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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Default Error 418: I'm a Teapot

    I'm generating a table of mishaps.

    Specifically, the table is for a warforged wizard with 5% spell failure. He requested, as a custom flaw, to have a mishap happen every time he lost a spell from ASF.

    Fun ideas?

    Edit: Finished the table, though might continue to edit it.
    Last edited by begooler; 2012-05-16 at 12:41 AM.

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Marlowe's Avatar

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    Default Re: Error 418: I'm a Teapot

    No. 47 - Caster is dazed for 1 round, during which he begins singing the works of Emily Dickenson to the tune of "The Yellow Rose of Texas".

  3. - Top - End - #3
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Zombie

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    Default Re: Error 418: I'm a Teapot

    percentile or what?


    Oh and:
    1: Your armour is hopping away! Well, the bunnies that WERE your armour. Lose all armour bonus for 3 rounds
    2: You summoned the tarrasque! RUN! Run for 2 rounds in a random direction before realizing it's an illusion. No save, beats True Seeing
    <-- Give the zombie a hug. You know you want too. It's so lonely.

    I have quit Giantitp. I may be back but not anytime soon
    Sorry everyone

  4. - Top - End - #4
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Fredaintdead's Avatar

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    Default Re: Error 418: I'm a Teapot

    No. 68 - Caster is sickened for 1 round, then begins to make innuendos at nearby inanimate objects.

    No. 85 - Caster suddenly finds themselves facing the opposite direction, at which point arcane sparks fly from their fingers, dealing damage to the caster and all within 20ft of the caster equal to 1d4 per spell level of the spell last, all while singing random Coldplay songs.
    *just had the hilarious image of the Warforged turning around suddenly, shooting off sparks while calmly singing Fix You*
    Avatar by Miss Nobody
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anuan
    Yes, but that's Fred. He radiates awesomeness.
    Quote Originally Posted by Bhu View Post
    I like Fred. I shall make him an honorary Pimpsquatch.
    Quote Originally Posted by A Rainy Knight View Post
    I love Fred because he returned from the dead in a form that doesn't hunger for the flesh of the living! Also, he's a nice guy.
    Quote Originally Posted by MageOfCakes View Post
    You're chibi and that's awesome. n_n

  5. - Top - End - #5
    Dwarf in the Playground
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    Default Re: Error 418: I'm a Teapot

    #42 - stunned for 1 round as you ponder the meaning of life, the universe, and everything

  6. - Top - End - #6
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Marlowe's Avatar

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    Default Re: Error 418: I'm a Teapot

    No. 37-Caster is instantaneous planeshifted to the Plane of Shadow for 1-4 rounds, reappearing in the same square wearing a really dark and edgy T-shirt.

  7. - Top - End - #7
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    HalfOrcPirate

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    Default Re: Error 418: I'm a Teapot

    #3- You summon a swordfish and believe it to be an arcane relic of tremendous power called Ferdinand.
    #4- You see through the 4th wall for 2 rounds during which time you must scream in character "All I amount to is paper, ink, and imagination!? What kind of sick people are you for doing this to us???" Afterwards you forget the entire experience.

  8. - Top - End - #8
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    RangerGuy

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    Default Re: Error 418: I'm a Teapot

    #3.141592653589793221384.......
    you begin reciting in charecter the digits of pi. save ends. bonus points if you realize that in D&D pi=4 (a fireball with a radius of 1 affects an area of circumfrence 8. Circumfrence=2piR=2xpix1 8=2xpix1 pi=4)

    #e
    instead of whatever you were trying to do, a large amount of logs appear. completely normal, natural logs.

    #e^ipi
    you become a mirror image of yourself.
    Warning!! This poster makes frequent use of Sarcasm, Jokes, and Exaggeration. He intends no offense.

  9. - Top - End - #9
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Maxios's Avatar

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    Default Re: Error 418: I'm a Teapot

    Quote Originally Posted by eulmanis12 View Post
    D&D pi=4 (a fireball with a radius of 1 affects an area of circumfrence 8. Circumfrence=2piR=2xpix1 8=2xpix1 pi=4)
    My mind has just been blown.
    Artifical intelligence is no match for natural stupidity
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rogerd View Post
    Strike me down and I'll clean the floor faster than you can imagine

  10. - Top - End - #10
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Gorgondantess's Avatar

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    Default Re: Error 418: I'm a Teapot

    Quote Originally Posted by Gravitron5000 View Post
    #42 - stunned for 1 round as you realize the meaning of life, the universe, and everything
    , which you promptly forget.
    Marceline Abadeer by Gnomish Wanderer

  11. - Top - End - #11
    Titan in the Playground
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    Default Re: Error 418: I'm a Teapot

    A lich appears in front of you. He looks around and says, "Dammit, is somebody using this table again?" In the next round he casts Teleport and disappears.

