A Monster for Every Season: Summer 2
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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Flail_master's Avatar

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    Default Campaign Quotes, NO CONTEXT EDITION!

    "It's canon now! The tree is a Nazi!"


    NO CONTEXT, JUST QUOTES!
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    Half-Elf Paladin was made by BRC



    Dwarf Barbarian made by Silversnowe


    GENERATION 15: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig and add 1 to the generation. social experiment.

    DEGENERATION 93: Copy this into your sig and subtract 1 from the degeneration when you first see it. This is an antisocial experiment.

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Firbolg in the Playground
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    Oct 2012
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    Boston, MA
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, NO CONTEXT EDITION!

    "No worries, the wolverine got it...do we have a fighter, by the way?"

  3. - Top - End - #3
    Banned
     
    Griffon

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    Feb 2011

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, NO CONTEXT EDITION!

    "What's the blast radius of a mouse?"

    "I took the wrong 5 ft step."

    "I gather all my magical energy and blow up."

    "Bull rush me."

  4. - Top - End - #4
    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Apr 2011
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, NO CONTEXT EDITION!

    "If only I had a 20th-level Truenamer right now..."

    This was in-character.
    On creating medieval thermobaric detonations:
    Quote Originally Posted by Ravens_cry View Post
    *strokes chin*
    Hmmm, I like the way you think.
    On rewriting your own past into a stable time loop of invulnerability:
    Quote Originally Posted by rockdeworld View Post
    Kardar233's Illithid:
    *strokes chin*
    Hmmm, I like the way you think.
    Quote Originally Posted by rockdeworld View Post
    kardar233's Tyr: So ok, it seems to me that your character evades death o_O. Congratulations *fanfare*

  5. - Top - End - #5
    Firbolg in the Playground
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, NO CONTEXT EDITION!

    Quote Originally Posted by kardar233 View Post
    This was in-character.
    HEY! NO CONTEXT ALLOWED!


  6. - Top - End - #6
    Bugbear in the Playground
    Join Date
    May 2011

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, NO CONTEXT EDITION!

    "So I made a golem. By mistake.

    ...It was supposed to be a pie."
    Games I'm in:

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    Askaretha's Ascension as Vaishirth

  7. - Top - End - #7
    Barbarian in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
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    Orlando, FL

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, NO CONTEXT EDITION!

    Yay! Nazi trees!

    "I'm not gonna let the two of you stand watch together because you and her mix like nitroglycerin and shaking it."

    "I'm fine, [the disease] has a twelve hour incubation period."
    "It has an average incubation period of twelve hours. Some people start showing symptoms at eight, some at sixteen."
    "I got shot. That has an incubation period of right then."

    "What happened?"
    "You grew wings."
    "Oh, is that what these are?"

    "Well, this is cooler than the last murder. You know, when it just turned out the guy liked to eat caulk."
    "Ah, yes, the great caulk cruncher caper."

    "Can you pick the lock?"
    "No. No skills in that. I was too busy learning Beholder, Yuan-ti, Elven, Giant, Gnoll, Orc, Undercommon, and Gnome."
    "What? Do you at least have thief tools?"
    "No. I'm not a thief. I'm an elf."
    "You're a human!"
    "Well, I want to be a elf. Can I be one? Can I be an elf?"
    "What? And why don't you have thief tools?"
    "Told you. I'm not a thief. I also had to spend the money on this sammich."
    "THIRTY GOLD PIECES FOR A SANDWICH?"
    "Hey! It's a good sandwich. Come, sandwich, my mouth is lonely. Keep my mouth company."

    "I never thought I'd be dying. Of radiation poisoning. In Amish country."

    Cyborg child: "All are one in Unity. Unity is all. We are Unity."
    PC: "Yeah, I saw this episode. It didn't end well for the starship."

    "I'll tell you the same thing I told the last guy, a ninja came out of nowhere and killed him."

    "Here's the plan. You're going to turn into that giant dinosaur dragon thing, and then bite him."
    "No. I am not going Archid for you, and I am not putting him in my mouth."

    "Last time this happened, I ended up with a vampire in my mouth. I do not care to repeat that experience."
    "I don't see…."
    "In my mouth! The vampire was in my mouth! I can still taste it!"

    "Did you know... your mom looks like Morticia Addams?"

    "This could have been easy. It could have been smooth and normal. But no, you had to live in the murder house."

    "It's all fun and games until someone puts out a ninja."

    “I know how to use the spigot, I saw the horse do it!”

    "You were touching that....that..... other woman!"
    "Woman? That was a truck..."

    “This is a very dirty room. It needs to be cleaned. All flaccid, organic beings should vacate the premises, as the chemicals and materials to be used may possess harmful fumes and may result in several health issues, such as wheezing, shortness of breath, and giant, gaping holes in weak, carbon-based flesh.”

    “While you are correct in your assessment of my lack of buying power, you do not appear to realize that you, as a human, cannot function properly with a bullet hole in your head.”

    “The scary part about the villain having that reality-altering device is that she’s probably the safest person to actually have it. She won’t share it with anyone and is scared to use it.”

    “Is it really necessary to have more explosives than the climax of a sci-fi channel original movie?”

    “You think it’s okay? Will I lose my paladin powers?”
    "You know if this were D&D you'd have lost your powers like ten times before lunch."

    “Anybody get the number of that soul train that hit me?”

    “You must never use the Force in anger.”
    “I didn’t. I used a crowbar.”

    “I’m baking a cake. Where are the grenades at?”

    “I’ll tear you to pieces.”
    “I’ll tear you to pieces!”
    “And I’ll make bread from your bones.”
    “And I’ll make bread from your bones!”
    “Okay, guys, next time you use the Force to start a bar fight, it’s Dark Side points for everyone.”

    “If you use the drill on his forehead you will get a Dark Side point.”
    “Thank you sir! May I have another?”

    “It is my duty as a Jedi player to tell you that I am acting not on anger, but on pure he-posted-naked-trids-of-me-on-the-holonet fury.”

    “I can’t believe that you, as both a twi’lek and a Jedi, allowed one of your ship-mates to buy one.”
    “Hey, it’s part of our society, she sold her own contract.”
    “But!”
    “But nothin’. I didn’t complain when you came back with your new chest piercing, and the Jedi frown upon body modifications.”
    “That was a blaster wound.”
    “Same difference.”

    "I will never get an iPod if I can avoid it. I do not trust a company that is unable to grasp the most basic rules of capitalization."

    "Do you know what's sad? I set my goals for the day as "Play computer RPG games" and then I failed to meet them."
    "Scary magical hoodoo and technology are the same thing; their difference is merely one of cultural context." - Arthur C. Clarke (paraphrased)

  8. - Top - End - #8
    Bugbear in the Playground
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, NO CONTEXT EDITION!

    "Now see, Magnus, if I do this to the water, we can compress it into the shells for the cannons on our giant dragon-powered mechanikal doom robot."

    ~EDIT~ Another:

    "Your character is a pink mist, now."
    "What the hell? How many traps do you have on that door?"
    "The door... is an extradimensional space created by Chaos Dwarves. Effectively, that door is made out of halberds."
    Last edited by kardar233; 2013-04-15 at 05:36 PM.
    On creating medieval thermobaric detonations:
    Quote Originally Posted by Ravens_cry View Post
    *strokes chin*
    Hmmm, I like the way you think.
    On rewriting your own past into a stable time loop of invulnerability:
    Quote Originally Posted by rockdeworld View Post
    Kardar233's Illithid:
    *strokes chin*
    Hmmm, I like the way you think.
    Quote Originally Posted by rockdeworld View Post
    kardar233's Tyr: So ok, it seems to me that your character evades death o_O. Congratulations *fanfare*

  9. - Top - End - #9
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Oct 2009

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, NO CONTEXT EDITION!

    "I can do that too"

  10. - Top - End - #10
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Janus's Avatar

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    USA
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, NO CONTEXT EDITION!

    "...she was a good man."

