Your last adventure, expressed as statistics

[Dire Panda]

Just what it says on the tin, your last adventure as a series of (preferably humorous) bullet points. Last night's stats:

• Pandas befriended: 1
• Traps outwitted: 3
  
  • Bags of Tricks abused: 1
• Traps not outwitted: 2
  
  • Rogues cheese-grated: 1
  • Cats poisoned: 1
• Traps simply bypassed with explosives: 8
• Traps simply bypassed with acid: 2
• Lycanthropic transformations: 2
  
  • Recurring NPCs ingested: 1
    
    • Pages of DM plot notes derailed: 1.5
• Characters force-fed hallucinogens by the party: 2
• Plot-critical prophecies heard by the players: 0
  
  • Additional pages of DM plot notes derailed: 0.5

Your turn!

[The Bandicoot]

Off the top of my head I can think of three.

*Number of players that had characters die:1
**Number of PCs that died: 3
***Total number of PC deaths: 5

[Sith_Happens]

Off the top of my head I can think of three.

*Number of players that had characters die:1
**Number of PCs that died: 3
***Total number of PC deaths: 5

"Hide behind the pile of dead bards!"

[Traab]

Ten percent luck, twenty percent skill
Fifteen percent concentrated power of will
Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain
And a hundred percent reason to remember the name!

Does that count as statistics?

[Doorhandle]

...yes, but I'm pretty sure those are just song lyrics.

Let's see... this one for dark heresy.

Wounds taken, total: 12
Killcount: 3 arbites, approx. 20 hive-scum, 50ish total people in the wrong place at the wrong time, and the psyker's dignity.
Surprise-round sextuple headshots: 3 from the scum alone.
Successful offhand backhands: 1
Devices kicked into functioning: 2
Stampedes caused: 1
Psykers trampled: 1, twice.
Imperial seals lost: 1
Psychics powers absued: 1, but I sure abuse flash-bang a LOT.
perils of the warp: 1
Fates worse than death found: 1
meta-moments created: 1
Horrid atmospheres ruined: 2. Both by the tech-priest
Horriblerious hallucinations: 1
Ho-yays while covered in puke: 1.
Hands stolen: 0... thus far.

[scurv]

Poison crafting rolls made:35
types of poison used: all that was listed
Doses of poison used: 120
Number of targets:1
Method of exposure: Spider fang blade delivered with a back-stab of 3x and a nat 20
Expletives because the mark managed to live: Many and colorful.

[Marillion]

Bulls fought: 3
-Bullfights sabotaged by teammates: 1
Lions danced with: 1
Wagons repainted: 1
Number of paint coats applied: 23
Noses broken: 5
Deaths faked: 2.5
Deaths of PC faked: 1
Deaths of PC faked with relevant PCs knowledge or compliance: 0
Screaming grimoires made of human flesh destroyed: 0
Number of PC's who read from grimoire: 2
Galleons found in land-locked apple orchards: 1
Percentage of team bribed, deceived, or coerced into working for Team Evil: 80%
Percentage of team already evil: 10%
Number of boar spears used as chewtoys by a boar: 2
Effect of poison: Death
Frequency and duration of poisons effect: Every phase for an hour
Doses of poison survived: 2

[Amaril]

For the Pathfinder game I just got home from:

Times ran through a fire--1

PCs immersed from head to toe in raw sewage--1

Disturbances in the Force sensed--2

One-liners uttered while kicking in doors--2

Hero insurance costs--IT'S OVER 9000!!!

We had one hell of a session

[Reltzik]

Number of rooms in the dungeon: 7.
Sessions required to clear the dungeon: 4.
Number of rooms containing primarily combat encounters: 6 plus 1 optional.
Number of rooms containing primarily skill or RP encounters: 1 optional.
Groups of dungeon guardians rescued from monsters: 6.
Groups of dungeon guardians who could actually give us a straight answer about what the next room contained: 0.
GP found: More than we could count.
GP that the leprechaun guardians let us keep: 0
PC deaths: 4.
Replacement PCs: 4
PCs turned to stone: 2.
PC deaths caused by players wanting to try out replacement characters: 4.
Pirate PCs: 1.
Times pirate PC said Arrr: Every other word.
Pirate PC hands: 0.
Pirate PC hooks: 12, in a bandoleer.
Plot hooks: 0.
Pirate attempts to swim with a hydra: 1
Survived attempts to swim with a hydra: 0
Squirrels: Several dozen.
Hostile Druid wild-shaped into squirrel form and with wild spell feat: 1.
Squirrels killed trying to kill druid: Too many.
Mind control spells cast by the druid: 1.
Cavalier's uber mount's roll for a will save: nat 1.
Players who HADN'T been secretly been waiting five levels for an excuse to kill the uber mount: Just the cavalier.
Movement speed of a dismounted, entangled gnome cavalier in heavy armor: 5 ft.
Combat uses of prestidigitation: 5.
Ride checks made against hostile creatures: 4.
Ride attempts succeeded: None.
Box texts: 40.
Effect on overall plot of campaign: 0

[TuggyNE]

Wow, these are depressing. And enlightening.

[Kane0]

- Demons/Devils killed: 1
- Languages learned: 1
- Zawmbehs killed: 4
- Zawmbehs not actually zambehs: 4
- Freaky parasitic bugs found in 'zawmbehs': 4
- Wolves killed: 5
- Wolves dissected: 1
- Wolves cooked for food: 2
- Mansions blown up: 1
- Property damage result of PC action: 10%
- Property damage result of unknown hostile entity: 90%
- Nightmares had: 1 per character
- Negative effect of nightmares: HP damage, sleep deprivation
- Villages Visited: 3
- Villages Found abandoned/destroyed: 2
- Weather changes by PCs: 1
- Turnips harvested: 324
- Dwarf Piss contributed: 2 gallons
- Wagons of Turnips escorted: 3
- Starving plebs murdered: 5/6
- Starving plebs nearly left to die: 1
- Eldritch Blasts discharged: 6
- Unintended effects of eldritch blast: 4
- Total monetary gain: 17 sp/character

[Badgerish]

Short 4ed campaign where the PCs all play Kobolds from the same tribe:

Intended session: 10
Sessions: 8
PC deaths: 10
Dead PCs mutilated: 4
Other deaths: 1 Animal Companion, 1 allied NPC
Near-TPKs: 2 (1+NPC left and 1 left)
Actual-TPKs: 1
Atempted PKs: 2
Actual PKs: 1
Halflings killed: 8
Halflings eaten: 8 (by the tribe, as TPK had happened)
Kobold Party games played: 8
Magic items acquired: 3
Actual number of magic items: 2
Magic items 'escaped': 2
Number of times Dominated:4
Number of crits while Dominated: 3
Traps encountered: 4
Traps tripped: 3
Number of times PCs got hit by a certain trap: 6
Evil cultists: 1 (surprisingly low for my campaigns)
Evil cultists left alive: 1
Goblins killed: 40ish

[Jan Mattys]

• Playing Characters: 6
• Playing Characters slain: 3
• Playing Characters gone crazy: 2
• Cultists slain: in the low thousands
• Innocents slain: in the high tens of thousands
• Rounds fired: way too many to count
• Cities devastated: 5 (New York, London, Cairo, Nairobi, Bejing)
• Money burned for "the greater good": approx. 1.1 million dollars (1927 value)
• Elder Gods encountered: 2
• Avatars of Elder Gods destroyed: 5
• Atomic Nukes detonated: 1
• Worlds saved: 1

Gotta love Call of Cthulhu campaigns.

[Totally Guy]

The last game I ran was Lacuna.

Secret Agents: 2
Miscommunications: 12
Static: 18
Sp̴id͝erme͜n: ͠1͏
H͢eart ̕Raţes:͝ ͠195̴bp̶m a͠nd ̨1̛7͏8̵b̷p͜m
҉Com̴me͡n̕d̢ati̵ón̴s͢: ̧6
͡T̷arg͘e͞t num҉be̴r:̴ 1̷1
B͝͝e͡t͞r̷̡͞a͏̨͝y͜͠a͠ls̵͟:̷́ ͘1
̷C͢r̴̡im̵͜͝i͝n͞҉a҉́l̕͡s̵͠ ̵͝r̴͘͝e͏̢for̛͢͠m̴e͏̸̧d̀͠:̡͜͝ ͞1́͠͡
̕S̀͘c̵̀͢h̶̢͟o͏͏͏o̴l̢̨̕ ͠c̶͏h̶̴i̵ĺ̢d̶r͢e͟n̢ ̨dęa̢̨̨ḑ͘͜:̴ ̧͡1̨4
S̵̨̀͜͞c̵͜͞h̸̴̢͘͢o̢̕o̡͏ļ̸͢͟ ̵̢͜c͏̸̶̕h̡̨͜i̵͡ļ͢͠͝d̷̀͟͝ŕ̛͟͜e͘҉̡͜n̶̵̢͞ ̢̀́͢n̨̧͡͝͡í͜͢g͘͢͝h̀͘͡t͘͘͠͝m̴̡̀͢͞ą̨͘͟͝r̨̕͟͜e̛͠͏:͏̴͏ ̶̛ ̵̧1҉̵4̛̕͟͡
̕͜͝͡͠T̛i̶͟m̧̕͠e̴͢ ҉̧͟e̸̕v̨͟͡é̷n̨̛͝ţ̸̷ş̵̸̡͢:̶̶́̀͏ ̶̷̀͞1͏̀́͟͜
͟͡S̵̛͝͞p̧͞҉a҉͢͡c̴̶e̷̶͞ ̴̵͟͞e̢v̷͜ę̷̢͟͠n͟͏̨͜t̨̕͢͠s̷̛:̡́͢͟͠ ̵̧͜2̴͢

H̢̢̢̪̘̖̮̀ḙ̷̛͖͓͓̮͢ͅl̸̨̼͕̥͚͔͙̲̳̻͈͝͝p̸̛̮̗̹͙̪̭̭̼͔̙͔̜̳̤ ͕͡͝.̴̴̗͚̣͇̗͚̦͖̣̳͘͟͟ͅ ̢͇̗̜̞̣̦͖͚̳͝ ̡̢̨̬̠̝̝̘͎͙̦͉̜̲̺̫̻͉̖͡T̷̸͏̸̣̠̼ḩ͓͈̭̭͞ę̵̶̧͇̪̘̞̳͖͇̟̦̙͔͉ ̹̮̩̹̞͢ ̸̥̦̫͔͞á̧̠̤͈̖̺̙̤̱͉̝̮̪̰̤͠n̶̦̳̬͓ṭ͓̜͇̯̭̱̻̺͘͠͝͠ͅș̢̯̦̯̭̟ ͓̫̖̰̖͙͇̱̙̦̹͎r̗̺͕̩̪̤̤͔̺̻̠̳͚̫̺͚̩̕͢͝e̶̩͉͔̙̺̠̼͙͖͉̜̦̜̕͢ ͝ ̴̡͘͟҉̩͈̤a̷̻͇̜̠͉͕̣̖̘̜͘͜l̵̮͇͇̰͞r͏̸̯̯̰̱̜̯̣͎̯͖͢͟͠e͏̴̩̪ ̼̗͓̤̀͘ą̷̛̘̺̖̟̲̟͈̹̥̣͉̝̰̘̩̝̖̜̀d̷̺̬̱̳̳͙̯̰̤̮̳̖̻͎͖͜ỳ̡̭̫ ͓͇̖̳̻̳̠̲̣̯̘̫ ̸̸̱̦̭̭̬͍̱̫͉̼͘͟͠í̴̢̨̜̺̟͎̹̟̳̤̰̫̖̤n̴̡͔͈̫̥̦̬̹͓̜̜̗̮̮̱͙͉ ̻͟f̪͉͔̜̹̘̝̩̩̘͕̗̼͎̘̺̥͔͜i̶̷̛͎̘̭͕͖̞̳͓̤̱̠̩̦̙̳͡ͅͅl̡͏͎̱͎ ̻͔̬̳̣t̷̨̛҉̳̻̩̞̖̲̘͎̣͙̥r̛̮̜͚͎̹̙͖̘͙̀́a̶̲͔̬̪̙̬̖̘̱̞͜t̴̰ ̟̻͚̻͙̹̦̝̮̫̝͇̝̱̪͟͠͞ͅḭ̙̻̙͇̯̟͠n̥͔͉̻͜͟g̴̴̨̢̻̬̭̱̼͇̥̘͇͙̩ ͍͚͓̟̝ͅ.̸̵̷̡͇͉̜̻̫͡ ̛̭̮̖͉̱̞̺͇̝̪͢ ̷͎̟͇̹̼̻̘A͏̶̵͟͏̰͕̰͉̪̣͙͓͔̘͚͉͙̹͚͙g̸̝͙̺̘̺̗͎͚͖̝͇̺͚͇̱̲̜͟ ͝ḛ̛̹̯̫̯̘͓͠͝ͅͅǹ͈̲̘͖̙̘̠̬͕̗͕̗̩̮̻̻̘̯͝͠t̸̡͖̜̝̝͎ͅ ̢̲͔̘͓͙̖̻̰͕͓̩̱̩͔͔n̸̻̝̞̟̳̱̟̥͙̟̳̙̠̻̦͚͕͈͘e̸̙͓̭͈̙̟̭̻̘̦͈ ̫͜͢ͅͅr͎͖̹̺͈͔̲̤̻̣̤͙͉͈͚̘͇̮͟͝ͅ.̧̨̺̼̫̺ ̸͘҉̢͎̥͚͈̬̼̖̣ ̸̡͍͙̤͉̩̭̬̮̙͘Ḩ̴̮͈͎̦̣̀͘͝ͅe҉̴̨̡̗͕͎͕̭̦̣̙̥̗̞ĺ͓̯̤̱̟̟̭͝p̶ ͖͎̘̲̩̫̭̯̠̙̟̰̮͚͎͙͜͠.̷͏̡͇̪̩̪̮̯̟͔̬̙̼̮͙̟͉͟͜ ̡̧͍̲͉̹͉̤̦̱̰̗̖̭̗͙͎͍͕̱̕͞Ṃ̵̵̶̶͓͔̳͚̠͇͕͙͔̺͠i̷̬̙̬̠͖̪̲̳͢͜ ͟͞ş̴̛̛̛͙̘̥̩̟̭͈̺̻̹s͘҉̦̱̘̥̝̙̱͍̹̗̦̻̤̯̟̯̺́̀i̶̸̶̢̭̠̤̮̖̰ ̠͍̻̤̻̫͇͇̳̙͡n̥̜͍̝̠͙̺͇̻͔̺̪͚̦̠̬͟͢ͅͅg̷̶̴̡̭̼̮̱͔̼̰͉̙͉͉̫͇ ͚͎̤̥͉͝ ̛̣̲̖̜̩̰͍̞̹͍͕̟̗̻̣́͟͠ͅi̵̡̖͕̯̬̯̺͉͇͉̣n͏̛̫̣̠̠̻̰͎̣͈̬̙͇̲̠ ̣͙ͅ ̷̛̥̹͖̙̥͈͓̦̮̖̣̥̹̹̣̩͈͝͠͠ͅͅa̴̢̖̘͉̠̮̼͈̦̗̯͔̩͎̖͍͔͕͢ç̧̢̧̬ ̩̪̗̜̬̮̫̱̱͜ͅo͓̣͈̯̰̞̣͕͍̼̱̬͘͞n͏̧̝̝͚͖̹͔͠.̶̰̱̳̤͇̱̖̪ ͚̕͡

[TuggyNE]

The last game I ran was Lacuna.

Secret Agents: 2
Miscommunications: 12
Static: 18
Sp̴id͝erme͜n: ͠1͏
H͢eart ̕Raţes:͝ ͠195̴bp̶m a͠nd ̨1̛7͏8̵b̷p͜m
҉Com̴me͡n̕d̢ati̵ón̴s͢: ̧6
͡T̷arg͘e͞t num҉be̴r:̴ 1̷1
B͝͝e͡t͞r̷̡͞a͏̨͝y͜͠a͠ls̵͟:̷́ ͘1
̷C͢r̴̡im̵͜͝i͝n͞҉a҉́l̕͡s̵͠ ̵͝r̴͘͝e͏̢for̛͢͠m̴e͏̸̧d̀͠:̡͜͝ ͞1́͠͡
̕S̀͘c̵̀͢h̶̢͟o͏͏͏o̴l̢̨̕ ͠c̶͏h̶̴i̵ĺ̢d̶r͢e͟n̢ ̨dęa̢̨̨ḑ͘͜:̴ ̧͡1̨4
S̵̨̀͜͞c̵͜͞h̸̴̢͘͢o̢̕o̡͏ļ̸͢͟ ̵̢͜c͏̸̶̕h̡̨͜i̵͡ļ͢͠͝d̷̀͟͝ŕ̛͟͜e͘҉̡͜n̶̵̢͞ ̢̀́͢n̨̧͡͝͡í͜͢g͘͢͝h̀͘͡t͘͘͠͝m̴̡̀͢͞ą̨͘͟͝r̨̕͟͜e̛͠͏:͏̴͏ ̶̛ ̵̧1҉̵4̛̕͟͡
̕͜͝͡͠T̛i̶͟m̧̕͠e̴͢ ҉̧͟e̸̕v̨͟͡é̷n̨̛͝ţ̸̷ş̵̸̡͢:̶̶́̀͏ ̶̷̀͞1͏̀́͟͜
͟͡S̵̛͝͞p̧͞҉a҉͢͡c̴̶e̷̶͞ ̴̵͟͞e̢v̷͜ę̷̢͟͠n͟͏̨͜t̨̕͢͠s̷̛:̡́͢͟͠ ̵̧͜2̴͢

H̢̢̢̪̘̖̮̀ḙ̷̛͖͓͓̮͢ͅl̸̨̼͕̥͚͔͙̲̳̻͈͝͝p̸̛̮̗̹͙̪̭̭̼͔̙͔̜̳̤ ͕͡͝.̴̴̗͚̣͇̗͚̦͖̣̳͘͟͟ͅ ̢͇̗̜̞̣̦͖͚̳͝ ̡̢̨̬̠̝̝̘͎͙̦͉̜̲̺̫̻͉̖͡T̷̸͏̸̣̠̼ḩ͓͈̭̭͞ę̵̶̧͇̪̘̞̳͖͇̟̦̙͔͉ ̹̮̩̹̞͢ ̸̥̦̫͔͞á̧̠̤͈̖̺̙̤̱͉̝̮̪̰̤͠n̶̦̳̬͓ṭ͓̜͇̯̭̱̻̺͘͠͝͠ͅș̢̯̦̯̭̟ ͓̫̖̰̖͙͇̱̙̦̹͎r̗̺͕̩̪̤̤͔̺̻̠̳͚̫̺͚̩̕͢͝e̶̩͉͔̙̺̠̼͙͖͉̜̦̜̕͢ ͝ ̴̡͘͟҉̩͈̤a̷̻͇̜̠͉͕̣̖̘̜͘͜l̵̮͇͇̰͞r͏̸̯̯̰̱̜̯̣͎̯͖͢͟͠e͏̴̩̪ ̼̗͓̤̀͘ą̷̛̘̺̖̟̲̟͈̹̥̣͉̝̰̘̩̝̖̜̀d̷̺̬̱̳̳͙̯̰̤̮̳̖̻͎͖͜ỳ̡̭̫ ͓͇̖̳̻̳̠̲̣̯̘̫ ̸̸̱̦̭̭̬͍̱̫͉̼͘͟͠í̴̢̨̜̺̟͎̹̟̳̤̰̫̖̤n̴̡͔͈̫̥̦̬̹͓̜̜̗̮̮̱͙͉ ̻͟f̪͉͔̜̹̘̝̩̩̘͕̗̼͎̘̺̥͔͜i̶̷̛͎̘̭͕͖̞̳͓̤̱̠̩̦̙̳͡ͅͅl̡͏͎̱͎ ̻͔̬̳̣t̷̨̛҉̳̻̩̞̖̲̘͎̣͙̥r̛̮̜͚͎̹̙͖̘͙̀́a̶̲͔̬̪̙̬̖̘̱̞͜t̴̰ ̟̻͚̻͙̹̦̝̮̫̝͇̝̱̪͟͠͞ͅḭ̙̻̙͇̯̟͠n̥͔͉̻͜͟g̴̴̨̢̻̬̭̱̼͇̥̘͇͙̩ ͍͚͓̟̝ͅ.̸̵̷̡͇͉̜̻̫͡ ̛̭̮̖͉̱̞̺͇̝̪͢ ̷͎̟͇̹̼̻̘A͏̶̵͟͏̰͕̰͉̪̣͙͓͔̘͚͉͙̹͚͙g̸̝͙̺̘̺̗͎͚͖̝͇̺͚͇̱̲̜͟ ͝ḛ̛̹̯̫̯̘͓͠͝ͅͅǹ͈̲̘͖̙̘̠̬͕̗͕̗̩̮̻̻̘̯͝͠t̸̡͖̜̝̝͎ͅ ̢̲͔̘͓͙̖̻̰͕͓̩̱̩͔͔n̸̻̝̞̟̳̱̟̥͙̟̳̙̠̻̦͚͕͈͘e̸̙͓̭͈̙̟̭̻̘̦͈ ̫͜͢ͅͅr͎͖̹̺͈͔̲̤̻̣̤͙͉͈͚̘͇̮͟͝ͅ.̧̨̺̼̫̺ ̸͘҉̢͎̥͚͈̬̼̖̣ ̸̡͍͙̤͉̩̭̬̮̙͘Ḩ̴̮͈͎̦̣̀͘͝ͅe҉̴̨̡̗͕͎͕̭̦̣̙̥̗̞ĺ͓̯̤̱̟̟̭͝p̶ ͖͎̘̲̩̫̭̯̠̙̟̰̮͚͎͙͜͠.̷͏̡͇̪̩̪̮̯̟͔̬̙̼̮͙̟͉͟͜ ̡̧͍̲͉̹͉̤̦̱̰̗̖̭̗͙͎͍͕̱̕͞Ṃ̵̵̶̶͓͔̳͚̠͇͕͙͔̺͠i̷̬̙̬̠͖̪̲̳͢͜ ͟͞ş̴̛̛̛͙̘̥̩̟̭͈̺̻̹s͘҉̦̱̘̥̝̙̱͍̹̗̦̻̤̯̟̯̺́̀i̶̸̶̢̭̠̤̮̖̰ ̠͍̻̤̻̫͇͇̳̙͡n̥̜͍̝̠͙̺͇̻͔̺̪͚̦̠̬͟͢ͅͅg̷̶̴̡̭̼̮̱͔̼̰͉̙͉͉̫͇ ͚͎̤̥͉͝ ̛̣̲̖̜̩̰͍̞̹͍͕̟̗̻̣́͟͠ͅi̵̡̖͕̯̬̯̺͉͇͉̣n͏̛̫̣̠̠̻̰͎̣͈̬̙͇̲̠ ̣͙ͅ ̷̛̥̹͖̙̥͈͓̦̮̖̣̥̹̹̣̩͈͝͠͠ͅͅa̴̢̖̘͉̠̮̼͈̦̗̯͔̩͎̖͍͔͕͢ç̧̢̧̬ ̩̪̗̜̬̮̫̱̱͜ͅo͓̣͈̯̰̞̣͕͍̼̱̬͘͞n͏̧̝̝͚͖̹͔͠.̶̰̱̳̤͇̱̖̪ ͚̕͡

How did you do that.

[Mr Adventurer]

That doesn't work with most devices.

[Eldan]

Let's see, last session, from what I remember:

Traps disarmed: 1
Earthquakes survived from the inside: 1
Giant biomechanical dragonflies entered: 1
Small biomechanical dragonfly mount acquired: 1
Grappling hooks used: 1
Books of secret code stolen: 1
Undead paladins leaving the party: 1
Petrified detectives looted: 1

Looking at the entire adventure, I can add:

Mimir's used to replace people's skulls: 1
Living armour grafted on skeletons: 1
Secret lairs stormed: 1
Mad preachers thrown into earthquake fissures: 1
Mistaken identities: 2
Nice cup of tea with an ogre mage: 1

[Jay R]

Enemy troops faced: 3,000
Enemy troops defeated with weapons or magic: 0
Enemy troops defeated with bourbon: 3,000

Evil priests found in orphanages: 1
Evil priests found in Lawful Good religious temples: 1
Evil priests found elsewhere: 0

Attack rolls made: 0
Saving throws made: 0

PC parents offended: 1

[Reynard]

Enemies:
Hobgoblins Seen: Many Lots
Hobgoblins Fought: 54
Hobgoblins Killed: 53
Interrogations made: 1
Dogrens Fought: 15
Dogrens Killed: 14
Dragons Seen: 2 or 3
Dragons Killed: 1

Natural 1s:
Of Party: 22
Of Party Paladin: 18

Misc:
Inappropriate uses of fire: 3
Appropriate uses of fire: 2
Alcohol Bought: All Available
Alcohol consumed by creatures: 70%
Alcohol consumed by fire: 20%
Alcohol lost to the annals of history: 10%
Debates about Existence of Bridges: 6
Debates about Bridge Construction: 4
Time taken to destroy Bridge: 6 Rounds

Progress made in adventure: 15%

[OverdrivePrime]

These are great.
Here's from the last session I ran.

Mission: Go upstairs, avoid getting killed by Zassrion the Adult Blue Dragon, and make off with the magical scarf that will let the players escape the harrowed realm.

Number of player characters in session: 4
Number of dragons to be encountered: 1
Weeks of pre-game planning available to players: 3
Weeks of pre-game planning used by players: 0.28
In-session (in character) planning hours: 1.5
Hours spent in the dragon's walking fortress: 108
Hours the dragon has been aware of the characters: 107
Hours spent camped at the foot of the stairs leading up to the dragon's lair: 10
Hours since the dragon buffed up for battle: 3.5
Minutes it took for the Duskblade to throw all of everyone's plans into total disarray once the plan went into action: 3
Total in-session DM facepalms: 8
Total in-session beers consumed by DM: 4
Total time taken for the intricate sneak & retrieve plan to dissolve into frontal assult: 2 rounds
Total number of combat rounds engaged with dragon: 5
Total number of combat rounds the Duskblade spent engaged with dragon: 0
Total number of combat rounds the Duskblade spent looting the dragon's lair: 5
Number of spells flung to minimal effect against a fully prepared dragon: 7
Total number of PCs brought to under 60% hit points: 3
Total number of PCs brought to under 30% hit points: 1
Total rounds the dragon spent blind: 2
Number of dragons desperately shoryukened by the battle librarian Archivist: 1
Total number of natural 1s rolled by the DM for the dragon: 3
Number of luckiest archivists in the world: 1
Total street value of dragon's loot: 59,415gp

[Angel Bob]

Number of kobolds defeated in combat: 7
Number of kobolds force-fed marijuana: 20
Number of dead bodies desecrated: 4

Number of encounters: 6
Number of extended rests: 2
Number of encounters intended to dissuade players from the 15-minute workday: 2
Number of encounters that actually dissuaded players from the 15-minute workday: 0

Number of sexual acts between a dwarf and a grizzly bear: 1

These are great.
Here's from the last session I ran.

[B]Total number of combat rounds engaged with dragon: 5
Total number of combat rounds the Duskblade spent engaged with dragon: 0
Total number of combat rounds the Duskblade spent looting the dragon's lair: 5

Ouch, I've had that before -- except in my case, it was 1/3 of the party. That was the only encounter we've ever had that legitimately killed a PC (naturally, it was mine).

[arguskos]

Mission: Clear out an undead-infested dwarven mine, retrieve as much uncut onyx as possible, and return to town.

Party members: 4 + NPC
Number of times torches were used in combat: 2
Skeletons rebuked: 22
Skeletons destroyed by turning: 8
Skeletons destroyed total: 25
Illusions shot: 1
Bad life choices made: 3
Number of arguments between party members as to who works for whom: 2
Pounds of onyx retrieved: 17
Number of gold bars received: 7
Number of silver bars received: 11
Number of dogs walked on pizza break: 2
Slices of buffalo chicken pizza consumed by DM: 5
Shots of alcohol ingested by DM: 4
Traps discovered: 1
Traps tripped: 2
Deaths: 0
Healing potions left: 0

[OverdrivePrime]

Ouch, I've had that before -- except in my case, it was 1/3 of the party. That was the only encounter we've ever had that legitimately killed a PC (naturally, it was mine).

Luckily, the dragon rolled a 1 on his save against the Archivist's Slay Living spell, or I probably would have wound up with 3 dead PCs and one Duskblade shoulder-deep in trouble.

[A Tad Insane]

Number of times 'Gumbo' wa mentioned: 12
* Times gumbo was eaten: 4

Number of elves punched: 9

Ways that the dwarf chef tried to get elves to eat poisoned gumbo: 43

Elven causalties: 3

[AcerbicOrb]

Attempts to set up party members with bandits of the same race: 1 (and counting)

[OverdrivePrime]

Bad life choices made: 3

Okay, I'm totally keeping a tally of this in my game from now on. I expect this to rapidly climb past 100 by summer. Particularly since my PCs are playing as themselves.

[Asmodai]

* Museums burned down: 1
* Artifacts of doom painstakingly pocketed for later abuse: 1
* Foot stuck in mouth: 7
* Common people utterly freaked out: 3
* Number of times punched in the face for being of the wrong nationality: 1

[Marillion]

The last game I ran was Lacuna.

Secret Agents: 2
Miscommunications: 12
Static: 18
Sp̴id͝erme͜n: ͠1͏
H͢eart ̕Raţes:͝ ͠195̴bp̶m a͠nd ̨1̛7͏8̵b̷p͜m
҉Com̴me͡n̕d̢ati̵ón̴s͢: ̧6
͡T̷arg͘e͞t num҉be̴r:̴ 1̷1
B͝͝e͡t͞r̷̡͞a͏̨͝y͜͠a͠ls̵͟:̷́ ͘1
̷C͢r̴̡im̵͜͝i͝n͞҉a҉́l̕͡s̵͠ ̵͝r̴͘͝e͏̢for̛͢͠m̴e͏̸̧d̀͠:̡͜͝ ͞1́͠͡
̕S̀͘c̵̀͢h̶̢͟o͏͏͏o̴l̢̨̕ ͠c̶͏h̶̴i̵ĺ̢d̶r͢e͟n̢ ̨dęa̢̨̨ḑ͘͜:̴ ̧͡1̨4
S̵̨̀͜͞c̵͜͞h̸̴̢͘͢o̢̕o̡͏ļ̸͢͟ ̵̢͜c͏̸̶̕h̡̨͜i̵͡ļ͢͠͝d̷̀͟͝ŕ̛͟͜e͘҉̡͜n̶̵̢͞ ̢̀́͢n̨̧͡͝͡í͜͢g͘͢͝h̀͘͡t͘͘͠͝m̴̡̀͢͞ą̨͘͟͝r̨̕͟͜e̛͠͏:͏̴͏ ̶̛ ̵̧1҉̵4̛̕͟͡
̕͜͝͡͠T̛i̶͟m̧̕͠e̴͢ ҉̧͟e̸̕v̨͟͡é̷n̨̛͝ţ̸̷ş̵̸̡͢:̶̶́̀͏ ̶̷̀͞1͏̀́͟͜
͟͡S̵̛͝͞p̧͞҉a҉͢͡c̴̶e̷̶͞ ̴̵͟͞e̢v̷͜ę̷̢͟͠n͟͏̨͜t̨̕͢͠s̷̛:̡́͢͟͠ ̵̧͜2̴͢

H̢̢̢̪̘̖̮̀ḙ̷̛͖͓͓̮͢ͅl̸̨̼͕̥͚͔͙̲̳̻͈͝͝p̸̛̮̗̹͙̪̭̭̼͔̙͔̜̳̤ ͕͡͝.̴̴̗͚̣͇̗͚̦͖̣̳͘͟͟ͅ ̢͇̗̜̞̣̦͖͚̳͝ ̡̢̨̬̠̝̝̘͎͙̦͉̜̲̺̫̻͉̖͡T̷̸͏̸̣̠̼ḩ͓͈̭̭͞ę̵̶̧͇̪̘̞̳͖͇̟̦̙͔͉ ̹̮̩̹̞͢ ̸̥̦̫͔͞á̧̠̤͈̖̺̙̤̱͉̝̮̪̰̤͠n̶̦̳̬͓ṭ͓̜͇̯̭̱̻̺͘͠͝͠ͅș̢̯̦̯̭̟ ͓̫̖̰̖͙͇̱̙̦̹͎r̗̺͕̩̪̤̤͔̺̻̠̳͚̫̺͚̩̕͢͝e̶̩͉͔̙̺̠̼͙͖͉̜̦̜̕͢ ͝ ̴̡͘͟҉̩͈̤a̷̻͇̜̠͉͕̣̖̘̜͘͜l̵̮͇͇̰͞r͏̸̯̯̰̱̜̯̣͎̯͖͢͟͠e͏̴̩̪ ̼̗͓̤̀͘ą̷̛̘̺̖̟̲̟͈̹̥̣͉̝̰̘̩̝̖̜̀d̷̺̬̱̳̳͙̯̰̤̮̳̖̻͎͖͜ỳ̡̭̫ ͓͇̖̳̻̳̠̲̣̯̘̫ ̸̸̱̦̭̭̬͍̱̫͉̼͘͟͠í̴̢̨̜̺̟͎̹̟̳̤̰̫̖̤n̴̡͔͈̫̥̦̬̹͓̜̜̗̮̮̱͙͉ ̻͟f̪͉͔̜̹̘̝̩̩̘͕̗̼͎̘̺̥͔͜i̶̷̛͎̘̭͕͖̞̳͓̤̱̠̩̦̙̳͡ͅͅl̡͏͎̱͎ ̻͔̬̳̣t̷̨̛҉̳̻̩̞̖̲̘͎̣͙̥r̛̮̜͚͎̹̙͖̘͙̀́a̶̲͔̬̪̙̬̖̘̱̞͜t̴̰ ̟̻͚̻͙̹̦̝̮̫̝͇̝̱̪͟͠͞ͅḭ̙̻̙͇̯̟͠n̥͔͉̻͜͟g̴̴̨̢̻̬̭̱̼͇̥̘͇͙̩ ͍͚͓̟̝ͅ.̸̵̷̡͇͉̜̻̫͡ ̛̭̮̖͉̱̞̺͇̝̪͢ ̷͎̟͇̹̼̻̘A͏̶̵͟͏̰͕̰͉̪̣͙͓͔̘͚͉͙̹͚͙g̸̝͙̺̘̺̗͎͚͖̝͇̺͚͇̱̲̜͟ ͝ḛ̛̹̯̫̯̘͓͠͝ͅͅǹ͈̲̘͖̙̘̠̬͕̗͕̗̩̮̻̻̘̯͝͠t̸̡͖̜̝̝͎ͅ ̢̲͔̘͓͙̖̻̰͕͓̩̱̩͔͔n̸̻̝̞̟̳̱̟̥͙̟̳̙̠̻̦͚͕͈͘e̸̙͓̭͈̙̟̭̻̘̦͈ ̫͜͢ͅͅr͎͖̹̺͈͔̲̤̻̣̤͙͉͈͚̘͇̮͟͝ͅ.̧̨̺̼̫̺ ̸͘҉̢͎̥͚͈̬̼̖̣ ̸̡͍͙̤͉̩̭̬̮̙͘Ḩ̴̮͈͎̦̣̀͘͝ͅe҉̴̨̡̗͕͎͕̭̦̣̙̥̗̞ĺ͓̯̤̱̟̟̭͝p̶ ͖͎̘̲̩̫̭̯̠̙̟̰̮͚͎͙͜͠.̷͏̡͇̪̩̪̮̯̟͔̬̙̼̮͙̟͉͟͜ ̡̧͍̲͉̹͉̤̦̱̰̗̖̭̗͙͎͍͕̱̕͞Ṃ̵̵̶̶͓͔̳͚̠͇͕͙͔̺͠i̷̬̙̬̠͖̪̲̳͢͜ ͟͞ş̴̛̛̛͙̘̥̩̟̭͈̺̻̹s͘҉̦̱̘̥̝̙̱͍̹̗̦̻̤̯̟̯̺́̀i̶̸̶̢̭̠̤̮̖̰ ̠͍̻̤̻̫͇͇̳̙͡n̥̜͍̝̠͙̺͇̻͔̺̪͚̦̠̬͟͢ͅͅg̷̶̴̡̭̼̮̱͔̼̰͉̙͉͉̫͇ ͚͎̤̥͉͝ ̛̣̲̖̜̩̰͍̞̹͍͕̟̗̻̣́͟͠ͅi̵̡̖͕̯̬̯̺͉͇͉̣n͏̛̫̣̠̠̻̰͎̣͈̬̙͇̲̠ ̣͙ͅ ̷̛̥̹͖̙̥͈͓̦̮̖̣̥̹̹̣̩͈͝͠͠ͅͅa̴̢̖̘͉̠̮̼͈̦̗̯͔̩͎̖͍͔͕͢ç̧̢̧̬ ̩̪̗̜̬̮̫̱̱͜ͅo͓̣͈̯̰̞̣͕͍̼̱̬͘͞n͏̧̝̝͚͖̹͔͠.̶̰̱̳̤͇̱̖̪ ͚̕͡

Beautiful

ETA: lolwut. Now I'm actually weirded out a little.

[Vknight]

So this is a long one a doozy

Spoiler

Show

Number of Players: 8
Number of Players able to attend session: 7
Number of Players actually at session: 6
Hours of Session: 3.5
Number of scenes with Edna: 6
Number of scenes: 9
Number of scenes with other PC's: 6
Number of Elder Gods Insulted: 1
Eyes Restored: 1
Demons Released from there Prison: 2
Demons Encountered by the Party: 0
Fights: 1
Fights Won: 1
PC's left emotional crippled after a fight: 3
PC's actually in the fight: 1
PC's in the hospital for the fight last session: 2(3 Counting the guy that couldn't make it that told me)
Number of Inappropriate Uses of Powers: 2
Number of Inappropriate Uses by PC's: 1
Number of Uses Influenced By PC's: 2
Number of Drunk PC's: 2
Number of Drunk NPC's: 7
Number of Drunk Students: 6
Number of Drunk Monsters: 3
Number of Drunken Scenes: 1
Number of People waking up in the same Bed: 2
Number of those people that are PC's: 2
Number of those people that are Cats: 1
Number of Cats chased by Giant Tarantula: 1
Number of Exploding Cats: 1
Number of Cat Explosions: 11
Number of Cats: 1
Number of NPC's introduced: 5
Plot Mysteries Introduced: 1
Amount of People Effected By This Mystery: 3, (2 NPC's, 1 PC)
Number of PC's Kidnapped: 1
Number of Inter-planar Cities Invaded: 1
Number of Nurses: 3
Number of Nurses secretly an Elder God: 1
Number of Flashback: 5
Number of Flashbacks Involving Edna and/or Joanne: 4
Number of Traffic Lights Stolen: 1
Number of Attempts to Steal Traffic Lights: 3
Number of Attempts over the campaign: 5
Number of Slendermen Appearing: 0
Number of times Neutrality was said: 30+
Number of times it was said by the Elder God: 25+
Elder Gods Goals Accomplished: 0
Elder God Goals: 0
Elder Gods siding in Fight: Neutral
Times Silent Hill was mentioned: 3
Weeks in game until they go too Silent Hill: 2
Days they will be spending there: 5
Alternate Universes Entered: 5
Alternate Universes Entered By 1 PC: 4
Alternate Universes the Cat visited: 5
Friend Requests Sent to Pyramid Head: 2
Attempts at healing PCs by the Elder God: 3
Attempts stopped or hindered: 2
Amount of PCs that think the Elder God is the Devil: 1
Amount of Time in game that passed: 18 Hours
Sessions Until they were to find out about the Elder God: 10+
Sessions Until any were to be kidnapped: 2+
Times Elder God was left alone with 1 PC: 1
Times Elder God was left alone with NPC's: To many
Amount of PC's sharing a bed(if not a room) for safety: All
NPC's kissed: 1
Cats used as thrown weapon: 1
Goblin Hordes slain: Several Dozen
Prisons Destroyed: 1
Little Girls Trapped in Alternate Dimensions: 1
Number of PC's trapped in Alternate Dimensions: 2
PC's that were only in 1 scene: 2
Longest Scene: 1 Hour
PC's that were in that scene: 4
PC's that are aware of Edna being kidnapped: 1
Time Until PC gets back to Party: 6 Hours minimum, 3 day maximum
Number of Ancient Raven Women who feast on eyes scarred by Elder God: 1
Number of PC's combat ready for next session: 3
XP awarded: 2

[Octopusapult]

• Zombies / Undead Killed : est 3,000
• Explosions Caused : 3
• PC's killed : Surprisingly, one. (Unsurprisingly, in an explosion.)
• NPC Allies Killed : 3
• Times Screaming the Dramatic "NOOOO!" : 3 (one for each NPC ally. We actually liked those guys.)
• Campaign Completed? : Nope. Didn't finish it before I moved away. (I was DMing)