Alignment Mockeries

[Fighter1000]

You know how people often use terms for Dungeons and Dragons alignments that are not exactly "official"? And are more of a joke really?
A few examples I have rolling around in my head are:
Lawful Stupid, Neutral Boring, Neutral Indifferent, Adorable Evil,
Chaotic Annoying, and Lawful Stick-Up-Your-Arse.

Do you, my fellow playgrounders, have any more alignment mockeries that you find entertaining? If so, please post them in this thread

[Sith_Happens]

"with anger issues," as a suffix/modifier to any of the actual alignments.

[The Fury]

Well, Stupid is entire alignment axis isn't it?

Stupid Good
Stupid Evil
Lawful Stupid
Chaotic Stupid

Though I guess for some reason there's no Stupid Neutral or Neutral Stupid.

[hamishspence]

Though I guess for some reason there's no Stupid Neutral or Neutral Stupid.

Actually, there is:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.ph.../StupidNeutral


The Mr Welch list has a couple of interesting alignment mentions:

651. My alignment is not Sarcastic Good.
742. Apparently Chaotic Angry and Neutral Hungry aren't real alignments either.

[valadil]

My favorite is chaotic hungry.

[Arbane]

One guy in my last campaign was 'Psychotic Neutral'.

[erikun]

I've also heard Chaotic Insane and Suicidally Evil. There is also Pacifist Good, which isn't always a bright idea.

[Ravens_cry]

I've also heard Chaotic Insane and Suicidally Evil. There is also Pacifist Good, which isn't always a bright idea.

In a game whose mechanical focus is based around how to kill things? Not so much, though it could potentially work, especially if you use the actually fairly diverse non-lethal combat options.
Being a spell-caster will help.

[Barsoom]

Animals are usually Neutral Hungry. A lot of adventurers I met are Neutral Greedy.

[Jay R]

I had a character I described as Lawful Noble. (This allowed him to fight the church's power.)

Wolves are Neutral Hungry.

I have occasionally run an NPC the characters wanted to do business with as Neutral Bored.

I ran a Champions character as Silver Age Lawful Good, which is very different from Modern Age LG.

I've considered running a character who is Chaotic Curious.

But whatever people put on the character sheet, there are only 3 PC alignments: Lawful Snotty, Neutral Greedy, and Chaotic Backstabbing.

[Winds]

I have had characters end up Sarcastic Good more often than not.

[Hyena]

Somebody said, and it's confirmed by my experience, there are only three aligments amongst the PCs - lawful snotty, neutral greedy and chaotic backstabbing.

[Dayaz]

One of my favorite characters was affectionally known as Chaotic Psychotic

[VariSami]

Ron Edwards's Elfs with Anal, Genital and Oral. Especially funny when you realize what Freud has to say about Anal and Oral personalities.

[Dr Bwaa]

I've seen versions of "Frightened" used on both axes.

I've also seen "Chaotic tendencies" as a modifier on any alignment.

And finally this is a touch off-topic but I think it's close enough that readers of this thread might enjoy it-- I have a character with the following on his sheet:

born with the Paladin's FIGHT EVIL class feature (despite the lack of Paladin levels)

[Arkhosia]

Lawful good: warden good (you can do this this and this. Do this, I hit you 200 times.)
Nuetral good: Nuetral hypocrisy (I'd love to help these beggars, but if I do I can't buy a +2 sword)
Chaotic good: ignorant good (I want to free them! Anarchy! No order! Let the people live without your benevolent tyranny,_____[Nuetral good king])

[Slipperychicken]

Somebody said, and it's confirmed by my experience, there are only three aligments amongst the PCs - lawful snotty, neutral greedy and chaotic backstabbing.

But whatever people put on the character sheet, there are only 3 PC alignments: Lawful Snotty, Neutral Greedy, and Chaotic Backstabbing.

This is all you really need. No, your character is not an exception.


I sometimes go with the ones already mentioned, plus:

• Chaotic Crazy.
• Chaotic Nutjob.
• Chaotic Douche.
• Chaotic Totally-not-Evil.
• Moustache-Twirling Evil.
• Cartoon-Villain Evil.

[HearTheRequiem]

One of my PCs had her alignment referred to as Chaotic Female by my DM.

[Erik Vale]

*Suscribe*
Lawful Pragmatic.
Lawful As*hole.
Bored Evil.
What's a wall? Chaotic.
Omnisexuetral.

[Dimers]

Lawful German.

Pollyanna Good.

Neutral Butler.

EDIT: Oh, and in addition to their other more descriptive actual alignment, quite a few paladins and monks are Lawful Supposedly.

[Waker]

Necessary Evil
Lawful Empirical
Chaotic Confusing

[The Fury]

Actually, there is:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.ph.../StupidNeutral

Haha! I guess I stand corrected.

This is all you really need. No, your character is not an exception.

Admittedly most of my [lawful] characters are pretty snotty.

[Arkhosia]

Buzzkill Good
Cliche Good
Anarchic Good
Sargeant Neutral
Donkey-Carrot Neutral
Lead-Sheet Neutral
Lawyer Evil
Monologue Evil
Megalomaniac Evil

[Scow2]

Lead-Sheet Neutral

This one's great (Removed joke-ruiner and fixed spelling for you)

[Arkhosia]

This one's great (Removed joke-ruiner and fixed spelling for you)

Detect evil not working reinforces it, leading us to the only logical conclusion: Chaotic Neutral people ritually rub liquid lead in themselves. Also, they are all secretly dragons.

[Slipperychicken]

Detect evil not working reinforces it, leading us to the only logical conclusion: Chaotic Neutral people ritually rub liquid lead in themselves. Also, they are all secretly dragons.

They also passed the OOC Bluff check to convince the DM they aren't Evil.

[JustSomeGuy]

I heard there's a clerical curse 'missed his nap' which modifies the target's alignment to 'chaotic grumpy'.

[Arkhosia]

They also passed the OOC Bluff check to convince the DM they aren't Evil.

Not true: they either bribed the DM with food, remembered his birthday, or invoked obscure rules (those who get the joke win an Internet).

[Waker]

Not true: they either bribed the DM with food, remembered his birthday, or invoked obscure rules (those who get the joke win an Internet).

I thought doing all of those things rewarded you with level ups?

[DigoDragon]

The three my group uses often are~

Chaotic Nutty (players that constantly come up with bad ideas)
Chaotic Butter (players that constantly enact said bad ideas)
Toast (players that died from said bad idea, usually by fire)