Order of the Stick! Shenanigans in Dorukan's Dungeon!

[Menarker]

"Well... Here we are."

*The group stand ready at the foot of the entrance of a large structure, stairs leading down into the darkness.*

"May Thor protect us in this peril'ous time of need."

"Yeah, enough of wandering the countryside. Finally we get to do some ethically flexible killing..."

"... and looting!" "Tee hee!"

"As long as we work together, we can get past this!"

"The mysteries of the sanctum of the wizard Dorukan shall swiftly be laid bare to us!"

"Ok ok, let's proceed. Vaarsuvius, you first."

*Flabberghasted* "I, I beg your pardon, Sir Greenhilt?"

"I said you go first."

"Are you suffering from some mental malady? Is it not traditional that one keeps the caster in the back? Perhaps sending someone more armored to support me?"

"Don't worry. Durkon will be right after you."

"So you're sending both our casters in the front line, especially our healer? Are you going to be supporting them afterwards, great leader?"

"No, Belkar is going right after."

"Sounds great, although I'd be glad to take the lead if featherweight wussy Vaarsuvius doesn't want to go ahead."

"As much as I take offense with your tone, even that would be a superior arrangement in my eyes."

"Will you all stop questioning my orders!? We'll never get anywhere with you all blathering like this! Don't make me pull out the contracts!"

"So where are you going to be Roy?"

"... In the back."

"WHAT!?" *Is in incredible disbelief.*

"Easy there... lad? The soon'ah we get start'd the soon'ah we finish!"

*Muttering under his/her breath.*

GAME START!

Turn 1: *Vaarsuvius*

Please choose among these actions.

> Equip Loot (This does not end your turn)
> Trade in Loot you Drool Over for a new shtick. (This does not end your turn.)
> Move down to the first room of the dungeon. (Further details once you take this action.)
> Ragequit. (LOCKED) *Pulls out contract* "Where do you think you're going?"

Feel free to include the details for any combinations of these actions in the same post, but the movement must be the last one.

EDIT: In the future, I'll likely refrain from roleplaying your own characters. Just felt that that lampshading the hilariously inappropriate battle order was due.

Turn Order being: Vaarsuvius, Durkon, Belkar, Elan, Haley, Roy. (Officially at least)

[Vesth]

"This is a complete affront to the traditional arrangement of adventuring parties that endeavor in the undertaking of any risk! It has been developed over the years, and perfected through common sense and an understanding on dungeon mechanics, such that those with the capability of withstanding extreme amounts of punishment - not that I would place myself as a representative on the opposite site of the metaphorical spectrum - would, as the term goes, "Go First", while those with the sheer raw power and might, such as those which have the intellect to grasp the intrincities of the Arcane, would devastate the battlefield from behind! Even Belkar and Haley would be better representatives than I; the former with his capability of daggers, and the latter, with her understanding of traps! Of course, taking moral capacities and foibles into account, it can be seen why they would not be as good as first thought, but even then, you, Sir Greenhilt, would be the prime candidate for such a position! With such expertise in melee weaponry, there isn't much to reason why one such as you would take to the back. Even if you are a doppelgänger pretending to be Sir Greenhilt, you would not make such a ploy or mistake in his representation!"

S/he muttered as s/he trotted down the stairs, taking out a pack of snacks for some reason or another.

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Equipping Snacks, and moving into the dungeon!

Snacks

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Effect: (Order of the Stick) +1 Attack and +1 Defense vs. players while equipped.

[Menarker]

OOC: Well, this certainly is unexpected.

Additionally, for future note, rooms will be numbered by a number and a letter. The number pertains to the Floor number (so all the rooms for the first while will be 1) and the letter will be the room order in which they are explored. So this first room is 1A.
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As the elven wizard transverse down the stairs, the atmosphere is dark... very dark. In fact, that's all there is to say about it. There is little in the way of guidance as you are forced to adjust to this pitch blackness with minimal speed.

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Name: A Dark Room
Effect: You can't see a blasted thing, so slow down. If you move into this room, you must end your turn here, battling monsters as normal. If you begin your turn here, you may leave in either direction. If you have the Darkvision shtick, you may ignore this effect.

However, you are not alone...

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OOC: Zoat, since(your character) is the next one to move, you have to be the one to choose a monster card that Vaarsuvius will fight.

Please copy-paste the monster card of your choice exactly as I PMed it to you. ^^

Note, I've also posted the shticks of all the characters aside from Haley in the discussion pad (found in the link in my signature)

[SlyJohnny]

"It's fun to try new things! I have a really good feeling about this plan!"

Elan seems chipper about the adventure to come. He beams at Vaarsuvius as he strides down the stairs, even strumming a tune on his lute to raise the elf's spirits. "Venture, venture, venture, venture into the hungry darkness!"

His voice rings out in a clear, throaty baritone that takes full advantage of the acoustics of the stairwell. It echoes down ahead of the evoker, handily announcing his passage and giving whatever lurks in the darkness ample time to prepare to ambush him.

"Good luck, Vaarsuvius!" he shouts down after him, at the conclusion of the song.

[Heatwizard]

"Look how dark it is down there! They're first up because they can both see in low light. V has the firepower to put down anything waiting for us down there, where Durkon would have trouble, which is why V is first and Durkon is second. I'm going last because as a melee combatant, I'm most likely to get caught up in any resulting crossfire without being able to land a hit. Belkar would be toward the end too, but he'd just get impatient and complain. Now is everyone done playing backseat strategist, or will I have to deal with a committee meeting for every tactical decision I make today?"

[The Zoat]

Aye, I see somethin' in the darkness o'er there. What is tha'?

I play the Shadowdancer *Human*
ATK: 10 DEF: 18 Range: 3
Exp: 1 Loot: 2
Abilities:
- Hide: If Monster wins on Defense, battle is a draw.
- Multiattack 3: When this Monster Attacks, player rolls three dice and takes lowest roll.

[Menarker]

"And they said a prestige class based on shadows would be useless in a stick figure comic! Now you're in my element!"

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Since this is the first floor, and there is no other pertaining ability saying otherwise, this is the only monster you'll need to fight.

Vesth: Please choose a battle shtick and roll 3 times using the 1d12. Unfortunately, you gotta take the lowest roll. You're on DEFENSE.
(That leaves you with Verbose Recitation and Seldom Used Quarterstaff as your immediate battle shtick options.)

Your highest roll needs to be 11 (10 if using Verbose since it ends in a draw) or higher after combining your Battle Shtick defense value and your lowest of three dice rolls. And of course, you lose if you roll a 1.

[Vesth]

"...this is a general misinterpretation. Elves such as I can see in areas where light exists in infinitesimal amounts, where our cornea can dilate to accept and process what little light exists in the air. This room is not dark; it is devoid of any degree of light at all. I CANNOT SEE!"

As the Shadowdancer proclaimed her presence and the sound of a blade sliding out of a sheath echoes about the room, s/he muttered about the insanity of noe just her leader, but their opponent as well.

"And you whom I believe is a Shadowdancer from your jubilant expression of joy! There is no light, so there are no shadows! What can you expect to draw upon, where the source of your inferior energy is barred from you? How have you managed to think this through when our dear musician took the efforts to alert you to my presence in advance?!"

Curiously, this verbose outburst had the effect of protecting Vaarsuvius as his words reverberated around the room, keeping the Shadowdancer from finding the wizard via sound.

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Defence (Verbose Recitation): (1d12+3)[10], (1d12+3)[13], (1d12+3)[15]

[Menarker]

The shadowdancer's weapons clanged against the walls several times, but each time was a failure, although one came perilously close to gutting a wound to the wizard.

Hopefully an ally will come by shortly...

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OOC:

Battle is a draw. No wound lost on either side. No other effects of battle.

