The SUE Files, Part II

[Mewtarthio]

Quite a while ago, I heard someone mention a "Dale Earnhardt Memorial Katana." Yep, a katana with the face of Dale Earnhardt, famous NASCAR driver, etched into the blade.

This wouldn't be one of those evil swords that slowly corrupts you until you become the new Dale Earnhardt, would it?

I don't know, I sort of liked the shopping cart "BULDOOZAR." Though I was trying to make up my mind whether the katana would have been funnier than the scalpel-- either one is a mental image that is at once pathetic, absurd and slightly creepy.

Perhaps an extremely small katana that's used as a scalpel, since obviously katanas are better than scalpels. I call it the "skatanalpel."

[VeliciaL]

Quite a while ago, I heard someone mention a "Dale Earnhardt Memorial Katana." Yep, a katana with the face of Dale Earnhardt, famous NASCAR driver, etched into the blade.

This is self-evidently the BEST KATANA POSSIBLE. Neither CC not llectim can convince me otherwise.

If someone finds such a thing, we need to gift it to Chief Circle stat.

[The Fury]

If someone finds such a thing, we need to gift it to Chief Circle stat.

"The Dale Earnhardt Memorial Katana flies into the hand of its true master..."

(sorry, I'm not sure of the forum etiquette here... Should I have used the purple text?)

[Arkhosia]

"The Dale Earnhardt Memorial Katana flies into the hand of its true master..."

(sorry, I'm not sure of the forum etiquette here... Should I have used the purple text?)

No. Blue on the "true master" part.

[The Glyphstone]

We've been using purple to represent CC-speech, though, so if it was meant to be Marty or CC speaking, purple. If it was just sarcasm, blue.

[TuggyNE]

"The Dale Earnhardt Memorial Katana flies into the hand of its true master..."

(sorry, I'm not sure of the forum etiquette here... Should I have used the purple text?)

Given the atrociously horrific nature of that quoted bit (and the definition in my sig), I'm going with yes.

[Feddlefew]

Given the atrociously horrific nature of that quoted bit (and the definition in my sig), I'm going with yes.

I still have to grin and giggle every time I see the purple text being used outside of this thread....

[Arkhosia]

Given the atrociously horrific nature of that quoted bit (and the definition in my sig), I'm going with yes.

Oh crap! I use dark orchid to mark favorite things I post.

[Trekkin]

Finally, the last new post of the prequel campaign.

[Arkhosia]

How does Rick's player bear the stupidity?

Also, how can GM!!Marty fail at U.S. history? What's next, saying the Greeks conquered the Roman Empire and Constantine being a crazy pagan who worshipped trees?
Sorry, anyone who fails so badly at history automatically deserves a rant.

[llehctim]

How does Rick's player bear the stupidity?

Also, how can GM!!Marty fail at U.S. history? What's next, saying the Greeks conquered the Roman Empire and Constantine being a crazy pagan who worshipped trees?
Sorry, anyone who fails so badly at history automatically deserves a rant.

I reeeally wanted to point these out at the time, but he was deliberately using examples my character wouldn't know about, although I suppose there aren't any good examples in D&D, because people/gods getting uppity and trying <expletive deleted> like that tend to get their rears handed to them by adventurers or the bigger fish who don't want threats.

Its nice to have goals like conquer everything, I don't care about that, its the fact that he succeeds with NO EFFORT that pisses me off.

The majority of my adventuring career I would horde +1 daggers because we had to work hard for everything, which made it actually have meaning to me, and a wish was a desperate move due to the staggering rarity and MASSIVE costs (3 years of your life and XP loss) which could backfire with miswording or overstepping. So seeing someone gloat about winning with infinite free, universe bends over backwards frustrates me. And the knowledge that it is impossible to achieve any meaningful victory not spoonfed by him made me actually ignore the plot and just work on an army of disposable minions (didn't want to bring in sentient ones, since they would end up betraying me)

At least my crazy powerful NPCs had to actually earn their powers and are possible to beat (with some knowledge of their weaknesses and some planning). Hell for many powerful NPCs the method of gaining the power drives them mad.

[Feddlefew]

I cannot properly articulate my disgust.

[VeliciaL]

Ok, I'm going to take Marty to term on one item, and one item only (so far): "There is no internal rebellion in the Federation"

I assume Marty hasn't heard of a little organization called the Maquis?

Beyond that, this is just boilerplate evil empire stuff. When people write fiction with empires patterned like this, I tend to write it off as needlessly evil. This guy makes Soviet Russia look like a paragon of freedom, for god's sake.

EDIT: I lied.

there is no conflict [in Fantasy Japan]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

What, did you think they make those nifty katanas to chop up sushi?

EDIT PART 2: Finally actually finished reading. Words cannot describe my distain for this guy...

[Mr Beer]

He's just a straight up sociopath, right?

[Arkhosia]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

What, did [GM!!Marty] think they make those nifty katanas to chop up sushi?

No. Rice balls, remember?

[Feddlefew]

He's just a straight up sociopath, right?

I'm beginning think he's more of a Reptilian myself.

[Jbr208]

CC is slowly destroying two of my vital organs: my brain and my liver. On the plus side, as I keep drinking I care less about how completely offensive his precious story is to any sensible and/or modestly educated person.

[Fecar]

To quote Mel Brooks:

“Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.”

By that standard, the SUE Files is one of the greatest works of comedy in RPG history.

Thanks to Trekkin, llehctim and EH02 for their posts and sharing this nightmare. I have enjoyed, while feeling bad for the valiant trio, every word of it. Its a guilty pleasure.

[Trekkin]

Don't thank us yet! At least, not in a way that implies we're done.

We have an entirely separate campaign to run through, you know.

And thanks, VeliciaL, for mentioning the Maquis. I knew there had to be one; I'm just not familiar with Star Trek.

This next one is going to be fun. I'm probably going to sound like a horrible slayer of catgirls for half of the things we did, but what the hey.

[Arkhosia]

CC is slowly destroying two of my vital organs: my brain and my liver. On the plus side, as I keep drinking I care less about how completely offensive his precious story is to any sensible and/or modestly educated person.

Also, his offensitivity is so strong it's poisonous. Your liver was working overtime to start with.

[jindra34]

I cannot properly articulate my disgust.

That about sums it up. Cognitive dissonance on everything he says.

[llehctim]

I want to give the benefit of the doubt and think that he doesn't believe that is possible in real life and Sue has just gone mad with power and isn't thinking about the consequences, but its hard to tell since Marty seems to be able to lose an argument*. At times I act as the "devil's avocado" (I don't want to actually advocate the devil) in arguments to defend someone/something that is not available to defend itself since it helps expand my perspectives, but eventually I will end an argument.

*He likes to drag arguments on with nitpicking and tangents (something I do as well if I think both parties are amused by it), however he sees every argument as a "debate". I have had some good debates with him, but the issue is when the other person isn't debating he doesn't notice that it is an actual argument since every problem can be solved with rational debate.

-Sidenote: I don't think he is a sociopath, I suspect this odd habit may have come from positive reinforcing of just arguing till the other people don't care anymore and let you win.

[Asmayus]

I am so glad I've never met this guy (touch wood)

[CoffeeIncluded]

...I'm sorry, I need to drop something.

[Eldan]

What, did you think they make those nifty katanas to chop up sushi?

EDIT PART 2: Finally actually finished reading. Words cannot describe my distain for this guy...

Psh. The Katanas are for Mutually Assured Destruction, of course.

[The Fury]

Ok, I'm going to take Marty to term on one item, and one item only (so far): "There is no internal rebellion in the Federation"

I assume Marty hasn't heard of a little organization called the Maquis?

Maybe the fact that the Maquis was introduced in DS9, (I guess a lot of fans had problems with that show,) and Voyager did nothing with it is why it "doesn't count?"

Oh, minor nitpick with regards to history: Some colonies that rebelled were directly inspired by the U.S. revolution. Particularly in Latin America. According to Juan Gonzales, Simon Bolivar was not only inspired by the U.S. revolution but was convinced that the U.S. would help him overthrow the Spanish rule. He was wrong of course.

Finally... Lily is from a setting that presumably resembles medieval Europe, yes? Now I'm a bit rusty on history but I'm pretty sure that they had books in medieval Europe. Lily has probably seen books, possibly read some, if she hasn't she almost certainly knows what books are-- Why then does Marty feel the need to explain what a book is? DANG that bit was infuriating!

[georgie_leech]

He had a captive audience of the most incompetent engineers ever, remember? They'd moved far beyond such outdated technology as "books," so he was explaining for the benefit of his NPC's.

[The Fury]

Oh hey, yeah! I forgot about those stupid advanced engineers. They wouldn't know what a book is would they?

[llehctim]

Maybe the fact that the Maquis was introduced in DS9, (I guess a lot of fans had problems with that show,) and Voyager did nothing with it is why it "doesn't count?"

Oh, minor nitpick with regards to history: Some colonies that rebelled were directly inspired by the U.S. revolution. Particularly in Latin America. According to Juan Gonzales, Simon Bolivar was not only inspired by the U.S. revolution but was convinced that the U.S. would help him overthrow the Spanish rule. He was wrong of course.

Finally... Lily is from a setting that presumably resembles medieval Europe, yes? Now I'm a bit rusty on history but I'm pretty sure that they had books in medieval Europe. Lily has probably seen books, possibly read some, if she hasn't she almost certainly knows what books are-- Why then does Marty feel the need to explain what a book is? DANG that bit was infuriating!

We had lots of books, and spent time researching them/ copying them. I had a book of literally infinite pages that had an enchantment that let me search through it. I was trying to compile as much magical knowledge as I could, as I do with most wizards I play.
I think it was less trying to define what books are, but more of a making it sound cooler than "yeah we are in a reality loosely based on this book in my reality". To be fair this can work occasionally he just made it sound like he was defining a book.

Ex: (a father/mother talking to a son/daughter or something): These pieces of paper, with what seem like meaningless words now, when read, can be like a portal to other worlds, allowing your imagination to run free and taking you on epic journeys with heroes, mages, dragons, princesses and Gods or perhaps spaceships, aliens, exploration and new amazing discoveries or perhaps a horror story to test your courage and spook your friends. The possibilities are limitless and one day you will have your own tale to tell.

[Arbane]

Wow.

I'm confused now. Does Chief Circle want the PCs to think Marty's the villain, or not?

Oh, wait, I think I sort-of understand his 'plan' - he's trying to validate Marty's pointless 'achievements' by having the PCs oppose him and fail. (The fact that he's completely rigged the game in his favor is irrelevant, see below. )

Its nice to have goals like conquer everything, I don't care about that, its the fact that he succeeds with NO EFFORT that pisses me off.

So seeing someone gloat about winning with infinite free, universe bends over backwards frustrates me.

Same here. Seeing CC pat himself on the back for winning by Writer's Fiat is an aneurism-inducing level of idiotic smugness.

What makes it hilarious is that apparently, he can't win WITHOUT getting to write the rules, at least if what Trekkin said about him getting stomped at strategy games is true.

He's just a straight up sociopath, right?

Narcissistic personality disorder:

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder in which the individual is described as being excessively preoccupied with issues of personal adequacy, power, prestige and vanity. This condition affects one percent of the population. First formulated in 1968, it was historically called megalomania, and is severe egocentrism.

Sound like anyone we know?