    A giant green cloud of gas envelops your enemies. They don't appear damaged. They do appear annoyed.

    Every piece of iron, steel or other hard metal within thirty feet of you turns to gold. They might be valuable, but they are lousy tools. Stabbing weapons don't work; mass weapons are at -5 for the first attack, -10 and the second, and useless from then on. Armor is at half value twice, then useless. Movement of any combatant in chain is halved. People in full plate cannot move.

    Mass Cure Medium Wounds. Everyone within 300 feet, on either side, is now healed.

    300 rats appear, and fight on your side.

    Accidental Phantasmal Force. You spell appears to work as intended. (It's an illusion, affecting only the caster.).

    All buff spells end.

    Each person within 30 yards must make a Will Save. Anyone who fails rises twenty feet in the air. (This is great for spellcasters and archers, horrible for melee fighters.) If a rider saves and his horse fails, the horse rises; she had better hold on.

    The spell appears to do nothing. (DO NOT read the rest to the players: there is now a floating Wish spell, waiting for anybody to use. Listen carefully for somebody to say "I wish...")

    A ten-foot wide hole opens up twenty feet in front of you. You cannot see the bottom.

  12. - Top - End - #12
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    TurtleKing's Avatar

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    Default Re: Error 418: I'm a Teapot

    #34: [Rated M] You now have an...exotic...image(s) as Silent Image of the intended recipient(s) of the spell.

    Edit: For Mature Groups Only.
    Last edited by TurtleKing; 2012-04-27 at 01:21 PM.
    Thanks to my cancer looking at one to two months left to live. Prayers are always welcome and have fun.

    Live like your dying because today could be your last day.

    I do have access to my laptop so can be on more often until my time is up. I do plan on making the most of it without investing into any long-term pbp.

  13. - Top - End - #13
    Banned
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    Default Re: Error 418: I'm a Teapot

    Don't forget your classics! Change gender, hair color, clothing, hieght, shape, and species of you and everyone around you! so much fun just to randomly spout things off the top of your head.(or off the cursed item effects)

    You could turn him into a flesh non construct being for a bit. He can realize what its like to be a real boy!(and not have his spells explode in his face)

    Don't just let the spell fizzle, it was just delayed! Fizzle lightning bolt one turn, aim it at the guy he cast fireball at next!

    Change the subtype of a spell, Fireball > Lightball! etc.

    So many ideas... So many ideas! but all most of mine are rather random, but that just happens to be what I like. Those are the basics though.

  14. - Top - End - #14
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Planetar

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    Default Re: Error 418: I'm a Teapot

    404: Page Not Found.

    You receive information that the scrying spell was unable to locate the knight in training. (Alternatively, for 1d4 days, a random page from your spellbook is missing)
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  15. - Top - End - #15
    Titan in the Playground
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    Default Re: Error 418: I'm a Teapot

    For one day, he is compelled to talk like HK-47.

  16. - Top - End - #16
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Marlowe's Avatar

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    Default Re: Error 418: I'm a Teapot

    No. 13 - Caster is instantly annihilated and replaced by an identical character with the same attributes, skills, feats, status, personality, equipment, and appearance.

  17. - Top - End - #17
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    ClericGuy

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    Default Re: Error 418: I'm a Teapot

    I prefer things that are interesting, though not necessarily harmful. Having your spell fizzle already sucks enough. Having combat penalties heaped on top of that is just adding salt to the wound. I'd do things more like these...

    Flavor of the week. Yourself and all creatures within 20 feet of you suddenly have the taste of cornbread in your mouths. Anything and everything you consume tastes exactly like cornbread. This effect gradually diminishes over the next week.

    The all-powerful whizz-ard. A random target within 50 feet urinates him/herself. They do not realize your are the cause. Can put a little damper in those social situations, I'd imagine.

    Pennies from heaven. A 20' by 20' area around you rains copper coins. This rain lasts for 5 rounds, dropping about 100 gp in all. Imagine the chaos if summoned up in a busy marketplace. If you're worried about giving out that kind of cash to you players (mostly at lower levels) you can always make the coins disappear after 5 minutes.

    Feeling a little squirrelly. The air around you fills with small chirps and chattering, which is normally only a minor annoyance. However, during mating season many small mammals mistake this for a mating call. This can lead to awkward situations.

    Nothing appears to happen. At least for the next ten minutes. Everywhere you have stepped since the spell mishap leaves a glowing footprint behind that lasts for 24 hours. The glowing footprints take about 10 minutes to appear. Depending on the situation, it may take quite some time before the caster realizes what is happening. Who knows who or what might choose to follow the glowing tracks.

    A weighty situation. Gravity becomes a little stronger in the local area. Add 10% to the weight of all items within 10 feet of the caster (but not those within extradimensional spaces). Not a problem unless they are the type to squeeze right up against their encumberance limits.

    Strange brew. Choose the closest two potions to the caster (roll randomly if equally close). The magic in these potions co-mingle. When someone drinks either of them they get the effects of having consumed both of them. However, the effects are somehow diminished if possible. (For example a potion of healing and a potion of invisibility might give half the healing and half the duration of invisibility.)

  18. - Top - End - #18
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Error 418: I'm a Teapot

    Look up D&D 2E Wild Magic/Wild Surge charts, like this one.
    Quote Originally Posted by GPuzzle View Post
    And I do agree that the right answer to the magic/mundane problem is to make everyone badass.
    Quote Originally Posted by Flickerdart View Post
    If you're of a philosophical bent, the powergamer is a great example of Heidegger's modern technological man, who treats a game's mechanics as a standing reserve of undifferentiated resources that are to be used for his goals.
    My Complete Tome of Battle Maneuver/Stance/Class Overhaul

    Arseplomancy = Fanatic Tarrasque!

  19. - Top - End - #19
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Dingle's Avatar

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    Default Re: Error 418: I'm a Teapot

    it'd probably be worth having a set of new targets.
    including, but not limited to:
    caster, nearest possible target, farthest possible target, closest ally, closest enemy, switch from single target to area or vice versa
    GENERATION ([-0.051730 + (-0.674245 + 1.206612 c) i - 1.117584 c + c^2] + c)^2 + c. If this is the first time you see this copy it into your signature, square the generation and add c. Fractal experiment.

    Though noone was gonna pick it up, eh?

    Squaring that lot is going to take a while.

  20. - Top - End - #20
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Draconi Redfir's Avatar

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    Default Re: Error 418: I'm a Teapot

    413: You believe yourself to be a young human boy standing in his room. What is your name?

    612: You believe yourself to be an angry gray-skinned alien boy with small nubby orange honrs. You are standing in your room. What is your name?

    1025: You explode in a massive detonation, leaving behind a large green star twice your original mass. Any allies that may have been caught in the blast emerge from the star unharmed, and in fact more powerful then before, gaining DR 10/law or chaos.

    111,111: you instantly change to a random class, loosing all benefits of your old class, and gaining all the benefits of your new. Your name, gender, race, and ability scores stay the same. Alignment may change according to the demands of the new class.
    Avy by Thormag
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  21. - Top - End - #21
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    GnomeWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Error 418: I'm a Teapot

    I see what you did there draconi

    Error 87 you believe yourself to be a zucchini
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    Yohalles, the Wanderer
    Lonel, Gentleman Luck
    Jongo, God of Sea-Life

  22. - Top - End - #22
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Flumph

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    Default Re: Error 418: I'm a Teapot

    Error 218: A very dense 10x10ft swarm of butterflies flies out of your mouth (and eye-holes if applicable), providing an effect identical to Obscuring Mist. It flies 1d6x5ft in a random direction (roll d8 to determine) each round on your turn, for one round per caster level.


    Error 219: Your spell (if 3rd level or higher) is now Fireball, cast at the same target, using the same caster level and save DC of the spell you intended to cast.


    Error 220: Your failed spell creates an explosion of feces, leaving a 15x15ft square centered on you, and all creatures within, covered in the nasty stuff, imposing a -4 on charisma-based checks (Reflex to reduce the penalty to -2 and only be half-covered), and the area is affected as though by Grease, for one minute per caster level.

  23. - Top - End - #23
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Vinyadan's Avatar

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    Default Re: Error 418: I'm a Teapot

    Error: An unknown force slaps you in the face with a rainbow trout.

    Error: You feel a moment of inscapable doom!

    Error: You can see the Ethereal Plane for the next 5 rounds.
    Quote Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien, 1955
    I thought Tom Bombadil dreadful but worse still was the announcer's preliminary remarks that Goldberry was his daughter (!), and that Willowman was an ally of Mordor (!!).

  24. - Top - End - #24
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Kobold-Bard's Avatar

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    Default Re: Error 418: I'm a Teapot

    Quote Originally Posted by Dingle View Post
    it'd probably be worth having a set of new targets.
    including, but not limited to:
    caster, nearest possible target, farthest possible target, closest ally, closest enemy, switch from single target to area or vice versa
    Re: bold - so if you're in a spherical game world it hits the person as close to the opposite side of the world to you, and if you're in a flat world the people who live near the edge live in constant fear of random spell effects bombarding them from careless Warforged mages?
    Piratebold-Bard by Elder Tsofu | Backer #121 of the Giantitp Kickstarter | My homebrew
    Quote Originally Posted by OverlordJ View Post
    New law: Obey me or you'll be crushed by a MOUNTAIN.

  25. - Top - End - #25
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Flumph

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    Default Re: Error 418: I'm a Teapot

    Quote Originally Posted by Kobold-Bard View Post
    Re: bold - so if you're in a spherical game world it hits the person as close to the opposite side of the world to you, and if you're in a flat world the people who live near the edge live in constant fear of random spell effects bombarding them from careless Warforged mages?
    Farthest Possible Target would mean you target a randomly-determined Elder Evil. Of course, most spells have a maximum range, and also need to worry about line of sight/effect/etc.

  26. - Top - End - #26
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    docnessuno's Avatar

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    Default Re: Error 418: I'm a Teapot

    Quote Originally Posted by Fayd View Post
    404: Page Not Found.

    You receive information that the scrying spell was unable to locate the knight in training. (Alternatively, for 1d4 days, a random page from your spellbook is missing)
    Best mishap ever for a warforged (emphasis mine)

  27. - Top - End - #27
    Eldritch Horror in the Playground Moderator
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    Default Re: Error 418: I'm a Teapot

    I'd make it the page that the spell you miscast was written on, but otherwise it's hilarious.
    Quote Originally Posted by Red Fel, on quest rewards View Post
    "Is a stack of ten pancakes too many pancakes to give to the party, even if most of them fell on the floor and one or two were stepped on? I wanted to give my party pancakes as a reward but I'm unsure if it's too much. The pancakes are also laced with blowfish poison so the party would have to get an antitoxin before they could eat the ones which weren't pulverized by shoes."

    I don't think anyone would want those pancakes even if you paid them to eat them.

  28. - Top - End - #28
    Titan in the Playground
     
    nedz's Avatar

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    Default Re: Error 418: I'm a Teapot

    No. 1 - You appear to have turned into a Larch.
    π = 4
    Consider a 5' radius blast: this affects 4 squares which have a circumference of 40' Actually it's worse than that.


    Completely Dysfunctional Handbook
    Warped Druid Handbook

    Avatar by Caravaggio

  29. - Top - End - #29
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Flumph

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    Default Re: Error 418: I'm a Teapot

    * Spontaneous Generation: The spell turns into a Living Spell (ECS, I think), regardless of whether it would normally qualify. It's not under your control.
    * Spontaneous Swarm: Pick a 1st level spell or cantrip from the same school - 1d4*(spell level) living spells of that are created (not under your control).
    * Time Bomb I: Nothing happens. The next time a mishap happens, this spell gets cast instead of whatever was being cast, but with the same targets (as much as applicable).
    * Time Bomb II: Nothing happens. The next time you prepare spells, half of them are converted to this spell.
    * Time Bomb III: Nothing happens. The next time you try to cast this spell, it automatically fails and you get a triple mishap.
    Last edited by icefractal; 2012-04-29 at 07:33 PM.

  30. - Top - End - #30
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Planetar

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    Default Re: Error 418: I'm a Teapot

    Quote Originally Posted by The Glyphstone View Post
    I'd make it the page that the spell you miscast was written on, but otherwise it's hilarious.
    I formally change my suggestion to this.
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