End of turn Options

> Equip or Unequip Loot
> Trade in Loot for Shtick (I know this was already offered at start of turn, but just saying for the record.)
> End Turn (Turn passes to Durkon AKA Zoat)

EDIT: Vesth has posted in the OOC thread saying he has ended his turn. So Zoat (Durkon) is up now.

NOTE: Zoat, you can follow the same opening actions that Vesth did without waiting for me when it is your turn. You can also make an offer to V for assistance by trading loot. Otherwise if you don't, you can continue to make the same required rolls for the battle. No one put in a new monster though when you enter though.

[The Zoat]

I go down to fight the shadowdancer.

In Thor's name I smite ye!

[The Zoat]

OOC: Rerolling

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(1d12+1)[7]

[Menarker]

OOC: Might want to skim the rules a bit more Zoat. At any rate, battle was a failure in this case, as mentioned in the OOC thread. A good rule of thumb is that if you moved during a turn, the first non-PvP combat you engage is going to be in Defense Mode.

As a note to all players, please copy-paste the battle shtick you're using when engaging in battle.

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Durkon's fumbled, clanking heavily onto the floor, leaving him open to a well aimed shuriken to the noggin. Fortunately, your head is mildly thick like your armor. Still, it hurts quite a bit.

Result: Durkon loses 1 Wound.


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OOC: Shall I presume you wish to continue to the next player (Belkar) or do you wish to perform some legal action like healing yourself, or something among that nature?

[The Zoat]

Yeah, I use my Cure Assorted wounds Shtick on myself.

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Name: Cure Assorted Wounds *Magic Shtick* (FLIP)
Effect: Ask one player on the same floor if you can heal them. If they agree, flip this card to heal 1 Wound to them. If they have any Loot Cards, they must give you one in exchange; it does not need to be Loot that you drool over. You may heal yourself in this manner.
Boost: Heal +1 Wound

[Menarker]

Durkon quickly rub his head with one hand and his focus with the other hand. "Cure Light Wounds!" *After removing the offending object that is!*

Effect: Health back to full. Cure Assorted Wound card flipped.

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OOC: I'll presume at this point that is it Belkar's turn?

[The Zoat]

OOC: Yup. It's totes belkar's turn.

[PePe QuiCoSE]

OOC: I'll be completely boring and won't do much RP, other than when I'm 'scratching' my fellow backs.

I man up, walk straight into the Dark Room and take the hits as the Halfling I am.

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(1d12)[3]
(1d12)[2]
(1d12)[6]

Also, I happen to find an Explosive Runes in this Dark Room that I don't read since only an idiot would do that. Wonder who goes next...

[SlyJohnny]

Elan wanders down, singing his darkness song all the way. The shadow-dancer's first blow misses him by a matter of luck, striking the wall beside him. He yelps and jumps away, but then frowns. "A shadowdancer? Well, I have ranks in dance, too! We're going to have a danceoff! Like in that one story where there were the Jets and the Sharks and they didn't like each other and then they had a danceoff!"

He shouts in the direction he estimates Belkar to be. "Belkar! I'll give you these Gauntlets of Ogre Stench and Someone's Kidney if you help me!"

You remember when he first picked up that kidney. You'd stabbed someone precisely to carefully extricate and preserve the organ, but Elan's turn to loot came before yours, and he picked it up. He didn't even intend to sell it, insisting only that it would be probably be useful for a 'quest turn-in' somewhere down the line.

He stalks towards the shadowdancer, snapping his fingers and making a strange beat with his mouth. He doesn't appear to have even drawn his weapon yet.

[PePe QuiCoSE]

so you want me to stab both his feet while you pretend to be fighting? Deal!

[SlyJohnny]

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Expending both Bard Song's for bonus, attacking with Rapier.

As Elan distracts their assailant, Belkar flanks from behind and buries both of his daggers into the shadowdancer's ankles with vengeful glee. Elan seems surprised at this, but as the shadowdancer lunges forward with a cry of pain and rage, he draws his rapier and finishes the wounded man off.

Elan nods to Belkar, though he seems disappointed.

