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    Troll in the Playground
     
    Flame of Anor's Avatar

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    Default Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    The old thread is here. Go!


    And the new thread is here. Go there!
    Last edited by Flame of Anor; 2012-01-13 at 01:28 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Honest Tiefling View Post
    Attempting to use Iron Heart Surge can often lead to the player removing the 'not being beaten upside the head' condition.
    avatar by me. Extended sig here.

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    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    Licking lampposts in winter.

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    2. Having a +1 Vorpal Sword of Speed at level 14 (I was a newb, OK?)
    3.Jumping off the ship to fight a CR 24 Leviathin that was attacking the ship of our level 14 party, and 1 shoting it.
    4. Keeping the head that was the size of a house as a trophey.

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    Redshirt Army's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    5. Refusing to search for traps until paid.
    Disclaimer: Above message may contain inanity, irrelevant silliness, and/or madness. Viewer Discretion is Advised.

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    Orc in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    6. I may never play a cleric capable of casting Animate Dead. Ever.
    Excellent Ponsoon avatar by Akrim.elf!
    Quote Originally Posted by Red XIV View Post
    Everybody outsmarts Nale. Including Nale.
    I will be unable to post for an undetermined amount of time due to medical problems and family problems. Just a notice.

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    7. I may never have my half-orc barbarian invent the "Saddle-pult", mount it on his back, and load the Halfling Druid. Nor may I then charge with said preparations at an enemy with the intention of flinging the Halfling for him to wildshape mid-flight into a tiger.
    Avatar by Araveugnitsuga

    Fourthland: A Game of Abstraction
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daverin View Post
    Welknair, you are like... some living avatar of win. Who's made of win. And wields win as if it were but a toy. Win.
    Quote Originally Posted by Virdish
    Welknair you are a god among men. Thank you for creating a playground for the completely insane.
    Quote Originally Posted by Morph Bark
    There have also been times where I was jealous of your ingenuity and skills.

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    Troll in the Playground
     
    Flame of Anor's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    Quote Originally Posted by Welknair View Post
    7. I may never have my half-orc barbarian invent the "Saddle-pult", mount it on his back, and load the Halfling Druid. Nor may I then charge with said preparations at an enemy with the intention of flinging the Halfling for him to wildshape mid-flight into a tiger.
    But...whyever not?
    Quote Originally Posted by Honest Tiefling View Post
    Attempting to use Iron Heart Surge can often lead to the player removing the 'not being beaten upside the head' condition.
    avatar by me. Extended sig here.

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    Troll in the Playground
     
    Planetar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    8. Refuge in Audacity does not grant Resistance bonuses.

    9. Doomspeak does not require me to put a green cloak and steel mask on and randomly announce that DOOM is here to solve your pitiful moral quandary.

  9. - Top - End - #9
    Orc in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    10. I may not bring puppets to the table.
    11. Not even if they are really good puppets.
    12. The giant serpent is not a cheese doodle.
    13. The giant serpent is not made out of cheese doodles.
    14. I may not win fights by eating the monster.
    15. The monster is not the stand in for the miniature.
    16. I should not expect NPC's to flirt back.
    17. Attempting to seduce an NPC is right out.

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    Firbolg in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    18) No building characters that can build five-dot artifacts at character creation.

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    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    19. I may not help the party warblade optimize.
    20. Especially if said optimization allows her to one-shot a hydra.
    21. I may not have access to anything vorpal ever again.
    22. I may not boost my Tumble to "I don't even have to roll, I win"
    23. Ditto for Balance.
    24. Ditto for Jump.
    25. I may not introduce the party spellcaster to the concept of the Batman Wizard.

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    Ogre in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    26. I may not stab an innocent shopkeeper in the face, because a sentient dagger told me to.
    27. "A sentient dagger told me to" is not a valid excuse unless you failed your will save.
    28. I may not turn my sentient ring into a god.
    29. I may not have one of my teeth replaced with a gold tooth which has been enchanted to be a sentient magic item, with a high value in Wisdom and call it a Wisdom Tooth.
    30. I may not have sentient magic items. Ever.
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    Fourthland: A Game of Abstraction
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daverin View Post
    Welknair, you are like... some living avatar of win. Who's made of win. And wields win as if it were but a toy. Win.
    Quote Originally Posted by Virdish
    Welknair you are a god among men. Thank you for creating a playground for the completely insane.
    Quote Originally Posted by Morph Bark
    There have also been times where I was jealous of your ingenuity and skills.

