A Monster for Every Season: Summer 2
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  1. - Top - End - #31
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    NecromancerGuy

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    Default Re: Self-Destructive PCs

    Well, this happened today:

    A group of PCs, try to enter the the most stuck up elven kingdom in the world. They Are Racists towards humans, dwarves and even elves unless they are from their own Kingdom.
    After a long debate with the elven guards
    "I cannot trust you to enter!" The guard Says. "You are humans, and I have seen everything the humans can do!"
    "Have you seen an Elf like me before?" the desguised drow elf of the Company says while he removes his hood.

    Imagine what happened.

  2. - Top - End - #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrlockDelesian View Post
    Well, this happened today:

    A group of PCs, try to enter the the most stuck up elven kingdom in the world. They Are Racists towards humans, dwarves and even elves unless they are from their own Kingdom.
    After a long debate with the elven guards
    "I cannot trust you to enter!" The guard Says. "You are humans, and I have seen everything the humans can do!"
    "Have you seen an Elf like me before?" the desguised drow elf of the Company says while he removes his hood.

    Imagine what happened.
    That's amazing.
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    That's RAW for you; 100% Rules-Legal, 110% silly.
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    "Common sense" and "RAW" are not exactly on speaking terms
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  3. - Top - End - #33
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    So now three weeks have passed, and we had another session yesterday.

    And dear lord was it bad. Hilarious fun, but so, so bad.

    I should probably start with a proper introduction of the party to give better insight into the situation. The party is the following:


    Skarr is the one who destroyed the pillar supporting the inn/illegal fighting ring in the last session, Varonel is the angel who set it on fire, Rogunel is the mute angel with the rifle, Santos is Santos (also sometimes the party face due to his high Diplomacy), Baron Pjotr was absent in that session (and also the only one not present in the one that I will speak of), Dr Grutenstein and Zenkiki were absent in the last session and are a pair of jotun brothers who both have medical degrees in different fields. Dr Grutenstein has a bit of a mad scientist personality, while Zenkiki is more zany and fond of brewing vodka, like he used to do with his father. (During the session the players also noted that this was the first all-male party in our campaigns so far.)

    As for the session...

    I started off with having Dr Grutenstein tell me what he did while the others went into town and eventually destroyed an inn, so he described how he first went to collect parts of some monsters they had slain at the end of the session before the last one, and then went to the town hospital to offer his services as a doctor. He got a temporary pass and ended up giving an amputee a new arm, all hairy and clawed. The next day, as he was allowed to sleep at the hospital as an attending doctor, he discovered the hospital had a Psychiatric Ward in the basement and decided to go in there, finding only a man sitting in a chair reading a newspaper in front of a few locked doors. He talked with him for a while, asking to see "Patient #5" and was told that one was gone since a few days, so he then instead asked for "Patient #10". He was allowed in after showing his pass and convincing the man that "Xenobiology" means "brain specialist".

    He went through a door, ending up in a hallway with several locked doors to patients' rooms, was led to the last one in the hall and the guy held it open for him. The Doctor asked for the patient's file to check up on some things and then the door was closed and locked behind him.

    Grutenstein then proceeded to talk to the man, who was bound with leather straps to the wall, asking him who he hated most in life, was told "my ex-father-in-law" and then proceeded to insult the man and his former personal relationships. The man tried to break loose and got an arm free, upon which Grutenstein shot him in the arm with a crossbow he'd had concealed under his white coat. The man's eyes began to glow and he broke loose, became encased in hulking brass armor and began to pound away at Grutenstein, who attempted to get in another shot and another as he screamed for someone to come free him from the locked room. Luckily for him, he managed to subdue the man and proceeded to cut open his head and take out his brains. He then sewed his head back together, put the brain inside his backpack and waited for the man to come back with the file. When he did, he got the file and, as the man tried to hoist the patient back into his restraints, told him "don't worry about him, he's dead". Then he walked away while the man stood aghast, looking at the patient's corpse.

