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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Lord Raziere's Avatar

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    Default Star Power Thread 1: Snarking Preemptively

    Hello everyone, I will kick off our new thread about Star Power, to make sure Star Power discussions doesn't clutter up the Dominic Deegan thread.

    You can find the comic here: http://www.starpowercomic.com/first-post-ever/

    It is comic written by Michael "Mookie" Terraciano (did I get that name right?)
    and drawn by….some other guy. I forget.

    However people have assured me that both are horrible at what they do. Namely making webcomics. Is there hope that they have gotten better with their team up?

    um, considering that I made this thread to sort of post up a strip slay of the first comic?

    well I personally don't consider that to be a good omen. But don't take my word for it, judge for yourself:

    Star Power Narrator-Slay 1:
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    Star Power Title Slay:
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    Last edited by Lord Raziere; 2013-05-30 at 12:45 AM.
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  2. - Top - End - #2
    Troll in the Playground
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    Default Re: Star Power Thread

    Well, looking forward to a new comic to make fun of.

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    SaintRidley's Avatar

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    Default Re: Star Power Thread

    More Mookie doing his Mookie thing is always welcome.

    And, of course, look at the kind of advanced research Mookie thinks scholars and intellectuals do - counting. Very difficult stuff that is.
    Last edited by SaintRidley; 2013-05-15 at 10:23 AM.
    Linguist and Invoker of Orcus of the Rudisplorker's Guild
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    Fantasy literature is ONLY worthwhile for what it can tell us about the real world; everything else is petty escapism.
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    No author should have to take the time to say, "This little girl ISN'T evil, folks!" in order for the reader to understand that. It should be assumed that no first graders are irredeemably Evil unless the text tells you they are.

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    Halfling in the Playground
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    Default Re: Star Power Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    However people have assured me that both are horrible at what they do. Namely making webcomics. Is there hope that they have gotten better with their team up?
    As much as I enjoy derision of Dominic Deegan (who doesn't), his partner on this (Garth Graham, of Comedity and Finders Keepers fame [fame not a guarantee]) is not someone who is horrible at what he does. I wouldn't say he's incredible, but he's leagues ahead of Mookie. He just has some pretty questionable taste in collaborators
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  5. - Top - End - #5
    Troll in the Playground
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    Default Re: Star Power Thread

    Yeah, Garth is pretty skilled, and when I briefly looked through his old comics to see what it is he does, I did, in fact, see progress over time.
    I don't like his art, though. Everything looks so sterile, and the faces are weird.

    Quote Originally Posted by T-O-E View Post
    I'm a little concerned about the main character's name. Too similar to Dominic.
    I will be calling her Dominica.
    Obvious nerd, works a ****ty job she doesn't like, brilliant but nobody sees it, is going to develop superpowers soon, will presumably save one or more worlds.

    Mookie is, what, 33, 34 now? And he's apparently still going to do this near-infantile wish fulfillment thing over again.




    On the note of brilliant but nobody sees it, did anyone bother to save the real first comic? The one that never went up and would have been better as a first update? (I mean that it showed that Danica is brilliant but nobody sees it. The comic just wasn't seen by very many people.)
    Last edited by Johnny Blade; 2013-05-15 at 11:06 AM.

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    Default Re: Star Power Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Johnny Blade View Post
    Yeah, Garth is pretty skilled, and when I briefly looked through his old comics to see what it is he does, I did, in fact, see progress over time.
    I thought Garth did a pretty serviceable job with his webcomics. Just kind of forgettable beyond "friends get up to wacky antics/personify my computer/it's crowded in my head" and "Neil Gaiman-inspired urban fantasy".

    Quote Originally Posted by Johnny Blade View Post
    On the note of brilliant but nobody sees it, did anyone bother to save the real first comic? The one that never went up and would have been better as a first update? (I mean that it showed that Danica is brilliant but nobody sees it. The comic just wasn't seen by very many people.)
    I hope someone did. I didn't figure out the sneaky gate for it. (What was the sneaky gate by the way? I was kicking myself because someone said it was easy to guess, but everything obvious I tried failed.)
    Last edited by engineer-errant; 2013-05-15 at 11:19 AM.

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    Troll in the Playground
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    Default Re: Star Power Thread

    Everything (meaning two files) was in the website's comics directory. So http://www.starpowercomic.com/comics/

    It still works, but the title page and first comic aren't there anymore.


    Oh, and I never actually read anything Garth did, I mainly just looked at the art.
    Last edited by Johnny Blade; 2013-05-15 at 11:28 AM.

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    Dwarf in the Playground
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    Default Re: Star Power Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Johnny Blade View Post
    Everything (meaning two files) was in the website's comics directory. So http://www.starpowercomic.com/comics/

    It still works, but the title page and first comic aren't there anymore.


    Oh, and I never actually read anything Garth did, I mainly just looked at the art.
    Ah. When I checked /comics only the title page was present. So I think it got pulled as soon as they saw hits in the logs.
    Last edited by engineer-errant; 2013-05-15 at 11:38 AM.

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    Default Re: Star Power Thread

    I guess it must have. Well, maybe they'll still upload it at some point.

    It's not a huge loss, though, all it did was show what the updates we see now tell us about Danica's job. Probably why Mookie decided against leading with it.

    I won't spoil anymore in case someone has it and can rehost it somewhere.
    Last edited by Johnny Blade; 2013-05-15 at 11:46 AM.

  10. - Top - End - #10
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    Default Re: Star Power Thread

    I do wonder how they're collaborating. Is Mookie writing to Garth's images, or is Garth drawing to Mookie's text? The difference would be huge, with the former probably forcing Mookie to be a little better on the writing front.

    Looking at the second comic, I would even guess that Mookie's working off Garth's drawings. He doesn't get it perfect - note the guy who grumbles about not having any money immediately suggests throwing a party, a very logical prospect right there - but so far it seems like Mookie might not fail so badly now that the art is out of his hands (and may be what he needs to write for).


    That said, I give it two weeks before we see Mookie manage to screw this whole thing up in ways we could never have expected if he writes after the page is drawn.
    Last edited by SaintRidley; 2013-05-15 at 12:35 PM.
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    Fantasy literature is ONLY worthwhile for what it can tell us about the real world; everything else is petty escapism.
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    No author should have to take the time to say, "This little girl ISN'T evil, folks!" in order for the reader to understand that. It should be assumed that no first graders are irredeemably Evil unless the text tells you they are.

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    Default Re: Star Power Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    It is comic written by Michael "Mookie" Terraciano (did I get that name right?)
    and drawn by….some other guy. I forget.

    However people have assured me that both are horrible at what they do. Namely making webcomics.
    If that is being horrible at drawing comics, then I want to be horrible, too.
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    I thought Tom Bombadil dreadful — but worse still was the announcer's preliminary remarks that Goldberry was his daughter (!), and that Willowman was an ally of Mordor (!!).

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    Default Re: Star Power Thread

    It looks pretty good so far. I'll be following this. If it's good, it's good. If it's a train wreck, I want too see that too.
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    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Default Re: Star Power Thread

    Well, it's a new comic, and I want to start it off on the right foot by trying to make more strip slays which are (speaking for myself) actually funny and contain some kind of punchline or make one out of situations previously in the comic or at least do the shaggy dog tale.

    Here's my first:

    Spoiler
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    Commentary:
    Spoiler
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    I think I will write commentary. I hadn't thought of adding the "Morsel" line until I started and I think it added quite a bit to the effect. Anything for the goal of being funny.

    Lots of media has had creepy looking aliens turn out to be harmless lately. Subverting that trope makes this dialogue, and the entire situation, more interesting. The punchline is, I suppose, that the likely heroine and/or station and/or humanity is still quite wrong about the friendliness and intentions of this plant-species. Another option was to say it would do more plant-like hostilities like infesting the planet, but I think the big and flashy part works well. Overall, it feels a little short. If I could just have a beat panel with the plant doing some nonchalant thing, maybe a little more dialogue space... Or is brevity the best?

    Well, it's a start.

    I find this quite funny, or at least I used to. I think I'll try to do different kinds of humor too. Hilariously stupid or suicidal people jokes only go so far. Also, I feel bad for implying that she could only make friends with a terrible alien wallflower.

    Man, the Dominic-Deegan rub-off presence in here is palpable. And "here" isn't even palpable. It will be a struggle to avoid gags like punchy. On the other hand, it might be easier to see when people are smiling or something, if that's an advantage.
    Last edited by nooblade; 2013-05-15 at 02:52 PM.

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    Default Re: Star Power Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Miklus View Post
    It looks pretty good so far. I'll be following this. If it's good, it's good. If it's a train wreck, I want too see that too.
    So far, I'd have to say that the art is good and the Mook is bad.

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    Default Re: Star Power Thread

    The art here is better than Mookie's last outing (I know, it's a really low bar to clear,) but I'd hesitate to call it anything other than competent, especially looking at some of these faces.

    The writing is about what I'd expect from out intrepid writer.

  16. - Top - End - #16
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    Default Re: Star Power Thread

    Hey, look! Comic zero got uploaded after all!

    Quote Originally Posted by SaintRidley View Post
    note the guy who grumbles about not having any money immediately suggests throwing a party, a very logical prospect right there
    Makes perfect sense. Notsalarian doesn't have any money, so he's going to get all the other "labbers" together and mooch off of them.

    Okay, lemme look at these comics:

    Comic 1:
    Spoiler
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    I would complain about her "textbooks" being "rewritten"--really, it's the Far Future, don't you just have ebooks that get patched at the very least?--but then I remember that textbook manufacturers are evil bastards that will use any excuse they can think of to make you pay hundreds of dollars for each new edition.

    Comic 2:
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    You know, when I first read this, I thought that Danica had been studying this star for some time, hence the "close friend" joke. Now I see Comic Zero, and it looks like she only just saw that star a few hours ago? And there's nothing particularly special about it besides Danica's "instincts"? And already she's blowing off her friends to study it? I'm pretty sure HP Lovecraft wrote a story like this.

    Comic 3:
    Spoiler
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    Oh, my. That is a lot of clumsy exposition. Do you always rant furiously about recent events in oddly specific detail to strange stars you've just met, Danica?

    Not that there's anything wrong with that. What a woman does with her telescope in the privacy of her own bedroom is none of my business. Still, the authors chose to show it "on screen," as it were, so I'm free to judge its literary merits.
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  17. - Top - End - #17
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    Default Re: Star Power Thread

    There's a new page now. So intuition should take precedense over logic in science? I guess that's OK since she is about to become a superhero, not a scientist.

    While the art is better in a lot of ways, the expressions on the faces are horrible. The protagonists' smiles really fit the expression 'plastered'. They don't fit in the faces they're in. Other expressions are nothing to be proud of either.

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    Default Re: Star Power Thread

    Two new pages. Here's the real first page now.

    And then a fourth page.


    EDIT: Too late...

    Both added pages say the same thing. A thing we already knew. This is off to a good start.

    I really like the first one, though. Danica's work ethic is a wonderfully Mookie thing. Like any true and proper nerd, she loves her chosen science, except when she actually has to do the boring menial lab work that scientists have to put up with before finding out it was nothing after all changing the world forever.
    Luckily, she doesn't need to, because she's so great and talented and can just trust her instincts. You might say she was born under a lucky star.
    Last edited by Johnny Blade; 2013-05-15 at 03:12 PM.

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    Default Re: Star Power Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Mewtarthio View Post
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    Not that there's anything wrong with that. What a woman does with her telescope in the privacy of her own bedroom is none of my business. Still, the authors chose to show it "on screen," as it were, so I'm free to judge its literary merits.
    I saw that, too. And I don't have any justification for doing this. Sorry, internet.

    Spoiler
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    Their eyebrows are so perfectly matching.


    And I also don't think intuition works that way, but what do I know?

    The only thing I found when I looked up "Renzalon" was some game garbage. Is that all?
    Last edited by nooblade; 2013-05-15 at 04:11 PM.

