Support the GITP forums on Patreon
Help support GITP's forums (and ongoing server maintenance) via Patreon
Results 1 to 11 of 11
  1. - Top - End - #1
    Bugbear in the Playground
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Here and there.
    Gender
    Female

    Default Stuff I've made while without internet

    Last edited by Cipher Stars; 2013-07-17 at 08:52 PM.

    My Homebrew

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Orc in the Playground
     
    OrcBarbarianGuy

    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Toronto, ON
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Stuff I've made while without internet

    I'm sorry, but the background to your documents (the first two at least) make the text very hard to read. I'm sure you will get more feedback if you make them more legible.

    I think that people are more likely to read something posted to this site rather than requiring a click. And also more likely to respond to one or two ideas presented at a time than a dozen or more dumped all at once.

    p.s. I'm glad your internet is back!
    Last edited by Cheiromancer; 2013-07-05 at 10:24 AM.

  3. - Top - End - #3
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Just to Browse's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2011

    Default Re: Stuff I've made while without internet

    Like Cheiro said, the only thing that's bullnuggets right now is that your text seems designed to fade into the background, and my eyes are already weak from staring at bright lights for several hours last night. Could you perhaps get those to black text with a white background?
    All work I do is CC-BY-SA. Copy it wherever you want as long as you credit me.

  4. - Top - End - #4
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    EdroGrimshell's Avatar

    Join Date
    Oct 2008

    Default Re: Stuff I've made while without internet

    Personal favorite is the Seraph, though I think it's paragon class is a little strong, only a little though.
    Quotes
    Spoiler
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by GFawkes View Post
    You didn't poke fate with a stick. You set fate on fire, then whacked it with a 2x4 several times.
    Quote Originally Posted by blackwind1kaze View Post
    good thing they did body attribute instead of Physical attribute, otherwise the stats would look like:

    P. hysical
    M. ind
    S. pirit

    XD

    Spoiler
    Show


    The Hub, for PTA & PTU community building. If you're interested, take a look.

  5. - Top - End - #5
    Bugbear in the Playground
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Here and there.
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Stuff I've made while without internet

    Quote Originally Posted by EdroGrimshell View Post
    Personal favorite is the Seraph, though I think it's paragon class is a little strong, only a little though.
    Sounds perfect. Normal paragon classes always seemed weeksauce. This one is also integral to the later 17-level classes.


    I don't know what to tell you about the backgrounds. The text is perfectly visible on my monitor at least, I adjusted brightness and contrast until it was such. It'd be a huge arse-pain to go back and redo them all.

    My Homebrew

  6. - Top - End - #6
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    BladeTempest's Avatar

    Join Date
    Apr 2011

    Default Re: Stuff I've made while without internet

    I would love to look at these as well but like certain individuals above I cannot read the text from the image. Perhaps you could change the color of the text to something contrasting or simply move the images to be independent pages from the text?
    LOOK AT ALL OF MY WEAPONS! LOOK AT THEM!

  7. - Top - End - #7
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Just to Browse's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2011

    Default Re: Stuff I've made while without internet

    Quote Originally Posted by Cipherthe3vil View Post
    I don't know what to tell you about the backgrounds. The text is perfectly visible on my monitor at least, I adjusted brightness and contrast until it was such. It'd be a huge arse-pain to go back and redo them all.
    I assume this is a word document. Can you copy/paste the text into the forum?
    All work I do is CC-BY-SA. Copy it wherever you want as long as you credit me.

  8. - Top - End - #8
    Troll in the Playground
     
    PirateGirl

    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Elemental Plane of Purple
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Stuff I've made while without internet

    I agree, the text is really hard to read.

    My suggestions in no particular order on Deadlock (the only one I've read so far)

    When you use a background, make it a paler watermark and make your text darker.

    Your tables are messed up because you didn't put in the hyphen marks to indicate blank cells so it merged cells together.

    "BaB" looks weird since it stands for Base Attack Bonus. It should be "BAB".

    I removed unnecessary text and fixed some other grammar issues (in particular single subject with plural object: a single deadlock is not a "their" it is is an "it" a "her" or a "him".

    Shadow Veil (Su): The Deathlock can, as a free action, cloak herself in shadow. This gives her a number of benefits as follows.

    • It gives those that attack her the miss chance indicated on the table.
    • This allows the Deathlock to surprise and flank creatures even if she would not normally be able to so long as she is of an equal or higher HD.
    • She makes no sound when she steps, does not trigger traps that rely on pressure plates, and never provokes Listen checks
    • Whenever she touches something so long as it fits within her carry capacity, that thing becomes shadow veiled as well and thus it never makes sound either.
    • To talk, the deathlock needs to exit her Shadow Veil otherwise, no sound is heard.
    • She gains a bonus to speed given on the table. The smaller number is a bonus to her speed and the larger number is how far the Deathlock can transport herself as though by a dimension door-like effect in which she disappears through any surface large enough to sustain herself and reappears elsewhere within the given range. This is a standard action and she cannot benefit from both the speed enhancement and the shadowy door in the same round.
    • The deathlock gains a bonus to any Balance, Jump or Climb checks made while in Shadow Veil equal to her Charisma modifier times her class levels.
    • When veiled the Deathlock gains a bonus to Hide checks when in dark areas and shadow equal to her Charisma modifier times the level of darkness she is in (Or simply plus her class levels including Paragon levels)


    By making a DC 20 Hide check, the Deathlock can become Incorporeal as part of a move action, until the move action is complete. By making a DC 40 Hide check, the Deathlock can become Ethereal as part of a move action, until the move action is complete. By remaining in the same spot for a full round action, the Deathlock can make the same Hide check to become Incorporeal or Ethereal, until she fails a check, which is made at the beginning of each turn she remains in the same spot or until she move again, whichever comes first.
    Also, why did this ability come first before the ones gained at first level? I can only assume you didn't edit this document before making a pdf of it.

