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Thread: Funny D&D Stories
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2013-11-18, 01:26 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2013
Funny D&D Stories
I noticed there's an older thread of these but it's closed now so I thought I'd get the ball rolling again. Post your funny D&D stories.
I'll start. Current campaign played usually over roll20. D&D 3.5e DM's fully detailed world with history and ****. I go over to my friends' place as they are in the same city as me and we use our laptops. On of my friends is playing a human paladin, the other friend a tyfeling rouge. The other people over roll20 are the DM and a player playing a human fighter. I'm a dwarven cleric with ADD. So we go to a fairly nice city in a place with no central authority. Sort of like Ancient Greece with its city-states. So we go to this town and the party stops in an inn. I go off to get my flail enchanted. While I'm off, the party is arrested for breaking the law of "our countess is a corrupt evil bitch so **** you". The rouge/assassin manages to escape custody and kill a couple guards with his ****huege death attack of doom. He runs off. I, meanwhile, have just left the enchanter and am on my way back to the inn. A couple guards stop me and ask who I am. I reply with the truth (no metagaming) and they try to arrest me. I hold person one of them and cast darkness. I kill the non-held one and run away through the alley. I make my way back to the inn now fully aware that I am wanted. The bartender had been stabbed by the rouge so I tend to his wound in exchange for him hiding me. Unluckily, a guard walks in and pots me kneeling behind the counter. He asks who I am and I reply that I'm just a dwarf. He tries to arrest me. Now the guards in this city have been built for grappling and using rope so he tries to grapple me and tie me up. I manage to get my hand free and cast create water on his mouth. The DM had said that a person can be considered a container. I am level 7 so that means 14 gallons of water appear in his body. He fails his fortitude save. DM takes like a minute to describe in horrifying detail the spectacle I have just created from eyes bulging to gasping and clawing for air. The man drowns in a horrifying fashion. Everyone in the inn faints. DM tells me to roll a high will save. One natural 20 later and me and the rouge player are rolling on the floor laughing our asses off at my stone faced murder. DM nerfs create water so it's effectively useless now.Last edited by AlCndnRjct; 2013-11-18 at 01:28 PM. Reason: Wanted to add more detail
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2013-11-18, 01:47 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Funny D&D Stories
Originally Posted by The rules for Conjuration spells
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2013-11-18, 02:47 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2013
Re: Funny D&D Stories
That would be bad if the spell didn't explicitly say that it fills a container with 2 gallons of water per level. Also it's a divine spell so I don't know if it follows the rules of conjuration. Also, as we like to say and I don't know if this is a thing, but **** you DM rules!
Last edited by AlCndnRjct; 2013-11-18 at 02:51 PM.
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2013-11-18, 02:55 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Funny D&D Stories
Divine spells are not exempt from the rules.
And you don't think that a 0th level save or die spell is a tad overpowered?
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2013-11-18, 02:59 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Funny D&D Stories
Houserules are amusing, and it is a funny story, but really, it's a 0-level spell. It's supposed to be useless fun or minor utility, like prestidigitaion or detect/read magic.
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2013-11-18, 03:37 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2013
Re: Funny D&D Stories
It was a low Fort save for the guy. The DM tried to not let it happen but it did. And to the other guy who said something, I went back and read the book. The spell book app on my phone never specified that it couldn't be done, but the PHB did make a note on it. But anyway, stop disputing this **** and write up your ****. I wanna see your stories. And yes it was overpowered but it was clever use of a loophole nobody knew wasn't a loophole and the DM okaying it. Now the players are constantly berating me and making fun of the situation. Comments of "He had three wives and ten children!" and "He was an upstanding corrupt pillar of the community!" abound.
Last edited by AlCndnRjct; 2013-11-18 at 03:42 PM.
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2013-11-18, 03:58 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Funny D&D Stories
http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=248776 Someone beat you to this.
Divine Spells are not sorted by school because the wizard cares about them and other classes only care in passing. Heck, the bard doesn't list them like that either. If you want to find out what school it belongs to you just have to look up the full description.Last edited by DSmaster21; 2013-11-18 at 04:15 PM.
DSmaster21: The Dicey Cultist
I apologize if I ramble sometimes my Asperger's Syndrome causes me to talk a lot when trying to communicate. I may also get distracted so I ask forgiveness in advance.
A D12 of The Church of D20
Games: Doctor Who: Adventures in Space and Time, Shadowrun 5e, D&D 4e, Pathfinder, Star Wars: Edge of the Empire, Assorted Retroclones, D&D 5e.
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2013-11-18, 04:18 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2013
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2013-11-19, 04:14 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Funny D&D Stories
DSmaster21: The Dicey Cultist
I apologize if I ramble sometimes my Asperger's Syndrome causes me to talk a lot when trying to communicate. I may also get distracted so I ask forgiveness in advance.
A D12 of The Church of D20
Games: Doctor Who: Adventures in Space and Time, Shadowrun 5e, D&D 4e, Pathfinder, Star Wars: Edge of the Empire, Assorted Retroclones, D&D 5e.
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2013-11-19, 11:58 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2013