Support the GITP forums on Patreon
Help support GITP's forums (and ongoing server maintenance) via Patreon
Page 1 of 10 12345678910 LastLast
Results 1 to 30 of 295
  1. - Top - End - #1
    Orc in the Playground
     
    DruidGuy

    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Gender
    Male

    Default Caring for infants with an all-male party?

    Last night our party ended up rescuing a baby who was intended to be sacrificed. Unfortunately, we have no baby formula, our entire party is male, and my druid cannot summon a cow. What is the best way to get some food to this baby? There are no stores in sight, and we don't know when we will next meet up with civilization.

    Please help me. I've grown quite attached to the little bugger.
    I am a Curio Munchkin. No ordinary Chargebarians or Dragonwrought Kobolds for me. It's gotta be a specially bred Thri-kreen supersoldier that escaped the torturous experiments with nothing but luck and two awesome templates!
    Homebrew Projects

    Why GiantIP is not babyproof

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Snowbluff's Avatar

    Join Date
    Sep 2011

    Default Re: Caring for infants with an all-male party?

    Cast good berry, squeeze the berries for juice?

    A ring of sustenance would work.

    For posterity, most humanoid females don't lactate all the time. Having one wouldn't really help.
    Last edited by Snowbluff; 2014-02-10 at 12:58 PM.
    Avatar of Rudisplork Avatar of PC-dom and Slayer of the Internet. Extended sig
    GitP Regulars as: Vestiges Spells Weapons Races Deities Feats Soulmelds/Veils
    Quote Originally Posted by Darrin View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Snowbluff View Post
    All gaming systems should be terribly flawed and exploitable if you want everyone to be happy with them. This allows for a wide variety of power levels for games for different levels of players.
    I dub this the Snowbluff Axiom.

  3. - Top - End - #3
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    Flickerdart's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    NYC
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Caring for infants with an all-male party?

    Polymorph the baby into something with teeth, then feed it before the effect expires. Alternatively, Create Food and Water.
    Last edited by Flickerdart; 2014-02-10 at 12:59 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Inevitability View Post
    Greater
    \ˈgrā-tər \
    comparative adjective
    1. Describing basically the exact same monster but with twice the RHD.
    Quote Originally Posted by Artanis View Post
    I'm going to be honest, "the Welsh became a Great Power and conquered Germany" is almost exactly the opposite of the explanation I was expecting

  4. - Top - End - #4
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Knaight's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2008

    Default Re: Caring for infants with an all-male party?

    Quote Originally Posted by Flickerdart View Post
    Polymorph the baby into something with teeth, then feed it before the effect expires. Alternatively, Create Food and Water.
    Create Food and Water seems pretty solid in general. Assuming a 5th level cleric (lowest level to cast the spell) it creates bland and nutritious food for 15 people. Given that infants usually get to eat bland food anyways, and eat less than adults, this could easily be a month worth of food. It does take a daily Purify Food and Drink to keep it good, but that's a level 0 spell anyways.
    I would really like to see a game made by Obryn, Kurald Galain, and Knaight from these forums.

    I'm not joking one bit. I would buy the hell out of that.
    -- ChubbyRain

    Current Design Project: Legacy, a game of masters and apprentices for two players and a GM.

  5. - Top - End - #5
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Caring for infants with an all-male party?

    Quote Originally Posted by CrazyYanmega View Post
    Last night our party ended up rescuing a baby who was intended to be sacrificed. Unfortunately, we have no baby formula, our entire party is male, and my druid cannot summon a cow. What is the best way to get some food to this baby? There are no stores in sight, and we don't know when we will next meet up with civilization.
    You don't mention an age so I'll guess this is no newborn? Maybe 3 to 6 months old?

    Even if it is a newborn your party could fortify water with berry juices or other plant matter. And if there is any lactating mammal around that will keep the kid alive; it doesn't have to be milk from a cow. And that depends on the time of year.

    Infants as young as 2 months can be fed a watery cereal mixture (flour and water) in a pinch. Not the best thing for the infant but will keep it alive.

  6. - Top - End - #6
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    NecromancerGuy

    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Jorgenfist
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Caring for infants with an all-male party?

    How old of a baby? If you can rig up a wossname(nipple-bottle-feedy-thing), create food and water's nutritive sludge(or maybe I'm thinking of that one spoon, but it seems like you can create simple porridge or even broth or something that starts off as basically liquid nutrients with the spell) mixed with enough water should approximate formula and then use prestidigitation to make it taste like whatever species lactation your spellcaster knows how to approximate.

    Alternatively, if it's old enough you can probably just dilute the nutritive sludge and spoon it to them. Or do that thing where you turn them into something that can eat.

    Or you can smack the DM for giving you a baby and trying to make you watch it starve. Granted, it's probably a DEMON BABY, so feeding it blood is probably perfectly fine.
    Last edited by Coidzor; 2014-02-10 at 01:19 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Keld Denar View Post
    +3 Girlfriend is totally unoptimized. You are better off with a +1 Keen Witty girlfriend and then appling Greater Magic Make-up to increase her enhancement bonus.
    Homebrew
    To Do: Reboot and finish Riptide

  7. - Top - End - #7
    Orc in the Playground
     
    AssassinGuy

    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    Europe, Germany, Berlin.
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Caring for infants with an all-male party?

    Goodberries seem the easiest way. Since they're equal to "a normal meal for a Medium creature" in nutrition, there shouldn't be any problems with nourishment.
    And besides, they're berries - even a baby can swallow them, and as soft as berries usually are, chewing them won't be an issue.
    This is sarcasm, this is nitpicking.

  8. - Top - End - #8
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    mephnick's Avatar

    Join Date
    Dec 2012

    Default Re: Caring for infants with an all-male party?

    Yeah, how old is it. My niece was eating solid food (in very small pieces) at like 5 months.

  9. - Top - End - #9
    Troll in the Playground
     
    (Un)Inspired's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Caring for infants with an all-male party?

    Can't some men lactate? Have your DM roll to see if any of you can produce enough breast milk to suckle the unfortunate lad.
    Last edited by (Un)Inspired; 2014-02-12 at 06:56 PM.
    amazing avatar of my favorite character, Gheera, by Pesimismrocks

  10. - Top - End - #10
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    mephnick's Avatar

    Join Date
    Dec 2012

    Default Re: Caring for infants with an all-male party?

    Also, way to strengthen the gender-normative stereotype that men cannot be caretakers of infants.

  11. - Top - End - #11
    Banned
     
    Rubik's Avatar

    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Caring for infants with an all-male party?

    Quote Originally Posted by (Un)Inspired View Post
    Can't some men lactate? Have your DM roll to see if any if you can produce enough breast milk to suckle the unfortunate lad.
    http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BodyHorror

  12. - Top - End - #12
    Troll in the Playground
     
    (Un)Inspired's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Caring for infants with an all-male party?

    Hahaha I thought you'd like my idea.

    Still it could work.
    Last edited by (Un)Inspired; 2014-02-10 at 01:44 PM.
    amazing avatar of my favorite character, Gheera, by Pesimismrocks

  13. - Top - End - #13
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Lord Vukodlak's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2007

    Default Re: Caring for infants with an all-male party?

    Goodberries seems like the best option

    A ring of sustenance would work.
    No it wouldn't aside from taking a week to work the kid might pull the ring off and ironically swallow it.
    Nale is no more, he has ceased to be, his hit points have dropped to negative ten, all he was is now dust in the wind, he is not Daniel Jackson dead, he is not Kenny dead, he is final dead, he will not pass through death's revolving door, his fate will not be undone because the executives renewed his show for another season. His time had run out, his string of fate has been cut, the blood on the knife has been wiped. He is an Ex-Nale! Now can we please resume watching the Order save the world.

  14. - Top - End - #14
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Hamste's Avatar

    Join Date
    Oct 2012

    Default Re: Caring for infants with an all-male party?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Vukodlak View Post
    Goodberries seems like the best option


    No it wouldn't aside from taking a week to work the kid might pull the ring off and ironically swallow it.
    Imagine a baby that sleep 2 hours a night...now imagine how much you will sleep a night.

  15. - Top - End - #15
    Archmage in the Playground Moderator
     
    truemane's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Grognardia
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Caring for infants with an all-male party?

    You need a wet-nurse!

    It's perfectly natural, and perfectly normal. You find yourself a civilization centre of some kind and you find a woman who's lactating, and you ask (pay/whatever) her to nurse the kid for you. Happened all the time in the good ole days. Still does in lots of places.

    If you don't like that option, I'd suggest using some manner of summoning spell to summon a wet nurse. For some reason, I find that option mildly disturbing, but that's probably just me.

    But wet-nurse. Get one.
    Adventures in the Borderlands [5E] - IC-Ch.0 / OC
    A Concerto of Death [5E] - IC / OC / Awreen

    Tarot-Mage-atar by Cuthalion, may his pixels never die.

  16. - Top - End - #16
    Banned
     
    Rubik's Avatar

    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Caring for infants with an all-male party?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Vukodlak View Post
    No it wouldn't aside from taking a week to work the kid might pull the ring off and ironically swallow it.
    Make it a cursed ring so it can't be removed? In the intervening week, try feeding the babe them thar goodberries. Maybe boiled down with some oats into a nutritious gruel. Just make sure it's no more than lukewarm before you spoon feed it to him.

    Quote Originally Posted by Hamste View Post
    Imagine a baby that sleep 2 hours a night...now imagine how much you will sleep a night.
    Oh dear gods. You're right!

    I suppose it could work if your party has a warforged or necropolitan, though. Hollow out his innards and turn him into an extradimensional playpen, maybe?
    Last edited by Rubik; 2014-02-10 at 01:57 PM.

  17. - Top - End - #17
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Secret Lair on Sol c
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Caring for infants with an all-male party?

    its only a question of puree'ing stuff into mash ... kids (no matter if its humans or animals or, i'd except, fantasy races) can eat the same as parents would if its prepared properly into something easy enough for them to eat

  18. - Top - End - #18
    Banned
     
    Rubik's Avatar

    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Caring for infants with an all-male party?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sian View Post
    its only a question of puree'ing stuff into mash ... kids (no matter if its humans or animals or, i'd except, fantasy races) can eat the same as parents would if its prepared properly into something easy enough for them to eat
    There are definite exceptions. Babies have extremely sensitive digestive tracts, which means no spicy stuff, and they're nowhere near as efficient or powerful (as they're limited on things like stomach acid production), so the food needs to be easily digestible and easily absorbable. The general theory is sound, but there's a lot that an adult can process just fine that small children can't.
    Last edited by Rubik; 2014-02-10 at 02:02 PM.

  19. - Top - End - #19
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Keledrath's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    GMT -5
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Caring for infants with an all-male party?

    This thread has a certain cruel beauty.

    Are there any druids, rangers, paladins, or, in a real pinch, wizards or sorcerers? Get the familiar, animal companion, or special mount pregnant (a lot of animals have much shorter gestation periods than humans), and have it nurse the kid.

    Or use a summoning spell and grab yourself a milk cow. I'd say that's SM/SNA 2 at the highest.

    Wait...SM to get a Celestial or Fiendish Cow, then open a nursery where parents bring the kid to nurse from a Celestial or Fiendish cow. You have just recreated the Chao Garden from Sonic Adventure 2.
    I follow a general rule: better to ask and be told no than not to ask at all.

    Shadeblight by KennyPyro

  20. - Top - End - #20
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Alent's Avatar

    Join Date
    Sep 2013

    Default Re: Caring for infants with an all-male party?

    Quote Originally Posted by CrazyYanmega View Post
    Last night our party ended up rescuing a baby who was intended to be sacrificed. Unfortunately, we have no baby formula, our entire party is male, and my druid cannot summon a cow. What is the best way to get some food to this baby? There are no stores in sight, and we don't know when we will next meet up with civilization.

    Please help me. I've grown quite attached to the little bugger.
    Summon Nature's Ally 1 summons wolves.

    It was good enough for Romulus and Remus.

  21. - Top - End - #21
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    BlueKnightGuy

    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    St. Louis, MO
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Caring for infants with an all-male party?

    Gonna go ahead and put down another vote for goodberry. Crushed up and made into a juice should take care of things for the time being, until you can get someplace to find someone to take care of the baby for you.

    The lack of sleep may be a big concern as far as travelling goes, as would random crying if for some reason you have to go dungeon delving while still taking care of the kid.
    Check out my Campaign World, Hiltmarch
    http://www.obsidianportal.com/campai...ikis/main-page

    Quote Originally Posted by Shining Wrath View Post
    Somewhere, Conan the Barbarian refuses to weep, and instead curses Crom for permitting WotC to botch his class so badly.

  22. - Top - End - #22
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    NecromancerGuy

    Join Date
    Nov 2012

    Default Re: Caring for infants with an all-male party?

    Quote Originally Posted by Norren View Post
    Summon Nature's Ally 1 summons wolves.

    It was good enough for Romulus and Remus.
    I approve of this solution.
    Quote Originally Posted by JusticeZero View Post
    i'm not going to act like a complete idiot and cripple myself, either, just so that YOU can feel like you are awesomely powerful playing your crossbow barbarian or whatever.

  23. - Top - End - #23
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Telonius's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Wandering in Harrekh
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Caring for infants with an all-male party?

    Don't worry about it until you reach civilization. Starvation only does nonlethal damage, anyway.
    Last edited by Telonius; 2014-02-10 at 02:17 PM.

  24. - Top - End - #24
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Sith_Happens's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Dromund Kaas
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Caring for infants with an all-male party?

    Quote Originally Posted by (Un)Inspired View Post
    Can't some men lactate?
    IIRC most can, the prepwork just takes too long to be useful in this case.
    Revan avatar by kaptainkrutch.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cirrylius View Post
    That's how wizards beta test their new animals. If it survives Australia, it's a go. Which in hindsight explains a LOT about Australia.

  25. - Top - End - #25
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    Sweden
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Caring for infants with an all-male party?

    I must say that Dungeons and Dragons: Three Men and a Baby Edition is pretty funny.
    Good on you, OP. Mash those goodberries.

  26. - Top - End - #26
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Lord Vukodlak's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2007

    Default Re: Caring for infants with an all-male party?

    Quote Originally Posted by Rubik View Post
    Make it a cursed ring so it can't be removed?
    To make that kind of custom magic item they'd need to reach civilization so they could buy the raw materials at which point they can find drop the infant off at a temple or something.
    Nale is no more, he has ceased to be, his hit points have dropped to negative ten, all he was is now dust in the wind, he is not Daniel Jackson dead, he is not Kenny dead, he is final dead, he will not pass through death's revolving door, his fate will not be undone because the executives renewed his show for another season. His time had run out, his string of fate has been cut, the blood on the knife has been wiped. He is an Ex-Nale! Now can we please resume watching the Order save the world.

  27. - Top - End - #27
    Banned
     
    Rubik's Avatar

    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Caring for infants with an all-male party?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Vukodlak View Post
    To make that kind of custom magic item they'd need to reach civilization so they could buy the raw materials at which point they can find drop the infant off at a temple or something.
    Well, if they're of a level to do so, Bestow Curse could potentially force the baby to be unable to pry the ring off his hand.

  28. - Top - End - #28
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    NecromancerGuy

    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Jorgenfist
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Caring for infants with an all-male party?

    Quote Originally Posted by Rubik View Post
    Well, if they're of a level to do so, Bestow Curse could potentially force the baby to be unable to pry the ring off his hand.
    Or turn the baby into a... child? teenager? toddler?

    Granted, this may be a very, very bad idea...
    Last edited by Coidzor; 2014-02-10 at 02:54 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Keld Denar View Post
    +3 Girlfriend is totally unoptimized. You are better off with a +1 Keen Witty girlfriend and then appling Greater Magic Make-up to increase her enhancement bonus.
    Homebrew
    To Do: Reboot and finish Riptide

  29. - Top - End - #29
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Feb 2013

    Default Re: Caring for infants with an all-male party?

    Quote Originally Posted by Rubik View Post
    Well, if they're of a level to do so, Bestow Curse could potentially force the baby to be unable to pry the ring off his hand.
    Generally, any plan that involves "curse the baby" should properly be reconsidered.
    A million thanks to Crimmy for the awesome avatar!

  30. - Top - End - #30
    Banned
     
    Rubik's Avatar

    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Caring for infants with an all-male party?

    Quote Originally Posted by Aolbain View Post
    Generally, any plan that involves "curse the baby" should properly be reconsidered.
    Babies are pretty well cursed as it is. I doubt it'll get much worse than that.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •