Guys that like to roleplay female characters

[Alroy_Kamenwati]

Hi, so I'm in a bit of a conundrum. I really enjoy roleplaying as female characters, mostly because for some reason, whatever they may be, I make them more interesting than my male counterparts. I'm going to be roleplaying with a new group, and I'm rather worried about how they may react if I make a girl character. I guess what I'm looking for is maybe some opinions on the matter, perhaps with people who have more experience than I do with dealing with a new group and maybe some advice on how to introduce the idea that I'm going to be playing a girl.

Also, we are doing a Star Wars RP. I don't know the system, and the group of guys I'm playing with I haven't known for more than a month.

Thanks.

[Calen]

I'd say it's not a big deal. One of the (male) players in the game I play is playing a lady. Everybody in the group said "Ok". YMMV of course.

[Berenger]

Well, depends on the group in question.

Playing a male character is always "safer". Depending on the group, playing a female character may invite riducule, ingame "drama" via sexual harassment and in my experience female players tend to universally hate young (<20 years) female characters with a passion. Coincidentally, I was told so this very day.

So my advice is, if you are shy or tend to feel alienated or don't know what maturity level that foreign group has, go safe and play a male. Or send the DM a mail and ask him if playing a character of the other gender is common in his group.

[Alroy_Kamenwati]

To be honest I tend to make female character over twenty as well xD But a lot of my characters are older.

I'm not all that shy, its the other people I'm worried about, I don't want to make other people feel uncomfortable, ya know? I'll message the DM so he can talk to his group about it, how I did it with my second group was I played a male in our first game so that they could see that I'm a decent roleplayer then I started playing girls and it worked out pretty well.

[Remmirath]

It really shouldn't be a problem. You're already playing a character, after all, so there's no reason that anybody should have a problem with you playing a character that's just a little bit more different from you.

My advice? Just play the character and explain who they are as normal. If the other players assume your character is male, correct them.

I have many times played male characters in various groups (I typically play a fairly even distribution of female and male characters, all told), and that's worked for me every time so far. Granted, for whatever bizarre reason, people seem more likely to have a problem with men playing female characters than with women playing male characters, but this advice is also what my brother does when playing female characters, and it seems to work for him as well. If people in the group give you grief about it in any form, that's probably a sign that you're not playing with the best group anyhow and may wish to look elsewhere.

Playing a male character is always "safer". Depending on the group, playing a female character may invite riducule, ingame "drama" via sexual harassment and in my experience female players tend to universally hate young (<20 years) female characters with a passion. Coincidentally, I was told so this very day.

I would say that the first two of those indicate greater problems with the group, and the second seems a bit odd to me. I certainly don't have a problem with young female characters, or at least not any more of a problem than with young male characters (young enough characters I do find to be stretching the boundaries of belief, especially at higher levels, but that has nothing to do with their gender).

[Lorsa]

The best thing you can do is to ask them how they feel about it. If they ask why, just explain like you did here that you usually find the characters are more interesting.

I personally don't care a single bit what gender my players choose for their characters. I suppose that's one of the reasons why I now have a group of 4 guys playing college girls in a nWoD campaign.

[LibraryOgre]

I usually suggest making a "safe" character for the first time with a group... something that you know will be relatively acceptable, just to figure out if you even like playing with them.

However, if you like female characters? Go for it. There's always the thought "You know what, this is what I'm gonna play. If they don't like it, I should know now, before I've invested a lot of time with people who aren't gonna like my playing, anyway."

You might also ask the GM about what everyone else is playing, and float the balloon "Is anyone gonna have a problem with this?"

[Airk]

This is a pretty good 'maturity litmus test' for a group. If you get weird or creepy reactions from being a guy playing a female character, it's a good sign that you might not want to stick around.

[Knaight]

This is a pretty good 'maturity litmus test' for a group. If you get weird or creepy reactions from being a guy playing a female character, it's a good sign that you might not want to stick around.

