Bringing down the wrath of the DM

[Magnus_Samma]

*pokes the board* You gonna work now? Huh? Are ya?

Anyway. I'm about to start DMing a bi-monthly D&D game for a fairly large group of players who, on average, do not seem to have the sense that the great spirit gave a cricket. One of them in particular has a habit of starting interparty conflicts. I needed a way to try and keep the players in line, but without seeming like a complete jerk. Something that could be just as much a funny quirk of the game as it was a punishment.

I stumbled upon this.

Unfortunately, I don't think the list is entirely appropriate for a group of 5th level PCs, and there's some options on there that I just plain don't like. Fortunately, this board is full of hilarious people. Who wants to add to the list of DM wrath? I'm betting by Tuesday afternoon I could have enough for three lists...

[Ninja Chocobo]

Hm. I heard of a great DM prank that involves a Teleportation circle in a narrow corridor that teleports you about 10 feet backwards.
Wrath of the never-ending corridor!

[mikeejimbo]

Such that you don't realize it, and you keep walking forever!

[cokefiend]

I know a guy who did #97 of that list... of his own free will.

I think a good way to prevent inter-party squabble is: any time they start arguing about something needlessly, throw an ambush at them.
It makes sense (what better time to attack your enemies than when they're fighting amongst themselves?), it stops the argument and gets them to work together (unless they want to die) and it can be used to distract the players (hey, this evil gnome ninja had a note from EvilGuy McGuffin!).

[mikeejimbo]

Egad, I should hope I don't get hit with the beard growth one. I'm a dwarf who drank a hair tonic potion.

[I_Got_This_Name]

These are great, but I prefer the traditional grudge monster (or DM shout-down), should things get too bad, in accordance with the prophecy.

[Scorpion13]

I know a guy who did #97 of that list... of his own free will.

I think a good way to prevent inter-party squabble is: any time they start arguing about something needlessly, throw an ambush at them.
It makes sense (what better time to attack your enemies than when they're fighting amongst themselves?), it stops the argument and gets them to work together (unless they want to die) and it can be used to distract the players (hey, this evil gnome ninja had a note from EvilGuy McGuffin!).

Wasnt it Mickey Spillane who said "When in doubt, have man with a gun burst through the door"?

That sounds like a good idea right there.

[Viscount Einstrauss]

I relish interparty conflicts, but mostly because I always make it a huge burden on the players. Their arguments must be in character, and they're allowed to just not resolve them. They must also remain true to their alignments during an argument, or else they'll start leaning towards a new one. Basically, I use it as a chance to roleplay, and it can award additional EXP as well.

[Ashes]

Wasnt it Mickey Spillane who said "When in doubt, have man with a gun burst through the door"?

That sounds like a good idea right there.

I believe it was Raymond Chandler, but I'm totally not sure.

/off-topic

Edit: And look at that, I was right http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/qu...cha110318.html

[Ninja Chocobo]

Such that you don't realize it, and you keep walking forever!

Yup, that's the idea. Have it cast by a crazily epic Wizard, so that the saves are impossible, and thus unnecessary *wink wink*

[Scorpion13]

I believe it was Raymond Chandler, but I'm totally not sure.

/off-topic

Neither am I. Though it would fit Chandler's " I dunno what the hell is going on, and Im writing this" style.

Whoever said it, its a good idea.

[Grim Greyscale]

Yup, that's the idea. Have it cast by a crazily epic Wizard, so that the saves are impossible, and thus unnecessary *wink wink*

There's still the Nat. 20 rule. They'll figure it out eventually.

[mikeejimbo]

There's still the Nat. 20 rule. They'll figure it out eventually.

But rolls such as that are made silently, by the DM, who is allowed to fudge die rolls.

[Ninja Chocobo]

Although you should probably give them some chance, like a DC 30-35 Spot check every 5-or-so times they get teleported.

[Diggorian]

If they pick a fight in a bar they run into an old Asian man, Jin Rummi, an epic level Drunken Master who will throughly embarass the main instigator. Yanks down the pants, trips the PC with them, puts him in a hold to kiss his own butt, attacks the PC with his own fists in a grapple "Stop hit'in yourself! Stop hit'in yourself!".

If pickpocketing, the thief picks up a magical ring with a clear dark honey-colored gem from an angry looking merchant too distracted to notice anything. The next time the rogue looks in his pack the ring is there and all his coin is turned to copper (that's why the merchant was so mad ).

PC's are needlessly arguing in a public area. A paladin that looks like Dr. Phil shows up to reconcile the dispute demanding each tell their side, asking they tell how the other made him feel, and lecturing about the keys to a healthy relationship for a loooong time. If they're outside a city, a druid that looks like Oprah shows up to do the same thing. If underground, a female dwarven cleric Judge Judy does it rudely.

PC's are needlessly picking on NPC's. A high level Justicar with a redneck accent, mullet, and tattooes shows up to beat the stuffing out of the main instigator with subdual damage "Yer com'in wit me, boy!". Once the PC is down and KOed the Justicar realizes this is the wrong guy, he apologizes and leaves.

If they come on to the serving wenches too much, they meet Rita (a High Cha, high bluff, level 10 Expert pick pocket). She flirts with the PC sitting in his lap and cleaning him dry. If they notice she plays innocent. If they start a fight, THE RETURN of JIN RUMMI!!!

[Pronounceable]

When two players are being jerks/fools/whatever, there's probably one who doesn't enjoy it. So as the DM you say: "...Bored with your antics, this guy kicks your sorry asses till you see the error of your ways. Then..."

This works well when two players are disrupting the game.