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    Default GitP Blood Bowl Manager Cup - Season IV [Matches, Standings, and Schedule]

    GITP Fantasy Blood Bowl Cup - Season IV


    This thread is where you will see results, leaders, upcoming matches, and highlights. Think of it as our own little Spike! Magazine. When highlights get posted, you will recieve a PM directing you here. Feel free to add trash-talk, boasting, and all manner of Blood Bowl talk here.

    If you're looking to manage players or make changes to your team, you want the Team Management Thread.

    Blood Bowl Rulebook can be found Here.


    The Cup Final Is Over!


    Fantasy Blood Bowl Season 4 Final! Feets Reloaded vs. Hellbug's Heroes Play-By-Play

    Spoiler
    Show


    Fantasy Blood Bowl Season 4 Final! Feets Reloaded vs. Hellbug's Heroes Play-By-Play






    Welcome everybody to the match you have all been waiting for. This season's cup finals features The rebooted Stinky Feets team under new management against repeat Finals offenders Hellbug's Heroes, hoping to finally shake the monkey off their back and score a Cup victory. The Feets' run thus far has been absolutely amazing, considering the state of their roster, but they have been bolstered by the play of the league's best player, and two excellent gutter runners. The Heroes meanwhile continue to set the gold standard for playoff play, and their consistent playoff success marks Hellbug as one of the premier coaches in this league.

    Looks like the Heroes have won the toss, and they are electing to receive. An unremarkable kick by Kowen, and the ball settles near the center of the Heroes backfield, Trush moves to recover, and he's got the ball.



    The Heroes line gets to work, and are making good progress against one of the more exceptional lines in the league. But look at this! Orgetorix has lain out Green Nail and Trush is moving through the gap! Orgetorix has had one of th best seasons of any Heroes player, and I'm not surprised in the least to see him making an impact early on by knocking out a key Feets player.



    Trush is moving upfield, angling towards the leftside sideline, but a pair of Feets linerats are moving to interdict. Trush blocks the tackle and stays on his feet! A Heroes beastman is moving to assist, Trush says "No thank you, I'm good to go.", and bounces away with a leaping dodge! He's in the clear, and he's in the endzone, Touchdown! The Heroes take the lead, 1-0.



    The Heroes line up for the next kickoff, and it's away. Deep, deep kick, and gutter runner Cautious Charlie moves back to field the ball. He's got it, and his teammates are moving to support, but the Heroes are giving chase. What is this? The beastman Jemal Jenson comes down off the wing with a lightning blitz, smashing the veteran stormvermin Stinger, and knocking him clear out of the match!



    The Heroes continue to collapse on the Feets formation, and Cautious Charlie goes down. The ball is loose, but gutter runner Krusty Kallypso is able to get to it first, Kallypso dodges away and cuts loose with a pass upfield! It's a fantastic pass to journeyrat Lhier of Itchy, but Lhier is covered and fails to escape his cover man. He's lost the ball, and that's going to be all for the half.



    So here we are in the second half! This time, the Feets are set to receive, and the Heroes let it fly. A down-the-center kick, and it settles center pitch in Feets territory. Cautious Charlie fields the ball, and the blockers go to work. Meanwhile, Cautious Charlie stays focused, and weak play in the Heroes backfield has left Krusty Kallypso up but covered. Charlie is going for it anyways, and beautiful pass! Right into Krusty's hands. Krusty high-steps around his opponent, scoring, and tying the match!



    The Heroes have plenty of time, and as they line up to receive once more, the kick is away. Kowen's kick drifts to the Heroes' right, and as it settle on the ground, their blockers spring into motion. POW! Look at that, Orgetorix picks up his second casualty of the match with a vicious block on the linerat Shades! Just like that, the Heroes are systematically dismantling every piece of the Feets roster that would allow them to block on even ground with the Heroes. Reloaded have now lost three of their most important defensive players.



    Beastman Flush takes the ball, and his blockers have opened up a massive hole in the Feets line. Flush is bolting for the hole!



    The Heroes are pressing their advantage. Spread out, and without most of their best defensive players, they are keeping the remaining feets players flat on the pitch. This has been a major problem for Kowen all day. There is only so much that one player can do without any support. The Heroes have been double and triple-teaming him all day, and- Look at this! Flush shoots down the line! There's not a single Feets player close enough to stop him, and Flush scores! He gives the Heroes the lead, with just moments remaining in the match, he has completely redeemed himself of his costly fumble in last season's final.



    As the celebration dies down, the Heroes let loose with what will likely be the final kickoff of the match. Krusty Kallypso fields the ball, and it looks like the Feets are well aware that this match is in the bag. Krusty falls back deep in his backfield and takes a knee. But Flush isn't having that! He lays one into linerat Lashee Creep! He dead! He's Dead! Flush picks up a kill as the final seconds tick off the clock. He has now redeemed himself with that touchdown, and paid back the death of his late friend Brunbob with this kill! Lashee Creep was a journeyman who actually made it onto a roster, but soon discovered the price of success in this league, suffering several injuries this season, and now finally death at the hands of this glorious sport.



    The final whistle blows, and we have a winner! Hellbug's Heroes put their detractors to shame, and finally get over the hump to become the Season IV GitP Fantasy Blood Bowl Cup Champions! The beastmen have just doused coach Hellbug with a cooler full of elf blood, and the crowd is going wild! The remaining Feets players take their teammates back to the locker-rooms on stetchers, surrendering the field to the jubilant Heroes. What a fantastic match, and masterful performance. The Heroes dismantled the Feets machine piece-by-piece, and the strategy paid off. They are the new Cup Champions!



    Hail To The Champions of Season 4!

    Spoiler
    Show


    The victorious champs! In their Season 4 Pre-Cup Photoshoot. Not pictured: Krikzer Flannel

    Hail To The Champions of Season 4!



    Drive Chart


    Hellbug's Heroes Match Statistics

    Feets Reloaded Match Statistics


    Hellbug's Heroes SPP/Injury Report
    {table=head]No.|Name|SPP|Injury

    1|Ajax|5|n/a|

    3|Orgetorix|4| n/a |

    5|Jemal Jensen|2|n/a|

    8|Trush|3| n/a |

    9|Flush|5| n/a |

    10|Adam Mcgillis|2| n/a |

    [/table]


    Feets Reloaded SPP/Injury Report
    {table=head]No.|Name|SPP|Injury

    2|Stinger|0| Broken Jaw (Miss Next Game) |

    4|Krusty Kallypso|9| n/a |

    6|Green Nail|0| Broken Jaw (Miss Next Game) |

    8|Shades|0| Smashed Knee (Niggling Injury) |

    11|Lashee Creep|0| DEAD |

    12|Cautious Charlie|1| n/a |

    [/table]

    Hellbug's Heroes Winnings: $150,000, +1 Factor
    Feets Reloaded Winnings: $70,000, -1 Factor

    Hellbug's Heroes take home the GitP Fantasy BloodBowl Cup, granting +1 Team Rerolls (added to team value as normal) for as long as they defend their championship.







    Season Awards Announced!

    Most Valuable Player - Kowen, Feets Reloaded
    Offensive Player of the Year - Xi-Li of Huatl, Outrageous Cretaceous
    Defensive Player of the Year - Doc Nutsmasher, Beyond Entropy
    Offensive Rookie of the Year - Waity Darkbeard, Crooked Peak
    Defensive Rookie of the Year - Blind Io, Blind Faith

    *See Wiki for award details*

    League Wiki
    Last edited by Crow; 2014-01-26 at 05:36 PM.
    Avatar by Aedilred

    GitP Blood Bowl Manager Cup Record
    Styx Rivermen, Feets Reloaded, and Selene's Seductive Strut
    Record: 42-17-13
    3-time Division Champ, Cup Champion

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    Default Re: GitP Blood Bowl Manager Cup - Season 4 [Matches, Standings, and Schedule]

    Division A Standings

    {table=head]Rank|Team|Team Value|Wins|Losses|Draws|Div. Record|Streak|Points

    1| Outrageous Cretaceous |1890|7|1|4|4-0-2|W1|29

    2| Feets Reloaded |1410 (1510)|5|5|2|4-1-1|W1|21

    3| The Shadow |1350|6|5|1|2-3-1|W1|21

    4| The Bloodknights |1790|4|5|3|2-3-1|W1|17

    5| Blind Faith |1260|3|8|1|2-3-1|L6|12

    6| Nature's Guardians |800 (850)|3|8|1|2-3-1|L5|12

    7| Beyond Entropy |1340 (1390) |1|8|3|1-3-1|L1|7

    [/table]



    Division B Standings

    {table=head]Rank|Team|Team Value|Wins|Losses|Draws|Div. Record|Streak|Points

    1| The Drakenhof Returned |1630|8|3|1|3-1-1|L1|28

    2| The Johnnys' Quest |1860 (1930)|7|4|1|3-2-0|W2|25

    3| Crooked Peak |1450|6|4|2|2-3-0|L1|22

    4| Hellbug's Heroes |1840|4|4|4|3-0-2|W1|19

    5| Red Sabres |1920 |5|4|3|0-3-2|W3|18

    6| Rampant Professionalism |1350|5|5|2|1-3-1|L3|18

    [/table]


    Upcoming Week's Inducements


    League Leaders
    (Big thanks to Aedilred for compiling this!)
    Quote Originally Posted by Aedilred
    League Leaders - Post-Season Only

    {table=head]Rank|Name|Team|SPPs
    1|Krusty Kallypso|Feets Reloaded|18
    2|Orgeterix|Hellbug's Heroes|13
    3|Flush|Hellbug's Heroes|34
    4|Ferr N.S. "Pudge" Kash|Red Sabres|11
    5|Krikzer Flannel|Hellbug's Heroes|10
    [/table]

    Touchdowns

    {table=head]Rank|Name|Team|TDs
    1|Krusty Kallypso|Feets Reloaded|4
    =2|Ferr N.S. "Pudge" Kash|Red Sabres|2
    =2|Waity Darkbeard|Crooked Peak|2
    =2|Krikzer Flannel|Hellbug's Heroes|2
    =5|Xi-li of Huatl| Outrageous Cretaceous |1
    =5|Cautious Charlie|Feets Reloaded|1
    =5|Mattheus Lichtenstein|The Drakenhof Returned|1
    =5|Biter|The Shadow|1
    =5|Fedecks|Blind Faith|1
    =5|Slammy CTCT|Crooked Peak|1
    =5|Dr. Bonecrusher|Hellbug's Heroes|1
    =5|Andecembogius|Hellbug's Heroes|1
    =5|Sauvignon "The Conduit" Blanc|The Johnnys' Quest|1
    =5|Bry N.O. Dryskull|Red Sabres|1
    =5|Adam McGillis|Hellbug's Heroes|1
    =5|Flush|Hellbug's Heroes|1
    =5|Trush|Hellbug's Heroes|1
    [/table]

    Passes

    {table=head]Rank|Name|Team|Pass
    =1|Jon T. Partí |The Johnnys' Quest|1
    =1|Adam McGillis|Hellbug's Heroes|1
    =1|Kowen|Feets Reloaded|1
    =1|Krusty Kallypso|Feets Reloaded|1
    =1|Cautious Charlie|Feets Reloaded|1
    [/table]

    Casualties

    {table=head]Rank|Name|Team|Cas
    1|Orgeterix|Hellbug's Heroes|4
    1|Jokey CTCT|Crooked Peak|3
    =2|Doc Nutsmasher|Beyond Entropy|2
    =2|"Bluebeater" Rudy|Beyond Entropy|2
    =2|Bro Science|Feets Reloaded|2
    =2|Apollo Helios|Blind Faith|2
    =2|Fredo D. Stefani|Red Sabres|2
    =2|Rusty Alehammer|Crooked Peak|2
    =2|Krikzer Flannel|Hellbug's Heroes|2
    =2|Slammy CTCT|Crooked Peak|2
    =2|Flush|Hellbug's Heroes|2
    [/table]

    Knockouts

    {table=head]Rank|Name|Team|KOs
    1|"Fat" Ronald|Red Sabres|3
    =2|Krikzer Flannel|Hellbug's Heroes|2
    =2|Ghra|The Drakenhof Returned|2
    =2|Thelonius Magnum|Hellbug's Heroes|2
    =2|Raf Ali Ban Ezz|Red Sabres|2
    =2|Fredo D. Stefani|Red Sabres|2
    [/table]

    Kills

    {table=head]Rank|Name|Team|Kills
    1|Flush|Hellbug's Heroes|2
    2|Sköll|The Shadow|1
    [/table]

    Interceptions

    {table=head]Rank|Name|Team|IT
    1|Slammy CTCT|Crooked Peak|1
    [/table]

    Rushing Yards

    {table=head]Rank|Name|Team|SPPs
    1|Krusty Kallypso|Feets Reloaded |192
    2|Waity Darkbeard|Crooked Peak|148
    3|Fernand O.E. Arrow|Red Sabres|84
    4|Krikzer Flannel|Hellbug's Heroes|72
    5|Flush|Hellbug's Heroes|60
    [/table]



    League Leaders - Season Total (including Post-Season)

    Players marked with an asterisk in the tables below took part in the All-Division Match.

    Star Player Points

    {table=head]Rank|Name|Team|SPPs
    1|Kowen*|Feets Reloaded|69
    2|Waity Darkbeard|Crooked Peak|63
    3|Orgeterix*|Hellbug's Heroes|57
    4|Lady "Cookie" Fingers|The Johnnys' Quest|50
    5|Doc Nutsmasher*|Beyond Entropy|49
    6|Ferr N.S. "Pudge" Kash*|Red Sabres|48
    7|Xl-li of Huatl|Outrageous Cretaceous|46
    8|Cole "Black" Stacks|Rampant Professionalism|44
    9|Derk von Duneheim*|The Bloodknights|39
    10|Flush|Hellbug's Heroes|34
    [/table]

    Touchdowns

    {table=head]Rank|Name|Team|TDs
    1|Xi-li of Huatl| Outrageous Cretaceous |15
    2|Waity Darkbeard|Crooked Peak|14
    3|Lady "Cookie" Fingers*|The Johnnys' Quest|13
    =4|Kowen "the Natural"*|Feets Reloaded|8
    =4|Ferr N.S. "Pudge" Kash*|Red Sabres|8
    =6|Cautious Charlie|Feets Reloaded|7
    =6|Bry N.O. Dryskull|Red Sabres|7
    =6|Lucius von Duneheim*|The Bloodknights|7
    =6|Sessrumnir|Nature's Guardians|7
    =10|Krusty Kallypso|Feets Reloaded|6
    =10|Cole "Black" Stacks|Rampant Professionalism|6
    [/table]

    Passes

    {table=head]Rank|Name|Team|Pass
    1|Jon T. Partí |The Johnnys' Quest|14
    2|Sloan “Sunglasses” Knight*|Rampant Professionalism|10
    3|Fernand O.E. Arrow|Red Sabres|9
    =4|Kowen "The Natural"*|Feets Reloaded|3
    =4|Krusty Kallypso|Feets Reloaded|3
    =6|Adhil|Beyond Entropy|2
    =6|Derk von Duneheim*|The Bloodknights|2
    =6|Cautious Charlie|Feets Reloaded|2
    [/table]

    Casualties

    {table=head]Rank|Name|Team|Cas
    1|Doc Nutsmasher*|Beyond Entropy|15
    2|Orgeterix*|Hellbug's Heroes|14
    3|Blind Io*|Blind Faith| 11
    4|Kowen*|Feets Reloaded|10
    =5|Bro Science*|Feets Reloaded| 8
    =5|Markus the Unhallowed*|The Drakenhof Returned|8
    =7|Fredo D. Stefani*|Red Sabres|7
    =7|Möbius*|Beyond Entropy|7
    =9|Ajax*|Hellbug's Heroes|6
    =9|The Great God Om|Blind Faith|6
    =9|Twichy Alehammer|Crooked Peak|6
    =9|Bloomberg*|The Johnnys' Quest|6
    =9|Flush|Hellbug's Heroes|6
    [/table]

    Knockouts

    {table=head]Rank|Name|Team|KOs
    1|Kowen*|Feets Reloaded|14
    2|Quetankha of the Jungles of Despair*|Outrageous Cretaceous|12
    =3|The Great God Om| Blind Faith| 10
    =3|Doc Nutsmasher*|Beyond Entropy|10
    5|Fredo D. Stefani*|Red Sabres|9
    6|Blind Io*|Blind Faith|8
    =7|Varrick the Thrice-Cursed|The Drakenhof Returned|7
    =7|Baldr Dash|Nature's Guardians|7
    =7|Sköll*|The Shadow|7
    [/table]

    Kills

    {table=head]Rank|Name|Team|Kills
    =1|Kowen*|Feets Reloaded|2
    =1|Flush|Hellbug's Heroes|2
    =3|Dr. Bonecrusher| Hellbug's Heroes| 1
    =3|Max Dryhauser| Hellbug's Heroes| 1
    =3|Sam Vinchester|Bloodknights|1
    =3|Andecembogius|Hellbug's Heroes|1
    =3|Fate*|Blind Faith|1
    =3|Happy CTCT|Crooked Peak|1
    =3|Jumpy "The Fast" Longears|The Johnnys' Quest|1
    =3|Vladimir Gorb|Bloodknights|1
    =3|Eazy M.|Feets Reloaded|1
    =3|Trey C. Dikk|Red Sabres|1

    =2|Sköll|The Shadow|1
    [/table]

    Interceptions

    {table=head]Rank|Name|Team|IT
    =1|Waity Darkbeard|Crooked Peak|2
    =1|Kowen*|Feets Reloaded|2
    =3|Karol P. Borsci|Red Sabres|1
    =3|Baldr Dash|Nature's Guardians|1
    =3|Slammy CTCT|Crooked Peak|1
    [/table]

    Rushing Yards

    {table=head]Rank|Name|Team|SPPs
    1|Waity Darkbeard|Crooked Peak|806
    2|Xl-li of Huatl| Outrageous Cretaceous |542
    3|Sessrumnir| Nature's Guardians|500
    4|Krusty Kallypso|Feets Reloaded|346
    5|Kowen*|Feets Reloaded|344
    6|Cautious Charlie|Feets Reloaded|292
    7|Fernand O.E. Arrow|Red Sabres|278
    8|Jon T. Parti|The Johnnys' Quest|270
    9|Jan Henryk Dabrowski|The Shadow|258
    10|Flush|Hellbug's Heroes|248
    [/table]
    Last edited by Crow; 2014-06-25 at 11:20 PM.
    Avatar by Aedilred

    GitP Blood Bowl Manager Cup Record
    Styx Rivermen, Feets Reloaded, and Selene's Seductive Strut
    Record: 42-17-13
    3-time Division Champ, Cup Champion

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    Default Re: GitP Blood Bowl Manager Cup - Season 4 [Matches, Standings, and Schedule]

    Regular Season Schedule and Results

    Spoiler
    Show

    Week 1:

    {table=head]-|-|-

    The Johnnys' Quest | 0-2 | Rampant Professionalism

    Outrageous Cretaceous | 2-1 | The Bloodknights

    Red Sabres | 2-1 | Beyond Entropy

    Hellbug's Heroes | 1-1 | The Drakenhof Returned

    Blind Faith | 1-2 | Nature's Guardians

    The Shadow | 2-0 | Crooked Peak

    Feets Reloaded | - | -BYE WEEK-

    [/table]

    Week 2: Rookie Teams Week

    {table=head]-|-|-

    Outrageous Cretaceous | 3-0 | The Johnnys' Quest

    Red Sabres | 2-2 | Rampant Professionalism

    Hellbug's Heroes | 1-1 | The Bloodknights

    Blind Faith | 2-1 | Beyond Entropy

    The Shadow | 2-1 | The Drakenhof Returned

    Feets Reloaded | 2-1 | Nature's Guardians

    Crooked Peak | - | -BYE WEEK-

    [/table]

    Week 3:

    {table=head]-|-|-

    Red Sabres | 3-1 | Outrageous Cretaceous

    Hellbug's Heroes | 2-0 | The Johnnys' Quest

    Blind Faith | 0-2 | Rampant Professionalism

    The Shadow | 3-0 | The Bloodknights

    Feets Reloaded | 1-3 | Beyond Entropy

    Crooked Peak | 0-1 | The Drakenhof Returned

    Nature's Guardians | - | -BYE WEEK-

    [/table]

    Week 4:

    {table=head]-|-|-

    Hellbug's Heroes | 1-1 | Red Sabres

    Blind Faith | 1-1 | Outrageous Cretaceous

    The Shadow | 0-3 | The Johnnys' Quest

    Feets Reloaded | 2-1 | Rampant Professionalism

    Crooked Peak | 2-1 | The Bloodknights

    Nature's Guardians | 1-0 | Beyond Entropy

    The Drakenhof Returned | - | -BYE WEEK-

    [/table]

    Week 5: Star Player Action Week

    {table=head]-|-|-

    Blind Faith | 1-0 | Hellbug's Heroes

    The Shadow | 2-1 | Red Sabres

    Feets Reloaded | 1-1 | Outrageous Cretaceous

    Crooked Peak | 1-2 |The Johnnys' Quest

    Nature's Guardians | 0-1 | Rampant Professionalism

    The Drakenhof Returned | 2-1 | The Bloodknights

    Beyond Entropy | - | -BYE WEEK-

    [/table]

    Week 6:

    {table=head]-|-|-

    The Shadow | 0-1 | Blind Faith

    Feets Reloaded | 1-2 | Hellbug's Heroes

    Crooked Peak | 2-1 | Red Sabres

    Nature's Guardians | 1-2 | Outrageous Cretaceous

    The Drakenhof Returned | 1-3 | The Johnnys' Quest

    Beyond Entropy | 1-2 | Rampant Professionalism

    The Bloodknights| - | -BYE WEEK-

    [/table]

    Week 7:

    {table=head]-|-|-

    Feets Reloaded | 2-0 | The Shadow

    Crooked Peak | 2-0 | Blind Faith

    Nature's Guardians | 2-0 | Hellbug's Heroes

    The Drakenhof Returned | 2-1 | Red Sabres

    Beyond Entropy | 0-3 | Outrageous Cretaceous

    The Bloodknights | 2-1 | The Johnnys' Quest

    Rampant Professionalism | - | -BYE WEEK-

    [/table]

    All-Star Week: All-Division Match and Snotling Derby, Mid-Season Reports

    {table=head]-|-|-

    Division A All-Stars | 4-3 (OT) | Division B All-Stars

    [/table]

    Week 9:

    {table=head]-|-|-

    Crooked Peak | 1-0 | Feets Reloaded

    Nature's Guardians | 1-1 | The Shadow

    The Drakenhof Returned | 2-0 | Blind Faith

    Beyond Entropy | 1-1 | Hellbug's Heroes

    The Bloodknights | 0-0 | Red Sabres

    Rampant Professionalism | 2-2 | Outrageous Cretaceous

    The Johnnys' Quest | - | -BYE WEEK-

    [/table]

    Week 10:

    {table=head]-|-|-

    Nature's Guardians | 1-2 | Crooked Peak

    The Drakenhof Returned | 2-1 | Feets Reloaded

    Beyond Entropy | 0-3 | The Shadow

    The Bloodknights | 2-0 | Blind Faith

    Rampant Professionalism | 0-2 | Hellbug's Heroes

    The Johnnys' Quest | 3-2 | Red Sabres

    Outrageous Cretaceous | - | -BYE WEEK-

    [/table]

    Week 11: Player Swap Week

    {table=head]-|-|-

    The Drakenhof Returned | 2-0 | Nature's Guardians

    Beyond Entropy | 2-2 | Crooked Peak

    The Bloodknights | 0-2 | Feets Reloaded

    Rampant Professionalism | 2-0 | The Shadow

    The Johnnys' Quest | 4-0 | Blind Faith

    Outrageous Cretaceous | 2-0 | Hellbug's Heroes

    Red Sabres | - | -BYE WEEK-

    [/table]

    Week 12:

    {table=head]-|-|-

    Beyond Entropy | 0-1 | The Drakenhof Returned

    The Bloodknights | 2-0 | Nature's Guardians

    Rampant Professionalism | 1-3 | Crooked Peak

    The Johnnys' Quest | 3-3 | Feets Reloaded

    Outrageous Cretaceous | 2-1 | The Shadow

    Red Sabres | 3-1 | Blind Faith

    Hellbug's Heroes | - | -BYE WEEK-

    [/table]

    Week 13:

    {table=head]-|-|-

    The Bloodknights | 1-1 | Beyond Entropy

    Rampant Professionalism | 1-2 | The Drakenhof Returned

    The Johnnys' Quest | 4-0 | Nature's Guardians

    Outrageous Cretaceous | 1-1 | Crooked Peak

    Red Sabres | 3-2 | Feets Reloaded

    Hellbug's Heroes | 0-2 | The Shadow

    Blind Faith | - | -BYE WEEK-

    [/table]

    Week 14:

    {table=head]-|-|-

    Rampant Professionalism | 1-2 | The Bloodknights

    The Johnnys' Quest | 4-0 | Beyond Entropy

    Outrageous Cretaceous | 1-0 | The Drakenhof Returned

    Red Sabres | 2-1 | Nature's Guardians

    Hellbug's Heroes | 2-0 | Crooked Peak

    Blind Faith | 0-2 | Feets Reloaded

    The Shadow | - | -BYE WEEK-

    [/table]


    Playoff Schedule and Results

    Spoiler
    Show
    The Crud! Cup:

    {table=head]-|-|-

    Blind Faith | 1-0 | Beyond Entropy

    [/table]

    Playoff Quarter-Finals:

    {table=head]Match|-|-|-

    1| Outrageous Cretaceous | 1-2 | Red Sabres

    2| The Drakenhof Returned | 1-2 (OT)| Hellbug's Heroes

    3| Feets Reloaded | 2-1 (OT) | The Shadow

    4| The Johnnys' Quest | 1-2 (OT) | Crooked Peak

    [/table]

    Playoff Semi-Finals:

    {table=head]Match|-|-|-

    1| Feets Reloaded | 2-1 | Red Sabres

    2| Crooked Peak | 1-3 | Hellbug's Heroes

    [/table]

    GITP Fantasy Blood Bowl Final:

    {table=head]-|-|-

    Feets Reloaded| 1-2 |Hellbug's Heroes

    [/table]
    Last edited by Crow; 2014-01-26 at 05:15 PM.
    Avatar by Aedilred

    GitP Blood Bowl Manager Cup Record
    Styx Rivermen, Feets Reloaded, and Selene's Seductive Strut
    Record: 42-17-13
    3-time Division Champ, Cup Champion

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    Default Re: GitP Blood Bowl Manager Cup - Season IV [Matches, Standings, and Schedule]

    Untitled Ironic News Source


    Cutting Edge Research Into Enantiomorphic Oversouls
    Theors at the Bes Pelorgic Institute of Gnosticism have announced startling advances in the study of the notional entities referred to as 'gods' by most layfolk. In particular, the make-up of the 'soul' of a creature that is by many accounts composed of nothing but spiritual essence or energy has posed quite a problem. As a soul is often defined as merely a component of a larger entity, a being which is entirely soul-stuff violates its own basal definition of existence.

    Current research seems to suggest that though they lack a distinct, discreet soul of their own, Gods partake in an 'oversoul', a resonant field which informs and is informed by the God in equal measures. As the 'oversoul' is theorized to be in some senses 'larger' than the Gods themselves, it is possible for more than one supposed deity to partake of the same 'oversoul'. This explains the overlap between different pantheons, and the similarities found therein. Blind Io, Zeus, and Wodin all partake of what has recently been classified as 'Oversoul Number #244', more commonly known as 'Sky Father Mad'.

    These discoveries support recent developments on the scientific experiment slash Blood Bowl team Blind Faith. According to insider sources, a number of the players on the squad are displaying traits which are associated with their mythic namesakes. Apollo Helios has begun wearing togas, Aniger has been looking very nervous around carts and in the words of one fellow player," Its like Io's got eyes in the back orf his head, even." It seems that the players on the team are undergoing a limited form of apotheosis, communing in the 'oversouls' of their eponymous gods.

    Things That Are More Likely Than the Blind Faith making the Playoffs

    A dwarf offering you half of his mug of beer (1:257,205,244 against)
    A dozen randomly selected men agreeing on the best route from Basingstoke to Birmingham (1:568,292,244 against)
    A dozen men actually wanting to go to Birmingham in the first place (1:2,591,866,211,923,244 against)
    Water spontanously transmuting into Wine from Quantum Tunneling (1:45,266,111,219,352,244 against)
    A snowball persisting in Hell (1:751,899,110,344,576,998,942,244 against)
    Last edited by NobodyMuch; 2014-01-06 at 12:43 AM.
    Exitus Acta Probate Pax Paritur


  5. - Top - End - #5
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    Default Re: GitP Blood Bowl Manager Cup - Season IV [Matches, Standings, and Schedule]

    Team Star Player Points Touchdowns Passes Kills Casualties Knockouts Rushing Yards Interceptions
    Beyond Entropy 143 9 2 1 27 30 440 0
    Blind Faith 134 7 0 1 28 29 496 0
    Bloodknights 146 13 3 1 22 20 512 0
    Crooked Peak 161 16 1 0 26 20 810 2
    Feets Reloaded 184 19 7 0 30 30 848 2
    Hellbug's Heroes 158 12 0 3 32 34 632 0
    Nature's Guardians 109 10 0 0 11 19 612 1
    Outrageous Cretaceous 155 21 0 0 16 30 748 0
    Rampant Professionalism 147 17 9 0 13 15 720 0
    Red Sabres 170 21 11 1 17 30 634 1
    The Drakenhof Returned 155 16 0 0 22 24 634 0
    The Johnnys' Quest 184 27 15 1 19 24 656 0
    The Shadow 137 15 0 0 15 21 594 0

    Effective Opponent Strength Ratings

    This is a rating calculated using the combined Casualty and KO totals of a team compared with halves played. It gives an average of the number of opposing players remaining on the pitch at the end of a half.

    Team E.O.S. Rating
    Beyond Entropy 8.63
    Blind Faith 8.63
    Bloodknights 9.25
    Crooked Peak 8.96
    Feets Reloaded 8.5
    Hellbug's Heroes 8.25
    Nature's Guardians 9.75
    Outrageous Cretaceous 9.08
    Rampant Professionalism 9.83
    Red Sabres 9.04
    The Drakenhof Returned 9.08
    The Johnnys' Quest 9.21
    The Shadow 9.5
    Last edited by Aedilred; 2014-04-01 at 05:34 PM.
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    Default Re: GitP Blood Bowl Manager Cup - Season IV [Matches, Standings, and Schedule]

    Voice of Gods


    Old faces in new places... legends take center stage in upcoming matchup.


    Are the rumors true? Have Thunder and Lightning both joined the new Norseman team, Nature's Guardians? Guardians' Gray Lewis offered some thoughts on two legends joining a rookie team.

    "It's unbelievable that these two would risk their reputations to help out a new team. That speaks to their passion for the game. Thanks to them, I believe we stand a solid chance going into the season."

    So how will this proven duo match up against their first opponents, Blind Faith? Well on paper, it appears that the Guardians are ready, so long as Thunder and Lightning can continue their long string of success. However, it's worth noting that these Ogres are some strong brutes. Perhaps they catch Lightning in a bottle and win this match with some overwhelming force, but so long as the Guardians stick to their finesse play, they should walk away with the W.
    Last edited by Trivino; 2013-10-05 at 10:27 PM.

  7. - Top - End - #7
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    Default Re: GitP Blood Bowl Manager Cup - Season IV [Matches, Standings, and Schedule]

    KO! Magazine

    Can't afford a byeline

    By Bill Moroni

    Hello there, Blood Bowl fans, and welcome back to another KO! Magazine. You may be wondering where we've been the last few weeks-

    Skögul: I assure you, they're not.

    - but thanks to a strike at the printing press over working hours or something that's taken a while to resolve, we haven't been able to put out a magazine for a few weeks.

    S. "Fab" Rickas: Turns out if you make your workers do 24-hour shifts for no pay eventually they die.

    Skögul: On the other hand, contributors get it easy, with long shifts and minimum wage.

    And of course I'm pleased to welcome back our regular contributors, S. "Fab" Rickas and Skögul. Let's start by looking at the week's results. The Johnnys and Feets: best match ever?

    SFR: Pretty awesome. They're two of the best teams in the league to watch and they both brought their A-game. That elven thrower, John Coff E. Morning or whatever he's called, it's amazing to think a few weeks ago people were calling for his sacking. He's only two passes away from Arms's season record.

    Meanwhile we had Blind Faith up against the Sabres in a desperate fight for both of them to stay in contention.

    SFR: Blind Faith have surprised a few people, because they've been much better than anyone really expected. Unfortunately we were expecting them to be awful, so in fact they've only been ok. The Sabres have been poor since the Heroes match, although they played strongly against the Johnnys, and coming off a bye week and the Faith only able to play three Ogres, well, the Sabres were always going to be favourites.

    Will either of them qualify?


    SFR: I hope the Sabres will, and they've certainly got a better shot, but, realistically, I don't think so.

    Next week, of course, they're up against the Feets, with Kowen in red-hot form.

    Skögul: Kowen really is something special.

    SFR: Steady on, my lover.

    Skögul: Not like that. He's still a giant rat, after all. But he's almost inarguably the best all-round player the league's ever had.

    SFR: Only Fredo really holds a candle in that department, but he's been ineffective recently. After winning the Grintoof Derby I'd have expected him to take out a couple of snotlings last week at least.

    Skögul: Without Kowen, the Feets would be nowhere. If they qualify, he's surely a shoo-in for MVP.

    SFR: It probably helps that in many of their games he's been trained up the wazoo.

    Do rats even have a wazoo?

    Skögul: I don't know why you say these things.

    Well, I have to say something.

    Skögul: No, you really don't. I'm serious! What are you for, Bill?

    Er...

    Skögul: On my way home from the office last week a guy came up to me and asked if I'd be interested in taking on a position at his strip club. I'm not sure I made the right decision in turning him down and staying here.

    You can't be serious! That's no life for you. It's degrading, the pay is terrible, you've got skeezy guys leering at you all day...

    Skögul: That's all true. If I'd taken up stripping, on the other hand...

    Anyway, back to Blood-

    Skögul: -No! You don't understand! I could have been a contender! I could have been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am. It was you, Bill. You and Dezz came up to me at the afterparty and told me I had great legs and would be great in your magazine, and I bought it hook line and sinker.

    SFR: To be fair, you do have great legs.

    Skögul: I know! (and if Bill had said that he'd be swallowing teeth right now) But when we go to print you can't even see them! How are they in any way an asset for this sort of work?

    Well, when I said you had great legs and would you join our magazine, technically they were two separate statements.

    Skögul: It doesn't matter any more. I've had it.

    But... what will you do?

    Skögul: I don't care. Street Bowl, Dungeonbowl, coaching? CABALvision commercials for frozen vegetables? It can't be worse than this. I'm out of here. You coming, Fab?

    SFR: For you? Always.

    Skögul: Bye, Bill, you won't be seeing us.

    Well, they're gone. [and so are you -Ed.] So... I guess that's it for this week? Do we need to find some more contributors now? I'm sure I can manage on my own, but until we get this sorted out, it's goodbye from me. Enjoy this week's matches!



    Spoiler: Week 1
    Show
    KO! Magazine

    Back by Default

    By Bill Moroni

    Greetings, Blood Bowl fans, and welcome back for another exciting season in the GITP league! We've sure missed you during the off-season, and we hope you missed us too!

    S. "Fab" Rickas: Doesn't seem likely, does it.

    Of course, I'm very pleased to welcome back our veteran Blood Bowl correspondents, S. "Fab" Rickas and Skögul!

    Skögul: Sadly, this is still the best job we can get in this economy.

    Let's start by taking a look over some of the events in the off-season. Firstly, what do you two make of this story about Leriel and the Die Valkyrie cheerleader squad?

    SFR: I'm shocked. I can't believe it.

    Skögul: Really? It sounds exactly like the sort of thing Leriel would do.

    SFR: No, I mean, I'm shocked that this story's been printed and Leriel hasn't sued them yet. Maybe he is dead after all.

    Well, according to the rosters this season, Beyond Entropy are being coached by Leriel's ghost. Any truth to that, do you think, or is it just a cheap ploy to jump the waiting list for new teams?


    Skögul: I wouldn't put anything past Leriel. And, before you say anything, Bill, Leriel never "put anything past" me either.

    SFR: Apart from a P45, it seems.

    Skögul: Bite me.

    So what does this mean for the girls of Die Valkyrie?

    Skögul: Well, I know some of them have got coaching jobs with other teams, or gone on to play for minor league teams. One or two of them have gone into modelling.

    SFR: I heard Fredo say something the other day about all the proceeds from his latest single going to Skeggjöld.

    An alimony cheque, do you think?

    SFR: All I know on the subject is that Fredo's lawyers are even better than Leriel's, if you catch my drift.

    Well, we might have a better idea of what's going after this week, since Beyond Entropy are playing your old team, Fab. Which way are you going to call that?

    SFR: Well, obviously the Sabres are a much better team at this point in their development. Three of their four blitzers are veterans, they've got two genuine stars on the roster, and that's not counting Seb and the catchers.

    Skögul: On the other hand, Beyond Entropy are being paid a small fortune to appear in this match at all. If it is Leriel coaching them, he tends to make great use of that sort of money in the days leading up to the match.

    SFR: There's also a big gap in experience in the Sabres' roster. They don't have any veteran linemen, and if Fernand goes down they're reliant on a rookie thrower.

    Skögul: Better than no thrower at all, like at times last season.

    We've also got our two elf teams taking each other on this week.

    Skögul: Again, the Quest are a much better team on paper, but if they get some training in their pointy-hatted cousins have a good chance.

    SFR: The Quest aren't the same team they were, either. From their peak last season they're missing their best thrower and arguably their best catcher, and they've only got one wardancer too.

    Skögul: They do still have some quality players, of course, including Bloomberg, but their passing game isn't nearly as potent as it has been.

    SFR: Rampant Professionalism have the potential to develop into the best passing team in the league. It would be a novelty to see a team beat the Johnnys in the air.

    The other matchup that caught our eye was Blind Faith against Nature's Guardians. What do we think there?

    SFR: The Guardians are going to steamroller Blind Faith. Norse teams are always at their best at the start of a season, before injury and alcoholism take their toll.

    Skögul: Sessrumnir and Niflheimr give the Guardians a serious advantage, too. Blind Faith don't have anything to stop them, and no spare cash to develop any options.

    SFR: The Norse are a bit vulnerable to being beaten up by the ogres, but if they can weather that, they should feast on the lightly-armoured Snotlings, and then they can gang up on the ogres and drag them down one by one. We could end up with relatively few players left on the pitch by the second half, but the remaining Guardians players are likely to be rather better.

    I'll just have to ask, who do we see lifting the cup this year?


    SFR: I think if Beyond Entropy hit their stride, they'll be a force to be reckoned with. Feets Reloaded can't be discounted either. Otherwise, probably the Heroes.

    Skögul: Outrageous Cretaceous are the best Lizardman team the league's ever had, so they could take everyone by surprise. If the Shadow can keep their management they also have a really good chance, and the Quest are safe bets to be in the mix by the end of the season. But there are several rookie teams who it's difficult to assess at this stage.

    That's it from us for this week. Enjoy this week's matches!
    Last edited by Aedilred; 2013-12-26 at 07:58 PM.
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  8. - Top - End - #8
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    Default Re: GitP Blood Bowl Manager Cup - Season IV [Matches, Standings, and Schedule]

    The Crooked Peak Chronicler

    THE ONLY DWARVEN NEWSPAPER CURRENTLY KNOWN TO HUMANS

    Bribes and the Other teams

    Coach Clarkson of our team has requested that we publish two different things this week.

    Bribes
    I personally do not condone the usage of bribes to single out targets. The team will injure who they do, and nothing anyone can do will change that. Yet twice this season they have cropped up. The first was against ogres, started by an ogre. He didn't like losing his spotlight and the bounty was capitalized on twice before it was shut down, due to a combination of lack of funding from that team, and the fact that the ogre who started it received a career ending injury. The second is far worse. It was started just this week because of Waity Darkbeard's stellar running abilities, by the coach of the runner who has run the furthest since the first game of the season. Due to some random happenstance prior to the game Xi-Li was placed on the sidelines by his own coach. Waity's running last game propelled him into first for yards run for the year, and Tyrantis placed this bounty out of spite. I felt it necessary to counteract this, and wound up placing my bounty on Xi-Li. Again, I don't condone the use of bounties, but due to this and some conversation with Tyrantis both bounties shall be rescinded after this week.

    The competition
    I'd like to take some time now to sum up my feelings on the other teams in the Giantitp league.

    Outrageous Cretaceous
    This team is hot. They have the (now) second best runner here, and a solid front line. They've been doing well so far this season, but I think that inflated Value will be the end of them come time for eliminations. That said, they pretty much have a guaranteed shot at making eliminations.

    The Drakenhof Returned
    I'm still annoyed that we couldn't beat these guys, but that was before Waity managed to break out. A good all around team, but their runners need to either become slipperier or get tougher. Otherwise they won't last till eliminations.

    Rampant Professionalism
    The league's premier passing team. These guys are going to go far. And pass far as well. Their military issued armor will allow them to stick around into more games, and this team is the one that worries me the most. I think this team is going to win it all, sending Houlio off with his second championship trophy.

    The Shadow
    This team... got so lucky. They played us before I had any idea what I was doing, and came out on top. If we replayed now, I'm confident that the end would be very different. They're still a solid team, but they seem to be dropping off a bit. I'd love to have a rematch against them in final so I hope they continue doing well. They have the tools they need to accomplish this so maybe it's my turn to get lucky.

    Crooked Peak
    Assuming nothing happens in these next few matches I think we'll make eliminations, but that last match of the season worries me. Other than that, I'm keeping tight lipped.

    Blind Faith
    How in the world did these guys wind up tied for the third send from Division A? They hit their groove middle of the first half and wrecked a few teams. Unfortunately for NobodyMuch, his six Ogres no longer seem to be hitting things, so whether they stay in this slot is kind of iffy. If they do make it to finals, I think they'll be knocked out in the first round.

    Feets Reloaded
    Very scary. So scary. We got incredibly lucky in this past match with them, and I hope to not have to play them EVER again. Their defense is so solid a mouse couldn't get through. Their offense... is kind of lacking right now, but once those gutter runners get some time behind them it'll be so very scary. Kowen could probably defeat a team on his own. Maybe they'll get knocked down out of playoff contention, but I see it as them vs Rampant Pros for the finals

    Nature's Guardians
    Sessrumnir. If we can take out him in our match against this team next week they don't have a team. Not much else to say right now.

    The Johnnie's Quest
    The only loss I think we actually deserve. They are an excellent team when they find their stride, but they can't keep it. They could do very well, if they could find a way to become less swingy.

    Hellbug's Heroes
    I really hope that our last match of the season against these guys doesn't matter one way or another, just because they could very easily just take injure the entire team, right before finals. Hell, if this match decides whether or not we get into contention for the Crud Cup I probably won't be playing the entirety of the team.

    Red Sabres
    Come on! This is the team that won the Cup in the first season? Sure doesn't look like it! You're currently on a path to do even worse than you did last season, and for a team with roots like yours that's abominable! Find some way to get your act together, and give the league one last bang before you fade out!

    Bloodknights
    I hope you guys manage to get your act together. I thought fireing Valerie was supposed to give Derk more of a chance to shine, but from that last game it looks more like your thralls are doing the work. Not saying that's a bad thing, but Vampires are a lot better at pretty much everything than Thralls.

    Beyond Entropy
    Entropy Time is hilarious. I might not be able to understand the storyline, but it's hilarious. I'm not certain if you can salvage this season, but good luck in future ones.

    Thank you for reading.

    Spoiler: Week 9
    Show
    How Waity spent All-Star Week

    Though he was not involved in the All-Star Week Festivities Waity Darkbeard was still active. Some may recall that two weeks ago Crooked Peak managed to defeat Blind Faith in what some have come to call "A complete and utter beatdown." (I just did. So there)

    For some reason Waity got together a few other Dwarves without much else to do during the week to create a band, releasing their first single in an impressive 36 hours. It's still undergoing fine-tuning, but the refrain and first verse are next to nailed down.

    Waity
    The dwarf they call Waity!
    He gave to nobody and he stole from himself
    Stood up to the ogre and he ran in one more
    Our love for him now ain’t hard to explain
    The hero of Peak, the dwarf they call Waity!

    Now, Waity saw the Ogres slamming Blockers
    And he saw the Ogre’s body slam
    And he saw Blind Io KOing
    Every Blocker, and clearing the Field
    So he said “You can’t do that to my team
    Can’t crush ‘em under your chest”
    So Waity picked up the ball,
    And in five seconds flat scored twice before Blind Io could blink.

    He gave to nobody and he stole from himself
    Stood up to the ogre and he ran in one more
    Our love for him now ain’t hard to explain
    The hero of Peak, the dwarf they call Waity!


    It's not exactly the most subtle song is it?

    In the upcoming week the dwarves of Crooked peak will be sparing against the Skaven of Feets Reloaded. Waity will be forced to show some incredible ball-handling without the wizard and Bloodweiser Babe he's grown accustomed to. Indeed rumor has it that Reloaded will be the ones with the inducement cash in this coming match. How Coach Clarkson will handle this is unknown, but we can bet it has to do with relying heavily on Waity.


    Spoiler: Week 7
    Show
    Ogre Bounty about to be capitalized upon

    Apparently one of the teams is sponsoring a bounty on Ogres. Clarkson tells me that "I'm planning on coming out of this week with an immense of money, even if we don't win. Fully expect to see a lot of red letters next to the team list at the end of the week.

    Hopefully Twitchy will do well, or Happy will manage to continue what he started last week. We're banking on Waity to win this game again, but I'm not losing to those bumbling idiots. I'll take a tie, but if we lose there's going to be a few issues in the locker room after the game."

    I know that everyone hopes to see the team come out of the first half of the season at at least a 50% win rate.


    Spoiler: Week 6
    Show
    Turning our thoughts toward home

    Despite the massive amounts of failure the Crooked Peak Dwarves have faced over the past few weeks, we've experienced issues here at home. For some reason we've had issues between the three clans coming from the Clan that Conquered Trees, and to a lesser extent the Alehammers. The CTCT's big issue was the fact that they only had three representatives on the team to the other two clan's four. Both the Alehammers and the CTCTs were annoyed about the fact that Clarkson seemed to be relying the most on two representatives from the Darkbeards. Coach Clarkson released this:

    In an effort to keep the faith of our backers back home, I've decided to hire a fourth member of the Clan that Conquered Trees. With hope, he'll do well, and everyone can stop accusing me of favoritism.

    Spoiler: Week 5
    Show
    The enemy is no longer already dead! Rejoice

    For some reason after last week's game Coach Clarkson allowed me to speak with Waity Darkbeard.

    Seems like the game went well. Not only did you score a touchdown, but you also managed to throw a pass to fellow runner Boomy Darkbeard. How do you feel after that stellar game?

    "That game went well, but what about the season? That's been the only match we managed to get points on the board! This isn't like back home. One point does not win the game."

    That's for certain. But what was with the outlandish playstyle? Throwing the ball instead of running it? And catching the other team's throws? Talk about outlandish!

    "Coach just spent the week having me throw the ball. Not sure what we're up against this week, but I've heard it's some elves! If that's so, I'm not certain what the plan is."

    I hope you show those Pointy Ears who's boss. Good luck.


    Spoiler: Week 4
    Show
    Three undead teams in a row. Getting tired.

    By: Reporty Darkbeard
    Translated by: Linguist Glibtongue

    Well, everyone saw it. The Dwarves from the Peak failed yet again. No one was injured, though so there's a plus. We don't really have any information, as Coach Clarkson barred us from speaking with any team members. He said one thing as he knocked me over on his way to the locker room after the game. "How did we lose that?" Apparently the game was one we should have won.

    This week we're facing off against a family of Vampires and their Thralls. I'm sure everyone remembers two winters ago when we were beset upon by a group of vampires. Even though the team didn't pack any stakes I'm sure they'll take that training to heart.

    I'm off to stand on the sidelines to actually get some information on this game. Thank you for reading.


    Spoiler: Week 3
    Show
    Why another undead team? Didn't we get enough two weeks ago?

    By: Reporty Darkbeard
    Translated by: Linguist Glibtongue

    Just two weeks ago we saw the Dwarves of Crooked Peak enter the Hallowed halls of those that lost their first match as a part of the GitP League. We have spoken with Coach Clarkson about the loss.

    "I have to say, I expected that. Wasn't much I could do either. This game that's coming up though, expect big changes. I spent the week working exclusively with Waity, and that will hopefully be enough to put some points on the board."

    We then spoke to him about his alleged foray into gambling.

    "Well. That's something that I'm just not willing to talk about. Suffice to say, it won't happen again, or if it does, I'll make sure the press doesn't hear about it."

    We then asked him about what he had done with Waity over the week.

    "Mind your own business. That's top secret."

    Thank you for reading.


    Spoiler: Week 1
    Show
    Crooked Peak Dwarves square off against Undead Monstrosities. Sarcastically shout "Turn Undead" from the sidelines

    By: Reporty Darkbeard
    Translated by: Linguist Glibtongue

    As the team from Crooked Peak strides onto the field for their first match against plebs, one can't help but stare in awe. They seem so self assured, so strong. Then they stand in a line.

    I spoke with Coach Clarkson before the team arrived, and he seemed upbeat. "I fully expect to see the team roll over their first opponent. I spent some time last year watching the plebs preform, and to me the team has what it takes to win every game. For those really hard games, we always have this on standby." At this point he pats a large object hidden under a tarp. "I fully expect to bring a trophy home in 15 weeks. The only thing that might give us trouble is teams that Huck the ball around a lot.

    With the front line our Dwarves provide us, those undead won't have a shot at making it through, and they aren't a passing team, so I'm confidant in our abilities to pull off a win in this first battle.

    Hi Mom. Toldya I would get into the newspaper one day!"

    The Coach is predicting a win, the team is still standing in a line, and the two Guards Standy and Guardy are glaring at me. Thanks for reading.
    Last edited by Clarkson; 2013-12-05 at 10:30 PM.
    Crooked Peak Seasons IV-V: 11/8/4 Cup Semifinalist, Cup Quarterfinalist, Coach of the losing All-star team (Season V)
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    Legends of Jam Season VII: 6/3/2 Winner of the Longball Derby, Division B Champion, Cup Semifinalist

  9. - Top - End - #9
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    Default Re: GitP Blood Bowl Manager Cup - Season IV [Matches, Standings, and Schedule]

    Cretaceous Periodical
    News on a Mesozoic scale

    Hosted by Tzaboq of Zlatan

    Welcome back Blood Bowl fans to another installment of Cretaceous Periodical. Returning to the set is Orc Blitzer Heathecliff and in place of Palidos this week, who is currently working off some debts to Goblin Gambling, we're privileged to have ex-Rampage! Blitzer Valaskjalf, once billed as the most deadliest player in the league.

    Valaskjalf: Aye, good to be 'ere, skinky.

    Heathecliff: At least we have a respectable guest instead of that Elf.

    Speaking of Elves, the results of the Elven derby came to a bit of a shock result as the veteran Quest were shut out by the rookie High Elves of Houlio's Rampant Professionalism. Signs of the Quest reverting to their Season II form?

    Heathecliff: Too early to tell yet. The Quest cut some of their experienced players and only have four proper veteran players left on the squad. While I distaste the notion of it, they could spring back to last season's winning form after a few matches.

    Valaskjalf: Well, teh Wood Elves are up 'gainst teh Cretaceous, Hellbug Heroes, and Teh Shadow in dere next tree games. Dy needs to be careful 'gainst teh brawlin' teams of OC and Heroes or dey won't have much rosta ta use.

    Heathecliff: While a valid point, the Quest only lost to two brawling teams last season - Noxtlan Narcissists near the beginning of the year, and my Lads in the playoffs before they ran through to a well deserved cup victory. Speed might be a better choice over power.

    And on the topic of running, the Skinks of the OC showed why you can't take the Lizardmen Empire lightly as sleeper Xl-li ran for a brace of TDs last Tuesday and "Thunder" Sessrumnir returned to his form with a brace as well. How will their form progress through the new season.

    Valaskjalf: No doubts Sessrumnir will keep puttin' points up, lest teh Blood Bowl Gods end his life on teh pitch of battle.

    Heathecliff: Sessrumnir is a legendary scorer through all four season of the league, no one's stopped him yet but his manager drinking into a coma. Xl-li's break-out was more sudden than expected, but keep in mind star skink Tenghui was KO'd in the early rounds of the match by a vicious, vampiric smackdown. As long as Tlaxankha and Tenghui are on their stupid legs, Xl-li might not see the ball very often, or they become the best big three currently in the league.

    I certainly wouldn't mind seeing a Lizardmen take-over, but that's my bias. Tomorrow, we have the Clash in Sylvania between rookie teams The Shadow and Drakenhof Returned, Crow making another return this year with Feets Reloaded as rookie manager Trivino looks to spoil his season debut, and a nicely-shaping up game between the Heroes and the Bloodknights. Starting with the Undead battle, what do you expect to be the tipping point in this match-up of even teams?

    Valaskjalf: Whichever corpses still haff teh most guts.

    Heathecliff: Quite right. We'll see Shadow Flesh Golems doing over time against the Drakenhof Mummies, and then it comes down to who's Wight and who's Werewolf. Given the history, Werewolves tend to win out, but I wouldn't be surprised if Drakenhof manages a draw or even a victory.

    Chances of that happening between Feets and Guardians?

    Valaskjalf: Only real shot of a Guardian win is teh Lightning strikin' and boomin' Thunder down da field! Crow's gots his decent sturmvermin from Treeple-S, but cans dey stop Sessrumnir 'n Niflheimr?

    Heathecliff: If you look at last year, no, but Triple-S were still fledgling rat pups. These Skaven are all grown-up and can give the Norsemen a run for their points if they're not careful.

    Valaskjalf: Teh Norse will beat down teh ratlings n' serve 'em with mead. Only proper.

    And to finish out our notable list of games, Heroes and Bloodknights. Heroes were held by the Drakenhof last week while the Bloodknights were bled dry against the Lizardmen. Can the Vampires bounce back from last week?

    Heathecliff: If the Vampires can't beat the stupid Lizards, what chance have they got against another brawler team?

    Valaskjaf: Vampires gots speed and deys got throw. Heroes will have to beat 'em down to teh ground if they don't want a defeat to teh Counts like last year.

    Heathecliff: I think the Heroes can negate those early on with some well-placed blows to the line, but we'll see.

    Indeed we will, and I'll be guest calling the game.

    Heathecliff: Gork & Mork help us.

    Maybe they can help you, but I'll only need Sotek. That's it from us, join us for another episode of Cretaceous Periodical next week. Today's episode was sponsored by Mountain Brew - Mountain Brew, this is how we brew.

    Spoiler: Week 1
    Show
    Hello ogres and ghouls and welcome to another season of the Blood Bowl! During the off-season, we renovated out a secret ruins in Lustria and set-it up to be a news studio of sorts. Today we're joined by Season I and Season II Orc Blitzer Heathecliff and Tinwe United Catcher Palidos Samôn. Seven new teams this year, how do you think the rookies will perform among the veterans?

    Heathecliff: I like the looks of the Nature's Guardians, the Norsemen going big by getting Thunder and Lightning. Should restart their careers.

    PS: I agree, it'll be good to be under a manager that doesn't get drunk and forget to show up for games, such Barbarians. If pre-season means anything, our first Chaos Pact team Beyond Entropy will be a offensive nightmare under the undead Leriel. Shame about the Valkyrie, we'll lose a good portion of our Kabalvision viewers just from them tuning in to see those Amazon beauties. We all know how much Tzaboq liked the Amazons.

    The Apothecary gave me a lot of painkillers and forgot I got cut. Still managed to get an autograph from Göll.

    PS: Anyways, we have Rampant Professionalism-

    Heathecliff: Don't go any further about the pansy Elves.

    PS: You're just mad you lost in Season II to United.

    Who will be the best breakout team of the rookies?

    PS: Going by previous seasons, The Shadow. Necromantic managers tend to rot away being dead themselves, but maybe this year we'll see a third consecutive season with Werewolves tearing up the pitch. Feets Reloaded could go far with Crow signing several of his Skaven from And the El-

    Heathecliff: Nature's Guardians still. You just can't deny the talent of their big signings, forget everyone else on that team as long as Thunder and Lightning regain form. Beyond Entropy too because they punch hard.

    It's the first year we have an all-Undead and Ogre team. How do you like their chances?

    PS: The Undead are pitiful on defense and will have to rely on Varrick and Markus the mummies to beat down linemen. Four Ghouls and Two Wights will help them play as rushers and keep them in games. Ogres, well...

    Heathecliff: The Ogres will suffer from their fragile Snotlings and slow speed. If they can get organized, they could get some wins, but I'm not very sure they'll put many points up.

    Outrageous Cretaceous plays the Bloodknights, which you may remember as the game Tenghui ran 2 TDs for a record 112 yards and the OC lost 3 skinks. Think we'll have a repeat?

    PS: The Vampires have improved their throwing, which the Lizards have been weak against in the past. I'll give the win to the Bloodknights if Valerie and Derk link up.

    Heathecliff: Disagree, going with the stupid Lizards. Just smart enough to know how to pick up a ball and run, Tenghui and Tlaxankha just need an opening to squeeze through and they're gone. Plus the Sauruses are better developed on defense than the Vampires that pass out from blood lust if they can't find a team mate to drain. That other skink Xl-li could be another break-out runner this year like he started to be near the end of last season.

    Johnnys Quest and Rampant Professionalism have the Elven Derby in the first week. Can Houlio's new team have an upset, Palidos?

    PS: Slim and highly doubtful. I'd put my money on Quest everyday of the week and twice on Tuesday.

    That's all the time we have for this week in the Cretaceous Periodical. Today's episode was sponsored by Orcidas- Orcidas, just kill it.
    Last edited by TheTyrantis; 2013-10-14 at 02:04 AM.
    Forget the promise of progress and understanding, for in the grim darkness of the far future there is only war. There is no peace amongst the stars, only an eternity of carnage and slaughter, and the laughter of thirsting gods.

    Talabheim Eagles (Human)
    Season 6: 3-3-2
    Season 5: 8-2-1 Division A Champs, Cup Champions!

    Outrageous Cretaceous (Lizardmen) 13-4-8
    Season 4: 7-1-4 Division A Champs, Cup Quarterfinalist
    Season 3: 6-3-4 Cup Quarterfinalist

  10. - Top - End - #10
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    Default Re: GitP Blood Bowl Manager Cup - Season IV [Matches, Standings, and Schedule]

    Dead is no excuse for not Reading
    This Weeks Article: The Final Countdown

    The Shadow come to the Tournament in sorry shape since their five win streak in the First half of the season. Favored by none and predicted to be destroyed in the first round, the Shadow are keyed up for an upset at the end of the season.

    Feets Reloaded is a skilled team, but the Shadow are still formidable, despite not preforming significantly well in any category and not having more than two players in the top rankings. The Shadow should watch out for Kowen, the star of the team and the favorite for MVP of the season, lest he score them into obscurity.

    The Shadow still has advantages. It isn't every day that you see a Wight with scoring potential, much less a capability to pass, though he has made no attempts to use the latter, to the dismay of coach Garphor. The werewolves are also still potent foes, especially the one known as Skoll, who has a strong arm behind his claws.

    Spoiler
    Show
    Heroes and Shadows - Garphor Drinfan Annie Nonimous.

    This would be a wonderful week for a comeback for the Shadow I think. A wonderful time to prove to the rest of the league that the Shadow isn't a dead team, waiting to be buried, but instead shall rise up as the Undead they truly(Mostly) are! A superb week, I think, for some change.

    However, the dashing, horrifically sexy coach of the Shadow will try once more for his coveted passing game this week, again trying to instill some semblance of diversity on the one trick team, since the Ghouls started going on strike and Grond was put out injured. The tools are all there, the team must simply get them in the right order for a win.

    Hellbug's Heroes might be tough. The roughest team in the league by all standards in fact, but the Shadow can take a hit and keep on coming, it's the nature of their game that not even mortal wounds can be trusted to keep the majority of the team from reentering the pitch on the next drive.

    Spoiler
    Show
    We will not slip silently into the night.

    This week it's all or nothing, the last gasp of a desperate team, perhaps to gain some air and clear some room for an eleventh hour resurgence. The naysayers at "Murder!" are, of course, calling the Shadow a dead team, but, of course, that's exactly what it is. Likewise the coach of Crooked Peak is calling the first victory of The Shadow a fluke, trying vainly to capitalize, publicity-wise, on the recent failure of the team.

    With the Inducements and staff available this week, The Shadow means to outmaneuver the OC in a final division smackdown, winner takes most, no holds barred beatdown. All the stops are being thrown to make sure that The Shadow score as much as possible, and unlike last week's disaster with the Sabre Catcher, the Shadow will be utilizing a werewolf this week for it's catching job. What will come of it, no one can say.

    Spoiler
    Show
    This weeks victory, I daresay, was only slightly less disgraceful than the defeats of the previous weeks. Assuredly, we destroyed them utterly in the scoring elements, but where was the Shadow's capability to defeat the physicality of Entropy? Yes, they inflicted a single casualty with minimal damage, but what of our comrades? Siegfried won't play but one more game in the league, and while no doubt he will replace one of the abysmal, capitalist assistant coaches, who will replace him on the pitch? He did not get second in the Snotling Derby for nothing of course. I fear for the continued success of the team.

    In other news, the Shadow has shelled out money in the horrid, corrupt venture they call "Player swap week" in order to gain access to a human catcher. Humans, I shall remind you, selfishly horde their vital organs (most importantly their braaai- excuse me) well unto death, most of the time letting the precious vitals rot in the ground. Wasteful, and typical of their capitalist system. The Shadow's gambit with the passing game shows far too much potential for being embarrassed by the only capitalists worse than humans, High Elves, as the Shadow goes against Rampant Professionalism this week.

    Spoiler
    Show
    What happened to the Shadow? - Tina Fey

    Through the collective shame of the last couple of weeks, this week shines as a pearly gem of miserableness. Lost to a team whose coach has gone completely missing? Seriously? The Shadow's coach has a lot to answer for, and seems entirely unwilling to do so, however, to serve the purpose, we plan to interview, once again, Siegfried Von Richthofen.

    But first, why are the Shadow losing? We couldn't tell you, but we suspect that it's because they're simply not capitalizing on their opportunity. It isn't because of injury, obviously, but it just as clearly isn't a problem of their defensive capability. The problem, obviously, is the offense.

    The writing team here hopes sincerely that the problem is momentary, a small hiccup in an otherwise fantastic season, but should it not turn out that way, there may be a bit of an inquisition. Now for our interview.

    Siegfried - I ****ING TOLD YOU. YOU DIDN'T LISTEN TO ME.

    Tina - "I'm sorry, what?"

    Siegfried - YOU WERE ABOUT TO ASK ME ABOUT HOW WE'RE LOSING. I WENT AHEAD AND ANSWERED FOR YOU.

    Tina - "Uh, I was actually just about to ask you what you thought about Garphor's coaching."

    Siegfried - DID I STUTTER OR SOMETHING? THE TEAM IS AWFUL, THE COACH IS AWFUL, AND I TOLD YOU THAT FROM THE START.

    Tina - "Oh come on, you're not doing as badly as it seems."

    Siegfried - I THINK WE ARE. YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY? WELL, WE'VE GOT NO COHERENCE, WE'RE A MOTLEY BAND OF DEAD AND PARTIALLY-DEAD THINGS WHO'VE GOT NO SENSE OF COOPERATION. AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THE COACH. ABYSMAL.

    Tina - "Well, that does answer most of the questions I've got here..."

    Siegfried - OH GOOD, I'M LEAVING.

    Tina - "Wait! Hey... Well, I guess that ends this interview."
    Spoiler
    Show
    This week's special: Mid Season Report, "The Shadow"

    Now that the status quo has been restored in the office, though another defeat has been bestowed, we are prepared to put forth a mid season report.

    Offensive capability: The Shadow's running game is stellar, what with the two ghouls and two werewolves, it's hard to really keep them out of your backfield, however, once they're back there they're relatively easy to smash, especially the ghouls. They also don't have any options aside from those four, which bring them down significantly.

    Verdict: 7 out of 10.

    Defensive capability
    : Paired with their rather nice offense is a good stack of defending players, four in particular. The wights and Flesh Golems are extremely important in preventing other teams from bashing their way through, as well as keeping those dodgy little Elves from getting their way. However, Zombies are slow, too slow.

    Verdict: 6 out of 10

    Killer instinct: It's hard to beat werewolves in sheer ferocity, and The Shadow's pair are no exception, even if they just got a new one. Put that on top of the weights and the Flesh Golems, and you've got a potent team.

    Verdict: 7 out of 10.

    Composure: From what we've seen, The Shadow either rock the stadium or fall apart near the very end, it's not a pretty sight.

    Verdict: 3 out of 10.

    Final: 6 out of 10. The Shadow owned the league for the first five weeks, but now sit at third-and-falling. Where most analysts put them at possibly winning the league before, most neglect to mention them making it to the last game nowadays.

    Spoiler: Last week
    Show
    This week's top article - Title goes here.

    Uhm, I'm not sure what to write here. I guess I'm supposed to give news or something right? Right.

    So uh, the Shadow got beat by Ogres. A manhunt has begun for the coach but they're not finding him I guess? A general manager was tied to a pole and they threatened to burn him for a bit but that fell through I think. It was kinda sad.

    Anyways, they're going up against Skaven now. I don't think many fans are confident about it, most of the staff here have gone AWOL, I think they might be mourning, or maybe hunting down Garphor? I don't know. I'm a ****ing accountant. I think the Skaven are faster but The Shadow has some advantage in their hitting power I guess. It all really comes down to who scores more though so that doesn't really matter. Besides, being beaten by Ogres is just bad, I don't care how good Blind Faith are doing.

    Spoiler
    Show
    Shadow Rattles Sabres - Theodore the Vast

    In another unexpected win, the Shadow pulled a 2-1 victory away against the Red Sabres, whose superior versatility was projected to topple the Shadow's relatively limited offensive and defensive abilities. This victory puts The Shadow back on the top of the leaderboard with a record of 4-1.

    The victory came at a hefty cost however, Werewolf Grond retired just yesterday after injuries suffered during the match came to her attention while she was more prepared for logical comprehension. Also retiring was "All Dead" Arnold whose replacement cost The Shadow the last of the money in their treasury. "All Dead" has been offered a position on the writing staff.

    When the coach became available for comment he simply stated, "It's a good thing we didn't spend any of those earnings on anything."

    This week The Shadow shall be facing off against Ogre team "Blind Faith" who while rather consistent in losing, have succeeded in beating the most feared team in the league. The coach plans to take no chances, giving the team every opportunity to come out of this match spotless, having no money for replacements except what they earn this week.

    The Shadow's biggest asset is their werewolves, obviously, for their speed and maneuverability against the relatively slow Ogres. Their opponents, however, have a definite advantage in hitting power, which will most likely lead to The Shadow fielding less than 11 players by the end of the game.

    Spoiler
    Show
    Shadow handed defeat by team with no wins - Kerdrake von Liechtenstein

    In a stunning turn this week the Shadow, the only undefeated team remaining in the week going into day four, was defeated handily by Johnny's Quest, a team which going into week four had no wins at all. Few predicted the loss, including, it seems, the coach, Garphor Drinfan, who was seen outside the stadium after the game throwing quite the enraged rant at a pile of dirt nearby. Psychological examinations have revealed that this is just something he does from time to time so he doesn't end up getting stabbed by someone much meaner than him.

    And this week is looking far more bleak, coming off of their first defeat the Shadow is being thrown against The Red Sabres, an experienced Human team who have just tied Hellbug's Heroes, the most expensive team in the entire league. If the Shadow pulls off a win this week it will truly be a stroke of luck.

    (Sorry for the short article this week guys, I'm at MEPS right now and can't really get anything better in. If any of you read this,anyways.)

    Spoiler: The Previous week
    Show
    This week's Top Article: Shadow continues streak against Vampires - Kerdrake von Liechtenstein

    The Shadow unexpectedly dominated the seemingly helpless Bloodknights this week, their opponents handicapped by their inability to surmount their lust for blood. There were some who predicted victory for The Shadow, but there were none who predicted the Three-to-Zero shutout that it turned into.

    Unfortunately, it's not all Stormclouds and Formaldehyde for the necromantic team this week, as they lost team captain Siegfried von Richthofen to an unfortunate rib injury caused by a peeved Vampire punching straight through his breastplate and causing his ribs to bounce around in his armor for a short time, which will keep him out this week as he gradually puts himself back together from scratch. The Igor couldn't help him with that one, that's for sure.

    This week though, will certainly be a change of pace for the Necromantic Nightmare. They've not as yet faced a team which focus' on the sissy-nanny cowardice of strategic victory, but this week they face the Kings of Sissy-nannydom themselves, Wood Elves. The specific team in question is Johnny's Quest, a team which hasn't won a game this entire season, but on the other hand, has been playing teams with far more experience than the rookie Shadow. The Wood Elves, while outwardly quite weak, actually have more total strength than their opponents this week, and are slippery besides, it is certainly going to be difficult for the less versatile Necromantic to catch the elves at a mistake.

    Spoiler: Week 3
    Show
    "Shadow Shines in Sylvania Showdown"
    The Shadow defeated fellow post mortem team "The Drakenhof Returned" this week in a long and drawn out battle which resulted in three points being scored and few injuries, this puts The Shadow in second place in the division as well as one of two teams who can say that they have won each match. Wights on both sides grinned ceaselessly the entire match (Note, this might be because they have no skin to hide their jaws.)

    However, it is dubious if this will continue, the Shadow now faces their toughest opponent yet this season, The Bloodknights, an experienced team of Vampires who, though they haven't won a game yet, will certainly give our favorite Necromantic team a run for their money.

    Speaking of money, The Shadow is bringing in the largest volume of Inducements this week, which given that the predictions have already been made out as a tie, might just spin the dice in their favor if the coach makes the right decisions with them.

    Despite the skill of the Vampires themselves, they have the disadvantage that all Vampire teams inevitably have, and that is that they sometimes get a bit, hungry let's say, on the field. This is a definite mitigating factor in the effectiveness of what would otherwise be the most terrifying player on the pitch, but they are still extremely dangerous. It will again be up to the speed of the werewolves to carry the day against the strong and fast vampires.

    Spoiler: Week 2
    Show
    "Dwarves Dwarfed in Dwarf vs. Necromatic match."

    This Week we watched Dwarven rookies "Crooked Peak" lose their first match against none other than up-and-coming Necromatic team "The Shadow". The first half of the match was rough for our friendly neighborhood undead scourge, resulting in a severe injury for the Ghoul, Beater. However, the Shadow came off the bench ready to play the second half, scoring twice on their foes for their very first shutout and win of the cup.