    "Judging by his dice rolls, seventeen unconscious orcs just fell from the ceiling."

  11. - Top - End - #11
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Dec 2009

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, NO CONTEXT EDITION!

    "Can I smack myself with my mace?"

    "I'll pretend to be her mother."

    "I'll take out my five nutcracker figures and play with them."

    "Wait, how much are the chests themselves worth?"

    "We'll throw a tarp over it and pretend its an octopus."

    "We'll park the Island over our Fortress."

    "I send my gelatinous Cube over to eat the support structure."
    My first foray into homebrew: The Circuit Mage

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  12. - Top - End - #12
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Silverbit's Avatar

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    England. The northish bit
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, NO CONTEXT EDITION!

    "Throw me into the lust pit!"

    "He's wearing nothing but a razor-edged sombrero."
    I'm also on the Bay12 Games forums under the same username.

    The awesome Ceika made both my avatars! All hail!
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    Currently playing the parched and honourable Rabhid Dynasty in Empire2!

  13. - Top - End - #13
    Firbolg in the Playground
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    Oct 2012
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, NO CONTEXT EDITION!

    Quote Originally Posted by hiryuu View Post
    -snip-
    I don't know what games you've been playing...but I want in

  14. - Top - End - #14
    Troll in the Playground
     
    thethird's Avatar

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    Jan 2013

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, NO CONTEXT EDITION!

    "I'm a magic mushroom of wishes. Spare me and I will concede you anything you want."

    "I want a Panzer Tank"

    *A Panzer appears in the dungeon's corridor. The tiles of it break to accommodate the large and anacronic tank.*

    "I leave my torch and play the ride of the Valkiries on my Panzer speakers and advance forward."

    *The Panzer caches fire due to the torch.*

    "Evacuate! Run for your lives! Ladies and Children first!"

    *You make it out of the Panzer in front of you bathing in a fountain of rainbows and glitter a fluffy dragon looks at you surprised.*

    "Rainbows cool!"

    *The dragon claws you, Rainbow is now emerging from your severed hands*

    "Cool!"
    Thanks a lot Gengy for the awesome... just a sec... avatar. :)

  15. - Top - End - #15
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    NecromancerGirl

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    Feb 2013
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, NO CONTEXT EDITION!

    "My sword... is sparkling."

    "Zrou zis hole, I can see... underground! Zerefore, I surmise ze monsters came from... underground!"

    "THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAGHHH GET THEM OFF GET THEM OFF!"

    "Have I ever told you about my backstory?"
    "I swear, if you begin with your parents abandoning you in the woods..."
    "It all started when my parents abandoned me in the woods..."
    *thunk!*

    "I don't believe I know you, do I? Come to think of it, this doesn't look much like the Fellowship of the Fez. Blast! You idiot bandits, you've captured the wrong Fellowship!"

    "Can I get you a drink?"
    "We have no need of alcohol."
    "Some water, then?"
    "You don't work here."
    "How do you know that?"
    "You wear no uniform."
    "I'm a bit of a rebel."
    "We don't like rebels here. We seek to preserve order."
    "What do you order, then?"
    "You misunderstand."
    "I think I understand perfectly well. Everybody wants food."
    "We are fiends. We have no need of nourishment."
    "Fiends, eh? Hmm… Tricky customers, you guys. What do you want?"
    "We want to eliminate criminals and rebels."
    "Oh. Fuzzy-Wuzzy, have you gotten in trouble with the establishment again?"
    "Your… cat?"
    "Yeah. I, um, I sell cats."
    "Did you not say you work here?"
    "I sell cats, too. Is there a law against that?"
    "We would have to look it up. So… how much for that cat?"
    "Oh, Fuzzy-Wuzzy's not for sale! He's my son!"
    "Your son… is a cat."
    "It's a long story. Well, actually, I called him 'Sun,' as in 'You are my sunshine, my only sunshine,' see? So, can I interest you in one of these other felines?"
    "You are under arrest on the charges of being annoying. Clap him in chains!"

  16. - Top - End - #16
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Kaun's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, NO CONTEXT EDITION!

    "Sir?!?!... er...if i could have a moment to confirm the parameters of your order sir? You want me to single-handedly tour and inventory an un-quantified network of un-retained mining tunnels and sink holes, occupied by hundreds if not thousands of uncivilized, psychopathic, cannibalistic, homicidal and amoral Goblins, who seem to hold no sense of their own mortality or mine for that matter. After which I am to audit the operation records kept by a species with no written language of their own and only the faintest concept of what the words "written language" actually mean, with the express purpose of uncovering the possibility of embezzlement being carried out by a race once generously described by his grace, the Arch Bishop Arcala, as a pack of thieving c&^$. Then upon completion of these two tasks, using my experience in excavation and accounting, create a dossier detailing all possible strategies to increase efficiency within every facet of this operation, sir?!?!? are you sure you couldn't use my assistance with the Inn first?"

  17. - Top - End - #17
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Kobold

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    May 2006
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, NO CONTEXT EDITION!

    "Don't MAKE me come over there and find out how many experience points you're worth!"

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    Spoken in her best Mommy-voice, by the then 8-year-old daughter of one of our gaming group.


    "That's classified."
    "By who?"
    "By <The PC>."
    "Why? How?"
    "I'm sorry, but I cannot answer that until classified classifieds the classified during classified."

    No, that wasn't in Paranoia(tm).

    NPC: "Don't worry, sweetie! If one of the bad guys takes me hostage, I'll try not to be all whiney and useless!"

    Reeeeeeeally wish I could explain the context on that one...
    • Sometimes, the knights are the monsters
    • The main problem with the world? So many grownups, not enough adults.
    • Talk less; say more.
    • George R.R. Martin, Kirkman, and Joss Whedon walked into a bar. There were no survivors.
    • Current Project: Fallout 4 "nerd" build (3/7/2/2/9/3/2, PER 9 after boosts)

  18. - Top - End - #18
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Flail_master's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, NO CONTEXT EDITION!

    * "Or I could get another wand, for my own pleasure"
    "... "
    "... DAMN IT!"


    * "I lift up the giants toenail and punch under it!" Said the halfling monk.


    * "I steal his socks."


    * spoilered for being a little explicit, even with censor
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    "Come and get me you shadowy c***s"



    * "Wait is this that ceiling b*****d?"
    "Um... yeah?"
    "SCREW THAT GUY"


    * "If I fill his socks with rocks, can I make a sap?"


    * "Can I just whip his belt off in one action?"


    * "I use 'Greenflame Blade' on the children"


    * "I double crit with the sock-sap"


    * "how much does he have?"
    "like... 7 copper"
    "I take his clothes"
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    Half-Elf Paladin was made by BRC



    Dwarf Barbarian made by Silversnowe


    GENERATION 15: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig and add 1 to the generation. social experiment.

    DEGENERATION 93: Copy this into your sig and subtract 1 from the degeneration when you first see it. This is an antisocial experiment.

  19. - Top - End - #19
    Banned
     
    Griffon

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    Feb 2011

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, NO CONTEXT EDITION!

    "Your mother was a spell component!"

  20. - Top - End - #20
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    NecromancerGirl

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    Nov 2008

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, NO CONTEXT EDITION!

    "If you try this, there's a good 50% chance you're going to rip some fingers off."
    "I'm a medic! I can put them back on!"

    "I have a bad feeling about-"
    Entire rest of the group: "NO! YOU FEEL VERY GOOD ABOUT THIS! YOU FEEL HAPPY! EVERYTHING IS HAPPY!"

    Successful Intimidate check: "I have loose morals and a new prescription pad."

    "How many Dark Side points would it be if I manufactured an aerosol delivery method for syphilis?"

    "The engineer falls over because the DM is tired of doing the silly voice."

  21. - Top - End - #21
    Troll in the Playground
     
    WhiteWizardGirl

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, NO CONTEXT EDITION!

    "You know I don't feel ashamed because the little girl wrecked my powered armor any more."

  22. - Top - End - #22
    Firbolg in the Playground
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
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    On my back, in my heart
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, NO CONTEXT EDITION!

    “Don’t worry, Gabe. Just calm down. They’re not going to send you to an internment camp or anything. We wouldn’t let them.”
    “Calm down?! I’M IN A CAMP RIGHT NOW!”

    "I'd follow you to the depths of Hades. The place, not the dude."
    My Homebrew
    Five-time champion of the GITP monster competition!

    Current Projects:
    Crossroads: the New World: A pathfinder campaign setting about an alternate history of North America, where five empire collide in a magical land full of potential. On the road to publication!

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  23. - Top - End - #23
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    BlueWizardGirl

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    Apr 2011
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    In a building.
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, NO CONTEXT EDITION!

    "Oh, lovely. So in a few months there's going to be a boom of bouncing baby quarter-orcs...."

  24. - Top - End - #24
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Griffon

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    Dec 2009
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    Earth?
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, NO CONTEXT EDITION!

    "I Tumble to the horseburger!"

    "...the DWARF is the cleanest member of the party?"

    "The ball fails to roll away from your ball, and bursts aflame"

    "It's cool guys, I'm with the elf!"

    "Roll five Fort saves."

  25. - Top - End - #25
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Planetar

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    Nov 2007
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    Houston
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, NO CONTEXT EDITION!

    "...attacking a superior officer while wearing a skin color above his security clearance."

  26. - Top - End - #26
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Flumph

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    Nov 2010

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, NO CONTEXT EDITION!

    "I vomit up my inventory."

  27. - Top - End - #27
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    AssassinGuy

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    Mar 2007
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    Canberra, Australia
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, NO CONTEXT EDITION!

    "God isn't my co-pilot, a crazy chick with a 12 gauge is".

    "Here's a doll, show us where the bad man hit you".

  28. - Top - End - #28
    Titan in the Playground
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Dallas, TX
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    Male

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, NO CONTEXT EDITION!

    "By Conan's copper codpiece!"

    "I enjoyed casting coordinated lightning bolts with you. I’ve never felt so connected to another person before."

    "Love is one of the strongest and most mysterious forces of the universe. Of course, controlling arcane cosmic forces is what wizards do. Maybe we should research a spell for it?"

    "Can we be the good guys?"

    "OK, Ornrandir will always defend the unquestionable generosity and gratitude of the new king. His Majesty's sanity, however, remains in doubt."

    "What in the name of Smaug's smelly smallclothes are you doing?"

  29. - Top - End - #29
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Deepbluediver's Avatar

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    Oct 2011
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    The US of A

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, NO CONTEXT EDITION!

    "I am now dealing lethal damage."

    "Can I kick the door down quietly?"

    "Are those druids still mad at us?"

    "Do you think the ghost of that little dead girl is gonna haunt us?
    Why would she do that?
    You stole her candle."

    "Do you think that owner of the magic-item shop is still mad at us?
    The regular women or the black-market guy?
    Either one."

    "Oh, and they said there was some kind of reward, but I didn't think that was important."

    "Do you think that [other adventuring party] is still mad at us for beating them up?
    Eh, who cares, they're elves."


    I'm starting to think my group has issues.
    Quote Originally Posted by Rater202 View Post
    It's not called common because the sense is common, it's called common because it's about common things.
    Homebrew Extended Signature!

  30. - Top - End - #30
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Sith_Happens's Avatar

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    Dromund Kaas
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, NO CONTEXT EDITION!

    "I Alter Self into a dwarf and order another round."

    "Oh, well, I don't know about him, but I'm actually made of planar... stuff."

    "I make a Silent Image of his mother."

    "Any of you ever f***ed a fish before?"

    "IT'S GORON TIME!!!"

    "You see three fiendish and one half-fiend rabbit."

    "Normally I'm against that kind of wanton destruction, but if [the LG cleric] in on board..."
    Revan avatar by kaptainkrutch.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cirrylius View Post
    That's how wizards beta test their new animals. If it survives Australia, it's a go. Which in hindsight explains a LOT about Australia.

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