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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Halfling in the Playground
     
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    Default [Gift] The Giver

    This is my first entry in a contest. Actually, this is my first homebrew ever, so I don't expect praise.

    "come kiddies. thog will tell you story now!"
    "Oh, this ought to be good..."
    "Quiet Xykon, I wanna hear the story!"

    His heavy black boots packed the snow beneath him in slow, deliberate strides. He was dressed in red, save his boots, his gloves, and his shiny gold belt buckle. He had a bag thrown over his back, held tightly by his glove wrapped hands, the color of coal. None could see his face, consumed by the deepest nether-stuff of The Abyss, except for two brightly glowing yellow eyes.

    Many believe The Giver to be a jolly man, who brings toys and other presents to the nice of the land, and gives the naughty coal. This however, is not the case. The Giver's heart is as black as the coal he supposedly hands out, and the only white he has on his body is the snow that clings to him like humanoids begging for their lives.

    Only the evilest of men would dare approach him, asking for a gift of power, wealth, or opportunity. If the one who made the request was truly dark, The Giver would aknowledge the request, and grant a small portion of what was asked. If the recepient dared ask for more, The Giver would consume him, and add his soul to the workers that make his magic items.


    "thog done now!"

    Everyone stared gaping at Thog.

    "Did he just use capitals?"
    "Aye lad, he did. Tis a grim day for us all, when we find tha' a Half-Orc be smarter than we."
    Last edited by CaelCyndar1993; 2006-12-10 at 06:13 PM.

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Halfling in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: [Gift] The Giver

    The Giver
    Large Outsider
    HD 9d8+54 (85 hp)
    Speed 30 ft. (6 squares)
    Init: +4
    AC 21; touch 13; flat-footed 17
    (-1 size, +4 Dex, +8 Natural)
    BAB +9; Grp +8
    Attack Sack +14
    (5d6 + 6, 18-20/x3 + 14)
    Full-Attack Sack +16
    (5d6 + 6, 18-20/x3 + 14) and Slam +6
    (3d6, 19-20/x2 + 9)
    Space 10 ft.; Reach 10 (15 with Sack) ft.
    Special Attacks Enslaving Grasp, Abyssal Leak, Soul Steal, Recurring Nightmares
    Special Qualities Hope Crushing Aura, Frozen Walk, Conjure Gift
    Saves Fort +15 Ref +13 Will +13
    Abilities Str 19, Dex 18, Con 21, Int 17 Wis 18, Cha 15
    Skills Spellcraft + 11, Intimidate + 15
    Feats -
    Environment Tundra
    Organization Solitary, Caravan (The Giver + 10-20 Winter Minions)
    Challenge Rating I dunno yet...
    Treasure Triple Standard
    Alignment Chaotic Evil
    Advancement -
    Level Adjustment-

    Enslaving Grasp: On a successful slam attack, the Giver deals 1 point of Wisdom damage. Every point of Wisdom the Giver removes from an opponent grants the Giver a temporary +1 deflection bonus to AC for one hour.

    Abyssal Leak (Su): If The Giver succeeds in hitting a creature with its Sack, the nether-stuff held in the Sack begins to leak out, causing one effect determined by a d10
    1: 1d6 extra fire damage
    2: 1d6 extra cold damage
    3: 1d6 extra lightning damage
    4: 1d6 extra sonic damage
    5: 1d6 extra acid damage
    6: -2 penalty on attack and damage for 1d4 rounds
    7: 1 point of Wisdom damage
    8: Summon a Winter Minion
    9: Heal 1d8 damage
    10: Nothing

    Hope Crushing Aura (Su): The Giver radiates an aura of pure hopelessness, crushing the spirits of those who attack it. Any living creature within 30 ft. of the Giver must succeed on a Will save (DC 16) or suffer a -1 penalty on attack rolls and saving throws. A creature that saves against the Giver's Hope Crushing Aura cannot be affected by it for 8 hours.

    Frozen Walk (Ex):While on ice or snow, The Giver's speed increases by 10ft. It suffers no penalty to rolls due to this terrain.

    Soul Steal (Su): If The Giver lowers an opponents Wisdom to 3 or lower, and The Giver lowers an opponents Wisdom again, they must make an extra will save (DC 20.) If they succeed, they regain 1 point of Wisdom. If they fail, they are instantly slain. 1d4 turns later, they are re-raised as mindless Winter Minions, forced to serve The Giver.

    Conjure Gift (Su): The Giver may draw a fragment of the soul from any Winter Minion within 50ft. For every soul fragment drawn, The Giver may create an item equal in value to 750 gp per fragment taken. A Winter Minion only has three soul fragments to give before it is destroyed.

    Reccurring Nightmares (Ex): The not-so jolly laugh of The Giver can force those who hear it to relive their worst experiences. Upon hearing the laugh, the hearer must make a will save (DC 16) if they fail they become shaken for 1d8 rounds.



    Winter Minion:

    "Winter Minion" is a template that can be added to a humanoid slain by The Giver by having its Wisdom drained.

    HD: A Winter Minion gains 2d8 hit points.

    Type: A Winter Minion's type changes to Undead due to the forces that reanimates it.

    Speed: A Winter Minion loses 5ft speed due to the lack of vigor and adrenaline in its body.

    Attacks: A Winter Minion gains a slam attack.

    Damage: A Winter Minion's new slam attack deals 2d6 damage.

    Special Attacks:

    Hope Draining Grasp (Su): Using a melee touch attack, a Winter Minion may drain one point of Wisdom from a humanoid. If the opponents Wisdom is dropped to 0 in this way, the humanoid is instantly slain and rises as a Winter Minion in 1d4 rounds.

    Special Qualities:

    Frozen Walk (Su): On snow or an icy surface, a Winter Minion suffers no penalty due to the terrain as well as gains a 10ft increase to speed.

    Unbreakable Servitude (Ex): The link between a Winter Minion and The Giver is so strong that while in an Anti-Magic field or a similar effect, a Winter Minion does not lose its Supernatural abilities as long as The Giver that created it is within 80ft of it and remains outside of the Anti-Magic effect.

    Abilities: Change from base creature: Str +2 Dex -1 Con -1 Int 3 Wis 2 Cha 2

    Alignment: Chaotic Evil



    Willful Servant:

    "Willful Servant" is a template that may be applied to any humanoid, monstrous humanoid, or outsider who succeeds in casting "Submit to Generosity"

    Type: A Willful Servant gains (Cold) as a subtype

    Special Attacks: A Willful Servant gains the following special attacks:

    Winter Chill (Ex): The darkness in a Willful Servant's heart radiates not warmth, but cold. On a successful touch attack, a Willful Servant may either encase a portion of the creature or object it touched in ice for 1 minute, or slow the creature as with the slow spell for 1d6 + 6 rounds.

    Soul Steal (Su): If a Willful Servant lowers an opponents Wisdom to 2 or lower, and the Willful Servant lowers an opponents Wisdom again, they must make an extra will save (DC 17.) If they succeed, they regain 2 points of Wisdom. If they fail, they are instantly slain. 1d8 turns later, they are re-raised as mindless Winter Minions, forced to serve the Willful Servant that created them, or The Giver if one is within 100ft of it.

    Special Qualities: A Willful Servant gains the following special qualities:

    Hope Crushing Aura (Su): If a Willful Servant attacks, creatures withing 20ft of the Willful Servant must make a will save (DC 18.) If they fail, they suffer a -1 on their attack rolls and will saves. After making the save, a creature cannot be effected by The Giver's Hope Crushing Aura for 1 hour.

    Abilities: Change from base creature. Dex -1 Con +1 Wis +2 Cha -1
    Last edited by CaelCyndar1993; 2006-12-18 at 03:06 PM.

  3. - Top - End - #3
    Halfling in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: [Gift] The Giver

    Submit to Generosity
    Transmutation [Evil]
    Level: Sor/Wiz 4 Clr 5
    Components: V, S, M, F
    Casting Time: 2 hours
    Range: Personal
    Target: Personal
    Duration: Instantaneous
    Saving Throw: None
    Spell Resistance: None

    Evil forces take over the caster as they submit theirselves to The Giver. A bag, placed in the center of a ritual circle, of which the caster must sit within the entire time, will begin to emit nether-stuff as the spell is cast. The nether-stuff will wrap around the caster, engulfing them in darkness and corrupting their soul. When the spell is completed, the caster is applied the "Willful Servant" Template.
    Last edited by CaelCyndar1993; 2006-12-12 at 12:01 AM.

  4. - Top - End - #4
    Halfling in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: [Gift] The Giver

    And some items here.

  5. - Top - End - #5
    Halfling in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: [Gift] The Giver

    And here's one more post incase I need it.

    You may begin commenting now.

  6. - Top - End - #6
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: [Gift] The Giver

    the wisdom drain below 10 is really harsh. i often play characters who arent divine casters with wis between 8 and 11 (makes the hack-and-slash mode make some sense). these guys would insta-die, since they couldnt make the save (low wis, which has been drained to be even lower). may consider dropping insta-death to wis 3, or something (since winter minion has wis 2).

  7. - Top - End - #7
    Halfling in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: [Gift] The Giver

    Point taken. Changing now.

  8. - Top - End - #8
    Orc in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: [Gift] The Giver

    I personally would suggest wisdom damage instaed of drain, I have always found that any ability drain is a drain (no pun intended) on the party's resourses, and is a drag to get rid of, and sometimes you can't, which can drain the fun of a game really fast.
    Cekiatar

  9. - Top - End - #9
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Mauril Everleaf's Avatar

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    Default Re: [Gift] The Giver

    agreed that drain sucks, but it would kinda depend on the CR of The Giver. Let me check VT's method, and if its high enough, i think drain could be appropriate. if its low, damage would fit better.

  10. - Top - End - #10
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: [Gift] The Giver

    well, according to VT's method, The Giver is CR 13 (which seems kinda weak for what its got) with its minions being CR Original+3, which would bump the CR of the encounter a bit if he has a couple of them or they are high CR to begin with. CR 13 is for ability damage, if you make it ability drain, id say CR 14. Someone may want to check my math, here is VT's method.

  11. - Top - End - #11
    Halfling in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: [Gift] The Giver

    Okay, I'll change it to damage. I always got the two mixed up, cuz I always thought damage was the permanent one.

  12. - Top - End - #12
    Ogre in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: [Gift] The Giver

    For some reason I was expecting a guy who shares otherwise forgotten memories with a special young person.
    Thanks to zegma for my awesome avatar.
    Proudly the founder of the Mr. Scruffy fanclub.
    We will not let Nessie down! http://www.petitiononline.com/PLEAOSAR/
    My DMs' Guild Stuff

  13. - Top - End - #13
    Halfling in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: [Gift] The Giver

    Though I can twist that into something evil... That sounds pretty good...

    Reccurring Nightmares (Su): The not-so jolly laugh of The Giver can force those who hear it to relive their worst experiences. Upon hearing the laugh, the hearer must make a will save (DC 16) if they fail they become shaken for 1d8 rounds.

  14. - Top - End - #14
    Ogre in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: [Gift] The Giver

    That IS a pretty good one.
    Thanks to zegma for my awesome avatar.
    Proudly the founder of the Mr. Scruffy fanclub.
    We will not let Nessie down! http://www.petitiononline.com/PLEAOSAR/
    My DMs' Guild Stuff

  15. - Top - End - #15
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Mauril Everleaf's Avatar

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    Default Re: [Gift] The Giver

    I also thought of the book The Giver, but then i realized that it was a christmas-time themed contest, so i assumed an evil santa-like creature (makes me kinda think of santabot from futurama).

  16. - Top - End - #16
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    OldWizardGuy

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    Default Re: [Gift] The Giver

    I saw that last night!
    "I reject your reality, and subsitute my own" -Adam Savage

  17. - Top - End - #17
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: [Gift] The Giver

    An interesting monster. I thought I'd put my own 2 cents in to help you along.

    Quote Originally Posted by CaelCyndar1993
    HD 9d8+54 (93 hp)
    Hit Dice: The Giver would have 85 hit points, not 93. To calculate hit points for a monster, you take the average of each hit dice. The average of a d8 is 4.5. A Con of 21 would grant a +5 modifier. 9x4.5 = 40.5. 9x5 = 45. 45+40.5 = 85.5, rounded down to 85.

    If the Giver has any other modifiers to its HP, please list them seperately from the bonus gained by its Con.

    Quote Originally Posted by CaelCyndar1993
    AC 21; touch 16; flat-footed 17
    (-1 size, +4 Dex, +5 Natural)
    AC should be 18; touch 13; flat-footed 14. Where are you getting the extra 3 AC from?

    Quote Originally Posted by CaelCyndar1993
    BAB +7; Grp +6
    Attack Sack +16
    (5d6, 18-20/x3 + 14)
    Full-Attack Sack +16
    (5d6, 18-20/x3 + 14) and Slam +6
    (3d6, 19-20/x2 + 9)
    The base attack for outsiders is equal to their HD, so the Giver's BAB should be +9. His attack with the sack should be +13 (unless it's treated as a +1 weapon, in which case it would be +14). Assuming it's a two-handed weapon, it's damage entry should read 5d6+6/18-20/x3. If the Giver's sack is treated as a manufactured weapon, then the creature should gain a second attack with it due to a high base attack bonus.

    Edit: 12/19: I forgot the -1 size penalty to attack rolls. Also, grapple should be +17. Large creatures receive a +4 size bonus on grapple checks.