    This is in direct contrast to the prediction of their Co-Captain, Baron Richthofen.

    However, next week we have fellow undead favorites and Undead Team, "The Drakenhof Returned" facing The Shadow in an early season showdown to determine which team setup is superior for the purpose of winning cups.

    We asked analyst and coorespondant Ahate Malife visit us to tell us what he expected from the match-up.

    "Now look, we've all heard it, and most people believe it. Werewolves turn a decent team into a game winner with their speed and ferocity. But what of the other undead setups? The main difference between Undead and Necromatic aside from the werewolves is the presence of Mummies on the Undead side. These hulking undead creatures are very strong, stronger even than Flesh Golems, but they're even slower than the aforementioned weaker creatures. So, which will win in this fight, the faster Necromatic, or the Stronger Undead? Well, personally, I think the Undead. I've put money on them in fact, but that's just me."

    We'll see how well that works out for him.

    Spoiler: Last Week
    Show
    Dead is no excuse for not Reading
    This weeks top article, "Oh no, Necromatic again?"

    In this weeks article we cover the appearance of The Shadow, a Necromatic Team which is appearing now in the Giant League of Blood Bowl. But where did this new team come from? What are its chances in the new league? How will they fare against the more veteran team at the middle of their season? Why are we asking you?

    Team manager and owner, Garphor Drinfan was too busy applying stitches to a Flesh Golem the last time we visited, so we were unable to get his opinion on the subject directly, but the word is that despite the rough time he had getting the team together in the first place, he is optimistic about their chances in this league, despite the amount of opposition he's going to have, including a fellow undead based team, The Drakenhof Returned, another new addition to the league.

    Their first game is against Crooked Peak, a rookie Dwarf team. Their main advantage will be the speed and ferocity of the Werewolves, as well as the great strength of the Flesh Golems, though they display weakness their ability to take a hit and keep coming, despite the regenerative abilities of most of the team.

    This week we had the privilege of having team captain Baron Seigfried "No Relation" von Richthofen visit our newspaper.

    "So, Baron Richthofen-"

    Seigfried - I SWEAR TO EVERYTHING UNHOLY IF YOU REFER TO THE TWIT WITH THE FLYING CONTRAPTION IN THE NEXT HOUR I WILL RIP YOUR THROAT OUT.

    "I hadn't planned on it."

    Seigfried - GOOD.

    "Ahem, anyways, Baron, lets get right to the point, how do you see your team doing this season?"

    Seigfried - IT'LL F***IN' SUCK. I KNOW A S***TY BLOOD BOWL TEAM WHEN I SEE ONE.

    "... But historically speaking Necromatic teams-"

    Seigfried - DON'T GIMME THAT "HISTORICALLY SPEAKING" BULLS**T. IT'S GONNA SUCK.

    "..Well, is there someone else I can talk to about this?"

    Seigfried - COACH DOESN'T LET ANYONE TALK TO THE FLESH GOLEMS BECAUSE HE'S AFRAID THEY'LL DECIDE THAT THIS ISN'T WORTH IT AND KILL HIS ENTIRE FAMILY, NOT THAT HE HAS MUCH. WHENEVER THE WEREWOLVES WOULD BE WORTH TALKING TO THEY CAN'T TALK. AND NONE OF THE OTHERS ARE EVEN WORTH TRYING EXCEPT JAN, AND JAN HATES EVERYTHING.

    "Right..."

    That concluded the interview effectively. Will Seigfried's prediction come true? Will the team preform just as is expected from a Necromatic team? Find out the middle of this week!
    Last edited by Garphor Drinfan; 2014-01-14 at 06:02 PM.
    GitP Fantasy Blood Bowl Cup
    "The Shadow" -
    Season IV: - 6-5-1 First Round Playoffs
    Season VI: - 5-4-4

    "Who knows what Evil lurks in the hearts of men..."

  11. - Top - End - #11
    Orc in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: GitP Blood Bowl Manager Cup - Season IV [Matches, Standings, and Schedule]

    Something Stirs in Sylvania...

    It has been some time since we've reported on the GitP's premier undead Blood Bowl team, and much has happened! From relative anonymity to the head of Division B, the Returned have proven to be more than just a bunch of rookies with stars in their eyes, and the talk of Sylvania has turned to the question of: will they make it to the vaunted Playoffs?

    Or even - dare to dream - the finals?

    With the hype boiling over in the Empire's most rural province, it's time to really ask the question: can the Returned do it and go all the way? Well, to answer that question, we need to look at what's ahead first:

    Beyond Entropy

    This match-up, perhaps more than any other, poses a dire threat to the Returned's playoff dreams, if for no other reason than the offensive strength of the Chaos Pact heavyweights can do some long term and lasting damage to the newer undead. Now, that said, the rest of the team does stand a good chance at giving the chaos worshipers the gears and taking the game, as the combative nature of the Returned, coupled with the capability and proven skills of the ghoul/wight combination puts serious pressure on the Entropy squad. Likely a win for the Drakenhof, but it may be a costly one.

    Rampant Professionalism

    The superior agility of the elves is never something to disregard, but at least in this case the Returned look to make their bones (if you'll forgive the pun...). The elves will likely simply be unable to dance away from the undead for long enough, and once caught in a true block, don't stand much of a chance against the more violent-geared Sylvanians. This one looks like a solid win for our boys in grey.

    Outrageous Cretaceous

    This one doesn't look good. These lizardmen have proven themselves to be this seasons top contender for the cup, and their skill set is not something the Returned look to be in a good shape to answer. Unless there are generous level ups from the prior two games to help level the playing field, I wouldn't be bettering on the unliving for this match-up.

    Beyond that, it's hard to say. Check back as the regular season comes to a close and the cup contenders become more pronounced, and we'll see whether the smart money does indeed rest with the restless dead!

    Spoiler: Week 2
    Show
    Welcome back, Blood Bowl fans, to this week's focus article on Sylvania premier team, the Drakenhof Returned. Last week we took a brief journey with Karl Traucht as he met with various members of the team and dug into their sordid pasts to give you at home a better idea of what the Returned really were. Now that the season is underway and the Returned have had their first (not wholly unsuccessful) taste of the turf, we're going to meet a single member of the team, and get an insider's view of how things went, and what the team has in store for the future. Karl, take it away:

    Karl: Joining me today, with only a modicum of restraints, is one of the Returned's infamous ghouls: Fang. Lured away from his local graveyard haunt with the promise of only mildly rotted human meat, Fang has agreed to share his insight into the Returned for this season. Glad to have you here, Fang.

    Fang: *hiss*

    K: Yes, well, I don't think he's overly happy about the straightjacket. Or the collar. Or the muzzle. Or the chains. Which actually brings me to our first point: like your brothers (cousins?), your role on the field is a slippery one. What exactly is it that you feel you bring to the Returned's game plan?

    F: Sspeed. I likess ze ball. To ze end zone I takess it!

    K: A coherent answer!

    F: *hiss*

    K: Well that's more like it, anyway. But regardless, you did answer the question. Is it a role that you feel you epitomize for the Returned, or is it something you share with your fellow ghouls?

    F: We likess ze ball. We sserve together. Ze ball...

    K: ...okay, I'm going to interpret that as a shared role on the field then. Now last week you went up against Hellbug's Heroes, the team representing the Chaos Gods for this season; what can you tell us about that game?

    F: Chaoss sslow. Chaoss sstupid. Chaoss hurt Talon!

    K: Yes, your sibling Talon was injured by the fearsome Orgetorix, one of the hulking Chaos Warriors of the Heroes. What was that like?

    F: *hiss*

    K: That's... a fair answer actually. Overall, how did you feel the game went?

    F: Was too sslow. Needed ze ball.

    K: More possession would likely have been useful. Tell me, how did you feel the team performed?

    F: Ze mummiess need to hurt more. Ze wightss need to protect ze ghoulss!

    K: So more aggression from the bigger players?

    F: Yess...

    K: Alright, let's let that take us into our upcoming week. You face off against the Shadow, another team sporting undead players, but not quite like the Returned. What can you tell us about the difference between the two teams?

    F: Werevolvess... Golemss... No mummiess to protect zem.

    K: So you feel like they aren't as well protected as yourselves?

    F: Necromantic are fasster, but not so good in ze fightss. Zey no have enough ghoulss. Try to fight more. Win fightss lesss.

    K: Interesting take. How do you feel that the game will go?

    F: Dependss on ze mummiess and ze wightss. Zis will not be a game decided by my kin, but by ze fighterss of ze Returned.

    K: How... unusually insightful of you. Do you think Varrick and Markus will be able to hold back the golems and werewolves?

    F: If not, zen ze wightss will.

    K: Fair enough. How do you think the game will end?

    F: Drakenhof win.

    K: There you have it. From the ghoul's mouth to your ears, this is Karl Traught, signing off.


    Spoiler: Week 1
    Show
    Sylvania. Infamous homeland of the Vampire Counts. Many a time has the might of Sigmar's Empire been pitted against the unliving legions of the dead, all at the behest of their cruel and undying masters. But now, for the fourth season of the great GitP Blood Bowl Cup, the dead walk in peace... until they reach the turf!

    From shallow graves in distant Sylvania come the newest addition to the league: The Drakenhof Returned!

    To commemorate these rotting blood bowl stars-to-be, we've sent a team of rookie reporters under our very own Karl Traucht to track down the skinny on the undead players, and give us a little insight into what we can expect from the Returned this season:

    Heinrich von Krauss

    Karl: The wight now known as Heinrich von Krauss claims to once have been a nobleman of some standing in the province of Sylvania, but as it's unknown exactly when he lived or died, such facts are all but impossible to verify. What we can confirm is that von Krauss still has a haughty air of nobby snobbishness about him, and is absolutely meticulous in his habits. Don't let his well-groomed exterior fool you though, von Krauss has a temper (as one missing reporter can attest to... or could, if we could find him), and nothing gets his... er, blood(?) boiling than the thought of being back on the Blood Bowl pitch. Look to this guy for a body count; I don't think he intends to go back to his grave alone.

    Mattheus Lichenstein

    Karl: What von Krauss may lack in manners, Mattheus Lichenstein makes up for in spades. This highly eloquent and polite wight was an absolute pleasure to interview, and was delighted to share his take on the game. And I must say: it's something of a spectacle listening to Lichenstein talk about his skills and plans for the pitch; as soon as I track down exactly what "exsanguinate," "asphyxiate," and "render unto the garden eternal" mean, I should be able to give you a better idea of what he'll be up to.

    Varrick the Thrice Cursed

    Karl: Mummys have ever been an interesting bunch, given that they are most often created as guardians of, well, something. It's not known exactly what it was that Varrick was risen to stand sentinel over, but rumour has it that he has failed. In fact, his very name, "Thrice Cursed" supposedly comes from his curse in life, his curse in death, and his curse in undeath, all of which have come together to form a rather surly mummy. He rarely says more than a growled profanity, and while we weren't quite brave enough to press the irate monster for an interview, I have learned that he views the Blood Bowl pitch as his last chance at eternal vindication. That, or vengeance. Either way, Varrick will be leaving a fair few broken bodies in his wake.

    Markus the Unhallowed
    Karl: Unlike most mummys, his teammate Varrick included, Markus was never a guardian, but rather a kind of bloodhound. Mummys aren't known for their speed, but they are known to be utterly relentless, and Markus is no exception. Snarly and mean, even by undead standards, Markus lives in a state of constant rage at the desecration his corpse underwent after his death (the details of which aren't currently available), and he thoroughly enjoys hunting down and brutally pulverizing any living soul who he deems the target of his hate. If that's not the makings of a great Blood Bowl player, I don't know what is!

    The Ghouls
    Karl: Spine, Fang, Talon, and Gnaw (collectively known simply as "the ghouls") are about as civilized as your average rat ogre. They crowd together in a kind of unholy clique in the graveyard, and together they dig up and eat the bodies of the freshly dead. Any attempts at an interview were quickly dashed as they snarled together and charged at myself and my crew. We were lucky to escape without only one intern left behind. I can't saw much about these little monsters, beside the fact that they have a mean streak. It'll be interesting to see if those feral brains still have enough left in them to handle the ball.

    R.I.P.
    Karl: Um... not much to say really. Unmarked grave, second-hand armour, and about as talkative as you'd expect from someone without a jaw.

    Ghra and Hruu
    Karl: So named for their favourite sounds, the zombie brothers of the Returned are a slow moving, rather dim-witted pair. They stood like rotting statues and simply drooled during their interview, and only seemed to perk up when one of my younger associated mentioned the word "block". They may not be nimble or fast, but those buggers can move when they want to.

    Well there you have it folks, The Drakenhof Returned. This week kicks off with their inaugural game against Hellbug's Heroes. It should be an... educational experience for the newcomers.
    Last edited by Fremen; 2013-12-23 at 11:03 PM.
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  12. - Top - End - #12
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    HalflingRogueGuy

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    Default Re: GitP Blood Bowl Manager Cup - Season IV [Matches, Standings, and Schedule]

    The Predictathon Periodical

    By: Coach Clarkson

    Crooked Peak is going into the elimination rounds! Somewhere I never expected to be! I'm going to take a look at our chances against Johnny's Quest, and maybe go into some of the other matches that'll be taking place this week.

    Offense

    Crooked Peak was kind of offensively stunted at the beginning of the year, but Waity has grown into a scoring machine. If he can play like he did the last time we played elves then there shouldn't be a problem. The Johnnie's offence is troubling. In their last 5 games they've put up more points than we have this entire season. With our overall low mobility I somewhat doubt that we'll be able to do much to slow this.

    Defense

    We're going to be able to push up the middle of the field and as long as we manage to deal with Bloomberg they don't have much defense to speak of. The amount of guard we've got should be more than enough to get even odds. Their wardancers will pose a problem though, and I'm not sure how we're going to deal with them.

    Inducements

    We've got some. They don't. We have a clear advantage here. Depending on random rolls it could be very useful. Or it could fail miserably.

    Overall

    This game is going to come down to game plans and inducements. I'm not certain success in this season is in Crooked Peaks future, but I think we've got a shot.

    Spoiler: Week 1.5
    Show
    The Predictathon Periodical Post Week Wrapup

    Where we are amazed at how bad at this we are. Really bad.

    George "Ow My Head" Anderson: Welcome to the Predictathon Periodical's first Post Week Wrapup! I'm the not famous at all George "Ow My Head" Anderson, and I'm back with Elvish Blackbeard and Max Saravia who are considerably better known than I! We're here to talk about how we did this past week with our predictions of the matches in this past week. First off The Drakenhof Returned managed to tie with Hellbug's Heroes.

    Elvish Blackbeard: We knew hee haw aboot either gang. Movin` oan.

    OMH: Ok then, the next match we had The Shadow against Crooked Peak. We called a loss for the Dwarves, and lo and behold, we were right! Unfortunately for our sponsors our call was slightly off on the score.

    Max: In the interest of not having to cut of Blackbeard when his language gets bad, I'm just going to say that the first half played out exactly like we expected, with the Dwarves running around with the ball until the end of the half. The fact that they let the undead past their lines twice shows they aren't the best on defense either. Maybe they'll pick up as the season goes on.

    OMH: Wow. We called this match exactly correctly. Red Sabers won, 2-1.

    EB: A've aye git some talent fur blood bowl

    Max: Yup, and we know when a team is out of their lea- hey wait, I?

    OMH: Okay, the fourth match was between Blind Faith, and Nature's Guardians. And who decided that anyone would ever be able to put up five points against Ogres?

    Max: Even our secondary prediction was wrong. The Ogres walked away with more injuries than the Norse did!

    OMH: In the classic matchup of Outrageous Cretaceous and the Bloodknights we called a draw, and were only off by one point! Not bad!

    EB: They'll speil again, either in scrimmages or playoffs.

    Max: Yeah, this isn't the last we've seen of this rivalry.

    OMH: In the last match of the day, we called a victory for Johnny's Quest. Boy were we wrong.

    Max: The quest just got shut down in every way all through the game. The High Elves capitalized on this, and pulled off a big victory. They are a team to watch out for.

    OMH: Well, that's all the matches. We called 3 wrong, 2 right, and 1 exactly right. For a few educated guesses, along with some not so educated guesses, I'd say that's pretty good.

    Max: Thanks for joining us.


    Spoiler: Week 1
    Show
    The Predictathon Periodical

    The Predictathon Periodical is financed by:

    The CP foundation. Giving our gold to random causes since Crooked Peak was founded!
    That Smug Rich Guy we found in an alley: The Apothecaries tell us that he'll either make a full recovery, or he'll sit the entire season in a coma.
    Viewers Like You: Because what else will you do with your money?

    George "Ow My Head" Anderson: Hello, and welcome to Predictathon Periodical. I'm your host George Anderson. I'm here today with the only good player from BEER'd, Elvish Blackbeard, and Max Saravia, early defensive Star of the Iron Giants, and assistant coach of Triple-S.

    Elvish Blackbeard: Ah wid lik' tae point oot that a'm ainlie 'ere fur clarkson didnae hire me.

    Max: Why does every team I'm a part of disband?

    OMH: We're here to make some predictions about the upcoming games. We'll do this every week, and during All-Star week we'll choose our picks for finals. First off, Rampant Professionalism or The Johnnys' Quest?

    EB: Th' johnnys' quest wull steamroll ower this freish elven gang, bit it wull be a boring gam, 'n' as lang as rampant professionalism plays smart thare wilnae be ony injuries.

    OMH: Okay, so the established team will come out in on top over the new team. Anything else to add?

    Max: Well, I for one think the high elves have a chance. If they can keep their catchers open the game could end in a draw.

    Johnnys' Quest W: 3-1

    OMH: Next we have Outrageous Cretaceous up against the Bloodknights.

    Max: The issue with the Vampires is that they tend to end the game with no one else on the field. Still, if they can rack up the points early they may be able to pull off a win.

    EB: Th' oc's defense cannae be discounted. A'd say this yin cuid gang either wey, depending oan howfur quickly th' bloodknights finish aff thair thralls.

    OMH: Call it an even game then.

    Draw 1-1

    OMH: Next up is the Red Sabers against Rookies Beyond Entropy.

    EB: Beyond entropy wilnae stairt up 'til efter in th' seezin wance thay hae some cash behind thaim. That said, tis th' rid sabers. Ah cannae ca' this yin.

    Max: It'll all come down to inducements. Expect a bloody match, no matter who wins.

    Red Sabers 2-1

    OMH: The Heroes are still trying, and they're starting up against one of the undead teams The Drakenhof Returned.

    EB: Ah pure dinnae mind muckle aboot hellbug's heroes, 'n' honestly didnae fash tae dae ony research. Na scooby 'ere.

    Max: The Drakenhof Returned are an Undead Team and those have done well in the past.

    OMH: *Facepalm*

    TDR 2-1

    OMH: After that complete breakdown in predictions, we have two rookie teams, one Norse the other Ogre. Predictions?

    Max: It's Ogres. They're slow lumbering brutes who forget they're playing. And Nature's Guardians signed Thunder and Lightning. Expect a high score from the Norse, in addition to lots of Red Letters next to their names in the postgame.

    Nature's Guardians 5-0

    OMH: In our final match of the week we have the Dwarves of Crooked Peak facing The Shadow.

    Thir's na wey crooked peak kin win. A' body saw whit beer'd did, thay coudnae even git th' crud cup. Thay hae na runners, 'n' a' fur th' brainiac in charge clarkson haes a strategy. Weel he kin tak' that strategy 'n' -

    OMH: Okay, sorry Blackbeard, but we'll have to cut you off. Max, your thoughts?

    Max: Well, the dwarves are relying on a strong defense to keep the other team from scoring. But they lack any offensive punch themselves. I'd say the Shadow score one early, but Crooked Peak move slowly up the field after that, never quite making it to the touchdown zone.

    The Shadow 1-0

    OMH: Those are our picks, but remember. All losses of money, property, or body parts that occur due to following these predictions are not our fault. Thanks for watching. Have a nice evening.
    Last edited by Clarkson; 2014-01-11 at 02:32 PM.
    Crooked Peak Seasons IV-V: 11/8/4 Cup Semifinalist, Cup Quarterfinalist, Coach of the losing All-star team (Season V)
    Treeman's Triumph Seasons VI: 3/8/2 Loser in the Crud! Cup Match
    Legends of Jam Season VII: 6/3/2 Winner of the Longball Derby, Division B Champion, Cup Semifinalist

  13. - Top - End - #13
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Tychris1's Avatar

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    Default Re: GitP Blood Bowl Manager Cup - Season IV [Matches, Standings, and Schedule]


    Take back the Night!

    Deep within the bowls of The Bloodknight HQ, a hush has fallen over the establishment. Nothing moves, nothing creaks, everything left perfectly in place and abandoned. The Ghouls do not pick over the remains, the skeletons do not leer over that which remains, and the Zombies do not shuffle through the ghost town. The grinding scream of some long forgotten Banshee, lost within the sprawling catacombs for all of eternity, is all that lingers through the air. Down, deep down, far below the petty laws of life and death. Where even Angels fear to tread, where beams of light are strangled and suffocated by necrotic corruption. It is in this tumor, in this festooning wound of the world, this heart of darkness , that the Vampires lurk. Surrounded by their thrall Sycophants, they squabble amongst each other. Chief amongst them is Derk, bedecked in magical full plate worthy of a king, magical runes marked throughout, with grand and dramatic designs engraved. Konrads armor is far less intricate, as it is practically the corpse of a Drake intertwined with metal, the snarling dragons head fastened in place over his own, with eyes that bleed for eternity. Lurking about, Lucius watches passively, his shrouded black armor enwrapped with shadows like a cowl, the only visible light from the amorphous blob being his red pinpricks for eyes.

    Derk:"Dear god, we're finally here. The Second season for the Blood Knights, and we are this close to the Finals!"

    Lucius:"If we even make it into the finals."

    Derk:"Semantics."

    Lucius:"Not to mention we still need to conquer the Elves just to get a Wild Card spot. And pray to Nehek that the Red Sabres lose against the Norse who we so brutally thrashed."

    Konrad:"Bloody stinking elves...."

    Derk:Slumping onto his throne "Yes, this could be problematic...... How exactly do we go about solving this?"

    Lucius:"Tychris seems wary of throwing money down in fear of him wanting to continue with us, but also doesn't want to waste money if we win. We're stuck in a bit of a catch 20/20."

    Derk:"Yes..... And I presume you're all out of tricks and magical baubles?"

    Lucius:"Haven't gotten any expenditure money to go excavating."

    Konrad:"WE COULD PUNCH THEM!"

    Lucius:"Konrad that's your answer to everyt-"

    Derk:"No no..... Konrad may yet be onto something. Lucius, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

    Lucius:"Training Montage?"

    Derk:Leaps up and pulls his runic sword out of its scabbard

    Lets get down to business! To defeat, the elves!
    Did they send me cheerleaders? Hell just look, yourselves!
    We're the saddest lot I ever met...... But!
    You can bet before we're through, somehow I'll make a Pro,
    Out of you!

    Tranquil as a Treant, but doped within.
    Push the pitch's center, and we're sure to win!
    Your a spineless pale, pathetic lot, and you haven't got a clue.
    Somehow I'll, make a pro out of you!

    Be a Pro! You must be swift as a gutter runner!
    Be a pro! With all the force of a Kroxigor!
    Be a pro! With all the strength of a raging Minotaur!
    Mysterious as a Dark Elf on the floor!

    Training montage begins, full with obstacle course, dragon fighting, wrestling, sparring, blackjack, and river swimming, in order.
    Devouxe:"I'm never gonna catch my breathe."
    Sam:"Say good bye to those who knew me!"
    Erik:"Boy was I a fool for cutting Gym."
    Tychris: Damn, he's got them scared to death.
    Castiel:"Hope Lucy doesn't see right through me."
    Konrad:"NOW I REALLY WISH I KNEW HOW TO SWIM!"

    Be a Pro!
    We must be swift as a Gutter Runner!
    Be a Pro!
    With all the force of a Kroxigor!
    Be a Pro!
    With all the strength of a Raging Minotaur!
    Mysterious as a Dark Elf on the Floor!

    Time is racing towards us!
    Till the Finals, arrive!
    Heed my every order,
    And this team might, survive!

    Looking down at a defeated Castiel
    "You're not suited for, the game Blood Bowl
    So pack up, go home, you're through!
    How could I make a pro,
    Out of you?

    Be a Pro!
    We must be swift as a Gutter Runner!
    Be a Pro!
    With all the force of a Kroxigor!
    Be a Pro!
    With all the strength of a Raging Minotaur!
    Mysterious as a Dark Elf on the Floor!

    Be a Pro!
    We must be swift as a Gutter Runner!
    Be a Pro!
    With all the force of a Kroxigor!
    Be a Pro!
    With all the strength of a Raging Minotaur!
    Mysterious as a Dark Elf on the Floor!

    HOO-AH!


    Spoiler: Mid Season Report
    Show
    Derk sits down at a desk, bottle in his hand, and begins to wipe his face

    So, thanks to our recent victory, thanks to me of course, the Bloodknights have decided to head out and party with Coach Tychris. Of course, everyones gone missing from the hangover, so it's up to me to rally the team and handle this uhhh..... Mid-Season report thing Tychris was supposed to do.

    Offense:
    Well, we haven't really been scoring too many points, what with the no victories except recently, but that doesn't mean we haven't been Offensive! I always flip off the enemy Linemen when I score a touchdown, Konrad likes to kick people he's injured when they spend time in the hospital, and Lucius sneaks into enemy team dress rooms and drops off Elephant feces! The Thralls have also managed to make sure our fans are doped up, foaming at the mouth, equipped with weapons, and sometimes Vamped after games so that they can maul the enemy fans. Particularly Devouxe Edjut, he really likes that.
    Score:9/10

    Defense:
    Also haven't been doing too hot in that apartment on the pitch, since we've, well, let alot of touchdowns pass by. BUT! We do have some ironclad lawyers! For instance, I only had to spend 15 minutes in court for firebombing Bloomberg! Not to mention all of my restraining orders against ex-wives. Lucius doesn't really need lawyers, since he never gets caught, but still, Mr. Luckinfegher is really good. Oh, and Konrad's defence is RIDICULOUS! I remember once, he tackled a baby through a wood door and into a box of kittnes, and then sued the baby for destruction of property! Ah, good times.
    Score:10/10

    Sponsorship:
    Thanks to our recent streak of failure and misery, alot of our sponsors have bailed out on us. Bludweiser has leased us off and only lets me and my two brothers have our faces involved, and only for another 3 months. Konrads wrestling sponsorship was cancelled, Lucius thriller movie was cut, and my Playboy contract is tenuous at best. Not our best work.
    Score:3/10

    Sexiness:
    I know, I know, why is this even a question with me on the team. Still, with Die Valkyrie out of the picture, Niffleheimer and Sessrumnir about to get knocked out any day, Amateratsu out of the picture, and our only real competition being the crazed Beyond Entropy and some Rats, I can safely say we have it in the bag. I mean, just look at me, I HAVE A TWELVE PACK!
    Score:10/10

    Derkness:
    With Valerie out of the picture, I'm back on center stage baby! Spotlight, rocknroll, FAME! It's all about me! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!
    Score:11/10

    Final Score:I AM THE GREATEST!

    And so you can see, the Bloodknights are doing A-okay, and are going to the god damn Championship! Now, somebody go find a Thrall and a bottle of Scotch! I need to go hunting!


    Spoiler: Week 7
    Show
    Camera Pans in on a busted down Tavern, the swinging doors screaming softly from rough overuse. Rotted wood and good will holds the establishment together, placed eerily at the top of a hill, and left all by its lonesome save the single corroded husk of a tree that looms over it. A sign lazily hangs from the roof. Perhaps if one could go back in time and see the sign in it's birth they would read "The Lucky Dragon". But now the words have blurred and grinded away, destroyed by time, and all that remains on the sign is a faint "Dragon". Several Nightmares, skeletal horses, and Hellsteeds wait patiently outside, tied to posts and wooden poles. Hexwraiths fly across the moonlit sky, cackling wildly as they do the danse macabre, and leave behind a spectral trail of witchfire. Dire Wolves congregate at the step of the hill, circling around like the vicious pack animals they are. Ghouls and Zombies stumble into each other, fighting over scraps of flesh and picked over bones. Fellbats screech as they roost under the roof of the tavern, providing a Alto for the haunting Soprano of the banshees that cover the hill like a supernatural fog. Placed sternly infront of the Tavern is a Black Coach, unpeturbed by the amalgamation of supernatural monstrosities. Leering over the reins, the Cairn Wraith idly plays with his scythe, humming a deep baritone beat to which the entire necromantic procession seems to follow. The winds of magic blow harshly against the hill, particularly throigh the Black Coach, and fill the air with a dread energy. Dark power crackles throughout the atmosphere, bubbling and building up, and just waiting to spill over in a destructive outburst.

    And yet within the Tavern it is a different story. It is full of vibrancy and life. A whole Blood Bowl team worth of life actually. The Blood Knights have assembled within, partying and enjoying their Bye Week while they still can. Konrad lays in the far east side of the Tavern, engaging himself in a three way fight between a Crypt Ghoul a Vargheist and himself. Derk lays over the counter of the bar, covered in alcohol, and surrounded by discarded beer mugs. Valerie reads over a piece of paper, repeatedly, and grips her wooden guitar in the process. The Vinchester brothers sing their signature song, rocking out with booze and other thralls. The Helsing brothers, Vladmir Gorb, and Knight Errant play a game of Blackjack not too far from Valerie, with several weapons and artifacts on the line. Fights are started, chairs broken, tables smashed, booze drunken, and money thrown. A picture of coach Tychris hangs lazily on the wall, placed over a dart board with the words "Game Plan" written over it. The bar tender, a portly Vampire with grey skin that would make a Strigoi Ghoul King look handsome, merely watches the whole party with a grin, and reaps the loot. Lucius, on the other hand, merely watches the party unfold with an annoyed expression on his face. Tired, he walks forward and confronts Derk.


    Lucius: Derk I really think this party has gone on long enough-

    Derk: THE PARTY DON'T..... UGH.... ST-...STAHRT! TILL I COME IN!

    Lucius: Derk, you're already-

    Derk: Stumbles up DON'T STAHP, MAKE IT HAWT, DJ BLOW MY.... MY.... uuuugh

    Lucius: Ok, seriously. This was nice for the first day, but we have spent the WHOLE BYE WEEK in this stupid Tavern! Tychris has been looking for us everywhere! We're going to fight the Johnnies in a few days and we can't afford to lose again.

    Derk:..... You.... Yah wanna know why we always lose?

    Lucius: Sighs Sure Derk, enlighten me in your smashed wisdom.

    Derk: Leans in, breathe reeking of death, eyes glazed over It's cause we suck.

    Lucius: Come on, that's not-

    Derk: DON'T YOU LIE TO ME! I know we suck!

    Lucius: Come on we got into the Semi-Finals last year-

    Derk: BECAUSE WE WERE IN A LEAGUE OF OPRHANED TEAMS!

    Lucius: You got MVP! Your a Vampire Star!

    Derk: I'm only MVP because I managed to be a good player in a bad team. If any good player from a different team joined, they'd be MVP for all Blood Bowl History!

    Lucius: Derk, I think you've had enough.

    Derk leaps away, pulling out a dagger from his boot

    Derk: We're garbage! Utter crap! Even Blind Faith is better then us, and they're Ogres! OGRES! A TEAM OF BLOODY SNOTLINGS AND OGRES ARE OUTDOING US!

    Lucius: Derk, put the knife dow-

    Derk: No wonder Count Luthor Von Drakenborg left to work for those God forsaken undead. It's because we're so shameful compared to him that he wouldn't even grace us with his aid! That he wouldn't even give me, his biggest fan, a god damn autograph after the match!

    Lucius: He had to go to a different game-

    Derk: HE COULD HAVE MADE SOME GOD DAMN TIME FOR ME. I'm a Vampire Star remember!?!?!?

    Lucius: Listen, Derk, everything is going to be ok. Just put the knife down, get rid of the bottle, and walk away.

    Derk throws the knife into the dart board, downs half a bottle of tequilla, and procures a flint and steel.

    Derk: Bloomberg......

    Lucius: What was that?

    Derk: I bloody hate trees......

    Derk zones his eyes on the dying tree outside, and leaves for it. Camera pans over to Knight Errant and the gambling game.

    KE:.... Aaaaaaand Ace with a Ten! Blackjack! Fork it over, chumps!

    Erik: Dammit, this is the third time in a row.

    Vladmir: Yeah......How do we know you're not cheating?

    KE: Because then I would have played Ogre Roullete He brandishes the revolver used in Ogre Roullete Or do you want to test your luck?

    Vladmir: Alright alright, I get it....... But how about we up the ante a bit. My personal Hellsteed, for that Golden Idol of yours.

    KE: My good luck charm? Hell no! I got this thing after we fought the two headed minotaur, damn near saved my life from the falling boulder and Acid Sharks!

    Vladmir: Come on. If you really think it's so damn lucky, then there's nothing to lose am I right?

    KE: Well, if I could trick a Sphinx into fighting a 7 Headed Werehydra, I can damn well beat you. Come on dealer, lets go another round! All or nothing!

    Cards begin to get handed out to each player as the camera pans again over to Konrad, twisting the Crypt Ghouls arm in an unnatural pose.

    Konrad: KONRAD BREAK YOUR BONES!

    Vargheist: RAYURGH! Leaps forward, tackling Konrad

    Konrad: I WILL RIP YOUR HEAD INTO THREE! Punches head aside, grabs the Vargheist by the wing arm, and smashes him into the Crypt Ghoul. The two of them roll to the side of the ring in a ball. They quickly claw at each other before seperating. The Vargheist, still disorientated, stays back a moment as the Crylt Ghoul charges Konrad. The Ghoul swings a massive bone, the femur of a ogre, and bats Konrad in the chest. Konrad smashes into the side of the tavern, breaking wood in the process, and watches as the Ghoul continues his advance. Yet the swing is short lived as the Vargheist grabs the Crypt Ghoul with its talons and begin to fly. Taking chase, Konrad clings onto the Ghoul and holds tightly. The three of them smash through the roof of the Tavern and take to the skies. The Ghoul and Konrad begin to bash at each other, meaty fists hitting faces as bones crunched and blood flowed. The Vargheist reached great heights, flying near the Hexwraiths. Konrad leaped off the Ghoul, dropkicking the Incorporeal Horsemen in the face, and swiftly hijacking his ride. Snatching the blazing Schthe utilised by the flying undead, Konrad kicked the flying horse and sent it blitzing forward. Swinging the scythe in one hand, Konrad stood on the back of the horse and leaped forward. Gripping the weapon now with two hands, he pierced both of his opponets as they grappled through the air, and carved their bodies in half. Embedded within their corpses, Konrad began to plummet back to earth, still gripping his spectral scythe. They crashed through the roof, decimating the ring as they landed in it full force. As the dust settled, Konrad rung his scythe out of the body, and howled a blood thirsty war cry.

    Konrad: Turning towards a mysterious man in robes LETS DO IT AGAIN!

    Enigma: Very well, what beasts do you wish to buy and fight now?

    Camera zooms out and then refocuses on Valerie

    Valerie: WHAT! THEY FIRED ME! Is this some kind of a joke!?!? AND THEY STILL EXPECT ME TO STAY ON RETAINER AS A WIZARD?! WHO'S BRIGHT IDEA WAS THIS?...... CROW!?!?!?