That seems solid, provided that the character is reasonable (e.g. a guy playing a lesbian nymphomaniac might be playing a developed character who happens to have those two traits, neither of which makes a character bad, but a response against this is also very reasonable).

[JustPlayItLoud]

I would initially be suspicious if you brought a female character to a game I was in/running, but that's due to personal experience. Aside from once or twice where the character was so bland as to effectively have neither a race or a gender, every male playing a female I've played with has played the character in an embarrassingly childish way, typically like an oversexualized, bisexual, polyamorous Valley Girl.

That said though I wouldn't make fun of someone for playing a character of the opposite gender anymore than I would make fun of them for anything else.

[Gavran]

I'm gonna put away my "totally PC" hat in order to be more helpful to you than I would with it on.

I think it's weird when people play characters that aren't of their gender*. I feel like there are no good reasons to do it. Since I feel like there are no good reasons, I assume the person has bad reasons**. It doesn't bother me so much as to not play with someone, or even close to that, but it could cause me to evaluate you somewhat more harshly than I might've otherwise.

If I were in your new group, it would be wise for you to demonstrate to me that you're someone I want to play with first, but all in all as long as you aren't overly toxic to my game (for other reasons) it'd probably be fine.

*Meaning the gender they identify as.

**Usually playing out some kind of stereotype, sometimes much worse.

[Alroy_Kamenwati]

The characters I tend to play are just characters that happen to be female, yes there are certain background tendencies and experiences that my female characters have that are related to being a girl, but I try to keep them from being oversexualized, unless that is just the character I had in mind, and as you said 'Valley Girl', but I understand your concerns.

EDIT: And I play guys too, it all depends on the character concept, sometimes I just see a personality/concept fitting better on a girl than a guy. Sometimes that is the case more often than not. I'm not abhorrent to playing my own gender, but to me I've never really been 'I'm a man therefore I must be a man!' my entire life, probably due to being raised mostly by women.

EDIT 2: Though my above statement isn't relative to my topic, and I'm sorry. Thanks for your input, I just felt the need to defend my position of playing a different gender a bit.

[Ionbound]

Eh, don't worry about it too much that your female characters are better than your male ones. In my experience, making a character of your opposite gender makes the character less "you" and more "them", which leads to the character having a more developed personality and being more fun to play. As for the others reaction's, if they have a problem with it, ask them why. If it's a legitimate reason, try to find a way to make your concept work around this issue, and if they don't call them on having a bad reason.

[Slipperychicken]

I think it's fine as long as you're mature about it.

There's a guy in my group who tends to play women just fine. He's a great roleplayer and excellent about not being That Guy. His female characters tend to be quiet, enigmatic witch-types who are clearly foreign, and don't have the same values as other PCs. He does not give them exaggerated sexual characteristics, nor are they stereotypes of traditional gender roles.


That said, many players I've seen are not mature about it, so I am wary about letting them "cross-play" unless they can convince me that they are mature.

[Eldariel]

Playing a male character is always "safer". Depending on the group, playing a female character may invite riducule, ingame "drama" via sexual harassment and in my experience female players tend to universally hate young (<20 years) female characters with a passion. Coincidentally, I was told so this very day.

Is this really restricted to female characters and female players? I universally hate teenager-and-younger characters in most games simply because they tend to be completely insane (which, of course, is well-grounded in reality so it's not even wrong, but that doesn't make them much less annoying in my experience).

[Frozen_Feet]

I'm always a bit flummoxed when people think this is anymore problematic than picking the shoe as your playing piece in Monopoly. Yeah, yeah, immaturity, sexism, all that jazz. People really need a thicker skin regarding those. Personally, if I want to play a female character, I just do it, and if someone start making stupid jokes about it, I either joke back or ignore it while continuing as planned. And if I happen to be the GM someone else makes a ridiculous character, I point it out, mock them about it, and then continue as planned. I'm used to playing at conventions or with completely new players, as far as I'm concerned well thought-out characters are so damn rare it's not worth it to get upset when a character is not. I do martial arts. Why would a game of make-belief make me more uncomfortable than rolling and sweating on a floor with a complete stranger?