    For emphasis, I bolded the sections I feel were problematic. Gaining a bonus of Cha x level is a bit much. Also, what do you mean by times the "darkness's level" as darkness doesn't have levels.

    Debby
    Last edited by Debihuman; 2013-07-05 at 03:25 PM.
    P.E.A.C.H. Please Evaluate And Critique Honestly. Being nicer and kinder doesn't hurt either. Note I generally only critique 3.5 and Pathfinder material.
    Please, please, please when using non-core material, cite to the books. There are too many books to wade through to find the one with the feat, special ability or spell you use.
    my creations in homebrew signature thread

  9. - Top - End - #9
    Bugbear in the Playground
    Join Date
    Jun 2012

    Default Re: Stuff I've made while without internet

    This looks wonderful...except I can't read any of this stuff because of the terrible backrounds. Please just post it in the forum or something, this is unbearable.

  10. - Top - End - #10
    Bugbear in the Playground
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Here and there.
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Stuff I've made while without internet

    Quote Originally Posted by Just to Browse View Post
    I assume this is a word document. Can you copy/paste the text into the forum?
    It sounds like a smart idea at first, except for the fact that the tables (And there be plenty of tables, some a bit complicated) would not copy.

    Quote Originally Posted by Debihuman View Post
    I agree, the text is really hard to read.

    My suggestions in no particular order on Deadlock (the only one I've read so far)

    When you use a background, make it a paler watermark and make your text darker.

    Your tables are messed up because you didn't put in the hyphen marks to indicate blank cells so it merged cells together.

    "BaB" looks weird since it stands for Base Attack Bonus. It should be "BAB".

    I removed unnecessary text and fixed some other grammar issues (in particular single subject with plural object: a single deadlock is not a "their" it is is an "it" a "her" or a "him".



    Also, why did this ability come first before the ones gained at first level? I can only assume you didn't edit this document before making a pdf of it.

    For emphasis, I bolded the sections I feel were problematic. Gaining a bonus of Cha x level is a bit much. Also, what do you mean by times the "darkness's level" as darkness doesn't have levels.

    Debby

    I wanted the backgrounds to be clearly visible and adjusted them until, to me, I just have weird monitor settings or something, there was a perfect balance between clarity of the text and visibility of the image.

    But like I said, apparently my monitor settings are weird or perhaps I'm colorblind on some level. Who knows.


    The cells aren't merged. There are simply no lines between them. Just empty space and the invisible lines of code keeping them separate. Unless for some reason you're seeing something I'm not when I look at the PDF, Scribd, or word document.


    Shadow veil is an integral part of the class and is also a first level ability. Is there a problem with it being displayed first? :/

    I recalled reading about stages of darkness and light levels, a scale of luminosity. Keep in mind without internet I had no access to verify anything. My own uncertainty can be seen when I said "Or simply plus her class levels including Paragon levels".





    http://www.scribd.com/doc/151982154/...iiavtbouktel2m

    http://www.scribd.com/doc/151982151/...gaq91awwce4tvj

    http://www.scribd.com/doc/151982149/...jl16zr4us1fmam

    http://www.scribd.com/doc/151982146/...w7xxrh8dlmjayd

    http://www.scribd.com/doc/151982143/...lz2a5fu8tqkcen

    http://www.scribd.com/doc/151982136/...i0nl4c651b728w



    The updated Living Alar, Seraph, and Wandering Devas are being stubborn little bishes and wont upload. Re-post them after they get their act together and upload the hell up. Irritating me to heck because all the above uploaded in seconds, as did the three but they were incorrectly saved and I had to go back to fix them again.



    http://www.scribd.com/doc/151982567/...abqcihtcl8z81z

    http://www.scribd.com/doc/151984501/...p3lytxzrhq7y3o

    Dang. Scribd hates the Seraph.



    http://www.scribd.com/doc/151984498/...a7to6bzh2ppz6r
    Last edited by Cipher Stars; 2013-07-05 at 07:13 PM.

    My Homebrew

  11. - Top - End - #11
    Bugbear in the Playground
    Join Date
    Jun 2012

    Default Re: Stuff I've made while without internet

    I have to say, "The Seraph", "Wandering Devas", and "Living Altar" are the only creations I even remotely like, and while I like the idea of these three I'm not sure about their balance. The Matryonic Devas, for instance, seem WAAAY more powerful and special-snowflakey than their traditional succubi counterparts, and I'm not sure why the Living Altars being 'the cuddle class' need all this fluff about being the leftovers of dead gods and ohmigosh they are so special you don't even know~.

    Mechanics aside, I'm not entirely sure it's wise for your entries to be so 'special'-oozing. It's really hard to argue against their Mary Sue potential with a prospective DM with their fluff.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •