I need limericks for a fantasy setting.

[gomipile]

I'm considering playing a bard with the equivalent of Perform(Comedy) in an upcoming game. I need limericks which don't refer to Earth's(or any other particular world's)culture or history at all.

I have a list started, but anything you can offer will help.

[Ravens_cry]

Hard to do as Limericks rhyme.
Rhyming, of course, depends on the language of origin, which means that your fictional fantasy culture is ostensibly speaking English, or you have a very weird set of coincidences.
Still. . .
There once was an orc named Bort,
Who built a massive fort,
His skills were so raw,
He made it of straw,
But his knife made a keen retort.

Two silvers and a penny,
My riches ain't many,
But give me a while,
And I'll make with such style,
I'll soon have golds times twenty

A wee goblins lustre,
Will never pass muster,
Its shine is all grit,
And smells rather of . . .spit,
And its fame is really just bluster,

[Elemental]

The once was a wizard from Clare,
Who decided to ride on a bear,
And... I've got nothing. But hopefully I've given someone a good idea.


Edit @^: True. Getting the rhyme is hard. Even worse is the rhythmic scheme required to give them the limerick feel.
No offence, but your last two were missing that essential flow. And the second line of the first one needs an extra syllable.
Consider changing it to:
"Who built a very large fort".


I blame my English teachers. We had a poetry unit every year, and they made sure we learnt to properly structure a limerick.

[Ravens_cry]

The once was a wizard from Clare,
Who decided to ride on a bear,
He said "Is a pleasure to ride her,
I'll let no man deride her,"
"But of her teeth and claws and bite, take care."

Another version of Bort's tale.

There once was an orc named Bort,
Who built a very large fort,
He made it of straw,
But point out the flaw,
And his knife made a keen retort.
Edit: ^I have no formal training in poetry, much less limericks. You are probably right. Lets finagle with the last one a bit.

Two silvers and a penny,
My riches ain't many,
But give me a while,
And I'll make with such style,
Soon I'll have golds aplenty.

That any better?

[joe]

I had a character that did limericks once. He was a lot of fun. I found the easiest thing to do was go on a standard adventure and write limericks about the party members as they happen. Particularly if one of them does something stupid.

I did this and had the gaming table rolling in laughter.

Best thing to do is think up a list of words that rhyme and work around them.

[Elemental]

I'm sorry... I have to do this...
*performs exorcism on self*
Out foul grammar spirit! Out!

Now... Where was I...

There once was a Wizard from Clare,
Who decided to ride on a bear,
'Tis a pleasure to ride her,
But let no man deride her,
Of her sharp teeth and claws, beware.

There once was an Orc named Bort,
Who built a very large fort,
He made it of straw,
But point out the flaw,
And his knife makes the retort.


My own poetry training is only of a high school English level, and I'm terrible at limericks because I can't find good rhymes easily. It's the rhythm I'm good with because I'm also musical.

As for the second one, try:

Two silvers and some brass,
My riches are not many,
But give me a while,
And with some fine style,
I'll soon have ingots aplenty.


Sorry for rewriting parts of them. But they tend to work better if you stick to a loose syllabic structure.
And as for the last one, you need to make the first two lines a bit longer.




How did this happen? I'm terrible at poetry! The best thing I've ever written is a short epic that didn't even rhyme!
Feel free to disregard all my comments because I'm probably not making them that much better, if at all.

[Shadowknight12]

Dance with snakes,
dance with ire,
dance with Otto's
irresistible fire.

-*-*-

It comes with darkness,
It comes with night,
It comes to kill you,
the dreadful wight.

-*-*-

Fear not the touch
of the terrible wraith.
Stay by the priest,
with their symbol of faith.

-*-*-

Unmade in fire,
Unmade in cold,
An evoker will ruin you,
or so I've been told.

-*-*-

I saw a pretty elf,
down by the woods,
with long flowing hair,
and such fanciful moods.

If the elf was a lass,
or a handsome lad,
I could not tell,
yet good times were had.

-*-*-

A knight came to me,
and asked me to lie!
I was rather surprised,
Wooing comes first, aye?

-*-*-

Hah, I could do this all day.

[Weirdlet]

Taken from the show Blazing Dragons, by way of the Unemployed Wandering Minstrel-

I once had a job but it's gone
'twas nothing that I had done wrong
Camelhot let me go
here to wander the road
now no one can hear my sad song

Perfect for bards! Just insert a different three-syllable place name.

[Ravens_cry]

Hah, I could do this all day.

I'm sure you could, but are those even Limerick's?

[Weirdlet]

Those are quatrains- strictly speaking, limericks are a five line stanza with the rhyme-scheme AABBA.

[Shadowknight12]

I'm sure you could, but are those even Limerick's?

Oh my, I looked it up and apparently they have a very specific definition. Five verses, specific rhyming scheme... THEY ARE NOT LIMERICKS AT ALL. Oh the shame. The painful, scornful shame.

Ah well, I leave them there in case they're humorous enough to be picked anyway.

You learn something new every day!

[Funky Goose]

Here's one for you

A Fighter a Mage and a Bard
Found adventure to be rather hard,
And when faced with the ease
Of skill gained using cheese,
They found their experiance marred

[Ravens_cry]

Swords, thunder and blood,
The Fighters brain's a dud,
He's really quite thick,
Does but one trick,
But it'll leave you in the mud

[Fiery Diamond]

Taken from the show Blazing Dragons, by way of the Unemployed Wandering Minstrel-

I once had a job but it's gone
'twas nothing that I had done wrong
Camelhot let me go
here to wander the road
now no one can hear my sad song

Perfect for bards! Just insert a different three-syllable place name.

Here's one for you

A Fighter a Mage and a Bard
Found adventure to be rather hard,
And when faced with the ease
Of skill gained using cheese,
They found their experiance marred

Oooh, those two are good. The rhythm is perfect. I suspect it's because I think 8,8,6,6,8 syllables is one of the best syllable schemes for limericks. At any rate, making lines 1, 2, and 5 have the same number of syllables and lines 3 and 4 have the same number of syllables of works the best. I don't really like the example limerick on Wikipedia because it doesn't follow that guideline.

On that note, can anyone decode Wikipedia's definition of how a limerick is structured into something people without poetry knowledge can understand?

Poem tax:

There was a knight shining in armor
Who told the girl's dad, "I won't 'arm 'er."
They then ran away,
Foul creatures to slay,
With fists, for she was quite a charmer.

Bad, terrible, out of nowhere pun. I apologize.

[Fiery Diamond]

Let's go with a "classic":

As great as Monty Python references are, that is neither a limerick nor just a poem, that's a song. The lyrics to a song, anyway. And yes, I know that lyrics divorced from music can be considered poems, but why would you divorce it from its music?

EDIT: What the? The post I was quoting vanished entirely while I was posting!

[Funky Goose]

Look not at the orb full of eyes
'Less your gaze be met with your demise;
Unimpressed by your might,
The Eye-tyrants sight
Causes pain of considerable size.

Beholders, Yo

Oooh, those two are good. The rhythm is perfect. I suspect it's because I think 8,8,6,6,8 syllables is one of the best syllable schemes for limericks. At any rate, making lines 1, 2, and 5 have the same number of syllables and lines 3 and 4 have the same number of syllables of works the best. I don't really like the example limerick on Wikipedia because it doesn't follow that guideline.

On that note, can anyone decode Wikipedia's definition of how a limerick is structured into something people without poetry knowledge can understand?

Just to say, limericks are not based on syllables, rather Stresses on words, It should go something like:

de DAH de de DAH de de DAH
de DAH de de DAH de de DAH
de DAH de de DAH
de DAH de de DAH
de DAH de de de de de DAH

The number of sylables in each does not matter as such, as long as this base structure and the AABBA rhyming pattern is preserved

[Anderlith]

There once was a pow'rful wizard
Who had a Familiar green lizard
They left their home
The world they'll roam
Till they froze in'a big ol' blizzard
(whilst casting buffs like endure elements or something)

Also I'd like to point you towards a tavern song in "The Deathgate Cycle" it's called "Bonnie Earl"

[Fiery Diamond]

Look not at the orb full of eyes
'Less your gaze be met with your demise;
Unimpressed by your might,
The Eye-tyrants sight
Causes pain of considerable size.

Beholders, Yo



Just to say, limericks are not based on syllables, rather Stresses on words, It should go something like:

de DAH de de DAH de de DAH
de DAH de de DAH de de DAH
de DAH de de DAH
de DAH de de DAH
de DAH de de de de de DAH

The number of sylables in each does not matter as such, as long as this base structure and the AABBA rhyming pattern is preserved

While this is true, if you have mismatching lines in terms of syllables, it messes up the rhythm. This first, second, and last lines should have the same number of syllables and the third and fourth should have the same number of syllables or it sounds off. Also, I think limericks with a huge difference in number of syllables between the two sets of lines (1,2,5 and 3,4), say the longer ones have double the syllables of the shorter or more, sound weird.

Also, according to Wikipedia at least, the fifth line should match the first and second in terms of number of stresses.

[Elemental]

While this is true, if you have mismatching lines in terms of syllables, it messes up the rhythm. This first, second, and last lines should have the same number of syllables and the third and fourth should have the same number of syllables or it sounds off. Also, I think limericks with a huge difference in number of syllables between the two sets of lines (1,2,5 and 3,4), say the longer ones have double the syllables of the shorter or more, sound weird.

Also, according to Wikipedia at least, the fifth line should match the first and second in terms of number of stresses.

This is true. The syllables kind of have to match. However, limericks aren't really intended as a highly formal verse structure, so you get some leeway provided the rhythm doesn't die.

[Ravens_cry]

I think it spurious .
Just getting furious,
At getting so "wrong",
A silly five line song,
It makes me rather curious,

[Elemental]

They're shockingly hard, aren't they?

[Ravens_cry]

They're shockingly hard, aren't they?

Only if you take them too seriously.

[UserClone]

There was a barbarian called Gurk,
Who, realizing raiding was work,
threw down his axes
and learned to do taxes,
And now collects fees with a smirk!

EDIT: That's not hard at all. That was maybe two minutes of thought.

[UserClone]

So I went to the Friendly Arm Inn,
right after my mentor'd had been
poked through and sliced
and gutted and diced,
and I was almost immediately done in.

The above is an homage to my limited experience in Baldur's Gate. Seriously, what's with that friggin' mage? He DESTROYED my party.

[Studoku]

I was an adventurer, see,
Until one day I chose not to flee,
From a man with a bow,
Now I thought you should know,
I took an arrow to the knee.

[UserClone]

I was an adventurer, see,
Until one day I chose not to flee,
From a man with a bow,
Now I thought you should know,
I took an arrow to the knee.

[/thread]whitetext

[Zale]

I was an adventurer, see,
Until one day I chose not to flee,
From a man with a bow,
Now I thought you should know,
I took an arrow to the knee.

[Ravens_cry]

Many expletives would be redacted,
Or many forum rules infracted,
At least a little scream,
At that accursed meme,
How arrow and knees impacted.

[Jeff the Green]

Just to say, limericks are not based on syllables, rather Stresses on words, It should go something like:

de DAH de de DAH de de DAH
de DAH de de DAH de de DAH
de DAH de de DAH
de DAH de de DAH
de DAH de de de de de DAH

The number of sylables in each does not matter as such, as long as this base structure and the AABBA rhyming pattern is preserved

It's even more specific than that. It's about the feet.

Amphibrach amphibrach iamb
Amphibrach amphibrach iamb
Amphibrach iamb
Amphibrach iamb
Amphibrach amphibrach iamb

If the stressed syllables are grouped incorrectly it sounds wrong just as if the stresses were wrong.

/pedantry

There once was a lich from Xen'drik
Who poked the tarrasque with a stick
T ate him, of course
Along with his horse
(The undead are really quite thick)

[Funky Goose]

I was an adventurer, see,
Until one day I chose not to flee,
From a man with a bow,
Now I thought you should know,
I took an arrow to the knee.

~Act II~

So now I am stuck in this hole,
As a gaurd with a boring patrol...
But I've a bigger crime
To look into this time,
So go find your own damn sweetroll!