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    Default Re: Star Power Thread

    Heavy-handed exposition? A protagonist who insists on trusting her instincts but is kept down by old curmudgeons? This comic is off to an excellent start. I was going to try to give it the benefit of the doubt and not assume it's going to be bad, but... it's not making it easy on me.
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    Default Re: Star Power Thread

    I think noone yet noticed the very best thing about this new comic: It has 'comment' section under every page! This will be comedy gold!

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    Default Re: Star Power Thread

    I just love (such as it is) that Mookie hasn't changed his old habit of applying inappropriate emphasis to random words in his comics.

    Admittedly, that only really applies to comic 1, but still, it's an auspicious (or inauspicious, really) start.
    Last edited by Zaq; 2013-05-15 at 04:01 PM.
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  23. - Top - End - #23
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    NecromancerGuy

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    Default Re: Star Power Thread

    So far this is pretty bad, just a rather bland bad. It will need time to devolve into full Mookie levels of awful.

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    Default Re: Star Power Thread

    I'm really curious about how the astronomy is going to turn out. The numbers look acceptable so far, assuming that Danica's telescope has some sort of active magnification and that her eyepiece is lighting up so brightly due to its display.

    Because a pure optical telescope won't do that unless you are looking into the station's exterior floodlamps or a ship just crossed into view.

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    Default Re: Star Power Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Vinyadan View Post
    If that is being horrible at drawing comics, then I want to be horrible, too.
    sorry about that mate… guess I don't know Graham.

    and really, nooblade? thats not funny, another played out "aliens will obliterate humanity" joke. ha. ha. ha.

    I'm going for wit and sarcasm. or at least MST3K

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    GnomeWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Star Power Thread

    I'm giving Star Power a grace period to find its feet (although I'll end up nitpicking a bunch of stuff as it goes). It will need to get past at least the origin story of Star Power and then one other adventure to really get a feel of what Mookie and Garth are going for.

    The biggest danger I can see is that it's likely to be a very flat character protagonist going around with superpowers doing cool stuff without any further depth beyond that. Danica needs more of a character than "nerd girl with superpowers". We'll need a couple of adventures to see what we get, but I suspect there's a real risk that that is all we will get.

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    Default Re: Star Power Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by SaintRidley View Post
    I do wonder how they're collaborating. Is Mookie writing to Garth's images, or is Garth drawing to Mookie's text? The difference would be huge, with the former probably forcing Mookie to be a little better on the writing front.
    Mookie is definitely writing this

    And, because I'm really mean, I thought I'd link another comic about a space station where an improbable number of aliens hang out. It even has a plant alien

    * * *

    I, too, am not going to snark about this until it gets under way. I admit I'm a bit skeptical about this space-based "research station" which appears to conduct astronomical research just like a terrestrial one, particularly since they obviously have FTL. But something tells me we're not going to be there very long anyhow.

    No, I'm going to wait until we see some beamspams and silly superhero outfits! Then, I shall snark
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  28. - Top - End - #28
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    GnomeWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Star Power Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Oracle_Hunter View Post
    No, I'm going to wait until we see some beamspams and silly superhero outfits! Then, I shall snark
    For the latter, you don't have to wait long.
    (There's a couple of Sneaky Gate comics hiding there.)

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    Default Re: Star Power Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Trazoi View Post
    (There's a couple of Sneaky Gate comics hiding there.)
    Great. Now I've seen them and have nothing left to look forward to all week.

    (There's not even anything to snark here. Those are just... generic)
    Quote Originally Posted by Winterwind View Post
    Mewtarthio, you have scared my brain into hiding, a trembling, broken shadow of a thing, cowering somewhere in the soothing darkness and singing nursery rhymes in the hope of obscuring the Lovecraftian facts you so boldly brought into daylight.

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    DwarfClericGuy

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    Default Re: Star Power Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Mewtarthio View Post
    Great. Now I've seen them and have nothing left to look forward to all week.
    Eh, sometimes looking ahead is a bad thing.

    The problem seems to be that Mookie wants to rush into the main storyline.

    Worldbuilding would be, of course, an infodump as a result. Or get bits and snatches, kind of like the 'vacation arc'...
    May you get EXACTLY what you wish for.

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