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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    RangerGuy

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    Default Best crits, worst fumbles

    What are your best crits (natural 20's) and worst fumbles (natural 1's)?

    My best crit was in one of my uncles D&D adventures, a high priest was about to sacrifice a woman on an altar. So the party rushes in and my thief rolls a crit and throws his dagger about 10 feet right in the high priests head!

    The worst fumble belongs to my friends ranger we were fighting strange cloaked men and he goes to stab one, fumbles and rolls crit on friend. That friend happens to be me and my other thief ends up dead by his best friends hand! Dramatic!

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    Pixie in the Playground
     
    DrowGuy

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    Default Re: Best crits, worst fumbles

    My worst fumble was when I was playing a paladin and first stabbed myself with my greatsword, and after using a round to draw it out of my spleen (DM said I couldn't quickdraw it from there) I rolled three 1's and accidentally committed suicide.

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    Default Re: Best crits, worst fumbles

    Two of the most memorable crits were both from a friend of mine in some D&D 2nd ed from a long time ago.

    The first I was not in the game but heard about it. My friend was playing a Paladin. He was fairly high level and had a Holy Avenger sword. He was fighting a Anti-Paladin with an Unholy advenger. The GM was using some house rules for parrying and criticals, some of the rules were from a Dragon magazine. Any way the Gm roles a 20 to hit my friends Paladin and my friend procedes to roll a 20 to parry. Then the opposite happened. This went on of a while as both had good AC and lots of hitpoints the normal hits really did not cause much damage. Finally they both, out in the open where everyone could see, rolled 20's for hit and parry 3 times in a row. The GM decided that they both had their swords shatter against each other. They both looked at each other and what their fight just cost them and the Anti-paladin said "your not worth this crap" and left.

    The other was the same guy was playing a Ranger. He had the mage use a spell, Conduit (I think that is the right spell) that allowed him to put normal objects into or on other objects and the normal object would "pop" out when the object it was put into was destroyed, to place a large boulder onto/into a scrap of cloth. He then tied the bolder/cloth onto an arrow. Well we were near the end of the campain and the flight of white dragons controled by some barbarians were attacking us and our allies when my friend aims this arrow at the dragon rider's leader's dragon. Of course he rolled 20 to hit and on the special Crit tables the GM was using he rolled the location of the dragons eye. So here was this guy leading his army from the air when the dragon under him suddenly had a boulder for a head. He did not survive the fall.

    Worst fumble has to be in a 3rd ed D&D game. The GM's pregnant NPC/PC character was being controled (by a vampire i think) and the other PC's did not want to kill her so a friend of mine ran to try to grapple her. Mind you he was fairly low level (around 4-5) and she had a vorpal sword. He fumbled the roll, rolling a natural 1 and ended up falling at her feet. The GM then proceded to roll a 20 for an attack on him, his head came right off.

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    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Kobold

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    Default Re: Best crits, worst fumbles

    Quote Originally Posted by zenon View Post
    My worst fumble was when I was playing a paladin and first stabbed myself with my greatsword, and after using a round to draw it out of my spleen (DM said I couldn't quickdraw it from there) I rolled three 1's and accidentally committed suicide.
    And that is why I hate fumble and crit houserules!

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    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Best crits, worst fumbles

    The worst Fumble/Crit in a game so far wasn't one i rolled myself.

    We start combat after an enemy charged at us.
    My lvl 5 rogue is only at 30hp due to 1 con drain.
    Both the enemy and I are standing next to the party's Fighter.
    The Fighter Fumbles and since we are playing with fumble and crit-decks draws a card.
    "Your attack hits an ally within range." which means me.
    He rolls to hit me, crits and confirms.
    "You do triple damage."
    I am now at -6 without having had a single action.

    It was hilarious and we laughed throughout the entire combat.
    Still, my rogue always kept some distance to the fighter afterwards.
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    Barbarian in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Best crits, worst fumbles

    Well, as a DM I had my worst crit yesterday. A kobold wielding a dagger did three damage in total.
    It was kinda funny to see the look on the faces of my players, when the tension was high after rolling a 19 and a 17, it came really tumbling down after hearing the damage.
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    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Default Re: Best crits, worst fumbles

    we had a very nice succesion of fumbles.Party was half obliterated by a daemon who was flying after them.

