A Monster for Every Season: Summer 2
You can get A Monster for Every Season: Summer 2 now at Gumroad
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 30 of 35
  1. - Top - End - #1
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    PurityIcekiller's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Where I want to be
    Gender
    Male

    Default Things I'm Not Allowed To Do In An RPG II: Why No One GMs For Me Any More

    Previous thread here.

    Basically, in this thread, you add to the ever-growing list of things we're not allowed to do in role-playing games. Now, let's pick up where we left off last time, shall we?

    3262: No matter how high my Move Silently skill is, I cannot successfully sneak while singing at the top of my lungs.
    3263: Animal companions, familiars and paladin mounts are not emergency rations.
    3264: I may not name my noble steed "/dev/horse".
    Last edited by PurityIcekiller; 2014-05-18 at 11:36 PM.
    When in doubt, use cute little dragons.

    Game and roleplaying stuff.

    The data is 1's and 0's. Life is the jazz. (Previous avatars)

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    BlueKnightGuy

    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Location
    Dixie
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Things I'm Not Allowed To Do In An RPG II: Why No One GMs For Me Any More

    3265: As GM, I may not make my players (who I know watch Doctor Who) think the perfectly normal statue of an angel is a Weeping Angel

    That game ended with an SUV being driven over said statue. Just in case.
    I'm playing Ironsworn, an RPG that you can run solo - and I'm putting the campaign up on GitP!

    Most recent update: Chapter 6: Devastation

    -----

    A worldbuilding project, still work in progress: Reign of the Corven

    Most recent update: another look at magic traditions!

  3. - Top - End - #3
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    ElfWarriorGuy

    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Things I'm Not Allowed To Do In An RPG II: Why No One GMs For Me Any More

    3266: I'm not allowed to invent any kind of science or mathematics. Period.
    3266a: Especially not to do with the DM's homebrew mathematics.
    3266a Errata: This also applies when I'm the DM.
    Xykon's not Evil. He just get bored really easily. And he doesn't have constructive hobbies.
    Spoiler: Gen/Degen
    Show
    Generation 4
    The first time you see this in a signature, put it in your signature and add one.
    Degeneration 92
    The first time you see this, copy it into your signature and subtract one.
    Spoiler: Super Secret Awesome Point Counter
    Show

    Iceseer - 3



    HUGS FOR ALL!
    Spoiler: I be an awesome pokemon
    Show


    Spoiler: Le Quotes on le topic of Me
    Show

    Quote Originally Posted by Socksy View Post
    You're a perfect person.
    Isn't Socksy adorabibbles?

  4. - Top - End - #4
    Ettin in the Playground
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    City of Culture TM
    Gender
    Intersex

    Default Re: Things I'm Not Allowed To Do In An RPG II: Why No One GMs For Me Any More

    3267: As a GM I am not allowed to have The Spanish Inquisition appear whenever they are mentioned.
    Quotes
    Spoiler
    Show

    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Sagara
    It's not Yggdrasil or Helheim you're facing, it's the cold rule that says the world demands sacrifice in exchange of hope. Destroy that rule and change the world.
    Quote Originally Posted by Fox Mulder
    I did not lie, I wilfully participated in a campaign of misinformation

    Avatar by Kaariane.

    Murdered by Furthur Maths.

  5. - Top - End - #5
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    GnomeWizardGuy

    Join Date
    Mar 2010

    Default Re: Things I'm Not Allowed To Do In An RPG II: Why No One GMs For Me Any More

    3268:The wise alaundo was a mute illiterate.

    3268a:The wise alaundo never existed

  6. - Top - End - #6
    Banned
     
    Jormengand's Avatar

    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    In the Playground, duh.

    Default Re: Things I'm Not Allowed To Do In An RPG II: Why No One GMs For Me Any More

    3269: I don't care if it's rules-legal, I am no longer allowed to have an ork who quad-wields two-handed flamers while riding on a bike with every item ever to come to pass in an adamantine carry case on the back.

  7. - Top - End - #7
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    ElfWarriorGuy

    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Things I'm Not Allowed To Do In An RPG II: Why No One GMs For Me Any More

    3270: No, my Gnomish Wizard cannot turn himself into an indestructible statue JUST to be a hammer for the Barbarian.
    Xykon's not Evil. He just get bored really easily. And he doesn't have constructive hobbies.
    Spoiler: Gen/Degen
    Show
    Generation 4
    The first time you see this in a signature, put it in your signature and add one.
    Degeneration 92
    The first time you see this, copy it into your signature and subtract one.
    Spoiler: Super Secret Awesome Point Counter
    Show

    Iceseer - 3



    HUGS FOR ALL!
    Spoiler: I be an awesome pokemon
    Show


    Spoiler: Le Quotes on le topic of Me
    Show

    Quote Originally Posted by Socksy View Post
    You're a perfect person.
    Isn't Socksy adorabibbles?

