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2012-08-29, 11:12 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2009
Helping writing a player's vision quest
Hello playgrounders.
So in an upcoming game I have a player that wants to be play the big dumb, but extremely good looking barbarian. In her background she described how her character was so dumb, it was making the tribe look bad, so on her birthday the tribe fortune teller / mystic proclaimed he had a vision. What I have so far is:
"You must slay the ferocious Felix Domes. In my vision I saw….well he can only be described as a creature; no a rabbid beast! He is covered in hair, has slits for eyes and 2 bat like ears. Don’t be fooled by his small size or comical appearance, it hides his piercing fangs and sharp deadly claws that are capable of disemboweling a commoner. You must slay the ferocious Felix Domes!!"
What I'm trying to do is make the creatures description so over the top that it sounds made up (which the character won't realize) just as a way to get rid of the character (and explain why she is adventuring). I kind of want the players themselves to think this is all made up, when in reality it is describing the BBEG's pet/familiar cat (IE Felis domesticus aka Felix) who he turned into his phylactery.
So if anyone can help me extend my little rough write up would be appreciated.
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2012-08-30, 12:25 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2012
- Location
- Aatos
- Gender
Re: Helping writing a player's vision quest
I now direct you to the killer bunny from monty python. Have a nice day.
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2012-08-30, 01:47 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2012
- Location
- *Redacted*
Re: Helping writing a player's vision quest
This.
Your description is not over the top enough. Try to think of traits of cats, and then find a synonym which has a negative connotation and use it. Maybe exaggerate a few features (size of fangs, ears, tail, eyes) and add some more which are just all together lies.Last edited by BootStrapTommy; 2012-08-30 at 01:48 AM.
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2012-08-30, 03:49 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2008
- Location
- Israel
- Gender
Re: Helping writing a player's vision quest
how about things like:
It's fur as black as night, as slick as oil, betraying the true darkness in it's foul wretched heart! It's eyes but slits through which evil looks, gleaming in the night like fallen angels to their demise. It's roar is deceptive as well- as it might sounds like a soothing tempting beseeching call, dulling your senses and perceptions, making one see it for less than it is... before it strikes! Though small in size it is great in presence, for all will notice it's majesty and gandeur as it enters a place, commanding obedience and subservience. Unless it seeks to be stealthy, and then not a sound, not a sight, It's lithe stalking predatory form more fleeting than a shadow... You shall know it when it licks it's bloody claws, looking for it's next victim, Which shall be you! Unless you prove worthy enough!"
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2012-08-31, 05:01 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2011
Re: Helping writing a player's vision quest
So are you going for actually badass stuff that sounds like it's made up but is actually true about the cat, like "He feasts on the souls of children and commands an infinite army of demons!"
Or actually mundane and normal stuff that's just made to sound badass like "He has the power to instantly compel anyone who comes near to serve him by turning them into incoherent, babbling idiots!" (Aww, who's a cute little kitty!?)
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2012-08-31, 10:07 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2009
Re: Helping writing a player's vision quest
I'm kind of trying for a mixture of the two. I imagine the fortune teller had a real vision of the player and the cat fighting to the death; but, he didn't realize just how important it is and is using the vision as a way to get rid of the players character. So he is describing the cat to her in a way that is really over the top (while being truthful on the attributes of the cat) to make it harder to find the cat. I just want to make that over the topness make it seem like this creature can't possible really exist (to the players).
Think kind of when people are around a camp fire and you keep getting an "oh oh he also had claws the size of daggers, easily able to disembowel a peasant" added to the monster in the story until you're sure such a creature can't possible exists.
I did like a lot of what Kol Korran posted :D cheers
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2012-08-31, 07:52 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2010
Re: Helping writing a player's vision quest
A terrible monster of darkness, its fur stained the color of night.
Beware! Though by day the horror takes an innocent form, harden your heart and do the deed. Do not hesitate.
It pounces, and looses terrible shrieks, tearing even the mightiest of warriors asunder in its wrath!
Strange sideways eyes pierce the void of shadows, and gaze into weird, bizarre worlds we can't comprehend. It stares without feeling, even as it dismembers its victims before the feast. Its gleeful purr betrays its alien nature.
Stalking in silence, great claws rend unseen from the shadows, and rip flesh from bone in hellish bloody agony!
Its nest lies in [location], where its progeny torture the still-living victims for their horrible feast. Destroy them, and save the land from the tyranny of the monster's heirs.Last edited by Slipperychicken; 2012-08-31 at 07:56 PM.
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2012-08-31, 11:09 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2010
- Gender
Re: Helping writing a player's vision quest
Having a cat in the room right now, I will endeavor not to mention anything about stepping on keyboards mid-sentence anywhere in the following description.
Fear and woe upon our people! The spirits have come unto me with a vision! You, [character], must go forth and seek to slay a monster most ferocious! You shall know this beast first by its call-- the moans of a man who holds his dying love in his arms, but with the cackling of the dread raven's mockery. Fear, however, that it does not let loose its call, as from this you shall know that you have been marked for death. This beast is a stealth-hunter, and could slice deep through the flesh of men with merely an afterthought! Its gaping maw is filled to the throat with piercing fangs, which it brings to bear with greatest speed. Lo, even the cursed beast's tongue is an implement of pain! The abomination toys with those it would kill, cutting and prodding until its macabre dance can be bore by the victim no more. A most wretched death is guaranteed all those who are seen in the beast's snake-eyes. Its sleek fur and rounded form endeavors to hide these tools, but the ears! Look to the ears, young [character]! You shall know your foe by its ears! Pointed they be, like the horns of some demon! Though closed mouth and hidden claw may deceive, the creature's ears will speak the intention: alert, they search for prey-- in the pounce they are swept aft! Know your enemy, [character]. Others will dismiss the thing known as Felix Domes, but you must remain vigilant: this shall be our last and only hope!
Sorry for the exclamation points. The shaman-dude was yelling all of this in my head in his best proclamation-of-great-gravity impression.