    Grutenstein then proceeded to the hospital exit, but stopped as he passed a room in which a patient was being treated by a nurse. The nurse welcomed him heartily, telling him he'd been waiting for him, then gave him some salve to apply to the patient and work his doctor magic on the patient's burn wounds. Grutenstein, still bruised up from the struggle, asked the patient to go get more salve (so he could apply some to himself), thinking he could use the time in which the nurse was gone to replace the patient's brain with the one he had just acquired. The nurse, however, got someone else to go get more salve, so Grutenstein simply ended up applying some to himself and the patient. He then walked out, tired, and passed a room where he saw some of his companions lying around (Faronel, Santos, Rogunel and Skarr). He walked in, yelling out his greetings and waking up Rogunel and Faronel, who told him to take one of the beds and go to sleep.

    At this point Zenkiki's player arrived, and we worked out that Zenkiki had just travelled along with the others during the sessions the player wasn't present and thus had been staying at the same inn as the others before they had run off and burned another inn. Zenkiki had been out foraging for potion materials that morning and the previous day, and when he returned, he found the inn on fire. (Note: this is not the same inn as the one that was on fire in the last session.) Zenkiki cried out in terror, afraid the others were still inside, as well as some of his belongings, so he was quick to jump into the line with buckets to aid in putting out the fire, until it finally was three hours later. Not finding any of his friends among the wounded, he want to the hospital, knowing he could find his brother there, undoubtedly. He arrived and the jotun brothers shared a hug.

    In the meantime, Rogunel had gone looking for the man Skarr had saved from the wrecked-and-burning inn/illegal fighting ring, planning to kill him (this was the primary reason Rogunel had followed the doctors to the hospital, after all, with the others following only because they thought it would be a smart idea to get patched up first). Skarr followed him to make sure he wouldn't do anything bad, so Rogunel went into the toilet room and exited via the window, climbing along the hospital walls and checking through windows to find the guy. Skarr realized in time Rogunel was taking too long and started looking for the man as well, finding him just before Rogunel and moving to stand with his shield between the window and the man's bed. Rogunel quickly aborted the plan and went to the hospital entrance, where he met with the others.

    The party gathered, they wandered what to do next. Grutenstein and Zenkiki went to one of the shopping streets that Zenkiki had found on his way to the hospital, and they found a belt maker willing to part with two Belts of Healing -- though he first mistook Grutenstein's "I need a belt that makes me feel more alive" as asking for a belt of youth that reduced Grutenstein to a young jotun boy upon putting it on, making Zenkiki slap the salesman, as he thought it was permanent.

    Skarr and Faronel also went shopping and visited a blacksmith, where Skarr wanted to commission a shield. He offered him a looted greatsword, a silver necklace he had looted off an enemy officer once, a banner and a special horn. The jotun smith identified the horn as being special, and said he would show what it was capable of if he could get the banner and necklace for free. He then showed that if the part of the horn where you blow it was covered and then a command word was spoken, it would fill up with water or vodka. Knowing that Zenkiki loved vodka and Santos to be an alcoholic, Skarr decided to part with the horn in return for a better shield.

    The party then met up again at the town square, where Rogunel spotted a boy selling newspapers. He bought one for a silver piece and read through it.

    Serial Killer Still On The Loose!

    Arsonist Settles Inn!

    Smugglers Rumoured Hiding in Sewers!


    With the party seeming to believe the arsonry case to not be of interest to them to solve due to being involved in one such case, Skarr says that they should investigate the case of the smuggle gang. Zenkiki denies that, saying he doesn't want to get into the sewers, but that they should investigate the murders. They reach a compromise by going for the killer first, and then after the smugglers.

    The party goes to the house of the captain of the guard, who is mentioned as the last victim of the murders. Only the maid is home, as the widow is away staying with family while she mourns. It takes a bit of convincing to get her to even consider letting in the "investigators", until Skarr intimidates her. (He started off by talking before making his Diplomacy check, but I told him that his words were much more like intimidation than diplomacy.) She lets in Rogunel and Santos, as the party decides that Rogunel is the best at searching for clues, while Santos is the most charismatic and could get the maid to help. Rogunel goes inside first, but when Santos enters, he wants to be let out again right away to ask the others what he needs to do, having already forgotten it. In the meantime, Rogunel, being left along, wanders into the captain's study room and steals some crystal statuettes. When Santos and the maid return, he comes along with them to the bedchamber, where the captain was killed, being found in the morning by his wife when she woke up next to him and found him with a knife in his heart.

    The maid goes back downstairs to prepare a meal as Rogunel finds a vague footprint left on the windowsill. Santos goes to inform the maid, who then offers to make some tea for them. As Santos is downstairs, Rogunel picks the lock, makes a quick print of the footprint, climbs out of the window and onto the roof and starts searching for more footprints. As Santos returns upstairs, he finds the window open and Rogunel gone, so he goes back downstairs and informs the maid of this. She runs upstairs, finds the window open (which was supposed to be closed and locked) and starts making a fuss, telling Santos she wants him out of the house. Santos starts calling for Rogunel, which the rest of the party also hears, so Rogunel returns inside and the maid starts yelling for them to get out of the house or she'll call the guards. Rogunel tries to go out the window again, to which the maid says that he should get out the front door like a normal person. Faronel comes around the corner and aims his arm-cannon at Rogunel and tells him to go out the normal way. They go downstairs and when the door is opened Skarr and the jotuns come in. At this point the maid grabs a broom and starts hitting Rogunel and Santos, and when Skarr tries to grab one of them to pull them out and tells her to calm down, she hits him as well with a natural 20, ending up dealing 2 damage to all three of them.

    They get out and decide to go to the house of another victim, one of the town's priests (they had found out earlier from the maid that the captain, two priests, the baroness' old butler and the town crier had all been killed in the past month). They get no response at the door there, so they move on to the other priest's house, but they hear a scream on the way there, coming from another one of the temple-houses. Rogunel quickly climbs through the window as Skarr charges and breaks down the door, followed by the others. Rogunel sees the priest in a rocking chair with a knife in his chest, a cloaked man standing next to him, and an acolyte boy standing in the open doorway, right as the cloaked man lunges for the boy with his knife. He shoots the man, but fails to prevent him from stabbing the boy, and then gets a knife thrown at him. At that point Skarr barges in and attacks the man, followed by Faronel shooting the man, setting him on fire with one of his beams attacks. He then stabilizes the boy with a Blessed Bandage and Grutenstein sets to work to heal the cloaked man. Then a duo of guards come in, one of them Bob. Bob is told to get the boy to the hospital, and the other guard takes the cloaked man away, even though Grutenstein tries to convince him he'd die if moved.

    The party follows the guard to the guardhouse, where they talk to the receptionist to try and get a reward for apprehending the killer. They are led to a waiting room, after which a lieutenant comes in and tells them to lay off their weapons and come along, as they'd like to question them about what had happened. I go by each of the players, who all offer a story of what went on in the temple-house, finishing with Santos, who starts off by talking about what happened at the captain's house.

    At this point the guards questioning them take a short break, then return with additional questions after having talked to each other (and also finding out about what the suspected killer's story on the whole ordeal is). Rogunel and Santos are faced with charges of theft and breaking (even though Rogunel was technically breaking out rather than in), Faronel becomes a suspect for the three cases of inn arsonry, Rogunel is a suspect of the murder cases (the guy they apprehended having spun a tale about how he was there as a visiting acolyte from another temple when he saw Rogunel do it and the guards even know Rogunel has several daggers on him, even though they're still concealed), Grutenstein is faced with a doctor from the hospital who has legally declared him insane because he stole a patient's brain, Zenkiki refuses to speak and is therefore faced with charges of guilty-by-association and obstruction of justice and Skarr receives 2000 gp for bringing in two very likely suspects in the murder case.

    Skarr then proceeds to tell the guards Rogunel couldn't have killed the last priest, as he was with him when they heard the scream, but the charge of theft still stands. Faronel is offered a deal that if he confesses to the arsonry cases that he will get a lighter sentence, and further leniency if he testifies against Rogunel and Santos. He confesses to being guilty of one case of arsonry (the one in the previous session), but having proof he couldn't have done it the other times and being willing to aid in helping solve those cases. He further states that he won't testify against Rogunel and Santos, as he thinks those charges are unfounded (Rogunel's kleptomania is unknown to the other PCs at this point). After further deliberation, the guards decide to let Zenkiki, Skarr and Faronel go, as Grutenstein is moved to the Psychiatric Ward, becoming the new Patient #10 and Rogunel and Santos are taken to the prisons, where they see someone who looks very much like Pjotr in one of the other cells...


    At this point I wanted to call it a night, having got a perfect cliffhanger, but the players wanted to keep going. Skarr and Faronel go to talk to the doctor who declared Grutenstein insane, and Skarr intimidates the receptionist and the doctor into trying to get his way, but ultimately doesn't get Grutenstein out of it and tells the doctor he'll be back the next day.

    Zenkiki meanwhile takes to the shops and buys a disguise kit, disguises himself as a woman, including wearing a wig and garters. He then goes into the hospital and puts on an act as Grutenstein's tearful fiancee, who wants to see him one last time and say her final goodbyes, as she'll never see him again now that he's in the Psychiatric Ward. The receptionist (a different one than the one Skarr intimidated, as that one peed his pants and had to go change) eventually breaks down with Zenkiki's incessant crying and pleading and brings him down to the basement, where he leaves him with the newspaper-reading guard. He lets Zenkiki into Patient #10's room, with Grutenstein immediately realizing what is going on and giving a fake tearful welcome. The guard then locks the door as the jotun brothers are reunited and begin to hatch a plan of escape.
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  4. - Top - End - #34
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    Amidus Drexel's Avatar

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    That is hilarious!

    Ah, yes, arson: a sure sign that the PCs have been there.

    This puts the shenanigans of the party I DM'd a while ago to shame.
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  5. - Top - End - #35
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    It gets better: for their next characters, Santos' player will make a Machiavellian social manipulator, and Grutenstein's player will make a Stoner. No, seriously, that's literally the name of the class he'll be playing.
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  6. - Top - End - #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amidus Drexel View Post
    Ah, yes, arson: a sure sign that the PCs have been there.
    *waves hand*

    Long story short, we have 3 players out of jail and 3-4 IN jail. We need to find a way to get them out... TPK incoming.
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  7. - Top - End - #37
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    DrowGuy

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    Quote Originally Posted by RoyVG View Post
    *waves hand*

    Long story short, we have 3 players out of jail and 3-4 IN jail. We need to find a way to get them out... TPK incoming.

    great idea!
    what is this tpk you speak of? code for MOAR DYNAMITE?!

    [/memetic mutation]
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    My judgement is: That is awesome.
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    GM: “If it doesn't move and it should, use duct tape. If it moves and it shouldn't, use a shotgun.”
    dm is Miltonian, credit where credit is due.

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    Amidus Drexel's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by RoyVG View Post
    *waves hand*

    Long story short, we have 3 players out of jail and 3-4 IN jail. We need to find a way to get them out... TPK incoming.
    ...you could burn down the jail....

    Seriously though (well... ), does anyone have access to stone shape? (through scrolls, probably). If the prison is stone, then you should be able to get out easily.

    You could always kill the guards and break eveything else... Hrm... I'm trying to think of what the party I DM'd a while back did to get out of trouble...

    I think they mostly just pointed the evoker and cleric at the problem and lightning-bolted and flame-striked it to death. They also killed the party fighter a few times... Maybe you shouldn't follow their example.
    Last edited by Amidus Drexel; 2013-01-21 at 09:29 PM.
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  9. - Top - End - #39
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    DrowGuy

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    Quote Originally Posted by Amidus Drexel View Post
    ...you could burn down the jail....

    Seriously though (well... ), does anyone have access to stone shape? (through scrolls, probably). If the prison is stone, then you should be able to get out easily.

    You could always kill the guards and break eveything else... Hrm... I'm trying to think of what the party I DM'd a while back did to get out of trouble...

    I think they mostly just pointed the evoker and cleric at the problem and lightning-bolted and flame-striked it to death. They also killed the party fighter a few times... Maybe you shouldn't follow their example.
    eat the guards, grab support beams and other improvised weapons, add violence and voila! a perfect prison escape munchkin-card-game style!
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    regarding my choice of sustenance:
    Quote Originally Posted by Raimun View Post
    I'm going to judge you.
    My judgement is: That is awesome.
    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    GM: “If it doesn't move and it should, use duct tape. If it moves and it shouldn't, use a shotgun.”
    dm is Miltonian, credit where credit is due.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymouswizard View Post
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  10. - Top - End - #40
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    Not bad. Doesn't have anything on my PC's blowing up a mountain to win a drinking contest with an ogre. *sigh* I'm just amazed they lived.
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  11. - Top - End - #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amidus Drexel View Post
    ...you could burn down the jail....

    Seriously though (well... ), does anyone have access to stone shape? (through scrolls, probably). If the prison is stone, then you should be able to get out easily.
    I actually have weapons that deal double maximized damage to objects and ignore up to hardness 8, such as stone. Stone has 15 HP/inch, and it deals 24 damage every other round. A 1ft thick masonry wall has 90 Hp, so it will fall in 8 rounds = less than a minute

    The other one that is free can deal a lot of damage to objects using Mountain Hammer and a certain Vestige, allows him to deal lots of damage to objects.

    I think we can break them out very fast if we do it right.

    Quote Originally Posted by Guizonde View Post
    great idea!
    what is this tpk you speak of? code for MOAR DYNAMITE?!
    Total Party Kill, Morph already mentioned it in his wall of text. we almost had a functional TPK, with most of us in jail. Two of the characters that are free actually had the highest chance of getting out of prison by themselves. though I would only do it to make a statement that this prison cannot hold me.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gamgee View Post
    Not bad. Doesn't have anything on my PC's blowing up a mountain to win a drinking contest with an ogre. *sigh* I'm just amazed they lived.
    Well, there was this one time when I was a player for a short while, where I dunked the BBEG 5 miles down the mouth of a volcano. It erupted soon after, but RoyVG's character managed to save us just in time with Wall of Force and Teleport (I think one of those was from a Minor Schema, too, so we were lucky to have it ready). The only one who didn't survive that session was my cohort, who rolled triple 1s and crit-shot herself to death. The party suddenly saw her falling from out of nowhere, utterly confused, as she had been invisible the entire time she had been with us.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Morph Bark View Post
    @Roy: FYI, sometimes blue text is used on GitP to denote sarcasm or ironic humour.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morph Bark
    Well, there was this one time when I was a player for a short while, where I dunked the BBEG 5 miles down the mouth of a volcano. It erupted soon after, but RoyVG's character managed to save us just in time with Wall of Force and Teleport (I think one of those was from a Minor Schema, too, so we were lucky to have it ready). The only one who didn't survive that session was my cohort, who rolled triple 1s and crit-shot herself to death. The party suddenly saw her falling from out of nowhere, utterly confused, as she had been invisible the entire time she had been with us.
    Note: He survived the fall because of the rules stating that you can't get more than 20d6 falling damage and he had much more HP than that

    I still had a Wall of Force available, and someone else had the Teleport.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amidus Drexel View Post
    Ah, yes, arson: a sure sign that the PCs have been there.
    That is so true.
    I'm currently involved in a Shadowrun 4e game and thus far I'm the only non-self-destructive PC in the group. A quick example of how bad this team gets:
    Our team just ended a session with burning down a Sports Authority store in order to kill six people the team thought were paid to get rid of us. And no, the team had no proof those poor chaps were actually out to get *US*.

    The team--
    Stealth: Ork melee adept. Loves to record himself in our missions and then upload them to the matrix for bragging rights against megacorps.
    Eli: Ork sniper. Demands that he MUST have the largest body count on the team and succeeds. Even on non-combat missions...
    Shadow: Dwarf rigger who has an unhealthy love of machine guns on all his drones. His drones are as stealthy as a freight train.
    Jewels: Human combat mage who specializes in nothing but hand guns. I can't remember the last time he casted an actual spell...
    Lupina: Human shaman. Keeps changing her hair style and colored contact lenses every few days. Uses a lot of Invisibility spells and disguises.


    Guess which one isn't about to be murdered by Lone Star.
    Last edited by DigoDragon; 2013-01-22 at 08:31 AM. Reason: Spelling
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    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    The team--
    Stealth: Ork melee adept. Loves to record himself in our missions and then upload them to the matrix for bragging rights against megacorps.
    Eli: Ork sniper. Demands that he MUST have the largest body count on the team and succeeds. Even on non-combat missions...
    Shadow: Dwarf rigger who has an unhealthy love of machine guns on all his drones. His drones are as stealthy as a freight train.
    Jewels: Human combat mage who specializes in nothing but hand guns. I can't remember the last time he casted an actual spell...
    Lupina: Human shaman. Keeps changing her hair style and colored contact lenses every few days. Uses a lot of Invisibility spells and disguises.