[GAThraawn]

I'd certainly say from my personal experience that people that tend to be nervous about cross-gender roleplaying, assuming they're not just highly immature, are likely concerned about problematic, stereotyped and overly-sexualized characters played by an immature gamer. I'm not opposed to opposite gender roleplay if done respectfully, but most of the attempts I have witnessed have fallen into just about every pitfall possible (Imagine an enormous, hairy, biker type dude playing a succubus, jumping on every opportunity to strip his character's clothes off and hit on other PCs and the GM's NPCs in eager and graphic style. Imagine me never playing with that group again.)

I would imagine a reasonably mature group being fine with it once you demonstrate your abilities, but you might find them nervous about the concept if they've had previous bad experiences.

[Averis Vol]

In my four years of playing tabletop RPG's I just about a month ago rolled up my first female character. It was a little weird at first, I play with an immature group, but after session two or three where I showed (Not that I would ever do this in the first place) that I was able to play a female character without letting her being a female get in the way, things just sort of moved on as normal.

The most important thing is to not play up that you're a woman too much. I think the only time that it actually mattered that I was a woman, is when my group needed to sneak into a town controlled by an enemy country. we were all military special forces, so we couldn't jsut walk in, so I took off my armor tore my sleeve a bit and matted my hair and played it off like I had been attacked on the road.

The guards came to see if I was okay, I played weak and frail and made up a BS story while my group snuck inside with mine and their gear. I went to a small clinic, snuck out and got my stuff and we proceeded on with the quest. no biggie.

I think the point I'm trying to make is that if "I'm female" is the defining point of the character, there's a problem. You can describe your character without including gender and after a while make a point to bring it up, you know, once they accepted that you're playing the game straight. It doesn't need to be immediately apparent or prevalent to play the game.

[The Oni]

The one attempt I made at a female character was Jaeira Fellhammer, Orc ranger, who toted around the biggest crossbow she could carry. I don't think she was in any danger of That Guy (Playing A Girl) territory, but nobody would take the character seriously.

[Gavran]

I think the only time that it actually mattered that I was a woman, is when my group needed to sneak into a town controlled by an enemy country. we were all military special forces, so we couldn't jsut walk in, so I took off my armor tore my sleeve a bit and matted my hair and played it off like I had been attacked on the road.

The guards came to see if I was okay, I played weak and frail and made up a BS story while my group snuck inside with mine and their gear. I went to a small clinic, snuck out and got my stuff and we proceeded on with the quest. no biggie.

Would the presumably non-evil guards have ignored a man who was beaten and mugged? Were you given a circumstance bonus to the Bluff check for being female? Couldn't one of the other party members have done that, but they all (including you) assumed you should because you were playing a female character? Even in describing your success, it makes me question it... not that I'm trying to single you out. The only situation I can imagine where being male or female makes (or should make) a real difference is in carrying a baby, and frankly I'm just not sure why that would be part of your elfgames in the first place.

[The Oni]

The only situation I can imagine where being male or female makes (or should make) a real difference is in carrying a baby, and frankly I'm just not sure why that would be part of your elfgames in the first place.

Men frankly react differently to women than men. Unless we're talking about a flawlessly egalitarian society, a lady attacked on the road is a better distraction. And I'm not making any moral judgements on that, just observations.

[Gavran]

Men frankly react differently to women than men. Unless we're talking about a flawlessly egalitarian society, a lady attacked on the road is a better distraction. And I'm not making any moral judgements on that, just observations.

Correct.

However, guardsmen who are inclined to help an injured subject are inclined to help an injured subject. Again, assuming that they're non-evil guys. If they're evil guys who would ignore a male victim but help a female, then we're just perpetuating stereotypes about men being ruled by libido.

[The Oni]

My point is not that the injured man would not be helped, but rather that the injured woman would garner more attention than the injured man, and it'd be easier to sneak past the guards.

[Slipperychicken]

Correct.

However, guardsmen who are inclined to help an injured subject are inclined to help an injured subject. Again, assuming that they're non-evil guys. If they're evil guys who would ignore a male victim but help a female, then we're just perpetuating stereotypes about men being ruled by libido.

Or they're otherwise-decent people brought up in a society which perpetuates gender stereotypes.

Socializing agents (i.e. family members, peer-groups, teachers, religious figures, etc) most likely convinced them that women are more vulnerable than men, so they feel like they need to give women special attention, just like they would give to a child or a disabled person. In that context, it's not evil at all, the guards are just trying to help people who (they think) need it the most.

[The Oni]

Or they're otherwise-decent people brought up in a society which perpetuates gender stereotypes.

Socializing agents (i.e. family members, peer-groups, teachers, religious figures, etc) most likely convinced them that women are more vulnerable than men, so they feel like they need to give women special attention, just like they would give to a child or a disabled person. In that context, it's not evil at all, the guards are just trying to help people who (they think) need it the most.

It affects women, too. Studies show that on average, blonde-haired women make the best salespeople/fundraisers, even when they're selling to other women, as they appear the least threatening and the least likely to have ulterior motives. Thems the breaks.

[Kajhera]

The only situation I can imagine where being male or female makes (or should make) a real difference is in carrying a baby, and frankly I'm just not sure why that would be part of your elfgames in the first place.

Personal example? Because your character wants to have children, is presented with the opportunity to change their body into something else entirely, and decides to get pregnant before going ahead with that for the opportunity to bear children from their own body rather than the one they choose for it to become. The child is of an endangered bloodline, and that bloodline's continued existence maintains one of the wards on a powerful artifact gravely important to the functioning of a major city.

... Sometimes pregnancy is indeed a factor in a game.

[SassyQuatch]

It isn't a problem at my table. I currently have seven regular players and there are examples of both types of "swapping" as well as playing to gender. It isn't a problem unless somebody decides to make it a problem, and if they do they probably won't last long with my group.

On the other subject, "neutral" campaigns are terrible. A guard of either gender will be more sympathetic to a young elf woman than to the burly dwarf. It is thoroughly ingrained in most cultures and individual psyches and unless some real forethought is put into the setting as to why a culture is different it is bland and unrealistic to make people who treat gender as a total non-issue.

[Airk]

I think it's weird when people play characters that aren't of their gender*. I feel like there are no good reasons to do it.

Welp, that's about as far as you need to go with that. If you can't grasp that there are subtleties to culture surrounding gender, I'm not really sure what to tell you, but let me try.

First, I actually find it super weird that you had to PUT AWAY your totally PC hat to say "No no, everyone is the same, honest!" whereas I consider that the kind of response that someone who is whitewashing their views for fear of being offensive would put forth.

Is a meek, blind, waif of a teenage girl who happens to a powerful psychic more or less innocuous/surprising than a male character?
Is a mother defending her children not a different emotional vibe than a father protecting his family?
Is a matriarch who rose to power in a cutthroat, male-dominated political environment not more noteworthy than a man?
Is a female fighter who struggles for the recognition that she deserves in a predominantly male profession not an interesting story?

The real world doesn't treat men and women equally, in spite of the various efforts to the contrary. Why would a fantasy world that is making no such effort NOT treat them differently? And if two characters are treated differently, isn't that reason to play one rather than the other? Because you prefer the 'personal narrative' of one choice over the other?

[GrayGriffin]

Some of the female characters in my current weekly game are played by dudes. Some are played by girls. However, I can guarantee that if I gave you a transcript featuring only character names, you would not be able to tell the difference.

Basically, just go for it.

[NichG]

This is actually pretty common in groups I've played in/run for. My current game has a male player with a female character, a female player with a male character, a male player with a male character, and a female player with a very confused shapeshifter who is basically 'whatever works best for the given situation'.