If Systems Were... [BLANK]

[Ozfer]

I had an idea for a fun little thread: What if we all compared our favorite (Or least favorite), systems to machines, objects and other such things?

Example:
If systems were pocket-knives....
GURPS would be a swiss army knife (Something for everything)
Dnd would be a hacksaw (A little crude, and there are better tools for the job, but still nice)
FATE would be a basic two blade (Quick, Simple, but can do a lot)


IMPORTANT: Obviously, everything here is an opinion. Of course, feel free to debate and discuss .

[Saintheart]

FATAL would be a butter knife. The size of the moon. With a lot of questionable illustrations on the blade.

[Ozfer]

Maybe something like this?

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[valadil]

If systems were programming languages:

• GURPS - Java
• D&D - C
• AD&D - C++
• D&D 3.5 - C#
• D&D 4th - PHP
• World of Darkness - Python
• Dark Heresy - Ruby
• Deadlands - Perl
• Fate - Go
• MERP - Scheme
• Role Master - Lisp
• Paranoia - Brainf*ck

(Obviously this list is limited by the languages I've used (or in some cases googled once or twice), the systems I've played, and my desire to have 1 RPG per programming language. I don't feel strongly enough to argue about any of it, except that GURPS is java.)

[Ozfer]

From my limited knowledge of languages, that seems like a pretty good assessment.

[TuggyNE]

If systems were programming languages:

• GURPS - Java
• D&D - C
• AD&D - C++
• D&D 3.5 - C#
• D&D 4th - PHP
• World of Darkness - Python
• Dark Heresy - Ruby
• Deadlands - Perl
• Fate - Go
• MERP - Scheme
• Role Master - Lisp
• Paranoia - Brainf*ck

(Obviously this list is limited by the languages I've used (or in some cases googled once or twice), the systems I've played, and my desire to have 1 RPG per programming language. I don't feel strongly enough to argue about any of it, except that GURPS is java.)

FATE seems more like LOGO to me.

Also, the lack of any BASIC derivative in the list makes me sad. (No, 4e is not VB.)

[Slipperychicken]

Dnd 3.5 is like a claymore. It's big, slow, and its job is combat. You *can* try to slice vegetables and chop down trees with it, but that will quickly get messy and probably won't turn out the way you wanted.

[TuggyNE]

Dnd 3.5 is like a claymore. It's big, slow, and its job is combat. You *can* try to slice vegetables and chop down trees with it, but that will quickly get messy and probably won't turn out the way you wanted.

Now what about some other systems, what sorts of swords or knives or axes would they be?

[neonchameleon]

Now what about some other systems, what sorts of swords or knives or axes would they be?

4e: A Katana. Fashioned and polished to do a big job and does it excellently.

GURPS: A European Longsword. Designed to be the sword-of-all-trades and for punching through heavy armour.

Fate Core: A smallsword (often called a rapier). Small, portable, light, but fast and skillful enough to drive the old overlong rapier off the field of battle.

3.5: The 1908 cavalry sabre. Arguably the best horseman's sword ever made.

oD&D: A sword made for a giant and with three crossed out dragons inscribed on the blade.

AD&D 1e: An exact copy of the oD&D sword and given out randomly.

Rifts: A lightsabre. Batteries not included, neither is ability to use the force. Plugging it into the mains will brown out the block in three seconds and it needs ten seconds of charge to create the blade. But it's still a lightsabre!

World of Darkness: A heavy gas powered chainsaw that thinks producing a thick cloud of black smoke is a feature.

Leverage: A non-metallic smallsword with a tiny hilt in a swordcane

Dogs in the Vineyard: An extendible sword, eventually reaching the full 60" of the more extreme rapiers.

Apocalypse World: A revolver with a gunblade.

Monsterhearts: A fully loaded pearl handled revolver. Your point?

Paranoia: Sword chucks! Yo! Or possibly the papercut chainsaw.

Fiasco: A rubber bayonet. Attached to a waterpistol. Just because.

Dread: A shortsword with a bomb in the hilt. It's ticking.

[valadil]

FATE seems more like LOGO to me.

Also, the lack of any BASIC derivative in the list makes me sad. (No, 4e is not VB.)

I was going for the light/fast/newness of FATE.

I used plenty of BASIC way back when, but didn't find any good matches for it. Did AD&D have any competitors? I feel like you need something old.

[Waar]

WH 4000K RPGs (Dark Heresy, Rogue Trader etc): Chainsaw(-sword)

[Xefas]

4th Edition D&D: The tiny food truck two blocks away. You can get to it fairly easily, and the quality is great. Assuming you wanted a muffaletta sandwich. If you wanted anything other than a muffaletta, you're going to be horrendously disappointed. But if you love muffaletta, you might as well camp there.

3rd Edition D&D: The fast food strip right across the street. It takes no effort to get there and get you some food, and there're more variations on the common hamburger than you thought was possible. They have entire spreadsheets for you to pore over, so you can get your burger just so in the exact proportions, and adornment, and price point you desire. And, no matter what, it's always terrible.

FATE: That diner that's like 15 minutes away by car. It's not an inconvenient travel, but it's not convenient either. The food is good, and there's enough variety that you don't get bored. The chairs are comfortable, and the waitress pretends to remember you even when she doesn't. It's just a nice place, all around. But the food isn't spectacular or anything. You're not going to have your mind blown, for sure, and whenever you say words like "amuse bouche" and "tasting menu" the guy behind the counter just scowls at you and hands you some pie. The pie is good. Hard to argue with that.

Free Market: You wake up in the local drunk tank. Only after awkwardly stumbling out, still irate and hung over, do you realize it's not your local. In fact, you're not sure where you are. Some of the signs are in your native tongue, and you cling to that for hope. Your cellphone is gone. After mumbling aloud about how starved you are, standing on a street corner, a small person of indiscernible gender and nationality takes you by the wrist and leads you into an alleyway. There's a gypsy with a duffel bag. She reaches inside and stuffs something vaguely food-seeming into your hand. Without thinking, you cram it into your mouth. There's a sound like a crashing wave and children laughing. Suddenly, you're back in your apartment, naked, weeping, holding a headless porcelain doll in one hand, and a picture of a bearded man you've never met before in the other. So many questions.

Burning Wheel: The fancy French restaurant on the other side of the country. Even if you go by plane, it's actually situated in a tiny suburb off a meandering county road that somehow never got road signs, so have fun driving a rental there. It's reservation-only of course, at least two years in advance, and you've got to wear a suit. The menu is all in French, and while the waiter will do his job superbly, and translate for you, he secretly hates you and wants you to die. You have the best meal of your life there. The fish is better than sex. You didn't realize that bread could be made to taste like warm sunshine breaching the clouds of a cold winter's day. At one point you dropped a fork, and before it hit the ground, the waiter had a new one on the table already. He hates you even more now. Finally, you get back home. And... well, you're getting hungry again. There's no way in Hell you can just wait for another meal like that to come along. You'd starve to death. Plus, hey, you can wear jeans to a diner. And they have beer there. And the waitress is hot. And you can play your Gameboy while you wait without rich people glaring at you.

White Wolf: The sign outside said "Food", but you seem to have walked into a Pottery Barn.

Freeform: "To hell with it. I'm just gonna make some god damn cereal." You instantly regret making cereal. You eat it anyway.

Play By Post: Doing a Google Image Search for "Delicious Food".

[The Rose Dragon]

White Wolf: The sign outside said "Food", but you seem to have walked into a Pottery Barn.

Also, the pottery may look fantastic, but make no attempt at using it. It is likely to break into a thousand pieces if you so much as touch it.

[Eldan]

Free Market: You wake up in the local drunk tank. Only after awkwardly stumbling out, still irate and hung over, do you realize it's not your local. In fact, you're not sure where you are. Some of the signs are in your native tongue, and you cling to that for hope. Your cellphone is gone. After mumbling aloud about how starved you are, standing on a street corner, a small person of indiscernible gender and nationality takes you by the wrist and leads you into an alleyway. There's a gypsy with a duffel bag. She reaches inside and stuffs something vaguely food-seeming into your hand. Without thinking, you cram it into your mouth. There's a sound like a crashing wave and children laughing. Suddenly, you're back in your apartment, naked, weeping, holding a headless porcelain doll in one hand, and a picture of a bearded man you've never met before in the other. So many questions.

I'll have to find a copy of that System.

FATAL: a half-starved heroin addict, a Neonazi and a 200 pound heavy, six-foot punk take turns stomping and spitting on a Sandwich someone threw on the train tracks. They are also discussing statistics for some weird reason, even though they don't share any common language.

[GnomeFighter]

Dark Herasy: A Chinese restaurant that a friend recommended in the next town over as doing "real" Chinese. Not too far from what you know, but far enough to be different. He swears by the place but you have never tasted "real" Chinese food before and vaguely remember something about baby birds and rotten eggs. The menu looks mostly like the local Chinese place, except the waiter keeps suggesting you try one of the items your not sure about. On top of this they only give you chop sticks and your food is hot. Someone in your party is going to fumble get badly burnt.

[Komodo]

Paranoia: while traveling to a poor Hispanic country, you find a small, homey hotel just outside the city. The place has lovely gardening and decorations, but the doors have no locks and you are informed not to leave your valuables out because they might be stolen. The place is beautifully designed, but the staff either doesn't know the answers to your questions, lies about it, or does not speak your language. It doesn't matter, though, because you have a friendly guide (who's almos certainly ripping you off) and there are plenty of overpriced souvenirs to buy. Everywhere you go is an adventure, and when you head home, you hardly miss any of the things you lost.

Don't Rest Your Head: Acting on a hunch from an acquaintance, you find the thatch hut in the middle of the swamp. You are warmly greeted by your hosts and shown to your bed. The place is simple, and could really stand a bit of paint, but it will do. You find it's true charms as the hosts lead you on nature walks, take you kayaking, and tell you stories about local myths by the light of a campfire. You get bitten by bugs, but nothing too severe. You feel a relief leaving all the complexities of your life behind as you eat simple yet healthy and tasty food the host prepare themselves. For your next vacations, you ask your friends if they would like to return there, but everyone prefers the hotel in the city, even though it's more expensive and they've been there before. Still, you go there just to spend time with your friends. But you will never forget that hovel.

[Craft (Cheese)]

Nobilis = Haskell, beautiful and elegant once you understand the basic ideas behind it, completely incomprehensible if you don't.

s f g x = f x (g x)

k x y   = x

b f g x = f (g x)

c f g x = f x g

y f     = f (y f)

cond p f g x = if p x then f x else g x

fac  = y (b (cond ((==) 0) (k 1)) (b (s (*)) (c b pred)))

[Erik Vale]

If Games were Food.

DnD: Stir-Fry. What kind of stir fry you ask? Whichever you like. There isn't much in the way of quality control though and the chef may through in something random.

Gurps/Heroes: A large recipe book. And all the ingredients you need for all but 2 or 3 recipes, you'll have to improvise with those or drive to the local supermarket half a continent away.

Robotech: The most delicious sandwich ever that, were it not for nutritional requirements, you would live off... Everyone else seems to hate the taste though.

Maelstorm: A old chocolate bar of a type you remember as being good... But it seems to be out of date... Hmm... Do I risk it?

Freeform: Make your own salad.

PbP of the Above: Varies from ordering food from online [take away or food for the next week] or getting food shipped over from Russia by boat, when your in Antarctica.

[navar100]

4E is LG
Ars Magica is NG
3E is CG
2E is LN
GURPS is N
Fantasy Warhammer is CN
Rolemaster is LE
RIFTS is NE
Paranoia is CE

[Randomguy]

<If Systems were Diners snip>

And Continuum would be a restaurant with the worlds best sushi, but one that no one has ever gone to.

[The Rose Dragon]

And Continuum would be a restaurant with the worlds best sushi, but one that no one has ever gone to.

Well, everyone who really likes sushi has gone to it. It's just that few people like sushi that much.

[Sylthia]

1st ed D&D: is Fire Emblem 1. It's a nice game, but I experienced the later games first and moving back feels odd and the rules seem rough.

2nd ed D&D: Fire Emblem 4-5, it improved upon the original but could be tough and fatal to the inexperienced.

3rd ed D&D: Fire Emblem 6-7 took many of the things of the previous editions, but made it more accessible for a new audience.

3.5 D&D: Fire Emblem 9 Minor changes from FE7, but more or less the same game.

4th ed D&D: Fire Emblem 10, it's a nice game, but it's changed so much that it doesn't feel like D&D anymore.

[Straybow]

If systems were programming languages:

• GURPS - Java
• D&D - C
• AD&D - C++
• D&D 3.5 - C#
• D&D 4th - PHP
• World of Darkness - Python
• Dark Heresy - Ruby
• Deadlands - Perl
• Fate - Go
• MERP - Scheme
• Role Master - Lisp
• Paranoia - Brainf*ck

(Obviously this list is limited by the languages I've used (or in some cases googled once or twice), the systems I've played, and my desire to have 1 RPG per programming language. I don't feel strongly enough to argue about any of it, except that GURPS is java.)

FATE seems more like LOGO to me.

Also, the lack of any BASIC derivative in the list makes me sad. (No, 4e is not VB.)

Melee - BASIC

[Saintheart]

Well, everyone who really likes sushi has gone to it. It's just that few people like sushi that much.

And they only like sushi because their Elders told them they have to or ALL EXISTENCE IS SURE TO CRASH IF YOU DON'T.

[Razanir]

Programming languages:

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AD&D– C. A nice language, but doesn't have all the options
2e– C++
3.0– Early editions of Java. They made it easier to use, but some features were missing or not thought out
3.5– Newer editions of Java. They cleaned it up and added missing features
PF– Java in NetBeans v Java in Eclipse. Very, very similar, just with a few differences
4e– Gamemaker. Specialized and kinda useless if it's not what you want
5e– Construct or Greenfoot. Combining 3.5 and 4e and getting back to programming

NON D&D SYSTEMS:
Legend– Python. Different, but in a good way
GURPS– Assembly. Powerful, but complicated. (From what I've heard)
FATAL– Malbolge, but typed so that it forms questionable images.

Sandwich shops

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AD&D– Jimmy John's. Nice, but not much in the way of options
3.5– Subway. Many options
PF– Quizno's. A competitor
4e– They only make one type of sandwich, but they do it really well
Legend– A sushi shop. Similar concept, but clearly inspired by Japan
FATAL– A sandwich shop with far more options than anyone would ever use. And each location is a strip club

[Geigan]

Mmmm, sushi.

Also, as a Python programmer I approve of this message.

[Grinner]

If systems were programming languages:

• GURPS - Java
• D&D - C
• AD&D - C++
• D&D 3.5 - C#
• D&D 4th - PHP
• World of Darkness - Python
• Dark Heresy - Ruby
• Deadlands - Perl
• Fate - Go
• MERP - Scheme
• Role Master - Lisp
• Paranoia - Brainf*ck

I have to disagree with some of these. C# is far too easy to use to be D&D 3.5. Seems more like D&D 4e.

And I'm tempted to say GURPS is assembly, but it doesn't seem quite anal-retentive enough. C, perhaps?

[TheCountAlucard]

In the swords/weapons vein:

Exalted is a massive sword, nine feet long and a foot across, made of solid gold, and studded with precious, perfectly-cut gems. Its design is intensely stylized, with depictions of demons and gods and heroes all along the blade.

It's a thing of beauty, really, but you know you can't actually use it.

[The Rose Dragon]

In the swords/weapons vein:

Exalted is a massive sword, nine feet long and a foot across, made of solid gold, and studded with precious, perfectly-cut gems. Its design is intensely stylized, with depictions of demons and gods and heroes all along the blade.

It's a thing of beauty, really, but you know you can't actually use it.

Solars can, but then again, Solars can do most anything given enough time and resources.

[Razanir]

I forgot to include a sandwich.

Mazes and Minotaurs is the Jimmy John's Unwich (lettuce instead of bread). Same concept, different inspiration and execution