    In the full attack entry, the slam's attack bonus should be +8, since it's a secondary weapon. Also, unless the creature has improved critical or the augmented critical racial trait, the critical threat for it's slam should be 20/x2. The damage entry, therefore, should be 3d6+4 (the Giver does not gain 1.5 times his strength bonus).

    Any additional damage the weapons due should be included.

    So, the full attack entry should read like the following:
    Full Attack: Sack +14/+9 melee (5d6+6 /18-20/x3) and slam +9 melee (3d6+4 plus 1 Wis)

    Quote Originally Posted by CaelCyndar1993
    Saves Fort +15 Ref +13 Will +13
    Base saves from HD are +6/+6/+6.

    Fort: 6 +5 = +11; Ref: 6 + 4 = +10; Will: 6 + 4 = +10

    Fort +11, Ref +10, Will +10

    Quote Originally Posted by CaelCyndar1993
    Abilities Str 19, Dex 18, Con 21, Int 17 Wis 18, Cha 15
    Skills Spellcraft + 11, Intimidate + 15

    Outsiders start with 8+Int x4 skill pts with their first HD, plus 8+Int every HD. So, essentially, a 9 HD outsider has (8+Int) x 12 hit points. The Giver has an Int bonus of +3, so that's 11x12= 132 skill points.

    All you have to do is pick 11 skills for the Giver to have max ranks in. I'd like to suggest Appraise, Bluff, Concentration, Craft, Diplomacy, Intimidate, Knowledge (Arcana), Knowledge (The Planes), Sense Motive, Spellcraft, and Use Magic Device.

    Feats -
    The Giver should have four feats.

    Quote Originally Posted by CaelCyndar1993
    Challenge Rating I dunno yet...
    Given what I've seen of this creature, I'd put it at around CR 10.

    Quote Originally Posted by CaelCyndar1993
    Enslaving Grasp (Ex): If The Giver succeeds in a Slam attack against a humanoid, the humanoid must make a will save (DC 19) If they fail their save, they lose 1 point of Wisdom damage. For every Wisdom point lost in this way, The Given gains +1 temporary AC for one hour.
    Suggestion: Remove the Will save and the Humanoid type specification. The negative energy coursing through the creature's body causes its foes to become disoriented and unable to resist its control. If you keep the Will save, the saving throw would be Charisma based, and would be 10 + 1/2 Giver's HD + 2 = DC 16.

    Enslaving Grasp: On a successful slam attack, the Giver deals 1 point of Wisdom damage. Every point of Wisdom the Giver removes from an opponent grants the Giver a temporary +1 deflection bonus to AC for one hour.

    Quote Originally Posted by CaelCyndar1993
    Hope Crushing Aura (Su): If The Giver attacks, creatures withing 30ft of The Giver must make a will save (DC 21.) If they fail, they suffer a -1 on their attack rolls and saves. After making the save, a creature cannot be effected by The Giver's Hope Crushing Aura for 1d10 minutes.
    The way you have this effect worded makes it similar to the Frightful Presence extraordinary ability. The Will modifier should be a Charisma based save. The DC, as above, should be 16.

    If the effect is an aura, then it should take effect at all times. See below:

    Hope Crushing Aura (Su): The Giver radiates an aura of pure hopelessness, crushing the spirits of those who attack it. Any living creature within 30 ft. of the Giver must succeed on a Will save (DC 16) or suffer a -1 penalty on attack rolls and saving throws. A creature that saves against the Giver's Hope Crushing Aura cannot be affected by it for 24 hours.

    Since you have to save every round, it makes the ability more powerful. However, the save DC is reduced so it's much easier to resist.

    Quote Originally Posted by CaelCyndar1993
    Soul Steal (Su): If The Giver lowers an opponents Wisdom to 3 or lower, and The Giver lowers an opponents Wisdom again, they must make an extra will save (DC 20.) If they succeed, they regain 1 point of Wisdom. If they fail, they are instantly slain. 1d4 turns later, they are re-raised as mindless Winter Minions, forced to serve The Giver.
    It's much simpler to make this an effect similar to a shadow's create spawn.

    Soul Steal (Su): Any humanoid reduced to Wisdom 0 by the Giver's slam attack becomes a winter minion under the control of the Giver within 1d4 rounds.

    Quote Originally Posted by CaelCyndar1993
    Reccurring Nightmares (Ex): The not-so jolly laugh of The Giver can force those who hear it to relive their worst experiences. Upon hearing the laugh, the hearer must make a will save (DC 16) if they fail they become shaken for 1d8 rounds.
    No advice. You have the correct saving throw for this ability; again, it's Charisma based.
    Last edited by Danu; 2006-12-19 at 07:32 PM.

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