The Goldfish Dealer

[1pwny]

The Goldfish (Snack) Dealer

We all know that feeling. One of your friends is right over there, eating from a bag of goldfish, and you want it so bad. You would do anything for just one. And when you do get one, you feel forever indentured to the other person.

The Goldfish Dealer brings this dynamic into the world of Dungeons and Dragons.

Game Information:

Alignment: Any
Starting Gold: 4d6 x 10gp (140gp)
Starting Age: Adult (as barbarian)
Hit die: d6
Skill points: 4 + Int
Skill points first level: 4 x (4 + Int)

Class Skills: A Goldfish Dealer has access to the following skills: Bluff (Cha), Diplomacy (Cha), Gather Information (Cha), Knowledge - Nobility and Royalty (Int), Sense Motive (Wis)

Level	Base Attack Bonus	Fort Save	Ref Save	Will Save	Special
1	+0	+0	+0	+2	Yummy Goldfish, Give Goldfish
2	+1	+0	+0	+3	Colored Goldfish
3	+1	+1	+1	+3	Easy Crafting
4	+2	+1	+1	+4	Colored Goldfish
5	+2	+1	+1	+4	Promotional Pitch (1/day)
6	+3	+2	+2	+5	Colored Goldfish
7	+3	+2	+2	+5	Promotional Pitch (2/day)
8	+4	+2	+2	+6	Colored Goldfish
9	+4	+3	+3	+6	Promotional Pitch (3/day)
10	+5	+3	+3	+7	Colored Goldfish
11	+5	+3	+3	+7	Promotional Pitch (4/day)
12	+6/+1	+4	+4	+8	Colored Goldfish
13	+6/+1	+4	+4	+8	Promotional Pitch (5/day)
14	+7/+2	+4	+4	+9	Colored Goldfish
15	+7/+2	+5	+5	+9	Promotional Pitch (6/day)
16	+8/+3	+5	+5	+10	Colored Goldfish
17	+8/+3	+5	+5	+10	Promotional Pitch (7/day)
18	+9/+4	+6	+6	+11	Colored Goldfish
19	+9/+4	+6	+6	+11	Promotional Pitch (8/day)
20	+10/+5	+6	+6	+12	Colored Goldfish, Fish License

Class Features:
All of the following are class features of the Goldfish Dealer.

Weapon and Armor Proficiency: A Goldfish Dealer is proficient with simple weapons, light armor, and shields.

Goldfish: A Goldfish is a small snack. A Bag Of Goldfish costs 3GP to buy, and has 50 goldfish inside of it. To craft a Bag of Goldfish requires a Craft (Goldfish) check, with a DC of 20. Goldfish are a food item. Refer to Table: Goldfish Consumption to determine how many goldfish a creature of a given size can eat. They have hardness 1 and 1 HP. Bags of goldfish weigh ½ a pound.

Yummy Goldfish: A Goldfish Dealer gets a bonus to Diplomacy, Bluff, and Gather Information checks equal to his Goldfish Dealer level against creatures eating his goldfish.

Give Goldfish: A Goldfish Dealer is adept at using the tasty snack to help in bargains. He can give another creature a handful of goldfish (as shown in Table: Handfuls of Goldfish) as a full-round action. While a creature has a handful of goldfish, they feel compelled to eat them. They must make a Will Save, equal to 10+ the Goldfish Dealer’s level (in Goldfish Dealer) in order to not immediately eat the goldfish. It takes a Will Save of 10 higher than the previous in order to drop or destroy the goldfish.

Colored Goldfish: Starting at 2nd level, a Goldfish Dealer becomes adept at infusing abilities into his goldfish. Every even level he can choose to unlock a new kind of goldfish, or to upgrade his existing ones (as shown in table: colored goldfish). He can craft 1 bag of goldfish with effects at a time. For example, while he cannot craft a 25/25 bag of red/green goldfish, he can craft two bags of goldfish and then mix them to whatever ratio he wishes. Similarly, he can only put one disease into a bag during the crafting of green goldfish.

Easy Crafting (Ex): Starting at level 3, the Goldfish Dealer becomes extremely adept at crafting goldfish. The goldfish dealer gets a +3 bonus on Craft (Goldfish) checks. Additionally, when crafting a bag of goldfish, the goldfish dealer uses days instead of weeks.

Promotional Pitch (Sp): Starting at level 5, once per day you may make a pitch to somebody convincing them to do something in the hopes of getting a Goldfish. This functions as the spell Suggestion with a caster level of your level. You may do this one additional time per day every other level.

Fish License (Ex): Starting at level 20 you may get a fish license for one of your goldfish. The Goldfish must be named Eric. A Goldfish with a license is legally recognized as a powerful noble by any official. If the Goldfish is destroyed or otherwise lost you may get a new fish license for one of your fish after a period of one week.


Colored Goldfish

Color	Effect	Bonus	Craft DC
Purple	Gives eater +1 to Bluff, Diplomacy, and Gather Information, 1 round/goldfish	Bonus increases +1	20
Red	Sets eater on fire for 1d6 damage, 2 rounds/goldfish	+1d6 fire damage	25
Green	Gives any disease, as per the Contagion spell, caster level equal to your class level.	Save DC +1	30
Orange	Gives +1 to damage rolls and all saves for 1 round/goldfish	Bonus increases +1	40
Gold	A real fish. The eater must make a DC 20 Will save or be frightened for one round.	Save DC +1	- (catch it)

Goldfish Consumption and Handful Size

Size	Goldfish Consumption/Round	Handful Size
Fine	1/10	1
Diminutive	1/5	1
Tiny	1	2
Small	2	6
Medium	6	12
Large	12	50
Huge	50	250
Gargantuan	250	1000
Colossal	1000+	4000+

[Quiddle]

Its funny, I just finished reading through your class. I glanced down at my keyboard thinking about what to say and Lo and behold just to my right sits an empty bag of goldfish. What are the chances!?

Anyway nice joke class, though lvls 4-19 are pretty much the same... and some of the wording could be made a little clearer. I loled.

[Debihuman]

Cute.

Shouldn't Craft (goldfish) be on the class skill list? Also, if they have to catch a fish (see colored goldfish, gold), Survival should be class skill. I think the DC to craft a bag of goldfish is much too high. DC 20 at first level? Srsly?

Hows long does it take to craft a bag of goldfish? That should be noted under Goldfish ability.

See craft skill: Normally a craft check represents a week's work AND you have to pay one-third of the item's price for the cost of the raw materials.

Crafting a single bag of goldfish costs 1 gp. See crafting skill.

• Find the item’s price. 3 gp.
• Find the DC. DC 20
• Pay one-third of the item’s price for the cost of raw materials. 1 gp
• Make an appropriate Craft check representing one week’s work. If the check succeeds, multiply your check result by the DC. If the result × the DC equals the price of the item in sp, then you have completed the item. (If the result × the DC equals double or triple the price of the item in silver pieces, then you’ve completed the task in one-half or one-third of the time. Other multiples of the DC reduce the time in the same manner.) If the result × the DC doesn’t equal the price, then it represents the progress you’ve made this week. Record the result and make a new Craft check for the next week. Each week, you make more progress until your total reaches the price of the item in silver pieces.

Colored Goldfish needs to be worded a bit better and you have to explain the chart better. What is the bonus to?

Love the Monty Python reference!

Debby

[1pwny]

So, some clarification:

• Goldfish aren't actually in D&D. Thus, I invented them and Craft (Goldfish)
• Goldfish can be crafted just like any other item. It is the exact same process.
• Really, a Goldfish dealer wouldn't be that good at catching real goldfish. So they should take the penalty to catching Gold-Colored Fish.

So, this is how the Colored Goldfish work. Every even level, you can either unlock a new color or improve one you have. Each of the bonuses describe a bonus you can choose to give that color of goldfish. Example:

• Jimmy unlocks Red goldfish at level 2
• Jimmy upgrades them at level 4. The Red goldfish now deal 2d6 fire damage/round.
• Jimmy ignores all other colors and put his remaining 8 points into Red. Now his Red goldfish deal 9d6 damage/round.