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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Shinidamachū, The Soul Collectors (3.5)


    Creature's Name: Shinidamachū, The Soul Collectors
    Size and Type: Large Aberration
    Hit Dice: 6d8+6 (33)
    Initiative: +3
    Speed: 5 ft. / 50 ft. Flight (Good)
    Armor Class: 15 (+3 Dex, +3 Natural, -1 Size), Touch 12, Flat-Footed 12
    BAB / Grapple: +4 / +8
    Attack: Bite +2 melee (1d6)
    Space / Reach: 10 ft. (long) / 5 ft.
    Special Attacks: Knell, Spell-Like Abilities
    Special Qualities: Blind, DR 2/Silver, Incorporeal Shift, Soulsense
    Saves: Fort +3, Ref +5, Will +8
    Abilities: Str 8, Dex 16, Con 13, Int 12, Wis 16, Cha 14
    Skills: Hide 9 ranks (+8), Listen 6 ranks (+9), Move Silently 6 ranks (+9), and Survival 6 ranks (+9)
    Feats: Dodge, Fly-By Attack B, Mobility, Hover
    Environment: Any
    Organization: Solitary, Pair, or Pack (3-6)
    Challenge Rating: 4
    Treasure: None
    Alignment: Always Neutral
    Advancement: 7 - 10 HD (Large), 11-18 HD (Huge)
    Level Adjustment: ---

    Once thought as demons, these aberrations appear to be long eel/insect-like serpents, with a single claw attached to the underside of the soul collector's frilled neck. They were feared and hunted as they fed off the dying creature's souls. However, most are evasive and not violent; most will flee if attacked. They are roughly 12 ft. long and weight about 85 to 90 pounds.

    Soul collectors cannot speak, although they seem to be able to communicate with each other with soft coos and chirps. Despite being unable to speak, they can understand several languages: Common, Dwarven, Elven, Goblin, and Orcish.

    Combat

    Flight (Su):
    Soul collector's have a fly speed of 50 ft. with good maneuverability.

    Incorporeal Shift (Ex):
    As a swift action, the soul collector can become incorporeal for 1 round. The soul collector typically uses this ability to move through physical barriers, such as walls or ceilings, or while attempting an escape from danger. While incorporeal it cannot physically attack targets, but its natural armor becomes a deflection bonus.

    Knell (Su):
    If a creature within 30 ft. of a soul collector has 1 or fewer hit points, that creature must make a will save (DC 10 + 1/2 Racial Level + Charisma modifier) to resist having the creature's soul drawn out of the body, moving to be held in the six fingered claw beneath the soul collector's head. Strangely, when the soul collector does this, the soul becomes visible to the naked eye, a medium sized cloud of blue-white mist, which radiates faint light and flutters like a candle flame.

    Creatures drained of their souls die instantly and cannot be resurrected, unless a wish or miracle spell is used. If the soul collector is slain while transporting a soul, the soul returns to the body if still within 100 ft. of the body. If farther than that, the soul floats for a few minutes then passes on and the slain creature can be resurrected as normal. A new soul collector can grab the floating soul by moving through the 5 ft. square where the soul floats.

    While holding a soul, the soul collector has Regeneration 2 and a +2 enhancement bonus to Dexterity. The soul collector's regeneration is bypassed by silver weapons, just as it's damage reduction.

    Soulsense (Ex):
    Soul Collectors are blind, using their ability to sense souls to find the newly dead creatures that they feed upon. Soul collectors have the constant ability to sense any newly deceased creatures within 1 mile of their location. Normally, Soul collectors will travel towards a newly dead creature, but will only attempt to take the creature's soul during the night.

    Soul collectors can also automatically sense any living or undead within 100 ft., as if it had blindsense. Creatures that are neither living nor undead, such as constructs, cannot be sensed with this ability.

    Spell-Like Abilities (CL 11th):
    3 / Day - Mage Armor
    1 / Day - Mind Fog, Mislead
    Last edited by LordErebus12; 2013-04-17 at 05:10 PM.
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  2. - Top - End - #2
    Troll in the Playground
     
    PirateGirl

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    Default Re: Shinidamachū, The Soul Collectors (3.5)

    It's really unbalanced. First, it only has 3 HD with CL 11 for spell-like abilities. CL should be no higher than 6th (within 3 levels of HD). It probably needs more HD to be balanced. What challenge rating are you aiming at? I'd recommend increasing it to 6 HD and have CL be the same as HD so it can scale with the creature.

    It should be able to understand at least 2 languages even if it can't speak. It has an Int 12. You could consider giving them telepathy.

    I'm not even sure that the claw at the neck frill makes a suitable weapon. Does it have reach? If not, it can only attack creatures that enter its space.

    What happens to the target when its soul is collected? You mention what happens to the soul but not the actual target.

    Blind should be added to Special Qualities. Blind creatures automatically fail Spot checks. See blind condition. Giving it Spot as a Skill is odd for this reason. It should have Listen and maybe a racial bonus to Listen.

    Advancement is off too.

    Debby
    P.E.A.C.H. Please Evaluate And Critique Honestly. Being nicer and kinder doesn't hurt either. Note I generally only critique 3.5 and Pathfinder material.
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  3. - Top - End - #3
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Shinidamachū, The Soul Collectors (3.5)

    Quote Originally Posted by Debihuman View Post
    It's really unbalanced. First, it only has 3 HD with CL 11 for spell-like abilities. CL should be no higher than 6th (within 3 levels of HD). It probably needs more HD to be balanced. What challenge rating are you aiming at? I'd recommend increasing it to 6 HD and have CL be the same as HD so it can scale with the creature.

    It should be able to understand at least 2 languages even if it can't speak. It has an Int 12. You could consider giving them telepathy.

    I'm not even sure that the claw at the neck frill makes a suitable weapon. Does it have reach? If not, it can only attack creatures that enter its space.

    What happens to the target when its soul is collected? You mention what happens to the soul but not the actual target.

    Blind should be added to Special Qualities. Blind creatures automatically fail Spot checks. See blind condition. Giving it Spot as a Skill is odd for this reason. It should have Listen and maybe a racial bonus to Listen.

    Advancement is off too.

    Debby
    Ill review it all by tomorrow and make some edits.

    i disagree with the languages, its quite intelligent but not familiar with languages. Its an aberration, why must it follow a set rule like that? They dont speak and cannot understand languages they are not exposed to. they are alien to such concepts.

    I wanted no attacks, but i added it in there for the off chance a DM wants it to attack.

    CL 11 is the minimum level for casting 6th level spells, so it should stay there. Also, many creatures in the manuals have CL much higher than the actual HD. Also, the spell-like abilities are non-aggressive in effect, more for a quick get away and such, so i dont mind it being way higher.

    souls taken from creatures cause the creature to die. Also, i may have it so it cannot be resurrected without a wish or miracle.

    blind and the spot checks I agree with.

    As for CR, the point is the creature isn't all that aggressive or powerful, meaning its prolly very low CR wise.

    Advancement? how so?
    Last edited by LordErebus12; 2013-04-15 at 10:30 PM.
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  4. - Top - End - #4
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Shinidamachū, The Soul Collectors (3.5)

    increased its base HD and made some slight fixes.
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  5. - Top - End - #5
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    inuyasha's Avatar

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    Default Re: Shinidamachū, The Soul Collectors (3.5)

    :D you statted it up! Thank you, I do need to say though, why is it large? They didnt seem that big in the show :P
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  6. - Top - End - #6
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Shinidamachū, The Soul Collectors (3.5)

    Quote Originally Posted by inuyasha View Post
    :D you statted it up! Thank you, I do need to say though, why is it large? They didnt seem that big in the show :P
    good point.

    it was the fact that they are 12+ ft.

    Large (long), like horses
    Last edited by LordErebus12; 2013-04-17 at 12:04 AM.
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    PirateGirl

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    Default Re: Shinidamachū, The Soul Collectors (3.5)

    With regard to language: any creature that has better than average human intelligence should be able to understand languages even if they can't speak them. Being an aberration doesn't preclude it from knowing a language. If these had lower Intelligence scores, it would make sense. If it is looking for souls, being able to understand its prey would make it a better hunter.

    Advancement should start with 7 HD now that you've increased it to 6 HD.
    Advancement: 7-10 HD (Large), 11-18 HD (Huge).

    Debby
    P.E.A.C.H. Please Evaluate And Critique Honestly. Being nicer and kinder doesn't hurt either. Note I generally only critique 3.5 and Pathfinder material.
    Please, please, please when using non-core material, cite to the books. There are too many books to wade through to find the one with the feat, special ability or spell you use.
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    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Shinidamachū, The Soul Collectors (3.5)

    Quote Originally Posted by Debihuman View Post
    With regard to language: any creature that has better than average human intelligence should be able to understand languages even if they can't speak them. Being an aberration doesn't preclude it from knowing a language. If these had lower Intelligence scores, it would make sense. If it is looking for souls, being able to understand its prey would make it a better hunter.

    Advancement should start with 7 HD now that you've increased it to 6 HD.
    Advancement: 7-10 HD (Large), 11-18 HD (Huge).

    Debby
    fair enough, let me make the changes.

    Edit: it knows several languages, but still cannot speak them.

    Edit: Advancement Fixed
    Last edited by LordErebus12; 2013-04-17 at 01:22 PM.
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  9. - Top - End - #9
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    PirateGirl

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    Default Re: Shinidamachū, The Soul Collectors (3.5)

    It's hit points should be 33. 6x4.5=27 +6 = 33.

    It has 27 skill ranks to use. It seems to be a skill short unless my math is wrong.
    Hide +8 (+ 9 ranks -4 size + 3 Dex)

    I'm guessing CR 4.

    Debby
    P.E.A.C.H. Please Evaluate And Critique Honestly. Being nicer and kinder doesn't hurt either. Note I generally only critique 3.5 and Pathfinder material.
    Please, please, please when using non-core material, cite to the books. There are too many books to wade through to find the one with the feat, special ability or spell you use.
    my creations in homebrew signature thread

  10. - Top - End - #10
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Shinidamachū, The Soul Collectors (3.5)

    Quote Originally Posted by Debihuman View Post
    It's hit points should be 33. 6x4.5=27 +6 = 33.

    It has 27 skill ranks to use. It seems to be a skill short unless my math is wrong.
    Hide +8 (+ 9 ranks -4 size + 3 Dex)

    I'm guessing CR 4.

    Debby
    okay, fixed it. hp is 33, upped its hide by one, and added CR 4
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