    She begins to grip her guitar tightly

    Valerie: Wherever you hide, wherever you roam, I will find you Crow! And I will rip your heart out and eat it! I will butcher everyone you know and suffocate you in their corpses! I will shatter your dreams, burn your destiny, ruin whatever happiness you may find! There is no force on this planet, no shield, wall, man, Daemon, undead, or God that will stop my fury. I will destroy your very existence and wile your name from history. But for now.... Now I wait.....

    She lowers a cowboy hat onto her head, looks up at the fully exposed glory of Morrsleib, and begins to strum her guitar

    Valerie: I see, the bad moon arising. I see.... Trouble on the way. I see, earthquakes and lightnin'. I see, bad times today. Weeeeeeell don't go round tonight. It's bound to take your life. There's a bad moon on the rise.

    Camera pans out and focuses on Vinchester brothers

    Dean: Hmmmm.... This beer tastes pretty funny.

    Sam: Yeah, I thought the bar tender ran out of booze a while ago. Where did he say he got this stuff again?

    Dean: Some kind of wizard buddy of his?

    Sam: Hmmm..... I don't think we should keep- HOLY **** FIRE!

    The Tavern divulges into utter chaos as Derk lights the tree on fire. The flames flick off and spread into the building, which quickly catches aswell. Konrad continues to brawl, Lucius dissappears, Thralls pour out and mount, Derk dances madly on the ashes he makes, and calmly sitting in her chair Valerie continues to sing her Death Ballad.

    Valerie: There's a Bad Moon on the rise...........

    Camera pans out of the chaos and fades to black


    Spoiler: Week 4
    Show
    Welcome viewers! Today we have a special footage rights to enter the premises of The Bloodknights inner HQ. After the embarassing defeat at the hands of The Shadow, Coach Tychris has decided it beat to open his doors to the public to show how he handled the situation.

    *Several sound proof rooms are heavily barricaded, a single sheet of glass between the front of them all*

    Tell us Coach Tychris, what exactly is happening down here?

    Tychris: I've realized my exuberant pampering of the Vampires has lead to them growing unrestrained. They've become bloodlusting uncontrollable liabilities that need to be managed. As of such I've reinstated the detox room, in which hopefully they will be able to stay in control of their animalistic rage. I has hoped their time in the room during Season III would have ended this, but The Shadow game showed me just how wrong I was.

    Ah, a kind of therapeutical center for them to overcome their Bloodlust as beat they can?

    Tychris: In a sense....

    How goes the progress then?

    Tychris: Well, we've been having mixed results with each of them. Hold on i'll go grab that clipboard Devouxe Edjut made. Where is it....

    *Rustles about and pulls out clipboard*

    Tychris: Here we go! Derk Von Duneheim: Massive hysterical fits, severe desperation. Has attempted to bribe the guard 40 times in the last hour. Constantly demands for a Daemonette, potentially undergoing severe Warp Dust withdrawal as well. Eyes sunken in, fits of energy followed with crashes, little to no violent activity. Lucius Von Duneheim: No verbal reaction, has merely glared at the guard and whoever enters the room with eyes of pure malice and disgust, repeated predatory growl and snarls. Progress unknown. Valerie Von Streissenhower: Rabid frenzy, nearly mauling the first person who entered the room. Restraints implemented soon afterward, restricting all four limbs. Beneficial oversight, snarling hateful pelvic thrust is oddly attractive. Konrad Ze Krazy: Constantly spewing out stream of gibberish, tangentially related to current events happening, and seems unaware of his own position. Deep hallucinations with fits of violent outbursts. After first visit the door was reinforced with adamantium and interaction was limited to a sliding peephole. After dislocation of Cuffin Meit's arm, peephole has since been bolted shut.

    ........... Well then, it appears as if the Vampires are in disarray. With the generally Vampire centric strategies of The Bloodknights, how does this fair for their next match against Crooked Peak?

    Tychris: I've decided to take a shift away from Vampires to focus more solely on our Thralls. With the more reserved resources for Konrad now not in use, we have since repurposed them into Thrall training grounds for training them in taking hits and dragging their enemies down with them. The sparring arena has been renovated into a Wrestling ring, and a part time professional Khemri wrestler administered to oversee the operations. The Dwarfs may hit hard, but the Thralls will be able to take it.

    It's heartening to hear a resurgency in Thrall use. After the untimely death of Squire, many a Bloodknight fan feared the Thralls would fall completely into obscurity. Hopefully more sustainable Thralls will make for more sustainable Vampires, and thus more sustainable wins. Webhere at Carpe Noxtem would like to thank all the viewers at home. As always, good night and good luck!


    Spoiler: Week Three
    Show

    Welcome to another-

    Konrad: ENOUGH TALK.

    Ok.... Ummm.... Well, today on Carpe Noctem!

    Konrad:*Growls*

    Uh, Konrad, from the ever so seductive Bloodknights. Tell us Konrad, what happened last match against The Heroes?

    Konrad: Konrad didn't Konrad their Konrad while I Konrad!

    Right, not enough coordinated offense. Tell me, do you think if valerie stayed on her feet instead of-

    *Bloody crunching noise followed with painful intern scream*

    Right, avoiding that question.

    Konrad: Konrad kurious, why so many big orcs around Konrad?

    Just a...... safety precaution. From the last time you-I mean bandits robbed our property and destroyed the building.

    Konrad: Ah.... Yeah, smelly bandits. No good bandits, like Heroes. Only smaller, like little green men.

    Insightful as always. Disregarding the new security, tell us what The Bloodknights have been cooking up this past week to face off against the Undead team The Shadow.

    Konrad: Valerie go to therapy, spend lots of time throwing ball around. She even spend 3 days in mountains with hairy rat men. They come at night, dressed in black like coaches, BUT THEY WEREN'T COACHES! Konrad only see them take her, so he not know what they do with her. But Konrad pretty sure they train her too. But no one else saw them, so no one believes Konrad. But Konrad knows, Konrad sees everything that happens. And Konrad was on his medicine too when he saw them! Probably.

    ...............Right, ninja Skaven abducted her in the middle of the night...... I'm sure that happened. Anything else?

    Konrad: Konrad got new medicine. Little red pills. They taste sweet, and don't make Konrad feel sad and slow like his blue pills. But Konrad always gets fuzzy head after he takes them..... Oh! Konrad supposed to take them now! This is what Squire was for! *Konrad downs 2 pills*

    Well that's all fo-

    Konrad: I SEE RED! BLOOD BLOOD BLOOOOOOOOD! *Pulls out his duel blades* METALLIC CHEST JABBERS! FEED THE MEAT! SALT THE WOUND! WHY AREN'T YOU STABBING ME YET?!?!?

    F***! Orcs, go!

    *Konrad begins slicing through Orcs*

    Konrad:I SEE THE COLOR OF DEATH! MORE MEAT FOR ME! Blood in the water, AND I JUST NEED TO LEARN HOW TO SURF! I WANNA HEAR YOU SCREAM! Now RUN! Muahaha! RUUUN!

    *Orcs begin to retreat en masse*

    Konrad: NEVER STOP THE KILLING! NEVER! You loud sacks of filth and your sour veins... you can hit me with your pain pinatas aaallll daaaay, but youll never take the jellied fantasies of my wasted youth! My stomach is clear and my mind is FULL of Bacon!

    Dammit, seal the door! No, barricade it with EVERYTHING!

    *Konrad jumps onto Cameraman*

    Konrad: I'm going to swallow your throat! I'LL OPEN YOUR VEINS WITH MY TEETH!

    Quickly! Change channels, change channels!
    *Static*


    Spoiler: Week Two
    Show
    Welcome back viewers! We originally intended to have some one on one interview time with Valerie Von Streissenhower, but due to her recent head trauma she opted to not come in today and instead "Go drink the blood of some stupid lizards." as she put it. Instead we have Dean and Sam Vinchester coming in to explain to us the next match, and how a Thrall can compete in Blood Bowl!

    *Door opens, smoke billowing through as the two enter*

    Hello Sam, Dean, tell us abit about yourselves, considering you've been with The Bloodknights since the beginning we're wondering what exactly brought you here.

    D: Well, before we were Thralls we hunted monsters. Witches, Minotaurs, Trolls, Orcs, Goblins, even Vampires, and Chaos.

    S: Eventually though we got caught deep in debt, and now we're repaying Tychris by signing on to his team.

    D: Stupid bloody Vamp-

    CN: Anyway, considering your past of killing things near and far you must be very adept on the Blood Bowl field. Could you perhaps tell us some of your methods?

    D: Holy water and special Daemon marks help to inflict massive amount of pain on Chaos worshippers and Daemons alike.

    S: Burning the bones of a Wight is the only way to keep it dead.

    D: Revenants require a sharp thrust through the chest with a silver weapon.

    S: Elves are susceptible to high pitch noises, harsh scraping is preferable.

    D: Lizardmen, being coldblooded, can have their metabolism controlled with controlled heat. Apply enough cold to them and they drop easily enough.

    S: Ghosts, such as Leriel, can be warded off with salt and pure iron.

    CN: Well then, with all that in mind would you put your odds down as favorable against Hellbugs Heroes?

    S: Honestly? No, The Heroes may have tripped up the first time, but barring Konrads antics they learned the second time around. Perhaps if Valerie can stay on her feet and throw the ball we'll probably see a point or two, but I wouldn't rely on our defense to hold The Heroes off for long.

    D: I'd have to disagree with you-

    S: Of course you do.

    D: As I was saying, The Heroes are known for a slow build up, and it's only the second match of the season. Barring a break out incident where The Heroes suddenly start steam rolling immedieately I think we'll be able to overcome The Heroes while they're still trying to get there barrings and shake off the sleep from the Off Season.

    S: Well, accidents do happen. I'd rather rely on statistics then tradition, but that's just me I guess.

    D: Oh for crying out loud! Can't you just-

    *The two of them proceed to walk off stage, still bickering*

    CN: Both valid points, well tune in next week for more Blood Bowl news here at Carpe Noctem! As always, stay classy audience, and TAKE BACK THE NIGHT!


    Spoiler: Week One
    Show
    Welcome back, Ladies and Thralls, Orcs and Goblins! During the Off Season we've undergone a military corporate take-over of the broadcasting company Vampizon, and as of such we've decided to broadcast Carpe Noctem! instead of our usual printing process. And with the new Blood Bowl season starting we've decided to comemorate this moment by inviting Derk, Lucius, Konrad, and Valerie to our show!

    D: We're glad to be here.

    CN: Excellent, now, tell us what you all have been doing during the off season?

    L: I decided to go explore a Necropolis, well, up until the Strigoi Ghoul King realized I was there and kicked me out.

    D: Made a movie, "Man of Mithril". Wasn't a huge hit, but I got paid anyway.

    V: Went back to my singing career, almost entertained the idea of a partnership with Fredo.

    K: KONRAD BECAME A VARGHULF!

    CN:....... What?

    L: Long story.

    CN: I'm certain..... Anyway, with this being your second year of blood bowl, the Bloodknights are no longer the rookie underdogs from Division C. How does it feel to be a Veteran team surrounded by other rookies trying to make a name for themselves, and what do you think of said teams?

    D: It feels amazing being a veteran team, the fact that I can put our names down with such teams as The Fancy Lads and Die Valkyrie brings a warm glow to my heart. Not to mention all the publicity.

    L: Albeit, the invasion of privacy has been an unwanted side effect.....

    V: Pfft, what privacy! We're on the cusp of fame and fortune! Get used to it!

    D: As for the rookie teams, I rather like Drakenhof Returned. It's good to see another Sylvanian team, one can never have too much of home. And who knows, maybe they'll treat us with proper respect and servitude. Although I hope their coach doesn't disappear, it'd be a travesty to lose the Returned.

    L: I can't exactly say I'd bet my money on them, but I do enjoy Blind Faith. Out of all the teams they seem to be the most entertaining, although I hope not in a Shire Patch way, and will certainly be a treat to watch. If they manage to bash their way to the quarter finals I will be most surprised.

    V: Nature's Guardians are who i'm watching out for. Though mainly due to them having "Thunder" and "Lightning". It was such a shame, what jappened to their team last season, and i'm hoping the two of them will be able to make up for what happened. End on a good note, you know?

    K: Konrad like Feets Reloaded! Konrad always like Rat teams, but SSS had stupid goblins, and Konrad hates goblins! HATE HATE HATEHATEHATE! But now Crow only have Rats! Rats fuzzy and warm and cuddly! Kondrad like rats, though Konrad like spikey rats most of all. They make nice popping sound when they die, and Konrads friend Queek is a spikey rat. Konrad also like big rat, though big rat never hug Konrad back. Oh well.

    CN: And with that we'll bring it back to your upcoming match. Tell me, what do you think will happen in your match against the OC?

    D: Me, Lucius, and Valerie have practiced throwing the old pig skin around, and are hoping our increased mobility will let us outpace the Lizards.

    V: Not to mention Blud Bags unnatural agility makes him an excellent back up catcher in the event Lucius or Derk get pinned. It'll be rough, but we're thinking we can pull it off.

    K: And even if they start punching, Konrad punch back! Konrad been practicing all week, rampaging through whole villages, and hunting with Dire Wolves! Konrad even tap into Varghulf again, but only for this one match, Konrads head hurt when he stays as Varghulf for too long. Start getting bloody eyes.

    D: More so then usual atleast.

    V: So all in all our hopes are pretty high that we can beat them with pasing.

    L: Unless Konrad decides to steal the ball over and over again.....

    K: Konrad sorry for that......

    D: Oh come on Lucius, lay off with that will you!

    L: NO! Because of him we lost the semi-finals! We could have won the whole thing! We would have been the most dramatic and enigmatic team! Swooping in from the dredges of Division C, snatching the Cup from the jaws of death, and shocking everyone! Instead we got trounced in a humiliating slug fest!

    K: Konrad really sorry.......

    D: Lucius, listen-

    L: And i'm sick of that too! Konrad's the oldest, and yet we always have to look out for him! When I was ten and you were six we had to clean up after Konrad when he came home covered in the neighbors entrails! And what did you say? "It's ok Konrad, everything's going to be alright. Mom won't know."

    V: Lucius...........

    L: This is ridiculous! And you want me to just forgive and forget!

    *Konrad is sniffeling and crying, Derk looks at Lucius stone faced*

    D: Lucius, we're brothers. No matter what happens, I will always have your back, and Konrads. We all make mistakes, maybe Konrad makes more of them then others, but that doesn't make him exempt from our love. Remember that time you found me, passed out in my motel room, overdosed on Daemon Dust? Or when Konrad pulled you out of the Rat Ogre pit in Clan Moulders territory?

    *Derk hugs Lucius*

    D:........

    L:............

    D: I love you Lucius, the seasons just starting, and lets look forward to what's coming. Cause in one match, one of us might not walk out at all.

    L: I'm sorry Konrad......

    K: It's ok......... Konrad understand....

    *Konrad joins the hug, and after a few seconds they break apart and look at Valerie*

    V: Great, now that we're all on the same page, lets get to it. We're new and improved, back for blood, and surrounded by fresh meat. It certainly won't be a cake walk, but I swear that we will carve out a bloody name for ourselves! One blood bowl team at a time! We're the Bloodknights! AND WE'RE GOING TO-

    All of them: TAKE BACK THE NIGHT!

    *Derk, Lucius, and Konrad tear off their clothes to reveal suits. Lucius puts on a dapper hat and lays down a beat, with Konrad echoing Derk*

    "Tonight's the night, come on surrender
    I won't lead your money astray, astray, yeah
    Your block's a weapon
    Give your body some direction
    That's my aim
    Then, we could"

    "Take back the night!
    Come on go for it until there's no dice left
    Take back the night!
    Dizzy, spinning, sweating, laying prone you can't catch your breathe!
    Take back the night!
    Oooh hope the sun won't be rising next
    Take back the night!
    So if the feeling's right then throw that ball and let's,"

    "Take back the night, Take back the night!
    They gonna try and shut us out, but i'll be damned if we let them
    Take back the night, take back the night!
    You can go mess around, but you won't find anyone better!
    Take back the night!"

    "Oh, yeah....."


    Thank you for tuning in to see us here! From all of us here at Carpe Noctem! good night, and good luck!
    Last edited by Tychris1; 2014-01-07 at 10:02 PM.
    “I’m a Terrorist not an idiot.” - Me
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  14. - Top - End - #14
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Crow's Avatar

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    Default Re: GitP Blood Bowl Manager Cup - Season IV [Matches, Standings, and Schedule]


    Your #1 source for blood bowl.

    Quarterfinals Predictions

    The regular season is over, and the quarterfinals are here. Playoff blood bowl is as good as it gets, and everybody loves making predictions, so of course we are putting those two things together. Read on, as we make our predictions for this week's playoff action.

    Red Sabres Will Send Outrageous Cretaceous Packing

    The Sabres have been playing lights out lately, while the lizardmen have been soild all season. While conventional wisdom would give this match to OC, their astoundingly high number of draws is what "draws" us to give it to the Sabres. While the Sabres have been fantastically bad at times, they have also been really good at other times. The Sabres on a bad day aren't going to be anywhere near the vicinity of a tie score near the end of regulation, but if they are playing well enough to keep things close, especially if the match heads into overtime, their quick-strike offense will put them over the top.

    Hellbug's Heroes Will Similarly Stun The Drakenhof Returned

    The Heroes know how to play playoff bloodbowl, and that experience is going to come into play this week. Drakenhof has handily overpowered their opposition all season, and the Heroes are the perfect lineup to end that trend. Built to bloody noses, an early shift in the Heroes direction could prove to be a veritable knockout blow to a team that has ridden it's good blocking to one of the best records in the league. The key for Drakenhof will be to keep it's ghouls healthy, and against chaos, that is going to prove far too tall an order.

    Reloaded Will Run Over The Shadow

    Reloaded have already scored one victory over the necromantic Shadow, and are arguably a better team now than they were then. Adding to this, The Shadow has not played well recently, and more or less backed into the playoffs. One thing in the necros' favor though, is that they are coming off of the coveted final-week bye, giving them extra preparation and a healthy roster with which to face the Feets. With the skaven carrying numerous injuries on their roster, an early hot start to the match could tip things to The Shadow's favor.

    The Johnnys' Quest Will Embarass Crooked Peak

    The Johnnys have been playing unbelievable blood bowl in the past two weeks, and the slow-as-molasses dwarf lineup is a huge weakness against mobile, quick-strikers like the wood elves. The Peak's only hope is a ball-control oriented approach. They have to eat up enough time on their possessions that the Johnnys don't have time to bounce back. Take too long though, and the mobile Johnnies defense will get the ball away, which the dwarves cannot allow to happen. History shows us that when the Johnnies get the ball on defense, it quickly becomes a touchdown. Coach Clarkson is in a very rough place this week, and faces quite possibly the worst matchup he could have drawn in the first round.

    Beyond Entropy Will Achieve Victory In The Crud! Cup

    Entropy has had a hard rap this season, picking up a lowly, single victory. But his week they face ogres, and are one of the only teams in the league that can face Blind Faith's front line on even footing (if not better). Blind Faith just have snotlings to move the ball, while 'Bluebeater' Rudy, the fast skaven, will likely be moving things for Entropy. Give it to chaos on this one boys.

    ************************************************** *******

    Week 14:
    Spoiler
    Show
    To my most excellent team,

    This a letter to the several players that I benched this week. I first want to say that I know we are playing for a playoff qualification, and that you all want to be in the game to make that happen. I am grateful for your enthusiasm and competitive spirit, but I have my reasons which I will elaborate upon shortly. I believe that my choice gives us the best opportunity to win based upon our capabilities, and those of our opponents. I will address each player in order by roster number.

    #1, Bro Science: I know you are a tough guy, and I know that you are dying to get that 7th casualty so that you can qualify for another training session. Don't take this the wrong way, but the ogres we're facing are on some sort of performance enhancing drugs that we can't afford ourselves. They are much stronger, and much more in number than you are. If we qualify, I know that your strength will help us immensely. However, letting you play in this week's game would be setting you up for failure, and I don't want to see that.

    #6, Green Nail: You're strong for a linerat, but Bro Science is even stronger, and for the reasons I already outlined, I'm not going to place you in a situation where you will fail. Also factoring into my decision is that nasty back injury that you have. Even you have to admit that you have been spending more time on the ground lately. If a player is going to be on the ground, I would rather it not be the best linerat I've ever seen play the game.

    #7, Gnawlins Barbeque: Your knee means an almost assured injury for you when the ogres start piling on. I know you're a better blocker than most journeymen, but that doesn't help me after you get fouled to the casualty box.

    #8, Shades: Your benching has nothing to do with your performance or your injury. Despite your injury, you have a good grasp on assisted blocking, and if we make the playoffs, we're going to need that expertise. I know you like lining up right on the line, but without Bro Science and Green Nail there I'm not seeing that those journeymen are going to appreciate or make good use of what you bring to the table. Besides, if we miss the playoffs, I'd like to bring you back next season (whether here, or with Triple-S). I can't do that if you're dead.

    #11, Lashee Creep: I know you're adamant about how good you look in your new designer cardboard armor, but good though you may look, I just can't get on board with it, functionality-wise.

    I hope that sheds some light on my decision-making process. Please report to the training facility at 0700 on Friday as usual, and enjoy your weekend off.

    -Crow


    Week 13:
    Spoiler
    Show
    What To Expect From The Playoffs

    With the playoffs looming, several teams have secured playoff positions and are only waiting on final seeding. Others are still very much in the hunt, and have everything to play for. We have several coaches in the league who have playoff experience, and a few new coaches who do not. While this is directed primarily towards the new guys, it is my hope that the old guys might learn something new from this as well. Not all of these will come true, but don't be surprised if any of them do. So here we go. Five things you can expect to see in the playoffs this season.

    1. A Regular-Season Powerhouse Gets Eliminated Early

    The best teams in the regular season on paper generally got that way by demolishing lesser teams to pad their record. Looking at their "real" record, against more competitive teams will often reveal the truth. Every season has had a seemingly unstoppable juggernaut slain early. I expect to see the same this season.

    2. A Game Will Go Into Overtime, and Bench Will Make The Difference

    There are no draws in the post-season, so chances are good that somebody is going to be playing in sudden death overtime. These are particularly rough on less well-armored teams who suffer attrition as matches go on. In these cases, for the weaker teams especially, having a bench with some trained players ready to step in at a moment's notice can be game-winning.

    3. A Dark Horse Is Going To Do Well

    You know the teams, the ones who looked hopeless in the regular season but just barely squeaked into the playoffs. Well usually they made it into the playoffs on the back of some tremendous play when it mattered. These are the teams that possibly took time to develop, but are finally hitting their stride. They are also among the most dangerous foes you can face in a playoff situation.

    4. A Key Player Will Go Down, and Cost Their Team

    Somebody important is going to get injured, and though their team may manage to pull out the win in that match, the next week is usually the killer. Teams that play a lot of star ball are particularly at risk of this happening, and when they lose that player, the fall will be swift and hard.

    5. Someone Will Cement Their Legacy

    Stakes are at their highest in the playoffs. The best players are playing on the best teams. The quality of the competition is much higher than in the regular season. Coaching experience is more important than at any time in the regular season. With the stakes so high, and the games so important, some star player is going to have a career-defining match. A performance so good that it absolutely astonishes everybody. Sometimes that performance comes from a coach. Masterful use of inducement money, spot-on gameplans, and general sportsmanship can leave a lasting impression on a coach's peers.


    Week 12:
    Spoiler
    Show
    Reloaded Still Alive As Injuries Mount

    Feets Reloaded scored a major victory last week, against divisional opponents The Bloodknights, but the horizon might not be so rosy for the beleaguered skaven team. While they managed the victory, the rats also suffered two serious injuries which will no doubt rear their ugly heads in the form of future injuries. With a roster that is still under-strength (with only ten players on contract), the Feets have four players who have suffered resilience-altering permanent injuries. This leaves the team with a high probability of facing offensive or defensive drives with only 7 players (or fewer) on the pitch. Adding to this difficulty, Reloaded must face the red-hot Johnnys' Quest in the upcoming week, and the down-but-not-out human outfit of the Red Sabres. While Reloaded have the wherewithal to bash and score on the wood elves, many are wondering if the skaven players will be up to slowing down the lightning scoring threat of John T. Partí and Lady 'Cookie' Fingers. The Sabres present a different animal altogether with arguably the best blitzer in the league, and the league's most experienced thrower highlighting their roster. So far, experts are giving odds on the elves and the humans to come out victorious. In the final match of the season, Reloaded will be faced with their most winnable match, but also the one where their ongoing injury problem will be exposed to the most scrutiny. While most skaven-ogre matchups would be considered well within the bag, this is not the case here. The Feets will need to overcome injury and find ways to score. If they can just manage to win against the ogres (a divisional opponent), the skaven will have a solid shot at playoff qualification.

    Defensive Player of the Year Race Heating Up
    Valinor Silvenruth

    After a somewhat off season in Season III, I must say, the league has been absolutely dazzled by this season's crop of bashers. Collectively, they have been leading the charge in one of the most exciting seasons for physical play since Bull the Butcher amazed us back in Season II.

    So far, the favorite to bring in Defensive Player of the Year honors has been the ogre captain Blind Io. After experiencing a bit of a drop off that allowed Entropy troll Doc Nutsmasher to nab the spotlight, Io stormed back into the spotlight with three casualties in his last match to retake the top spot in the casualty table. The race is far from over though. The aforementioned Doc 'The Math Teacher' Nutsmasher has been outstanding. While he doesn't have the pure numbers of Io, he has proven his mettle with casualties against some of the most well-armored opponents in the league. With a strong showing in the final stretch, he could well overtake Blind Io for DPoY honors, despite lower production.

    In the wings, several players are a few good games away from serious contention, and first mention should go to the Heroes chaos warrior Orgetorix. Currently sitting third in the casualties table, Orgetorix has the advantage of reliability. With Io and Nutsmasher both being streaky at times, there is something to be said for Orgetorix's blue-collar, go and get it done, style. The chaos warrior has had several good, but not exceptional games, and has regrettably flown a bit under the radar. Also underappreciated is Outrageous Cretaceous saurus Quetankha. On a team with what seems to be a porcelain kroxigor, it has fallen on Quetankha to anchor the OC line far more than it should, and he has the KO numbers to show it. A severely underrated player, I would be disappointed if this guy didn't get any votes at the end of the season. Regardless, there is still three weeks to go, and the race is anybody's for the taking. I wouldn't be surprised if some players I haven't mentioned are up for the honors come season's end. We shall see!

    Preview: Outrageous Cretaceous vs. The Shadow
    Edrad 'The Stepdad' Oril

    Hey blood bowl fan! I'm back! That's right, you can shelf your speculation, 'cause The Stepdad is back to tell ya what's what. I tell ya, I'm startin' back with the biggest match of the week. That's right, the Sultans of Slime, Outrageous Cretaceous, are takin' on the walkin' dead, The Nestors of Necrphilia- er...well, anyways, The Shadow! This divisional match has huge playoff implications for both teams. It's the best chance for the Shadow to be in position to leapfrog OC for the top spot in division A, which could mean facing an easy wild card in the first round of the playoffs for whoever snatches it. I tell ya what though, the Shadow might as well pack their bags and head home. There no way theys gonna overpower the OC. Xi-li is having a season for the ages, and seems unstoppable. The Shadow's takin' the field wit a new wight, and their offense- whew! Who holds the ball? They've got no identity. Some might say that keeps them "balanced". Not me, gimme a star like Xi-li! Cretaceous is winnin' this one. Take it to the bank 'cause that's a Norse-Yhetee-Deathroller lock!

    Coaching and Development
    Varg the Ventilator

    In the rough and tumble world of Blood Bowl, there is one thing that can't be avoided, and that's injuries. In my time on the Rivermen, we thankfully didn't have to deal with this all too often. However, in my time with the Rivermen, we got to see others have to deal with this on a regular basis. When a permanent injury is inflicted upon a player, the coach must ask themselves; Should I cut this guy? Obviously, some injuries are going to be more severe than others, and much will depend on what that player's role on the team is. For most players, an injury that limits their mobility won't be too much of in issue. That wasn't the case for Die Valkyrie catcher Mist in Season III. Mist was one of the league's rising stars, and experienced a fantastic season catching touchdowns from the elusive Göndul. That all changed when she suffered a terrible smashed hip injury. Mist lost a step, and was never the same. This season, we saw a similar situation with Shadow wight Sigfried von Richtehofen. Siegfried was a rising star, with one of the most impressive snotling derby appearances the league has seen to date. All until he suffered the dreaded smashed collar bone. Siefried no longer had the raw physical strength to land blocks (without assistance) like he used to. To the detriment of The Shadow, his coach left him in at his insistance. The will was there, but no longer the ability. On the other hand, one of the most popular players in the league, Morr E.N. Tezz, suffered the same injury, and went on to lead his team to the playoffs as a catcher and runner.

    It all depends on the player's role. My advice to prospective coaches out there is this: When a player suffers a serious injury, ask yourself; Can this player still do their job effectively. This isn't the time for sentimental feelings. If the answer is yes, keep him on. If the answer is no, you need to cut him, because being proud as players of this sport are, he is going to try. A player with the heart, but not the ability, is taking up a roster spot that the next Gonzalo or Brunbob might be itching to step into. One question is all you need to ask. I hope you enjoyed the column, and I hope you'll be stopping by next week.


    Week 11:
    Spoiler
    Show
    Beneath the flickering lights of an unassuming coffee shop, Fernand O.E. Arrow waits for a mysterious arrival...

    Fernand took a sip of the scalding hot coffee. The hint of bitterness could still be tasted beneath the familiar burn at the tip of his tongue. The coffee shop was abuzz with activity. His back to the wall, close to the entrance, it was still difficult to keep track of all of the comings and goings of the busy shop's patrons. Through the entrance, Fernand spotted his contact, the manager of Feets Reloaded, Crow himself. Crow was never known to be a man to make a spectacle of himself, but amid the jumble of hipsters and young urban professionals that frequented the coffee shop, his sable feathers and midnight beak stood out like a giant bird in a coffee shop. Ruffling his feathers with a shiver, Crow approached Fernand's table and took a seat.

    "So you decided to show up. I was a little worried that you might have decided you were out of the business." Crow began. "I assume you know why I'm here?"

    Fernand raised the cup of coffee to his lips again, ignoring the burn to get a taste. "I'm still in the business. But just because you were able to swing some back-alley deal to set up this meeting, do not assume I work for free." Fernand's answer evoked a response in Crow's dark eyes, but he couldn't quite tell what was going on behind those blackened pools. "I expect to be well paid."

    "Of course." Crow reached into the fluff of his feathers, producing a handful of items which he dropped onto the table in a tiny heap. Sitting there, were bottlecaps, broken glass, a few coins of small denomination, and other bits of detritus no doubt collected for their ability to catch and reflect some light. Crow sat waiting, a satisfied look upon his face. "This will do, no?"

    "That will do nicely." Fernand took possession of the bits. "As a down payment. I want double that when the job is finished."

    "Deal."

    "Who's the target?"

    "An old friend. You've heard of Leriel?" Crow paused, and Fernand nearly fumbled his coffee were it not for his famously sure hands.

    "Leriel's dead. A ghost. Don't mention that monster again."

    "Not a ghost entirely, and not entirely dead. He can be killed. I've seen it." There was a glint in the tarpit of Crow's eyes. Perhaps it was the reflection of the dim coffeehouse lighting. "They say you never miss." Fernand steeled himself.

    "It'll be triple, and I'll need special equipment. When?"

    "Half-time. Cup Final. I trust you won't be occupied. Your teammates should be halfway to the Vampire Coast to soak up sun and spend their contract money by then." The bird joked.

    Fernand recoiled at the remark. "I think you discount our chances at the playoffs a bit early...but you have a deal."

    "Good." Crow looked pleased. "After this week's match, you'll travel by stage to the Entropy training grounds. A marauderess and I are very close. Aludra is her name. Tell her I sent you. She'll know what to do." The giant bird stood up from the table and left the coffee shop. Fernand mused as the busy coffee patrons went about their business, blissfully unaware to the gravity of the events taking place at his table just moments earlier.

    It looks like it isn't going to be a quiet off-season after all...


    Week 10:
    Spoiler
    Show
    Game of the Week Preview
    The Drakenhof Returned vs. Feets Reloaded

    This week, our Game of the Week preview looks at a matchup between a team that has rocketed to the top of the charts in Division B, and a foundering garbage scow of a team with a future very much in doubt. We're talking about undead team of The Drakenhof Returned, and the skaven of Feets Reloaded. Read on, to find out which team the smart money (Like Aedilred's!) should be on this week.

    Offense

    Conventional wisdom would put the edge to the skaven on this one, but we at Murder! disagree. The undead have several scoring threats with their ghouls, and even their wights, while the skaven have maybe three, their two gutter runners, and Kowen. With the squishiness of the gutter runners, and the blocking prowess of Drakenhof, that number will be reduced very quickly, and after that, it will all be on Kowen. Though he is a great player, that load is going to be too much for him to bear. Expect maybe one touchdown from him, if that. Meanwhile, while it is difficult to guess which one it will come from, you can bet on one of the Drakenhof ghouls making a successful run to the endzone on a Drakenhof drive. The Drakenhof ghouls are too good, too many, and too well-protected for Reloaded to do anything about it.

    Defense

    Reloaded's defense has been a bright spot for the team this season, but that is a result of their skilled players being able to beat up on less able-blocking teams. Much like last week, that won't be the case in this match. Drakenhof are one of the most resilient teams in the league, and the skaven will struggle to inflict casualties and KO's. Adding to the challenge is that the undead are an exceptional team when it comes to blocking and inflicting casualties and KO's. The skaven's guard-centric approach is going to fall flat once Drakenhof starts peeling rats off of the pitch. With the offensive issues of Reloaded which we discussed prior to this, the skaven will struggle to put up one touchdown. Furthermore, the ghouls and wights of the undead will be a terror on defense, turning any lost ball into a defensive touchdown. Expect to see several from the undead in this match.

    Overall

    I don't think it really needs to be said, but it is quite clear that Drakenhof are going to dominate Feets Reloaded this week. There is a reason that the undead are sitting on top of the league's veteran division, and they are going to put on a clinic showing just how deserving they are of that spot. While Drakenhof celebrates their dominance of Division B, Reloaded on the other hand can only hope the matchup doesn't leave them with more injuries than they can handle.

    Prediction

    The Drakenhof Returned 3 - 0 Feets Reloaded


    Week 9:
    Spoiler
    Show
    Hey there, Bloodbowl fans, Varg the Ventilator here. Today we're going to be sitting down with my fellow columnists Valinor Silvenruth, and Edrad 'The Stepdad' Oril to talk about the exciting All-Star weekend.

    Varg: So, because I know you're dying to talk about it, what did you two think about the Celebrity Derby? Valinor, you had a great first round.

    Valinor: I wasn't surprised. My praparation was second to none, and even though I was facing such overrated players as Bull the Butcher and Folkvang, I was undeterred, and just went out there and gave 110%.

    Edrad: Oh whateva...

    Varg: It was quite an impressive performance, but what happened in the final? I'm guessing you didn't expect to be facing an orc in the final round.

    Valinor: Well really that is what it was. I had expected to be facing Bull or Folkvang in the final, and so it really threw my gameplan off.

    Edrad: Oh c'mon, I can't take this anymore. There was no way Valinor was gonna beat Frederick in the final round, and he only got lucky gettin' that far. No business at all bein' in that round, and that's what happened. Frederick brought him back down to the ground.

    Varg: Ok, let's move on. What about the actual derby? What did you two think about Fredo D. Stefani defending his Snotling Derby Title?

