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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Lacey, Washington
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    Default LGBTAitp #46: I cast Prismatic Hugs!

    Hello, hello, welcome, one and all, to the forty-sixth iteration of our thread, the humble LGBTAI in the playground thread!

    The AI is for All-Inclusive, because we have only so much space but everyone, regardless of orientation, direction, letter, acronym or chosen astrological symbol is welcome here! With special thanks to Zorg today for editing

    We do, unfortunately, have a few rules. We are not an anarchical state! Or, we weren't until they voted we were? But shush.

    1. We are primarily a support thread.
    This means that the primary focus should be in helping people here feel better; about themselves, about their lives, about their problems. We are also an education thread, but when helping someone learn involves not supporting, we will default to support - Mostly. We are only mostly human, after all.

    2. If you want answers to Trigger topics, spoiler-box or privately ask them.
    This relates to the above. If you want to ask questions debate, and your responses, or a side response, or something involves not being supportive/active antagonism, spoiler it and LABEL YOUR SPOILERS CLEARLY.

    Triggery topics will be listed here, when I can get them straight. (hahaha straight)

    3. Avoid discussing Politics or Religion.
    It doesn't matter how much these two topics intersect with our forum topic, they are verboten. Sometimes, hints are... Looked over, such as "man, in my countery being gay sucks", but detail is right out, and even that could be considered willful disregard. Be Careful. As the moderators themselves often say, if you aren't sure, Don't.

    4. Do not Discuss Moral Justification.
    No one here is going to discuss whether or not it's Right" or "Okay" to be LGBTAEIOUsometimesY or anything else. It's not topical, it's not relevant. We are, and we are here to cope with that and with the stresses it causes.
    And no, my joking acronym doesn't constitute considering this rule less important.

    5. Do Not Post Sexually Explicit Content.
    It's against forum rules, it's against decorum, and it will get us shut down pretty fast. What adults do behind closed doors is cool, and allusion is fine. Anything that could involve a diagram, though? No.

    6. Again, Spoiler-box [Trigger] topics.
    This gets a second mention for it's more specific uses. If someone, even just that one individual person, has a problem with a topic, because it stirs demons best left in their pit, Do. Not. Bring. It. Up. Publically. Use a spoilerbox, and think carefully about whether this is the place to broach the topic at all.

    This particular rule includes casual and glorified violence, corporal punishment, and in-relationship rape. Which I would hope fell under politics and sex enough they wouldn't come up anyway, but hey.


    Glossary of Common Terms

    And, for reference, here is a list of commonly used words and definitions by our community. Please understand that this list is currently undergoing construction right now. Any contributions to the list are appreciated.
    Spoiler
    Show
    LGBT: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans*

    LGBTA: LGBT+Asexual

    Lagerbeta: A fine brewski to be drunk by all - the name comes from the above abbreviation.

    QUILTBAG:
    Q - Queer and Questioning
    U - Unidentified
    I - Intersex
    L - Lesbian
    T - Transgender, Transexual
    B - Bisexual
    A - Asexual
    G - Gay, Genderqueer

    Where a word below is in italics, that means it has it's own entry on the list.

    A note on labels: many of these labels are seemingly interchangeable, and for some people they are. However, please do not presume to correct or judge another person's use of a label. Bisexual and Pansexual are especially tricky in this regard, as are transgender and transsexual to a lesser degree.
    Often the difference in why one person feels one label is appropriate and not another is deeply personal. If you wish to know more it is probably a topic to seek private advice on, from one of the people listed in the next section.


    AFAB/AMAB: Assigned Female/Male at Birth

    Agendered: Someone who lacks a gender.

    Androgyne: Gender Identity with male and female aspects.

    Androsexual: A person who is attracted to men.

    Asexual: A person who does not feel any/some sexual attraction.

    Binary, The: See: Gender Binary.

    Bisexual: 1. attracted to two genders; 2. attracted to one's own gender and another gender; 3. attracted to various genders; 4. attracted to people regardless of gender; 5. ask the person who says they're bi what exactly they mean by that. See also Pansexual

    Cis: See: Cisgender

    Cisgender (CG): Somebody whose gender and sex align.

    Demisexual: A person who is sexually attracted to someone(s) only after they have formed an intense emotional relationship with.

    Dysphoria: The disassociation Trans* people feel with their own body.

    Male-to-Female (MtF): Someone who was assigned male at birth, but is female. (AKA: trans woman)

    Female: See: Woman

    Female-to-Male (FtM): Someone who was assigned female at birth, but is male. (AKA: trans man)

    FAAB: Female Assigned at Birth.

    Feminine: Something generally associated by society with women.

    FFS: Facial Feminization Surgery: Surgery to reduce chin/nose/cheekbones. Associated primarily with MAAB Trans people

    FtM: See: Female to Male

    Gay: A man who is attracted to men.

    Gender Binary: The commonly held notion that there are only men and women on two extremes, with nothing in between.

    Gender Expression (GE): How one expresses their Gender Identity to society.

    Gender Identity (GI): How one feels inside society's idea of "man, woman, or other".

    Genderfluid: Someone who fluctuates between different genders.

    Genderqueer (GQ): Someone who is not of a binary gender; someone who is not male or female.

    Gynosexual: A person who is attracted to women.