"Thanks, but I meant more like, walk sideways next to me and snap your fingers, too. Though that also worked. Oh well. Maybe another time!"

Elan swiftly searches the man's corpse, sparing a glance for the man's hamstrung dancing feet. "It's sad I had to kill him, but his promising broadway career was over anyway, I guess."

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Taking both loot items and ending my turn. Haley is up.

(3d12)[4][10][10](24)

[Menarker]

OOC: Wait one moment! I do need to run all GM actions after a combat...

*Had just woke up and feeling groggy*

Anyhow I do need to take care of the after-battle results. I did say that everyone can perform the dice rolls for their battles, but I expected everyone to stop there. In case of stuff like Screw This and what not.

EDIT: Results are tabulated... And they are classically Elan.

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Battle Over.
Elan gains the 'Shadowdancer' monster worth 1 Exp and 2 loot cards.
Belkar gains the 'Gauntlet of Ogre Stench' and 'Someone's Kidney' as part of the Assistance Deal.

Elan picks up two loots...

TRAP!

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Name: Peanut Butter and Ochre Jelly
Evade: 6 Range: 0 Single Target
Effect: Lose 1 Wound.

Elan spies a peanut butter and jelly sandwich dropping from the corpse! Ignoring any protests from his comrades and any sense of better judgement, he attempts to take a bite when the jelly becomes animate and violent just as he is about to take a bite out of it!

[SlyJohnny]

The expression of pure childish delight on Elan's face drops into an almost comical expression of distress and tragedy. He hurls the sandwich away as it tries to eat his face.

"ARRGGH! Oh, man! That is the second worst sandwich I've ever had!"

(( (1d12)[5] evade))

[Menarker]

Result: Elan took 1 damage...

Just afterwards, you walk toward the rest of the group and out of boredom, you pull out...

Glow In The Dark Banjo!

Ooooh, I see something written on these walls...

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Belkar's 'Screw This' card from last turn.
Name: Explosive Runes
When: At the end of your turn.
Effect: Place this card in your current room. The next time a player other than you ends their turn in this room, the runes detonate, causing all players in the room to lose 1 Wound. Discard this card after it detonates.

The room explodes VIOLENTLY as Belkar, Durkon, Vaarsuvius and Elan all get a faceful of light and fire to light up the hall for the brief few moments before it falls into darkness again...

Vaarsuvius, Durkon, Belkar and Elan: Lose 1 Wound.

Belkar was right. Only an idiot would read those runes. =3


EDIT: Hamiltonz is not going to be back for a while, so I move his player Haley, to the space where everyone else is and end his turn.

As GM, I kindly request that no one PvP Haley at this time (Treat her like an NPC in essence). Haley will auto-accept Assistance during Monster Battles, but not be involved in PvP battle.

This means, the next turn belongs to Roy.

> Equip loot.
> Trade in loot for shtick.
> Move into Dark Room (Cannot move any further.)
> PvP with a player?
> If no PvP, end turn?

[Heatwizard]

"What the hell is going on down there?"

>Equip Dancing Sword and The Stick, descend into the darkness, pass turn.

[The Zoat]

Sooo... Who wants healing?

[Menarker]

Ah, I forgot to mention.

Since there is no monster in the room, Roy can also search for stairs leading down (although the battles will be tougher and it'll probably be a good idea to go sideways to gain experience/loot.

If you want to try searching, roll 1d12 and hope you get a 1, 2 or 3. (The Lucky Bastard rule won't apply here.)

At the end of tomorrow night (for me) if there is no response (or if Roy searches and fails) then I'll move to the next turn (Vaarsuvius). I'll announce when that starts, so don't get hasty. =3

Also, I'm including the stats for 'Dancing Sword' and 'The Stick' since Heatwizard has neglected to do so. Like I've said before, when presenting a card, please include the stats it.

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Name: Dancing Sword

Effect: Elan or Roy get +2 Attack and +2 Defense vs. Fiends while equipped.

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Name: The Stick

Order of the Stick: +2 Evade vs. traps while equipped.

[Vesth]

"A curious phenomena regarding a well placed magical trap that was reminiscent of a very familiar spell, Sir Greenhilt."

Vaarsuvius said simply as s/he moved into another room to get into somewhere that actually had light.

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Move to B1

[Heatwizard]

Also, I'm including the stats for 'Dancing Sword' and 'The Stick' since Heatwizard has neglected to do so. Like I've said before, when presenting a card, please include the stats it.

In my defense, I am a total moron.

(1d12)[12]

e: Oof. What's a stairs? Will we have to fight it?

[Menarker]

OOC: Roy hilariously fails to find any stairs. A pity, since that dice roll would have been a massive success combat wise.

Ok, Vaarsuvius is moving to 1B.

But I need you to clarify something. Is 1B to the LEFT of the darkness room or to the RIGHT? For mapbuilding/dungeon creating purpose.

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From out of the darkness, you step into...

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Name: A Different Dungeon Corridor
Effect: There's really nothing special about this hall at all, except that there is a door in it. Don't get too excited, it doesn't go anywhere, like, interesting or anything.

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OOC: As is traditional, Durkon (Zoat) has to choose a monster from his Battle Hand, and summon it. Copy Paste the entire thing when you do so.

Vaarsuvius is in DEFENSE mode.

[The Zoat]

What's tha? I hear summat coming!

"Leeroy JENKINS!"

I play the Disgruntled Goblin.

Name: Disgruntled Goblin *Goblin*
ATK: 6 DEF: 6 Range: 0
Exp: 1 Loot: 0
Abilities:
- Charge: When played into a room, Monster immediately moves to top of Battle Stack.
- Exploding: If Monster takes a Wound, all players and Monsters in same room take 1 Wound immediately.

[Vesth]

I perforate your existence with my elongated wooden implement!

LEEEEEEER-Oof!

As the goblin lunges forward, the wizard nimbly stepped out of the way, swinging his/her quarterstaff such that it caught the poor goblin the midriff and sent it flying backwards.

As the goblin connected solidly with the wall, it stumbled forward, quickly swiping sharp and dirty fingernails at the advancing wizard.

IN THE GLORY OF L-

The quarterstaff spun in a tight circle, the spinning edge of which struck the goblin's poor hand, knocking the makeshift weapon aside. As Vaarsuvius quickly reversed his/her grip, s/he pushed the weapon back, before launching it forward, striking the goblin on the chest, eliciting a loup SNAP as bone broke between the polished wood and the unmoving stone wall.

I have calculated every eventuality of this martial exercise, and it is doubtless that you would have lost, what with your pointless proclaimant about a piece of utter fiction!

The goblin spat blood on the floor, glaring at the wizard.

YOU WILL GO TO HELL FOR THIS, YOU ANDROGYNOUS LOUDMOUTH!

Vaarsuvius gritted his teeth, and s/he pushed his front hand upwards, while his/her back hand forced down, creating a lever that sent the quarterstaff smacking against the poor goblin's head.

I've had enough!

With a quick spin, the piece of wood smacked the foe atop the head.

Your perversity is astounding and illogical. I had enough to settle my poor brain on with Elan's preposterous dedication to Banjo and all that he stands, and I WILL NOT TOLERATE IDIOCITY-

*THUD*

-BLASPHEMOUS-

*THUD*

-PROSELYTIZING DUNCES ANY LONGER!

*CRACK*

As Vaarsuvius breathed heavily, s/he seethed at the goblin with his head caved in, and without a second though, drove his/her quarterstaff right through the goblin's right foot and into the ground, before forcing the other tip below the dead goblin's chin, and reversed the movement of the weapon, impaling the poor goblin through the brain.

As he finally let the goblin fall to the floor, s/he pulled free his bloody quarterstaff, and proceeded to clean it quietly. It really isn't a good idea of Elan...or Roy, for that matter, to talk to him/her right now. S/He's had enough of fools and inept strategists for the moment.

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Seldom Used Quarterstaff: (1d12+1)[12]