    Valinor: Top flight performance. Exactly as we all expected him to perform.

    Edrad: Absolutely. The man's a legend, and he really showed 'em why. Even with that wight from The Shadow comin' on strong, Fredo showed 'em who's da boss. I liked the performance from the dwarf too. Happy really surprised.

    Valinor: That he did.

    Varg: The All-Division match was pretty exciting. Your thoughts on the format. Success?

    Valinor: A resounding success. Not only did we get one of the best matches in recent memory, but the coaches were able to coordinate in order to put players on the pitch that would work well together. All of the coaches put forward great players, and we still got a great "All-Star" match.

    Edrad: The match was a-friggin-mazing. I hope the format returns for next season, because let me tell ya, overtime matches are excellenté. Huge success...huge success. Division A foreva!

    Valinor: Division A forever.

    Varg: So there you have it. Thanks for stopping by fellows. I'll see you guys back after you return from vacation.

    Valinor: Certainly.

    Edrad: You got it, pal.

    Varg: Thanks for stopping by, Bloodbowl fans. We are grateful for you stopping by, and hope to see you again next week.


    Week 8:
    Spoiler
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    Feets Reloaded Mid-Season Report!
    Crow

    It's that time of the year again, and with my staff off to cover the All-Division festivities, it falls on me to put together this season's Mid-Season Report. This is probably one of my favorite times of the year. Between watching the league's best defensive players obliterate snotlings, and watching the most popular players go ball-out on the pitch in a meaningless and deadly game, there is truly something for everybody. Mid-Season Reports are great, because it's the first time in the year where we can sit down and evaluate our teams' progress with a good sample size (and great team statistics from Aedilred), and really see what we need to work on moving forward. I've blathered on long enough though, so let's get to the ratings!


    Offense
    Reloaded haven't been nearly as good as they need to be on offense. With only three matches thus far in which they have scored at least two touchdowns, they are going to need to play some exceptional defense to collect wins. Losing developmental thrower Joe Nameless has hampered the Feets' efforts to put together an offense capable of going toe to toe with the tougher teams upcoming on their schedule such as The Johnnys' Quest and Red Sabres.

    Rating: 2 Selenes



    Defense
    Reloaded's defense has been good to exceptional for the most part, with notable exceptions against Hellbug's Heroes and Beyond Entropy in which they obviously played down to their opponents' level. Anchored by the dynamic duo of Stinger and Kowen, along with the exceptional linerat Green Nail, and developing rat ogre Bro Science, the Feet's defense has a strong core. Teams go into matches with Reloaded knowing that points won't come easy, and as a defensive-minded coach, I like that.

    Rating: 4 Selenes



    Physicality
    The veteran stormvermin and strong linemen of Reloaded bring a lot of experience to the table when it come to making blocks, and just as importantly, helping their teammates make them. This experience has helped the Feets to become one of the more dangerous teams to face, especially to opponents with weaker armor. But even tougher opponents such as the Heroes have been caught by these rats' hidden knockout punch. While their numbers aren't as gaudy as those of Blind Faith, opponents ignore Reloaded's physical game at their own risk.

    Rating: 4 Selenes



    Gamesmanship
    The skaven have yet to have a match where they completely melt down, and match ratings have been reasonably high throughout the year. The team doesn't lay down, and like their spiritual predecessors, The Strut, have been finding ways to win in unconventional ways. Reloaded put an exciting product on the pitch for the team's fans, and the players continue to play hard after losses that would sink less experienced teams.

    Rating: 5 Selenes



    Sexiness
    With the departure of Die Valkyrie from the league, and the lackluster performance of the Bloodknights' vampires, Reloaded has been able to rocket to top of the league Distribution of Sexy charts. Though a strong push by Morr E.N. Tezz threatened to pass up the Feets with MENT's recent blockbuster The Star of Skeggi, Reloaded held fast on account of the success of Stinger and Kowen's latest album (featuring Bro Science on drums to replace TOWR). With only the marauderess' of Beyond Entropy standing between them and the top of the charts at this time, Reloaded is in great position to take the Golden Thong come playoff time.

    Rating: 5 Selenes



    Overall
    I'm going to play my chicas close to my chest, and abstain from giving an overall rating which might give away the true value of a Selene as a unit of measurement. I will continue to say that thus far, I have been very surprised by the makeup of the team, and the way they have gone about playing their games. I knew going in to the season that certain players were going to play a big role in our success or failure, but had no idea how big that role would turn out to be. I definitely envisioned a high-powered passing attack taking shape by this point in the season, and recent events have put that to the wayside in favor of a (thank you to whoever coined the term) "dirty" approach to winning games. An approach that I enjoy. It's hard to plan for a team that basically plays sand-lot bloodbowl, and I am pleased with the odd places that this team is going.


    Week 7:
    Spoiler
    Show
    Reloaded Take Crow's Advice, Lose, Rather Than Another Draw

    In an interesting karmic kick in the ass, after railing on his team's effort last week, Crow was served a vicious defeat by The Hellbug in a match that saw the Feets' promising thrower Joe Nameless leave the pitch for good. The Feets gave as good as they got however, with 'The Natural' ending the career of star beastman Brunbob in a match that while overshadowed by the ogre match, was nonetheless among the bloodiest in recent league history. This unrepentant bloodletting has become a hallmark of the matches between Crow-owned and Hellbug-owned teams, and shows no signs of abating!

    But on to the news that really matters! Two of our very own correspondents, Valinor Silvenruth and Edrad 'The Stepdad' Oril have received nominations to participate in the Grintoof Celebrity Snotling Derby. Varg the Ventilator also received a nomination due to a mass nomination from Leriel that included the entire Styx Rivermen line. The celebrity derby is to take place prior to the official derby in All-Star Week, Week 8. At the time of this writing, Valinor and Edrad are among only five players to have gotten a nomination plus confirmation. That list so far includes;

    Folkvang, Berserker, Rampage!
    Frederick, Blitzer, The Fancy Lads
    Valinor Silvenruth, Blitzer, Tinwë United
    Edrad "The Stepdad" Oril, Blitzer, Shadowdancers, Invisible Assassin
    Bull the Butcher, Tomb Guardian, Styx Rivermen

    It is unknown if the celebrity derby will include just four competitors as it did last year. If so, one of the players above will be missing out. If not, things could get very interesting for the oddsmakers at Goblin Gambling.

    Ogre Bounty Picks Up Steam, But Will It Work?
    Valinor Silvenruth

    In the words of Red Sabres owner Aedilred, "There's a plague of ogres assailing the league...", and his senior players have determined, with the financial assistance of The Hellbug, that it is time to end it. With a hefty bounty of $5,000 going to those who can seriously injure an ogre, and a whopping $20,000 reward to those who can kill one, I am interested to see if any owners choose to direct their weekly training towards casualty infliction in the coming weeks. But if they do, will it work?

    Chances are, it will not. Ogres are known for sporting some of the toughest armor in the league, leaving the list of candidates to collect on the bounty a bit shorter than one might expect, barring exceptional luck. Of the teams remaining, the only one who may conceivably have access to claws sharp enough to act as ogre openers will be Feets Reloaded, who by all accounts had better not consider playing their top players in that match unless they absolutely have to. Red Sabres ogre Seb Sha Bal, with his exceptional strength presents a treasury-lite opportunity, and Johnnies tree(wo)man Bloomberg is a strong candidate to collect if she can return to her Season III form. Crooked Peak present a compelling case for being the first to potentially collect. Their high armor may keep their blockers on the pitch long enough to leverage their excellent blocking skills, and get a few ogres down. The dwarves hope that some of those big falls will be enough to crack armor. Surely, the bounty is a bold move by Aedilred, but as for how successful it will be, time will tell. As the season goes on, and the potential monetary and skill value of any felled ogres rise, you can be sure that some coaches will keep this bounty in the back of their mind.

    Preview: Crooked Peak vs. Blind Faith
    Edrad 'The Stepdad' Oril

    Hey there fanarinos! This week, we gots the big-boned baritones with the beards, Crooked Peak, up against the steadfast sultans of psuedo-science, Blind Faith! But I'm gonna be short with you guys this week, because yours truly gonna be goin' to the Grintoof Celebrity Snotling Derby in two weeks! That's right, why you readin' 'bout these two teams, when you can be readin' 'bout me? Well I'll tell ya what, ol' Stepdad would never leave you hangin' for a line after you was nice enough to drop by his little column. So here's a line you can't miss! Come derby time, Ol´Stepdad's gonna smash! You betta believe it. You tell them folks from Goblin Gambling that you're puttin' it all down on The Stepdad, 'cause that's a Norse-Yhetee-Deathroller lock! Um, and if you're plannin' on puttin' down some bets this week, put it on, um...Blind Faith. Sure. Seeyas in two weeks!

    Coaching and Development
    Varg the Ventilator

    This week as I was watching the Heroes/Reloaded match, which the Feets had no business losing by the way, I think I was as shocked as anybody when the apothecary pulled the black towel over the face of Brunbob. The beastman was truly one of the best, and also one of the first stars to be developed nearly from nothing, by the diligence of his coach. Though shocked I was, I certainly wasn't surprised. Brunbob had been carrying injuries coming in to the game that meant at some point, his career was going to be ended on the pitch. Ballcarriers take more hits than anyone in this league with the exception of linemen. Even with his injuries, Brunbob played, and played healthy, for a long time afterwards, and I am going to tell you why. You see, Brunbob was one strong son of a bitch. More than armor, more than apothecaries, that is what kept him healthy. Being as strong as he was, the beastman presented a veritable mountain for defenders to take down. Many a green lineman have charged in for an "easy" block on the ballcarrier to be met with the lightning fist of Brunbob's free hand. Strong players are harder to tackle, win more matchups, and consequently take fewer hits than other players. Even the most heavily armored players are going to get injured if they get dropped enough, and an apothecary who may even make things worse is a poor insurance policy. Short and sweet, if you have a player you need protected in an upcoming match, he needs to hit the gym in the week heading up to it. Not only does it give your team some unexpected extra punch, but it also gives that player his best chance at surviving the match and doing it all again the next week. Hopefully you get to exercise this option at some point, and hopefully it gives you the success that I am sure it will. Until next time, have a great week.
    Last edited by Crow; 2014-01-11 at 04:06 AM.
    Avatar by Aedilred

    GitP Blood Bowl Manager Cup Record
    Styx Rivermen, Feets Reloaded, and Selene's Seductive Strut
    Record: 42-17-13
    3-time Division Champ, Cup Champion

  15. - Top - End - #15
    Bugbear in the Playground
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
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    Default Re: GitP Blood Bowl Manager Cup - Season IV [Matches, Standings, and Schedule]

    Stop the stress, don't stop the mess - it's Entropy Time!
    (Powered by E=MC^Hammer!)

    Episode 14

    The final. The longed-for day, especially by Kowen... he still remember the humiliating loss versus Red Sabres on Season 1. Sure, Feets Reloaded took their revenge in the semi-final, this season... but he still feels the blame for being unable to lead his first team to the victory. He and Stinger decided to start a new career as singers, and were quite successfull... but it was nothing compared to the thrill of the game field. And thanks to Crow... Humpf. Who knows what's the real feelings of the coach for Leriel? Sure, his former boss it's no better than a venomous skake, but he really cared for Skaven. The Gonzalo brothers were his favorites...

    "Nice to meet you again, Kowen... "The Natural"... well, it suits you..."

    "LERIEL! BOSS! What are you doing here?"

    "I need to speak with Crow. He and Hellbug will be on the tribune, during the final. I want a place, too. I'm ready to pay a lot... I cannot miss this match. Show me again that I can be proud of you..."

    Kowen waits for just a moment - Leriel? He wasn't so soft in the past... But just a moment of hesitation was too long... Leriel was no more there. Well, time to reach the locker room and get ready.

    ------------------

    And so it began... the final... a battle, as ever.

    "You are a little uneasy, Crow... What's the matter?"

    Crow looks at Leriel. He's sweating - half time is getting near. He spoke again with Fernand before the match... everything is ready...

    "Come on, you're the one that set up this beautiful league. Remember? I saw your flyer while gathering the Stinky Feet... and you just returned from a travel under the pyramids..."

    Leriel laughs, looking at the uneasy bird-like shape of his colleague. "What about Selune? I cannot see her..."

    The referee whistles. Half time. Crow sighs, closes his eyes for a moment and looks at Leriel. Just a minute...

    "She'll reach us after the match. But let's speak about business again... I want Doc for next season, and I have to admit that you made a good job with the Math Teach---"

    "Ghhhhhhhroooowllll!"

    An hiss. Just that - and no witness, Crow is sure of it. Time to set up the facade.

    "Leriel! My friend! What happens?"

    Crow by purpose is messing up - he flies here and there... waiting.

    The arrow hit Leriel at his throat - better than what he expected. And Leriel... he's slowly becoming a stone!

    The polymorphism is quick - Aludra did a great job - and Leriel is unable to move and remove the arrow. It's a near impossible task... and the arms of Leriel are already petrified...

    "LERIEL!"

    Hellbug was at the opposite side of the tribune, but he managed to get closer - but too late. He looks at the petrified body of the coach, but there's no way to tell what he's thinking about him.

    "Just don't touch! He was turned to stone, but surely we can revert the process if he's whole..."

    "Revert? Don't be a fool... Do you not have enough of him? A dastardly, crazy, angry one - ready to sacrify all the Valkyrie to win a season... So angry to survive as a ghost, and so sly to merge with Nöther to get a body again..."

    Selune reach them. Her sexy and curvy body sways while approaching ... holding up a pillow, over which is placed a Katana.

    "Let's put an end to it..."

    Crow grabs the katana and with a single blow cuts the head of Leriel from the body. Then he kicks at the body, making it fall on the field, below. The statue crumbles in small pieces.

    Selune blinks at Crow.

    "So you finally managed to get your Mimir, my beloved?"

    "A MIMIR?" says Hellbug, puzzled.

    "The best oracle you can imagine. Leriel was always able to bring rookie teams to finals, before getting a ghost... Imagine... being able to tap from this knowledge..."

    The three of them ears a unearthly laugh from the head.

    "Forgive me but I don't agree..."

    "LERIEL!"

    "Well, thanks for freeing me again. It was a mistake merging with Nöther's body - I absorbed too much of his mind. I become too soft-hearted. Now he's no more... and I am inside this head. True, a coach is the head of a team... so this is fitting."

    The disembodied stone head levitates in mid air.

    "Nice idea, Crow, really well-planned... I was expecting nothing more from you. You deserve my respect. Oh, the match is going to restart... I want to see it from this new perspective..."

    Crow and Hellbug look at themselves. Is there a way to stop that... monster?

    "Come on, sit down! I just get an idea... about spending the treasure... some gems of the size of my teeth..."

    Selune looks horrified at the head. "A demi..."

    But Leriel interrupts her. "Hush, pretty one. This X-ray vision power of the head is amazing... Thanks, Crow!"

    The end... until next season...

    Episode 13

    Spoiler
    Show
    Leriel looks around - with a wicked grin.

    "All of you... I cannot blame you."

    Adhil has the worst headache of her life, but stands up, astonished.

    "What do you mean?"

    "What do you mean, BOSS? - is the right way. Some respect, Lady. Strange... I don't feel the urge to kill you on the spot... a side effect of the quiet mind on Nöther, I suppose. But let me answer to your question...

    I cannot blame you. You are the best way to show that you are NOTHING without a proper guide. MY guide."

    Leriel stops, then speaks with a firm voice.

    "You marauders? You barely know how to block an opponent, after a whole season.
    Dyrac? A super-hero-in-training who's unable to score a touchdown.
    The Entropy Wall? You're as good as mathematicians as worse as big guys. Only the "math teacher" deserve some respect...
    And you know? Is the ONLY ONE that's not began his career with this wacky team. It's a free agent.

    So... all of you... play your last match. Then you're disbanded. Once and for all.

    Adhil... you reached your purpose. The treasure is really full - you can buy a new starship, or stay here and spend your life with more cheerleaders than you can imagine.

    Better than winning the league with no money at all, isn't it?"

    Everyone is surprised. Leriel - Leriel - speaking so quietly? No angry words? No menace of mass destruction?

    Also, he's saying... right things. Sure, it was not a sensible nor encouraging speech... but no one feel the need to deny what he said. How's possible?

    "Roxanne, there's no need to argue anymore. You were well paid. And Toby... just wait, he'll return soon".

    ---

    In the meantime, Toby was running on the BurgerNinja scooter - but he was chased. A black BurgerNinja was getting closer... and closer...

    "Toby! Please, stop! I know the truth!"

    "WHAT? Who are you, Ninja?"

    "No ninja at all... this is just an outfit. I'm Fernand - Fernand O.E. Arrow..."

    "YOU?" Toby stops. "What are you doing here?"

    "Work - as usual. Let me skip the details. Just wanted to tell you that I know the truth. Dark Pizzas and all... not your fault. There was a spy in the team - from the very beginning..."

    "WHO?!?"

    "I cannot tell you... but just think at this. Beyond Entropy won just once - and with a reason. Someone wanted the team to celebrate their win... celebrate too much, and have time to plan everything with his spy."

    "You mean... CROW?!?!"

    "Let's say that the two of them have a strange relationship... the founder of the league and the first one proposing a team..."

    "And... what's your role on this?"

    "..."

    "Fernand, please!"

    "Well, I already spoke too much... but I know that you, too, want to see how this will end... so you must keep these info for yourself..."

    "Go on..."

    "Wait for the final. Half time..."

    He shows a small bottle to Toby. There's a label, with a single word: MIMIR...

    Fernand shakes his head. "Don't ask me, I really don't know what does it mean..."

    To be concluded...

    Episode 12

    Spoiler
    Show
    Roxanne screams at Dyrac.

    "YOU... Renegade... How do you dare to accuse my little brother!?!?"

    Leriel laughs.

    "Think what you want, Roxanne, but you'll never know the truth..."

    Roxanne charges Leriel but she's unable to hurt his unstable body. But wait... Leriel was not her target... he dodges Leriel and grabs the tied Nöther...

    "I WANT the truth, now! Or our agreement is broken!"

    Adhil moves toward her and her fellow marauderess interpose themselves between Leriel and Roxanne... all but Aludra, that moves silently and unseen near one of the BurgerNinja.

    "Take this..." she whispers, and she gives a small potion to the masked man, that nods at her. "I managed to study the papers of Dyrac. This should help all of us..."

    The masked man grabs with sure hands the potion and moves back in the shadows.

    In the meantime Leriel was standing still, grumbling lowly... everyone is looking at the mad ghost... his grumbling goes on... just to end with a horrid shriek: "Ultrablast!"

    Everyone screams, their nose and ears bleeding. The wail of the ghost is similar to needles in the brain and the pain is dreadful.
    Everyone is unable to move - all but Toby - he was somewhat shielded by Roxanne and he manages to take one of the scooters of the BurgerNinjas, running away.

    Leriel grins and moves toward Nöther. The Algebrist is breathing hard - maybe one of his last breath? - and screams with an high shrill while Leriel moves inside him...

    The body moves in unnatural ways, like an epileptic one, arms and legs stretching, the head twisting... until a single words can be heard...

    "FINALLY!"

    To be continued...


    Episode 11

    Spoiler
    Show
    "Toby! Go in, and call everyone out! Rudy! With me!"

    The skaven and the marauderess rush to see what happened to Leriel... just to face a dark skinned woman, wearing really little but a white apron and a strange white hat. The apron has a picture of a pizza on it.

    Suddenly some black-dressed and masked humanoids appear, near the woman. Two of them are holding a big bag... wait, there's someone inside, someone trying to free itself and moaning...

    Rudy steps forward but stops as soon as a four-pointed shuriken hits the floor behind him.

    "Who the hell are you, by the Horned One?"

    The woman laughs. "But the Pizza Witch and her BurgerNinjas, of course..."

    "Stops this bull****... I know you... ROXANNE!"

    That's Meredith - panting, followed by the whole team.

    The PizzaWitch/Roxanne Darknail removes the apron and the hat - boys, how is she able to wear even less than that?

    "You're right, Meredith, playtime is over. Like my agreement with Leriel. I was paid for playing with Die Valkyrie till the final... but the ending was different, thanks to you."

    She shrugs and points to her left.
    "It's not my concern anymore. I was well paid and I prefer not be in debt with him..."

    And he appears - something between a ghost and a corpse. Something misshapen, covered by ectoplasm or something like that... Leriel.

    The coach speaks: "It's almost done. I regained my speech... and I will have a body, again. A nice mathemathic one."

    The ninjas drop the bag... and you can see Nöther, bonded, helpless and trying to get free.

    Adhil shouts some insults, blasphemies and other gentle words to them. Dyrac steps forward:

    "How do you manage to free yourself, Leriel?"

    "The wall has just one limit: it was not designed to constrain physical entities. And with a monomorphism in Klein bottle I managed to become a little more physical... weakening it. Now I'll exchange this quasi-physical shape with Nöther's..."

    "But how did you discover it?!?!"

    "Dark pizzas. Interviews. Someone making a good job..."

    "TOBY!!!!!!! How could you do such a thing?"

    To be continued...

    Episode 10

    Spoiler
    Show


    It's warm tonight, it rained tonight
    The windows are all open wide
    Can't see the clock to check the time
    Nothing is moving...


    "Hi Alshain! What a sad song..."

    "Hi Rudy... Take a seat and come here... Pick something to drink... Some tea... Well, I am sad tonight..."

    "What a pity... Is it for what Adhil said?"

    "You can bet... I know, we are not a popular team and everything... But saying that from now we have to concentrate just on injuring our opponents... well, it's too rush, even for we Marauders..."

    "Take something to drink, too... I have some good news... and a song for you...

    Hey you, don't watch that
    Watch this!
    This is the heavy heavy monster sound
    The nuttiest sound around
    So if you've come in off the street
    And you're beginning to feel the heat
    Well listen buster
    You better start to move your feet
    To the rockinest, rock-steady beat
    Of madness
    One step beyond!
    "

    Alshain laughs. A sad laugh nevertheless. "Thanks Rudy... but I am really sad. The season is going to end... and I fear that Adhil will move. Away. And we will be forced to follow her... But I like this place...

    Talking in the window as the light fades
    I heard my voice break just for a moment
    Talking by the window as the light fades
    I felt the floor change into an ocean

    We'll never leave here, never
    Let's stay in here forever
    And when the streets are quiet
    We'll walk out in the silence...
    "

    Rudy shakes his head and replies:
    "Just a swimmer growing dimmer
    In the glimmer of a summer
    Waving gladly, swimming madly
    Never never going under...


    Alshain, I cannot force you to be happy, this is sure. But I spoke with my friend Mark Foggo... you know? the leader of Skaster... well, a gutter runner of Feet reloaded was at his last concert. You know? He's a fan of Doc... we could have him playing for us next match! Come on... he's a real ballcarrier... I myself have to learn a lot from him, too! And he's going to help! I don't know if this will change the season... but let's give him a try!"

    Alshain smiles and hugs Rudy. "Shine on you, crazy skaven... let's go and speak to Adhil."

    Rudy smiles at her and moves his tail following a rhythm in his head. But suddenly...

    "Alshain, did you hear it? Something from the Wall of Nöther?"

    "Don't worry, it's just Leriel wailing..."

    "No, it's... TOBY!!!!! What happens? You look pale!"

    "ALSHAIN! RUDY! LERIEL IS NO MORE PRISONER OF THE WALL!"

    To be continued...


    Episode 9

    Spoiler
    Show
    Hi all, this is still Toby.

    Boys, what a mess... the gym is a disaster. The lunchroom is a REAL disaster - no place for pizzas.

    It was a terrible week - well, the team managed to not lose, and it's something... even if Adhil wished for something better.

    It was terrible for another reason: we faced the menace of the PizzaWitch, and I barely managed to slip here alive...

    What? Never heard of the PizzaWitch? CICI, the terrible pizzawitch... daughter of the Shifty Manager of Doom... where do you live?

    Well, the PizzaWitch forced both Tuern and Morg'n'Thorg to sleep here for a while, since all the trasport are unsure... UH? But of course!

    The minions of the PizzaWitch are running with they Pizzascooter (TM) like pillaging demons!!!!

    Well, after all, this is not soooo bad... I had a forced vacation and I can have an interview with both star players!

    Toby: Hello Tuern. Hello Morg.

    Tuern Red Venom: Hello Toby. You look really a pro, you know?

    Morg'n'Thorg: Yep, the boy has some class!

    T: Thanks to both... Tuern (is it OK just "Tuern")?

    TRV: Go on boy!

    T: I was saying, what do you think of Adhil firing Dyrac?

    TRV: She was right, but that's not the way she will be able to solve the problem of her team. Beyond Entropy has a solid wall...

    MNT: Agree...

    TRV: (looking bad at Morg) ...but a wall is just... a wall. It does not move. The marauders are a chaotic party, they are not a structured team, there are no real throwers and catchers...

    MNT: Nor nice ladies such Roxanne...

    T: What a pity....

    TRV: (coughing): I was trying to say, skavens and dark elves can be hired in this team but they feel out of place. It happened the same to me. I asked for the ball, but nobody was going to pass it... this is not a matter of pretending to be heroes, it's a matter of roles not defined. A so messy team has no identity... and the Wall is too slow to protect the movement of a ball carrier. It happened to Dyrac, it happened to me, it will always happen.

    MNT: Well, yesterday I felt smarter than Doc... it was a strange sensation...

    TRV: Happens just once in a lifetime, does not?

    MNT: UH?!

    T: Well, Tuern, this is really an harsh statement...

    TRV: It is, but this is what you have to face. Also you spent so many resources to stop Leriel... sure, Doc is a star, but you need to score in order to win.

    T: What do you suggest?

    TRV: Apart disbanding? Seriuosly, after what you managed to do with Leriel, you have a future as demon hunters...

    T: Tuern, please...

    TRV: Concentrate on agility. You already have the strenght. Passing is out of scope for this team... invest on ball carriers. Rudy is obviously a candidate, but also Alkalurops... she knows to dodge...

    MNT: ...your efforts to seduce her?

    TRV: ...well, apart that, no one in the team can learn a lot on agility. But you need to try it - or you'll be the number one candidate for the crud cup...

    T: I fear you're right, Tuern. And... speaking about agility... could you please help me dodging the PizzaWitch scooters?

    TRV: Sure... but I think that this ugly one could smash them... it would be even better!

    MNT: Smashing time!!!

    Episode 8

    Spoiler
    Show
    "DYRAC, YOU'RE FIRED!"

    Hi, Alshain here again. Oh my. Let me update on what happened...
    The discussion inside the gym was getting worse and worse...

    "STUPID DARK ELF!"
    "A LEADER? YOU DON'T KNOW EVEN A LITTLE PIECE OF STRATEGY, ADHIL!"
    "STRATEGY? STUPID CHESS PLAYER OF MY ***!"
    "WHY DO WE HAVE TO FOLLOW YOU? BULLS**T PIRATE!"
    "THE PLAN WAS FROM NÖTHER! WHY DO YOU NOT FOLLOW THAT?"
    "I..."
    "STOP PRETENDING TO BE AN HERO!"

    Adhil slams her hands on the table, gasping for air.

    "Why do you think that the girls are following me, Dyrac? We are pirates, but we are more - like sister. We think at us as sisters. We don't need a stupid hero who thinks that he can grab the ball and play by himself!"

    "But the potions..."

    "They are good, no one is denying it. You're really good brewing them. But. You. Must. Stop. Acting like a sort of superhero!"

    "It's a side effect of these potions..."

    "DYRAC, YOU'RE FIRED! PERIOD!"

    And so - Dyrac and Toby went to the M.A.Z.E., while everyone was waiting for Doc and Möbius returning from the All Star game...

    And you know? One of Doc's fan club member, "Bluebeater" Rudy, was a skaven already supporting him when he was playing for Triple-S...

    I don't know why, but Adhil decided to give him a chance.

    You know... I cannot say if he's a really good BB player... but he's SOOO good playing Ska and R'n'B!
    Last edited by Leriel; 2014-01-24 at 05:30 AM.
    I'm back with my rats!

    Stinky Feet:
    Season 1 Cup Finalist
    Die Valkyrie:
    Season 2 Cup Semifinalist
    Season 3 Division-A Champs and Cup Semifinalist

    Beyond Entropy:
    Season 4... A messy but funny team!
    Sweet Feet:
    Season 5 and 6 Cup Semifinalist
    Ultimate Feet:
    Season 7 - The last season!

  16. - Top - End - #16
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Lizardfolk

    Join Date
    Jun 2010

    Default Re: GitP Blood Bowl Manager Cup - Season IV [Matches, Standings, and Schedule]

    It was a dark night, but fortunately not particularly stormy. "Damn per diem pay ain't what it used to be," muttered Princeton Foyer Richardson as he drove his cheap rental car the long and lonely road back to Rampant Professionalism HQ. The vehicle lacked the most basic of necessities, such as a mini bar filled with the choicest macadamia nuts, heated seats and controls, or windshield wipers. He was unhappy with how everything he had turned out. No, that was an understatement. The first rule of Houlio's guide to self-success in life (after having a big inheritance, everything is after the inheritance) was to never understate. No, he was in existential despair.

    This was supposed to be his big break, when he could come back to the team and get Sloan to pass to him more often than that blowhard of a team captain Cole. Instead, he had mostly spent a lot of time getting sucker-punched by his tree-hugging hick cousins. What an embarrassment. As he continued to drive, something suddenly appeared in the beams of the flashlights shoddily duct-taped to the hood of his car, and Princeton swerved wildly to avoid it. For the briefest of moments, he had thought it was a hulking, but surprisingly posh, orc. As he considered how ludicrous that would be, his car rolled over several times into the ditch. Luckily, the convertible cardboard-top crumpled almost immediately around him, providing him a soft cushion against the impact. Note to self, he thought, market a new brand of cardboard armor to ogres in the league, before he passed out.

    When he awoke, a strangely translucent figure was standing over him. The stranger thing though was not only that the figure eerily resembled the one standing in the middle of a road, being a well-dressed, hulking orc, but also that Princeton Foyer Richardson had the niggling feeling that he had seen this phantom from before. He couldn't quite put his finger on it though.

    The orc didn't wait for him to start as it rasped, "I'z t'ink we cud help each-udda out a bit..."

    Past Publications:
    Week 11:
    Spoiler
    Show
    Blood, Sweat, and Mondays
    It has been yet another startlingly murderous week for The League, and it's even more unsettling than past weeks if only because of the tight space for the few playoff spots. The next match between Rampant Professionalism and The Shadow not only pits two heavily battered teams (Roger Hare is missing both of his knee pads now) against each other, but two competing ideologies. The Shadow represents everything that is wrong with the League right now: weak-willed coaching, uninspired team building, and worst of all, organ-sharing. If a team can't pull themselves up by their own two legs, much less their boot straps, then how can they expect to keep it all together on the pitch? Part of the goal for Rampant Professionalism is to engender a Strong Independent Spirit within the League, and we are proud to say that all of our players still have their own innards. This next week, we will rise from the proverbial ashes of -1 AV permanent injuries to show the League what it means to take the pitch and play the noble game of Blood Bowl.
    -Letter to the Editor, Houlio


    Midseason Report:
    Spoiler
    Show
    Midseason Report
    Stockholders in rookie team Rampant Professionalism will be happy to know that their representatives on the pitch have more than gained back their initial investments. Rampant Professionalism has moved beyond the old world of using grades and values to score effectiveness on the pitch, and instead now we use an entirely value-based reporting mechanism. Extensive field surveys found that among our illiterate target audience, 100% of participants were able to more efficiently read our reports and get back to watching our "ludicrous displays".

    Aggressiveness:
    Rampant Professionalism has consistently been capable of outscoring most other teams on the pitch (always putting at least one point on the board). Having an entire team of players who are more than capable of handling the ball in a pinch helps to ensure that a scoring threat is always available.

    Growth:
    Rampant Professionalism's status as a "rookie" team marks the importance for continued growth and development among all players on the team. Skill acquisition has been great for team captain Cole "Black" Stacks, being on the top of the charts for SPP's gained this season. Despite this impressive display of adaptability, growth across the rest of the team has been rather slow, due largely to the fact that Rampant Professionalism as a team does not focus so highly on using violence to accomplish its goals as much of the league does.

    Resiliency:
    Rampant Professionalism's ability to prevent other teams from scoring on them has been very hit and miss so far. By using a combination of proper equipment and quick aerobic warm ups that don't involve binge drinking before matches, the players all have a much better ability to stay playing for a whole match than many others in the league. Additionally, native abilities of many of our "rookie" players go along ways toward making up the difference in skill against more experienced teams (look to the opening match against the heavily-favored team, The Johnny's Quest). Conversely, Rampant Professionalism lacks much of the punch needed to bring down other ball carriers.

    Health and Morale:
    For being a team entirely composed of elves, it was generally expected that physical injury and death would be a huge issue from game to game. While injury has been more common than it was among the Fancy Lads, Rampant Professionalism has fared significantly better than past elf teams. We believe this is due to the careful care of Cole's Succesful Uncle and the amount of time and energy the players all put into proper hygiene and self-care between matches. This results in a high-performing team on the pitch.

    TL;DR We at Rampant Professionalism are extremely surprised by the excellent performance by the team so far, and so no reason why this will not continue into the future.


    Week 1:
    Spoiler
    Show
    NEWS FLASH!
    Providing the Greatest in Last Minute Unreliable Journalism

    A: Hey folks! This is your favorite guy speaking, the Announcer! That's right, I'm here to give you all the latest in unimportant and unconfirmed rumors about what is going on out in the world.

    *APPLAUSE*

    A: But today, we have a special change in programming. Apparently, we have just been bought out the illustrious, intelligent and handsome Blood Bowl entrepeneur, HOULIO!

    *WILDER APPLAUSE*

    H: That's right folks, my PR people just told me that buying this station on KABAL Radio would do wonders for my public image. I was a little confused, because you can't see me, but I figured I should at least humor them anyways.

    A: Wonderful! So, what's up in the world of Blood Bowl? I have been suddenly told by my teleprompter that you are no longer leading your old team, the Fancy Lads. Is that correct?

    *WEEPING*

    H: You have heard right. I decided that my ultimate goal for the Fancy Lads, to prove that even in our enlightened and civilized world, you could take a slobbering feral orc, give it a nice new name, point it at another team, and by the end of the first half it would be smoking cigars and discussing the latest posh fashions of the month. Winning the cup has proven that this kond of team can even be winners!

    A: So why abandon that team so suddenly?

    *ANGRY JEERING*

    H: Well, I've always been a man for challenges. This league has often been called a "bashy" and "physical" league, with no place in it for high agi, low armor teams. I think that recent performance by Amazons and Wood Elves turns this misconception on its head. With my new team, Rampant Professionalism, I plan on showing once and for all that new kinds of teams can always be strong contenders in the league.

    *WILD APPLAUSE*

    A: So, where did you recruit your fine professional partnership from?

    H: Well, while doing a great deal of soul-searching and mourning the loss of the Fancy Lads, I came upon one of the Elven settlements looted by the Hellbug's Heroes during their frenzy to steal everything in site to fence for some gym time. The residents there seemed desperate, since the Hellbug and company had barely left them with enough fancy cutlery to have a full six-course dinner. I decided I had to do something about it, and the thing I could best do was recruit as many young urban professionals from the area as I possible for an "aggressive networking campaign." By the time they had finished signing the contracts (and found out what they were actually doing), they were legally bound to play this season.

    A: Good to hear, that clears up any possible maltreatment rumors of your players. Anyways, that's all our time for this week. Tune in next time for NEWS FLASH!

