Group Jokes and Memes

[Ulysses WkAmil]

So, I just killed one of my players with an axe wielding barbarian, while the wizard sat helplessly by. Now, the initial shock was rather grim, but the other members and I developed a sense of humor about it. An example of what I post on his facebook:

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Now whether he likes it or not, this is getting made fun of. That was just one of the many photos. (We are a group of friends, but he was still somewhat attached to his character). We have many other inside jokes, which make the game a lot more fun than it already is.
I'd like to hear about some inside jokes or player-torment that other people of the playground have.

[Souju]

Unless a module specifically states we encounter a bear, we are not allowed to have bears in any campaign we make. The reasons for this are unbearable.

I'm pretty sure my predilections towards making female characters with bizarre builds (Very first character was a Tiefling Barbarian/Rogue. That was the NORMAL one! Either my race is weird, my class build is weird, such as a Sword Saint Samurai that actually doesn't specialize in the katana, or their personality is weird.) is almost as famous as one player's love of playing monks and another's love of playing casters named "Zim."
The family tree of the monk loving player has become the stuff of legend. And now that he's dropped the family tree for whatever reason, he has gained a new legend as "I AM GOING TO GRAPPLE EVERYTHING! EVEN IF COMMON SENSE SAYS IT'S A BAD IDEA!"
And damn do we love it.

[Raine_Sage]

Once our GM ran a sidequest that saw our meager party of three trying to navigate through an enchanted forest. Fed up with the hidden pathways and generally difficult layout of the place our warforged decided he was going to use his grappling hook on absolutely everything. On the cliff, on the tree, on the skeleton behind the waterfall, if we reached a point where we weren't sure how to progress he'd just use the grappling hook on everything. To this day "I use my grappling hook" has become shorthand for "I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing here" in our party.

The next one requires a bit more explaining because the list of fails is quite long. So this is in our current campaign, our characters all start off on a boat heading for the star fall islands. The plan is to have them interact a bit, pirate ambush, fight scene, and then they all knock off to the local island pub for some food and bonding over how they totally kicked ass.

So we go around the table saying where our characters are and what they're doing. Sorcerer's rummaging through people's luggage, halfling's puking over the side of the boat etc.

He gets to the dragonborn on our ship (He named him something french, I can't begin to spell it so we'll call him johnny for the purposes of this post) and Johnny replies "I'm trying to chop down the mast."

There's a pause while this piece of info sinks in. So of course the dragonborn is taken town to the brig (not before dislocating his shoulder while attempting to escape) and held there until the fight starts. When the fight starts Nox (changeling ranger) decides the crazy dragon guy with a huge battleaxe might be useful in fending off pirates and goes to break him out. Johnny melts the bars with his acid breath once Nox gets his muzzle off, so far so good. But then, rather than simply step through the hole he has created, Johnny decides he's going to dive through the hole head first, while his arms are still bound.

The DM, fed up with Johnny's shenanigans, makes him roll acrobatics to see if he leaps through the bars successfully (he wouldn't have made him roll anything if he'd just walked out like a normal person). Johnny rolls a 1 and then a 3 and crashes head first into the unmelted bars and knocks himself out for three turns. The battle was over in 2. He only gained exp from the fight because our DM is a really nice guy. Luckily he seems to have learned from the boat incident and has mellowed out some in terms of his desire to use his axe to solve all his problems. But "don't be a johnny" is now a term we use to warn characters away from insane courses of action and the campaign isn't even over yet.

[genderlich]

This would have taken place back in December, at the start of a new campaign. I was playing Pavo, the wizard in my current avatar, who hailed from a remote desert nation, Syrrozhia. We were talking about some random thing in-character, I don't even remember what, and I made some quip, out of character, regarding an actual game rule like saving throws or something. But the other players thought I was in character still saying that, and they said something like "He failed his Perception check? What the hell does that mean?" Thinking on my feet, I went back to my elderly wizard voice and said "It's an old desert saying." To this day, an "old desert saying" has kept on being used whenever anyone references the actual rules during roleplaying, as if the denizens of Syrrozhia have some incredible third-wall-breaking insight.

[Lea Plath]

Well, I kind of, for a joke, threatened the players with a bear tank. A tank full of bears. Now, they seem intent of making it happen.

[Slipperychicken]

Well, I kind of, for a joke, threatened the players with a bear tank. A tank full of bears. Now, they seem intent of making it happen.

That is awesome. I want to face a bear tank one day...


Few years back, my Factotum cast Shrink Item on a Medium sized boulder (yes, I misread the volume limit stop judging me) which was holy because it was near a church, described as "as big as you are". Now, I forgot to ask the DM how much it weighed until I dropped it. He, fearing the worst, said it was 500lb. The group immediately devolved into a discussion about how that couldn't possibly be right given the dimensions, unless it was pumice or something, so the DM used the old standby "it's a magic rock", after which the group burst into laughter. Thereafter, whenever the DM would make an immersion-breaking ruling, we'd refer to it as "magic pumice" or "holy pumice".

Obviously, we also tell all the Monty Python quotes which plague D&D ("it's only a model"), as well as the other gamer jokes like "now roll for anal circumference" in reference needlessly-detailed rules, using phallic humor involving longspears and 10ft poles, or shooting magic missiles at the darkness, and so on. Not the most creative or clever humor, but it's good for a laugh.

[Arraxis]

We used nWoD to run a zombie survival game, which turned out well, and then we shifted from that into Mage and Vampire, which turned out not so well. Anyway my character became a mage, and for some reason or another we were required to deal with a small vampire infestation as they were breaking the Masquerade and making things tricky for everyone. Life magic was my strongest point, and there were quite a few interesting spells in there that I thought would help. One of them turned living things into different living things.

Anyway, as the GM described the place, I asked if there were any trees around. He confirmed that there were, and had a look on his face that seemed quizzical, as he wondered why I'd ask such a question. Anyway, this spell specifically allowed me to turn trees into other things as well, which included insect swarms, and due to the laws of physics, the bigger the tree, the more bugs I could create.

So when I asked "How big are the trees?" I had a very good reason for asking. Especially for knowing how big they'd be considered in in game sizes. I absolutely floored the GM with the question, as I really doubt someone would plan for such a thing, and this was also our first time playing Mage. Everyone at the table started laughing for 5 minutes, and it took some time to resume the session, and work out how to resolve my question satisfactorily. (Turned out that buffing my dexterity to ridiculous levels was a much more effective strategy than creating bees, but that's irrelevant.)

Anyway, a couple of years later and occasionally we'll still ask "How big are the trees?" whenever someone asks a stupid question, or something seemingly irrelevant, or as a reminder to be prepared for everything.

[Hyena]

Every time we encounter an annoying DMPC, we call him Gandalf and shower him with praise. The source is obvious.
Non-lethally "subduing" people with arrows, zweihanders and fireballs.
Random characters can get bizzare characterization when out of game, which tends to slip into IC. Paladin can be treated like ladies' man, our barbarian is an english gentleman, our jedi eat babies and blow up the brothels.
Blowing up a brothel is a meme itself - it happened so during a fight, enemies decided to take us with them and activated a very potent explosive, capable of destroying an entire floor. My character kicked it into an elevator and sent it off. How it's a meme? We constantly shift the blame of an accidental murder spree that ensued twelve seconds after on to each other.

[OverdrivePrime]

"Roll like Dave!" - when the chips are down, no one rolls better. The dude has the luckiest dice possible for clutch situations.

Cameos by Keith's characters are always referenced with "- goatee, a katana, a cape flowing in the wind, Anime speed lines and a constant stream of charismatic chatter." - because that is all the guy played , in systems ranging from WEG Star Wars to D&D to Rifts, for about 15 years.

Every major city in my games has a Drunken Monkey Interdimemsional Tavern & Inn franchise. No exceptions.

Maggey gets special treatment from the DM. No exceptions - except the one time she played in Kristen's campaign. Awkward...

[QuintonBeck]

In a game I ran last year the party needed to make gather information rolls in the city, our Paladin rolled a one, and thinking quickly I told him he went and asked his horse, Bill, if he knew anything. From then on whenever the party needed some information they would turn to the Pally and say, "Why don't you ask Bill about [blank]"

[Vknight]

"Go to Sleep Sarah"
Player liked to play females named Sarah. Played a Monsters & Other Childish Things game were she played a 9 year old too everyone else and their 13-14 year old characters.
As such the other PC's acknowledge they were going to treat her like the kid sister. So in game time 10:30pm, party decides to break into the movies.
Ok Sarah comes in they ask her to go away and relocate from the living room to the kitchen. Sarah comes in again asking too help. The party moves again to the roof.
She follows

#1: Why are you following us?
Sarah: No one said goodnight.
#1: Go to Sleep Sarah
#2: I don't think that counts as goodnight
#1's player proceeds to do a hiss snap with his fingers and says that is what his character is doing towards #2, followed by 'Go to Sleep Sarah'
Sarah: Yeah Go To Sleep Sarah
#1 & 2 & 3: *Sighs*

As such its become the go too for a PC to leave the scene, room, or stop talking.

Also
"Don't pull/be a Virgil"
Long & Short of it; Don't Pull/Be a Virgil refers to doing any of this
-Don't make a character and or expect the game you super want too happen because the group decides and they may not want too play that.
-Don't make a ridiculous character and expect too play it
-Don't make a ridiculous character and expect too have fun with the rest of the group
-Don't make a super generalized character and get upset if they can't handle a specialist
-Don't make a super generalized character with one super expensive and rarely useful ability
-Don't make a over-specialized character and when they need to do something outside of that specialty get upset.
-Don't be stupid...

The Story Behind Virgil

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Virgil was a character for a Supers game.
And the player kept on wanting him too be an angel and detect the hearts of men. Long story short he wanted evil-radar/soul sight so he could identify a person in or out of costume and attack them when they were not ready.
That was the first use of Don't Pull a Virgil refering to not making a character who defeated the point of the game/system.

It also gained a second usage
Virgil was played eventually without the whole being an angel... after 2 hours of work explaining why in street tier that wouldn't work(not the least of which being I was going more Rings upon rings around a burning star covered in eyes)
So what did Virgil have? Wings, Light Control, Above average stats, weapon generation for melee, flight well he could use the wings, time stop and no combat skill on the offensive or defensive.

Wait What?
Yeah what do you mean Vknight?
Virgil had spent almost nothing to boost his attack rolls. He has +2 to attacks.
He had a 11 Defense.
His saves were all poor +4 Toughness, +4 Fortitude, +5 Reflex, +3 Will(Applying stat benefits and bonuses from ranks)

Wait time stop is effective in combat!
No no its not in street tier were 3 ranks cost 2/9ths of your total points.
3 Ranks meaning the average thug needs to roll below an 9 to fail.
So Virgil was way too spread out and I couldn't get the player to listen.
So we had Virgil the man who thought he was an angel who could freeze time for a group of people in a 20ft area for 18 seconds. And he could fly at a massive 25MPH, could control light within 60ft to heal, fire energy bolts, create a shield(+3 to his defense against attacks if he used light control only for that), and finally flares.

So Virgil was a utility character.
Who wanted to fight other supers and bring them too justice.
First Session 'Bank Robbery'

4 Guys with Pistols watching the place. 1 other guy with a shotgun also watchign the place
1 Guy watching the street with a high caliber handgun
2 Guys in the back with Shotguns along with a guy carrying a Uzi getting the tellers to empty out stuff from the vault.
1 guy off in the corner who looks to be a civilian in a black suit, carrying what most would call the Grandfather of all Hand-Cannons. Perception, Sense Motive, and Knowledge[Occult Checks], all of which failed.

Group Enters in after hearing about it from various sources. They all have gotten powers recently or powers finally hit the point they realized hey I could do something rather then make jerks have frozen cokes.
(The Group: Frost[Ice Themed], Vine[Plant Controller], Burst[Darkness/Smog Controller/Made of the stuff], Ninshu[Ninja+Lightning Gauntlets], and Virgil)

They all burst in from various locations.
Frost comes in on the 3 in the back along with Ninshu using ancient ninja arts to be in the vault.
Vine took the front using a Rose to entrap the guy at the door
Burst, dropped down on one of the guys with pistols knocking him down
Virgil flies into the bank draws his sword and throws down a time stop which everyone resists except Burst who fails the roll.

So now 1 PC down(luckily Burst is immune to the low caliber bullets only Shotguns or higher could hurt her) for 3 rounds
Combat starts up Vine wraps up 3 at once and they all fail preps next round to knock them all unconscious.
Ninshu lightnings a shotgun guy. Frost freeze-bolts the other.
Virgil walks up to the entrapped thugs and slices them... His swords cannot harm those unable to protect themselves/fight etc. so he frees them by virtue of sword cutting vines.
They all act without penalty. One kicks at him another grabs his gun the final tackles him.

So Virgil gets knocked down from a kick plus tackle combo pinning him. Well another guy will get up and prep a head-shot at point-blank.
Other guys shoot the more dangerous vine and miss.

Next round others finish thugs.
Virgil still has his three. Tries Time Freeze fails. Uses special quality on Light Ability to try and hit all 3 thugs. Spends Hero Points for second action.
He knocks them all off. Problem said ability makes him tired. Hits everything in range. Including the civilians who were now all dead. and Shroud who auto-fails the save because time-stop.

Now seeing all this going down the guy no one thought was a thug leaves.
Virgil flies after and attacks saying he must be fleeing justice.
Keeping in mind none had made any checks to notice the guy so had no knowledge of him being a thug, or anything.
So Virgil catches up well the other clean up the place and explain too the cops.
And it goes down hill when Virgil draws his sword causes panic does time stop freezes some civilians and gets a car driver. So now the car's driver is frozen with his foot on the gas.
Car Crash more dead civilians and now a cop on the scene after another round or so of this.
Cop see's Virgil trying to kill some random man. After having killed at least too the cops eyes 4 people(The Actual Total including deaths by proxy was 22)
Cop shoots gets a crit. Virigl rolls a nat 1 and with no Hero Points drops from a headshot to the back of the head from the now named Hero Cop, Officer Juarez

"Super Jaguar"
-Anytime the group cannot defeat a simple encounter or enemy. Stems from a fight in Shadowrun vs. a Jaguar who proceeded to defeat the 6 Runners... normal Jaguar.
2 Adepts, 1 Rigger, 2 Street-Samurai, 1 Bounty Hunter.
vs.
Jaguar
They lost and the Jaguar managed to kill the Orc Street-Sam

"Cannibalism"
Anytime rations, food comes up. Lets eat the Halflings first(or whatever small race is in the group. Never was Halflings but that was there go to example), followed by why not(biggest character in group)

[CarpeGuitarrem]

Well, I kind of, for a joke, threatened the players with a bear tank. A tank full of bears. Now, they seem intent of making it happen.

See, in my country, if I tried to threaten my players with a tank of bears, I might get in trouble.

I have a story from a friend's group, actually. As I recall, it involved one of the Tome of Battle Classes that had to make Concentration checks (unless I'm misremembering gravely). They had taken a feat (or something) which let them forego rolling Concentration (or maybe it was a class ability? I dunno).

But every time, the DM would ask them to roll a Concentration check. "I get 32." And the next time. "I get 32." And again. "I get 32." And the DM kept asking for Concentration rolls, each time the situation came up, despite the fact that it was going to be the same exact thing each time.

So eventually, it got to the point where one of the other players (the DM's current wife, as I recall) just said, "Don't you get it? 32 is the EPIC NUMBER!"

And it has remained the Epic Number ever since.

[Dihan]

We have three in our group (we only play 4e):

1) Our old DM liked his DMPCs to be the centre of attention. He had this Shardmind Psion called Hanzu that existed solely to show how incompetent we, the players, were. The DM left but we still boom "Hanzu!" whenever our current DM (who was one of the players during the tenure of the last) has his NPCs do extreme things.

2) We were in a desert town attempting to get intelligence on this evil cult that was operating nearby. So we went to see the local scatterbrained wizard/zoologist because we were told by some informants that he could help us. We had found out that this female Eladrin would go out into the desert once a month to commune with some sort of powerful fey creature, so we were going to the wizard to see if he knew of any fey creatures in the desert. We failed our diplomacy checks so the wizard was becoming suspicious. The Bard decided to bluff. She rolled a 20. We managed to convince the wizard that we were hunting a legendary Arm Snake - an extremely rare flying serpent that could punch through most solid matter with ease - and that there was only one natural predator for the Arm Snake: a desert-dwelling fey creature. We told him that we wanted to use the fey creature as bait to get the Arm Snake.

Enthused, the wizard decided to join us but he began to get suspicious when we turned up at the home of the female Eladrin to search for clues. The Bard rolled really high on bluff again and told him that we had found evidence that the Eladrin had access to an Arm Snake sample. Enraged, the wizard burst in (after disabling the arcane locks and traps - the main purpose we wanted him there) and we used him as a scapegoat.

The Arm Snake became the Bard's go-to bluffing subject.

3) Our knowledge-based Deva Invoker was bored and frustrated one day because the DM likes to screw-over a party member of two each session. This one had radiant-resisting enemies and lots of strength skill checks. So towards the end of the final encounter the Invoker charged at the boss - shouting "Deva PAWNCH!" with his staff and clonked him over the head, criticaling, and killed it.

Each time he gets fed up and charges at an enemy he ends up getting a critical hit. He's done this four times now.

[Snowbluff]

I used "Excavate Brain Matter" as a skill in a homebrew zombie game. The Dm and group were able to recover after I used to coup de grace an infected soldier, but when I used it on a living zombie, the game had to be canceled. The DM was laughing so hard.

I once ate the party psion.

"How are you doing this?" "I'm a wizard, Nick." Which is why I don't play wizards in my in-person games.

[The Fury]

The longest-running one in our group: "No Takeback Theatre."
For a while it was acceptable for someone to claim that their character, "Didn't really do that," whenever they took a stupid action. At one point the DM had enough and ruled that there would be no more "Takeback Theatre." Since then "No Takeback Theatre," has come to be more of an acknowledgement that you have done something stupid.

One of our group's dead memes: "The Stargate is too small to drive a tank through."
During a Stargate Game one of the players wanted to take a tank through the Stargate. The DM ruled that the Stargate was too small for that and was met with skepticism. For a while "The Stargate is too small to drive a tank through," was used to express skepticism on a DM's ruling before becoming more general ridicule. Even outside of Stargate. Once when a Stargate appeared in D&D, one player asked how big it was. Another responded with, "Too small to drive a war-carriage through."

A new running gag that someone says he plans on taking to his group was inspired by an event in a game. One PC was a captain of a ship with a crew. When one of the crewmen was stranded with another PC the captain's player turned to a player that was just waiting her turn and asked, "Hey, what's this crewman's name?"
she responded with, "Oh! Um... Felipe!"
As soon as she came up with a name, a monster showed up and threw Felipe off a cliff. She was pretty upset about that.
The running gag the DM wants to introduce is to have one of the players name random NPCs only to see something horrible happen to them. I haven't asked if it's caught on yet.

[Janus]

"I seduce the _____!"
I have to blame Gamers II: Dorkness Rising for my tendency to say that. I also have a tendency to write out very elaborate depictions of natural 20s.
For instance, a 20 on an Intimidate:

As Jairus rolls a 20, a great hush resounds throughout the land. Without reason, the people of villages throughout the realm grow quiet and somber. Arguing families grow quiet, hanging their heads in shame. Warring nations suddenly throw down their arms, awkwardly trying to look away from one another.
And meanwhile, within the 9th Hell itself, Asmodeus suddenly feels the need to apologize to a few people.

[Azreal]

"What have we learned"
It started with your typical everyone meets at a tavern, started a bar fight and in the middle of it our rogue tries to steal the gold on the table where an eagle eyed man caught him and with a nat 20 stabbed his hand to the table. Upon bandaging that phrase was first uttered.
We proceeded to ask him that every time he failed a roll or did anything stupid to the point where it jumped games.

[Deathkeeper]

"But is it holy?" started out as one of those running gags that only the player using it finds funny and is pretty much intended to annoy the DM (in this case asking for Knowledge Religion rolls after any place or thing is introduced). After said player got kicked it's become something humorous to say when a particularly long-winded description is given of something or you're trying to point out that you're clueless.

[RoyVG]

Our latest campaign seems to have a vodka fetish. it's literally the only think half the party wants to drink. None of these characters are in the current party....

we also had a thing with a demonically possesed pig, which was one of the characters pet, before he angered the demons. Now it serves as a mount for one of the other players. This Pig loved to charge a certain party member and he fell to negative HP every so often (vodka also helped with this)

Angels are arsonists and must not be trusted with any source of fire

The phrase "tegeepee" spoken really fast always puts a small grin on our DM's face. I believe it's from the first merchant/shop where we tried to do some shopping. We asked for the price of a certain item, all he said was "tegeepee" really fast and we couldn't understand it the first time. After saying it 3 more times, we finally figure out it was 10gp.

My friend has a tendency to roll bad at all his rolls outside of combat, unless life threatening
I always have a tendency to roll bad at all my rolls during combat, unless life threathening

[Dihan]

I forgot about a fourth - the tapas bars.

We were a bit bored of eating in inns so we searched for something more exciting. The DM likes to have our input on things so I jokingly suggested a tapas bar. Since then there has been a tapas bar in every settlement we've come across on the material plane. There was even one ran on a merchant vessel we hired. Each one was ran by an identical looking and sounding man with a terrible Italian accent. We all know very well that tapas is Spanish. The first thing we do when we come to a new city is ask if there's a tapas bar.

[Big Fau]

I've got the hobofort.

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The party's Warforged Dread Necromancer acts a lot like the Medic from TF2, and demonstrated this on a city's homeless population. At the time it was too funny to reprimand him for it (and he was joking about it), so he decided to kick up the crazy levels a bit by turning the corpses into the mortar to build a fort (out of their collective bones, no less). He carries it around (again, this is largely in jest) and uses it as his house.

"...Popo."

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The party's Warlock knows the Baleful Utterance invocation, and uses it primarily on locked things (much to the Rogue's annoyance). The locks don't break, the doors just know better.

[TheCountAlucard]

"Eat the ******* candy bar!"
"Oh god it's delicious!"

Our Shadowrun group was being run through Food Fight, an introductory adventure. They're getting chow at the "Stuffer Shack," 2070's equivalent of a 7-11, when a bunch of thugs blow up the front of the store and start making a hassle.

One of the magical characters casts the equivalent of a suggestion spell on one of the thugs, and orders him to start eating the candy.

[SuperPanda]

When I was back in Uni I had two players who were Meme-tastic. One of them just played awesomely off everyone in the group, he's a great and charismatic guy who rolls with the punches and comes up swinging when it comes to in-group teasing. The other guy was just too much of a natural target: Proud without being terribly capable, thin-skinned while loving to join in on the teasing, and proof positive that Karma has a dark sense of humor.

From the first player we got many much loved meme's that just became in-jokes, punchlines, and the such.

"Flying your ferret" (before xkcd did it) started because his first character was a Sorcerer who scouted using his familiar and a Mage Hand spell to check for dangers. I had a well deserved reputation in the group for making far too many puns and inuendos, and so the first time I said, "And the sorcerer is elsewhere flying his ferret." The entire group stopped to try to figure out what, exact, dirty thing I was implying he was doing. Probably because I was stumped this became a meme and now we've all decided that it is definately a dirty comment, but no one can agree on what it means (which makes it all the dirtier because no one can explain it and just winds up blushing around people who don't get it).

"Panda's mate for life" Was used as Safe-Word in one of the player's "con the bad guy" plans. And he and I made the tension in that scene rise pretty high until he just blurts out "You know, Panda's mate for life" leaving the bad guy completely confused while the PCs start hacking away. It broke the tension so beautifully that someone, somewhere, will invariably use it as a password in every game now.

For the other guy, he got us, "It's the cloak." he was playing a Bard and he set up a super dramatic introduction to showcase how awesome of a Bard he was, and then couldn't roll above a 3 on any perform check for the whole first adventure. At the end of the adventure he got a Magic bardic cloak + Cha and + perform. After that story even his die never landed lower than a 15 on a perform check (when he was wearing the cloak)... leading the less generous characters in the group to assume that it was the cloak and not the Bard. This probably would have stopped early on, but he didn't let it drop and his attempts to disprove the idea (because his dice hated him and loved comedy) actually further entrenched the idea in the other PCs.

[Shyftir]

"Is he carrying a torch?"

In our group you always killed the enemy with the torch first. This morphed into asking if anybody you just met was carrying a torch and then killing them if they did. Also to giving a torch to members of your party you aren't happy with.

"We go right."
It's always right to go to the right. (duh)

"Rocks fall, Matt's character dies."
I was running late to DM a session and texted this message due to my friend's super annoying halfling beguiler. (The character was dedicated to using whelm and spells that made enemies lose their turn. Especially swift versions of said spells.)

[Zanos]

"I have attended to The Greased One. She was most displeased."

