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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Bugbear in the Playground
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Arse end of nowhere, UK
    Gender
    Male

    Default Meet my amphibious 'friends' (3.5 Race, PEACH)

    This is part of a much bigger project of stuff I use but never wrote down properly, stuff I don't use but did write down properly, and stuff I lost so I have to do it all again...for now there's this, I give you the Moloque, nasty son of a b**** if ever I saw one.

    Changelog:
    Spoiler
    Show

    02/07/13
    • Tweaked number of spines granted by Spines ability
    • Changed racial feats to grant extra spines/day to assist scaling payback for investment of feats
    • Added 3 new feats as a pre-cursor to 3 five level PrCs (one for each Clutch Fate)
    • Added Penetrating Spines to keep ability relevant for any Moloque wishing to develop their Spines ability

    04/07/13
    • Tidied presentation with spoilers
    • Added Rogue substitution levels
    • Added Barbarian substitution levels
    • Added Favoured Soul substitution levels
    • Fixed a couple of spelling/grammar mistakes which I totally didn't make...

    06/-7/13
    • Reworded Spines ability to make it more like a standard natural attack
    • Tweaked Rapid Spines feat
    • Added a bit of fluff and age/height/weight entries.

    10/07/13
    • Tidied up some of the fluff and spoilered to reduce Wall of Text DC for readers
    • Added section on religion and a spoiler with some details of Asha'loque
    • Added sections on homeland and language



    MOLOQUES

    Fast and fluid movements just under the water's surface are often the first and last sight of a Moloque in a persons life (which is usually about to be cut rather short). These amphibious reptiles seem to have come straight out of the paleolithic, evolving in a remote swampland and delta virtually untouched by the outside world until relatively recently.
    Not so much evil as primeval, they employ fierce and sudden ambush tactics on their prey, unfortunately most Moloques have not yet learned to differentiate between sentient being and prey. The few who interact socially (or at least attempt to) refer to themselves as being 'Out of the Swamp'. It is these who are best suited to player characters.

    Personality:
    Spoiler
    Show
    On the surface most Moloques appear pretty much the same, cold, vicous and brutal. However, behind the instinct bred into them lies distinct and often quirky characters, each with an unsual outlook on the world. To a Moloque, life is something to both immerse yourself in and fight against. How else are you to survive and prove your worth? How else does one honour Mother Swamp for the gifts she gave you?
    Any Moloque who is out of the swamp has learned to control their urges in a more civilised manner, and therefore do not tend to attempt to decapitate people to get their point across with anything like the frequency a 'wild' one might. Make no mistake, some are actually pleasant enough company, and they are not all bad by a long shot, but the instinct to dominate the environment will always be strong.


    Physical Description:
    Spoiler
    Show
    A Moloque could, at a distance and in poor light, be mistaken for a lizardfolk, but any closer inspection would notice they are shorter, with a bulkier tail and dotted with spiny protrusions on their arms, legs and shoulders, with a noticeable ridge of spines from a headcrest all the way down their back and tail. Adults sport a particularly over-developed area of spines on their forearms which point up the arm. These can be fired as a weapon, much like a porcupine's quills, but much larger and more damaging. They stoop somewhat when standing, gaining at least a foot in height when they rear up, and move in a mercurial and overly-jointed sort of way which is at complete juxtaposition to their seemingly muscular frame.
    On land, they are impressive, but in the water they show a grace which is lost somewhat on land. Moloques are excellent swimmers, tucking their arms up against their chest and splaying out their legs, they make an auqadynamic figure which is both fast and maneouverable. A small sail-like fin runs the length of their back spines and tail, normally retracted on land but reflexively taut when in the water.
    Females tend to be larger than males, and are seldom seen, appearing rather reclusive on the whole, but far more ferocious if threatened. Moloques have no known maximum age, and grow continuously throughout their lives, gaining a little height and weight every year. If one ever lives long enough it increases one size category/20HD it posseses. The vast majority of Moloques do not even get to middle age though, competition is deadly when it comes to mating and Moloques tend to meet trouble head-on in most cases, putting them at severe risk of an unpleasant end at the same time as giving them a fiersome reputation as foes. Rare examples of huge Moloques can be found in history and all appear to have been female.


    Relations:
    Spoiler
    Show
    Until recent years Moloques were widely regarded as highly dangerous pests with a humanoid appearance but animal intelligence. They would ocassionally raid farming areas on the new frontiers and have been known to nest and thrive in the sewer networks of larger cities. There have been frequent 'purges' of these creatures since they first emerged in the civilised world, and have been erroneously declared extinct by various different groups on five separate occassions.
    They don't play well with others, but those who are out of the swamp have shown they have a language, culture and history of their own which alarmingly pre-dates most other race's. As such, they have started to be taken seriously by some of the more accepting races (largely humans and the Moloque's Lizardfolk 'cousins'), but still produce wrath and venom from most races who have ever had to deal with them in the past. Almost universally reviled, but on the cusp of gaining a place in the larger world, Moloques are an ancient and yet recently emergent race.


    Alignment:
    Spoiler
    Show
    Moloques are almost exclusively chaotic by nature and virtually never lawful. The only law is that of the swamp, and they survive by being above that law. Many Moloques are evil, but most of them tend towards neutrality on this axis, and good ones are getting more and more common amongst those out of the swamp. However, with life amongst their own culture and people, almost all Moloques revert to chaotic neutral, where survival (both for the individual and the race as a whole) is the only thing which matters.


    Moloque Lands:
    Spoiler
    Show
    The large swampland and river delta from which the Moloques originate is still firmly held by them, no ohter species is as well equipped to deal with the treacherous and diverse ecology of the region. However, in the last century or two, out of the swamp Moloques have broken away from their homelands somewhat, and small communities (30-100) have sprung up in remote areas of marshland, swmaps and the like, but perhaps more worryingly they have also appeared in great numbers populating sewer systems of large cities. They are rather territorial by nature, although bit by bit, the city dwelling ones have opened up to other species in an attempt to co-exist with other races.


    Religion:
    Spoiler
    Show
    Almost all Moloques revere Asha'loque (see sub-spoiler below), who was supposedly the first sentient Moloque, and therefore the mother of the entire race. All Moloques are taught this from birth, and it is so ingrained within them that no other deity from distant lands or peoples can seem to hold any sway with them. In the last few decades there have been reports of out of the swamp Moloque shrines paying small acceptance to other gods, all of which have either the Water or Trickery domains (or both), but this is a reasonably new development and considered as heresy back in the swamp.

    Spoiler
    Show

    Asha'loque (Intermediate deity, Rank 15)
    Asha'loque is Chaotic Neutral, a hard and unforgiving mother for her children, showing little maternal empathy for the individual, but as a species she is utterly devoted to the Moloque race. Moloque histories tell us she was over 1000 years old when she ascended, back in the ancient past, whereupon she merged with the swamp to watch over her children, and remains there to this day. She teaches her children to endure harsh environments and to use every advantage and trick in their arsenal with ruthless efficiency. She watches over not only her children, but their home as well, ensuring the cycle of life and death in the swamp is maintained, whilst also ensuring her children's place at the top of it's food chain. Asha'loque cares little for any other race, she has watched many of them arrive over the millennia but considers them to be mostly out of place and flawed, unable to fit themselves into their own world properly.

    She favours her Spines as her weapon of choice (on the minuscule off-chance you have a non-Moloque follower of Asha'loque, any natural weapon will suffice), and grants access to the Death, Life, Water and Trickery domains.


    Language:
    Spoiler
    Show
    Moloques speak a language they call Mok'mok (literally meaning 'important noise') which is linguistically similar in many ways to Aquan, and likely developed from it. It's written form has nothing in common with ANY other known language however, apparently having been independently invented by Moloques a long time ago. Moloques raised outside of the swamp homeland speak common as well.


    Random Starting Ages
    {table=head]
    Adulthood
    |
    Simple
    |
    Moderate
    |
    Complex
    7 years
    |
    +1D4
    |
    +2D4
    |
    +3D4
    [/table]

    Aging Effects
    {table=head]
    Middle Age
    |
    Old
    |
    Venerable
    |
    Maximum Age
    30 years
    |
    45 years
    |
    60 years
    |
    -
    [/table]

    Random Height & Weight
    {table=head]
    Gender
    |
    Base Height
    |
    Height Modifier
    |
    Base Weight
    |
    Weight Modifier
    Male
    |
    5'
    |
    +2D4
    |
    125lb.
    |
    x(1D6)lb.
    Female
    |
    5'4"
    |
    +2D4
    |
    140lb.
    |
    x(2D4)lb.
    [/table]


    Racial Traits

    • +2 Dexterity, +2 Constitution, -4 Charisma: Moloques are supple and tough but lack a grasp on many of the finer points of civil interaction (as well as many not-so-fine points).

    • Medium size.

    • Humanoid (reptilian).

    • Base land speed 30ft.

    • Darkvision 60ft.

    • Amphibious: Moloques can breathe in water just as easily as they can in air, and have a natural swim speed equal to their base land speed (granting the standard +8 bonus to swim checks).

    • Spines: When they reach breeding age (6-7 years old) all Moloques develop a large growth of spines on their forearms, somewhat longer and more vicious-looking than the rest. A Moloque may shoot one of these spines per round as a natural attack which does not provoke attacks of opportunity. Treat these spines as thrown weapons with a 20ft range increment (10ft under water) for the purposes of feats and abilities, each spine deals 1D6 + 1/Character Level in piercing damage (note you do not add your Strength modifier to this value) and has a x3 critical. You have a number of spines per day equal to your base Constitution modifier + 3 (minimum 1) before you require at least 8 hours rest to regrow them. Many Moloques use water-proof poisons to tip their spines before entering battle, making them dangerous foes for the foolhardy.

    • +1 Natural Armour.

    • +4 Racial bonus to saves against poison and disease: Moloques are swamp creatures and have adapted to deal with a broad variety of unpleasant things.

    • Clutch Fate: All Moloques are born from a clutch of 3 eggs, all 3 are mostly grey in colour, but one is always black speckled (Brute), one is always red speckled (Hunter) and one is always white speckled (Mystic). Only one of these three will survive to adulthood in 99% of cases, having dispatched or survived their sibling 'competition' on their way to maturity. You must choose which one of the following three you were born as and gain the listed benefits, this choice may never be changed.
      The Brute: +2 Strength, +4 racial bonus to Jump and Intimidate checks, favoured class Barbarian.
      The Hunter: +2 Dexterity, +4 racial bonus to Hide and Move Silently whilst in water (+2 on land), favoured class Rogue.
      The Mystic: +2 Wisdom, +4 racial bonus to Sense Motive and Spellcraft, favoured class Favoured Soul.

    • Level Adjustment +1



    Feats
    Spoiler
    Show

    Brutish Behaviour (Racial)
    Requirements: Moloque Brute, 1st level character, Rage class feature
    Benefits: You gain an additional +1 Natural Armour and +2 to Fortitude and Will saves whilst raging.
    Special: You may only take this feat at 1st level. You gain +1 Spine/day for your Spines ability.

    Big Brute (Racial)
    Requirements: Brutish Behaviour, DR 1/-, Base Fortitude save +5
    Benefits: Whilst raging your DR increases by +1 and you gain the Powerful Build quality (if you already have or later gain Powerful Build from another source, you gain a +4 bonus to Strength instead).
    Special: You gain +1 Spine/day for your Spines ability.

    Hunter's Trick (Racial)
    Requirements: Moloque Hunter, 1st level character, Sneak Attack class feature
    Benefits: The first time you attack any opponent with your Spines attack, that opponent must succeed a reflex save with a +4 bonus (DC = your attack roll result) or be considered flat-footed for the attack. Regardless of the result, you cannot use this ability on the same target more than once in any 24 hour period. This ability only works on creatures with a discernible anatomy.
    Special: You may only take this feat at 1st level. You gain +1 Spine/day for your Spines ability.

    Sadistic Hunter (Racial)
    Requirements: Hunter's Trick, Sneak Attack +4D6, Base Reflex save +5
    Benefits: Whenever an enemy fails their save from your Hunter's Trick ability, they receive a -4 penalty to attack and damage rolls in melee against you for the remainder of the encounter as you use the injury inflicted to your advantage. If you remain in melee with such a target, any ally who also attacks that enemy in melee gains flanking bonuses as if they were behind the creature, regardless of their actual position.
    Special: You gain +1 Spine/day for your Spines ability.

    Mystic Aura (Racial)
    Requirements: Moloque Mystic, 1st level character, ability to spontaneously cast 1st level divine spells
    Benefits: You may cleanse or sully the water around you in a 10ft radius at will as a move action. When cleansed, the water becomes clear and pure as if affected by the Purify Food and Drink spell. When sullied the water becomes foul and murky, making it unsafe to drink (possibility of mundane water-born disease at DM discretion) and imposing a -4 penalty to spot checks per 5ft of sullied water. This is an instantaneous Supernatural effect and may only be used once per round.
    In addition, your Charisma score counts as being 2 higher for the purposes of calculating bonus spells for Favoured Soul levels.
    Special: You may only take this feat at 1st level. You gain +1 Spine/day for your Spines ability.

    Enlightened Mystic (Racial)
    Requirements: Mystic Aura, able to spontaneously cast 3rd level divine spells, Base Will save +5
    Benefits: Your Mystic Aura now requires a free action to activate, and may be suffused with positive OR negative energy a number of times per day equal to 1 + Wisdom modifier (minimum 1) and lasts 1 round/2 caster levels. You may benefit or exempt yourself from the effects of this ability as you desire, it has one of 2 effects as follows (chosen when used):
    Cleansed water: May be suffused with positive energy healing living creatures and harming undead by 3HP/round.
    Sullied water: May be suffused with negative energy harming living creatures and healing undead by 3HP/round.
    Additionally, your Charisma score now counts as being 4 higher for the purposes of calculating bonus spells for Favoured Soul levels (this bonus replaces the one granted by Mystic Aura).
    Special: You gain +1 Spine/day for your Spines ability.

    Spine Focus (Racial, Fighter Bonus)
    Requirements: Moloque Spines racial ability, Base Attack Bonus +1
    Benefits: Gain a +1 to hit and damage with your Spines ability.
    Special: You gain +1 Spine/day for your Spines ability.

    Rapid Spines (Racial, Fighter Bonus)
    Requirements: Spine Focus, Base Attack Bonus +5
    Benefits: You may chose to fire 2 spines in a round instead of one, if you do, both attacks get a -2 penalty, are fired simultaneously, and both must target the same thing. If you have any precision damage or poison, only the first hit may benefit for these purposes.
    Special: You gain +1 Spine/day for your Spines ability.

    Barbed Spines (Racial, Fighter Bonus)
    Requirements: Spine Focus, Base Attack Bonus +5
    Benefits: Spines which hit their target stick in place and cannot be safely removed, even by healing magic, without a succesful Heal check (DC = 10 + 1/2 your character level + Con modifier). If this check fails or is not attempted, removing the spine deals 1D6 damage and causes 1 point of bleeding damage per round.
    Special: You gain +1 Spine/day for your Spines ability.

    Penetrating Spines (Racial, Fighter Bonus)
    Requirements: Spine Focus, at least two other Moloque Racial feats, Base Attack +9
    Benefits: The damage of your Spines ability now counts as magic for the purposes of overcoming DR.
    Special: You gain +2 Spines/day for your Spines ability.



    Racial Substitution Levels

    Moloque Barbarian
    When a Moloque enters a rage, instinct takes over almost completely. Whereas they can and do use weapons in this state, the primary reaction in many situations is to grab their foe and drag them into the water, capitalising on their amphibious abilities.
    Spoiler
    Show

    Requires:
    Moloque about to take their first, third or sixth level in barbarian.

    Hit Dice: D10

    {table=head]LEVEL|BAB|FORT|REF|WILL|SPECIAL
    1st|
    +1
    |
    +2
    |
    +0
    |
    +0
    |Improved Grapple, illiteracy, Rage 1/day|
    3rd|
    +3
    |
    +3
    |
    +1
    |
    +1
    |Arms Full of Spines|
    6th|
    +6/+1
    |
    +5
    |
    +2
    |
    +2
    |Coming With Me (5ft)|
    [/table]

    Improved Grapple:
    You gain the Improved Grapple feat as a bonus feat, even if you do not meet the prerequisites. This replaces the standard barbarian's Fast Movement ability.

    Arms Full of Spines:
    You may use your spines as a light melee weapon in a grapple, dealing damage as normal for your Spines ability (doing so does not reduce your number of Spines/day since you do not fire them). This replaces the standard barbarian's Trapsense +1 ability.

    Coming With Me:
    Whenever you successfully grapple an opponent, instead of moving into the grappled creature's space to maintain the grapple, you may elect instead to drag them where you wish within 5ft of their current location and end your movement grappling in that space with them. At level 9 this distance becomes 10ft, and every 3 levels thereafter this distance increases by 5ft (15ft at 12th level, etc). This movement may not be used to exceed your normal speed in a round. This ability replaces all other instances of the standard barbarian's Trapsense ability.


    Moloque Favoured Soul
    All Moloques follow Asha'loque, but some are chosen to follow her path more closely than others.
    Spoiler
    Show

    Requires:
    Moloque about to take their first, third or sixth level in favoured soul.

    Class skills:
    Add Hide and Move Silently to your favoured soul skill list.

    {table=head]LEVEL|BAB|FORT|REF|WILL|SPECIAL|SPELLCASTING
    1st|
    +0
    |
    +2
    |
    +2
    |
    +2
    |Tricky|See text|
    3rd|
    +2
    |
    +3
    |
    +3
    |
    +3
    |Spine Focus|See text|
    6th|
    +4
    |
    +5
    |
    +5
    |
    +5
    |Caress of Asha'loque|See text|
    [/table]

    Spellcasting:
    You gain 1 less spell known per spell level (excluding 0th level) from 1st level onwards.
    From 6th level onwards you have 1 less spell per day of your highest level spell slot. When you attain a new level of spells, this penalty moves to that level slot.

    Tricky:
    Add the Trickery domain's spells to your spells known list at the levels listed in the domain.

    Spine Focus:
    You gain the Spine Focus feat at 3rd level. This replaces a standard favoured soul's Deity's Weapon Focus ability.

    Caress of Asha'loque:
    You gain the Death Domain's granted power except it uses your favoured soul level instead of cleric level to calculate damage dice. At level 12 this is usable 2/day, at level 18 this is usable 3/day. This ability replaces Deity's Weapon Specialisation at level 12.


    Moloque Rogue
    Moloques remain generally unconcerned with traps, and whilst they are capable of spotting and identifying them, they couldn't much care less about disabling, bypassing or sabotaging anything. Simply put, it's a waste of their time. They feel similar apathy for the diplomatic approach and for conversation in general, talking is for cowards. Instead they prefer to focus on ambush tactics, engaging on their own terms.
    Spoiler
    Show

    Requires:
    Moloque about to take their first, third or sixth level in rogue.

    {table=head]LEVEL|BAB|FORT|REF|WILL|SPECIAL
    1st|
    +0
    |
    +0
    |
    +2
    |
    +0
    |Sneak Attack +1D6, Direct Approach, Limited Trapfinding|
    3rd|
    +2
    |
    +1
    |
    +3
    |
    +1
    |Sneack Attack +2D6, Echosense|
    6th|
    +4
    |
    +2
    |
    +5
    |
    +2
    |Improved Echosense|
    [/table]

    Direct Approach:
    Whenever you make an attack in a surprise round, you gain a +2 bonus to the attack roll and a +2 dodge bonus to AC until your next turn. Permanently remove Diplomacy from the Rogue's skill list for this level and all future levels.

    Limited Trapfinding:
    Functions as normal trapfinding for search checks, but does not allow the use of disable device in any way. Permanently remove Disable Device from the Rogue's skill list for this level and all future levels.

    Echosense:
    Whilst you are in water you can sense objects and creatures nearby. This functions exactly like Blindsense except as noted here; Echosense only works when you are submerged in water, and only detects other things in the same body of water as you. Any effect which suppresses sound (like a Silence spell) similarly suppresses the use of this ability in the affected area. Echosense has a range equal to 5ft/3 Rogue levels you possess. This ability replaces Trapsense

    Improved Echosense:
    Your Echosense works on land (including detecting other things on land), albeit at half range.

    Last edited by Veklim; 2013-07-10 at 10:02 AM. Reason: Updates and additions
    All I ask is a tall ship, and a star to steer her by.

    My homebrews Moloques! Sagacious Defender of the Forge, The Open Palm, Sacred Scourge, The Bastion
    Co-Developer of the Mutant Powers Project:
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    Telekineticist and ACFs, Feats, Shadow Hand PrC

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Sep 2009

    Default Re: Meet my amphibious 'friends' (3.5 Race, PEACH)

    Having "physical" racial abilities which improve with level is extremely rare (I can't think of a single official example), you sure you want to do that?

  3. - Top - End - #3
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    LOTRfan's Avatar

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    Default Re: Meet my amphibious 'friends' (3.5 Race, PEACH)

    Eh, I see nothing wrong with it. Though perhaps I would go with 1 for every two character levels (minimum 1 at 1st level).
    Extended Homebrew Signature

    Let's Read the Monster Manual II!

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  4. - Top - End - #4
    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Default Re: Meet my amphibious 'friends' (3.5 Race, PEACH)

    Quote Originally Posted by Yitzi View Post
    Having "physical" racial abilities which improve with level is extremely rare (I can't think of a single official example), you sure you want to do that?
    I'm sure, yes. A large part of the trouble with many +1 LA races is the lack of proper justification for the LA, it makes sense for a few levels, then the advantages become a bit lack-lustre and usually by level 10 you regret the loss of level. Instead of running some shenanigans to try and counter that, I decided to give them a scaling attack ability which sets them apart from other races, giving you a tangible and unique ability for the sake of your lost level.
    I've run these guys as an NPC race for 2 campaigns, and yes they're nasty, but they're not over the top, merely different.

    Quote Originally Posted by LOTRfan View Post
    Eh, I see nothing wrong with it. Though perhaps I would go with 1 for every two character levels (minimum 1 at 1st level).
    I might drop back the number of Spines / day, but honestly I don't think it's that bad just now. The damage isn't huge on them, but it does scale with level a bit (nothing in comparison to a good combat build's damage scale) and they get quite a few to play with, meaning you won't end up trying to save them for the 'big fight' of the day because you're unlikely to run out very fast. I could make it Con mod + 1/2 character level if you really think they have too many though...

    Once my artist friend has finished the latest pictures I'll put one up and write out the fluff for these guys. In the meantime, do they look balanced?
    All I ask is a tall ship, and a star to steer her by.

    My homebrews Moloques! Sagacious Defender of the Forge, The Open Palm, Sacred Scourge, The Bastion
    Co-Developer of the Mutant Powers Project:
    World Warper
    Telekineticist and ACFs, Feats, Shadow Hand PrC

  5. - Top - End - #5
    Bugbear in the Playground
    Join Date
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    Default Re: Meet my amphibious 'friends' (3.5 Race, PEACH)

    Still waiting on the picture, and fluff is being written as I type (well kinda, still no joy with making myself Arms of the Girallion so still only have 2 hands ), but the number of Spines has been modified/reduced from (character level + con) down to (3 + con). Racial feats have been modified to grant additional Spines/day so any focus you put into the ability from feat investment advances uses, but a Moloque without a slew of racial feats has relatively few per day.

    3 new feats made to advance the Clutch Fate feats already shown, and to serve as an entry requirement for my 3 upcoming 5 level prestiges. Racial substitution levels will arrive shortly for the 3 favoured class possibilities, along with an entry for Asha'loque, the Moloque's 'Mother Swamp' goddess.
    All I ask is a tall ship, and a star to steer her by.

    My homebrews Moloques! Sagacious Defender of the Forge, The Open Palm, Sacred Scourge, The Bastion
    Co-Developer of the Mutant Powers Project:
    World Warper
    Telekineticist and ACFs, Feats, Shadow Hand PrC

  6. - Top - End - #6
    Troll in the Playground
     
    PirateGirl

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    Default Re: Meet my amphibious 'friends' (3.5 Race, PEACH)

    You've given them both a swim speed equal to their land speed AND a racial bonus to Swim which effectively gives them +16 to their swim checks (just having a swim speed gives a +8 racial bonus to swim checks). Is that what you mean to do?

    Debby
    P.E.A.C.H. Please Evaluate And Critique Honestly. Being nicer and kinder doesn't hurt either. Note I generally only critique 3.5 and Pathfinder material.
    Please, please, please when using non-core material, cite to the books. There are too many books to wade through to find the one with the feat, special ability or spell you use.
    my creations in homebrew signature thread

  7. - Top - End - #7
    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Default Re: Meet my amphibious 'friends' (3.5 Race, PEACH)

    Quote Originally Posted by Debihuman View Post
    You've given them both a swim speed equal to their land speed AND a racial bonus to Swim which effectively gives them +16 to their swim checks (just having a swim speed gives a +8 racial bonus to swim checks). Is that what you mean to do?

    Debby
    Ahh, good catch! That was not my intention, no...they originally had the bonus, then I decided mid-post it should be a swim speed and I never removed the skill bonus, thanks for spotting that.
    All I ask is a tall ship, and a star to steer her by.

    My homebrews Moloques! Sagacious Defender of the Forge, The Open Palm, Sacred Scourge, The Bastion
    Co-Developer of the Mutant Powers Project:
    World Warper
    Telekineticist and ACFs, Feats, Shadow Hand PrC

  8. - Top - End - #8
    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Default Re: Meet my amphibious 'friends' (3.5 Race, PEACH)

    Racial substitutions up...fluff and PrCs next!
    All I ask is a tall ship, and a star to steer her by.

    My homebrews Moloques! Sagacious Defender of the Forge, The Open Palm, Sacred Scourge, The Bastion
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  9. - Top - End - #9
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    PirateGirl

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    Default Re: Meet my amphibious 'friends' (3.5 Race, PEACH)

    What creature type are these?

    Because spines are natural weapons, they should only do double damage on a critical hit See natural weapons. Natural weapons critical on a 20 and do double damage. To increase that would require either a feat or a special ability. Furthermore, an attack is always a standard action. To make it a swift action would be unfair. Furthermore, maximum range should be noted. The amount of damage is based on a creature's Strength modifier not on its HD.

    How long does this race live if they reach breeding age by age 7? At what age are they Middle Age, Old Age, Venerable and what is their maximum age?

    Since there is no facing in 3.5, you probably should consider rephrasing spines and they should be an extraordinary ability.

    For example:

    Spines (Ex): Moloques have a number of forearm spines equal to their Constitution modifier +3 (minimum 1). Molques may shoot one of their spines once per round as a standard action with a 10-foot range increment (maximum range 50 feet). Under water, the spines have a 10-foot maximum range. Each spine deals 1d6 points of damage (plus any strength modifiers the moloque may have). It takes 24 hours to regrow each spine and requires at least 8 hours rest. Many moloques use water-proof poisons to tip their spines before entering battle, making them dangerous foes for the foolhardy.

    Debby
    P.E.A.C.H. Please Evaluate And Critique Honestly. Being nicer and kinder doesn't hurt either. Note I generally only critique 3.5 and Pathfinder material.
    Please, please, please when using non-core material, cite to the books. There are too many books to wade through to find the one with the feat, special ability or spell you use.
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    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Meet my amphibious 'friends' (3.5 Race, PEACH)

    Quote Originally Posted by Debihuman View Post
    What creature type are these?

    Because spines are natural weapons, they should only do double damage on a critical hit See natural weapons. Natural weapons critical on a 20 and do double damage. To increase that would require either a feat or a special ability.
    Or just an unusual natural weapon. It's certainly no more problematic than the scaling spines.

    Furthermore, an attack is always a standard action. To make it a swift action would be unfair.
    Yeah; while it being an exception to the way things usually are isn't that big a deal (other monsters do have things like quicken spell-like ability), the effect on balance is problematic.

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    Troll in the Playground
     
    PirateGirl

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    Default Re: Meet my amphibious 'friends' (3.5 Race, PEACH)

    Well, this is meant as Player Character race so fairness means a bit more. If you want to go insane over monsters then do so (all it does is beef up the CR). But playing favorites with players is bound to cause a lot of hurt feelings.

    Edit:
    If you look here: attacks are always either standard actions or full actions but never swift actions. http://www.d20srd.org/srd/combat/act...m#swiftActions

    Let me clarify. At first level everyone gets one attack, except now the Moloque player also gets a second attack as a swift action with a natural weapon and at higher levels that gives him an extra attack every turn, until he runs out of spines. That's in addition to all other attacks he could possibly make. Since it isn't a standard attack, this makes it a lot harder to adjudicate.

    Normally, natural weapons are primary attacks but when used with manufactured weapons, they become secondary attacks. As the natural weapon is now a swift attack (it's not a normal secondary attack any more) is it subject to the normal -5 penalty to hit as a secondary weapon?
    If not, that's effectively giving the PC Multiattack and Improved Multiattack (feats which he doesn't even qualify for in the first place) for free.

    When used as a primary attack, what effect does the swift action have with an initiative round? Some people would claim that the swift action would always be able to go first. That's bound to peeve the other players. Nobody likes a spotlight hog.

    I generally don't like breaking the rules for no good reason. In this case, breaking the rules puts all other PC races at a distinct disadvantage and that's not good for the game (or for any friendships).

    Debby
    Last edited by Debihuman; 2013-07-05 at 06:07 AM.
    P.E.A.C.H. Please Evaluate And Critique Honestly. Being nicer and kinder doesn't hurt either. Note I generally only critique 3.5 and Pathfinder material.
    Please, please, please when using non-core material, cite to the books. There are too many books to wade through to find the one with the feat, special ability or spell you use.
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  12. - Top - End - #12
    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Default Re: Meet my amphibious 'friends' (3.5 Race, PEACH)

    Heya, thanks for the comments so far, this is still in construction, I'm trying to reverse engineer AND balance a monster entry I created about a decade ago, so it's taking me no small amount of time and effort...let me elaborate a moment on the spines:

    They are designed to function as a secondary natural weapon, I will put this into the entry once I'm completely satisfied with how it works, but there may (I'll look seriously at balance) be a caveat mentioning it requires a free hand to use (on account of musculature, etc) meaning the spines give a limited-resource 2WF with a scaling damage which keeps them relevant, nothing more. The 'rear-facing' part is merely descriptive, it will become obvious once my artist finishes the pictures (he's at a medieval fair in Tewkesbury atm so this may take a little while!).
    The Spine's damage isn't that much, and the better critical plus a range balances out the relatively few spines you get, you'll have a lot less to play with than just using a 2nd weapon in your off-hand, and whereas you DO get more with racial feats, that is restricting your feat choice tremendously if you so choose to focus on the spines that much.

