Nacho Army HQ

[Rockphed]

A simple building stands before you. Made of stone and living trees, The Nacho Army HQ sells nacho's made with real cheese, 100% avacodo guacamole, fresh sour creme, finest jalepeno peppers, range grown moose meat, or whatever else you want.

There is a polished wooden counter running accross the building about 20 feet in. Behind it there is a kitchen capable of turning out thousands of little trays of Real Cheese Nachos in an hour.

All Members of the Naco Army get free Nachos.

Rockphed is normally behind the counter, while his two inept minions, named Bick Paen Tamiter, and Victor Ius(pronounced eee-us) are always around. All employees, except Rockphed, wear a dark orange uniform of military cut.

[EmeraldRose]

*EmeraldRose saunters in*
Greetings General Rockphed! EmeraldRose reporting for rank receipt. Recruitment for the army goes well! We've gotten at least one new member just yesterday!

*goes to the counter for a tray of nachos and a coke*

[Renegade Paladin]

[ I don't get it.]

[Midnight Son]

*is drug, kicking and screaming through the doors*

Dammit! I didn't even want to come to this town, and now I've been conscripted. Well never let it be said that Midnight Son shirks his duties.

*Grabs some tasty nachos and goes to wait in the corner*

[Lykan]

((Gah! FB is invading the Town!

:P))

[Rockphed]

Bick gives EmeraldRose a tray of Nachos. He goes in back to find a cola.

How does the rank of Grand Poobah of THE NACHO ARMY sound? Your duties would include conscripting random people from the street, and smiting those who would use fake cheese on nachos. Rockphed then hands EmeraldRose a bundle of orange cloth and leather. Here is your uniform, if you would like it ajusted, ask Victor.

[EmeraldRose]

Sounds good to me, Sir!! I'll get right to recruitment! *salutes*

*gets some nachos to go, and loads them with jalapenos, guacamole, and black beans*

I should probably take some nacho kits to entice the new recruits...

*takes several dozen "join us or get knocked out" nacho kits*

[Rockphed]

And what rank would Midnight Son like? Perhaps we could make him Official Cheese tester. But we get all our cheese with the Summon Cheese spell. Oh, and good luck EmeraldRose.

[EmeraldRose]

Sir, I am encountering resistance in the Random Banter Thread! Requesting back-up! They are countering with...*gasp*...cookies!!!

[Graklok]

Graklok comes wandering through, sniffing the air....

Nachos? Graklok like nachos. Do you have nacho ice cweam?

[Rockphed]

Um, Nacho Ice Cream...Do you mean nacho's with ice cream, or Nacho Flavored Ice cream? Or do you mean perhaps sour cream flavored Ice Cream? I would love to fulfill your request, but it is too vague and I don't want you to be disappointed.

[Graklok]

Ummm....nachos in ice cweam Graklok t'ink. Yeah, that's it. nachos in ice cweam. Dat's gud stuff dat is. Graklok replies.

[Rockphed]

Hmmm, this will be about ten minutes. Maybe less. Victor! Start the Ice cream maker! Bick! Make the man some nachos! I will find a spell to cool the ice cream down!

[Rockphed]

I have it! Now do not be alarmed, you are about to see some really odd stuff. Victor, Have you finished that Ice Cream recipe? Wait! Mr Graklok, what flavor Ice cream would you like? The default is vanilla, but if you would prefer some other flavor, I would be happy to change it. Just tell Victor over there what flavor you want. Now for the spell! Shape Change!!! Rockphed's form stays the same, and he looks slightly embarrassed.

[Midnight Son]

Well, I seem to have a very sharp knife here, and even with the summon spell, we must make sure the right kind of cheese is used. After every cheese summoning, I could cut it and test it for the proper aroma and sharpness.

As for my position and title in the army, I think I'll leave that to EmeraldRose, who conscripted me, or RockPhed our general. I'm fairly easygoing as long as I get my nachos and nobody makes the deadly mistake of showing up with, or asking for, any form of fake cheese.

[Rockphed]

Official Cheese Tester and Guard it is then! I suppose I should keep our supplies up with another Summon Cheese!

Several blocks of cheese appear in a pile behind the counter.

[Graklok]

Vikter, otay, Graklok tell 'em. Graklok says looking to where Rockphed was pointing. He saunters over there. You Vikter? he asks the man behind the counter. Me Graklok. Graklok like stawberry ice cweam wit nachos if pobble? ((possible)) Graklok come up wit idear when Graklok noucing at arena westling match wit Indurain, Atreyu, Supagoof, Rain, Cathindere, Weebl, Bob, Kyrian, Awamir....he continues to ramble on about all the competitors that fought in the arena battle royal match that was held some time ago. you will get the impression that Graklok is not the brightest bulb in town, but despite his large size he doesn't come across as intimidating either.

---------------------------

After talking about the arena for a considerable amount of time, Graklok gets and eats the strawberry nacho ice cream. Ummm, dewiscious! Thanks Victor and Rockphed, then leaves.

[EmeraldRose]

*EmeraldRose stumbles in*

Man it's rough out there! Some guy keeps following me around trying to get people to eat cookies! Vik, do you have any with habaneros back there?

*heads for the kitchen*

[Rex Idiotarum]

*a Ghastly Figure on a pogo stick stares in...*

[Rockphed]

Oh dear, this is worse than I thought! We must start the exorcism immidiately! Crank the ovens up to full blast! Start up the deep fryer! Create Cheese Golems, NachoShiruken, and other implements of Nacho disemination! And ye gastly figure, I have something for you! Rochphed throws one hand in the air, the other behind him, and Screams Baleful Polymorph, then points at the pogoer, and says mouse.

[EmeraldRose]

Sir! I have retaliated for the cookie intrusion! They will be cleaning up nacho sauce and black beans for days!

*EmeraldRose giggles and goes back for more nachos*

[Rex Idiotarum]

[Ioldanach]

*Ioldanach pokes his head in the door*
If youve got jalapenos and habaneros for those nachos, i would be glad to join up. Me like spicy.

[Lord Magtok]

A British NPC man in a suit walks in. He quickly swallows down a cookie before entering the HQ.

I'd like some nachos, melted, not burned.
((A Revolution-chip Cookie for the reference.))

Also, I'd like to join your group, and be of little aid. I promise I am not secretly working as an agent of the cookie revolution.

[Destro_Yersul]

A British NPC man in a suit walks in. He quickly swallows down a cookie before entering the HQ.

I'd like some nachos, melted, not burned.
((A Revolution-chip Cookie for the reference.))

Also, I'd like to join your group, and be of little aid. I promise I am not secretly working as an agent of the cookie revolution.

((Bond. James Bond))

[Lord Magtok]

((Congratulations. You get the cookie. "The melted, not burned" is a parody of shaken, not stirred.))
The NPC waits patiently, and attempts to peek at anything that might be top-secret, when nobody's watching.

[Rockphed]

Well, we have jalapenos, but the habaneros were a bit mild. I have been experimenting with improving the flavor and heat, but I can't seem to get my minions to eat anymore. Rockphed waves at Bick and Victor, both having scorch marks on their faces. Perhaps you would like to try one... Rockphed prepares some nachos, melted, not burned, and adds a pepper to the top. If you want to join, talk to EmeraldRose. Just mention how much you love of cheese whiz, and she will set you straight.

((The pepper is flame trapped for extra heat.))

[Destro_Yersul]

((Bwahahaha! My cookie collection grows...))

[Lord Magtok]

The NPC agent pretends to eat the nachos.
((secretly being a double agent working for the cookies, he doesn't care for nachos.)
Later, asks EmeraldRose if he can join, and says he is not a cookie lover, and loves cheese whiz.

[EmeraldRose]

*EmeraldRose conks LordMagtok on the head for daring to mention CheezWhiz in the presence of the real thing, then drags him out into the street and dumps him in front of the cookie revolution doorway with a plate of steaming hot nachos on his chest.*

*Comes back in and grins* Took care of that mess! Welcome Ioldanach! See General Rockphed for your rank and pick up your uniform! Then you can help me get those sneaky cookie guys back. THey keep popping up here like last week's dirty laundry...Grab your favorite nachos and toppings from the guys in the back and lets get going!!!