Unenforcable House Rules You'd Like To Have

[FreakyCheeseMan]

Just what the title says - House Rules you'd impliment, if they weren't wholey unfeasible. I'll start us off.

1: The Intelligence of Wisdom of a character may not differ from that of the corresponding player by more than eight points.

[Madeiner]

2: No out of game chatting! Ever! Be serious for the entire game with no OOC for a night.

[Sergeantbrother]

3. No meta-gaming. Your character doesn't have access to he same information as you. This goes for the GM and NPC's too.

[nedz]

4. You can't always dump charisma, and if you do then you just couldn't talk your way out of situations.

[OverdrivePrime]

5. No skeeving out the other players and the GM with overly-sexualized intra-party RP.

6. No skeeving out the players by acting out as a dainty, yet randy, Southern lady who is just overcome with the vapors by the mere presence of the PCs. Particularly when you're a gigantic bearded Scotsman whose wife is in absolute stitches at the rest of the players going green with disgust.

7. No just saying 'I attack' when you're attacking. That's offensively boring, and you know better.

8. Changing the GM's mind about a previous ruling should be limited to logic and a clearly backed up verbal or written argument. Blatantly showing off the goods to momentarily stupefy the GM is unsporting, regardless of your gender.

[elliott20]

5. No skeeving out the other players and the GM with overly-sexualized intra-party RP.

6. No skeeving out the players by acting out as a dainty, yet randy, Southern lady who is just overcome with the vapors by the mere presence of the PCs. Particularly when you're a gigantic bearded Scotsman whose wife is in absolute stitches at the rest of the players going green with disgust.

7. No just saying 'I attack' when you're attacking. That's offensively boring, and you know better.

8. Changing the GM's mind about a previous ruling should be limited to logic and a clearly backed up verbal or written argument. Blatantly showing off the goods to momentarily stupefy the GM is unsporting, regardless of your gender.

... dude, what kind of games are you playing?

9. play to screw up, the climb back up is part of the fun

[Guizonde]

if only i could have one, i'd go with fair play.
10. roleplaying an asshat is fine. being an asshat is not.
spoilered for rant.

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i call myself a loony. i make sure my character is both entertaining and efficient in his given role. for example: i create a homebrewed troll paladin, he can do three things: survive houses falling on him repeatedly (thus generating a running gag), healing, and hitting things really hard. what he can't do: speak a language because he's that dumb. he did befriend the wizard, but he couldn't speak a language to save his life. was he efficient in his given role? yup, and i roleplayed him accordingly (going so far as hugging the wizard's player and petting him on the head). a great night was had by everyone, despite the fact that i basically tanked 120 guys at the same time, while the casters threw ice cubes at them.

what i won't do.

create a flavorless character based solely on the crunch, using 9 splatbooks and 3 dragon mag articles to have the most min-maxed thing ever, only to have the player go "i rock! i rule! you all suck!", and forgetting the "roleplaying" part in "roleplaying game".
i've got this kind of player in my group, and his lack of sportsmanship is really grating. although pen and paper is a team game, he tries to play it solo (with disastrous results). i've tried to talk about it to him, only for him to call me "jealous". sorry, but i much prefer my dreadlocked dwarven cleric to his generic heavy chested "omg supermodel" sorceress. at least i get to drink with the monk!

[Dust]

11. It is against The Rules to get sick and be unable to make it to game if you're the GM.

[Libertad]

12. It is against the rules to think that Kender and Fishmalks are good ideas.

[Grod_The_Giant]

13. Know how your character works. Yes, that means knowing what all your spells do.

14. Don't try to insert yourself in every scene. Let other characters have a chance to have a normal conversation.

[scurv]

15 Reap what you Sow and be mature about it when you got it coming
16 The 12 year old should not be the most mature player in the room

[OverdrivePrime]

... dude, what kind of games are you playing?

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Ugh - all of my previous ones were from an AD&D 2nd ed, and a Shadowrun 2nd ed campaign from many years ago. Elliott, you remember Forger, right? From Pimptania? Picture the dude acting like his idea of a sexy southern belle, just desperate to get in your pants. Horrifying!
And yes, whiskey was involved.

He was also the DM when the ludicrously well-endowed belly dancer in our game group decided to play unfair when it came to discussing the rules. This was the same game where I played a skinny halfling rogue who kept getting jammed into the busty player's character's cleavage and carried around, because my move rate was too slow. It was... more than slightly emasculating. I haven't played a halfling since.

17. Thou Shalt Not Bring Cheap Beer to the Game Table

18. Nor Shalt Thou Always Mooch and Never Contribute

[Guizonde]

18. Nor Shalt Thou Always Mooch and Never Contribute

QFT. that right there busted up one gaming group i was in.

19. if the dm has to call upon rule 0 more than 3 times due to your nitpicking or derailing, you are banned from the table.

[elliott20]

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Ugh - all of my previous ones were from an AD&D 2nd ed, and a Shadowrun 2nd ed campaign from many years ago. Elliott, you remember Forger, right? From Pimptania? Picture the dude acting like his idea of a sexy southern belle, just desperate to get in your pants. Horrifying!
And yes, whiskey was involved.

He was also the DM when the ludicrously well-endowed belly dancer in our game group decided to play unfair when it came to discussing the rules. This was the same game where I played a skinny halfling rogue who kept getting jammed into the busty player's character's cleavage and carried around, because my move rate was too slow. It was... more than slightly emasculating. I haven't played a halfling since.

... there is something both awesome and disturbing about that mental image... (the sexy southern belle part, not the belly dancer part, though that's awesome too)

[Logic]

20. Thou shalt care about the setting, and at least SOME of the NPCs.

[Pyro_Azer]

21: Those who attempt to start arguments about alignment shall be smote.

[ArcturusV]

Just what the title says - House Rules you'd impliment, if they weren't wholey unfeasible. I'll start us off.

1: The Intelligence of Wisdom of a character may not differ from that of the corresponding player by more than eight points.

I wonder why? But nah, I would limit it so it's an upper cap. A guy who, in real life, might have a 9 Int, is going to have a hard time properly playing a wizard with 18 Int anyway.

22: Players should be rewarded for doing something illogical and possibly suicidal if it is in character for them to do so.

The problem being? I see a situation where you want to reward the player because your Lawful Good style soldier jumped on a grenade to save his platoon. Good, heroic. He should be rewarded... but he's DEAD. That character cannot be rewarded, he just blew himself to hell for good reason. And if you give him benefits on his replacement character to go for it, it often doesn't make sense and makes other players envious.

[Guizonde]

22: Players should be rewarded for doing something illogical and possibly suicidal if it is in character for them to do so.

The problem being? I see a situation where you want to reward the player because your Lawful Good style soldier jumped on a grenade to save his platoon. Good, heroic. He should be rewarded... but he's DEAD. That character cannot be rewarded, he just blew himself to hell for good reason. And if you give him benefits on his replacement character to go for it, it often doesn't make sense and makes other players envious.

i don't see the problem, you can always make him have a parting quip to be truly badass, or anything really to bolster the roleplay. heck, even leave him a 1% chance of survival (like, say, if he shielded the cleric or something).

i'm totally with you on the buffing the reroll. that's no, just no.

[navar100]

23. Players who feel compelled to say "I'm just roleplaying" or "That's what my character would do" in response to being a donkey cavity to the party shall be flogged, tarred, feathered, and thrown out the door.

24. Yes, really, there's no such thing as a critical fumble. Never existed. Never will again.

25. When the DM is told well in advance a player is unable to play a certain day, the DM shall not schedule the next game on that day anyway.

26. The DM shall not purposely overwhelm the party with bad guys to have an NPC save them.

[Vitruviansquid]

Too many enforceable house rules here =X

27. Players shall lay down and allow me to railroad them when I want them to be railroaded, and shall take the initiative when I want them to play in a sandbox.

[Arbane]

i'm totally with you on the buffing the reroll. that's no, just no.

I'd be okay with it. If you want PCs to do things like Heroic Self-Sacrifices, reward them for it. (I remember at least one RPG which had this as an official rule - some Samurai game where life was cheap, I think.)

[mjlush]

28. Thout shalt not quote Monty Python, Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy or the Goon Show
(It always results in counter quotes and counter counter or pedantic corrections to the quotation)

I've imposed a penalty of quotes longer than 5 words... it didn't work they just did 5 words each.

[Ashtagon]

28. Thout shalt not quote Monty Python, Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy or the Goon Show
(It always results in counter quotes and counter counter or pedantic corrections to the quotation)

I've imposed a penalty of quotes longer than 5 words... it didn't work they just did 5 words each.

Or Gilbert & Sullivan.

[Sergeantbrother]

22: Players should be rewarded for doing something illogical and possibly suicidal if it is in character for them to do so.

The problem being? I see a situation where you want to reward the player because your Lawful Good style soldier jumped on a grenade to save his platoon. Good, heroic. He should be rewarded... but he's DEAD. That character cannot be rewarded, he just blew himself to hell for good reason. And if you give him benefits on his replacement character to go for it, it often doesn't make sense and makes other players envious.

If a player is willing to sacrifice his character for some higher purpose in keeping with the nature of the character, then at the very least that sacrifice should work exceptionally well. He saves the rest of the party from certain death, he manages to take the big villain down with him, the glory of his sacrifice lives on in generations to come, etc.

[Jon_Dahl]

29. One must create a character that fits the setting well (enough) and doesn't stand out like a sore thumb.

[nedz]

30. Just because your Bard has a high climb skill doesn't mean you can sing Cliff Richards songs all through the session.

[GnomeFighter]

31. If your not PCs are not in the same place you can't talk to one another. And saying "It's OOC" does not mean you can give advice on behalf of your PC. All advice given must be instantly forgotten and not be "entierly my own plan that just happens to follow what another player just said but was told they could not have said as they were 20 miles away".

[AntiTrust]

22: Players should be rewarded for doing something illogical and possibly suicidal if it is in character for them to do so.

As long as the reward doesn't turn it logical, or negate the chance of suicide and thus making it the prudent course of action.

[Studoku]

Or Gilbert & Sullivan.

I'd love to see a player quote Gilbert & Sullivan, especially if they claim to be the very model of a something.

[Mastikator]

32. All players must define their character's personality traits and behaviorism and not deviate from them overtly.

33. Players must try to roleplay their character's mental scores.

34. The DM must voice act all NPCs. Exaggeration is preferable.