Mercenary Pen's Meticulously Planned Machine of Prose Random Banter #182

[HalfTangible]

I can. But I'm certifiably strange.

Ditto.

Now should i type my next post about the ascending raccoon mutant god, the songfighting pegasus with a metal wing that farts lightning at Elder God knock-offs, the bloddy shadowbeast that takes after ghost rider, the doctor and occasionally monty python, or even that mutant pony marewhore bodyguard with beserk-button sunglasses?

EDIT: Also, I'm apparently a better storyteller than I thought I was. In the last... oh, two, three months, I've received... roughly five or six compliments on the things I've written here on the boards.

[AtlanteanTroll]

Beer and Cheeze-Its do not go together well. Also, on a related note, I had some Cheeze-Its in one hand and my ear buds in the other. And I tried to put the Cheeze-Its in my ear. Man. I was really confused as to why the damn Cheeze-Its weren't playing my music.

[Tragic_Comedian]

Beer and Cheeze-Its do not go together well. Also, on a related note, I had some Cheeze-Its in one hand and my ear buds in the other. And I tried to put the Cheeze-Its in my ear. Man. I was really confused as to why the damn Cheeze-Its weren't playing my music.

It was the beer that did it.

I was told Cheez-Its cure hangovers.

[Elemental]

Ditto.

Now should i type my next post about the ascending raccoon mutant god, the songfighting pegasus with a metal wing that farts lightning at Elder God knock-offs, the bloddy shadowbeast that takes after ghost rider, the doctor and occasionally monty python, or even that mutant pony marewhore bodyguard with beserk-button sunglasses?

EDIT: Also, I'm apparently a better storyteller than I thought I was. In the last... oh, two, three months, I've received... roughly five or six compliments on the things I've written here on the boards.

Now I am really confused... But then, not everything has to make sense straight away.
And yes. You are very good at the whole storytelling thing. Much better than I am.

Beer and Cheeze-Its do not go together well. Also, on a related note, I had some Cheeze-Its in one hand and my ear buds in the other. And I tried to put the Cheeze-Its in my ear. Man. I was really confused as to why the damn Cheeze-Its weren't playing my music.

I think you'd be even more confused if the Cheeze-Its were playing your music.
Also, I can't see your avatar for some reason...

[Serpentine]

Euuuurrrrrrrgh. This job application is taking so LONG, and we all know I'm not gonna get it anyway DX

[Mutant Sheep]

Beer and Cheeze-Its do not go together well. Also, on a related note, I had some Cheeze-Its in one hand and my ear buds in the other. And I tried to put the Cheeze-Its in my ear. Man. I was really confused as to why the damn Cheeze-Its weren't playing my music.

I do that alot, but not with earbuds. Literally any cylinderical thing on a table, I confuse for my drink. I drink cheese. I pour water on my gnocchi. I chug salt and put a pinch of Pepsi on my fries.

[AtlanteanTroll]

It was the beer that did it.

I was told Cheez-Its cure hangovers.

Nah. I wasn't even tipsy. It was the least amount of beer I've ever had.

They're got a decent after taste together.

I think you'd be even more confused if the Cheeze-Its were playing your music.
Also, I can't see your avatar for some reason...

Probably.

Huh. I can't either, now that you mention it. Should probably get that fixed...

I do that alot, but not with earbuds. Literally any cylinderical thing on a table, I confuse for my drink. I drink cheese. I pour water on my gnocchi. I chug salt and put a pinch of Pepsi on my fries.

Yeah. I've done that. When I was little I started to drink some grated pasta cheese and pour my milk all over the pasta. Don't know why I remember that.

[HalfTangible]

Euuuurrrrrrrgh. This job application is taking so LONG, and we all know I'm not gonna get it anyway DX

You're not trying to get a job from yourself, why would you mail it to yourself?

(Look. even if you don't get THIS job, you can look for the next one and possibly reuse the application, depending on the form it takes. I spent over a year and a half (maybe longer) trying to get a job at a grocery store and i never got a call back. So i tried Kroger's instead. Got it in a few months.)

Now I am really confused... But then, not everything has to make sense straight away.

Those are short descriptions of actual characters i roleplay on the boards. One of them is the Doctor, actually.

And yes. You are very good at the whole storytelling thing. Much better than I am.

[MoonCat]

I once up-ended an entire glass of milk into my salad. This was about five minutes after I had gotten my entire family to laugh themselves silly because I'd just tried to sip the salt-shaker.

[Serpentine]

Yeah. I've done that. When I was little I started to drink some grated pasta cheese and pour my milk all over the pasta. Don't know why I remember that.

Poured juice on my cereal once, and mistook salt for sugar another time.

(Look. even if you don't get THIS job, you can look for the next one and possibly reuse the application, depending on the form it takes. I spent over a year and a half (maybe longer) trying to get a job at a grocery store and i never got a call back. So i tried Kroger's instead. Got it in a few months.)

It's an online form. A really LONG online form. It's gonna get tossed off into the datastream and lost forever -.-

...on the other hand, they're pretty comprehensive questions, and I think my answers are alright. Maybe I should save them.

[AtlanteanTroll]

I once up-ended an entire glass of milk into my salad. This was about five minutes after I had gotten my entire family to laugh themselves silly because I'd just tried to sip the salt-shaker.

That's pretty fun. It also for some reason reminds me of this time when I was hanging out with the rest of the Trivia Team in the Chem room and started singing I Am Cow. Made chocolate milk come out of this one girl's nose twice. It was unfortunate, to say the least.

[Mutant Sheep]

I once up-ended an entire glass of milk into my salad. This was about five minutes after I had gotten my entire family to laugh themselves silly because I'd just tried to sip the salt-shaker.

I catch myself before dumping the WHOLE glass, but other than that, I've done the same exact thing many times.

That's pretty fun. It also for some reason reminds me of this time when I was hanging out with the rest of the Trivia Team in the Chem room and started singing I Am Cow. Made chocolate milk come out of this one girl's nose twice. It was unfortunate, to say the least.

I have never made milk come out of my nose. I believe this is due to me not drinking much milk.

ION: Y U NO ON AIM!

[MoonCat]

I once had a baby carrot come out of my nose because I laughed when eating it.

It hurt!

[HalfTangible]

I once had a baby carrot come out of my nose because I laughed when eating it.

It hurt!

O.o

I've heard of milkshakes coming out of a person's nose but... seriously?!

[Mutant Sheep]

I once had a baby carrot come out of my nose because I laughed when eating it.

It hurt!

mixed with both and is the only thing I can ATTEMPT to say.

[Coidzor]

I once had a baby carrot come out of my nose because I laughed when eating it.

It hurt!

Huh. Generally you're supposed to chew those. I'm honestly rather surprised it managed to fit though.

[AtlanteanTroll]

I've had a chewed up bit of a sandwich and some pizza cheese come out my nose ... Carrot sounds terrible though.

[MoonCat]

O.o

I've heard of milkshakes coming out of a person's nose but... seriously?!

Yes, seriously. It's actually something I remember vividly, mainly because of the pain.

mixed with both and is the only thing I can ATTEMPT to say.

Yeah, I couldn't come to terms with it for years afterwards.

Huh. Generally you're supposed to chew those. I'm honestly rather surprised it managed to fit though.

I... have a big nose? I guess? I dunno!

I've had a chewed up bit of a sandwich and some pizza cheese come out my nose ... Carrot sounds terrible though.

Ouch man. Was the cheese stringy?

[AtlanteanTroll]

Ouch man. Was the cheese stringy?

It was hot pizza cheese. So yeah, a bit. Sort of surprised I didn't scald my nasal cavity ... That would've been a fun story to tell. xD

[Mutant Sheep]

It was hot pizza cheese. So yeah, a bit. Sort of surprised I didn't scald my nasal cavity ... That would've been a fun story to tell. xD

... Scald your inner nose. Yes. That sounds like a story indeed.

[AtlanteanTroll]

... Scald your inner nose. Yes. That sounds like a story indeed.

I mean ... The act itself would be Hell, but looking back on it would be pretty great.

[MoonCat]

It was hot pizza cheese. So yeah, a bit. Sort of surprised I didn't scald my nasal cavity ... That would've been a fun story to tell. xD

Ouuuch.

... Scald your inner nose. Yes. That sounds like a story indeed.

I have sooo many stories about me doing dumb stuff.

I mean ... The act itself would be Hell, but looking back on it would be pretty great.

Humor is tragedy plus time. For example the night I nearly froze to death at a hot springs in April. In a tent. With fifteen other people. On a school trip.

[HalfTangible]

Humor is tragedy plus time. For example the night I nearly froze to death at a hot springs in April. In a tent. With fifteen other people. On a school trip.

I thought it was tragedy minus empathy

[MoonCat]

I thought it was tragedy minus empathy

In that case, I'd never find anything funny. (You know Little Britain? I cried for the people from the 'Computer says no' sketches.)

[Elemental]

Those are short descriptions of actual characters i roleplay on the boards. One of them is the Doctor, actually.

I figured that might be the case, but I couldn't be certain.
Also when you describe them all like that in quick succession, it sounds like you're recounting hallucinations or a really weird dream. Hence, the confusion.

[MoonCat]

I think I need to stop doing homework at a quarter to twelve at night. It might be affecting my mood in the mornings.

Teddy, aweosme pics. Also, guys, complex hunter-gatherers were totally cool!

[Feytalist]

Aaaand I didn't get the job. Didn't even get a follow-up.

Job hunting is fun. :/

[Mynxae]

Aaaand I didn't get the job. Didn't even get a follow-up.

Job hunting is fun. :/

I feel your pain.

Also, a carrot? Really?

[Mercenary Pen]

Euuuurrrrrrrgh. This job application is taking so LONG, and we all know I'm not gonna get it anyway DX

Sounds like you've been trying here in the UK for a little too long- I thought Australia's economy was doing a little better than ours?

[Teddy]

...scrawny? You're not scrawny. And some of those later ones could be used if they ever made, like, a lumberjack pinup calendar.

I'm 188 cm long and weigh 64 kg. My BMI is 18.1, which is considered underweight, but not verily so. You can see my ribs in one of the pictures, so yes, I'd say I have the right to call myself scrawny. Anything else is just an illusion caused by thick fleece jackets.

As for your pictures, I should arrest you. Taking off that shirt is like firing off a deadly weapon. I mean this is the best way possible.

Also, you're going to love one of the pictures I'll post when I have my brothers' permission. Just saying...

Oh, and to all of you, thanks.