LGBTAitP #31: Cuddles Are On Back Order. Have Some Snuggles!

[noparlpf]

Chrome.

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Interesting, it looks like Chrome doesn't know what it is but the Google search turns it up?

[Mionelle]

In hugging mood, so... *hugs all*

Also, hinking about coming out to my mother soon. Finally I feel like I'm not afraid to talk with her. ^^ But I'll see.

[TaiLiu]

Good luck!

[Hylleddin]

I'll just go ahead and try to get a few hugs by rambling about how bad i'm feeling:

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It has been a pretty awful week. I don't really know why, everything just feels kinda grey. At least the weather was beautiful for a change, which felt good for a while.
Other than that, i'm completely not motivated to do anything. Which is bad, because i started working on my bachelor thesis this week, and i've got a test in 3 weeks that includes 4 subjects, each of which would make a rather unpleasant test on its own. Since i work on my thesis during weekdays i need to study for the test on weekends, but i'm pretty sure i won't do anything this weekend.

But i don't even worry about that stuff, even though i know it is somethin to worry about. The thing is, i just feel like i have no energy left to make myself do the things i have to do. I dont even have the energy to worry about the things i can't do because i have no energy. I need 30 minutes to 1 hour to get up in the morning (I'm glad i get up at all to be honest, given that i feel absolutely great just lying around after waking up). I mostly do nothing when i'm at home, except playing Wartune on Kongregate, and i didn't even manage to call therapists this week to get an apppointment ASAP (i think/hope a therapist could help me a great deal). Granted, my telephone phobia isn't helping with that, but at least i used to call people when i had to. I don't do the dishes, even though it's my job. You could say i don't do anything which isn't directly necessary to stay alive.

I don't know why it's getting worse. Perhaps it's just too much stress, having to deal with everything at once. University, self-discovery, coping with parents and strangers...why can't i just take a break from life for a month or two <.< I don't really know how i'm gonna pass the test in 3 weeks... At least the bachelor thesis will be a piece of cake.

If i'm lucky i just need more sleep, though i'm sure a break from everything would be nice anyway.


I kinda feel like apologizing for complaining all the time, but then again that's kinda one of the reasons this thread exists. So instead thank you for reading and have a cookie.

<hug>

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I sometimes get that way when stressed. It sucks . It should get better when stress eases up, and a therapist helps too.
If your therapist has a secretary or something, maybe you could make an appointment in person? I sometimes do that when I'm having trouble calling via phone.

</hug>

[Eirala]

Thanks everyone for the hugs :)

@Hylledin:
I don't know about a secretary, but i guess i could at least try.
I'm not sure if i could bring myself to make a call in the next week.

[Asta Kask]

And now the cat has worms. Blech.

[Eirala]

So i've just wrote my first haiku ever about how i felt this week. It's German, but since i know that at least one other German person is around i'll post it anyway:

Eine Welt in grau
Wer bin ich, was soll ich tun
Schwerelosigkeit

which i can't really translate into an english haiku, but the translation by meaning would be:

A world in grey
Who am i and what should i do
Zero gravity


By the way, i'm feeling much better at the moment. I guess i worried a bit about the first time being at my parents' in girlmode, and since it went okay i'm better now. Or it's just the usual mood swings, which can be pretty extreme.

[Heliomance]

Ugh. This is no good at all.

[noparlpf]

Ugh. This is no good at all.

This is not cool.

[Coidzor]

Ugh. This is no good at all.

Indeed, the article that the petition links to makes it sound like there'd be some other things that you'd go to court over before this particular application of fraud.

Unfortunate too that the face of this issue is also kind of a creeper for having lied about his age to have sex with minors.

Kinda have to wonder at the quality of British sex ed if a 15 year old girl can't tell what their sexual partner is packing though.

[Heliomance]

Well, I just took the plunge and told the OKC girl about being trans. She's okay with it as a thing, but said she's not sure about a relationship with a trans girl - I think she's going to do some soul searching. She says she definitely wants to be friends, at the very least.

[Karen Lynn]

Indeed, the article that the petition links to makes it sound like there'd be some other things that you'd go to court over before this particular application of fraud.

Unfortunate too that the face of this issue is also kind of a creeper for having lied about his age to have sex with minors.

Kinda have to wonder at the quality of British sex ed if a 15 year old girl can't tell what their sexual partner is packing though.

If I understand, the Minor also lied about her age to him, claiming the age of consent, so...

[TaiLiu]

Well, I just took the plunge and told the OKC girl about being trans. She's okay with it as a thing, but said she's not sure about a relationship with a trans girl - I think she's going to do some soul searching. She says she definitely wants to be friends, at the very least.

A happy ending for everyone!

[Coidzor]

If I understand, the Minor also lied about her age to him, claiming the age of consent, so...

So that magically makes it not creepy for a man in his 20s to say he's 17 so he can sleep with minors? I don't buy it in the slightest.

[Heliomance]

She said she really wants to say that's fine, it doesn't make a difference, but doesn't want to discover half way through that actually it does and have to disappoint me then. She also apologised for being a poohead!

[Coidzor]

She said she really wants to say that's fine, it doesn't make a difference, but doesn't want to discover half way through that actually it does and have to disappoint me then. She also apologised for being a poohead!

Well, hopefully things work out then. Sounds like pretty good footing to proceed on anyway since you don't seem to have fallen for her at this point either.

[Heliomance]

No, I'm still at the "you're pretty cool, I'd like to get to know you better and see if we have chemistry" stage.

So that magically makes it not creepy for a man in his 20s to say he's 17 so he can sleep with minors? I don't buy it in the slightest.

The age of consent is 16 in this country - assuming he believed her when she said she was 16, as far as he knew she wasn't a minor.

Still somewhat creepy though.

[Karen Lynn]

@Helio: That's great to hear! Glad things went as well as they did.

@Coidzor: Age of Consent is Age of Consent. It doesn't normally matter the age of the partner or age of majority.

Example: US: Age of majority, 18. There are a handful of states with the age of consent as low as 16, in which a 16 year old can consent to having sex with an adult or other minor of the age of consent or greater. Yes, this means in some states, it's legal for a 16 year old person to sleep with a 40+ year old person. Creep Factor? Maybe, depends on you.

Alt Example: Florida has four year consent statute(it's been years since I lived there, and I don't remember the 'proper' name), with minimum consent of 16(Or was it 15? I forget). A 16 year old can consent with up to a twenty year old; a 17 year old can consent with a 21 year old. Creep factor? Again, depends on you.

No, I don't know Scot Law about consent, but if you're reporting the age of consent is 16, it's an easy understanding that a 16 year old could consent with an older person(Yes, 40+).

I'm not defending his actions about lying about his age, I'm just pointing out that he is not the only party in the wrong here.

[Coidzor]

The age of consent is 16 in this country - assuming he believed her when she said she was 16, as far as he knew she wasn't a minor.

Still somewhat creepy though.

Hmm, I had thought a minor is someone who isn't an adult. I'll have to go doublecheck that.

Suffice to say that if someone not an adult to me at least you're a child and sleeping with a child when one is a, pardon my french, grown-ass man is creepy even if she's 16.

[Heliomance]

@Coidzor: Age of Consent is Age of Consent. It doesn't normally matter the age of the partner or age of majority.

Yes, but traditionally the courts will turn a blind eye if the ages are close - they know perfectly well that no force on earth can stop teenagers having sex if they want to.

[Karen Lynn]

Hmm, I had thought a minor is someone who isn't an adult. I'll have to go doublecheck that.

Suffice to say that if someone not an adult to me at least you're a child and sleeping with a child when one is a, pardon my french, grown-ass man is creepy even if she's 16.

You're also equating Age of Majority with Age of Consent. There is a difference.

[Coidzor]

@Coidzor: Age of Consent is Age of Consent. It doesn't normally matter the age of the partner or age of majority.

Example: US: Age of majority, 18. There are a handful of states with the age of consent as low as 16, in which a 16 year old can consent to having sex with an adult or other minor of the age of consent or greater. Yes, this means in some states, it's legal for a 16 year old person to sleep with a 40+ year old person. Creep Factor? Maybe, depends on you.