I was a level one Wizard. Our party had just gotten back from an encounter with some bandits, in which there was a female civilian being robbed. The bandits had surrounded her, and since I had the opportunity to catch three of them, I cast grease. I also caught the woman in it, and everyone fell down. The spell doesn't do damage, but apparently I mentally scared the woman for life. When we returned to the priest in the keep to have our wounds mended, he looked me in the and uttered the above line. Even though I typically only memorize 1 or 2 castings of grease on a given day, I'm still called the "Master of Grease" for using the spell that one time. I apparently "lube them up real good" for the party fighter.

[Paperback]

The only particularly funny one I can think of at the moment is this.

"Obviously the Moose did it."
"Moose are OP! Nerf Moose!"

The context behind it: one time while traveling through the mountains, I rolled on the random encounter table for my players (I still used a book for this a half-year ago) and got an "Interesting Event" which a further roll revealed to be a hunter's trap. The party ninja spotted it in time and the only thing I could think of what type of trap it was a pit trap. The NEXT random encounter they had was with the hunters, who put down said trap. The only animal that I could think they were hunting for with pit traps that big would be moose. The fighter, of course, wants to ride a moose.

A session later my characters were having a very brief in-game two week downtime while they refreshed and made some magic items. Now, the party fighter doesn't want to sit around the city and instead wants to head back into the mountains and find a moose to ride. He goes out hunting for a week and finds a herd of moose and decides to fight them. I pull up the stats on moose, and what do I see? Intelligence 3. That's right, sentient moose. So I fight smartly. The moose headbutts the fighter in a bull rush and pushes him into a swift-running river. He then proceeds to narrowly fail his swim check, and goes over the waterfall, dragging the moose down with him.

The fighter and moose have an epic duel for two rounds as they plummet to the rocks below. (By this time, my other players have already come up with a ridiculous scenario where this particular moose was actually the white moose that killed the fighter's parents and he was completing his ten-year mission of revenge.) The moose dies, but the fighter takes massive damage from the fall and falls unconscious.

Essentially, he was pushed off of a cliff by a sentient, evil moose that was later ruled to have horrifically murdered his family in the past.

[Extra_Crispy]

Lets see there are a few

Pulling a C***** (a guy I know's last name). Basically for cheating, espically on character creation. Or when reading the rules and not reading the whole thing and interperting what you did read to do what you want it to do even though the rule is no where near that, basically breaking the rule or cheating. Came about in a Warhammer game in which he rolled up a character with a poor weapon skill and ballistic skill. Between game sessions he conviently lost his character sheet but "remembered the whole thing" and now his cleric had weapon skill of 39 (40 is max), balistic skill of 38, and all other stats that are combat important were very high.

Danny math-- friend that seems to never be able to add stuff up correctly. In a pathfinder game his character had 20 more hit points then it was possible for him to have. I played one of his characters a couple of games because he asked me to while he could not show up for the game. Another player and I could not figure out how his he got his bonus to hit either. It was mathmatically inpossible. At one point is was slightly too high then later it was too low, so he was not trying to cheat.

Joe-joe dice -- If we ever need to make the roll we channel the power of joe-joe dice. I saw one game where he, playing a paladin, fighting an anti-paladin, rolled 20s to hit and 20s to parry 4 times in a row each. He once shot a arrow at a flying dragon hitting it in the eye and killing it with one arrow.

Ken dice -- The exact opposite of Joe-joe dice. That man has the worst luck with dice rolling I have ever seen. If you start to have horrible rolls we call it either ken dice or ken luck.

[DontEatRawHagis]

Last night the LFR group I'm in inventedd the Suppository Mints. Supposi-Mints.

Yeah, you should have been there.

[Krazzman]

In the current group we have a "joke" going on that stems from our Warhammer game.

Our Witchhunter is interrogated and due to this being in another room as we were planning the next steps we can't hear anything... except for the OOC phrase "[DM's nickname] I can't do that..." in a whiny tone. Now everytime something get's "hard" we say this phrase in his games.

[SethoMarkus]

First, wow, these are great!

In a campaign I was in the party cleric was the only human character of the bunch, and also happened to be the party face. Unfortunately, he had notoriously bad rolls. One time, when we were trying to negotiate with a sentient polar bear (yes, the DM ripped off Golden Compass, don't judge), he rolled a natural 1 on Diplomacy. Thinking quickly, the third party member and myself rolled Diplomacy and each passed the DC, saving the situation, but from that day on the cleric was known as "Morndil, Poor Speaker of Men."