    The night elf fighter monk was already on the carriage, with his twin (a female night elf rogue) in the back of the carriage, passed out. The artificer in powered steam giant armor runs for her life dodging the arrows. She them tries to jumpo up to the carriage and get a 1 on her skill check, and falls to the ground.

    To buy the female artificer time, the night elf trows a tanglefoot bag at the fallen angel, gets a 1 and gets the card who say you hit the person closest. he hits the artificer, that was with The Shakes disease and a nice 2 DEX. She'snow glued to the floor.

    On her turn she tries to rip free from the glue and get a 1. the angel proceeds to hit her and she falls.

    the night elf takes the female artificer up and and rolls a profession check to make the horser go fast. 1. And he accidently sets free two of the four horses.


    Me and my players really like critical fumbles. As you can be so much awesome, you can sometimes really suck. we use critical decks and fumble decks, and more than one time they were saved by a lucky card that ended the battle. Also, more than one time they suffered because of a crit or fumble (the night elf doesn't have a hand, ripped by a Ragewalker on a crit, but now he wants a maug hand graft).
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    Ogre in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Best crits, worst fumbles

    Quote Originally Posted by zenon View Post
    My worst fumble was when I was playing a paladin and first stabbed myself with my greatsword, and after using a round to draw it out of my spleen (DM said I couldn't quickdraw it from there) I rolled three 1's and accidentally committed suicide.
    I wanna see a movie with that, most comedic death ever.
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    Barbarian in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Best crits, worst fumbles

    Well, My DM uses the Crit/Fumble decks from Paizo, so we've got some fun ones with those. One of my favorites happened at last session, where the party's Crit-Fisher Blinded a Walrus . Fun Times with Random Encounters .
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    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Best crits, worst fumbles

    My two worst fumbles:
    D&D 3E: 1st level human fighter, only combat type in the party, weapon focus, str 17. After a lot of roleplay, we reach the enemy. I win initiative. I attack a mook. I roll 1 and miss the confirm attack (our house rule). After losing his weapon, he almost called quits on his party.

    Mage the Ascension: My character is a detective. He's aborded by these guys in black that go "come with us quietly". I pull my gun and... fumble. It jams and I decide to punch one of them... fumble. I fall, and after getting back up I decide to obey and go with them before I kill myself...

    Two best criticals, both from a friend when I was DMing.
    He was a high level fighter, with two weapon, riding. The group was leading a small army against an orch fort after another player sneaked in and sabotaged their siege engines. The fighter rides up to whoever looked like the enemy leader, and crits with both weapons. The enemy leader falls in the first seconds of battle. The remaining forces start to run away.

    He played a female drow sorceress (it was a "monster" campaign) Everyone was locked up and his character seduces one of the guards... as he's very close, he uses ray of frost on the guard's face, straight at the eyes. And rolls 20. Twice. Cue jailbreak.

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    Default Re: Best crits, worst fumbles

    My first experience with roleplaying, I was 8, and my best friends older brother was into d and d. He had a full set of awesome pewter mini's, and we convinced him to run a game for several of us kids. He handled the dice, not figuring we were mature enough to understand the mathematics. I played a wizard, and he gave us all a few levels and a build to start with. The adventure started with us all a few miles away from each other, each on a quest to a cave where we were going to run into each and have to help each other out.

    Walking through the forest, I get attacked by, i kid you not, a Dire Ant. (described to me as a foot long red ant). I try stepping on it, I try squashing it with my staff. Its bitting me and dodging everything. Finally, I stop, and say, wait.. I'm a magician! I look through my spell list, and see fireball. I tell the DM I want to cast fireball on the ant. He tells me that its a 20 foot wide explosion, that it will take me with it as well.

    I get indignant, and start quoting the DM back at him (never a good idea). "WAIT A MINUTE! You're telling me that my character, a mage of amazing power, able to bend the fabric of space and time to his will, who has spent YEARS learning how to harness the magic of the world and shape it to his whim, can't, I dunno, say the words a little different, put a little less oomph behind it, and cast a fireball thats only, say, 5 feet across? Thats like saying a pitcher can ONLY throw fastballs, or our warrior over there can't choose to swing his sword softer to do less damage to someone, or the archer can't switch his arrow to a fowling blunt to knock someone out (yes, at 8 i knew what a fowling blunt was. hush).

    The DM thought for a moment, and said, "you know, you're right. But since you're modifying the spell, I have to roll for it." Out comes the d20. and it comes up... 1.

    He swears. I swear. He starts rolling repeatedly. Apparently, he was in the, keep rolling to see how bad it is, school of thought. He rolled 6 1's in a row, followed by a 2. He swore more. He said, "okay, its bad. Now, I'm going to roll to see how BIG it is. "
    "Big? I wanted it small."
    "Yeah, well, you screwed up. You want small numbers here. No 20's. "

    he proceeded to roll 5 20's, followed by an 18. He swore a lot.

    "Okay, so... while casting, the ant bites you on the foot. The word you were changing to make the fireball small, you mispronounce. The fireball is about 2 miles across. The sheer amount of magical power that pours through your body causes you to dessicate and die horribly, moments before the fireball vaporizes your dried dead body. The part of kobolds about to jump the rest of the part a mile away are killed, as is the rest of the party. uhh.... "

    He rolls a few more times. " The ant makes its saving throw, it burrowed into the ground and survived. "

    And thus ended my first game of D and D. honestly, it was more fun than what would have happened if he stuck dead on to the rules, and that has influenced my own play and dm style ever since.


    My best crit was in Vampire the masquerade larp. An elder pc character, one who had been with the game for 6 years, and honestly was considered an NPC and only occasionally used at this point, and a Giovanni to boot, was pissed at me. I was playing a Gangrel. He used soul steal on me, which is a Social challenge. Giovanni excel, gangrel do NOT. The mechanic in this instance is rock paper scissors, with powers letting you retest if you lose. He proceeded to retest 15 times, using up a BUNCH of stuff on this lowly gangrel. After the 5 time, when he should honestly have given up, it became about the principle of the thing. We drew an audience as for 5 minutes, he looked at the rule book, finding ways to retest again, using up all his social traits for the night. He kept losing, and finally gave up. I earned prestige for not being able to be soul stolen by the elder giovanni. (of course, he looked at the giovanni next to him, a younger one, and said, take his soul for me. Yeah, THAT challenge, I lost. sigh)
    Last edited by leakingpen; 2011-08-03 at 10:51 AM.
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    Default Re: Best crits, worst fumbles

    Let me tell you a story of Sameo...

    And no, that was not my character. However, I find the story too awesome to not share it.
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    Default Re: Best crits, worst fumbles

    The party was on a quest to gather up the four dragonswords that had been stolen from an elven city to prevent a great evil dragon from being unleashed. My character was an ancient elf general who led the first campaign to gather the dragonswords initially, long ago. He was reasonably epic. 12th level?

    Anyway, I got seperated from the party, (I stayed to defend an elven city from an assault and the rest of the party wanted to leave to take care of the swords which they thought was more important,) but there was a river between me and the party. Everyone had one or fewer magic items, (it was that kind of setting,) and not being a spellcaster I had to just fiord the river. I lasso a rope around a rock on the other side and start wading through. I hit the undercurrent. Strength check. 1. Dang. Okay, you are being washed down the river. Balance check. 2. Well, crap. The undercurrent pulls you under. Strength check to stand. 4. Okay, you get your head above the water. One more check. 1...

    That was the most ignominious death I have ever had.
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    Default Re: Best crits, worst fumbles

    Quote Originally Posted by Mordokai View Post
    Let me tell you a story of Sameo...

    And no, that was not my character. However, I find the story too awesome to not share it.
    I think that guy wins the thread.

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    Default Re: Best crits, worst fumbles

    Quote Originally Posted by Annulus View Post
    I think that guy wins the thread.
    Who knew that your worst fumble could also be your best crit?
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    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: Best crits, worst fumbles

    Worst, yet most humorous, crit I've seen:

    The party is up against a trio of high level undead (can't remember their names off the top of my head). Two of them are basically giant snakes with a pair of human heads, the other one is the leader of the group, fairly good melee, some spell casting, and able to shoot bone shards out of his mouth.

    Most of the party is busy going after the snakes, while my character decides to go after the "spellcaster". After a few rounds, I realize how good he is as melee, so I try to retreat. I decide to levitate above him, thinking he can't get me. I forgot about his ranged attack. He hits me, knocking me to 0. In a last-ditch effort to do something, I throw an alchemist's fire down on him... and miss. I pass out, fall, take falling damage, catch on fire, and am at -9, bleeding out, and on fire.

    Meanwhile, on the other side of the battlefield, the fighter (who is still above half max HP) gets grabbed... and the DM triple crits him. He gets ripped in half and dies instantly.

    So, to rephrase, the guy who had the most HP left in the group gets taken out before the guy who is moments away from dying thrice over. Almost had a TPK there, but one guy managed to survive (although the undead leader wasn't killed, just thrown into a 50' deep pool of blood).
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    Troll in the Playground
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    Default Re: Best crits, worst fumbles

    Quote Originally Posted by Annulus View Post
    I think that guy wins the thread.
    I think that guy wins D&D.

    No fumble/crit stories to report myself, as the current Pathfinder game I'm in doesn't use fumble rules. And it's a mighty good thing, too. Session before last, our sorceress rolled a 1 FOUR TIMES IN A ROW trying futiley to hit a big undead monstrosity with her only remaining attack, a Ray of Frost. The only good news was that the monster was rolling pretty bad itself. (Seriously, it was a cavalcade of failure in that fight. If we'd been using fumble rules, half the combatants probably would've died of self-inflicted injuries.)
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    Halfling in the Playground
     
    RangerGuy

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    Default Re: Best crits, worst fumbles

    Love these so far

    Another one I have is another friend was playing a ranger and was using two weapons he rolls a crit and a fumble. So we rule that he cut the bandit he was fighting in half but swung a little too hard and stabbed himself in the back falling unconscious it was awesome and disappointing!

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    Default Re: Best crits, worst fumbles

    Best Crit: My half-orc barbarian criting power attacking for full on the orc barbarian that just critted me power attacking for full. I barely survived, the orc... was insta slain.

    Worst fumble: Not actually me rolling it but it happened to me. The DM had just instituted a new house rule where if you fumble, you roll percentile with higher being worse for you and if you double fumble (two nat. 1's in a row) you double your result. The paladin of the party missed the demon that was almost dead rolled two nat. 1's and then a 98. Which then got doubled. His battle pick came flying out of his hands went over the demon and critted my wizard who was at 20 HP. I didn't make it.

    I got better though. Later when we were fighting the minotaur general of the lich we had to fight I laughed with glee as the minotaur rolled two natural 1's. I was waiting for the battle to slide in our favor because of that and the DM just announced, "Oh, I changed it back. That rule was to powerful/destructive.".... He changed it long enough for the rule to kill a player but changed it back before it actually damage his precious villains.

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    Halfling in the Playground
     
    RangerGuy

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    Default Re: Best crits, worst fumbles

    Quote Originally Posted by JerichoPenumbra View Post

    the DM just announced, "Oh, I changed it back. That rule was to powerful/destructive.".... He changed it long enough for the rule to kill a player but changed it back before it actually damage his precious villains.
    Sounds like someones not the worlds best DM

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    Default Re: Best crits, worst fumbles

    Quote Originally Posted by Maximus:Ranger View Post
    Sounds like someones not the worlds best DM
    As much I didn't like him at the time, I don't hold it against him too much. He has done so much worse that that but also has had some of the most awesome-epic things happen in his games. Overall he's still a pretty good DM.

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    Default Re: Best crits, worst fumbles

    just read the sameo story. That is awesome!
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    Default Re: Best crits, worst fumbles

    I think my best crit was just last night in a PbP. Previous to this, my DM rolled a 20 for my initiative. Then with my twenty on my attack roll, and the twenty on my "Just in case crit roll" I had to roll again which finally broke the cycle.

    It was a non-lethal strike on the very first thing we saw in the campaign...
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    Default Re: Best crits, worst fumbles

    I've played for years. I have never gotten more than one 1 in a row or two 20s in a row. :(
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    Default Re: Best crits, worst fumbles

    We were playing with a crit/fumble table and were battling a rat swarm in a mine. So, I'm playing a Warlock (3.5) and the things are just swarming me, but dealing no damage (DR 1/-), so I'm just sitting there blasting them away.

    Then one crits me, then confirms. I'm all "Pssh, one extra damage, big whoop." Well it rolled in the 90's, which resulted in "Skull Pierced, dead".

    Cue several minutes of laughing, then a retcon on the condition that my Warlock could no longer wear hats again.
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    Default Re: Best crits, worst fumbles

    This happened tonight in a homebrew D20 modern superheroes game:
    We were fighting a pair of helicopter gunships. The alchemist in our group sealed off one of the rocket pods on both of them. I (a telekinetic) readied an action to repel any rockets that were sent towards us.

    DM: the helicopters roll a 1 and a 20 so the rocket pod on one blows up and the other fires a rocket towards you.
    Me: Maybe not
    *Rolls*
    20!
    DM: *facepalm* you reflect the rocket straight back at the gunship that fired it.
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    Default Re: Best crits, worst fumbles

    Best crit I have ever seen:

    Our party had been imprisoned by an epic-level cleric who had convinced the town (with the help of a little hypnotism) that he was a god. After breaking out of the prison, we discover that he is about to sacrifice the entire town in order to use their souls to gain immortality. We find him on the outskirts of town, preparing to cast the spell. Having just broken out of jail, we had no weapons or armor, so we all picked up large rocks and pitched them at the cleric (as the halfling, I was stuck with a mere pebble. ).

    And we all rolled 20s.

    The spell was disrupted, the cleric was knocked out, and we proceeded to charge his followers. Unfortunately, we were knocked out rather quickly, the cleric got back up and finished the spell, and at the present we've chased him into the desert and are looking for him.

    But I'll be damned if that wasn't the most epic volley of rocks I've ever seen.
    Last edited by Immonen; 2011-08-03 at 08:21 PM.
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    Default Re: Best crits, worst fumbles

    I got a crit with a battle axe (times 3 modifier) with my barb. against the final end boss in a campaign. I dealt like 40 damage and took down the foe pretty quickly. It was an awesome kill, but a disappointing end boss fight.

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    Default Re: Best crits, worst fumbles

    Quote Originally Posted by Immonen View Post
    Best crit I have ever seen:

    Our party had been imprisoned by an epic-level cleric who had convinced the town (with the help of a little hypnotism) that he was a god. After breaking out of the prison, we discover that he is about to sacrifice the entire town in order to use their souls to gain immortality. We find him on the outskirts of town, preparing to cast the spell. Having just broken out of jail, we had no weapons or armor, so we all picked up large rocks and pitched them at the cleric (as the halfling, I was stuck with a mere pebble. ).

    And we all rolled 20s.

    The spell was disrupted, the cleric was knocked out, and we proceeded to charge his followers. Unfortunately, we were knocked out rather quickly, the cleric got back up and finished the spell, and at the present we've chased him into the desert and are looking for him.

    But I'll be damned if that wasn't the most epic volley of rocks I've ever seen.
    What? You don't know about the epic powers and weapon prof. a halfling has with a pebble?
    Homebrew PrC: The Performance Artist
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    GoblinArchmage's Avatar

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    Default Re: Best crits, worst fumbles

    When I, and everybody that I played with at the time, were still new to the game, the DM explained that a natural 20 was always a success, regardless of modifiers. In response, my brother proceeded to shoot an arrow at the moon, so the DM told him to roll. Guess which number the die fell on?

    Edit: That Sameo story might be the most epic D&D related thing that I have ever read.

    Edit #2: Apparently I accidentally put a winking smiley face on the beginning of that post. I have now fixed that.
    Last edited by GoblinArchmage; 2011-08-04 at 12:20 AM.
    Epic avatar by: Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins

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