    Guess which one isn't about to be murdered by Lone Star.
    Imma go ahead and guess you're playing Lupina. ("One of these things is not like the others....")
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    That's RAW for you; 100% Rules-Legal, 110% silly.
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    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    That is so true.
    I'm currently involved in a Shadowrun 4e game and thus far I'm the only non-self-destructive PC in the group. A quick example of how bad this team gets:
    Our team just ended a session with burning down a Sports Authority store in order to kill six people the team thought were paid to get rid of us. And no, the team had no proof those poor chaps were actually out to get *US*.

    Eli: Ork sniper. Demands that he MUST have the largest body count on the team and succeeds. Even on non-combat missions...
    Well, every group needs someone to help keep the party in line. (as futile as it may be...)

    Were they actually out to get you? (did you find out later, perhaps?)

    Well, to be fair, those tend to be the easiest missions to get the largest body count, because the other players aren't trying.
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  17. - Top - End - #47
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    Default Re: Self-Destructive PCs

    Quote Originally Posted by tuggyne View Post
    Imma go ahead and guess you're playing Lupina. ("One of these things is not like the others....")
    *Ding!*
    I know that the other players do love a good fire fight, but if the mission calls for stealth, I have no idea why they don't at least try to be quiet about their murdering. We have access to things like silencers and Invisibility spells, but the other players love to put themselves up on a display.
    I joked with our GM that he should call this "Michael Bay's The Shadowrunning"

    ...I couldn't tell if he was laughing or crying.


    Quote Originally Posted by Amidus Drexel View Post
    Well, every group needs someone to help keep the party in line. (as futile as it may be...)
    Were they actually out to get you? (did you find out later, perhaps?)
    I asked the GM a day after the session if that opposing group was out to get us. His answer was that no they weren't out to get us. They were bad guys who were trying to get after their own boss (a 3rd party we're also after).
    So while us killing this other group wasn't a total fail on our part, we could have used them as "Enemy of my Enemy" allies to go after the bigger bad that IS after us.

    This GM generally has the mindset that if a PC wants to become a self-destructive player, he'll gladly help accomplish the goal. Hopefully this won't be an area effect though...
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  18. - Top - End - #48
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    Default Re: Self-Destructive PCs

    Agreed! SDPs are bad enough, but AOESDPs are really bad!
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    Default Re: Self-Destructive PCs

    Quote Originally Posted by ReaderAt2046 View Post
    Agreed! SDPs are bad enough, but AOESDPs are really bad!
    If your self-destruction isn't an AOE which destroys at least the building you're standing in (leveling a city block is much more appropriate), you're doing it wrong.

  20. - Top - End - #50
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    Default Re: Self-Destructive PCs

    Self destructive PCs... kinda redundant there don't you think? Like saying Violent Axe Murderer.

    Course I had my players recently in a mission that called for either stealth, or guile. Instead they decided to Scooby Doo Villain someone (Making them think there was a ghost by use of Shaman powers), and set a town on fire "just as a distraction" to the Scooby Doo Villain scheme.
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  21. - Top - End - #51
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    Default Re: Self-Destructive PCs

    So last night I was playing Exalted with some friends, and we were in a conversation with a Dragon King, who was the head of an adventuring party that had arrived at the same tomb we had. We were getting along pretty well, until the Dragon King made some idle comment about tomb-robbing being dangerous, and my character said:

    "Speaking of danger, do you mind if I tag along with you tomorrow? I have a new magic trick I want to try, but it needs a relatively fresh corpse."

    As the GM told me later "Talking about necromancy to a Dragon King is so many degrees of wrong that he basically only refrained from killing you because of White-mane."
    Prince Fraternal of Pudding, Snuzzlepal, Feezy Squeez Lover, MP, Member of The Most Noble And Ancient Order Of St. George, King of Gae Parabolae.

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    "If they have stats, we can kill them... I'd like to point out that we also have stats..." ~ PhoenixGuard09.

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