New OOTS products from CafePress
New OOTS t-shirts, ornaments, mugs, bags, and more
Results 1 to 9 of 9
  1. - Top - End - #1
    Orc in the Playground
     
    AkazilliaDeNaro's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    A little to the left.
    Gender
    Male

    Default Dungbeast 3.5 monster (WIP, PEACH)

    Dungbeast
    Large Aberration
    Hit Dice: 12d8 +84 (138 hp)
    Speed: 40 ft. (8 squares)
    Initiative: +5
    Armor Class: 20 (+1 Dex, -1 size, +10 natural); touch 10; flat-footed 19
    BAB/Grapple: +9/+18
    Attack: Slam +13 melee (1d8+5 plus dung poison)
    Full Attack: 2 slams +13 melee (1d8+5 plus dung poison)
    Space/Reach: 10 ft./10 ft.
    Special Attacks: death throes, dung bomb, dung breath, dung poison, dung wall
    Special Qualities: Contaminating, darkvision 60 ft., disease immunity, What Is That Smell? WHAT DID I JUST EAT!
    Saves: Fort +14 Ref +5 Will +8
    Abilities: Str 20(+5), Dex 12(+1), Con 23(+6), Int 10(+0), Wis 10(+0), Cha 4(-3)
    Skills: Listen +2, Spot +2
    Feats: Improved Toughness, Great Fortitude, Ability Focus (What's That Smell?), Endurance, Diehard
    Environment: Any
    Organization: Solitary
    Challenge Rating: 12
    Treasure:
    Alignment: True Neutral
    Advancement:13-19 HD (Large); 20-34 HD (Huge)
    Level Adjustment: None

    You smell the beast far before you see it. Your stomach rebels against the oder,and bile rises in your throat. Now you can hear it too, squelching footsteps,and then,a splash as it dives into the river. You see the water darken,turning brownish grey.
    And suddenly,it is in front of you,it's stocky legs propelling it from the river. The water has done nothing to clean it,rather,it's appearance is more disgusting,the filth smeared to its leathery hide. It smashes it's front feet into your chest. Dazed by its smell as you are,it's all you can do to take the blow,and stagger backwards,the creatures beady eyes watching. The two openings on the sides of its oval head flex,and suddenly you are covered in dung,the smell assailing your senses,weakening you. As you crawl away, completely defeated,you sincerely hope none of your friends ever hear about this meeting with a Dungbeast

    Combat

    Contaminating (Ex): Any open source of water that is exposed to the dung beast’s 60-foot aura is contaminated for 1d4 hours/round it is exposed to the dungbeast's aura.

    Death Throes (Ex): When a Dungbeast dies, it explodes dealing 4d6 points of damage to everything in a 60-foot radius. Anything dealt damage by this must make a DC 22 Fortitude save or be nauseated. The save is constitution-based.

    Dung Bomb (Ex): The dungbeast can blast a 10-foot area within 30 feet that deals 2d6 points of damage plus dung poison to any creature that fails its Fortitude save (DC 22). The save is Constitution-based.

    Dung Poison (Ex): When a Dungbeast makes a successful attack against a living creature, that creature must make a Fortitude save (DC 22) or be considered nauseated and take 1d4 points of constitution damage twice. The save is constitution-based.

    Dung Wall (Sp): As a standard action, a dungbeast can cast a wall of dung similar to a wall of ice spell that causes 2d6 points of damage plus dung poison to any creature that fails its Fortitude save (DC 22). The save is Constitution-based.

    WHAT DID I JUST EAT!: Any living creature that makes a successful bite attack at the dungbeast takes 2d4 points of damage and must make a DC 22 Fortitude save or fall prone and be considered helpless and nauseated for 2d10 rounds. The save is Constitution-based.

    What Is That Smell? (Ex): Any living creature that breathes inside the dung beast's 60-foot aura must make a Fortitude save starting at DC 24 -1 for every 10 feet away from the center of the aura, or be nauseated. The save is Constitution-based.
    Last edited by AkazilliaDeNaro; 2014-02-14 at 05:22 AM.
    avatar by me!
    If you are going to shorten my name go with "Akaz" instead of "Aka" its less confusing.
    Also I may End up Capatalizing the BEginning of words, or mispelleing them interly.
    Think nothing of it, I just REALLY suck at typing.(Those examples were on purpose, though.)
    My Homebrews
    Homebrew Table Tutorial

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Troll in the Playground
     
    PirateGirl

    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Elemental Plane of Purple
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Dungbeast 3.5 monster (WIP, PEACH)

    Aside from formatting issues, it looks pretty good. I think it has too many attacks (dung poison is an attack and so is dung explosion). Dung explosion is really a death throes special attack.

    BAB is +9 only Monsters do not get iterative attacks with their natural weapons. It makes 2 slams at +13 melee and does make extra attacks for high BAB.

    It looks like most of your special abilities are Extraordinary and Constitution based.

    Advancement should be by HD and monsters generally gain a size when they double their HD.

    What is Dung Wall?

    Still needs feats.

    Debby
    P.E.A.C.H. Please Evaluate And Critique Honestly. Being nicer and kinder doesn't hurt either. Note I generally only critique 3.5 and Pathfinder material.
    Please, please, please when using non-core material, cite to the books. There are too many books to wade through to find the one with the feat, special ability or spell you use.
    my creations in homebrew signature thread

  3. - Top - End - #3
    Orc in the Playground
     
    AkazilliaDeNaro's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    A little to the left.
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Dungbeast 3.5 monster (WIP, PEACH)

    Aside from formatting issues, it looks pretty good. I think it has too many attacks (dung poison is an attack and so is dung explosion). Dung explosion is really a death throes special attack.
    fixed
    BAB is +9 only Monsters do not get iterative attacks with their natural weapons. It makes 2 slams at +13 melee and does make extra attacks for high BAB.
    fixed

    It looks like most of your special abilities are Extraordinary and Constitution based.
    not sure what to do with that.

    Advancement should be by HD and monsters generally gain a size when they double their HD.
    think i fixed that now.

    What is Dung Wall?
    not quite sure what i meant by this ability.

    Still needs feats.
    i dont know what feats to give it.
    sorry this is my first monster.
    avatar by me!
    If you are going to shorten my name go with "Akaz" instead of "Aka" its less confusing.
    Also I may End up Capatalizing the BEginning of words, or mispelleing them interly.
    Think nothing of it, I just REALLY suck at typing.(Those examples were on purpose, though.)
    My Homebrews
    Homebrew Table Tutorial

  4. - Top - End - #4
    Bugbear in the Playground
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Arse end of nowhere, UK
    Gender
    Male

    Thumbs up Re: Dungbeast 3.5 monster (WIP, PEACH)

    Hrm, needs skills doing, and I'd suggest Endurance and Diehard for feats, and perhaps suggest Ability Focus for one of the abilities (I'd go for the Death Throes one personally, just because I'm like that).

    Otherwise funky monster, would make for a rather interesting encounter and offers some plot hook potential. Good job!
    All I ask is a tall ship, and a star to steer her by.

    My homebrews Moloques! Sagacious Defender of the Forge, The Open Palm, Sacred Scourge, The Bastion
    Co-Developer of the Mutant Powers Project:
    World Warper
    Telekineticist and ACFs, Feats, Shadow Hand PrC

  5. - Top - End - #5
    Troll in the Playground
     
    PirateGirl

    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Elemental Plane of Purple
    Gender
    Female

    Thumbs down Re: Dungbeast 3.5 monster (WIP, PEACH)

    I recommend you look at the online SRD for better view of how to format and present a monster. See here: http://www.d20srd.org/indexes/monsters.htm.

    Here is how it looks with consistent formatting. If you are are using a colon to separate the columns, then use it in all columns not just some.
    Your HD and hit points were off.

    Spoiler
    Show

    Dungbeast
    Large Aberration
    Hit Dice: 12d8 +84 (138 hp)
    Speed: 40 ft. (8 squares)
    Initiative: +1
    Armor Class: 20 (+1 Dex, -1 size, +10 natural); touch 10; flat-footed 19
    BAB/Grapple: +9/+18
    Attack: Slam +13 melee (1d8+5 plus dung poison)
    Full Attack: 2 slams +13 melee (1d8+5 plus dung poison)
    Space/Reach: 10 ft./10 ft.
    Special Attacks: death throes, dung bomb, dung breath, dung poison, dung wall
    Special Qualities: Contaminating, darkvision 60 ft., disease immunity, What Is That Smell? WHAT DID I JUST EAT!
    Saves: Fort +14 Ref +5 Will +8
    Abilities: Str 20(+5), Dex 12(+1), Con 23(+6), Int 10(+0), Wis 10(+0), Cha 4(-3)
    Skills:
    Feats: Improved Toughness, Great Fortitude, 6, 9, 12
    Environment: Any
    Organization: Solitary
    Challenge Rating: 12
    Treasure:
    Alignment:
    Advancement:13-19 HD (Large); 20-34 HD (Huge)
    Level Adjustment: None

    Monster fluff goes here.

    Combat

    Contaminating (Ex): Any open source of water that is exposed to the dung beast’s aura is contaminated for 1d4 hours/round it is exposed to the dungbeast's aura.

    Death Throes (Ex): When a Dungbeast dies, it explodes dealing 4d6 points of damage to everything in a 60-foot radius. Anything dealt damage by this must make a DC 22 Fortitude save or be nauseated. The save is constitution-based.

    Dung Bomb (Ex): The dungbeast can blast a 10-foot area within 30 feet that deals 2d6 points of damage plus dung poison to any creature that fails its Fortitude save (DC 22). The save is Constitution-based.

    Dung Poison (Ex): When a Dungbeast makes a successful attack against a living creature, that creature must make a Fortitude save (DC 22) or be considered nauseated and take 1d4 points of constitution damage twice. The save is constitution-based.

    Dung Wall (Sp): As a standard action, a dungbeast can cast a wall of dung similar to a wall of ice spell that causes 2d6 points of damage plus dung poison to any creature that fails its Fortitude save (DC 22). The save is Constitution-based.

    WHAT DID I JUST EAT!: Any living creature that makes a successful bite attack at the dungbeast takes 2d4 points of damage and must make a DC 22 Fortitude save or fall prone and be considered helpless and nauseated for 2d10 rounds. The save is Constitution-based.

    What Is That Smell? (Ex): Any living creature that breathes inside the dung beast's 60-foot aura must make a Fortitude save starting at DC 22 -1 for every 10 feet away from the center of the aura, or be nauseated. The save is Constitution-based.


    Hope this helps.

    Note: Edited to correct hp for improved toughness feat.

    Debby
    Last edited by Debihuman; 2012-10-21 at 09:42 PM.
    P.E.A.C.H. Please Evaluate And Critique Honestly. Being nicer and kinder doesn't hurt either. Note I generally only critique 3.5 and Pathfinder material.
    Please, please, please when using non-core material, cite to the books. There are too many books to wade through to find the one with the feat, special ability or spell you use.
    my creations in homebrew signature thread

  6. - Top - End - #6
    Orc in the Playground
     
    AkazilliaDeNaro's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    A little to the left.
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Dungbeast 3.5 monster (WIP, PEACH)

    Quote Originally Posted by Debihuman View Post
    I recommend you look at the online SRD for better view of how to format and present a monster. See here: http://www.d20srd.org/indexes/monsters.htm.

    Here is how it looks with consistent formatting. If you are are using a colon to separate the columns, then use it in all columns not just some.
    Your HD and hit points were off.
    i was using the srd but your formatting look much nicer. But about the hp improved toughness grants +1 hp per HD so it has +84... i think
    avatar by me!
    If you are going to shorten my name go with "Akaz" instead of "Aka" its less confusing.
    Also I may End up Capatalizing the BEginning of words, or mispelleing them interly.
    Think nothing of it, I just REALLY suck at typing.(Those examples were on purpose, though.)
    My Homebrews
    Homebrew Table Tutorial

  7. - Top - End - #7
    Troll in the Playground
     
    PirateGirl

    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Elemental Plane of Purple
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Dungbeast 3.5 monster (WIP, PEACH)

    Oops you are right. It should have +84 not +72 due to improved toughness.

    I'll fix my stat block above.
    P.E.A.C.H. Please Evaluate And Critique Honestly. Being nicer and kinder doesn't hurt either. Note I generally only critique 3.5 and Pathfinder material.
    Please, please, please when using non-core material, cite to the books. There are too many books to wade through to find the one with the feat, special ability or spell you use.
    my creations in homebrew signature thread

  8. - Top - End - #8
    Titan in the Playground
     
    DracoDei's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Near Atlanta,GA USA
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Dungbeast 3.5 monster (WIP, PEACH)

    While I might recommend otherwise for a more complicated creature (to make later editing less intensive), I think Contaminating should list the 60' radius explicitly.
    [Public Service Announcement]P.E.A.C.H stands for Please Examine And Critique Honestly[/Public Service Announcement]
    Currently Running: Equestria Begins (A High Tactics campaign)
    Extended Signature
    My Homebrew is meant to be used, but, if you do, PLEASE tell me how it goes.

  9. - Top - End - #9
    Troll in the Playground
     
    AssassinGuy

    Join Date
    Apr 2007

    Default Re: Dungbeast 3.5 monster (WIP, PEACH)

    Finally, a creature that characters are more hesitant about touching than a rust monster. It's about time, I say.
    I'm try not to be too vain but this was too perfect not to sig.
    Quote Originally Posted by Primal Fury View Post
    okay RoC, that is enough! the gitp boards can only take so much awsome, you might actually hurt somebody with this one!
    At long last, I have an extended signature

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •