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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    MindFlayer

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    Default Please Critique my homebrew Race

    I decided to try my hand at making a homebrew 3.5 race. I've never done this before, so I'd appreciate feedback. I made a race called the Ood. Kudos to anyone who can tell me what show the Ood are from! The setting they are in is one I'm trying to make called Trifecta. In it, 3 planets orbit each other in fairly close proximity, and the group orbits a star. The Ood are from Yorin, which is basically where I've stuck all the aberrations, plus Gith and Mind Flayers. There are thousands of naturally occurring portals connecting the 3 planets.
    The Ood's description references a Psychic class, which is a homebrew class I found on the interent. There are some alterations. Here it is:
    http://dungeons.wikia.com/wiki/Psychic_(3.5e_Class)


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    Physical Description:
    Ood are humanoids with pale, hairless skin, that is always slightly moist. It's texture is stiff and leathery, very different from that of humans. They have small red eyes that point at a drastic, near vertical angle. Their mouth is not mobile, it is a stiff hole out of which hangs approximately 15 tentacles. Their hands have 3 fingers and a thumb, as well as a discolored sensitive pad on their palm. They look somewhat like Mind Flayers. They have larvae, and they look like large leeches with Ood heads for most of their childhood. Their most striking feature is the fact that, out of their mouth among their tentacles comes a biological cord. On the end of the cord is a small second brain that needs to be almost constantly supported, either with a hand or with a specialized pocket all Ood clothing has. When the second brain touches the pad on their hand, they gain access to most of their wide array of natural Psychic powers. They hail from the planet Yorin.

    Personality:
    Ood are extremely docile, and benevolent. Their psychic powers allow them to form bonds with others quickly and well. They are very air-headed as a rule of thumb, and frequently silently wander, listening intently to the song of the Ood. They tend to avoid conflict, but can understand that is is sometimes necessary.

    Society:
    Ood settlements are few and far between, they normally live in the societies of others. They don't see a physical society as necessary, because they have the song.
    The Song of the Ood is one of the Ood's most distinctive features. All Ood are telepathically connected to all other Ood all the time They constantly form an immense telepathic choir, through which they can assess the general state of the species, get information, and more.

    Relations:
    Ood have no problems with any non-evil race. However, some other races find the Ood disconcerting, with their strange mannerisms and psychic powers, mainly Klingons and Dwarves. Halflings and Gnomes tend to think they're funny, and their song is a point of respect from elves. Mind Flayers seem to have a strange tolerance for them, due to genetic relationship, as they don't feel compelled to enslave them on sight.

    Language:
    Ood can communicate telepathically with any race, regardless of language. Their signals are automatically translated into whatever language the recipient is most comfortable with. Ood also use telepathy to auto translate others languages for them. This is a good thing since Ood's mouths aren't mobile and they lack vocal cords.

    Religion:
    Most Ood aren't religious, though they do acknowledge the existence of deities. If they are religious, they'll likely worship a deity that fits their alignment.

    Alignment:
    The majority of Ood are true neutral or Lawful Neutral(About 70% of the population). Most of the rest are Neutral Good or Lawful Good. Chaotic Ood are virtually unheard of, and It is psychologically impossible for an Ood to be evil, though they are susceptible to several psychosis-like mental illnesses that can drive them to murderous rampages.

    Names:
    Ood are recognized by other Ood using a unique telepathic signature similar to a serial number, and as such names are unnecessary. Non-Ood who know an Ood will typically give them a name. Ood are hermaphrodites.

    Racial Traits:
    +2 Intelligence, -2 Strength. Ood are very intelligent, but mainly use their psionics for mundane tasks, not their bodies.

    Humanoid (Yorinite)
    Medium
    Base Land Speed: 25 feet.
    Ood get a +4 on all sense motive, diplomacy, and gather information checks. Telepathy comes in useful when doing these things.
    Ood get a +4 to fortitude checks against cold, they live in cold environments
    Ood get a +5 on all checks using Psychic powers.
    Telepathic Communication: Ood can communicate with any sentient or semi-sentient(Int:2) species automatically.
    Song of the Ood: All Ood are telepathically connected to all other Ood all the time. They can use this "Song" to do a variety of things:
    • Ood gain a +5 on any knowledge check of any kind, unless the DM can reasonably say no live Ood has ever known what they are trying to find out. They gain any knowledge on the subject known by any live Ood.
    • If any town with any Ood residents are attacked, all other Ood know.
    • If an Ood is in grave danger, defined as going below 10% of their max HP, other Ood can lend them psychic power through the song, giving them a +4 on all checks using their psychic abilities, and a +3 to damage on psychic attacks for 5 rounds, or until they get above 10% of their HP. If this ability is invoked because the Ood falls unconscious, the bonuses apply after the Ood regains consciousness.

    Psychic Powers: The Ood are natural psychics. Even if they do not hone them, Ood have a variety of abilities. To use a psychic power other than The Song, or telepathic communication, an Ood must hold it's second brain in one of it's hands.
    • Telekinesis: Ood can, at first level, lift an object or objects weighing up to 40 lbs 10 feet into the air, at a maximum distance of 30 ft. The object can also be moved horizontally within the effective distance. Every level an Ood gains, the max weight increases by 20 lbs, and the max height increases by 10 ft. Every 2 levels, the max distance increases by 10 ft. If the Ood has any levels in Psychic, the max weight increases by 25 lbs and 15 ft, respectively; and the max distance increases by 10 ft every level.
    • Brain Waves:As a standard action, an Ood can unleash waves of negative mental energy upon a living target within 30 ft radius. The target must succeed a Will save (DC 12 + 1/2 the Ood's level) or take 1d4+1 damage and be dazed for 1 round. If the save is successful the damage is halved and the dazing effect is canceled. This ability is a mind-affecting effect. If the Ood is a psychic, use the standard effect instead.

    Tentacles: An Ood's tentacles can function somewhat like a hand. They can't hold a weapon or shield, but they can carry most mundane Items, such as a torch or length of rope. Exceptions can be managed at the DMs discretion.


    So, what do you think? I really need feedback, and this is my first try.
    Last edited by zzuxon; 2012-10-01 at 11:25 AM.

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    MindFlayer

    Join Date
    Sep 2012

    Thumbs up Re: Please Critique my homebrew Race

    Great- I love how the Ood can develope deeper relationship with other players/characters and the telekenetic ailities would make it dynamic in and out of gamplay. Looks great
    Last edited by Call-Me-Kevin; 2012-09-30 at 08:41 PM.

  3. - Top - End - #3
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    gr8artist's Avatar

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    Default Re: Please Critique my homebrew Race

    Dr. Who!
    I'm not familiar with Psionics, but the race looks interesting. The background/extraneous info is directly related to your campaign, so it's hard to comment on that.
    As for balance, the race looks good, and kinda' unique. My concern comes with the "auto-succeed any knowledge" thing. That's a big bonus, one which kills wizard skills and bardic abilities. A group usually only needs one walking encyclopedia. Brain waves needs a DC, too.
    My Homebrew and Extended Signature
    Current avatar: Charza Sahlaren, by gr8artist

  4. - Top - End - #4
    Dwarf in the Playground
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    Default Re: Please Critique my homebrew Race

    I can't seem to find the LA you're attaching to it. The knowledge thing is a bit much, extremely abusible and very difficult for a DM to handle fairly.
    To anyone who thought Gandalf was dead: Don't you know, a wizard is never late?

  5. - Top - End - #5
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    MindFlayer

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    Sep 2012
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    Default Re: Please Critique my homebrew Race

    Thanks for your feedback Maybe the auto succeed at knowledge checks is a bit much, maybe just a plus 5, or something.
    Also I should give Brain waves should have a DC, derp. I guess I'll go with a Dc 12 + 1/2 the ood's level, rounded down.
    So, I'm adding those 2 things, plus a +4 to fortitude checks against cold, which I forgot.
    Kudos to Gr8artist.
    Last edited by zzuxon; 2012-10-01 at 11:18 AM.

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