most intersting way you have seen a wish go wrong

[Saito Takuji]

i have 3 to start off with, both were by the same player, in the same game.

first one was, we had a deck of many things that the player wanted to keep, so he wished that the deck would always be with him, so it was stuck imbeded in his chest, so anytime a card was drawn from the deck, he would take loads of damage. this was fixed by adding a flap in his skin/flesh.

next instance he had wished for, cant remember the speciffics of if it was a number or unlimited, but he had wished for more wishes. wich the GM granted in the form of gaining controll of wishes that were being casted by other wizards, but they knew who took controll of the wishes.


sadly that part never came into play because the last wish (all of these were gained thru the deck of many things) was to have gone thru different schooling, basically he was trying to recreate the character, as he had rolled some nice ability scores. so the gm granted it, but the circumstances that lead him to meet the party never happened, so he had to re-roll his character from the start.


yeah this guy not the brightest of wish..... uh wishers

[NichG]

Now I'm imagining a campaign based around beings that go around and adjust Wishes based on either 'they went too wrong' or 'this result cannot be allowed to be'. The group is composed entirely of Mortals who wished for more wishes(they get to deal with more wishes for the rest of their lives)...

[killer_monk]

my father granted a wish to a man who wished "I wish I was the mostly deadly weapon in existence." so from that day forth his piss was the most powerful acid in existence and it could melt through anything. he took huge damage from doing even simple things, like relieving himself. He was eventually stabbed in the bladder(the only thing that could hold the acid) and was melted in half by his own liquids.

My father also granted a wish in which my friend asked for a single gold piece. The gold piece appeared on the ground in front of him, but when he turned to tell me he actually got a non-deadly wish he found he was standing in the 9th circle of hell. he died from balors munching his corpse.

best one i've ever granted is someone wished for some gold. They saw it was on the table in front of them, then a red dragon great wyrm busted into the tavern and killed them. moral of the story: don't steal from dragons... hehehe...

[CarpeGuitarrem]

This seems apropos... (props if you know the reference)

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[Synovia]

Adversarial DM'ing is awesome.

[Eurus]

If someone wishes to "be the most deadly weapon in existence", they kind of had it coming. o_0

One gold piece, on the other hand... well. It does seem in rather poor taste, and utterly random, unless it's an exceptionally tongue-in-cheek game. Never dealt with Wishing firsthand.

[kenjigoku]

I have never understood in the 3.5 context of wish granting where a DM punishes a player for something like a single gold piece. The spell itself states that the wish occurs without adverse effects.

...
Create a nonmagical item of up to 25,000 gp in value.
...
You may try to use a wish to produce greater effects than these, but doing so is dangerous. (The wish may pervert your intent into a literal but undesirable fulfillment or only a partial fulfillment.)

[BlckDv]

I will chime in with a reminder that Fun is subjective. I have DMed for many players who really enjoy the "Careful what you wish for" aspect out of folk lore, and I have been specifically approached by players when i was running 3.x games to ask if we could house rule out the "safety net" of wish and make any wish perilous, wishes having negative side effects is not always a result of adversarial DMing.

I recall one PC who ended up betrothed to a Blue Slaad after a poorly worded wish hoping to find true love. I wish I could recall what was said; I remember the player getting a look of horror before I even started narrating as he realized how badly it had been said.

Another time I recall a dead PC (Milo the Halfling Rogue)and a dead Animal Companion (Doyle the Dire Bat) being merged into one new creature (Doylo the Bat-thief) through a poorly worded attempt to try and get two raise dead effects from one wish. The Gnome Druid was thrilled, the now Sentient Mount was not so sure about the situation.

An attempt at the classic immortality without aging wish led to a PC having a "Vampiric aura" that kept them young by draining the life of living things near them, with a radius that grew as the amount of nearby life shrank. Led to a very tragic development of the PC.

[Synovia]

There's a difference between "Be careful what you wish for" and "You turn around and are eaten by Baalors. Roll up a new character."

One can lead to great things, the other should probably get a book thrown at you.

[Tengu_temp]

My favorite wish trick is to make the genie ask "okay, how many wishes are we talking about?" as the first thing he does when he appears. And when the players pick some ridiculously huge number, he grins and says "okay, for my first wish, I want...". It was never specified who is supposed to fulfill whose wishes here, after all! It's also a good way to force the party into performing some arbitrary task. Each time it happened they found a way to turn the situation against the genie, though.

My father also granted a wish in which my friend asked for a single gold piece. The gold piece appeared on the ground in front of him, but when he turned to tell me he actually got a non-deadly wish he found he was standing in the 9th circle of hell. he died from balors munching his corpse.

This is not only needlessly mean-spirited, but it doesn't even make any sense. It doesn't even twist the wish or take it too literally, it just adds a random negative effect just for the heck of it. An anvil out of nowhere might've as well fallen on his head.

