When a Mustache Just Isn't Enough [PrC]

[Realms of Chaos]

THE PARAGON OF BEARD


credit to Woody Hearn, Matthew L, and gucomics.com

Spoiler

Show

Source: http://www.gucomics.com/comic/?cdate=20070622

I think I've seen some webcomic stuff on demotivator threads but if it's not acceptable, let me know and I'll remove this at once.

Prerequisites:
A character must meet all of the following requirements in order to become a paragon of beard.
Race: Dwarf
Skills: Craft (Beard Braiding) 18 ranks
Special: Must possess a beard.

Hit Die: d12

CLASS SKILLS:
All skills are considered class skills for a paragon of beard. Is there anything that a good beard can’t do?
Skill Points Per Level: 4 + Int modifier

THE PARAGON OF BEARD
{table=head]Level|BAB|Fort|Ref|Will|

Special

1st|

+1

|

+2

|

+0

|

+2

|BEARDSPACE, CHINSHIELD, FEAST OF CRUMBS

2nd|

+2

|

+3

|

+0

|

+3

|ENTANGLING BEARD, STUBBLE DIVING (ROPE TRICK)

3rd|

+3

|

+3

|

+1

|

+3

|BARBED BRISTLES, BEARDCOPTER, SENTIENT BEARD

4th|

+4

|

+4

|

+1

|

+4

|COMMUNE WITH BEARD, CHARMING BEARD, STUBBLE DIVING (BEARDIVERSE)

5th|

+5

|

+4

|

+1

|

+4

|BEHOLD THE GLORY OF MY BEARD, BEARDWALK, MIRACLE BEARD[/table]

CLASS FEATURES:

Weapon and Armor Proficiencies: The Paragon of Beard gains proficiency with all forms of armor and shields (including tower shields) if he or she does not possess such proficiencies.

BEARDSPACE (Ex): A Paragon of Beard has no need for mundane storage, capable of storing whatever he or she requires within the vast recesses of his or her beard. In effect, a Paragon of Beard may carry up to 200 pounds of objects per class level within his or her beard without adding them to his or her encumbrance. These objects are not held within extradimensional space and could, theoretically, be found by anyone combing through the beard.

CHINSHIELD: At 1st level, a Paragon of the Beard is always treated as possessing a tower shield in the form of his or her own beard. This tower shield imposes none of the normal penalties and requires no hands to use. The beard cannot be sundered, rusted, or enchanted (as the might of even deific magic is incapable of adding to the power of the beard in any meaningful sense). The shield does possess an enhancement bonus, however, equal to it's owner's Constitution bonus. Finally, the beard provides its owner with a permanent Endure Elements effect (CL 20).

FEAST OF CRUMBS (Ex): A paragon of beard is never far from sustenance, having accumulated vast stores of food within their own beards. A paragon of beard may use Create Food and Water at will. Any who spend more than one round pondering the nature of water regained in this way must succeed on a Fortitude save (DC 10 + Class level) or be sickened for 1d4 rounds.

ENTANGLING BEARD (Ex): Starting at 2nd level, the beard of a paragon of beard is so tangled and twisted that it can capture creatures within its midst. Whenever a creature attacks a Paragon of Beard with a natural or unarmed attack and misses, the Paragon of Beard may immediately make an opposed grapple check against the target without spending an action or provoking attacks of opportunity. Furthermore, grappling creatures no longer inhibits the paragon of beard in any way and a paragon of beard may grapple any number of creatures at once. The beard is restricted to taking purely mental actions.

STUBBLE DIVING (Sp): At 2nd level, the beard of a paragon of beard is deep enough for one to retreat into. A paragon of beard may use Rope Trick (CL 20) at will, save that creatures enter into the paragon’s beard (allowing the entrance to move with the paragon) and that the entrance remains visible unless the paragon dives into his own beard. Starting at 4th level, this space instead functions as a genesis spell with the beard functioning as its own demiplane (CL 20), except that it is an extradimensional space only accessible through the paragon's beard rather than through the ethereal plane. While a Paragon of beard is stubble diving within his or her own beard, that beard cannot be detected by outside sources (though a true seeing effect reveals a few bristles floating in space around the entrance).

BARBED BRISTLES (Ex): At 3rd level, the facial hair of a paragon of beard is strong and sharp enough to cut through enemies. The paragon of beard effectively gains armor spikes and can make a single attack using these spikes against each grappled foe as a swift action. These armor spikes gain the same special qualities and immunities as the paragon's chinshield, including the enhancement bonus.

BEARDCOPTER (Ex): Though more comfortable on the ground like other dwarves, a paragon of beard can swing its beard in large circles to take to the air when needed. At 3rd level, a paragon of beard gains a fly speed of 60 feet (average). While flying in this way, the paragon of beard loses access to his or her chinshield, entangling beard, and barbed bristles class features.

SENTIENT BEARD (Su): At 3rd level, the beard of a paragon of beard realizes its full potential and achieves sentience, rolling 4d6 and dropping the lowest result for each mental ability score. The beard may communicate with others by controlling the bioluminescence of the moss and fungus growing within it and gains both sight and hearing, gaining a +10 bonus to spot and listen checks. Finally, the beard may use any two 1st level wizard or sorcerer spells selected when this ability is first gained at will (CL 20, DC 11 + highest mental ability score modifier). The beard is treated as an intelligent magic item for most purposes but it possesses no Ego score.

COMMUNE WITH BEARD (Sp): A Paragon of Beard of 4th level may call upon the great wisdom of his beard to answer the greatest of life's questions. While submerged within his or her own beard (such as through his or her stubble diving class feature), the paragon of beard may use Commune at will (CL 20).

CHARMING BEARD (Sp): A Paragon of Beard possesses one of the greatest beards to ever exist, a beard to end all beards. As such, it is only natural that others would bow down before the paragon. Starting at 4th level, all who witness a Paragon of Beard must make a Will save (DC 10 + class level + Cha modifier) or be charmed as charm monster (CL 20). Bearded creatures are instead affected as if by dominate monster (CL 20). A creature who succeeds on this save is immune to this ability from that paragon of beard for 24 hours. Targets who fail their cave are considered charmed (or dominated) by the paragon.

BEHOLD THE GLORY OF MY BEARD (Su): Whenever a Paragon of Beard of 5th level succeeds on a grapple check against a sighted creature, he or she may force the creature to stare deeply into the magnificience and impossibility of his beard. This functions as a Maze effect (CL 20) as the target is lost in the beard. Any creature who fails 3 consecutive knowledge checks ceases all attempts to escape, instead surrendering to the might and glory of the beard, where it shall live for the rest of its days (or until freed with a freedom, wish, or miracle).

BEARDWALK (Su): Starting at 5th level, as a standard action, a paragon of beard can enter the same square as any other creature with facial hair. As the lord of all beards, the paragon of beard may forcefully enter any source of facial hair and emerge in another square adjacent to any creature with facial hair. Unless either target is a paragon of beard, however, that target immediately lose all facial hair as well as the capacity to grow such hair as channeling the paragon of beard overwhelms their faces entirely.

MIRACLE BEARD (Sp): Starting at 5th level, a paragon of beard can store even the worst of troubles and find the greatest of successes within the depths of his or her beard. As a full-round action, a paragon of beard may pay 5,000 XP to use Miracle as a spell-like ability.


^This is what happens when I start talking to gaming friends while bored.

[Grimsage Matt]

Thi8s, is both funny and racist. I'm making a NPC with this

[LordErebus12]

OMG my sides!!! I love this... im lowering the requirements to allow for 11th level dwarves to enter it.

[Waargh!]

I am getting shaved. Right now.

[SaintRidley]

This is the most wonderful thing I've seen in a while.

[WyvernLord]

Brilliant.

[Acanous]

I'm sorely tempted to make a Dwarven Paragon/Deepwarden/Dwarven Defender/This.

[The Dark Fiddler]

I can't help but notice that Beardcopter doesn't prevent using Stubble Diving. Jump into your beard and fly around! (This is not a point of criticism.)

[Doorhandle]

This class is hilarious and all, but I would like to point out that a mustache is plenty.

[Zaq]

I adore the fact that all of the class features are in all caps. Even if you explicitly tell me otherwise, I will continue to believe that this is intentional, and I will treat it as such.

FEAST OF CRUMBS may be the most revolting bit of homebrew I've read in a while, both in the name and the implications. Good to see that acknowledgement of this is baked in.

[sirpercival]

This is fantastic! You receive at least 5 to 7 kudos.

However... some of these class features need a bit of tweaking.

STUBBLE DIVING (Sp): At 2nd level, the beard of a paragon of beard is deep enough for one to retreat into. A paragon of beard may use Rope Trick (CL 20) at will, save that creatures enter into the paragon’s beard (allowing the entrance to move with the paragon) and that the entrance remains visible unless the paragon dives into his own beard. Starting at 4th level, this space instead functions as a genesis spell with the beard functioning as its own demiplane (CL 20).

Since genesis normally can only be cast from the Ethereal, the greater version of this needs to be better defined. Probably should instead say that the beard becomes the entry beardpoint of a coterminous demibeardplane created as if via the beardgenesis spell, rather than that the beard itself acts like the spell. Does the beardagon choose the beardproperties?

BARBED BRISTLES (Ex): At 3rd level, the facial hair of a paragon of beard is strong and sharp enough to cut through enemies. The paragon of beard effectively gains armor spikes and can make a single attack using these spikes against each grappled foe as a swift action.

Can the armor spikes be enchanted?

SENTIENT BEARD (Su): At 3rd level, the beard of a paragon of beard realizes its full potential and achieves sentience, rolling 4d6 and dropping the lowest result for each mental ability score. The beard may communicate with others by controlling the bioluminescence of the moss and fungus growing within it and gains both sight and hearing, gaining a +10 bonus to spot and listen checks. Finally, the beard may use any two 1st level wizard or sorcerer spells selected when this ability is first gained at will (CL 20, DC 11 + highest mental ability score modifier).

Can the beard at this point activate its own class beardfeatures (like beardcopter)?

CHARMING BEARD (Sp): A Paragon of Beard possesses one of the greatest beards to ever exist, a beard to end all beards. As such, it is only natural that others would bow down before the paragon. Starting at 4th level, all who witness a Paragon of Beard must make a Will save (DC 10 + class level + Cha modifier) or be charmed as charm monster (CL 20). Bearded creatures are instead affected as if by dominate monster (CL 20). A creature who succeeds on this save is immune to this ability from that paragon of beard for 24 hours.

Are they beardcharmed by the Paragon or the Sentient Beard?

BEARDWALK (Su): Starting at 5th level, as a standard action, a paragon of beard can enter the same square as any other creature with facial hair. As the lord of all beards, the paragon of beard may forcefully enter any source of facial hair and emerge in another square adjacent to any creature with facial hair. Unless either target is a paragon of beard, however, that target immediately lose all facial as well as the capacity to grow such hair as channeling the paragon of beard overwhelms their faces entirely.

Missing "hair". But this is very depressing for dwarves. You would think a dwarf (at least, a non-evil dwarf) wouldn't do this to other dwarves...

MIRACLE BEARD (Sp): Starting at 5th level, a paragon of beard can store even the worst of troubles and find the greatest of successes within the depths of his or her beard. As a full-round action, a paragon of beard may pay 5,000 XP to use Wish as a spell-like ability.

So... why wish and not miracle?


Also, what happens if a Paragon takes 5 levels in this class?

[Xallace]

Also, what happens if a Paragon takes 5 levels in this class?

What if the beard takes 5 levels in that class?

[sirpercival]

What if the beard takes 5 levels in that class?

This is a fantastic question. You would have a dwarf with a beard that's an elf.

EDIT: if it can wear the items.

[Realms of Chaos]

Okay, I went in and made some edits to everything so things should hopefully be clear. Of particular note, the beard is now treated as an intelligent item for most purposes so that should hopefully answer questions regarding the beard taking levels/wearing items.

Zaq: Of course those names were capitalized on purpose.
BEHOLD THE GLORY OF MY BEARD just wouldn't work otherwise.

sirpercival/xallace: I believe you two have just described the ultimate conflicted protagonist.

[Xallace]

sirpercival/xallace: I believe you two have just described the ultimate conflicted protagonist.

Or perhaps instead, an Orc who takes that Prestige class that lets one count as a dwarf, and then this prestige class, and then the beard takes the Prettiest to completion.

I guess if you were an Orc Paragon in that case you'd get a racial bonus to shaving.

---

I suppose on topic of the class itself, I'd really like to comment but I have nothing to say that isn't keyboard spam interspersed with various positive adjectives.

[IW Judicator]

All of a sudden my Amulet of +5 Beardedness became that much more useful. They will RUE the day they shaved my dwarvish beard! RUE I SAY! (+5 to opposed Beard checks).

That and my Ring of Epic Bearding (Beard gains Damage Reduction 10/Epic) and I will out-Beard you all!

[Sanctaphrax]

Chinshield looks really strong. A raging Barbarian with this PrC could easily get a +7 shield for free from it, without even trying. And if said Barbarian did try, they could go past +10.

Entanging Beard is also pretty impressive. Maybe too much so.

Can I Beardwalk through my own beard? Is there any way to defend against Beardwalk?

And if I shave, do I lose my class abilities? It doesn't specifically say that I need a beard to use them all.

Or does my beard grow back instantly?

[The Dark Fiddler]

And if I shave, do I lose my class abilities? It doesn't specifically say that I need a beard to use them all.

Or does my beard grow back instantly?

I was about to say that the PrC probably subscribes the CW method, where you lose the abilities if you lose the prerequisites... but having a beard isn't actually a requirement for this class. Like my previous comment, I'm not sure this is a bad thing...

[sirpercival]

How... how, exactly, do you think you would manage to shave your beard after entering this class? I mean, would it even be physically possible?

[Sanctaphrax]

How... how, exactly, do you think you would manage to shave your beard after entering this class? I mean, would it even be physically possible?

Improved Sunder.

[LordErebus12]

Lightsaber
2d4 force x3
ignores hardness than 25
... about the only thing capable...

[Realms of Chaos]

CHINSHIELD: ... The beard cannot be sundered, rusted, or enchanted...

I have thought ahead on the matter.

[Sanctaphrax]

Ah, clever. Missed that.

So what if I take this class when I don't have a beard? The prereqs don't actually say I need one.

[Emperor Ing]

Ah, clever. Missed that.

So what if I take this class when I don't have a beard? The prereqs don't actually say I need one.

Prerequisites:
A character must meet all of the following requirements in order to become a paragon of beard.
Race: Dwarf

Ya they do.

[Sanctaphrax]

Dwarves can shave before they take this class. Or they can be poisoned with something that makes their hair fall out.

[Realms of Chaos]

Ah, clever. Missed that.

So what if I take this class when I don't have a beard? The prereqs don't actually say I need one.

That's actually a very good point. Though I could put on my pedant hat and argue that you'll simply grow into your class feature, having a beard should have been a prerequisite from the very start and I'm amazed that I overlooked something like that.