    *WILDEST APPLAUSE*
    Last edited by houlio; 2013-12-21 at 11:08 AM.
    Former Owner of GiTP's fanciest Bloodbowl Team: The Fancy Lads
    The League's Self-Proclaimed Perennial Favorites and Season III Champions!
    Current Owner and Manager of Rampant Professionalism

  17. - Top - End - #17
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Kobold

    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: GitP Blood Bowl Manager Cup - Season IV [Matches, Standings, and Schedule]

    From the Desk of The Hellbug

    Memorandum

    Alright boys, we're getting close to the playoffs again and we've got our reputation to maintain. This could be the hardest end-of-season we've ever faced and could definitely lead to our first time ever of not making the playoffs.

    "But Sir Hellbug," you say, "how could this possibly be harder than making the playoffs in our first season. Weren't we terrible back then?" You kind of have a point, but the league is much stronger now than it was then. Back in those days, you could count on half the coaches in the league to disappear after their checks were paid. Their teams basically bowed over before managed teams. And you already went and threw away our only free win of the season. I forgave you all because of the recent loss of Brunbob, but that won't happen again.
    Secondly, the league is made up of tougher coaches now than it was back then, coaches with the honor to face us toe-to-toe on the field of battle. Back in those days, we were basically allowed into the playoffs by teams too cowardly to send out their "precious" players against us once they had secured their playoff spots. Not only has nobody secured a spot this year, but I don't expect any team will want to allow us to just walk into the playoffs this year seeing our performances in the post season for the last two years.
    Lastly, we haven't had a bye yet so we don't have as many games left in the season as our competition. Things could indeed look grim if the situation goes badly this week and next week.
    However, don't give up hope! If we take things one step at a time, we can do this. In fact, our destiny is still in our own hands if we win the rest of our games. To do this, I have a three step plan that should make success easier for us. Therefore, I give you step 1: how The Hellbug will lead you to success against seemingly impossible odds against the fearsome lizardmen of Outrageous Cretaceous!

    1. Reminding you of our average player quality: On average, we are actually a more agile team than the lizardmen, and, while weaker, we actually have a higher potential to injure opposing players. Their truest advantage is really only their speed, where we are woefully lacking, but their skinks shouldn't be standing up too much now, should they?

    2. Contracting: We have hired the services of a human blitzer and are currently in negotiations with Lewdgrip Whiparm, the well-known Chaos star! The speed of the blitzer and passing options opened up by Whiparm with Trush and Bonecrusher should give us the edge we need.

    3. Magic: Our higher agility means that I have looked into hiring a wizard to summon a thunderstorm to muck up their ballcarrying (for some reason).

    More on strategies for crushing undead and dwarves next time!
    Spoiler
    Show
    On hiatus to bring us... The Hellbug's Mid-Season Report

    Burliness: While not the strongest team in the league anymore, due to the arrival of Blind Faith and Beyond Entropy, we still put up a squad that strikes fear into the hearts enemy teams. We do have the highest combined kills, KO's, and casualties, even if that data might be skewed by the fact that we haven't had a bye week yet and the Johnny's rolled over for us. In fact, we also, not surprisingly, have been facing the lowest average number of players on the pitch, too, thanks to Orgetorix's very strong performance so far this year. (9/10)

    Sagacity: Well, I wouldn't have known what to put down for this before last week. Brunbob was a super-valuable player on our team. What we didn't know is that he was covering up the fact that our offence was teetering on the edge of destruction due to weird ball-hogging by other players on the team. We just didn't play smart without him. (3/10)

    Nimbleness: We never have been, and we never will be, no matter what Bonecrusher has to say. (2/10)

    Caddishness: Again, our boys have really shown that they can dominate the physical charts when they put their minds to it. Above that, they have no problem stooping to hitting for career-ending injuries when the chance presents itself. Additionally, I've heard that the Heroes' trash-talkiong ability is beyond reproach. (8/10)

    Savvy: I'm just saying, if Brunbob had done that interview for the Entropy Times, he might still be sitting here with us. Just bad decision making on everyone's part. Blood Bowl fans are the most fickle of all fans. Also, we've been bad at putting away wins, allowing last second scores to turn into ties. (3/10)

    Stubbornness: Here's our other bread and butter. Our defense has always been considered one of the premier defenses in the league (despite some notable exceptions). We never give up, and our defense actually scores as much as our offense (at least, it seems like they do). The loss to the Guardians knocks this one down, though. (8/10)

    Overall: We're definitely not out of the hunt yet, but the second half of our season if tougher than the first one, so we really need to pull the slack out of our game. The loss of Brunbob will really hurt us, and we need to start turning our dominating rushing performances into wins. (33/60).


    Spoiler
    Show
    Lance Castel: Welcome again, folks, to what's shaping up to be another excellent week of Blood Bowl. I'm your host, Lance Castel, here with our rookie analyst, Manny Vegas!

    Manny Vegas: Excellent to see you all again, and let's get right down to what's going on this week. First up is the match between the surprisingly not-winless Blind Faith and the veteran Lizardmen of Outrageous Ctretaceous. Doesn't look good for the Ogres, does it Lance?

    LC: It certainly doesn't, Manny, but I wouldn't put it past the Ogres just yet. They've already surprised us this year, and I've heard rumors that the Blind Faith snotlings have something special planned for the skinks of the OC, courtesy of their goblin cousins. I'm gonna give it to the OC 2-0, but they're not getting away from this one with all their players still standing, if you know what I mean.

    MV: I certainly do. Players just can't take a knife to the gut anymore like they could back when I played.

    LC: You only retired this season; you haven't nearly spent enough time in broadcasting to reminisce like that. Anyway, the next match down the list is The Shadow against the Johnnys' Quest. An undefeated team against a winless one. Recod says it should be a blowout.

    MV: The Johnnys' really need to get their heads in the right place if they wanna be contenders for the cup this year, and I don't think they can do it if they start the season 0-4. On the other hand, since they've decided to actually play the game this week, they've got as good a chance as anybody at stopping The Shadow. What are they gonna do against Blind Faith if they aren't even playing against the Heroes this early in the season?

    LC: Hold on there, Manny. There was a big tactical decision going in to throwing that game. Look at last season. The Johnnys' were unstoppable until they lost their star thrower in the Heroes match near the end of the season even though they won the game. Many analysts say that this loss was actually the reason the Quest couldn't handle the Lads in the first round of the playoffs. I think sitting their team was a sound move.

    MV: Doesn't mean I have to like it. Cowards, the whole lot of 'em.

    LC: Anyway, I make the Shadow-Quest out to be a 2-2 tie. Next up is the Feets Reloaded against Rampant Professionalism. Let's just start this out by saying that RP really surprised me out of the gate this season. Two wins and a tie against the Sabres by week 4? That's just damn good Blood Bowl.

    MV: They're still elves though, I expect Kowen to tear a hole the size of the Empire through them, 2-1 Feets.

    LC: I can't say I agree with you, Manny, the Feets lack the usual Skaven offensive threat of gutter runners, and I don't think they can take the Elves without them, 2-0 RP. Now for a match I think we can both agree on, Nature's Guardians vs. Beyond Entropy.

    MV: You got that right, Ole Lightning hasn't lost his touch and that big front line won't be able to make up for the other inadequacies of the Chaos Pact. This one's gonna be a blowout.

    LC: Just two more matches here. The Bloodknights-Peak match will go to the Bloodknights if other dwarven teams in this league have been any indication, and finally, the premier match of the week: Hellbug's Heroes @ Red Sabres. The two highest TVs in the league facing off, taking pleasure in the fact that nobody is throwing annoying inducements at them.

    MV: These two teams actually have quite a history; they've played 3 matches against each other so far and all of them were a pleasure to take part in. The record currently favors the Heroes, with them having won 2 of the three matches they have played against the Sabres. However, the first of those wins, in the Season II playoffs, went into double overtime and only went to the Heroes because of shenanigans involving the famous and infamous Morr E.N. Tezz.

    LC: He just couldn't get enough of the drugged drinks that season, could he? Anyway, we may be looking at a match featuring one of the biggest rivalries in the league now that the Lads have retired. We'll be going to our reporter on the ground to take in the atmosphere down on the pitch. Ammy, you're on.

    Amateratsu: The crowd is ecstatic! There have already been three brawls by the Bludweiser stand, and they're still cleaning up the bits of the cultist who tried to pick a fight with an ogre. We also received a report that Brunbob was attacked by a hive full of African Killer Bees when he opened his locker an hour ago. According to apothecary Rivell Mastacasta, "He won't be killing the ladies after the game, but he's a Blood Bowl player; he'll play fine." An ongoing investigation discovered that they were sent by a Sabres fan, but he couldn't be found for questioning. The coaches already met and exchanged pleasantries before the game, so maybe this whole "violent rivalry" isn't as big as we all thought. Ooohh, but look! Another fight is breaking out in the stands! I missed the last one, but I promised I'd be more 'involved' in the next.

    Camera Guy: But wait! Your injuries...

    LC: Sounds like its gonna be a really good one down there. Manny, what are you thinking for a final score?

    MV: 1-1 draw. The Heroes have a good defense, but they won't be able to force a scoreless game against the Sabres. Arrow will connect with Pudge for one touchdown, and the Heroes will plow one in against a weakened Sabres side for another. The Heroes will inflict 3 casualties, and the Sabres will inflict 2, but the Heroes will have a large lead in KOs.

    LC: Sounds good to me. All that's left is to tune in for the actual games later this week. This is Lance Castel, signing off. See ya next week.


    Week 1
    Spoiler
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    Lance Castel: Good evening, folks. First order of business is a little bit clerical, but bear with us. Sorry we couldn't be with you last week for the season opener, but we were going through a little bit of a change in management. In fact, there are lots of new faces around here and I hope you'll get to know all of them. This brings me to our second order of business, to introduce you to the beastman Manny Vegas, my new co-anchor, formerly of Hellbug's Heroes.

    Manny Vegas: Hello all, I'm just really glad to be here and be part of the family here.

    LC: As you may know, Manny here was previously a member of Hellbug's Heroes, one of the premier teams in the most prestigious leagues in all the land but was forced to retire after an injury from earlier in the season was made career-ending in their match with the Bloodknights in last season's elimination bracket, which actually brings us to what you've all been waiting for: our predictions for the upcoming matches, starting with the Heroes-Bloodknights rematch. What're your thoughts, Manny?

    MV: I played the Bloodknights twice with during my time with the Heroes and we split the matches, both being exciting games. It could go either way, but I think that the Bloodknights' 11-man-roster will be their downfall. Playing against the Heroes, you're gonna see casualties, and one apothecary isn't enough for that.

    LC: Unless the Heroes start playing like their Season II roots. Passing teams have also been a problem for the Heroes, and the always gorgeous Valerie von Streissenhower could prove to be trouble. This brings us to the Johnnys'-OC match. I don't know about you Manny, but I don't think the OC have a chance here.

    MV: I'm inclined to agree with you. With Bloomberg holding down the line and all those quick elves running around, I don't know how the OC will keep them out of the endzone and build up enough momentum to score. Then again, there are rumors that the Johnnys' are looking quite a bit weaker than last season, so some level of choking is definitely possible.

    LC: Speaking of choking, what do we think about the ensuing match between the Sabres and Rampant Professionalism?

    MV: I think this is the first season that the Red Sabres haven't lost their first match. Could it be a return to form? Or is it just another fluke before they continue their plummet into obscurity? Never discount those high elves, they're a sneaky lot they are...

    LC: (aside) Wait... an announcement?... in person? (back to the camera) Sorry for the interruption, folks, but we just got word that The Hellbug, himself, has arrived in person to refute the charges leveled by the deceitful and slanderous Houlio concerning the raiding of the Elven homelands.

    The Hellbug: (entering from offscreen) Manny! Lance! Good to see you've turned this place around with all that money I lent you. No need to introduce me, I'm in-and-out today. So, down to business. All of you watching may be familiar with the recent account of burglary and pillaging that led to the foundation of Blood Bowl team so-called Rampant Professionalism. Well, I stand before you today with proof that the Hellbug's Heroes organization was in no way connected to those robberies. I need to give credit where credit is due.

    LC: And the culprits were...?

    TH: A young band of Chaos cultists from my home town. They were inspired by the success of the Heroes, and so raided Elvish settlements pretending to be them in an effort to increase our glory and the change in their pockets. I've had a talking with them though, and everything has been settled. It won't happen again, at least not under my name.

    LC: And the stolen property?

    TH: Confiscated and pawned to buy gym time for the Heroes; we really need every dime we can get. But look at the time, I have to go now...my planet needs me. (Bolts off)

    LC: Well, due to that interruption, that's all we have time for this. Again this is Lance Castel...

    MV: ...and Manny Vegas...

    LC:... signing off. See y'all next week.
    Last edited by The Hellbug; 2013-12-18 at 12:51 AM.
    Coach and Owner of Hellbug's Heroes, Sneak Kings, Sultans of Slaughter, and Commercial Cast-Offs. Season II and III runner-up. Season IV league champion. Season VII division champion.

  18. - Top - End - #18
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    GreataxeFighterGuy

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    Default Re: GitP Blood Bowl Manager Cup - Season IV [Matches, Standings, and Schedule]

    Voice of Gods


    Guardians Live to Fight Another Day



    After a bruising fight with Blind Faith, the Guardians prepare to fight the Feets Reloaded. The Feets are fresh of a first week bye and are ready for some action. Still, Lo Block, owner of the Guardians, insists that the Guardians are ready.

    "We went from a game full of bruising hits to a game full of speed and finesse. I believe that the Guardians can hold down those Skaven long enough for the win. In fact, I believe the Guardians can take home in trophy, even in their rookie season!"

    Those are some bold words coming from the Guardians owner, but do they mean anything? We are only going into the second game of the season and they are already making bold predictions. Perhaps, Lo is onto something, or perhaps he is simply trying to inspire confidence into their new fanbase.

  19. - Top - End - #19
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    Aedilred's Avatar

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    Default Re: GitP Blood Bowl Manager Cup - Season IV [Matches, Standings, and Schedule]

    A Gripping New Adventure: The Star of Skeggi

    by E.N. Phlegmming


    The sun was low in the evening sky, and the people of the Vampire Coast were making the most of it to frolic in the waves. On a recliner outside the casino, some distance back on the beach, Morr E.N. Tezz was dozing, the sunlight glinting off his perfectly-chiselled body.

    A shadow fell across him, cutting out the light and startling him to wakefulness. He pulled down his Orcidas shades to get a better look at the new – very shapely – figure.

    “Mr. Tezz?” said the newcomer. "My name is Skanti Klad. You are requested to attend the temple-palace at once. There's not a moment to lose.”

    He peered at the card Skanti handed him. It certainly looked official, what with the gold scrolling and neatly printed text.

    “The Queen of Amazonia?” he said. “Interesting.”

    Ten minutes later he was fully-dressed and standing in the audience hall of the Queen. Like most of her courtiers, the Queen was dressed in the traditional Amazon manner; most of her court were beautiful young women probably in their twenties but all definitely over the age of consent.

    “Mr. Tezz,” said the Queen, “we have a problem.”

    “So I gather,” he said.

    “Our most valuable state possession was stolen only half an hour ago. A diamond the size of a man's heart, which we call the Star of Skeggi. We suspect it was one of the Angelo clan.”

    “And you want me to get it back for you.”

    “You're the best man for the job, Mr. Tezz.”

    “Well, you've got that right.” He turned to Skanti. “Show me to where it was stolen.”

    It didn't take long to find the tracks of the thief, which led off into the jungle. “He must have picked up transport here,” Tezz said. Looking around, he spotted an unsaddled Cold One nearby and vaulted onto its back.

    “It's too risky!” cried Skanti.

    “Nonsense,” he said, pulling her up behind him on the Cold One and setting the animal racing off into the jungle.

    “From the sounds ahead,” he observed, “it seems like he's using a larger creature. We should catch up with him soon enough!”

    Within a few minutes a Stegadon was visible ahead, crashing through the trees. They could see a bald-crested skink on the back, with a smaller white lizard perched on his shoulder.

    “That's GeAngelo, the famous jewel thief!” Skanti cried.

    “Well I've never heard of him,” said Tezz.

    Shapes unfolded from the back of the Stegadon and plunged towards them. “Terradons!” said Skanti.

    The first Terradon buzzed overhead, the rider flinging down javelins. Tezz weaved the Cold One between them, trying to close on the Stegadon, then the second passed on the left, blowing poison darts. All of them either missed or pinged off the Cold One's scales.

    As the first Terradon passed back overhead, the rider flung another javelin, and this time Tezz caught it in midair. Inverting it, he stabbed upwards, plunging it into the belly of one of the Terradons. The beast screeched in pain and veered off to the left, colliding with a second one and crashing into the trees.

    “I think he got the point,” Tezz said.

    The last remaining Terradon swooped in, the rider slashing with a stone sword.

    “Take over!” Tezz shouted to Skanti, and jumped upwards, grabbing hold of the Terradon's claws. He swung onto the creature's back and punched the rider in the snout, knocking him to the forest floor below. Taking the reins of the Terradon himself, he swung it round to follow the Stegadon.

    As he passed overhead he jumped onto the howdah on the Stegadon's back, landing feet first on GeAngelo. The skink dropped the diamond, which rolled helplessly around the enclosed area.

    “You are too late, Misssster Tezzzz,” hissed the skink. “The Ssstegadon iss heading for a cliff – if you keep me from the reinsss we ssshall both die!”

    Tezz kicked the skink across the howdah and picked up the diamond. He looked back to where Skanti was racing along behind on the Cold One. It was an impossibly long throw, but he had to try. Using all his strength, he hurled the Star towards the approaching Cold One, then jumped after it.

    GeAngelo leapt to his feet and ran to the reins, only to find that they were tangled. “Misster Tezzzz!” he screeched, as the Stegadon plunged over the cliff.

    The diamond was still in midair, but there was no way Skanti could get there in time. Tezz leapt to his feet and hurtled after it. Moments before it reached the ground, he launched himself forward and managed to get a hand underneath it, cushioning the blow.

    Skanti pulled up next to him on the Cold One. “Where's GeAngelo?”

    “He took the plunge,” Tezz said, rearranging his tie.

    “Oh, Mr. Tezz, you saved the diamond!” Skanti cried, on seeing the Star. “But the kingdom of Amazonia has no wealth; however can we repay you?”

    He pulled her from the back of the Cold One to the ground, and she gasped in surprise and delight. “Oh, I'm sure we can think of something,” he said.

    THE END

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  20. - Top - End - #20
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Crow's Avatar

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    Default Re: GitP Blood Bowl Manager Cup - Season IV [Matches, Standings, and Schedule]

    The Murder Backlog: Part 1

    Week 6:
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    Reloaded Score First, Hopefully Last, Draw

    Feets Reloaded owner Crow had some harsh words for his skaven team after last week's draw with division opponent Outrageous Cretaceous. In a team meeting just prior to releasing the team for their Saturday off, Crow addressed his team.

    "Tie games disgust me. Look at yourselves. Look at your teammate. You let him down, you let yourself down. After the way you started that game, you mean to tell me that you couldn't score again? No, of course not. The only reason this team didn't win that game is because you chose not to win. It's up to the leaders on this team to step up in situations like that. Kowen, Stinger, Joe, Bro Science. You guys set the tone. When the score is tied, you're one play aways from victory. Can you look yourself in the mirror and honestly tell yourselves that you're incapable of making one play? No. I'm won't tolerate this kind of play. I'd rather see this team bloodied and crushed into the ground in a hard-fought defeat, than see another draw. We have a good team, and I have not a doubt in my mind that we've got a lot more wins in us this season. After you leave here today, to go do whatever it is you guys do on your time off, I wan't you all to think about something. Think about why you're here. Think about what it is that you're on that pitch risking life and limb to accomplish. Then, when you're out there on the field facing up against the Heroes this week, I wan't you to keep that in the back of your mind. Play with a purpose, and play to win. A draw isn't good enough. Play to win...Now get out of here and enjoy your weekend."

    Tough words from Reloaded's owner. Will the rats respond this week against the Heroes? Time will tell.

    The Shadow: Nearly Invincible?
    Valinor Silvenruth

    So far this season, the league has had yet another Necromantic team impress in the early season. Currently leading the league in wins and championship points is The Shadow, the team of Darfur Sinn-Féin. Like the Mistakes of Life in Season III, The Shadow has been dominant this season, their only loss coming against a reinvigorated Johnnys' Quest. In addition to wins against Crooked Peak and Drakenhof Returned, The Shadow has shown that they are the real deal with convincing victories over The Bloodknights and Red Sabres.

    So what will it take for some other team to wrestle Division A from their grasp? Nobody really knows. Every necromantic team the GitP League has seen has met it's end due to their coach emptying the treasury and hitting the road. In every case, this has left the team unmanaged, and unprepared for its remaining matches. Of course, late season death-spirals ensued. Assuming The Shadow continue under enlightened leadership, perhaps identifying what makes them so good can shed some light on how they can be brought down.

    As far as line play goes, they are really nothing special. They have two strong but not exceptional flesh golems, who won't be pushed around. Their zombies are little more than fodder. Numerous teams can match or overpower this line. On the wings, the necros have some slippery ghouls, and while these guys have had more impact than necro ghouls on teams of the past, they haven't been the decisive force. The werewolves? They haven't been the magic bullet of seasons past either. Certainly nowhere near the playmaking ability of Lupus 'Patches', or Amateratsu. Their Wight play has been better than average, but not exceptional. So what does that leave? Training. Coach Darfur Sinn-Féin has been utilizing his inducement checks to give his team extra team training, and this has been the difference. The extra practice working together has allowed The Shaodw's players to make plays which they normally wouldn't be able to make. This is why the playmaking of the necromantics has been so seemingly spread over the roster, rather than concentrated in a few stars. Of course this is only the theory of a washed-up elf blitzer, but what else could it be? It may well be that the only way to beat this team is to let them beat themselves. Either way, you can bet that the teams of Division A are watching the tape very carefully.

    Preview: Beyond Entropy vs. Rampant Professionalism
    Edrad "The Stepdad" Oril

    Yo yo yo, Stepdad here! this week, we gots one of my favorite teams, the Mad Mathematics Trio and their suuuupa-fine laboratory assistants with Beyond Entropy, takin' on some silver spoon suckin', sailboat sailin', investment bankin' high elves. I'm talkin' Rampant Professionalism of course. I tells ya what, there ain't not way that the Pros are takin' this one away from Beyond Entropy, and I'll tell ya why. Last week, the Pros lost one of their key weapons, Princeton Foyer Richardson. This guy wasn't just an offensive guru, but he could pressure the defense like no other. Without him, they're just a whole 'nother team. The Trio's gonna push the elves around like rag dolls, and there ain't nothin' Sloan 'Sunglasses' is gonna do about it. If you gots the cash to put down on this game, you betta be puttin' it down on Beyond Entropy, because this week, they're a Norse-Yhetee-Deathroller Lock!

    Coaching and Development
    Varg the Ventilator

    We're getting to the time of the season where teams are starting to develop, and stars are beginning to rise to the top of their respective teams. I'm always excited to see who the next new stars are going to be, and while you can sometimes see it coming, every once in a while a player will really surprise you. Of course, then it comes time to decide what to schedule into that player's training as the season goes on. This is never an easy choice, especially for players who display aptitude for non-standard training methods and DOUBLEd training sessions. But in my time in the league, I've noticed a trend when it comes to player development which simplifies things a great deal. Whatever that player is doing to make the strides he has made, the best coaches train that player to do it better. While it may seem attractive to develop a player as this dynamic, almost secret-weaponish playmaker, you will almost always be served better, or at least more consistently, by player who is better at what he normally does anyways. I'm not saying you need to follow standard development patterns with every player. But that you need to be careful, and decide if the trade off is going to be worth it. A dynamic playmaker can really help a team shine. But for every dynamic playmaker, there is another guy who never quite lived up to his potential, despite having all the tools. As we plod through this fantastic season of blood bowl, I hope every coach has great success in whichever way they measure it. Thanks for reading, and hopefully I'll see you in this space next week.


    Week 5:
    Spoiler
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    Interceptions Mark Exciting Week Four

    An amazing week saw four interceptions over three games, shattering the season record for interceptions. Also breaking records was Crooked Peak runner Waity Darkbeard, who's two in one game sets the single-game and career interception marks. Probably for quite some time. Regardless of how the Peak fare in the rest of the season, Waity Darkbeard's performance will go down as one of the greatest individual efforts in team history. The dwarf not only made two interceptions, but passed for a touchdown, and scored one on the ground as well. The spur in interceptions also allowed homegrown Feets star Kowen to notch the first defensive trifecta ever recorded. In Reloaded's match with Rampant Professionalism, "The Natural" recorded an interception, a casualty (a kill even!), and a knockout. Setting new standards isn't anything new for Kowen though. Last season, the stormvermin was part of a Triple-S squad that helped record the first 20/20 match rating in league history against Die Valkyrie. Though Triple-S lost the match, Kowen would go on to another first, performing with Stinger in the league's first-ever half-time show in the Cup Final.

    Bloodknights Painful to Watch
    Valinor Silvenruth

    I'm no stranger to struggling teams. Having been on one myself for the beginning half of my season in the league, I know what teams like The Johnny's Quest, and The Bloodknights are feeling right now. While the Johnnies have finally secured their first win, The Blodknights seem to be looking worse with each game. As a side note: A few weeks ago, I wrote that John T. Partí was not the answer for the Johnnies, and with his non-existant impact on their last game, I stand by it. The vampires seem to have an entirely different problem. I've sat down to watch them each week, and I really have no idea what to expect on any given Wednesday. At times, the team looks willing to commit to the pass, and at other times, are utterly devoted to the run. Their platoon-style ball-handling doesn't help things either. Derk von Duneheim insists upon lining up in the deep position, with Konrad of all people. Then the kick flies, and Valerie abandons her wing to come pick up the ball. At a glance, it almost seems like a battle of ego, as if the vampires are in constant competition with eachother, and damn the final score. Meanwhile, the thralls really do give it their all. If anybody can truly be said to be doing their job, it is these poor fellas. While they do have their issues with being bitten, for the most part, these nearly nameless fellows are the only consistent element on the Bloodknights offense. If there is one thing that can be said for the vampires' rampant one-upmanship, it is that even when they give up ridiculous interceptions all day long, they play some stiff defense. The vampires swarm the ball as the thralls struggle to make up for the blown coverages of the vampires; Which they actually do quite well!

    As to what can be done by Tychris1 to pull this team together, that is a difficult question. The team is painful to watch, and you never know what to expect. The discordant offense needs to be brought under control, that is for certain. Were I in the position, my first move would be to cut Valerie von Streissenhower. Her vanity in refusing to give the ball up, and recent mistakes with the ball when she does, in my opinion more than warrant it. I would then bring in another vampire to hopefully develop into a tackler the like of Konrad. With the main competing element for ball control out the the way, we put 'The Lord' Derk von Duneheim back into a position to show the skills which made him league MVP last season. That said, I have no idea if it would work. I'm an elf. I do elf things, elf women, and play elf bloodbowl. I have no experience with vampires, and this elf hopes that Tychris1 can right the ship before we have to sit through more painful undead debacles.

    Preview: Blind Faith vs. Hellbug's Heroes
    Edrad "The Stepdad" Oril

    It's the Stepdad, here to give you the winning line on this week's heaviweight matchup! This week we gots the Gods of the Gridiron, the Snotlings of Science, the Deacons of the Dogpile, Blind Faith! An' comin' up against them are the Dukes of Defense, the Counts of the Casualty Box, the bashiest outfit this side of your sanity, Hellbug's Heroes! All I can say is that it would take a complete moron to be puttin" money on Blind Faith in this one. Those ogres may be able to put the boot on elves, norsemen, and lizards, but we're talkin' CHAOS here! These boys are heavily armored, and loaded for bear! That's right, we're gonna see the two-time Cup runners up demolish these Ogres, and the sharp claws on some of those suckers means it ain't just gonna be snotlings gettin' beat neither. Everyone's a target! If there's one saving grace for Blind Faith, it's that ain't nobody got "Faith" in the Heroes' offense. Faith fans are gonna be lookin' at some favorable odds in this match, and even though it ain't a lock, you can bet your Big Moot sandwich that ol' Stepdad's gonna be puttin' a little money down on Blind Faith to win, even though they probably won't. So be sure to leverage your bet by puttin' down a little on one of the other matches this week. Good luck, Faith!

    Coaching and Development
    Varg the Ventilator

    Over the past week, Doc Nutsmasher, an excellent linemen on Beyond Entopy's fearsome squad, set a new team record in their weight room. Looking at Doc's "bill of goods" as it were, I was struck by how similar he is beginning to look to my old teammate Bull the Butcher. Doc even has one advantage that Bull never did, being his razor-sharp claws, which will help him, as he'll often be lining up against the toughest guys on the opposing team. When opposing players line up against Doc now, they will be facing the following: A player that is likely stronger than any player on their roster, with the ability to block well, pierce armor, and make it hurt that much more when he does. But what I'm here to discuss is what is going to allow him to make that big leap and become a true force.

    Doc's increase in strength makes him tat much more difficult to bring down, gives him a huge advantage when he throws a block. The players that have pursued additional gains in the weightroom have just occasionally been dazzling, but have always been as reliable as you could ask from a blood bowl player. I've seen catchers like Morr E.N. Tezz use their newfound STRENGTH to become more involved on defense, or throwers like W. Tell who used their strength to drive a power running game. To be short, if a player wants to go for greater gains in the weight room, you need to let him do it. You won't be sorry.

    Some players take another route, and that is the route of better developed hand-eye coordination, lateral speed, ball handling. Really, AGILITY in general. This is a bit more tricky. Guys don't train to pick up and move the ball so they can languish on the line of scrimmage. If you have a player who wants to train in this area, you need to carefully weigh what that means for the rest of your team. Chances are, if you're on a well-established team, with an established offense, this guy is going to dismantle any preconceptions you had about how your offense runs. If you're comfortable with your team's offensive capability, you may want to strongly consider denying his training request. Even (and perhaps especially so) on a less-established team, you need to be careful. If you allow him to train in this way, he will become a focal point for your offense. If you work with him, you may be able to ride him to some wins that you wouldn't have gotten otherwise. If you're not willing to do that, you're better off denying him and making him train some normal skills.

    Whenever a player is on the cusp of making strides in one of the four core competencies of Blood Bowl, there is some tradeoff to be made. The best coaches will either be the ones who know when to let it happen, and then turn it to their advantage, or who veto it, and follow a strict development plan for the player. Sometimes it is difficult to know which way to go, especially in the case of a player's agility. Knowing what you are getting into is the first step. Good luck out there, and I hope we'll see you back here next week.


    Week 4:
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    Reloaded Suffer Devastating Loss To Entropy

    Feets reloaded were utterly embarassed last week, allowing an atrocious three touchdowns to the offensively inept Beyond Entropy. How did they do it? Defense. The Feets were simply unable to withstand the push from BE's powerful front three, and were constantly having to fight from their own backfield. The loss was a sobering reminder of the difficulties inherant in making a run at the Cup. Linerat Brave Charlie made the ultimate sacrifice in the team's efforts to at least put up one single touchdown, which may come to haunt Reloaded as they take on Rampant Professionalism next week, one rat down. Reportedly the team is already in negotiations with Brave Charlie's faster, more nimble brother, Cautious Charlie. Our sources report that terms are nearly set, and both parties are now waiting for approval from the team's finance office. We here at Murder! are certainly hoping that we will get to see Charlie's brother join the team in time for Reloaded's crucial Week 5 matchup against Outrageous Cretaceous. With a good performance by the ogres of Blind Faith this week, Feets could be in position for an upset against the lizards when they finally meet.


    Crooked Peak: How Did They Still Lose?
    Valinor Silvenruth

    Coming off of their bye week, Crooked Peak did nearly everything right in their battle against Drakenhof Returned, but couldn't find the endzone. They dominated the physical game on the stats sheet, Waity Darkbeard ran like a gutter runner, so what happened?

    When I was with Tinwë United, we had the same thing happen to us, several times in fact. Crooked Peak lost two blockers early in the first half, nearly one after the next. This may not sound like much, but it put the dwarves at a manpower disadvantage nearly right off the bat. Much of the remainder of the first half consisted of the dwarves struggling to fend off a numerically superior opponent, and the fact that they still managed not to surrender a touchdown is a compliment to the tenacity of their play in that half. Tinwë would not have played so well. It wasn't until the second half that the dwarves began to even the playing field. The Drakenhof Wight regenerated from the dwarves' sole casualty of the first half. Combine this with the speed of Waity, and the dwarf runner not only had fewer blockers to protect him, but he was outrunning those that he did have.

    In the second half, Drakenhof was able to press their numerical advantage for a reasonably quick score, but suffered three casualties in the process. What this did was allow the dwarves to illustrate what they could do on a drive while on equal footing, or even at an advantage. Waity Darkbeard was unstoppable on the dwarves' final drive. While most of the Drakenhof team was prone on the pitch, or bogged down in fistfights, Waity drove hard up the sideline. Really, the Drakenhof kick was the only thing that saved the touchdown, being so deep, that Waity had to press his absolute hardest to even have a chance of reaching the endzone by the final whistle. Unfortunately, Waity had spent himself, and couldn't push any harder, falling just short of the endzone.

    So as you can see, one or two casualties matter, if they come at the right time, and a kick can change the outcome of a game, with a little luck. One thing is for certain, I think we're going to see another great game from the Peak this week against the Bloodknights.


    Preview: The Shadow vs. The Johnny's Quest
    Edrad "The Stepdad" Oril

    Stepdad here, blood bowlerinos! This week we got a proverbial battle between life and death, and philosophical debate of sorts, which will be decided on the blood-soaked pitch. We're talkin' 'bout the necros of The Shadow versus the wood elves of Johnnys' Quest. The necros have been hotter than a khemrian desert lately, and are tearin' up the opposition, and not just with them werewolves. Their ghouls and wights 'ave been gettin' in on the action too! The elves on the other hand haven't started well. In fact they're sittin' at goose-egg-and-three! Looks like an easy win for the necros, eh? The necro attack has buried the opposition so far, but that's endin' this week. No matter what their record says, the Johnnies are the better team, and John T. Partí is gonna start slingin' that ball over those zombies' heads. Those elves are going to score faster than Igor can say "Walk this way."! So yeah, the necros have been good, and are certainly ridin' high, but the Johnnies are about to bring 'em back down to the ground, then bury them in it! Take it to the bank, this one's a norse-yhetee-deathroller lock!


    Coaching and Development
    Varg the Ventilator

    Back when I was plugging holes on the Rivermen' line of scrimmage, I got to line up against one of the best linemen in the league, when our team took on Hellbug's Heroes in the GitP Cup Final. Orgetorix is still knocking heads with the Heroes, and is even having a very nice start to the season, and I'm happy for him. But I won't forget a conversation that I had with him prior to that match.

    The Rivermen had just finished taking our team photo, and I ran into Orgetorix at the Big Moot sandwich cart. Here I was, a rookie, and at this time, Orgetorix had been in the league for two full seasons. So we started talking, and being linemen, the subject naturally turned to bashing heads. Neither of us had any idea that I would be hoisting the Cup with Tom Gravy later that evening, but I got the feeling that if we had, Orgetorix wouldn't care one way or the other. What he told me, and something I've always remembered, was when the conversation turned to Bull the Butcher. He told me "Casualties don't win the match. Touchdowns win the match." Of course this sounds incredibly simple, but there is more to it than that. He continued, "Casualties are great to thin out opponent rosters, and over the course of a match, can make a big difference, but if you inflict them too late, they don't do much. But if you can keep them on the ground, no matter how you do it, while you stay on your feet, you've done a damn good job."

    Now I was always intimidated by the numbers of guys like Fredo D. Stefani of the Sabres, or Bull the Butcher, of my own team, but what Orgetorix said really resonated with me. I didn't have the numbers of either of those guys, but looking back, I always managed to do just what he was talking about, and he was right. Our opponents were always too busy getting back up, only to be knocked back down, to ever pose a threat to us. In fact, in the match that night, it proved to be the deciding factor against that heavily-armored Heroes squad. So I want to say to all of the aspiring linemen out there, keep it simple. Focus on getting better at blocking and wrestling them down to the ground, or guarding your teammates so they can do it. It opens holes in the defense for your runners, widens passing lanes, and ultimately protects your weaker players. You may find yourself racking up some more casualties too. Good luck this week Orgetorix. See you all next week!


    Week 3:
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    Week 3 Shaping Up To Be Extraordinary

    Another week is on the books, and as we roll into week 3, we have some interesting matches on the schedule. Feets Reloaded square off against their former coach Leriel('s Ghost), at the head of a Chaos Pact team in desperate need of a win, and feeling confident after their drubbing of the Feets in a pre-season friendly. Crooked Peak sits in a favorable position coming off of a bye week against The Drakenhof Returned, who have failed to really find their stride, but the Undead will not go down easily, and most are expecting to see a slog-fest. Meanwhile The Shadow faces it's first real test of the season, against The Bloodknights, who badly need to assert their authority to exert their will on Division A. All in all, an interesting week awaits!

    Johnnies In Tailspin, Partí No Solution
    Valinor Silvenruth

    As we see The Johnnys' Quest fall once again, we can't help but wonder what happened to the dominant Johnnies team we saw last season. Truth be told, the decline actually started prior to the Season III playoffs, when accomplished Johnnies thrower Dijon 'Crazy' Bone was killed. From that point, we watched in astonishment as the wood elves' play declined, and their once-potent offense stalled as thrower John T. Partí took over for Dijon. At the time, their woes were somewhat masked by the excellent defensive play of their two wardancers, and the tree(wo)man Bloomberg. On offense, the two wardancers took an active role, and with the aid of two amazingly-talented catchers, the elves were able to cover their deficiencies in the passing game. However, their decline ultimately reached it's fever pitch when a heavily-favored Johnnies squad was easily bounced from the playoffs in the first round.

    I've seen what a thrower can mean to an elf team. When I was captain of Tinwe United in season II, our first thrower was much like John T. Partí, in that he vastly underperformed, and that lack of effectiveness was losing matches for us. Sadly, but fortunately, he was killed, and a replacement had to be found. That replacement went on to lead us to the playoffs, and help rookie catcher Tirnen 'Top' Thirgail to score 17 touchdowns.

    Granted, the Johnnies lost one of their best catchers 'Itchy' Feet, and one of their wardancers in the offseason, but some players just have 'It', and Partí has shown again and again that he doesn't. Even with the presence of those two players, Partí struggled to be effective. Every time he shows a flash of brilliance that makes you think he has turned the corner, he ends up falling flat when you really need him to come through. That isn't what star players do, and it isn't what you want from the guy who is supposed to be leading your team to a blood bowl cup. Mark my words, with Partí leading the way, the Johnnies will go nowhere. In the opinion of this elf, it's time to cut John T. Partí, and put the reigns in the hands of the other Johnnies thrower Linden B. Johnston. Until then, let's sit back and watch the dismantling of the wood elves continue.

    Preview: Sabres vs. OC
    Edrad "The Stepdad" Oril

    Hey fanatics, The Stepdad here, and I'm going to give you the real deal on this heavyweight matchup! The Red Sabres, that bastion of early-season mediocrity, masters of the Crud! Cup, and home of the longest-tenured coach in league history, have started off strong and look to be on a mission! But they have to face Outrageous Cretaceous, who has looked even better in their first two matches of the season! The OC is unstoppable! Not only did they beat the vampires in week 1, but they absolutely demolished the wood elves last week. That big beautiful treewoman Bloomberg faces her toughest opponent of the year in Seb Sha Bal, but the Ogre is having his best beginning to a season yet, and I think he'll be up to the challenge. In fact, the Sabres as a team are ready to rock and roll, and their going to roll over the OC on the backs of their blitzers, who are gonna pound the OC skinks into fertilizer at Bad Badenhof this week. Get your bets in now, because this bad boy's a Norse-Yhetee-Deathroller Lock!

    Coaching and Development
    Varg the Ventilator

    "Why is this son of a bitch picking up the ball!?" is an expression no doubt bellowed by many coaches since the inception of this league, and no doubt will be again. Today, I am going to shed some light on the psychology of the players, and hopefully give you coaches out there some useful information to use when putting together your game plan.

    It all starts in the minor leagues. Unknown to most, the minors are much more structured than the the main GitP circuit, and most players are required to sign contracts as one of five positionals. These are linemen, throwers, catchers, blitzers, and "big guys". Minor league coaches are rigorous in their training, and this gets engrained in the minds of the players as they develop. Throwers are trained to pick up the ball, while linemen cover. Catchers are drilled to go upfield and get open on offense, while moving into enemy territory and pressuring the ballcarier on defense. Blitzers often help bolster cages on offense, while playing a pressure/killer role on defense. Blitzers will often be used as backup ballcarriers in the minors, and this carries over into league play. Chances are, your backup ballcarrier is going to end up being your blitzer if you aren't carrying two throwers on your roster. Big Guys, well we line up on the line of scrimmage and beat the tar out of people.

    So we have a beginning depth chart on offense. Thrower, then Blitzer. But other things can affect this as well, including ball-handling skills, speed, and most importantly, agility! In the minors, dodging is a major part of play for all teams, and surprise surprise, this carries over into the GitP Cup. Even if a player is better suited to actually pick up the ball, the guys on the field want to give it to the guy who can actually move it. This means agile players. High kicks and touchbacks are going to them for certain. If you have a slightly less agile thrower trained to pick up the ball, he'll probably scoop up anything that isn't high or out of bounds. If you don't have anybody that fits with the above criteria, it's going to be picked up by the fastest thrower, then fastest blitzer, and barring those two, your fastest player in general. Usually.

    Blood bowl players are an independent lot, which probably comes with the territory when signing up for a game that could mean the end of your career (or life!) ever time you step on the field. Because of this, running a successful offense can be an inexact science, rife with trial and error. Sometimes field positioning, kickoff locations, weather, and other factors can affect the choices your players make when it comes time to move the ball. Hopefully the insight into the psychology of the players I have given above can help prospective coaches to get their offenses running at max RPM. Good luck, and see you next week!


    Week 2:
    Spoiler
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    Season IV's First Week a Winner

    Our first week did not disappoint, and we saw quite a few surprising results. All indications point to an excellent season ahead. With a few more interesting matchups this week, we should see some good outcomes in the next few days. Though the shocker of the weekend had to be Rampant Professionalism shutting out the Quest, much credit is due to The Drakenhof Returned, and their unexpected draw against Hellbug's Heroes. We'll see if Houlio's high elves can pull off another upset this week against the Sabres, while Drakenhof has a tough but winnable matchup with The Shadow in a match that has already been dubbed "The Showdown in Sylvania". Meanwhile Crooked Peak goes into a bye week after their loss to The Shadow, which our very own Varg will tackle in his Coaching and Development column.

    Crow Expels All Media From Feets Training Facility
    Valinor Silvenruth

    Earlier this week, Feets Reloaded owner Crow announced during a press conference that all media would be forbidden from observing Feets Reloaded training and game prep for the remainder of the season. The move comes as no surprise from the veteran coach, long known for holding his cards close to his chest.

    As in the past, we can expect Crow to reveal his team's gameplans at the last possible opportunity. A prudent move, given the current state of the league. As the competition in the league becomes more and more tight, teams are constantly looking for ways to get an edge that can turn defeat into victory. One such practice, pioneered by Crow himself, along with my old owner, Oh My God, is to hire a stand-in team of similar composition to the week's opponents. This team is used to run scrimmages and test out game strategies. Though the practice was abandoned by Crow upon reassuming the commissionership due to "ethical concerns", in his words, we at Murder! do have information that strongly indicates that other coaches are still using it. As there are no league rules forbidding the practice, it behooves teams to do what they can to mitigate at least some of the advantage. This is what Crow has done by keeping his team's game preparation out of the public eye.

    As the league continues to grow and evolve, we will no doubt see many teams grow and adapt with it. One thing is certain, that this is not an easy league to win in. Great teams have made it to the playoffs, only to be eliminated in the first round, and only the truly best have what it takes to actually win it all. It is so tough that truly great coaches may never take home a cup, but that is all part of the challenge and appeal. Though I never got to hoist the cup myself, you can tell that it is an extraordinary experience for those who have, precisely because it is so difficult. Because of that difficulty, teams are going to do whatever they can to make it happen. Even if that means kicking the media out of their training facilities.

    Preview: Blind Faith vs. Beyond Entropy
    Edrad "The Stepdad" Oril

    Hey there! The Stepdad is back, and I'm ready to give you the skinny on the math-up, that is, the matchup of the fatties! Coming off of a bashtastic performance against Nature's Guardians, we gots the Gods of the Gridiron, Sovereigns of the Snotlings, the ogre team of Blind Faith! They ain't up against no pushovers though. Ready to meet them head-on is the Great Wall, the Exponential Extraterrestrials, the Bruisers with the Buttered Cat, Beyond Entropy!

    This matchup is going to be a close one, and the ogres on the Faith line of scrimmage are coming up against the toughest opposition line they will face all season. Entropy played well in a tough game last week, but these ogres are going to present an entirely different challenge. Snotlings are gonna be flyin' everywhere! Those ogres can fling snotlings at opposing defenses all day long, and you never know where their next drive is gonna come from. Think that Anoia's gonna bring the ball out? BOOM! Fedecks slips past your line with the ball! Whaddya do? You splat them, that's what! Expect Entropy to do just that while they try to get the ball movin' through the air. As tough as this one is to call, your ol' pal The Stepdad would never leave you hangin' like that! I'm givin' it to Entropy, two to zip, and you better get Goblin Gambling on the line, because that's a Norse Yhetee Deathroller Lock! See ya's next week!

    Coaching and Development
    Varg the Ventilator

    As we head into week 2, we have our first match that will be featuring a team coming off of it's bye week. That would be my old coach's squad, Feets Reloaded. The dwarven crew of Crooked Peak will be in the same situation next week, and then it will be somebody else the week after that. For those not in the know, a bye week gives a team a lot more time to prepare for their next match. This means that the team's coach can prepare more complicated and elaborate gameplans to utilize in their next match. Let's take a closer look at this.

    Some coaches approach this preparation time as an opportunity to work with several different players, to shore up weaknesses and give their team a more well-rounded approach to their next match. This is generally attractive to newer teams featuring players who have not found a niche, or who still lack practice at the basic skills they need to fill their role on a team. Another case would be more established teams who have wide gaps in experience between their veterans and newer players, which often results from a tight budget in the off-season.

    Other coaches may choose to utilize this preparation time by focusing on very few, or even a single player. Giving a player the training and tools he needs to take his game to the next level, or giving a pair of players a few aces in the hole to surprise the opponent with something they didn't expect. Now, you're not going to take an extra week and teach a tomb guardian to throw the ball. They just aren't wired that way! But a skeleton, maybe, a blitz-ra, absolutely! Of course then somebody needs to be able to catch it.

    Of course there is a whole array of options between these two methods, but Feets Reloaded this week, and Crooked Peak next week, give good examples of the ones I highlighted. The basic playing skill of the majority of the Feets roster leaves much to be desired. The extra training time can get nearly half of that roster game-ready, and give the Feets stars the support they need to go out and get the win. Crooked Peak on the other hand, has a great blocking core, as several of their rookies came into the season "match-ready". Where they have issues is that they don't have that guy that pulls it all together. They've got two runners who have yet to settle into a groove. With the training time they have ahead of them though, one of those guys can become the stud that Crooked Peak needs if they expect to overcome Drakenhof Returned in week 3.

    As always, the possibilities are limited only by a coach's imagination. A team only gets one bye week, so it is important to make it count. A win coming off of a bye is a sweet reward for that two weeks of preparation, while a loss stings that much more. Good luck. I will be back next week, and it is my hope that you will be too.


    Week1:
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    Welcome Back Bloodbowl Fans!

    We here at Murder! are very please to be welcoming back all of you wonderful fans. Murder! is the newest blood bowl publication on the Cup scene, and with the best staff from the Triple-S Times, and Game of the Week Preview, I think you'll find us the best as well. Each week, we'll be tackling the toughest issues and current events. Also we will be taking a hard look at the best matches each week, and provide coaching insight from our best staff writers. We hope that Murder! will quickly become your choice for Cup coverage.

    A New Season, and New Faces
    Valinor Silvenruth

    As with every new season, there are a number of new teams, and more than a few new faces. I think the most interesting of these newcomers is the side of former Fancy Lads owner Houlio, Rampant Professionalism. These high elves are going to cause a lot of trouble for the more physical teams in the league. Much like the Rivermen did to my team, Tinwë United, physical teams have traditionally focused on injuries and knockouts to slow down agile teams. This isn't going to work against the armor of the high elves, and I think they will do well.

    Next on my short list of new teams to watch, we have Drakenhof Returned. These undead may lack the scoring threat of the new necromantics, The Shadow (whose werewolves will do very well, no doubt), DR has two mummies, who are going to give fits to opposing linemen with their strength and reliability. They have four ghouls as well, but make no mistake, it will be their two wights who make a splash on offense for the undead.

    Up next are the ogres and snotlings of Blind Faith, who will not win a single game this season. However, the damage that they cause on their way to the bottom promises to be immense. While I can see a situation where a Snotling makes it to the endzone, I can't see it occurring often enough, or the Snotling remaining uninjured enough, to make this team competitive. They are going to injure a lot of opponents though.

    Beyond Entropy, the latest project of the eternal unliving ghost of Leriel looks to be interesting. With a rag-tag roster of misfits that features a troll (the superlative Doc Nutsmasher of Triple-S fame), an Ogre, and a Minotaur, look for these guys to cause a fair bit of devastation themselves. Whether their lone dark elf, Dyrac, can get it going on offense for them though remains to be seen.

    Crooked Peak, the league's latest dwarf team features dwarves from several separately-bearded clans, and look stout on paper. Without that deathroller though, I'm not sure how they will fare. This season's field has set a new precident for cumulative strength on the line of scrimmage, and while the dwarves have excellent blocking skill, it will be hard not to fold, even for them. After several roster issues though, they have hired two runners, and it should be interesting to watch their careers develop.

    The Shadow, who I mentioned earlier, should do well. The necros present a tough challenge, and one of the two werewolves will be a terror on the ground.

    Lastly, we have Nature's Guardians, who made a big splash in free agency when they hired Big Sess and Niflheimr. With the skill of their young players, and the leadership of Thunder and Lightning, I see this team doing well early on. Their low armor may become an issue later on however, especially when they begin to face stronger, more developed teams. In fact, their first match is against Blind Faith, and while I think the Norse will win, Blind Faith is going to feast on them in the process.

    But, as my experience with Tinwë United has shown me, the best of these newcomers will be those whose coaches stay involved, and make things happen. It brought my team back from the brink, and it won't be the last time. But for now, let's celebrate the start of the new season, sit back, and watch some blood bowl.

    Preview: OC vs. Bloodknights
    Edrad "The Stepdad" Oril

    Hey there ball-hawks, Stepdad here, giving you the best line on this week's Game of the Week! This week, we have the sultans of the slimepools, the masters of the muck, Outrageous Cretaceous, taking on the stylish, smooth, and sexy vampires of The Bloodknights.

    This is a tough one to call, but your smart money is on the lizards in this one. They have the scoring duo of Tenghui and Tlaxankha, who can hardly be stopped. These guys can go anywhere! But they won't need to because OC has lots of sauruses. These bad hombres are strong enough to match a vampire punch for punch, and these jerbronies are going to open up holes big enough to drive a deathroller through! I'm sorry fangirls, but you'd be crazy to place your money on The Bloodknights. OC is takin' this one home to mama, three to zip!

    Coaching and Development
    Varg the Ventilator

    When I was first approached to write a regular column for Murder!, my first instinct was to break the man-thing's neck, which I did. When they asked me again though, I reconsidered, and here we are today. I was lucky enough to play alongside some amazing talent. I trained regularly with two hall of famers, and faced up against a couple on the pitch as well. As part of giving back to the league that did some much for me, I'm going to share some of my experience each week. Before you ask, I am unusually well-spoken for a tomb guardian. I was an archaeologist and professor once.

    But to the nuts and bolts as it were. This week, I am going to talk about offense. Not just in general, but in specific terms, mainly, who is going to score? Things always seem to work a bit differently in this league than what some coaches may be used to. This is a star-driven league, and those stars are the guys who rise to the occasion and punch the ball in when it matters. It behooves the coach to find out, or even decide, who that big-time scorer is going to be. Maybe you aren't sure yet? That is where coaching and development come into things. No matter who is on your roster, "the guy" is ideally going to agile, fast, and possess an iron grip on the ball. That's all it takes. Keep that in mind as you coach and develop your players, and build your gameplans around it. Do those things, and you will (almost) always have an offense that can put the pressure on, and make the sudden break for the endzone. For those teams who prefer to move through the air, you'll find those attributes to be useful as well, but a focus more on agility and practicing the passing skills of accuracy, making safe throws, and developing arm strength will be far more important.

    Best of luck, and I will see you next week!
    Avatar by Aedilred

    GitP Blood Bowl Manager Cup Record
    Styx Rivermen, Feets Reloaded, and Selene's Seductive Strut
    Record: 42-17-13
    3-time Division Champ, Cup Champion

  21. - Top - End - #21
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Flumph

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    Default Re: GitP Blood Bowl Manager Cup - Season IV [Matches, Standings, and Schedule]

    A Song of Blood and Bones

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    Tastier

    Tastier sat in the cold and the dark, waiting. It was still early in the evening, and though it hadn’t been dark for long, it got dark early this time of year. Even with a fire lit and a pot of stew simmering, the chill remained. He drained his cup. It was sweet red from the vineyards along the western shore of the continent, more apt for cooking than drinking. He adjusted his cap and continued to wait.

    Some time later he heard the back door creak… “So, you’ve come.” There was no reply. He sat facing away from the door not turning to look. He knew what he would find there. The sound of footstep crossed the room, slowly, methodically. The chair behind his creaked. There they sat back to back, adjacent yet not together. “Should I ask, or …”, Tastier said.

    “Oh, Ye of little faith. Are you willing to pay the price? It matters not. It’s beyond your-”

    Suddenly there was a loud rap at the front door. This time Tastier turned to look at the door. “Did you bring friends?”, he said quietly.

    “I was never here.”

    Tastier nodded curtly at that, still averting his gaze from his present guest. There was another faint creak and he exhaled. Another volley of knocking ensued. “Coming” he said loudly. When he got to door he found Big Wig Johnson. Wig was the coach of his team, The Johnnys’ Quest. Unlike most of the civilized coaches he wasn’t high born, but he was earnest. He had the kind of charisma that inspired his players to make plays, and that’s what counted on the pitch. “Ah, Wig, what can I do for you? Care for some stew?”

    “Oh, that does smell good m’lord. Uh, but no m’lord. The missus is preparing dinner as we speak. If it please you I shouldn’t be here long.” said Wig.

    “Then, to business. What brings you to cabin this night? Are we prepared for the match with the Sabres?”

    “Yes m’lord. I believe I have worked out a gameplan that will defeat the humans in dramatic fashion. But that not why I’m here. I’ve noticed some things, I’m not sure exactly what it all means. Maybe it’s nothing but Bloomberg has been acting… strangely. I know treefolk are always a bit strange and then there was the incident with the vampire, but this is something else, I reckon. It’s hard to put my finger on. And then there’s Ms. Jumpy…”

    “Oh, Is that so? I hope you haven’t shared this with anyone else. We wouldn’t want the Spike Magazine to start spreading rumors.”

    “Oh, no m’lord, I know when to keep my mouth shut.”

    “Well, keep an I eye out. At the same time, let’s not create problems where none exist. The next I hear of this I want something more substantial.”

    “As you say.”

    “Tell your wife that I’d love to come to the Hearth Warming day dinner. Oh, and before you leave, would mind fetching me some firewood from out back? I’m afraid these old bones don’t move as well as they used to.

    “It’s a cold one tonight m’lord. I’ll be back right quick.”

    “Thanks, Wig”

    Wig shuffled out the back door. The wind whipped in through the door in the brief moment when it was opened and the fire flickered. It snapped back to life and then in another instant, winked out.


    Chapter 1
    Spoiler
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    Jah Na’vi
    Jah Na’vi sat on the deck and bit down firmly on wedge of lime. She formed a sour scowl, the green rind visible from between her lips. The fruit was more than just a pleasure, it was a necessity. It had been more than a fortnight since her departure shortly after the match against the Vampires and elves are more vulnerable to scurvy than men. She’d have preferred the with a ginger beer and some ice but both were luxuries here, so far south of her homeland.

    Jah Na’vi reached into her pocket and plucked out an envelope and held it up to the sunlight. Still she couldn’t make out the characters. Tastier had given it to her, claiming to have exclusive knowledge of certain secrets. He’d promised her and adventure and forbidden her from opening until she reached Hexoatl, a Lizardman bastion on the shore of the southern ocean. “Once you arrive you may open the envelope, but not before.” It seemed like a queer sort of command to her. Why would place matter? She cleared her mind and grabbed another wedge.

    “Oi, Na’vi, whaddaya have there?” Pigskin exclaimed.

    Pigskin was a member of the crew- the human crew of the Astrea. Pigskin wasn’t the name his mother gave him of course, that was Gerald Somersauce. The line was that he wasn’t named after the ball of the same name, but rather that his father was a pig, hence pig’s kin.

    “Oh, nothing important”, Jah Na’vi said. “Just wondering what’s in store for me when we get there”

    “Wondering what the reptiles have in store for you, eh? You should be practicing your snaketongue with Hipotle. No one does it better than him.”

    “I am practissssssing” she said in her best reptilian. She thought for a second and returned to the common tongue not knowing how to say what she wanted “Hey, do you want to come with me when we get to Hexoatl? I’ve coin enough to for us to stay at an Inn until the Astrea returns to port. I can’t rightly say what we’ll be doing, but it’ll be more lighter with a friend.”

    “Now that’s a strange thing to say missy, uh, I mean miss Jah Na’vi.” He trailed off. She watched as he considered her proposition. “You certainly could do with a better translator and that’s a fact. I’m not born to it as Hipotle is, but I know the important things at least. Let me just ask the captain.”

    “Alright, Mr. Somersauce. Elves may be known for their patience, but it’s not polite to keep a lady waiting” Jah Na’vi taunted. They smirked at each other for an instant and then she nimbly dropped down to the main deck and slipped back into her cabin.
    Last edited by Tastier; 2013-12-18 at 12:10 AM.
    Murder, Arson, & Jaywalking - Khorne Daemons of the GITP Fantasy Blood Bowl League

  22. - Top - End - #22
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    Default Re: GitP Blood Bowl Manager Cup - Season IV [Matches, Standings, and Schedule]

    Crooked Peak Midseason Report

    Waity doing well. Twitchy victim of poor coaching.

    I was told to sum up my thoughts on my team and turn it into Crow. I've divided the team up into different areas, and will average the scores to get an overall.

    Defense

    We've played six games so far, and have only let up 7 touchdowns. Both our runners have assisted here significantly. Waity managed to get two interceptions in a single game, while Boomy has left a few of our opponents wondering what hit them.

    But our runners aren't the only source of defense. Twitchy has been excellent, managing to give casualties to quite a few opponents, and is currently battling for the top on that leader board. Happy got fed up during our match with the Red Sabres and snapped the poor opposition's neck. And most of the Blockers have left some indication of them playing on a different team.

    The thing I find most annoying is the fact that our lone Blitzer has failed to do anything. I'm not sure if he's just not seeing play, or if he's getting shut down. Whatever it is, maybe Crow will tell me when he reads this. But as we near finals, it's shape up or ship out.

    Defense: I'm not happy with the number of points we're letting the opponent put up, but other than motivate the team more I'm not sure what to do.

    6/10

    Offense

    Waity has been lighting up the scoreboard. He's hucked passes, he's run the ball. And he's consistently been able to get the ball to the endzone. In the six games we've played he's put up five points, and thrown a pass that wound up in a touchdown immediately. The issue is the amount of time I have to put in with him. We've been playing a lot of the teams with a high value early in the season, and have been able to afford a Wizard for him in every single match. After all-stars we won't be getting as much inducements, and so he'll likely be less agile than he has been.

    My other force on offense is Boomy, and though he's not seeing as much practice time as Waity he's still making himself useful on defense. He's only managed to pick up two touchdowns, but that's more than all of the non-runners put together. When Waity started hurling the ball against the Bloodknights Boomy was ready. And he's managed to get the ball in a one vs one against a more experienced opponent. He is my best all around player, and I appreciate his ability to do whatever is necessary for the team. And that is why as of this writing Boomy has been declared Team Captain.

    Offense: I certainly didn't see us putting up 7 points in six games. Waity is taking the running game by storm, and if the season ended now I believe that he would win the Offensive Rookie of the Year award. 5 Touchdown might not seem like much, but he's a dwarf. In the second spot for Yards Rushed.

    7/10

    Physicality

    Crooked Peak has never gone a match without getting a casualty. In our last match we got more casualties than ogres. Twitchy has been great here, but I wish he was willing to spend more time working with his teammates.

    Happy managed to kill a human. I apologize for citing it so often especially after this human's coach just gave us money, that was definitely not a bribe, but Not many have managed to.

    Casualties: Teams tend to leave matches with us with more injuries than they went in with, and that will make it easier later in the season, especially during finals.

    9/10

    Survivability

    We have yet to get injured. No one has missed a match, no one has left a game any more than sore. That means later in the season we'll be able to have a larger treasury, which will lead to a more experienced team next year.

    10/10

    Total Score

    So far we're doing okay. If the season ended today we wouldn't make playoffs, but we would play the Red Sabres for the Crud Cup. This is actually better than I thought we would be doing right now, but now that we've shown everyone we can do well against teams that aren't doing very well, I want to move up a few steps.

    8/10

    The Future

    Before these last two games I was already in negotiations with a group of elves about coaching them next season. But now those are on hold, and I'm going to take this team where they need to go. Maybe this will attract some attention to a few players, and the three dwarves I'll be sending to various functions for all-star week will wind up picking up some new tricks. At this moment I'll be coaching Crooked Peak next season, but stuff might happen.

    Who knows? Maybe we'll win something.
    Crooked Peak Seasons IV-V: 11/8/4 Cup Semifinalist, Cup Quarterfinalist, Coach of the losing All-star team (Season V)
    Treeman's Triumph Seasons VI: 3/8/2 Loser in the Crud! Cup Match
    Legends of Jam Season VII: 6/3/2 Winner of the Longball Derby, Division B Champion, Cup Semifinalist

  23. - Top - End - #23
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    Default Re: GitP Blood Bowl Manager Cup - Season IV [Matches, Standings, and Schedule]

    The Sabreur: Behind the Scenes at the Wreck

    The rain poured down outside the half-built dressing room at Bad Badenhof, the gloom punctured only by the flickering artificial lamps. Visible in the half-light were the artifacts displayed on the walls to attempt to improve team morale: the cups and trophies of seasons past, together with more esoteric reminiscences: the Saurus head that N.Rico Gleyzass had smuggled off the pitch under his jersey, now stuffed and mounted; a dedicated Jeremiah Kool helmet; a bronze replica of Morr E.N. Tezz's moustache; a snapshot of Seb Sha Bal and Doc Nutsmasher posing with necklaces of vampire teeth; the chainsaw Helmut Wulf had snapped off in Oak; a platinum copy of Fredo's debut album.

    At ground level, the scene was more despondent. Fernand sat in a corner being fitted with an eyepatch, while Fredo was lain full stretch on one of the benches as Skeggjöld tried to support his head with old copies of Oh Hell! Magazine featuring signed pictures of the team. An uneasy-looking gaggle of rookie players sat on their own along the long wall, not daring to express how badly they thought the team's player exchanges had gone.

    “Right then lads,” Lou E. van Gall said, striding in. “No use sitting around feeling sorry for yourself, is there. Sit up!”

    Fredo sat up too quickly and collapsed back onto the pile of magazines with a groan.

    “I know the last few weeks haven't gone as we might have hoped-”

    His words were drowned out by a chorus of hollow laughter.

    “-But there's no need to give up hope just yet! We've been here before, we can do it again. And I'm not the only one who thinks so.” He stepped away from the door, and some of the more inexperienced players recoiled from the garish pink-and-purple-clad figure that emerged from behind him.

    “Evening lads,” said Aedilred (for it was he). “I know you might be a bit down in the dumps after the player swap cockup, so I reckon you could benefit from some inspirational words.” He dragged over a sponsor's complimentary crate of perfume and stood on it, taking some cue cards from his pocket.

    “Three-score and seven years ago this team brought forth in this league- ”

    Lou E. van Gall coughed.

    “What?”

    “More like eighteen months, sir.”

    “Really? Seems longer.” He turned back to the squad. “A half-score and seven months ago this team brought forth in this league a cup victory, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all teams are created equal with a value of one million gold pieces.

    “But somewhere along the way, we changed. We let people stick their fingers in our faces and tell us we're no good. And when things got hard, we started looking for something to blame, like a big shadow."

    "Now you mention it," Karol said, "it was the Shadow that started all this, gave us our first loss of the season, disrupted our gameplay..."

    "Not The Shadow, you clots! A shadow! It's a simile!"

    "Does she play for Beyond Entropy?" Merv asked.

    "No, it's a figure of speech. Look... er. Let me tell you something you already know. They're a very mean and nasty team-"

    "Beyond Entropy?" Rick E. Martin asked, puzzled. "But we've already played them."

    "No, he means The Shadow," Merv said.

    "Blind Faith! The team you're playing next week! Where was I, ok. They're a very mean and nasty team, and nobody is going to hit as hard as them. But it ain't about how hard you hit, it's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now if you know what you're worth then go out and get what you're worth, but you've got to be willing to take the hits!”

    "Like when you tripped over a boot at the All-Division afterparty and spent a week in hospital?" Pudge Kash asked. Aedilred chose to pretend he hadn't heard that. Threats of contract termination weren't terribly effective against any of the squad's few remaining uninjured stars.

    “Now in less than a week," Aedilred continued, "you will be starting the greatest match in the history of human teams in this league. 'Human': That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences any more. We will be united in our common interests-”

    Trey C. Dikk had his hand up.

    “What is it now?”

    “We're not all human, though, are we sir? I mean, Raf's an ogre, and you're, what, a half-elf or something? And we're playing against ogres, so is racial harmony really the sort of thing you want to be encouraging?”

    “Well, you know what I mean, use your imaginations!”

    “I'm pretty sure the reason we hired them is that they don't have any,” Lou muttered.

    “I've lost my place now,” Aedilred said, shuffling his cards. “Oh yeah, here we are – we will fight on the line of scrimmage, we shall fight in the wide zones, we shall fight in the stands and on the sidelines and in the endzones, and we will never surrender. Should we win the day, the twelfth week of the season will no longer be known as the week Göll posed for the calendar or that time Rampage! lost to a bunch of orphaned Dark Elves-

    Some of the older players chuckled.

    “- but the week the Sabres declared in one voice: we will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on! We're going to survive! I don't care what the scoreboard says! They may take our lives but they can never take our season!”

    There was some applause from the rookies. Fredo laughed and fell off the bench. Skeggjöld bent over to help him up, receiving more universal applause and some whistles. Lara cleared her throat meaningfully, and the noise stopped abruptly; nobody wanted to annoy the apothecary.

    Aedilred left, looking pleased with himself. Once sure he was out of earshot, Bry N.O. Dryskull turned to Ronald.

    “The idiot's guide to inspirational speeches aside, do you really reckon we can do this?”

    Ronald shrugged. “Three from three? We've done it before, but not under this pressure. Nuffle only knows; the team's likely finished anyway.” He flexed a brawny arm and made a fist, then gave a gap-toothed grin. “But I figure if we gotta go out, we may as well go out swinging.”



    Spoiler: Mid-Season Report
    Show
    The Sabres enjoyed their best ever start to a season, going unbeaten for the first four weeks. Since then they've endured an unwonted mid-season slump, falling to three successive defeats. What's going on, and are the Sabres still in the mix for the postseason? We're here with team owner, director and ogricidal campaigner, Aedilred.

    TS: Glad to have you here.
    A: Ahoy-hoy.

    TS: What's going wrong on the pitch?
    A: I think it's pretty straightforward actually. For the three matches we've lost we went in under-strength, missing a blitzer, or a thrower, maybe relying on a journeyman. The Heroes didn't kill any of our guys this time but they did start a bit of an injury spiral.

    TS: Do you really think that made that much of a difference?
    A: Absolutely. The team operate best when there are four blitzers on the pitch, and with one of them missing and Merv not pulling his weight it was always going to be tough. Then we had that ridiculous business with the bag of bombs that someone insisted we use, and the lineup in the last game, well, it was always going to be a massacre.

    TS: Can the team recover by the end of the season?
    A: It's a tough second half. We've already played all but one of our divisional games, and the last one is against the Johnnies after they come off a bye, so there aren't any cheap points left. Still, we have a couple of winnable matches in there so a wild card is still well within reach.

    TS: Any more signings or star player appearances on the cards?
    A: We might replace Seb, that's still up in the air. Ideally we'd like another catcher too, but that might have to wait, and it would be nice to get some more training in... We'll see. As for stars, we've been in discussions with a number of them, including Gregor Meissen who we nearly got in for Star Player Week, but with the treasury getting devoured by injury cover it's a bit of an ask.

    Ratings

    Offence: 7/10. The Sabres have become a really good quick-strike team, but their running game has been off the mark. They've yet to end up with the bagel, but haven't scored as many as they're capable of.

    Construction: 5/10. Building at Bad Badenhof has fallen well behind schedule, with only one rickety stand completed so far. But it is still ongoing and hasn't got completely mired yet.

    Defence: 5/10. Failure to keep out some pretty average running attacks is disappointing, but the team has stayed in touch with most opponents. Given the players the team has available, the casualty and KO count has been lower than could be expected.

    Ladykilling: 8/10. Leaving aside delicious gossip about Fredo and Skeggjöld, the team has performed well, especially against Beyond Entropy. MENT did his bit for the general effort as well with his venture into publishing.

    Lawsuits: 10/10. The team has done well at keeping out of trouble this year, with no civil damage, divorce, paternity or fraud cases brought against any players, or at least, none that have made it into the papers.
    Last edited by Aedilred; 2013-12-19 at 01:24 PM.
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  24. - Top - End - #24
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    Default Re: GitP Blood Bowl Manager Cup - Season IV [Matches, Standings, and Schedule]

    The Drakenhof Returned Mid-Season Report

    Offense

    Although often able to adequately protect ball-carriers, the DR’s offensive game suffers from the primal narcissism of the ghoul pack, as each often seeks to bring glory to the team single-handedly. That said, for a slower team in the league, they have been able to regularly put points on the board, and their ball carriers, selfish though they might be, have shown an aptitude for survival.

    5/10

    Defense

    One would expect more from a team boasting some of the meanest linemen in the league, and with a host of players ready and itching for a fight. Although this strength gives them an offensive advantage, they have rarely been able to translate this into any kind of truly effective defensive strategy; especially against the quicker and more dexterous teams.

