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  1. - Top - End - #1111
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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 20: Critical Hit!

    Quote Originally Posted by H Birchgrove View Post
    Go to Sincerely, Natalie Reed, scroll down to the post made at 15 February, 2012 at 9:00 am. It's about how persons like me - who for one reason or another like-like trans persons - should and shouldn't behave. Anders (Asta Kask) made some great replies to that post.
    This is relevant to my interests.

    So, anyways. There have been certain events lately that have called my attention back to this thread, and to how unconnected I am in the LGBT world.

    I guess I settled. There really isn't any other way to describe what I did. I locked myself up and in and pretended that I wasn't anything that wasn't "heteronormative". I admitted my sexuality only under certain situations, guilted myself for queer behavior... I pretty much locked myself back into the closet, told myself to be quiet about it, and judged others for not being so.
    I wanna say its because of the State I live in. I want to say its because Oklahoma is like that- we accept you, so long as you stay quiet and keep your nose down.
    Do your business in the dark, alone, and in shame.
    But, really, its just me being weak.

    I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I made anyone feel less by making my "Be who you are, but be demure about it" stances.

    There's another, more personal issue going on in my life, but seeing as I'm slowly going through the process of peeking back out of the closet again, I'm not sure if I'm really ready to accept it, much less talk about it with others.

    "This is why it hurts the way it hurts.
    You have too many words in your head.
    There are too many ways to describe the way you feel.
    You will never have the luxury of a dull ache.
    You must suffer through the intricacy of feeling too much"

    Iain S. Thomas
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  2. - Top - End - #1112
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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 20: Critical Hit!

    Quote Originally Posted by Heliomance View Post
    Went shopping today with a friend, I now have more feminine clothes (including a rather nicely flattering pair of bootleg jeans!) tweezers for doing something about my eyebrows, and foundation. I felt bad enough about my body today that I had to do something about it.
    Awesome! Now I'm jealous. I don't have any clothes yet. *sigh* Maybe one day. :)

    Quote Originally Posted by Lix Lorn View Post
    I sort of get that. There's quite a bit of difference between the internet-me, the internet persona I act, and the self I have in munspace. Sometimes I don't even know if any of them have any resemblance to me anymore.
    Quote Originally Posted by The Succubus View Post
    As I recall saying in another thread not so long ago, The Succubus is quite different to {real name redacted}. I am slowly working on bringing more of my outgoing online persona into meatspace but it is difficult.

    I also don't have wings in real life.
    This I understand. It is quite normal to be different while wrapped in the anonymity of being online that in meatspace.

    What I'm referring to is meatspace only. I'm one way at work. I'm another way entirely at school. I'm again different at home, and then different when dealing with my wife, my kids, and my roommate.

    More incessant whining (yes, I'm getting very sick of my whining at this point, one day I need to stomp my foot and GET OVER MYSELF):
    Spoiler
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    When I was young, my mom took me to a self-help conference. We learned about "matching and modeling". This is a technique used to make people you speak to more comfortable by watching how they behave, and mirroring it with your own. I do this so much now that it's reflexive. There's no active thought process involved at all. If the person sitting across from me has their legs crossed and their finger thoughtfully on their chin, I will catch myself doing the same. If I'm speaking to a large group of people, I subconsciously change my posture to more closely mirror theirs.

    This is all superficial stuff, but my desire to fit in has me doing it mentally as well. I take on the behaviors of those around me. So much so that sometimes I'll sit back and think, "Wow, do I really think this way? Because when I'm over in this other place, doing this other thing, I don't believe that at all."

    It frightens me because sometimes I don't know what's *me* or not. Am I really trans*? Or maybe this is so horribly deranged ploy by my brain has adopted in a subconscious effort to get negative attention. "Ooo, look at me! I'm unique. I'm different. Come comfort and love me." UGH!

    I think these things and then I put this whole trans* thing out of my head and move forward, right? And then I wake up a day or two later and feel really... bad about my body. Facial hair, arm hair, my nasty, half-grown head hair... my deep voice, UGH.

    Yes, I know it's time to talk to somebody about this, but I simply have no time. I work 9-10 hours a day, have school 3 days a week, and have a MOUNTAIN of homework that I'm still behind on, and we're only 6 weeks into the 16 week semester. Somewhere in there I need downtime to try and relax... but I'm staying up until 2-4AM every morning to do that as it is...


  3. - Top - End - #1113
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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 20: Critical Hit!