Alt Example: Florida has four year consent statute(it's been years since I lived there, and I don't remember the 'proper' name), with minimum consent of 16(Or was it 15? I forget). A 16 year old can consent with up to a twenty year old; a 17 year old can consent with a 21 year old. Creep factor? Again, depends on you.

No, I don't know Scot Law about consent, but if you're reporting the age of consent is 16, it's an easy understanding that a 16 year old could consent with an older person(Yes, 40+).

I'm not defending his actions about lying about his age, I'm just pointing out that he is not the only party in the wrong here.

You misunderstand me. I don't care about the age of consent here, I'm not saying that he is a rapist and should go to jail for rape.

I care about the fact that it's creepy for a grown ass man to lie about his age and purposefully trawl for people who are not adults to have sex with. You can say it's not creepy and that it doesn't even pass near the gray area surrounding being predatory, but you'd have to argue it more persuasively than "well, it ain't rape."

Kids do stupid stuff all the time, so I can hardly hold it against the child for saying she was a few months older than she is when I look askance at any man who would actually purposefully try to sleep with someone who had barely turned 18 when there was a decided age difference between them.

And really, now, don't say that it depends on me if it's creepy when you're also chastising me for thinking it's creepy and saying that I shouldn't find it creepy.

You're also equating Age of Majority with Age of Consent. There is a difference.

No, I'm not. I would be much, much more negative to the point where I'd have used asterisks and [banned topics] to convey my displeasure at having to sign the petition.

[Karen Lynn]

I'm not arguing this anymore.

[Heliomance]

20 years old is perfectly young enough to be doing stupid stuff too. And I remember back when I was ~16, several of the girls in my class had boyfriends in their early 20s. It was considered something of a status symbol to have an older boyfriend.

[Coidzor]

I'm not arguing this anymore.

Thank you. I wasn't looking for a pages long discussion of my right to find something wrong without wanting to see someone hang for it.

20 years old is perfectly young enough to be doing stupid stuff too. And I remember back when I was ~16, several of the girls in my class has boyfriends in their early 20s. It was considered something of a status symbol to have an older boyfriend.

I understood him to be 22 when he actually slept with one of them. I suppose this is a cultural difference at play here, if it's so acceptable.

[noparlpf]

In my opinion it's creepy to sleep with somebody more than two years younger when either party is under twenty. That's including twenty-one and nineteen. I wouldn't call it creepy anymore once the youngest party is over twenty-four or so.

[Akowrules]

Ugh. I can't wait til I'm in college and I'm out of the hell hole I call my home, the one place I'll get Yelled at for laughing too loudly.

[Thajocoth]

In my opinion it's creepy to sleep with somebody more than two years younger when either party is under twenty. That's including twenty-one and nineteen. I wouldn't call it creepy anymore once the youngest party is over twenty-four or so.

I would be creepy to you then.

At the time: 29(me) + 29(my current girl) + 19(other girl).

We still keep in touch some...

[noparlpf]

I would be creepy to you then.

At the time: 29(me) + 29(my current girl) + 19(other girl).

We still keep in touch some...

Yeah, you've mentioned it before. Personally I find it kind of weird. One of my friends started dating a guy thirteen or fourteen years older recently, and I find it kind of weird. I'm not going to say "no you can't do it" though, if it works for you, cool. If I said people can't do things I find weird everybody would have to sit in basement rooms alone forever and humanity would die out. (At the very least sex would be illegal. And that would be a problem.)

[Castaras]

Nothing wrong with age gaps. I'm currently in a 2 year age gap relationship. We started doing sexythings at 18/20 (now 20/22). This is the smallest age gap I've dated.

The age gap isn't the important thing at teenager / early 20s. The important part is the experience gap. World experiences - so if two people are at university and are a 5 year age gap, for instance, it'd still be fine - they're in the same place, doing the same things. Work-University gap? Can work. University-Teenager gap? Much harder to work, due to the evolving of personality going on at university in comparison to school. Teenager-Teenager can definitely work for the same amount of time two people of equal age would end up doing their high school romance.