This seems apropos... (props if you know the reference)

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Contract?

[CarpeGuitarrem]

My favorite wish trick is to make the genie ask "okay, how many wishes are we talking about?" as the first thing he does when he appears. And when the players pick some ridiculously huge number, he grins and says "okay, for my first wish, I want...". It was never specified who is supposed to fulfill whose wishes here, after all! It's also a good way to force the party into performing some arbitrary task. Each time it happened they found a way to turn the situation against the genie, though.

That's awesome.

This is not only needlessly mean-spirited, but it doesn't even make any sense. It doesn't even twist the wish or take it too literally, it just adds a random negative effect just for the heck of it. An anvil out of nowhere might've as well fallen on his head.

Yeah...the only justification I can see is "you never specified where you wanted to get your gold piece", as a way to teach players to be very specific with Wish. But that's a big-time stretch and not terribly creative.

Contract?

If there's one thing that anime has taught me, it's that you don't make contracts with anyone. It just ends badly. Although...

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Madoka does demonstrate that a well-worded wish under the right circumstances can break the game in an awesome way.

[mjlush]

I've long been of the opinion that it is impossible to phrase a spoken wish in a manner that is completely free from ambiguity.

[Archmage1]

Nonsense. You just need to have a pre-written contract that precisely describes what you want, that you have looked over several times over the last month.
Or, you know, use one of the non-risky options. Like, say, wish for a magical item. Like a ring of infinite divinely quickened wished to appear at some specified location so that you can retrieve and use it. That is not a tqistable wish by RAW, amazingly enough.

[FreakyCheeseMan]

"*insert actual first wish here*, and no mucking about, else my second wish is gonna involve finding out what happens to annoying genies when they get sucked through jet engine turbines."

[Lord Torath]

My father also granted a wish in which my friend asked for a single gold piece. The gold piece appeared on the ground in front of him, but when he turned to tell me he actually got a non-deadly wish he found he was standing in the 9th circle of hell. he died from balors munching his corpse.

Nonsense. You just need to have a pre-written contract that precisely describes what you want, that you have looked over several times over the last month.
Or, you know, use one of the non-risky options. Like, say, wish for a magical item. Like a ring of infinite divinely quickened wishes to appear at some specified location so that you can retrieve and use it. That is not a twistable wish by RAW, amazingly enough.

Yes, but you forgot to specify that you not be transported anywhere nasty, or that no ubermonsters suddenly pop up around you to kill you for the temerity of using a Wish. Or to not be struck by lightning. Or that...you get the idea.
I have always felt that wishes are supposed to be a Reward, not a punishment. So unless they wish for something outrageous, I see no reason to twist it.

[Elderand]

"*insert actual first wish here*, and no mucking about, else my second wish is gonna involve finding out what happens to annoying genies when they get sucked through jet engine turbines."

*muck up your first wish then turn you into a genie for you to indeed find out what happen when being sucked through a jet engine*

[Jack of Spades]

Yes, but you forgot to specify that you not be transported anywhere nasty, or that no ubermonsters suddenly pop up around you to kill you for the temerity of using a Wish. Or to not be struck by lightning. Or that...you get the idea.
I have always felt that wishes are supposed to be a Reward, not a punishment. So unless they wish for something outrageous, I see no reason to twist it.

Well, easy way to fix that: "Wish is to be granted in such a way that no direct or indirect harm, including but not limited to loss of limb, life, possessions, social standing, free will, or any other tangible or intangible assets held by the wisher, will be incurred by the wish granter by any objects or situations generated, summoned, provoked, or otherwise brought to the attention of any parties by the granting of the wish."

[Elderand]

Well, easy way to fix that: "Wish is to be granted in such a way that no direct or indirect harm, including but not limited to loss of limb, life, possessions, social standing, free will, or any other tangible or intangible assets held by the wisher, will be incurred by the wish granter by any objects or situations generated by the wish."

As far as I can tell, that might actually be foolproof

[Jack of Spades]

As far as I can tell, that might actually be foolproof

Eh, I found a couple holes... Edited while you quoted, heh.

The best part would be watching the genie trip over itself for the rest of your life trying to make sure that it doesn't violate the wish...

[FreakyCheeseMan]

*muck up your first wish then turn you into a genie for you to indeed find out what happen when being sucked through a jet engine*

Well, I didn't actually *make* the second wish - there's nothing to stop me from changing it/offering further speculation after getting turned into a genie. Point is, while it can be very difficult to phrase a wish so that nothing bad happens to you, it's a lot easier to phrase it to ensure that something bad happens to the genie.

Mind, if the genie is actually a malicious and omnipotent being capable of acting independently entirely outside the bounds of the wish - for instance, by randomly teleporting people to hell or turning them into genies - the issue ceases to be "Be careful what you wish for" and more "Don't piss off all-powerful creatures with sadistic senses of humor."