    2/10

    Survivability

    A rare few injuries sustained, including the unexpected “demise” of R.I.P. The setback was far from a dire one, as the team necromancer simply visited the same Sylvanian graveyard for his replacement, but one thinks that one could expect better from an undead team; especially given the relative lack of truly violent opponents so far this season. That said, the lack of any long-term injuries does speak to some level of toughness.

    5/10

    Aggression

    Here the Returned have acquitted themselves rather well, although credit must be given to some of the various unliving star players such as Hack Enslash who have graced the team’s roster to up the apothecary’s bill. It is hoped that this is a field that the team will continue to thrive in.

    7/10

    Overall

    Their inexperience aside, the Drakenhof Returned have done well thus far, standing toe to toe with some of the more accomplished and capable teams of the league (veterans of seasons past), and displayed skill and tenacity enough to stand proud. A relative lack of level ups from the players thus far has proven to be both a hindrance, but also a boon in terms of inducements, which have proven themselves to be a key element in the success for the undead Sylvanians so far. It will be an interesting career to watch as the players begin to put less emphasis on what their coach can provide for them, and what they can provide for themselves.

    5/10
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  25. - Top - End - #25
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    Default Re: GitP Blood Bowl Manager Cup - Season IV [Matches, Standings, and Schedule]

    Badenhof Broadcasting Corporation: Channel 5 (Live)

    All-Division Match Preview

    Host: Simon Ketchup

    This week sees the inaugural All-Division Match in the GITP league so we're running a special. The new format replaces the controversial All-Star Match seen in previous seasons, although the game itself will hopefully be just as high-quality.

    Here to give us a run-down of what we can expect is cup champion, defending Snotling Derby winner, former league MVP and last season's Defensive Player of the Year, the Blond Bullet, Fredo D. Stefani!

    Fredo: Evening.

    And our resident expert Mark Kerching.

    Mark: Hello.

    So to start off, what are the differences between this match and previous seasons?

    Mark: Basically, the players for the All-Star match were decided by a vote from every active manager in the league. This was supposed to be the fairest way of selecting the league's biggest stars, but it also meant that coaches had no control over which of their players went to the match other than to withdraw them.

    Fredo: Tactical voting was a bit of a problem too. Our team last season had a couple of rookies on the front line thanks to some Division A shenanigans. Hardly "all stars" at all!

    Mark: So for this season coaches have been able to nominate two of their players to take part. That's also given the coaches of each division more of an opportunity to cooperate and arrange gameplans and inducements.

    That's probably a good moment to point out that Division B have generously paid our broadcasting licence to put out this bulletin!

    Mark: Sell-out.

    Well, we have to eat, too, you know. Are there any downsides to this new format?

    Fredo: One or two. It means that no team can put forward more than two players so some deserving candidates will miss out. It also means that if a coach has gone AWOL like over at Nature's Guardians, none of their players get to start.

    Mark: This season, that's been costly for Division A. Sessrumnir and Niflheimr had played every All-Star Match to date, and both of them would probably have been automatic picks, but Nature's Guardians aren't sending anyone.

    Fredo: It's a real shame for the players. Sess in particular deserves better, and it's unlikely we'll see Niflheimr play again this season after his injury in the last match. He should make a full recovery but the medical staff aren't around to sign him fit to play.

    Mark
    : If they had played, though, they'd be on the opposite side of the pitch to you...

    Fredo: Well I'm not too sorry about that! I've played alongside them and against them plenty before, and barring injury we should get to line up against Sessrumnir once more at the end of the season. I'd rather have them on my side than not, though.

    So with the teams that have been selected what can we expect to see in the match?

    Mark: Looking at the roster, it's hard not to think that Division A have a better team on paper. Two good ball-carriers with the skinks, a strong front line, and then two vampires and Kowen on top for some added flair.

    Fredo: You'd think that, Mark, but I'd say you're wrong. Division A have some strong blocking players and some good ball-carriers, but they lack versatility. They haven't got any Thralls, so the vampires could desert the pitch early, and if they stay they could end up fighting Kowen for the ball.

    Mark: Division A obviously have a very strong line, though, and that was always going to happen.

    Fredo: There was nothing we could really do about that. Most of the teams in our division don't carry a proper big guy, and Seb, who would have been one of the first names on the teamsheet most years, has just had a serious injury that might end his career. But I think our line is deceptively strong. Hellbug's Heroes have shown so far this season that you don't need a real big guy on your team to do some damage. We've got the two mummies, two Heroes, and Bloomberg, and that's a strong line.

    Plus you, of course.

    Fredo: Hopefully they won't need me on the line, but if I get the chance to stick it to someone I'm not going to hold back.

    Speaking of the ogres on the Division A lineup, what's the deal with this bounty going round on ogres?

    Fredo: It was Seb's idea, actually. He wasn't happy with all these new ogres turning up in the league and stealing his spotlight. Most of the rest of us were happy to chip in.

    Mark: That backfired a bit on Seb, didn't it?

    Fredo: I think that was just bad timing. We did make clear the bounty didn't apply to any ogres on our payroll. Seb was very careful to draft those T&Cs himself. Then someone who could read and write redid them so they made sense.

    Will the bounty be in operation for the All-Division match?

    Fredo: Yes. We'll pay out the full bounty on any ogres injured or killed, divided between houlio as coach and whichever player makes the hit.

    You mentioned houlio there. What's it like to be working with him?

    Fredo: Well, for the last two seasons, there hasn't really been any change in coaching for me. It's the first time I've worked with a different coach, so that's quite exciting.

    Mark: Does the rivalry between the Lads and the Sabres have any impact on your relationship with houlio, the former Lads coach?

    Fredo
    : Off the pitch we always got on well with the Lads, especially at the All-Star match, not that that stopped us trying to kill each other when we were opponents. Houlio's obviously got a great coaching record and he's used to dealing with versatile blitzers so I reckon he can make good use of me.

    Mark, what's your prediction for the match?

    Mark: In all but one of the All-Stars matches to date, the underdog team on paper has won. The exception of course was the Division B - Division C match last year but that was always going to be a tall order for Division C. Even playing without Danforth Division B handed out a shoeing. From what I gather Division A have made some miscalculations on their inducements and they've ended up having to draft in some snotling mercenaries, so that's not going to help them either. I think Division B could do this. The key players for Division A are Kowen and Derk. If they have poor matches it could be all over.

    Fredo: Division B. Obviously.

    That's all, folks, and remember, although the match itself is a sellout, you can catch it right here on the Beeb. Thanks to our contributors, and good luck to Fredo in both the match and the Snotling Derby.
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  26. - Top - End - #26
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    HalflingRogueGuy

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    Default Re: GitP Blood Bowl Manager Cup - Season IV [Matches, Standings, and Schedule]

    The Crooked Peak Chronicler

    THE ONLY DWARVEN NEWSPAPER CURRENTLY KNOWN TO HUMANS

    Krooked King Denounces Team

    When the coach decided to not return to Crooked Peak, the King has now decided to renounce his sponsorship of them. This move complicates Clarkson's next season, as he may not receive the 1 million gold that most teams get.

    (Will finish editin gthis when I'm back, but might not finish.

    Spoiler
    Show
    Clarkson denies King

    Coach Clarkson of the Crooked Peak Dwarves has refused the Krooked King's demand to return to the Crooked Peak. He states that he took the team's thoughts on this decision into account, and the resounding opinion was to remain through the season.

    Krooked King Retreated

    The Krooked King has retreated to his enclave with some of his top advisors. Anyone who tries to approach will be killed by the guards he has stationed outside. He's making decisions via carrier pigeon.

    Problems continue

    Dwarves continue to go crazy, but now the military has begun as well.


    Spoiler
    Show
    Dwarves going crazy

    We here at the Crooked Peak Chronicler have heard some very disturbing news. Apparently there have been incidents of Dwarves going crazy and attacking anything in sight. So far only three have died to these crazed dwarves, and the military has been efficient in dealing with them. The King has issued a statement ordering everyone to report any issues as soon as they begin showing themselves. Common symptoms include, casting about for a weapon, picking up a weapon, and attempting to kill you.

    CTCT leaving

    The Clan that Conquered Trees has issued a statement that they will be collecting all of their things and leaving Crooked Peak until the above situation has died down. If you rely on The Clan that Conquered Trees or any member of said Clan for any essential goods, make certain you are well stocked, or have an idea of where you might be able to pick up those goods.

    King demands return of Bloodbowl team

    The Krooked King has issued a decree to the Bloodbowl team largely owned by Crooked Peak to return. We here at the Chronicler hope that they are happy with their season, and are ready for the large numbers of parades that will accompany their return.
    Last edited by Clarkson; 2014-01-07 at 09:45 PM.
    Crooked Peak Seasons IV-V: 11/8/4 Cup Semifinalist, Cup Quarterfinalist, Coach of the losing All-star team (Season V)
    Treeman's Triumph Seasons VI: 3/8/2 Loser in the Crud! Cup Match
    Legends of Jam Season VII: 6/3/2 Winner of the Longball Derby, Division B Champion, Cup Semifinalist

  27. - Top - End - #27
    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Default Re: GitP Blood Bowl Manager Cup - Season IV [Matches, Standings, and Schedule]

    Entropy Time backlog!!

    Episode 7 (Mid Season Report)

    Spoiler
    Show
    Soooo... Alshain here, guys. What? The terrible noise inside the gym? It's Adhil arguing with Dyrac... and with Nöther, Meredith, Tuern and Algedi. Things are not looking good. Really a mess, trust me. Well, thing's always a mess for us Marauders... but well, I'm just a singer with my songs... And I want to stay outside this discussion. I have the duty to read the mid-season report, so let's go on...

    Overall Coaching Effort: 3/10

    Leriel is not bothering us. No more. But the effort to put him away from the team had a too high cost. We miss proper coaching. We need to find an identity, also. 3 points, just since coaching stuff reached a total of three.

    (Alshain takes her guitar...)

    All my plans fell through my hands
    They fell
    through my hands on me
    all my dreams
    It suddenly seems, it suddenly seems
    Empty...


    Overall Offence: 1/10

    Dyrac, you're mad as a mad hatter... what do you think? That you're an hero?

    **I'm the one, everybody's waited for (waited for)
    Scream for me, a romantic modern hero (hero)
    They need a hero, somebody they can look up to

    ** I'm a super hero (you're a super hero)
    I'm a super hero (you're a super hero)
    I'm a super hero (you're a super hero)
    The hero of today, yay!

    ** Everyone wishes they could be like me (like you)
    Smart and cool, handsome, wealthy and so sexy (sexy)
    They need a hero, somebody who is a just like me...


    Overall Defence: 3/10

    Again, three is just the number of the Entropy Wall team members. They are good, they are really good, but that's not enough to stop fast elves or stunty skinks.

    Do you believe in block after dodge
    I can feel something inside me say
    I really don't think you're strong enough,
    No...


    Overall Pizza Good Taste: 10/10

    Whoa-oa-oa! They feel good, I knew that they would, now
    They feel good, I knew that they would, now
    So good, so good, I ate them with you...


    Overall Mathematic Effort: 8/10

    In Riemann, Hilbert or in Banach space
    Let superscripts and subscripts go their ways
    Our asymptotes no longer out of phase,
    We shall encounter, counting, face to face.

    I'll grant thee random access to my heart,
    Thou'lt tell me all the constants of thy love;
    And so we two shall all love's lemmas prove,
    And in our bound partition never part.

    For what did Cauchy know, or Christoffel,
    Or Fourier, or any Boole or Euler,
    Wielding their compasses, their pens and rulers,
    Of thy supernal sinusoidal spell?


    Overall Madness: 10/10

    At breakfast I'm tweeting.
    I'm tweeting while I'm eating.
    Cause everything I ever do,
    I want the world to see it too!
    I'm surfing. I'm typing, and also I am Skyping.
    So who are you to tell us no?
    I'm putting this on Vimeoooooo!


    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=soAk3F0wX9s

    Episode 6

    Spoiler
    Show
    "Hi Meredith!"
    "Hi Toby! What a terrible mathematical hangover..."
    "Yes... the only one who didn't suffer was Doc... and he was the hero of last match!"
    "But Crow is right, Toby. His plan worked... but we lost."

    Adhil reach Meredith and Toby.
    "We are using too much energy with this Leriel stuff... we need to concentrate on the game, not on it!"
    "You are right, Adhil, but this could be the time for getting rid of him once for all..."

    "CrOw Is ToO sOfT. "I'd rather see this team bloodied and crushed into the ground in a hard-fought defeat, than see another draw.", hE sAyS. bAh! I'm ThInKiNg AbOuT a FuLl SeT oF tOrTuRe FoR tHiS sTuPiD tEaM!"

    "LERIEL!!!!!!!!!!!!"

    Suddenly Dyrac, Möbius, Octahemioctacron and Nöther get closer... they are bringing a strange machine. The Mad Mathemathic Trio speaks, while Nöther is writing something on a piece of paper:
    "KLATU! BARADA! NIKTO!"

    And the strange machine comes to life. It's a big cat - a huge panther, with a black fur, covered by strange mathematic symbols. The creature run toward Leriel's ghost.

    "FoOl! I'm A gHoSt! I dOn'T fEaR yOuR sTuPiD... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"

    Dyrac rejoices. "It's working, Nöther! Your ectoplasmic homeomorphism on the B.E.A.S.T. claws hurted Leriel!"
    "Holy Hausdorff! We did it!"

    Leriel wails like a banshee, and he materialize a wall of swords on the panther, cutting it in pieces!

    But Möbius nods: "It's going as for the symulation..."

    The panther is cut in small pieces... but they change shape, becoming many small B.E.A.S.T.s, each covered by a different mathematic symbol. Nöther nods: "Let the eigenvalues attack as a bad conditioned matrix!"

    Some of the small creatures start jumping at Leriel, who materialize a full plate of armor...

    But wait! It was just a diversion! All the remaining creatures quickly surround Leriel, forming a circle, that with astonishing speed becomes a small wall and then a dome...

    "Nöther Entropy Wall!"

    Leriel is wailing. The dome created by the B.E.A.S.T. now is transparent - a sort of wall of force, that surround the angry ghost and prevent him to move - even if he's a ghost!

    Toby looks at him, and then turns to Dyrac.
    "WOW! You did it! How is it possible?"

    Dyrac smiles at Toby: "We asked Alshain to write a song about it... it's better than any mathematic explanation!"

    And the singer/leader of the Marauders takes a guitar:

    We don’t need no serrulation.
    We don't need no six re-rolls.
    No more coffee with Red Mushrooms.
    Leriel, leave the team alone.
    Hey, Leriel, leave the team alone!
    All in all you're just a great piece of a**hole.
    All in all you're just a great piece of a**hole.

    We will stop your deprecations.
    We will crush your phantom trolls.
    No dark pizzas in the lunchroom.
    Leriel, leave the team alone.
    Hey, Leriel, leave the team alone!
    You're a jerk and we know that you're always AWOL.
    You're a ghost but can't pass Nöther Entropy Wall!

    Episode 5

    Spoiler
    Show
    "Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be too late!
    I'm late! I'm late! For a very important date!"


    Well, yes, I'm late... and with no interview. Oh my. Strange, I cannot see Meredith. Let's ask Doc...

    "Hi Doc!"
    "Hi Tody!"
    "Toby..."
    "No, I'm Doc Nutsmasher..."
    "..."
    "Everything OK Tody? Dut you dreath hard... want some Warpa-Cola?"
    "No, thanks... Nice T-shirt!"
    "A gift from my fan club! See?
    O RLY?
    YA RLY!
    NO WAI!"

    "What???"
    "They say it's a troll, like me!"
    "..."
    "Well, why were you running Tody?"
    "Just went back from Hellbug's Heroes place. I was hoping to get an interview from Brunbob... you know, they say that he had a liason with Amaterasu last season... Also they say that Orgetorix is going to retire and to start a new job as writer for children's bedtime stories and nursery rhymes..."
    "Cool!"
    "Well, we'll never know for sure, I didn't manage to see him..."
    "What a pity!"
    "Adhil will be mad... I promised her this interview..."
    "You will not find her. She has an headache. All of them Marauders. Nöther, Dyrac, Mödius and Oct-som'thing started working on a deast... and I went to the gym!"
    "A beast? Why did you not help them?"
    "A DEAST... a mathematic thing. Go find them in tha maze, dut de careful!"

    "Hi Dyrac! Hi all!"
    "Hi Toby! We are winning! We found a way to defeat Leriel!"
    "But he's not here..."
    "Let me explain. Nöther analyzed Leriel's data and proposed an idea... it's secret, I cannot explain you the details... so we decided to create a B.E.A.S.T. that will overcome him..."
    "That's fantastic? Where is it?"
    "Here... on paper!"
    "WHAT?"
    "The B.E.A.S.T. is a
    Buttered-cat
    Enhanced
    Algorithm-based
    Shapeshifting
    Trap

    and its core is an algorithm... before assembling it, we are battling on a mathematic field!"
    "WHAT?"
    "Sit down...
    We prepared a mathematical model of Leriel. It and the B.E.A.S.T. did such fierce battle across the equation-covered table, that the our pencils kept snapping.
    Furious, the B.E.A.S.T. writhed and wriggled its iterated integrals beneath Leriel's polynomial blows, collapsed into an infinite series of indeterminate terms, then got back up by raising itself to the nth power, but Leriel elabored it with differentials and partial derivatives, and in the ensuing confusion the we completely lost sight of them.
    We went back to work and tried again from the beginning, this time unleashing our entire arsenal of tensor matrices, attacking the problem with such fervor that the very paper began to smoke.
    Leriel rushed forward with all his cruel coordinates and mean values, stumbled into a dark forest of roots and logarithms, had to backtrack, then encountered the B.E.A.S.T. on a field of irrational numbers, but it slid around an asymptote and hid in an n-dimensional orthogonal phase space, underwent expansion and came out, fuming factorially, and fell upon Leriel and hurt him passing sore.
    But Leriel, nothing daunted, put on his Markov chain mail and all his impervious parameters, took his increment to infinity and dealt the B.E.A.S.T. a truly Boolean blow, sent it reeling through an x-axis and several brackets...
    But the B.E.A.S.T. was prepared for this! It lowered its horns and — wham!! — the pencils flew like mad through transcendental functions and double eigentransformations, and when at last the B.E.A.S.T. closed in, Leriel was down and out!"

    "This is the worst headache in my life..."

    Episode 4

    Spoiler
    Show
    Hello everybody! This is Toby, your favorite Pizza Delivery Dark Elf Boy...
    Today I'm near the training center of Hellbug's Heroes. I was able to speak shortly with Brunbob last week, and he promised me an interview... but looks like he's really busy today... What a shame!

    Why am I here? Well, several reasons...

    First, "Pizza Pazza Takeaway" boss told me that working for Beyond Entropy is not so good for promoting the takeaway... better a veteran team like Red Sabres or Hellbug's Heroes instead... And since my contract with Beyond Entropy is just part time, I still need to work for him, too. What a pity!

    Second, looks like that coaches of the GitP league got bored with latest issue, so Meredith decided to skip the "search for Nöther" part of the story... and so Adhil told me that she'll kick me hard if I return without something good for Entropy Time. Boys, she's pretty, but she's soooo scaring!!!

    And finally, Adhil ordered Möbius to give her the Omega-Box with all games. This. Is. The. Worst. Part! No, you don't understand... it's not about playing with him... can you imagine what could a minotaur do when he has issue with mathematic problems and theorems? If he works seriously, and he get angry, he's really a wild thing!

    Boys, no one is coming out from the gym... What could I do? I need to find a spot for a peek...

    "Boy, you should stop it. Now."
    "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! Rivell Mastacasta!"
    "Give me a reason to not crush you like cheddar cheese, boy..."
    "Well... I'm a would-be journalist... and... GOT IT! You worked with Lord Borak the Despoiler, weren't you?"

    Rivell released me from the grasp of his tentacles (being the apothecary of Chaos Teams has some drawbacks, you know...)

    "Good times... Lot of work for us. You know, Borak provided work for five of us for each match - two for his team, three for the opposite. You know? I remember a match versus an elf team... while his team knocked out the Elves one by one, the Despoiler nailed their ears to their knees. He said: Brilliant! That should keep 'em from scoring!"

    "Urgh..."

    "I still have a press clipping... Give me a second... Here it is!"

    Leading Chaos teams to victories for years, entertaining the masses with his creative ways of putting players in the critical list, Borak has delighted the hearts of all those who watched him play.

    But Borak’s achievements reach far beyond the game. His constantly flagrant rule breaking and legendary post match interviews made him the popular advertising medium for Cheaties-Cereals, host of the popular late night show "All the rage" and editor of a question and answer column for the Altdorf Crimes, where he gives his sardonic advice to the truly lost and damned.

    Altdorf, capitol of the Empire, is also his chosen place of living since the city council agreed to subsidize the building of his Citadel of Pain, which is now looming at the city centre, casting a cooling shadow on several asylums nearby (and sometimes a rain of arrows, when Borak’s at home).

    And especially here, in the Empire’s heart, Borak’s popularity is simply beyond measure. A recent opinion poll has shown that Borak has replaced Griff as the most welcome dinner guest of all people of Altdorf. If the Despoiler ever attended one is not known. But even the Emperor himself can’t elude Borak’s magnitude and had to honour his contribution to society with a public ceremony and a three hour speech, finishing with the line: "And this member of society shows that even creatures tainted by Chaos can live among our midst, embrace our philosophies and become indeed model citizens in their own right. Sigmar bless our great nation." At the same time, Borak gave a much anticipated cabalvision interview on Channel 7, insulting Sigmar, the Reikland Reavers, the Emperor, Griff Oberwald and the city of Altdorf, and then he really got going! No wonder the Emperor’s speech had a low attendance.


    "...low attendance. GOOD! I took note of all of this!"

    "Are you thinking that you'll get home alive, boy?"

    "Are you thinking that Borak will leave you alive, knowing that I cannot put this on the GitP BB forum?"

    "..."

    "Thanks Mr. Mastacasta!!!"

    Episode 3

    Spoiler
    Show
    "Hi Meredith!"
    "Hi Toby! Leave the pizzas there... I have your new contract! You have to sign it!"
    "WOW! So I'll be part of your staff?"
    "Sure... we need you! After two lost matches, we need some pizza to cheer up!"
    "I'm sorry..."
    "Nevermind... Can you please take this one to Möbius? He's in the MAZE..."
    "Uhm... Are you giving me a ball of thread?"
    "Oh... no, it's not a labyrinth! MAZE stands for Mathematic-only Area Zorn-lemma Enhanced..."
    "ZORN LEMMA?!?!"
    "I don't know... Möbius told me that I should search in Shakira's Waka-Waka-Pedia..."
    "..."

    "Hi Möbius!"
    "Hi Toby, come here!"
    "WOW! Is this a Omega-Box? And this... it's Final Fantasy 42 - the answer!"
    "42.1... patched and with all missions unlocked! Get a seat, I need you to complete the level!"
    "And your pizza?"
    "It can wait! See? It's dark..."
    "A dark pizza?!?! But-"

    Suddenly a loud noise covers Toby's voice:
    Thunder, thunder, thunder, thunder cats!
    THUNDER, THUNDER, THUNDER, THUNDER CATS! (Thunder catsssssssss...)


    "WHAT?"
    "It's the intruder alarm!"
    "Möbius, did you set it as alarm?"
    "It's my favorite show at Cabal Vision..."

    Everyone get out: there are eleven black creatures approching. Doc recognizes them:
    "They are shadow trolls! But ELEVEN?!?!"
    An unearthly voice replies:
    "ThEy'Ll CrUsH yOu! ThEy'Ll pUnIsH yOu! TwO lOsT mAtChEs... It'S a ShAmE!"
    "LERIEL????"
    Adhil screams in rage and hits one of the creatures, but her blow has little effect - and the beast (summoned by Leriel's will) hits hard her, throwing her to the ground!

    The three Big Guys(TM) charge the trolls:
    Doc: "RHAHRHGH!"
    Octahemioctacron: "DIE!!!!!!"
    Möbius: "<- ^ -> + [X] [X] combo!"

    Everybody gets silent and looks at the minotaur. Even the spectral figure of Leriel (that was laughing at the futile efforts of the marauderess) stops embarassed - a big sweatdrop on his ghostly face.
    Toby whispers: "I think you should stop playing with the Omega-Box..."

    But the desperate(?) move of the minotaur gave some time to Meredith - she summons a huge light globe, that burns the shadowy flesh of the creatures - until they disappear, followed by a screaming Leriel's ghost.
    "Luckily he's weaker than his former self..." says Meredith, breathing hard.

    Meredith goes on:
    "It is clear that we are facing an Evil difficult to comprehend, let alone combat.
    There is only one sage, schooled in the most arcane history and lore, who could advise us... "
    "DECKARD CAIN THE ELDER?!?" jumps up Möbius.
    "Nöther the algebraist..." replies Meredith, freezing him with a glance. "We need him!"

    Episode 2

    Spoiler
    Show
    Uhm... this is the address... "Meredith Gray(Tail), c/o Beyond Entropy"...
    "Hello? Miss Graytail?"
    "That's me! Come in... You are the pizza boy, aren't you?"
    "Sure Miss Gr-"
    "Please, call me Meredith!"
    "Sure... Meredith! I'm Toby... the Pizza Delivery Dark Elf Boy from "Pizza Pazza Takeaway!"..."
    "Nice to meet you, Toby!"
    "Let me check if there's everything...
    One "Teseo-in-the-maze" pizza, a Super-Mouse-Cheese, two "Warpy Meals" with warpstone, one salad à-la-Roxanne, seven extra spicy "put-hot-stuff-only-here!" pizzas, an "happy surgeon" one... and finally some smelly fishes..."
    "Right! They are for Schrödinger... the cat of Dyrac, you know?"
    "Uh?"
    "Come with me... you deserve a tip... follow me!"
    "Thank you miss! That's 1,013 gold pieces..."
    "WHAT?!?!"
    "Pizzas are 1 gp each... but hiring some priests to protect me from the ugly ghost outside costs 1,000 pieces... you know, my life insurance dosn't cover it..."
    "Well... maybe we should hire you as assistant coach... I'll think about it... now bring the fish and the salad to Dyrac, ok? It's at the end of the corridor... Leave the other pizzas here! I'm hungry!"

    "Mr. Dyrac?"
    "Leave me alone!"
    "...I have your salad!"
    "OH! Come here! What are you waiting for, boy?"
    "But there is a scaring beast here at the door!"
    "Oh, it's the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal... Adhil put it here to prevent me going out... Silly girl... Do you see the towel? Drape it over your head and go ahead. The beast is really stupid... it thinks that if you can't see it, it can't see you."
    "..."
    "Ok, you are in - you can take off the towel!"
    "WOW! Is this your lab, Mr. Dyrac?"
    "Mr. Delta Dyrac... but call me just Dyrac. Put the salad there and give me the fishes... Schrödinger? Come here! You know, he likes to hide in the box... but is soooo dangerous for him! I cannot be sure that he's alive, when he's inside... and I cannot check!"
    "UH? And... What does he have on his back?"
    "It's a bread-slice quick-removal system. Project by Möbius - we work together, you know? It's useful when I need to put some buttered bread slices on his back..."
    "?????"
    "Don't they teach it at school? The buttered cat engine... is not working at zero-G... really a pity!"
    "?????????????????????????????"
    "Cats always land on their feet. And buttered bread slices always land buttered-side down. Drop the cat... and he'll start rotating forever... but it's not working in space!"
    "OHHHHHHHHHH! I get it!"
    "Take a seat... You're a smart boy!"
    "Thanks! Can I have something to drink?"
    "WAIT! See that cans? They are all from Red Sabres... I drank from one of these and I got mad... We lost the match..."
    "What a pity! But you're a scientist... why do you play Blood Bowl?"
    "I need money for my experiments... and Adhil is mad with this BB thing... so I'm creating some potions to provide us mutations... I think that I'll grow an extra arm for next match."
    "COOL!"
    "This salad is SUPER! But I don't have time to finish it..."
    "May I..?"
    "Smart boy! Now let me go on with the resublimated thiotimoline..."
    "PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! Hire me! I love this place!"

    Episode 1

    Spoiler
    Show
    We don't like you!
    F*** you! F*** you!
    We can't stand you!
    F*** you! F*** you!
    Get out of my face or I will SH*T ON YOUR MOM!
    - Sex mime, "Generic Punk Song"

    (Un)Welcome everybody to Entropy Time!

    So... What are you expectin' pals? To learn the story of (I'm no) Lady Adhil and the Marauders of Planet L.S.B.1 (Planet O in short) - piratess from outer space?

    F*** you! I'll tell you since I want that +1 gameplan! Got it? I don't care! I'm no stupid singer! I don't care at all!

    I have better things to do! Ya know? I want to put my hands on that... Aedilred guy and crush his neck! Break it! Bash hi' hard! That Dyrac is always messing up with drinks and potions... cursed dark elf!

    But lemme tell ya... Meredith is still chasing that stupid ghost... so I have some time!

    We are marauders - we travel to rob and search hot gals! That Valkyries was gourgeous and we wanted them... but we crashed on this stupid planet! And we discovered that the ladies disbanded! Why? Because that stupid Leriel is an a**hole! Mad man, ya know? So crazy and so angry that Doc and Triple-S did tear him in pieces... and he became a ghost!

    Well, we wanted the ladies - we wanted to steal them! We are marauders, not sissy!

    But we crashed and cannot escape... and that Crow is worst than a space mastiff! We needed another way...

    So we spoke with Mer' and decided to play Blood Bowl and get them as cheerleaders! We will get money and we'll kick some b**t! Man, this's a crazy dream!

    Doc agreed to join us since Triple-S disbanded - well, looks like they enjoyed killing Leriel too much...

    And here we are - we already seized Möbius, Dyrac and Octahe... Octam... well, Oct-something from the planet of the MAD MATHEMATHICIANS and we are ready to rumble! YEAH!

    And lemme tell ya: WE'LL GET THAT LERIEL GHOST AND KICK IT HARD! Trying to kill DV... ya know? It's a piece of S**T!

    Damn, Mer' here... see ya pals! Follow us or I'LL BURN YOUR GitP COMIC BOOKS!

    Planet O, planet O.
    Planet O, planet O.

    We are pirates from the planet O.
    We'll enslave you. We will break your soul.
    We will chain you, make you fall and bow.
    We'll defile, satisfy you.

    Please don't touch me. Don't come near me.
    We will rock you. We will shock you.
    Please don't touch me. Don't come near me.
    Please don't touch me. Don't you hear me?
    I'm a lady, just a baby.
    What's a lady? What's a baby?
    Call me lazy. Call me crazy.
    I don't want to Torna a planet O...

    No, no, no, no, don't touch me.
    No, no, no, don't come near me.
    We'll surprise, scandalize you.
    We'll surprise, vandalize you.
    Mercy, mercy. Help me, help me.
    Call my Momma, call the USO.

    Planet O, planet O.
    Planet O, planet O.

    We will break you, desecrate your soul.
    We will shake you, overtake you.
    Please don't touch me, touch me, touch me.
    Don't come near me, near me, near me.

    Hypnotize you. Neutralize you.
    Crazed it made me, serenade me.
    Wake me, take me... to the planet O...

    We are pirates from the planet O.
    We have come to capture you.
    Please come peacefully.

    We will tie you, sacrifice you.
    Tie me, tie me. Halleluja.
    Catch me. Take me... to the planet O...
    Last edited by Leriel; 2013-12-27 at 03:53 AM.
    I'm back with my rats!

    Stinky Feet:
    Season 1 Cup Finalist
    Die Valkyrie:
    Season 2 Cup Semifinalist
    Season 3 Division-A Champs and Cup Semifinalist

    Beyond Entropy:
    Season 4... A messy but funny team!
    Sweet Feet:
    Season 5 and 6 Cup Semifinalist
    Ultimate Feet:
    Season 7 - The last season!

  28. - Top - End - #28
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Kobold

    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: GitP Blood Bowl Manager Cup - Season IV [Matches, Standings, and Schedule]

    Meanwhile, in the Hellbug's Heroes locker room...

    Pat-pat-pat-pat-pat: the sound of Rivell Mastacasta’s dainty elvish feet as he paced back and forth in the Hellbug’s Heroes locker room. “Could you cut that out?” growled Krikzer Flannel itching the dressing on his chest, “you sound like some kid before his first rite. You’re putting me on edge.” The elf replied, “But what if Orgetorix is injured again? You know it took Vercingetorix and three fans to pin him down after he knocked my tooth out when he was injured last time. I’m just not cut out for this kind of work.” The elf worried too much. Even if the final game of the season was going on just some 300 feet away, there was no way those skaven were going to leave a lasting mark on the Heroes. Before Flannel could remind the anxious apothecary that these skaven weren’t the same team as when they had kill Brunbob, he was interrupted by the sound of a door being bashed open and the stomping of angry feet coming off the pitch.

    It was followed by the loud complaints of Vercingetorix, “…that lunatic. There’s no way what’s going on out there is legal, but the commissioner says that with the change in team management, we have to start the game over.” The entirety of the team entered the locker room, and Flannel jumped to his hooves, wincing at the pain from his cracked ribs. “What’s going on?” he inquired to his nearest teammate, who happened to be Adam Mcgillis, “what’s this I’m hearing of restarting the game?”

    “Well, the game started as planned. We took the kickoff and got into a real good brawl with those rats; they were tougher than they looked—I don’t know what Crow’s been feeding ‘em. But, anyway, the first half ends and there’s some sort of assassination attempt on that crazy coach Leriel,” replied Mcgillis. Trush chimed in, speaking through a monstrosity of metal wiring keeping his jaw together, “Near as I can tell it worked, too. There was a big arrow stickin’ out of his throat, and I thought there was no way the old loon could survive this one.”
    “But then,” continued Mcgillis, “His severed head started floating and spouting nonsense about restarting the game with him in charge of the Feets, and the commissioner seemed to be going along with it, too! Last I heard, Hellbug himself was talking to the commissioner about…”
    BANG! The door bursts open again, and the Hellbug entered the room, shaking his head at the ground. He motions to Vercingetorix, who blows his warhorn, quieting the rest of the room.

    “Well,” started the Hellbug, “It looks like we’re restarting the game. I tried to argue that, with the current injury tallies, it would be giving an advantage to the rats to restart, but he wouldn't listen to me about it at all. I suspect that he was in on this from the start. Anyway, you better believe we can’t let Leriel get away with this. He’s used this league for his personal enjoyment one too many times. You remember what I told you before this game. I said that other teams call us the ‘bad guys of the league’ and ‘bullies who can’t even beat an unmanaged team’. I want you to forget all of that. None of them are here in our spot. There’s only one thing I want you to do now. I want you to go out there and win and end whatever machnations Leriel is planning. Today, you live up to your namesake. Today, you’re not bullies or bad guys or even a blood bowl team. Today, you are HEROES!”

    With that he flipped over one of the benches in the room. “You’ve been here before. Now go out there and show everyone what Hellbug’s Heroes can do!”

    The team gave a collective cheer and put on their helmets, following Ajax back out the door and onto the pitch. The elvish apothecary looked, white-faced, at Flannel: “Another whole game?! I don’t think I can make it through this. The tension is already killing me. Do you think they can do it?” Looking down regretfully at his bandages, Flannel replied, “We just might…”
    Last edited by The Hellbug; 2014-01-26 at 04:24 AM.
    Coach and Owner of Hellbug's Heroes, Sneak Kings, Sultans of Slaughter, and Commercial Cast-Offs. Season II and III runner-up. Season IV league champion. Season VII division champion.

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