    Plucked my eyebrows, put on a bit of makeup, wearing my new jeans and a lovely top that really makes me look like a girl. I feel pretty.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalirren View Post
    The only person in the past two pages who has known what (s)he has been talking about is Heliomance.
    Quote Originally Posted by golentan View Post
    I just don't want to have long romantic conversations or any sort of drama with my computer, okay? It knows what kind of porn I watch. I don't want to mess that up by allowing it to judge any of my choices in romance.

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  4. - Top - End - #1114
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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 20: Critical Hit!

    Quote Originally Posted by Heliomance View Post
    Plucked my eyebrows, put on a bit of makeup, wearing my new jeans and a lovely top that really makes me look like a girl. I feel pretty.
    I'd bet money that you are.
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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 20: Critical Hit!

    Oddly, I feel like I'm more restrained online. Largely because sarcasm doesn't translate well. (Not that normal people can tell when I'm being sarcastic in person anyway. I'm so sarcastic it seems real and I just look like somebody who really has ridiculous views.)
    Jude P.

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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 20: Critical Hit!

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    First picture cropped because my face looked awful. I repeat, no matter how I look IRL, I do not photo well >_<
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalirren View Post
    The only person in the past two pages who has known what (s)he has been talking about is Heliomance.
    Quote Originally Posted by golentan View Post
    I just don't want to have long romantic conversations or any sort of drama with my computer, okay? It knows what kind of porn I watch. I don't want to mess that up by allowing it to judge any of my choices in romance.

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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 20: Critical Hit!

    Quote Originally Posted by Heliomance View Post
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    First picture cropped because my face looked awful. I repeat, no matter how I look IRL, I do not photo well >_<
    You are pretty.
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    My motto: Repensum Est Canicula.

    Quote Originally Posted by turkishproverb View Post
    I am not getting into a shootout with Golentan. Too many gun-arms.
    Leiningen will win, even if he must lose in the attempt.

    Credit to Astrella for the new party avatar.

  8. - Top - End - #1118
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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 20: Critical Hit!

    Heliomance, you look very pretty. Still going for a bit of an androgynous look?


    @Rabbit. *HUGS*

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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 20: Critical Hit!

    Quote Originally Posted by Heliomance View Post
    Plucked my eyebrows, put on a bit of makeup, wearing my new jeans and a lovely top that really makes me look like a girl. I feel pretty.
    Yes.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lix Lorn View Post
    I'd bet money that you are.
    YES!

    Quote Originally Posted by Heliomance View Post
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    First picture cropped because my face looked awful. I repeat, no matter how I look IRL, I do not photo well >_<
    You are very brave for sharing, and I appreciate that. You have done very well in feminizing yourself. :) I'm jealous! :)

    Quote Originally Posted by golentan View Post
    You are pretty.
    YES!

  10. - Top - End - #1120
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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 20: Critical Hit!

    Quote Originally Posted by Heliomance View Post
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    First picture cropped because my face looked awful. I repeat, no matter how I look IRL, I do not photo well >_<
    You are indeed quite cute.
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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 20: Critical Hit!

    Quote Originally Posted by Heliomance View Post
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    First picture cropped because my face looked awful. I repeat, no matter how I look IRL, I do not photo well >_<
    Yummy Helio is yummy!

  12. - Top - End - #1122
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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 20: Critical Hit!

    Quote Originally Posted by Soft Serve View Post
    Heliomance, you look very pretty. Still going for a bit of an androgynous look?
    In general, yes. Today, I was just trying to get as far away from male as I could >_<

    I actually look more feminine than the pictures show atm. I'm pretty sure I could pass as female under all but close inspection.
    Last edited by Heliomance; 2012-02-17 at 02:43 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalirren View Post
    The only person in the past two pages who has known what (s)he has been talking about is Heliomance.
    Quote Originally Posted by golentan View Post
    I just don't want to have long romantic conversations or any sort of drama with my computer, okay? It knows what kind of porn I watch. I don't want to mess that up by allowing it to judge any of my choices in romance.

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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 20: Critical Hit!

    Quote Originally Posted by Heliomance View Post
    In general, yes. Today, I was just trying to get as far away from male as I could >_<

    I actually look more feminine than the pictures show atm. I'm pretty sure I could pass as female under all but close inspection.
    You definitely look more feminine than anything.

  14. - Top - End - #1124
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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 20: Critical Hit!

    Quote Originally Posted by Heliomance View Post
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    First picture cropped because my face looked awful. I repeat, no matter how I look IRL, I do not photo well >_<
    HAWT.
    SO VERY HAWT.

    Ahem.

    I mean.
    You look lovely!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thanqol View Post
    It's like the feng shui version of an orbital death laser.

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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 20: Critical Hit!

    Not to sound like a Lix fangirl but... Yes. This. :)

    Quote Originally Posted by Lix Lorn View Post
    HAWT.
    SO VERY HAWT.

    Ahem.

    I mean.
    You look lovely!

  16. - Top - End - #1126
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    smile Re: LGBTAitP - Part 20: Critical Hit!

    Quote Originally Posted by RabbitHoleLost View Post
    This is relevant to my interests.

    So, anyways. There have been certain events lately that have called my attention back to this thread, and to how unconnected I am in the LGBT world.

    I guess I settled. There really isn't any other way to describe what I did. I locked myself up and in and pretended that I wasn't anything that wasn't "heteronormative". I admitted my sexuality only under certain situations, guilted myself for queer behavior... I pretty much locked myself back into the closet, told myself to be quiet about it, and judged others for not being so.
    I wanna say its because of the State I live in. I want to say its because Oklahoma is like that- we accept you, so long as you stay quiet and keep your nose down.
    Do your business in the dark, alone, and in shame.
    But, really, its just me being weak.

    I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I made anyone feel less by making my "Be who you are, but be demure about it" stances.

    There's another, more personal issue going on in my life, but seeing as I'm slowly going through the process of peeking back out of the closet again, I'm not sure if I'm really ready to accept it, much less talk about it with others.
    *Hugs*

    Don't feel bad about it, being outspoken about a part of your identity that society want to keep quiet is a tiring and uphill battle. You're not weak, that's just that same societal shaming and shunning that you just described speaking. Recognising mistakes enough to apologise here is more than enough for a sign of strength, if you ask me.

    If I hypothesise correctly, that is. I am not a brainwashing expert. Nope.
    >_>
    <_<

    Quote Originally Posted by Al'izh'dheg View Post
    This I understand. It is quite normal to be different while wrapped in the anonymity of being online that in meatspace.

    What I'm referring to is meatspace only. I'm one way at work. I'm another way entirely at school. I'm again different at home, and then different when dealing with my wife, my kids, and my roommate.

    More incessant whining (yes, I'm getting very sick of my whining at this point, one day I need to stomp my foot and GET OVER MYSELF):
    Spoiler
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    When I was young, my mom took me to a self-help conference. We learned about "matching and modeling". This is a technique used to make people you speak to more comfortable by watching how they behave, and mirroring it with your own. I do this so much now that it's reflexive. There's no active thought process involved at all. If the person sitting across from me has their legs crossed and their finger thoughtfully on their chin, I will catch myself doing the same. If I'm speaking to a large group of people, I subconsciously change my posture to more closely mirror theirs.

    This is all superficial stuff, but my desire to fit in has me doing it mentally as well. I take on the behaviors of those around me. So much so that sometimes I'll sit back and think, "Wow, do I really think this way? Because when I'm over in this other place, doing this other thing, I don't believe that at all."

    It frightens me because sometimes I don't know what's *me* or not. Am I really trans*? Or maybe this is so horribly deranged ploy by my brain has adopted in a subconscious effort to get negative attention. "Ooo, look at me! I'm unique. I'm different. Come comfort and love me." UGH!

    I think these things and then I put this whole trans* thing out of my head and move forward, right? And then I wake up a day or two later and feel really... bad about my body. Facial hair, arm hair, my nasty, half-grown head hair... my deep voice, UGH.

    Yes, I know it's time to talk to somebody about this, but I simply have no time. I work 9-10 hours a day, have school 3 days a week, and have a MOUNTAIN of homework that I'm still behind on, and we're only 6 weeks into the 16 week semester. Somewhere in there I need downtime to try and relax... but I'm staying up until 2-4AM every morning to do that as it is...

    Maybe the camouflage personality is part of who you are? "You" don't have to be consistent in all situations, few actually are.

    Take me, I generally harbour the same flaws and strengths in most situations, but their expression vary greatly from setting to setting.

    At school I am visually weird, through hair and clothing, but meek and nervous around people. Especially more than two people at once. ._.

    Online, I am quite a lot sillier and more free, but I am still quite nervous about what I say. Which you might have noticed through my rampant apologising and overuse of emoticons. ^_^'

    So you might just be a very flexible character, a person who hold the comfort of others above definite traits. Or maybe you are a social ninja! But it is You no matter how invisible it seems.
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    At first, it was the smiley faces and the mannerisms. Then, it was the infernal magpie. It struck a chord. A cutely fiendish, macabre chord.

    An then I saw Keveak in the sorting hat and you are just the cutest thing when you want to be. My gosh look at that. It's squee-inducing.

  17. - Top - End - #1127
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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 20: Critical Hit!

    Quote Originally Posted by Al'izh'dheg View Post
    Not to sound like a Lix fangirl but... Yes. This. :)
    Give in to the fangirl within. Give in, and allow yourself to be lixed.
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    My motto: Repensum Est Canicula.

    Quote Originally Posted by turkishproverb View Post
    I am not getting into a shootout with Golentan. Too many gun-arms.
    Leiningen will win, even if he must lose in the attempt.

    Credit to Astrella for the new party avatar.

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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 20: Critical Hit!

    You look rather like one of my female cousins in that picture, Heliomance. Except that your jawline is more pronounced. I'd say that's pretty androgynous.
    LGBTA+itP

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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 20: Critical Hit!

    Quote Originally Posted by RabbitHoleLost View Post
    This is relevant to my interests.

    So, anyways. There have been certain events lately that have called my attention back to this thread, and to how unconnected I am in the LGBT world.

    I guess I settled. There really isn't any other way to describe what I did. I locked myself up and in and pretended that I wasn't anything that wasn't "heteronormative". I admitted my sexuality only under certain situations, guilted myself for queer behavior... I pretty much locked myself back into the closet, told myself to be quiet about it, and judged others for not being so.
    I wanna say its because of the State I live in. I want to say its because Oklahoma is like that- we accept you, so long as you stay quiet and keep your nose down.
    Do your business in the dark, alone, and in shame.
    But, really, its just me being weak.

    I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I made anyone feel less by making my "Be who you are, but be demure about it" stances.

    There's another, more personal issue going on in my life, but seeing as I'm slowly going through the process of peeking back out of the closet again, I'm not sure if I'm really ready to accept it, much less talk about it with others.

    Rabbit, it's not you being weak. It is you being scared. It's scary to think you are not going to be accepted, especially when you simply do not see a lot of non-conforming behavior. You just keep trekkin'!


    On a side note: Heliomance I wish I was as feminine looking as you, and I have two large obviously female protrusions on my chest.


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  20. - Top - End - #1130
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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 20: Critical Hit!

    So how did you touch up your eyebrows anyway? All I can see is that the very outer edges are pointed slightly more down than they were as I recall them from the last time I saw them.

    Keveak: I rather doubt that. While we all wear various hats, there's generally a bit more substance to us than "has the ability to wear multiple hats and change them quickly"
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  21. - Top - End - #1131
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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 20: Critical Hit!

    Quote Originally Posted by Al'izh'dheg View Post
    Spoilered so I don't fill up the page with whining that nobody needs to suffer through.
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    Which is interesting to me as I have absolutely no interest in fashion. I've really been thinking about my gender lately. I've made friends with some folks on Facebook who are in the process of, or already have transitioned. What really scares me is lots of pictures really strike me as "guy in drag" not "transwoman." It immediately turns of me mentally and doesn't fit what I see myself as.

    I feel really shallow when this happens, because I know that if I actually can't *look* like a woman, I would never be able to go through with transition. I mean I get that people have good and bad days. That's a given but... *sigh*

    At first I struggled with what it means to be trans. Then I struggled with being a "real" woman. Now I'm struggling with being a "real" transwoman. No, I'm not trying to be offensive, I'm being sincere. I don't think my mind has wrapped around all of my issues.

    Couple this with the fact that I'm a chameleon in society (meaning I change my behaviors (sometimes drastically) depending on the context I'm in and what is accepted) and what it boils down to is the fact that I have no freaking clue where the real me begins and where all the bs ends. Some days it feels like I'm all bs. That there *is* no "real" me.


    Edit: Dang it!!! I just read Natalie's blog for the first time, and the very first thing I read is how horribly cis-biased what I just wrote was!!! Gah, I hate myself now. I'm so, so sorry to everybody I just offended.
    If you read through my posts over there (that should take a while), you'll see just how wrong I have been. But that's not the point. The point is I'm willing to change and I'm willing to work for it. We are not born knowing all of this, we have to learn and we have to learn from someone.