And that second one doesn't sound nearly as pithy.

[Vizzerdrix]

"*insert actual first wish here*, and no mucking about, else my second wish is gonna involve finding out what happens to annoying genies when they get sucked through jet engine turbines."

I've always liked offering the genie the third wish as payment so long as it assists you wording your wish so you actually get what you intend. Within reason. And I doubt they get deals like that often.

[GnomeFighter]

It seems to me that some people have taken "Twising the wish" to mean "unrelated bad stuff happens" which seems wrong to me. To be honest I don't get why DMs do this. Yes, it is traditional that wishes are twisted, but this is part of an overall use of wishes as a parable. It makes no more sense than saying "Yes, you can cast a fireball, but the people of the village you are trying to help will burn you as a witch".

However, sometimes it is better to twist the wish than say no, like the examples given by BlckDv. The players were trying to cheat the wish by getting two people raised. I would do the same in that case, as they should have used two wishes. Make them go and find a second wish to undo the mess they have made.

[Hyena]

My character once wished the genie could not grant his wish. The genie responded with teleporting my character in women's bathhouse without his gear.
Yeah, I had it coming.

[Jay R]

Some of the most fun situations occur when the player doesn't know his character has a wish. I am quite willing for a player to accidentally waste a wish this way. I had a player who was trying to convince me his brigantine armor was more protective than the rules said, and he happened to say, "I just wish this armor was as good as I thought it would be when I bought it.

So I shrugged, said, "All right, your armor now works as well as plate mail," and quietly crossed off one of the three wishes on his sword.

Other DMS are willing to go farther, and I must admit that this was a very tempting situation. In another game (with a different DM), a PC had an Arrow of Slaying. He also had a wish, but didn't know it. He said, "Man, I wish I had a b*ttload of these arrows."

So where would you deliver them?

I don't go out of my way to twist a wish. My general rule of thumb is that a Wish should go wrong only if it was in some way obnoxious, greedy, or rules-twisting, and only in a way suggested by the wish.

"*insert actual first wish here*, and no mucking about, else my second wish is gonna involve finding out what happens to annoying genies when they get sucked through jet engine turbines."

Genie: (mucks up first wish) Yes?
PC: [makes 2nd wish as above]
Genie: (disappears, reappears a few seconds later, much larger) Turns out that if you put what is essentially an anthropomorphic manifestation of a whirling windstorm through a jet turbine, it becomes much more powerful. The wrist manacles binding me to the ring got destroyed, though.
[Hilarity ensues.]

[Crazyfailure13]

The best wish i ever heard was i wish for a wish that cannot be twisted through ambiguity, the genie waves a hand, summons a table, a stack of blank paper, and a lawyer, who appeared to have been summoned from hell.

[Mono Vertigo]

[...] and a lawyer, who appeared to have been summoned from hell.

So, a regular lawyer.



I'll get my coat.

[Synovia]

The whole punishing players for wishes is just terrible. THe idea is that overreaching wishes are supposed to be treated overly literrally and have unexpected outcomes. The concept is not "You're screwed if you get a wish".


Look at an overreaching wish as an opportunity to put the characters in a ridiculous situation. Don't look at it as an oportunity to kill a character.

[CarpeGuitarrem]

Oh, I think that "when you make a wish, you are likely screwed" is a very potent paradigm. It is, after all, one of the guiding principles of the Sidhe, who will stick to the letter of a contract while using their own whims to guide the rest of the wish.

It just needs to be spelled out more up-front. But, honestly, I think that's the sort of wish generally present in fantasy, and I don't think it's just about an anvilicious Aesop about having victory given to you vs. earning it. I think it's about the reality of "there's always a catch".

[Grod_The_Giant]

True, but I feel like the twisted wish should be a form of "yes, but..." as opposed to "yes, and now DIE HORRIBLY AS BALORS EAT YOUR SOUL MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!1!!"

[Synovia]

Oh, I think that "when you make a wish, you are likely screwed" is a very potent paradigm. It is, after all, one of the guiding principles of the Sidhe, who will stick to the letter of a contract while using their own whims to guide the rest of the wish.

It just needs to be spelled out more up-front. But, honestly, I think that's the sort of wish generally present in fantasy, and I don't think it's just about an anvilicious Aesop about having victory given to you vs. earning it. I think it's about the reality of "there's always a catch".

Right, but the consequences should suit the scope of the wish.


"I wish for 1 gold coin" shouldn't really have any consequences. If you want to be a jerk, maybe the gold coin is in a currency thats not locally useful. It certainly shouldn't turn into Baalors and eat you.

"I wish to be emperor of the universe" on the other hand, has a huge scope, and is hugely open for the wish being interpreted in multiple ways.