    Regarding swift actions in surprise rounds, Moloques are BORN ambushers, why SHOULDN'T a race like that go early in surprise rounds?

    As far as the rest of the fluff is concerned, I'm getting through it slowly, I dislike posting piecemeal sections. I prefer to post a chunk and review it once it's up...personal preference I guess...

    I'll take out some time later to go through each comment, make updates and post thoughts, thanks again for the input so far :D
    All I ask is a tall ship, and a star to steer her by.

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  13. - Top - End - #13
    Troll in the Playground
     
    PirateGirl

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    Default Re: Meet my amphibious 'friends' (3.5 Race, PEACH)

    They are designed to function as a secondary natural weapon, I will put this into the entry once I'm completely satisfied with how it works, but there may (I'll look seriously at balance) be a caveat mentioning it requires a free hand to use (on account of musculature, etc) meaning the spines give a limited-resource 2WF with a scaling damage which keeps them relevant, nothing more.
    The rules for secondary weapons conflict with swift actions. You can't use the Two Weapon Fighting feat with natural weapons. You have to use the Multiweapon Feat and it requires a minimum of 3 hand so this creature doesn't qualify for it.

    The 'rear-facing' part is merely descriptive, it will become obvious once my artist finishes the pictures (he's at a medieval fair in Tewkesbury atm so this may take a little while!).
    If your arm spines are facing you, you could have an attacker grab your arm and use your spines against you.

    The Spine's damage isn't that much, and the better critical plus a range balances out the relatively few spines you get.
    That's not how natural weapons work. If you want to give the spines a x3 critical, give them the appropriate special ability that allows this.

    You'll have a lot less to play with than just using a 2nd weapon in your off-hand, and whereas you DO get more with racial feats, that is restricting your feat choice tremendously if you so choose to focus on the spines that much.
    Technically, the creature can use two weapons and the spines as a full round action, making him a lot more powerful than other PC races. There are rules on how to use natural weapons with manufactured weapons. There is no reason why this creature couldn't use his hands to hold weapons and throw spines in the same round.

    Regarding swift actions in surprise rounds, Moloques are BORN ambushers, why SHOULDN'T a race like that go early in surprise rounds?
    That's not the problem. Giving them a bonus to act in a surprise round is one thing; making it a guaranteed action isn't the same. How is this fair to someone playing a rogue? Race shouldn't trump class. If you always have the same player gaining the surprise first, it's going to eventually upset the rest of the players. It's showing favoritism. Allowing one player to ALWAYS get the surprise attack isn't fair to the other players. You want to mess over your friends, be my guest but that's exactly what you are doing.

    Debby
    Last edited by Debihuman; 2013-07-05 at 03:55 PM.
    P.E.A.C.H. Please Evaluate And Critique Honestly. Being nicer and kinder doesn't hurt either. Note I generally only critique 3.5 and Pathfinder material.
    Please, please, please when using non-core material, cite to the books. There are too many books to wade through to find the one with the feat, special ability or spell you use.
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  14. - Top - End - #14
    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Default Re: Meet my amphibious 'friends' (3.5 Race, PEACH)

    Well, besides your (slightly) combative approach towards critique Debi, I've thought carefully about your comments on the Spines and decided to make them a natural weapon with all that entails, except where noted in the entry, they still count as thrown weapons for some purposes and the x3 critical remains. With regards to the critical, I'd draw your attention to this in the SRD....

    Unless otherwise noted, a natural weapon threatens a critical hit on a natural attack roll of 20, and deal double damage on critical hits.
    Consider it thus noted.

    Now, a Moloque can use it at full bonus as a primary attack, or at -5 as a secondary if they also wield a manufactured weapon in the round, and whereas this wasn't the original intention I have struggled and failed several times to translate the idea into coherent mechanics without it becoming INSANELY wordy, so this shall have to suffice.

    I realise that some of this is new, not standard in any way, but that's the whole idea of brewing, making something which DIDN'T exist before. If everything people write down in here conformed to what already existed then innovation would be pretty much non-existent.

    Quote Originally Posted by Debihuman View Post
    If your arm spines are facing you, you could have an attacker grab your arm and use your spines against you.
    Since this description seems to cause confusion I have taken it out until the picture arrives, I'm sure it will all seem clearer then...but no, an attacker could NOT do so unless they succeeded with a grapple check, and even then it would be an improvised weapon and follow such rules. They wouldn't be able to force you to fire one, since even when someone has hold of the arm, they do not control the internal musculature which fires the spines, they are merely holding your arm. As such, it would count as using a grappled foe's weapon against them, except they would not be able to disarm the Moloque in the process.

    The reason their spines face up the forearm is simple, when in the water, a Moloque tucks it's arms up against it's chest to swim, meaning the spines point behind and under them for defence in the water. Which way do porcupine quills point...? Evolution ftw!

    Ages, physiology, social structure, religion and backgrounds are all coming. These are the easy bits, I want to get the mechanics sorted first...I have only JUST realised I never put W.I.P. in the title...that may have helped somewhat, eh? Ahhhh well, mechanics are halfway ironed out now anyhow so I'll not bother, sorry for the misconceptions this may have caused!
    Last edited by Veklim; 2013-07-06 at 04:36 PM.
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  15. - Top - End - #15
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    Default Re: Meet my amphibious 'friends' (3.5 Race, PEACH)

    WOMBAT’S REVIEW OF: MOLOQUES - PART ONE!

    I’ll be doing some review of grammar, though since I’m across the pond from you, some of my corrections may be moot. I’ll try and steer clear of obvious examples, such as times when your “s” would be a “z” for me.

    I’ll also give you feed back on stuff as I go. For the record, just because I making corrections to things doesn’t mean I don’t like the homebrew. It’s generally quite the opposite! I don’t critique stuff I don’t like.

    Quote Originally Posted by Veklim View Post
    Fast and fluid movements just under the water's surface are often the first and last sight of a Moloque in a persons life (which is usually about to be cut rather short). These amphibious reptiles seem to have come straight out of the paleolithic, evolving in a remote swampland and delta virtually untouched by the outside world until relatively recently.
    Not so much evil as primeval, they employ fierce and sudden ambush tactics on their prey, unfortunately most Moloques have not yet learned to differentiate between sentient being and prey. The few who interact socially (or at least attempt to) refer to themselves as being 'Out of the Swamp'. It is these who are best suited to player characters.
    See bolded sections – person’s. Generally, Paleolithic is a capitalized term. Second paragraph, the first sentence ends at prey, but you’ve put a comma and continued the thought, when they’d be better as two sentences. Do the out of the swamp people tend to be spurned in any way by the rest of the race? Is leaving the swamp and being social regarded as queer for a moloque? How do you pronounce the name, Moloque? As in – Mul-lock? Mol – low – ck? Are you set on the term “out of the swamp” or is that a working name? I personally just thought of “fen flown” and thought it had a nice ring to it. What causes a Moloque to want leave the swamp?

    Either way, I’m looking forward to seeing these guys in action below. They sound fierce.

    Quote Originally Posted by Veklim View Post
    Personality:
    Spoiler
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    On the surface most Moloques appear pretty much the same, cold, vicous and brutal. However, behind the instinct bred into them lies distinct and often quirky characters, each with an unsual outlook on the world. To a Moloque, life is something to both immerse yourself in and fight against. How else are you to survive and prove your worth? How else does one honour Mother Swamp for the gifts she gave you?
    Any Moloque who is out of the swamp has learned to control their urges in a more civilised manner, and therefore do not tend to attempt to decapitate people to get their point across with anything like the frequency a 'wild' one might. Make no mistake, some are actually pleasant enough company, and they are not all bad by a long shot, but the instinct to dominate the environment will always be strong.
    Spoiler
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    Spelling error –vicous is “vicious”. Bolded sentence is a little awkward. Try something like- Within, however, a Moloque has a distinctive and often quirky side, which causes them to have an unusual outlook.

    Overall, however, I don’t think you need the sentence the way you have it. It strikes me as odd to describe them as distinct and quirky, when any non human would likely be considered to be as such. Perhaps using different descriptors might serve a bit better, especially when saying that a whole is unique. Usually distinct/quirky are more toward an individual that doesn’t fit the mold – “That Moloque is acting quirky”. What are you actually trying to say about them? That they act strangely? How so? Why is it strange? That they are curious? Perhaps something like, the psyche of a Moloque is often compared to a switch – one moment they wear the mask of a cold, vicious, and brutal creature, full of instinct bred survival tactics. The next moment they are creatures of insatiable curiosity, always investigating the unfamiliar. It is this later mindset that is often responsible for a Moloque to leave the swamps.

    In the long sentence of the second paragraph, anything like are filler words, and unneeded. Even without, that sentence is quite long.


    Quote Originally Posted by Veklim View Post
    Physical Description:
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    A Moloque could, at a distance and in poor light, be mistaken for a lizardfolk, but any closer inspection would notice they are shorter, with a bulkier tail and dotted with spiny protrusions on their arms, legs and shoulders, with a noticeable ridge of spines from a headcrest all the way down their back and tail. Adults sport a particularly over-developed area of spines on their forearms which point up the arm. These can be fired as a weapon, much like a porcupine's quills, but much larger and more damaging. They stoop somewhat when standing, gaining at least a foot in height when they rear up, and move in a mercurial and overly-jointed sort of way which is at complete juxtaposition to their seemingly muscular frame.
    On land, they are impressive, but in the water they show a grace which is lost somewhat on land. Moloques are excellent swimmers, tucking their arms up against their chest and splaying out their legs, they make an auqadynamic figure which is both fast and maneouverable. A small sail-like fin runs the length of their back spines and tail, normally retracted on land but reflexively taut when in the water.
    Females tend to be larger than males, and are seldom seen, appearing rather reclusive on the whole, but far more ferocious if threatened. Moloques have no known maximum age, and grow continuously throughout their lives, gaining a little height and weight every year. If one ever lives long enough it increases one size category/20HD it posseses. The vast majority of Moloques do not even get to middle age though, competition is deadly when it comes to mating and Moloques tend to meet trouble head-on in most cases, putting them at severe risk of an unpleasant end at the same time as giving them a fiersome reputation as foes. Rare examples of huge Moloques can be found in history and all appear to have been female.
    Spoiler
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    For at a distance and poor light, how about instead – “in times of poor visibility”? Also, might want to end that sentence at – “…mistaken for a lizardfolk.” And then start a new sentence with the closer inspection, “Upon closer inspection…”

    I like these spines. Are they developed from sensory organs? As in, like barbles, where in tight passages they sense the walls with the spines? I have a water type dragon with similar things, though they don’t “shoot” like yours do. The description says the spines can be fired…do you mean like, a range? What propels the spine out? You reference that they can be fired like a porcupine does, but porcupines cannot use their spines as projectiles. Do the spines grow back quickly? Can they be used in melee? Do the spines break away during melee? Are the spines tough to aim, since they are pointed up the arm?

    I’ve bolded “rear up” because I’m not sure what you mean. Do you mean straighten from a stooped position? Rear up generally means standing on two feet, like a horse or lion. Perhaps when they stoop, they hang their arms? Perhaps using hunch forward instead of stoop might serve better? When they straighten, your description is a little hard to understand…do you mean it’s a fluid motion, like a snake, despite their muscular frame? (mention their muscular frame earlier in the description as well, since you refer to it in passing here).

    Spelling correction – Aquadynamic. Not sure if that’s the proper term, but it works! How do they tuck their arms up to their chest? Don’t the quills then go against the aquadynamic thing? Spelling – maneuverable. Focus the sentence about the fins to put forward first that when in the water, they come out, and then describe them, to better organize the sentence.

    The female description could probably be placed in an earlier paragraph, leaving the age paragraph to be centered on age. The female part just seemed out of place. Perhaps at the end of the first paragraph? What do the Moloques eat? It seems if they grow bigger and bigger as they age, they’d need more and more food to sustain them. This fact makes me think of the Zoras from The Legend of Zelda. The older they are, the bigger they get. (lord jabu jabu for example).

    Spelling correction – Fearsome, not fearsome. It makes sense that the females live longer since they are more apt to hiding.


    Quote Originally Posted by Veklim View Post
    Relations:
    Spoiler
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    Until recent years Moloques were widely regarded as highly dangerous pests with a humanoid appearance but animal intelligence. They would [b]ocassionally[ raid farming areas on the new frontiers and have been known to nest and thrive in the sewer networks of larger cities. There have been frequent 'purges' of these creatures since they first emerged in the civilised world, and have been erroneously declared extinct by various different groups on five separate [b]occassions[b/].
    They don't play well with others, but those who are out of the swamp have shown they have a language, culture and history of their own which alarmingly pre-dates most other race's. As such, they have started to be taken seriously by some of the more accepting races (largely humans and the Moloque's Lizardfolk 'cousins'), but still produce wrath and venom from most races who have ever had to deal with them in the past. Almost universally reviled, but on the cusp of gaining a place in the larger world, Moloques are an ancient and yet recently emergent race.
    Spoiler
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    Spelling correction – ocassionally is “occasionally”. Also, “various different groups” is a repetitive statement. Occassions is “occasions”. Race’s is actually “races” with how you use it.

    How do the Moloques feel about other races? Do they want to be emergent? Why? Are the lizardfolk actually cousins? Related in anyway?

    Will you put in a description on the relations within the race as well?


    Quote Originally Posted by Veklim View Post
    Alignment:
    Spoiler
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    Moloques are almost exclusively chaotic by nature and virtually never lawful. The only law is that of the swamp, and they survive by being above that law. Many Moloques are evil, but most of them tend towards neutrality on this axis, and good ones are getting more and more common amongst those out of the swamp. However, with life amongst their own culture and people, almost all Moloques revert to chaotic neutral, where survival (both for the individual and the race as a whole) is the only thing which matters.
    Interesting. I like it!

    Quote Originally Posted by Veklim View Post
    Moloque Lands:
    Spoiler
    Show
    The large swampland and river delta from which the Moloques originate is still firmly held by them, no ohter species is as well equipped to deal with the treacherous and diverse ecology of the region. However, in the last century or two, out of the swamp Moloques have broken away from their homelands somewhat, and small communities (30-100) have sprung up in remote areas of marshland, swmaps and the like, but perhaps more worryingly they have also appeared in great numbers populating sewer systems of large cities. They are rather territorial by nature, although bit by bit, the city dwelling ones have opened up to other species in an attempt to co-exist with other races.
    Spelling correction – ohter to “other”. Also, swmaps to “swamps”. I forgot to mention this in relations, but I declare a resounding EWWW! for the Moloques living in the sewers. Ick.


    Quote Originally Posted by Veklim View Post
    Religion:
    Spoiler
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    Almost all Moloques revere Asha'loque (see sub-spoiler below), who was supposedly the first sentient Moloque, and therefore the mother of the entire race. All Moloques are taught this from birth, and it is so ingrained within them that no other deity from distant lands or peoples can seem to hold any sway with them. In the last few decades there have been reports of out of the swamp Moloque shrines paying small acceptance to other gods, all of which have either the Water or Trickery domains (or both), but this is a reasonably new development and considered as heresy back in the swamp.

    Spoiler
    Show

    Asha'loque (Intermediate deity, Rank 15)
    Asha'loque is Chaotic Neutral, a hard and unforgiving mother for her children, showing little maternal empathy for the individual, but as a species she is utterly devoted to the Moloque race. Moloque histories tell us she was over 1000 years old when she ascended, back in the ancient past, whereupon she merged with the swamp to watch over her children, and remains there to this day. She teaches her children to endure harsh environments and to use every advantage and trick in their arsenal with ruthless efficiency. She watches over not only her children, but their home as well, ensuring the cycle of life and death in the swamp is maintained, whilst also ensuring her children's place at the top of it's food chain. Asha'loque cares little for any other race, she has watched many of them arrive over the millennia but considers them to be mostly out of place and flawed, unable to fit themselves into their own world properly.

    She favours her Spines as her weapon of choice (on the minuscule off-chance you have a non-Moloque follower of Asha'loque, any natural weapon will suffice), and grants access to the Death, Life, Water and Trickery domains.
    A revered member of their race, similar to Corellion, which is cool. Why would an Moloque worship any other God? I guess it might have something to do with the reason they left the swamp? I almost want to entertain the idea that some Moloques leave the swamp to claim other lands for them, perhaps attempting to convert other kinds of land into swamps. Could be a cool flavor for priests of Asha’loque. The ability to make swamplands by making the area “sacred” and “blessed”.

    Quote Originally Posted by Veklim View Post
    Language:
    Spoiler
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    Moloques speak a language they call Mok'mok (literally meaning 'important noise') which is linguistically similar in many ways to Aquan, and likely developed from it. It's written form has nothing in common with ANY other known language however, apparently having been independently invented by Moloques a long time ago. Moloques raised outside of the swamp homeland speak common as well.
    Bolded area is supposed to be “Its” I believe. Otherwise, I like it!
    Last edited by TheWombatOfDoom; 2013-08-05 at 01:21 PM.
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  16. - Top - End - #16
    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Default Re: Meet my amphibious 'friends' (3.5 Race, PEACH)

    Wow...feedback! Yay!

    On my phone atm so mostly a quick 'cheers dude' for now, shall go over the stuff you've highlighted once I get home. Some of it IS correct (like the 'It's' in the language section referring to the language's written form) but some are good catches and nice suggestions to help it flow better. This is still a WIP to some extent, not updated for a little while now, but I've got 3 PrCs in the pipeline so they might start popping up soon!
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