    Heterosexual: A person who is attracted to members of the opposite gender.

    Homosexual: A person who is attracted to members of their gender.

    HRT: Hormone replacement therapy. MtF's tend to progestrogens, oestrogens and androgen blockers, while FtM's take testosterone almost exculsively.

    Lesbian: A woman who is attracted to women.

    MAAB: Male Assigned at Birth.

    Male-to-Female (MtF): Someone who was assigned male at birth, but is female. (AKA: trans woman)

    Man/men: A cis man or trans man. Male.

    Masculine: Something generally associated by society with men.

    Pansexual: A person who is attracted to people regardless of gender. See also Bisexual

    Polyamorous: A person who is interested in a relationship with more than one person.

    Presenting: Trans* shorthand for appearing as their preferred gender, regardless of any HRT, SRS or other changes.

    Trans*: Transsexual and Transgender primarily, with the asterisk denoting that the trans- prefix could be followed by any number of appropriate words. It also includes other labels, and is a catch-all term for people who identify as something other than their biological sex at birth.

    Transgender: Used in reference to a person whose sex(body) and gender(mind) are at odds or do not match. A transgender person can also identify as genderqueer, transsexual, or may use transgender as their only identity.

    Transitioning: The process a Trans* person undergoes to move to their preferred gender. Often includes HRT, SRS, FFS.

    Transsexual: In common terms the same as transgender above. In medical terms refers specifically to people who wish to transition from male to female or female to male, not accommodating any other options.

    SRS: Sex Reassignment Surgery: Surgery to replace/transform a vagina into a penis, or vice versa. Mastectomies or plastic surgery may be used on breasts.

    Sexual Orientation (SO): How one identifies who they are attracted to.

    Significant Other(s) (SO): Person(s) you are in a relationship with.

    Third-gendered: Someone who fits in a local society's third gender, usually male performing female tasks, occasionally vice versa. Also a person who feels they do not identify with any other gender identity.

    Woman: A cis woman or trans woman. Female.

    Allies: Hetereosexual-Cisgender people who support equality for sexual, gender, and romantic minorities.



    Private Consultation.

    We have a list of people whoa re willing and able to discuss topics that may not be thread-appropriate but are still topical. They can be reached by Personal Message (PM), thought they may not respond immediately, or may be on sabbatical.

    Spoiler: Topical Consultants
    Show

    Name: Especially familiar with the topic(s) of
    KenderWizard: General/basics, gender and feminism, bisexuality
    Musashi: General/basics, asexuality/demisexuality, depression
    noparlpf: General/basics, asexuality, greysexuality, biology, Skype
    Lea Plath: Genderfluidity
    Lycunadari: Genderqueer and agendered
    Eldest: General/basics, bisexuality, polyamory, pansexuality will Skype(voice if needed, no video)
    HMS Sophia: Trans stuff (esp hormones)
    Lix Lorn: General/basics
    Eirala: Trans stuff (esp emotional issues), Skype(no voice or video, however)
    Absol197: Gender identity issues
    Warkitty: Academic/technical discussions
    Lentrax: General/basics, depression, bullying
    Wormwood74: Transgender legal issues, transgender outside contacts
    Astrella: GSRM rights, feminism, trans stuff, Skype
    Asteron Questar: Relationships, depression
    Mystic Muse: Skype-y goodness.
    Socratov: Skype-ness
    Chess435: Skype
    Irish Musician: PM, Rants/Venting
    Metditto: PM/Skype for L, T, GQ, BDSM(Off-thread or Spoiler Triggered), demisexual, feminism, therapy, depression, dissociative identities
    inuyasha: Shoulder on which to cry, someone to listen
    Partysan: PM/Skype, polyamory, pansexuality, BDSM(Off-thread or Spoiler Triggered), Rants/Venting
    TaiLiu: General Transgender information, transphobia.
    Enrico Dandolo (Caroline) : Trans stuff, mental health, feminism, asexuality, hugs. PM first, Skype chat if asked.


    Some people are also willing to talk off-board, through Skype or email or other means; this is especially useful if your question involves board-forbidden topics such as religion or politics. Also, we can't (and ethically shouldn't!) give medical advice. If you need medical advice, please see a professional!

    And as a parting note, I will say that even though moderators do not read PMs, they are still part of the forum and still subject to forums rules. Non-allowed topics and discussion should NOT be conducted via PM.


    Previous Incarnations

    Like the Glorious and Unconquered Sun, we have risen, lived, died, and risen anew, with many faces, many voices, many hearts. In this past, much can be found, both good, and bad, should one be brave or perhaps, foolish, enough to seek it.

    Spoiler: Past Threads
    Show
    1. LGBT people in the playground
    2. LGBT people in the playground - part II
    3. LGBTitp - part III
    4. LGBTitp 4: We are a family?
    5. LGBTitp - Part Five
    6. LGBTitp - Part Six
    7. LGBTitp - Part Seven
    8. LGBTitp - Part Eight
    9. LGBTitp - Part Nine
    10. LGBTAitp - Part Ten
    11. LGBTAitp - Part Eleven
    12. LGBTAitp - Part Twelve
    13. LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
    14. LGBTAitp - Part Fourteen
    15. LGBTAitp - Part Fifteen
    16. LGBTAitp - Part Sixteen
    17. LGBTAitp - Part Seventeen
    18. LGBTAitp - Part Eighteen!
    19. LGBTAitp - Part Nineteen
    20. LGBTAitp - Part Twenty - Critical Hit!
    21. LGBTAitp - Part Twenty-One - BLACKJACK!
    22. LGBTAitP Part 22: The Best There Is
    23. LGBTAitP Part 23: Et tu, ~Bianca?
    24. LGBTAitP: Alphabet Soup-with 24 different Vitamins!
    25. LGBTAitP part 25: Doing Away With Subtitles
    26. LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
    27. LGBTAitP 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
    28. LGBTAitP #28: Come Taste the Rainbow!
    29. LGBTAitP #29: The Rainbow Outreach Program
    30. LGBTAitP 30: Free Cuddles (Enquire Within)
    31. LGBTAitP #31: Cuddles Are On Back Order. Have Some Snuggles!
    32. LGBTAitp #32: The Great Plushie Invasion!
    33. LGBTAitp #33: The Thread at the End of the Rainbow!
    34. LGTAitP #34: <3!!
    35. LGBTAitp #35: What Midlife Crisis? :3
    36. LGBTAitp #36: May Contain Bites!
    37. LGBTAitP #37: Once upon a time...
    38. LGBTAitP #38: Once More With Feeling!!
    39. LGBTAitP #38: Making Your Way in the World Today....
    40. LGBTAitP #40: Technicolour Partyboat
    41. LGBTAitp #41 - Imprecise Terminology Supercenter
    42. LGBTAitp #42: Better Than Skittles/The Meaning of Life!
    43. LGBTAitp #43 [Insert snappy subtitle here]
    44. LGBTAIitP #44: Quick, We Need To Vote A New Title!
    45. LGBTAIitP #45: Rainbow Anarchy





    Webcomics that touch on... Well, everything related to the thread.
    Spoiler
    Show
    Venus Envy. Long dead webcomic. The creator has chosen not to continue it and move forward in life.
    Rain. A story of a MtF girl in high school.
    Khaos Komix.As the creator puts it(from his site): "A complete GLBTWTFBBQ comic about gender and sexuality. (Trigger warnings for EVERYTHING and nothing is safe for work.)"
    Always Raining Here. "Adrian is heartsick, Carter is horny. This is a story about their misadventures as awkward teenagers as they fumble through unrequited romances."
    Tripping over you.An awkward blind date leads to better options.
    Questionable Content. The LGBTA characters are well done, and not stereotypes.
    What's normal anyway. "What’s Normal Anyway? is a comic that discusses the trans male experience through the story of Mel, who takes the big risk of being himself and transitioning from female to male."
    Princess. A webcomic.
    Twokinds. Keveak: "It generally portrays GRSM matters positively and is quite a nice tale overall."
    Misfile The Rose Dragon: "Ash is a young boy who, as a result of a screw-up in Heaven, gets stuck in a girl's body in a life he doesn't recognize, and has to deal with the changes and challenges of his new body while trying to get back his old life. Supernatural hijinks and car racing are involved."
    I know I missed a few webcomics, and if anyone finds more, feel free to PM them to me with a brief description, and I will add them.


    The Brand New LGBTA Arts & Crafts Thread!
    Last edited by Chess435; 2014-01-03 at 11:13 AM.
    ^~Cody T.~^

    "I see now that the circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant; it is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are." - Mewtwo

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Sabeki's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2013
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    Cascadia
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    Default Re: LGBTAitp #46: I cast Prismatic Hugs!

    Ahh, new thread smell! Oh, wait, my nose is clogged, so I can't smell anything
    Still, yay, new thread!
    The statement below is true
    The statement above is false

    Thanks to Grinner Cuthalion for the avatar!

    Want to play a birdie in 4e? Come check it out!

  3. - Top - End - #3
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
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    Lacey, Washington
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    Default Re: LGBTAitp #46: I cast Prismatic Hugs!

    Quote Originally Posted by Sabeki View Post
    Ahh, new thread smell! Oh, wait, my nose is clogged, so I can't smell anything
    Still, yay, new thread!
    *offers some of the hot mustard you get at chinese restaurants*

    That'll clear you right up, I promise.
    ^~Cody T.~^

    "I see now that the circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant; it is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are." - Mewtwo

  4. - Top - End - #4
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Brazen Shield's Avatar

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    In SiuiS' loving arms
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    Default Re: LGBTAitp #46: I cast Prismatic Hugs!

    Oh man. The worst kind of stuffy noses are the ones that even wasabi doesn't unclog...
    Thank you ShadowySilence for the awesome policepony avatar!
    Quote Originally Posted by SiuiS View Post
    I love my filly~

  5. - Top - End - #5
    Banned
     
    SiuiS's Avatar

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    Default Re: LGBTAitp #46: I cast Prismatic Hugs!

    Quote Originally Posted by Heliomance View Post
    So apparently Hallmark decided to take the word "gay" out of Deck The Halls. George Takei responded.
    Huh. Is that from Takei? I can't seem to find any information, but that's due to the amazon phone interface being so dumbed down.

    Quote Originally Posted by Brazen Shield View Post
    I also like Prismatic Hugs :) SiuiS is also up and about now, though driving to work.
    Maybe a new thread will be made soon~?
    Nah. The ponythread issue with one person insisting on owning the thread is kind of weird. Whoever makes it, makes it. It's all good.

    Good work, that Pokemon.

  6. - Top - End - #6
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    NecromancerGuy

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    Default Re: LGBTAitp #46: I cast Prismatic Hugs!

    Hmm. Right on the money with the first post of page 50 for the new thread. That's timing, alright.
    Last edited by Coidzor; 2013-12-09 at 02:31 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Keld Denar View Post
    +3 Girlfriend is totally unoptimized. You are better off with a +1 Keen Witty girlfriend and then appling Greater Magic Make-up to increase her enhancement bonus.
    Homebrew
    To Do: Reboot and finish Riptide

  7. - Top - End - #7
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: LGBTAitp #46: I cast Prismatic Hugs!

    Quote Originally Posted by SiuiS View Post
    Nah. The ponythread issue with one person insisting on owning the thread is kind of weird. Whoever makes it, makes it. It's all good.

    Good work, that Pokemon.
    What happens if Trixie isn't available for some reason?

    (Btw, it's a Shaymin. )

    Quote Originally Posted by Coidzor View Post
    Hmm. Right on the money with the first post of page 50 for the new thread. That's timing, alright.
    I was refeshing for post #1470 just for that.
    Last edited by Chess435; 2013-12-09 at 01:54 AM.
    ^~Cody T.~^

    "I see now that the circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant; it is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are." - Mewtwo

  8. - Top - End - #8
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Eldest's Avatar

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    Default Re: LGBTAitp #46: I cast Prismatic Hugs!

    Sooo... finals tomorrow. Well, today. In 6 hours. Wish me luck? And hugs?
    LGBTA+itP

  9. - Top - End - #9
    Ogre in the Playground
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    QLD, Australia
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    Default Re: LGBTAitp #46: I cast Prismatic Hugs!

    Quote Originally Posted by Eldest View Post
    Sooo... finals tomorrow. Well, today. In 6 hours. Wish me luck? And hugs?
    *casts Wish for luck and hugs* *suddenly, wild pairs of arms fly from everywhere and crush you with hugs, while rainbows shower you with luck*
    Avatar by Dirtytabs.

    Epic quotes:
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elemental View Post
    Ahh Kyth'ra... A knight of such honour and virtue, not to mention suppressed homicidal rage.
    Quote Originally Posted by Morph Bark View Post
    His life was over.
    Quote Originally Posted by C'nor View Post
    Mystic who fluffs things with madness and zeal,
    Mynxae who always seeks rifts to heal,
    The lovely Dark Lady who's never at odds;
    These are a few of our favorite mods!

  10. - Top - End - #10
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    Graustein's Avatar

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    Berlin

    Default Re: LGBTAitp #46: I cast Prismatic Hugs!

    The mere existence of this thread fills me with a tremendous amount of joy and the fact that it is in its 46th (!!) incarnation makes me glad I finally stopped lurking and joined the Playground. I even got a new webcomic out of it!

    I do have an actual question as well though.
    Spoiler
    Show
    I'm experimenting with feminine presentation (specifically makeup and nail polish) and was wondering after general tips on... well, keeping safe. Things to watch out for, I guess? Warning signs that I should probably leave an area? I live in a big city which I've heard is very queer-friendly but I have basically zero street smarts and anxiety issues to boot, so I'm loathe to just go out and do it unless I'm really sure I can feel safe. Or is not feeling safe something I should resign myself to?

    Also, anywhere on the internet where I can get actual makeup tips and stuff for the absolute beginner?

    I do realise this is somewhat vague and more info would be very helpful but I'm not inclined to announce my location publicly.

  11. - Top - End - #11
    Banned
     
    SiuiS's Avatar

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    Default Re: LGBTAitp #46: I cast Prismatic Hugs!

    Quote Originally Posted by Chess435 View Post
    What happens if Trixie isn't available for some reason?
    Either
    A) we wait for hours
    B) someone else starts it and we have weeks of grumbling and/or passive aggressive factionalization
    C) I accidentally ruin Lix Lorn's day and sulk about it for six months

    As you can see, it's a colorful and variegated system

    Quote Originally Posted by Graustein View Post
    The mere existence of this thread fills me with a tremendous amount of joy and the fact that it is in its 46th (!!) incarnation makes me glad I finally stopped lurking and joined the Playground. I even got a new webcomic out of it!

    I do have an actual question as well though.
    Spoiler
    Show
    I'm experimenting with feminine presentation (specifically makeup and nail polish) and was wondering after general tips on... well, keeping safe. Things to watch out for, I guess? Warning signs that I should probably leave an area? I live in a big city which I've heard is very queer-friendly but I have basically zero street smarts and anxiety issues to boot, so I'm loathe to just go out and do it unless I'm really sure I can feel safe. Or is not feeling safe something I should resign myself to?

    Also, anywhere on the internet where I can get actual makeup tips and stuff for the absolute beginner?

    I do realise this is somewhat vague and more info would be very helpful but I'm not inclined to announce my location publicly.
    Nothing specific to your situation so much as just general caution.

    Be aware of those around you. If something seems suspicious, don't be subtle and watch it, be obvious and watch it. Don't go through dimly lit areas. Don't travel alone through unfamiliar territory. Keep a phone handy.

    Odds are good that anyone who would consider preying on you will see this and you'll never see them because they look for an easier mark. There's always those people this won't deter though, and those are the ones who will start something in a crowded room. And for that, there's some advice that folks often link to victim blaming, until they hear that boys have to do it too, and are just used to it;

    Be ready to defend yourself.
    It doesn't need to be much. You're better off with it not being much. But something, anything, that serves as a distraction will help. Someone drunk tries to corner you? Put objects between you – tables, stools, chairs and counters, other people – make it clear you don't want any trouble (loudly) and if worst comes to worst, make an opening and run. If you've got to shotgun a handful of coins at someone or toss a salt shaker or even actually flip a table, do it. Just... Don't stand there and wait to see what happens afterwards. If you honestly fear for your safety get the hell out of dodge and call emergency services. Or dial in the number and just don't hit send yet.

    Also, know your local laws and customs. Where I live, everything above covers me legally, especially the vocal "do not want, leave me alone" and the fast exit. That doesn't work everywhere. Some police stations are fine staying on the phone with you while you're in a damage round place without sending a car unless they hear something, some get irate you're burning their clock. Preparation is always key.

  12. - Top - End - #12
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: LGBTAitp #46: I cast Prismatic Hugs!

    Quote Originally Posted by Chess435 View Post
    Also, could some of you PM Max and talk to him? He's putting up with a lot of crap right now and could use advice and hugs.
    Reposting from last thread.
    ^~Cody T.~^

    "I see now that the circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant; it is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are." - Mewtwo

  13. - Top - End - #13
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    mistformsquirrl's Avatar

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    Default Re: LGBTAitp #46: I cast Prismatic Hugs!

    Quote Originally Posted by Eldest View Post
    Sooo... finals tomorrow. Well, today. In 6 hours. Wish me luck? And hugs?
    Good luck! <^,^> *massive hugs*
    Computer is back! Yay!

    Feel free to check out my Deviantart page - it's not great, but I'm trying to change that.

    Current avatar by me <>_<> Needs work.

    Previous Avatars:
    Spoiler
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    - By FlyingChicken <^,^> - By Akrim.elf <^.^>

  14. - Top - End - #14
    Banned
     
    Skeppio's Avatar

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    Default Re: LGBTAitp #46: I cast Prismatic Hugs!

    Quote Originally Posted by LaZodiac View Post
    I completely disagree with that, the both of you fine ladies look...well, fine.
    *hugs* Thanks...

    I dunno, I don't think I look very cute. My socks may look neat, but I don't have anything to go with them, and they'd still be attached to me and not a prettier girl... ._.

  15. - Top - End - #15
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    KenderWizard's Avatar

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    Default Re: LGBTAitp #46: I cast Prismatic Hugs!

    Lena, I am so thrilled that your mam seems to be really accepting who you are, that gesture about the ring is wonderful. ((hugs))

    Quote Originally Posted by Eldest View Post
    Sooo... finals tomorrow. Well, today. In 6 hours. Wish me luck? And hugs?
    Good luck! And good hugs!

    Quote Originally Posted by Graustein View Post
    The mere existence of this thread fills me with a tremendous amount of joy and the fact that it is in its 46th (!!) incarnation makes me glad I finally stopped lurking and joined the Playground. I even got a new webcomic out of it!

    I do have an actual question as well though.
    Spoiler
    Show
    I'm experimenting with feminine presentation (specifically makeup and nail polish) and was wondering after general tips on... well, keeping safe. Things to watch out for, I guess? Warning signs that I should probably leave an area? I live in a big city which I've heard is very queer-friendly but I have basically zero street smarts and anxiety issues to boot, so I'm loathe to just go out and do it unless I'm really sure I can feel safe. Or is not feeling safe something I should resign myself to?

    Also, anywhere on the internet where I can get actual makeup tips and stuff for the absolute beginner?

    I do realise this is somewhat vague and more info would be very helpful but I'm not inclined to announce my location publicly.
    Hello, Graustein! Welcome to the thread!

    I say, trust your instincts. If you're getting a bad vibe from a street or an area, or a group of people, don't tell yourself you're being silly, you're subconsciously picking up on stuff and it's better to be safe than sorry. Generally speaking, the safest places are well lit and have lots of people. If you live in a queer-friendly city, you should be fine, and you should also be able to google your city and find out which areas in particular are queer friendly. You will probably not feel completely safe all the time, but it's possible to learn to be alert and manage your anxieties, and when you get to know the queer areas of your city better, you'll feel much less anxious. Good luck!

    Cheerfairy, Kenderwoman and Geologist by Succubus, Feminist Geomancer by Astrella, Kender Wizard by me

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    Default Re: LGBTAitp #46: I cast Prismatic Hugs!

    Hey, Kender. Have you any interest in or have you seen Disney's Frozen? I'd like your opinion on it and it seems thread-relevant. Or alt least in line with prior thread-relevant conversations.

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    Default Re: LGBTAitp #46: I cast Prismatic Hugs!

    So, after thinking a lot during the last few years, I have decided for a breast augmentation surgery.
    But I am going for the fat grafting breast augmentation option, instead of the usual saline or silicone implants, as I don't want to have an strange body inside my body.
    I should have it middle February and the expected result is 50% to 70% more breast volume from what I have now (not that 50% of almost nothing is much, but it is better than the current status quo!).
    I shall post about the experience here after it happens and how consistent the results are through the expected 6 months of healing before the result is considered final.

    Should prove to be interesting and actually good for my self esteem.
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    Default Re: LGBTAitp #46: I cast Prismatic Hugs!

    Quote Originally Posted by Graustein View Post
    The mere existence of this thread fills me with a tremendous amount of joy and the fact that it is in its 46th (!!) incarnation makes me glad I finally stopped lurking and joined the Playground. I even got a new webcomic out of it!

    I do have an actual question as well though.
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    I'm experimenting with feminine presentation (specifically makeup and nail polish) and was wondering after general tips on... well, keeping safe. Things to watch out for, I guess? Warning signs that I should probably leave an area? I live in a big city which I've heard is very queer-friendly but I have basically zero street smarts and anxiety issues to boot, so I'm loathe to just go out and do it unless I'm really sure I can feel safe. Or is not feeling safe something I should resign myself to?

    Also, anywhere on the internet where I can get actual makeup tips and stuff for the absolute beginner?

    I do realise this is somewhat vague and more info would be very helpful but I'm not inclined to announce my location publicly.
    I also live in a big, queer-friendly city and have anxiety issues and zero street smarts, if that helps. I am also presenting almost full time as female (6 days a week) without hormones.

    I don't know about what is needed to "keep safe", but I do know about not being paralized by fear, which is much more important. "Safe" or not, you will need to be able to buy groceries without being afraid.

    The trick is: just do it, step by step. You mention only nail polish and makeup: really, to be honest, most people on the street won't notice or care, and certainly won't identify you as a dangerous "tranny" to be killed if you're otherwise presenting as male. So go out, notice how you didn't get assaulted, go back home and celebrate. After that, if you want, maybe just go out with feminine clothes under masculine ones, or with slightly feminine clothing that pass as androgynous, etc. This is just so you feel you are sort of presenting as female, even though others won't notice it enough to attack you at random.

    I promise you you probably won't be kidnapped or raped or mugged or thrown of a bridge. And every time nothing be happens will be additional conditionning for you, which means you might have the strength to go out even more boldly as female the next time. It's in effect a DIY cognitive behavioral therapy -- if you went to a psychologist, it's likely they would tell you to do exactly that.

    Anyway. Are you planning to transition?

    For makeup: What kind of tips do you want? Just hide the beard, or something more elaborate?

    In any case, there are many tutorials on Youtube, including ones for and by trans girls who are, in all likelihood, relative beginners themselves talking to absolute beginners.
    Quote Originally Posted by Eldest View Post
    Sooo... finals tomorrow. Well, today. In 6 hours. Wish me luck? And hugs?
    I wish you luck.

    I'm starting myself in 2 hours. Archeology.

    Anyone wants to hear about the differences and similarities between the art and architecture under Trajan and Hadrian? (God I'm glad I'm a medieval historian, not a classical archeologist, and will have the right the forget every single piece of this nonsense in a few hours.)
    Last edited by Miriel; 2013-12-09 at 06:30 AM.

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    Default Re: LGBTAitp #46: I cast Prismatic Hugs!

    Quote Originally Posted by Eldest View Post
    Sooo... finals tomorrow. Well, today. In 6 hours. Wish me luck? And hugs?
    Good luck! *hugs*

    For me finals start tomorrow, one a day through Friday.
    Jude P.

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    Default Re: LGBTAitp #46: I cast Prismatic Hugs!

    Quote Originally Posted by SMEE View Post
    So, after thinking a lot during the last few years, I have decided for a breast augmentation surgery.
    But I am going for the fat grafting breast augmentation option, instead of the usual saline or silicone implants, as I don't want to have an strange body inside my body.
    I should have it middle February and the expected result is 50% to 70% more breast volume from what I have now (not that 50% of almost nothing is much, but it is better than the current status quo!).
    I shall post about the experience here after it happens and how consistent the results are through the expected 6 months of healing before the result is considered final.

    Should prove to be interesting and actually good for my self esteem.
    ... Huh. I didn't know that was a possibility. Interesting. Will google.

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    Default Re: LGBTAitp #46: I cast Prismatic Hugs!

    Quote Originally Posted by Graustein View Post
    I do have an actual question as well though.

    Spoiler
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    Things to watch out for, I guess? Warning signs that I should probably leave an area? I live in a big city which I've heard is very queer-friendly but I have basically zero street smarts and anxiety issues to boot, so I'm loathe to just go out and do it unless I'm really sure I can feel safe. Or is not feeling safe something I should resign myself to?
    Being a fellow Australian I can say that Sydney is in my experience is pretty much fine. Like, I've had a variety of minor issues here and there but what I found easiest was to go out with friends to places I know well as that gives you a safe layer of familiarity to cover the anxiety.

    I don't really "go out" go out, I tend to do like shopping / dinner / movie / coffee but it can be pretty tough. Sticking to high traffic areas can be a plus as despite there being lots of people about it means there are too many people for you to stand out (or feel like you are).
    But really, for me understanding being with you at first friends and families are a big plus.


    Also, anywhere on the internet where I can get actual makeup tips and stuff for the absolute beginner?
    I like Lisa Eldrige's videos myself for general makeup stuff (go to the beginning of her video list for basics - she really explains what everything's for in great detail IMO. Tina de Wert has far less videos, but they are trans specific.

    For buying make-up, I mostly shop from Target or Woolies to be honest, though going somewhere like DJs or Myer would allow you to get assistance from the clerks though that is a more anxiety inducing prospect I know. That said I'm yet to have any issue with any staff in any store - far more problems with customers when I'm working.

    Princess in the streets.
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    Default Re: LGBTAitp #46: I cast Prismatic Hugs!

    *nests in the new thread*



    So, I've already mentioned BF's aunt, whom I've helped occasionally with stuff, and who's got a bunch of problems, a few of which having to do with the fact she's trans.
    Well, I'm worried about her, and it's nothing I can help about.
    Spoiler: Trigger warning: potential death
    Show
    Long story short, she's not had breast augmentation surgery. She's planning to have that very, very soon; the appointment was already made.
    Problem is, she's got a medical condition that is unlikely to be noticed on time during or before the surgery, but that is serious enough that any surgery has to be planned around it. But she never talked about that medical condition to the surgeon. She omitted the fact on purpose.
    Her logic being that she's afraid the surgery would be cancelled, not just delayed.
    She's going to undergo the surgery this month. I hope everything goes smoothly, but that's not very likely.

    My opinion is that I understand the importance the procedure, but you won't get to enjoy the results if you're dead, which is alarmingly likely to happen here, so lying about your health is a terrible idea. But that's just my opinion, and I don't think it's a great idea to share it with her.

    (I also suspect she might not mind death so much because her life is spiraling out of control and there's no light at the end of the tunnel. None of those who still speak to her have the means to help her. Would it be right to remind her that if she should die during the surgery, those of us who still care about her will suffer from her decision? I don't know, and there must not be a right answer to this interrogation.)
    At any rate, if something goes wrong, regardless of her choice and the direct consequences on her, the surgeon will have to deal with the fallout, even though it's hardly going to be his fault.
    Quote Originally Posted by on Dwarf Fortress succession games
    I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.
    Quote Originally Posted by Dwarf Fortress 0.40.01 bugs
    - If an adventurer shouts and nobody is around to hear it, the game crashes
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    Default Re: LGBTAitp #46: I cast Prismatic Hugs!

    Quote Originally Posted by Musashi View Post
    *nests in the new thread*



    So, I've already mentioned BF's aunt, whom I've helped occasionally with stuff, and who's got a bunch of problems, a few of which having to do with the fact she's trans.
    Well, I'm worried about her, and it's nothing I can help about.
    Spoiler: Trigger warning: potential death
    Show
    Long story short, she's not had breast augmentation surgery. She's planning to have that very, very soon; the appointment was already made.
    Problem is, she's got a medical condition that is unlikely to be noticed on time during or before the surgery, but that is serious enough that any surgery has to be planned around it. But she never talked about that medical condition to the surgeon. She omitted the fact on purpose.
    Her logic being that she's afraid the surgery would be cancelled, not just delayed.
    She's going to undergo the surgery this month. I hope everything goes smoothly, but that's not very likely.

    My opinion is that I understand the importance the procedure, but you won't get to enjoy the results if you're dead, which is alarmingly likely to happen here, so lying about your health is a terrible idea. But that's just my opinion, and I don't think it's a great idea to share it with her.

    (I also suspect she might not mind death so much because her life is spiraling out of control and there's no light at the end of the tunnel. None of those who still speak to her have the means to help her. Would it be right to remind her that if she should die during the surgery, those of us who still care about her will suffer from her decision? I don't know, and there must not be a right answer to this interrogation.)
    At any rate, if something goes wrong, regardless of her choice and the direct consequences on her, the surgeon will have to deal with the fallout, even though it's hardly going to be his fault.
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    Geez. Is there anything you can do about it besides try to get her to rethink telling the surgeon about it?
    Jude P.

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    Default Re: LGBTAitp #46: I cast Prismatic Hugs!

    Quote Originally Posted by noparlpf View Post
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    Geez. Is there anything you can do about it besides try to get her to rethink telling the surgeon about it?
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    Her own sister (my awesome mother-in-law, the last sibling who stays in touch with her) tried and failed. I don't think I, the girl who just comes sometimes for tea and driving her at places, will have more success.
    Quote Originally Posted by on Dwarf Fortress succession games
    I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.
    Quote Originally Posted by Dwarf Fortress 0.40.01 bugs
    - If an adventurer shouts and nobody is around to hear it, the game crashes
    - War Dogs appear to run from themselves in terror
    - New tree generation frequently causes birds to explode

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    Default Re: LGBTAitp #46: I cast Prismatic Hugs!

    I've been hearing a lot of trans women identify with Anna, so I'm going to be looking for those cues and aggressively headcanoning her as a trans girl~

    Also I tried to read the OP as a person who doesn't know what LGBT stood for and I was very confused until I got to the glossary (and maybe the word gay in #4 after a second reading) so maybe you could talk about queers a little earlier as opposed to just saying "All Inclusive"? It's really ambiguous what the threads about until halfway down imo.

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    Default Re: LGBTAitp #46: I cast Prismatic Hugs!

    Quote Originally Posted by Musashi View Post
    *nests in the new thread*



    So, I've already mentioned BF's aunt, whom I've helped occasionally with stuff, and who's got a bunch of problems, a few of which having to do with the fact she's trans.
    Well, I'm worried about her, and it's nothing I can help about.
    Spoiler: Trigger warning: potential death
    Show
    Long story short, she's not had breast augmentation surgery. She's planning to have that very, very soon; the appointment was already made.
    Problem is, she's got a medical condition that is unlikely to be noticed on time during or before the surgery, but that is serious enough that any surgery has to be planned around it. But she never talked about that medical condition to the surgeon. She omitted the fact on purpose.
    Her logic being that she's afraid the surgery would be cancelled, not just delayed.
    She's going to undergo the surgery this month. I hope everything goes smoothly, but that's not very likely.

    My opinion is that I understand the importance the procedure, but you won't get to enjoy the results if you're dead, which is alarmingly likely to happen here, so lying about your health is a terrible idea. But that's just my opinion, and I don't think it's a great idea to share it with her.

    (I also suspect she might not mind death so much because her life is spiraling out of control and there's no light at the end of the tunnel. None of those who still speak to her have the means to help her. Would it be right to remind her that if she should die during the surgery, those of us who still care about her will suffer from her decision? I don't know, and there must not be a right answer to this interrogation.)
    At any rate, if something goes wrong, regardless of her choice and the direct consequences on her, the surgeon will have to deal with the fallout, even though it's hardly going to be his fault.
    Spoiler
    Show
    I'd be horrified and devastated if one of my patients did something like that to me. Doctors and surgeons are not unthinking robots - when a patient dies on an operating table in front of them, their blood is literally on their hands and the psychological fallout from that can destroy people. I've seen it happen.

    I hate to put this so bluntly but what your aunt is doing right now is unbelievably selfish but worse than that, unnecessary. A complication does not mean that surgery will automatically be denied - surgeons can spend days or even weeks planning an operation and almost all complications can be worked around in some way. Is your aunt really going to gamble her continued existence to avoid discussing some personal worries?

    Sorry to be so harsh with all this, Musashi but invasive surgery has to factor in everything. If you can try to convince her, you'd be making the right call.

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    Default Re: LGBTAitp #46: I cast Prismatic Hugs!

    Quote Originally Posted by The Succubus View Post
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    I'd be horrified and devastated if one of my patients did something like that to me. Doctors and surgeons are not unthinking robots - when a patient dies on an operating table in front of them, their blood is literally on their hands and the psychological fallout from that can destroy people. I've seen it happen.

    I hate to put this so bluntly but what your aunt is doing right now is unbelievably selfish but worse than that, unnecessary. A complication does not mean that surgery will automatically be denied - surgeons can spend days or even weeks planning an operation and almost all complications can be worked around in some way. Is your aunt really going to gamble her continued existence to avoid discussing some personal worries?

    Sorry to be so harsh with all this, Musashi but invasive surgery has to factor in everything. If you can try to convince her, you'd be making the right call.
    Spoiler
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    You're right, it's probably best to remind her there are other actors in this scenario and the hospital staff doesn't deserve that. Also, I was personally aware that even for all the gatekeeping, it was unlikely the procedure was going to be outright cancelled, but alas, that's her fear, not mine, and fear doesn't need to be rational.
    Problem? I know about it because my mother-in-law told me, I wasn't told by the interested party. I don't even know if I'm supposed to be aware of this.
    Therefore she might take it badly that I'm minding her business unasked. But I probably should call M-I-L back instead and talk her about it so she could have a second shot in this discussion?
    (Life's unfair. M-I-L has metric tons of work and problems of her own, she hardly has time for that.)
    Quote Originally Posted by on Dwarf Fortress succession games
    I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.
    Quote Originally Posted by Dwarf Fortress 0.40.01 bugs
    - If an adventurer shouts and nobody is around to hear it, the game crashes
    - War Dogs appear to run from themselves in terror
    - New tree generation frequently causes birds to explode

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    Default Re: LGBTAitp #46: I cast Prismatic Hugs!

    Musashi:
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    My first thought was to tell the surgeon - obviously a lot harder but if it's a literally life threatening situation they need to know.


    QK - Anna? Also very good point about the intro.
    Princess in the streets.
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    Don't touch me I'm royalty.

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    Default Re: LGBTAitp #46: I cast Prismatic Hugs!

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    This is going to be rather uncomfortable but it needs to be said. A lot of doctors get accused of gatekeeping, or denying treatment purely out of spite, bigotry, discrimination or whatever. Occasionally, though, people put up gates and what not because the thing on the other side of it is actually dangerous.

    If a conversation seems awkward or you're afraid of having it, ask yourself if it's less awkward or unpleasant than planning a funeral. It's a pretty decent rule of thumb for life in general.

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    Default Re: LGBTAitp #46: I cast Prismatic Hugs!

    A friend dropped by tonight, and I tried on her Tudor gown for ****s and giggles.
    My god this thing is HUGE! So many layers..

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