    Extended Homebrewer's Signature

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    Troll in the Playground
     
    Planetar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    31. Charlie Sheen is not a natural 20. No matter how often he shouts "WINNING!"

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    32. I may not accidentally make an airship in a medieval setting.
    My Fan Fiction:
    To Catch A Mew
    A Kalos based pokemon fan fic. Now up to Chapter 25! I'm also on discord as "raziere".



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    Ogre in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    32a. Even if it's Magitech.
    33. I will not mislead the new guy by telling him that the Samurai is a great class
    Avatar by Araveugnitsuga

    Fourthland: A Game of Abstraction
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daverin View Post
    Welknair, you are like... some living avatar of win. Who's made of win. And wields win as if it were but a toy. Win.
    Quote Originally Posted by Virdish
    Welknair you are a god among men. Thank you for creating a playground for the completely insane.
    Quote Originally Posted by Morph Bark
    There have also been times where I was jealous of your ingenuity and skills.

    Extended Homebrewer's Signature

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    Troll in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    34. I may not, in any CoC-based game, make a character with ridiculously low sanity with the sole objective of making them go absolutely mad before the end of the campaign.
    I need to at least pretend I intend to have said character do something else beside digging up all the corpses, reading all the occult books, and witnessing all the mind-breaking events.
    Last edited by Mono Vertigo; 2011-07-12 at 10:32 AM.

  17. - Top - End - #17
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    35: "throw anything" doesn't cover small asteroids, no matter how much I wish it did
    Time is but a pattern in the currents of causality,
    an ever changing present that determines our reality,
    the past we see as history, the future seed with prophecy,
    and all the time we think on time our time is passing constantly.
    Starlight and Steam RPG

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    Troll in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    Quote Originally Posted by Megaduck View Post
    14. I may not win fights by eating the monster.

    17. Attempting to seduce an NPC is right out.
    I have to ask: Why not? These are GREAT solutions to some problems!
    Imagine if all real-world conversations were like internet D&D conversations...
    Protip: DnD is an incredibly social game played by some of the most socially inept people on the planet - Lev
    I read this somewhere and I stick to it: "I would rather play a bad system with my friends than a great system with nobody". - Trevlac
    Quote Originally Posted by Kelb_Panthera View Post
    That said, trolling is entirely counterproductive (yes, even when it's hilarious).

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    Troll in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    Quote Originally Posted by Musashi View Post
    34. I may not, in any CoC-based game, make a character with ridiculously low sanity with the sole objective of making them go absolutely mad before the end of the campaign.
    I need to at least pretend I intend to have said character do something else beside digging up all the corpses, reading all the occult books, and witnessing all the mind-breaking events.
    ....Because that's just too easy a goal?

    Quote Originally Posted by byaku rai View Post
    22. I may not boost my Tumble to "I don't even have to roll, I win"
    23. Ditto for Balance.
    24. Ditto for Jump.
    Is this actually a problem? Barring ridiculousness like the Jumplomancer, is being able to not fall down really all that game-breaking?
    Imagine if all real-world conversations were like internet D&D conversations...
    Protip: DnD is an incredibly social game played by some of the most socially inept people on the planet - Lev
    I read this somewhere and I stick to it: "I would rather play a bad system with my friends than a great system with nobody". - Trevlac
    Quote Originally Posted by Kelb_Panthera View Post
    That said, trolling is entirely counterproductive (yes, even when it's hilarious).

  20. - Top - End - #20
    Ogre in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    36. I may not use Welsh's List as a bucket list for my character.
    Avatar by Araveugnitsuga

    Fourthland: A Game of Abstraction
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daverin View Post
    Welknair, you are like... some living avatar of win. Who's made of win. And wields win as if it were but a toy. Win.
    Quote Originally Posted by Virdish
    Welknair you are a god among men. Thank you for creating a playground for the completely insane.
    Quote Originally Posted by Morph Bark
    There have also been times where I was jealous of your ingenuity and skills.

    Extended Homebrewer's Signature

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    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Zombie

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    37. The solution to every problem, puzzle, and challenge in the game is not "murder."
    38. Newly-Exalted Deathknights do not make good pets.
    39. When the goal is to stop a series of ritual sacrifices, "murdering the victims first" is not Plan A.
    40. If I choose to kill a group of Wyld Hunters, hide their bodies, and steal all their artifacts, I am not allowed to call the reaction of the party's Immaculate Monk "silly."
    Zombie for Hire
    from roleplaying to theatre to "get the hell off my lawn"
    zombie4hire.wordpress.com

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    NecromancerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    41. Not allowed to have a character cut himself with a sword of vampiric touch to set up a recursive loop.
    Iron Chef in the Playground veteran since Round IV. Play as me!


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    Tech Boy's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    42. No longer allowed to have a character that can change gender at will. Ever.
    Last edited by Tech Boy; 2011-07-12 at 12:12 PM.
    Freedom is to say that two plus two equals four, if that is granted, all else will follow.





    http://the-ethan-yazel.deviantart.com

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    Troll in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    Quote Originally Posted by Arbane View Post
    ....Because that's just too easy a goal?
    Yes, and because like most acts of evil and cruelty, it's only really worth it if the GM inflicts madness on non-masochist PCs, and vice versa.

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    Flame of Anor's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    Quote Originally Posted by Megaduck View Post
    14. I may not win fights by eating the monster.
    Hey, I've done that. Polymorphed into a wyvern remorhaz, of course...good times.
    Last edited by Flame of Anor; 2011-07-12 at 03:16 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Honest Tiefling View Post
    Attempting to use Iron Heart Surge can often lead to the player removing the 'not being beaten upside the head' condition.
    avatar by me. Extended sig here.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Flame of Anor View Post
    Hey, I've done that. Polymorphed into a wyvern, of course...good times.
    My players once ate a Red Dragon after slaying it. They ate it raw.

    ...


    43. I may not make a female character who where's bikini mail and wields a broadsword.

    44. I may not play a Dragonwrought Kobold. Ever.

    45. I may not apply more than one template to my character. Okay, maybe two.
    Avatar by Araveugnitsuga

    Fourthland: A Game of Abstraction
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daverin View Post
    Welknair, you are like... some living avatar of win. Who's made of win. And wields win as if it were but a toy. Win.
    Quote Originally Posted by Virdish
    Welknair you are a god among men. Thank you for creating a playground for the completely insane.
    Quote Originally Posted by Morph Bark
    There have also been times where I was jealous of your ingenuity and skills.

    Extended Homebrewer's Signature

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    46: No matter how much I want the shiny thing at the bottom of the pit trap, I am not allowed to jump in a second time.

    46a: Or a third time.

    46b: Or a fourth, fifth, or sixth time, for that matter.
    Last edited by DaragosKitsune; 2011-07-12 at 01:25 PM.
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    If the line between genius and madness is so thin...

    Then why do so few in this day and age toe said line?

    Thanks to Bongos for the v-13 avvie!

    I think the lesson that we can take away from this is that tentacles solve everything, and if you have a problem, then you just need more tentacles. - seadragonknight of the BG boards.

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    47. I may never have an intimacy towards shiny things

    48. Nor may I have a flaw that requires me to pursue shiny things

    49. "But he had a shiny thing!" is not a valid excuse for murder.

    50. Just because something is shiny, that does not mean it's valuable. I may not use spoons in place of currency.
    Avatar by Araveugnitsuga

    Fourthland: A Game of Abstraction
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daverin View Post
    Welknair, you are like... some living avatar of win. Who's made of win. And wields win as if it were but a toy. Win.
    Quote Originally Posted by Virdish
    Welknair you are a god among men. Thank you for creating a playground for the completely insane.
    Quote Originally Posted by Morph Bark
    There have also been times where I was jealous of your ingenuity and skills.

    Extended Homebrewer's Signature

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    Colossus in the Playground
     
    NecromancerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    51. I may not suggest forcing the assassins that were hired to kill us by the enemy army to fight the enemy army for us.

    52. I may not force indentured servitude upon the street urchins that are hired to toss rotten fruit at us.

    53. I may not point out that it actually states in the rules that natural weapons have a crit range.

    54. May not use Mirror Image, as we still can't figure that one out. x.x
    Last edited by Coidzor; 2011-07-12 at 01:41 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Keld Denar View Post
    +3 Girlfriend is totally unoptimized. You are better off with a +1 Keen Witty girlfriend and then appling Greater Magic Make-up to increase her enhancement bonus.
    Homebrew
    To Do: Reboot and finish Riptide

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    Zombie

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    Quote Originally Posted by Welknair View Post
    My players once ate a Red Dragon after slaying it. They ate it raw.
    Did they at least have ketchup?

    51. I may not cause a volcano to erupt, endangering the lives of over a hundred innocent people, without first informing the rest of the party.
    Zombie for Hire
    from roleplaying to theatre to "get the hell off my lawn"
    zombie4hire.wordpress.com

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