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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Bugbear in the Playground
    stupnick's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2007

    Default Need a helping hand

    So i am starting a new game and need to come up with a background for my character. the character is starting at 6th level 50% of the way to 7th. i have aimed for Ranger3, Fighter2, Deepwarden1.

    here is what i have come up with so far, please read and comment honestly. i know it needs work.

    The story started xx years ago, in Hillsafar Halls, in the Galena Peaks. Bofthic BattleHammer was born to a pair of loving parents. His father was one of the military generals for the clan, and was in charge of training. his son from a young age was always there, watching and mimicing. instead of playing games with the other kids he was off practicing what his father taught that day. he was a very quietand reserved for a child. every year learning the same thing over and over got him very good at it.

    when he was 31, still a teenager by dwarf standards, the halls of hillsafar had an invasion of sorts. they became under attack by a group of duegar working with Zhygi the Witch King. while the forces of the advancing duegar were held off and eventually pushed back, there were quite a few casualties. Bofthic's father was one of them. When they found his corpse it looked as if the duegar who killed him didn't just kill him, but played with him and tortured him.

    it was at this point the quiet and reserved dwarf, known as Bofthic, almost exploded. he completely lost it. all he could do was gather his belongings and leave, how could he look at, and deal with the people who didn't protect his father after all he had done for them.

    Bofthic went out and made himself a home in the mountains just south of darmshall, and lived there alone for over 10 years, surviving on the lands, occassionally going into darmshall to do some trading and restock what he can. he hid out and survived the rise and fall fo zhygi the witch king and the rebuilding of the area. it was maybe 12 years after he left Hillsafar Halls when he was confronted with a moral deleima. he was sleeping one day and heard a noise that didn't quite sound right. he woke ready to fight what was about to attack him and when he looked outside he saw a troop of orcs and goblins cornering a women and her child. they were both injured badly, but still on there feet and fighting them off the best they could. seeing this made memories of his father flash back into his mind and send him flying into battle to protect them. all his training he learned had paid off, he was able to dispatch the orcs and goblins with little harm to himself. by this point the two had almost but fallen unconsious. he spent the next few weeks nursing them back to health, and spent the time also training the child how to fight and protect himself if the time came.

    for the next few years he spent his years as an adoptive father for this child, teaching him the ways of the dwarven clan as well as all the training that his father had originally taught him. by this point he had almost all but moved into darmshall, and has been living there with his new "family". his new "son" had finally become of age to go out and explore the area on his own and adventure. for the first year or so he went with him, training and coaching him on what he was doing, they made a great pair. after that his "son" joined up with some new friends he made and continued that on his own, coming home and regaling the tale of his day to his mother and "father". until that one day that he never did come home. a few days later his friends came to his house to let his mother know that he had been killed by a troll that attacked them. she could see that they were still badly injured and just let them go with out many questions. it was at that she broke down crying and could not stop shaking, no matter what bofthic could do to help.

    it was at this point he realized what he had done to his own mother, and knew what he had to do. he spent a few months with the greiving mother to help her get through this and move on with her life, as best she could after losing a son. he then packed up his stuff and decided he needed to head back home.

    after almost 27 years of being gone, he had showed back up, much to the suprise of his mother and the rest of his family. upon arriving back to Hillsafar Halls he had changed quite a bit. he was outspoken, and stood up for the injustice he saw. he also was very protective over those he cared about and considered close. he spent a few months coming to terms with what happened with his family, and friends, when he was asked by one of the elders to join the ranks of the protectors of the tunnels. upon hearing this, his mother went over to the fireplace and pulled down her fathers old warhammers she had mounted there, and gave them to him..

    he spent the next few months training to be a tunnel protecter. he obviously rose above all the rest rather quickly with his childhood training and also his self training out in the wild. he spent a few more months learning the tunnels and tricks of the trade on the job, before given his own troop to lead. he had become one of the few who rose to the ranks of the DeepWarden. with this honor he had made his family proud, and believed he made his dad proud finally.

    his only concern was that the halls haven't been attacked and the duegar have actually pulled back and out of the area. he always wondered where they went and who they were attacking, that he wasn't there to protect. his wandering spirit got the better of him and he realized he could do more good out there, then in here. and so he packed his things up one moree time to head out. before leaving he went to return the warhammers back to his mother to remount above the fireplace. much to his dismay she refused to accept them back and actually went and pulled a chest out from under her bed. as he opened the chest he was thrown into tears, there was a letter from his father and his fathers breastplate. both of them sat there crying in silence for over an hour. that evening they had one last dinner together and Bofthic set out for Bloodstone Village.

    what i guess i need is help fleshing it out. the details of what happened to him during the period that he wigged out. as well as just some over all reading and revising..

    any and all help or comments appreciated

    Thank you in advance
    Last edited by stupnick; 2007-01-30 at 02:04 PM. Reason: added in more in the middle

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Bugbear in the Playground
    stupnick's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2007

    Default Re: Need a helping hand

    added 4 paragraphs in the middle

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