    Since I started reading Natalie's blog I have had to re-evaluate my opinions about drug abusers and the so-called working classes and thoroughly work through my thoughts about what is proper and improper behavior around trans people. It's difficult, sure. My cognitive dissonance from one of her posts was probably part of what sent me to the mental hospital. But the alternative is to live a lie and I'm not willing to do that.

    I cannot believe that the goal of Natalie's blog is to induce shame and guilt in the readers. It is to open our eyes to a new world with new vistas and new opportunities. And whatever else I know, one thing is for sure - self-loathing is never the answer.

    *hug*

    Quote Originally Posted by Lix Lorn View Post
    I sort of get that. There's quite a bit of difference between the internet-me, the internet persona I act, and the self I have in munspace. Sometimes I don't even know if any of them have any resemblance to me anymore.
    Internet-me and meatspace me are two different things. They have many things in common, but I'm considerably more flirty on the Internet, for instance. But that's what humans do - we adapt to the environment. Things that are proper to say in one company are not proper to say in others. And that's fine.

    *hug*
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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 20: Critical Hit!

    Quote Originally Posted by Coidzor View Post
    So how did you touch up your eyebrows anyway? All I can see is that the very outer edges are pointed slightly more down than they were as I recall them from the last time I saw them.
    Thinned them down a bit so they're not bushy caterpillars, shortened them a bit at both ends, and made an attempt at putting a little bit of an arch in. Not sure how well that bit worked though.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalirren View Post
    The only person in the past two pages who has known what (s)he has been talking about is Heliomance.
    Quote Originally Posted by golentan View Post
    I just don't want to have long romantic conversations or any sort of drama with my computer, okay? It knows what kind of porn I watch. I don't want to mess that up by allowing it to judge any of my choices in romance.

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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 20: Critical Hit!

    I'm waiting approval from deviantART, but hopefully, #Heroes-of-GiantitP is soon up and running! ("Superheroes of the Playground" was too long a title for the group... Ces't la vie!)

    Quote Originally Posted by Asta Kask View Post


    Thank you. I'm very interested in three areas where transgender issues are important.

    Philosophy: What is a man/woman? Who gets to say?
    Neuroscience: What do transgender people tell us about how the brain represents gender?
    Justice: I have a passion for justice, for not standing aside when evil is done. And I've almost always been the weak one. The feeling of getting to help others, to be the strong one for once is... exhilirating.

    But none of this would have mattered if it hadn't been for the members of this thread. I think the first trans person I knew closer was Lix, and you know how it is with her - once you've met her you're lost. You can't believe anything bad about trans people after that. And the other trans people in this thread have only strengthened that feeling. You are wonderful, wonderful people all of you.

    And then, activism. Natalie Reed taught me just how bad trans people have it. She gave me cold hard figures that I couldn't deny. After a momentary BSOD I've decided that the time for action is now.

    Quote Originally Posted by SiuiS View Post
    Asta

    Your name

    Is Awesome.

    And what's this?
    Philosophy and justice?

    Asta

    You sir

    Are Awesome.

    Quote Originally Posted by Asta Kask View Post
    When I first came to the thread I was driven mainly by curiosity. And that's all fine and dandy, but it's a little cold. Seeing people as interesting curiosities rather than as full humans. But the more I discussed with people here, and especially you via the CrackForum, the more I came to re-evaluate my stance. Of course I knew on some abstract plane that everyone here is human (except golentan), but it wasn't internalized. But your whimsical net-personality drove it home for me. Thinking of my bubbly little Lix being persecuted for what she was... unbearable. And so I joined the thread as a friend and ally, rather than as a scientist.
    I agree with SiuiS.

    Despite our different backgrounds and experience, there is much I recognize in what dear Asta is writing. The curious mind, the scientific point-of-view (even though I'm far from being as smart as Asta), the need to realise how wrong I was, etc. I can only hope I will become as good and as open-minded as Asta.

    PS. Sorry for not replying sooner, Anders. I got carried away by other things.
    Last edited by H Birchgrove; 2012-02-17 at 05:10 PM.
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  24. - Top - End - #1134
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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 20: Critical Hit!

    So I found that there's an LGBT club at my high school. I'm going to pressure them into adding an "A" to the end of that.
    Steam username is Triscuitable.
    I got VAC banned in COD: Ghosts for using an FOV changer.
    I try not to think of how sad that is.

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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 20: Critical Hit!

    Quote Originally Posted by Heliomance View Post
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    First picture cropped because my face looked awful. I repeat, no matter how I look IRL, I do not photo well >_<
    You look nice. n.n
    Although possibly a little more on the feminine side than androgynous.

    Quote Originally Posted by Triscuitable View Post
    So I found that there's an LGBT club at my high school. I'm going to pressure them into adding an "A" to the end of that.
    You can tell them that an internet stranger going by the alias "Jude Paxmrosy" approves of this.
    Jude P.

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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 20: Critical Hit!

    Quote Originally Posted by noparlpf View Post
    You can tell them that an internet stranger going by the alias "Jude Paxmrosy" approves of this.
    Will do that. One of my classmates actually walked up during a Powerpoint Presentation and announced she was bisexual.

    The guts it takes to say that in a school full of the most stupid kids is impressive. Either that, or she did it for popularity. I wouldn't be happy to learn that.
    Steam username is Triscuitable.
    I got VAC banned in COD: Ghosts for using an FOV changer.
    I try not to think of how sad that is.

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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 20: Critical Hit!

    Why would you interrupt someone else's power point presentation to come out of the closet though? Was it topical to the presentation or something?
    Quote Originally Posted by Keld Denar View Post
    +3 Girlfriend is totally unoptimized. You are better off with a +1 Keen Witty girlfriend and then appling Greater Magic Make-up to increase her enhancement bonus.
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  28. - Top - End - #1138
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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 20: Critical Hit!

    Heliomance, you look pretty.

    Hugs Al'izh'dheg, Asta Kask, Lix Lorn, RabbitHoleLost, and anyone else who is in need of a hug!

    I was feeling terribly lonely and sad a few hours ago, as well as insomniac (after waking up after two hours of sleep), which weren't cured by cuddling my pillows. Visits to Facebook and deviantART helped me though, and I'm feeling tired again.

    Important announcement: AFAIK, there will no longer be sterilization of transsexual persons who want to do transition in Sweden! There also seems to be an opening for reproductive rights for trans persons.

    Less important announcement: Heroes-of-Giantitp on deviantART has been created. Co-founders are needed! Members are wanted! Art and stories are appreciated!
    Last edited by H Birchgrove; 2012-02-18 at 12:47 AM. Reason: Grammar
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  29. - Top - End - #1139
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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 20: Critical Hit!

    Reading the bit Asta posted about backhanded compliments, I am struck by how the tone, unintentional though it may be, comes across almost like whining. All of the problems listed are not specifically trans problems. I have dealt with all sorts of folks who go through almost every darn thing there.

    My first reaction was that she is asking for special consideration because of being trans. Appropriately, I slapped myself and looked again. After all, there's nothing inherently wrong with asking for extra consideration, and every subject deserves its own unique scrutiny.

    So what would make me respond to everyday problems in such a way? Repetition. This isn't whining, this is someone getting so flustered by the same things over and over that she has gone on the attack as politely as possible. In that context, and given the way it is written, I have to support the effort.

    I looked it over from several other angles, and I have a lot of food for thought. I'll spare you all, as my personal thoughts tend not to make sense outside of my unique framework. But one thing continues to stand out as something I dot have an answer for (not even 'there is no singular answer' though that's probably most accurate).

    Passing is brought up as something that is not necessarily an aspiration. Hm. Actually this makes more sense as time goes on, but I suppose typing it out is helping me formulate and answer it so I'll continue.

    I do no understand... What was it, finding trans worthwhile in and of itself? From what I have gathered, it is a terrible malady to suffer through. It is a sense of feeling Other but wanting to be Same. So... Why say one should learn to value that Otherness?

    Certainly, desiring Sameness is not a motive that could be given to everyone (even discounting people who go for Otherness as a path of least resistance and rebellion) but, well, I feel like I am missing the point. I'm starting to get it, as bits and pieces fall into place in my head. It's not a discrete problem, it's a complete system, full of IF/THEN/ELSE junctions. I will have to make due with that for now.

    Now, to figure out if it's worth goin back for the stuff I had quoted but delayed on from this morning...

  30. - Top - End - #1140
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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 20: Critical Hit!

    That's a really good look for you, Heliomance.
    Steam username is Triscuitable.
    I got VAC banned in COD: Ghosts for using an FOV changer.
    I try not to think of how sad that is.

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