  8. - Top - End - #8
    Bugbear in the Playground
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Red Dragon Territory

    Default Re: Things I'm Not Allowed To Do In An RPG II: Why No One GMs For Me Any More

    Quote Originally Posted by PurityIcekiller View Post
    3264: I may not name my noble steed "/dev/horse".
    Nor may his name be anything to do with licking or raisins.
    Spoiler: Extended Signature
    Show

    Quote Originally Posted by Draconium View Post
    All things considered, the guy whose character attacked a gazebo may have actually had a point...
    Quote Originally Posted by Anlashok View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by sideswipe View Post
    ban the problem spells and the problem classes. not the whole book.
    So.. Keep the bard?
    Quote Originally Posted by Story View Post
    The only thing worse than a Beholder with an anti-magic cone is a Beholder without the anti-magic cone.
    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    Baaa, I can think! Baaa, I can't see in the dark!

  9. - Top - End - #9
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    NinjaGuy

    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Location
    earth

    Default Re: Things I'm Not Allowed To Do In An RPG II: Why No One GMs For Me Any More

    3271.) no dominating paladins and making them fall
    Am A:


    Chaotic Neutral Human Ranger/Wizard (1st/1st Level)



    Ability Scores:
    Strength- 15
    Dexterity- 13
    Constitution- 14
    Intelligence- 15
    Wisdom- 15
    Charisma- 12


  10. - Top - End - #10
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Atreyu the Masked LLama's Avatar

    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    JC, TN or Camelot.
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Things I'm Not Allowed To Do In An RPG II: Why No One GMs For Me Any More

    3272) I am no longer allowed to cast "Grease" to give the mid-wife a bonus to her heal checks. The science seems sound to me, I don't know why the GM nixed it.
    inner circle Legionary of Resiliance
    I love my Ceikatars!
    Spoiler
    Show


    Not here as much. I am out Roman around.

  11. - Top - End - #11
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    GuesssWho's Avatar

    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Far Realm
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Things I'm Not Allowed To Do In An RPG II: Why No One GMs For Me Any More

    3273: Our CoC game is not set at Cold Comfort Farm.
    3274: I may not tristalt monster classes.
    Cthulhu fhtagn R'lyeh!
    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd-o-rama View Post
    There were other programs that were deleted, but they either go quietly or spend the rest of their existence sitting around babbling about causality. Smith's different. He gets deleted and he's like "Hell no, I'm staying. And I'll steal your kernel privileges and spam copies of myself onto every last thing on the hard disk. How d'you like that?"
    Degeneration 91
    Homebrew:
    Anglermaids

    Wendigo Race
    -Complicated Wendigo Race
    False Hydra (Goblin Punch)

  12. - Top - End - #12
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    ElfWarriorGuy

    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Things I'm Not Allowed To Do In An RPG II: Why No One GMs For Me Any More

    3275: I am no longer allowed to kidnap monsters and enslave them.
    3275a: Especially not when I'm lawful good.
    3275b: No, not even when I'm chaotic evil, either.
    3275c: I, as a player, grant my character immunity to charm and compulsion effects that would cause my character to do such things.
    3276: I am no longer allowed to cast suggestion on evil NPC wizards.
    Xykon's not Evil. He just get bored really easily. And he doesn't have constructive hobbies.
    Spoiler: Gen/Degen
    Show
    Generation 4
    The first time you see this in a signature, put it in your signature and add one.
    Degeneration 92
    The first time you see this, copy it into your signature and subtract one.
    Spoiler: Super Secret Awesome Point Counter
    Show

    Iceseer - 3



    HUGS FOR ALL!
    Spoiler: I be an awesome pokemon
    Show


    Spoiler: Le Quotes on le topic of Me
    Show

    Quote Originally Posted by Socksy View Post
    You're a perfect person.
    Isn't Socksy adorabibbles?

  13. - Top - End - #13
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    The last place you look
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Things I'm Not Allowed To Do In An RPG II: Why No One GMs For Me Any More

    3277. As a DM, I may not advance a mimic to Huge size and have it be shaped like a gazebo.
    Avatar by Venetian Mask. It's of an NPC from a campaign I may yet run (possibly in PbP) who became a favorite of mine while planning.

    Quote Originally Posted by Razanir View Post
    Everyone knows frying pans are actually weapons that people repurpose for cooking
    I am a 10/14/11/15/12/14 LG Clr 2

  14. - Top - End - #14
    Retired Mod in the Playground Retired Moderator
     
    DrowGirl

    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Leeds, UK
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Things I'm Not Allowed To Do In An RPG II: Why No One GMs For Me Any More

    3278. I am no longer allowed fire.
    3278a. I am not allowed to be given fire.
    3278b. How the hell did she get fire?
    3278c. Oh god everything is on fire.


    3278. Castaras is not allowed anything dangerous and must be kept in a straitjacket at all times.
    "I'm just going on motive and opportunity here and the fact that if the earth got swallowed by a black hole, I'd look suspiciously in your direction first."
    ~ Timberwolf

    "I blame Castaras. You know... In general."
    ~ KuReshtin

    "Castaras - An absolutely adorable facade that hides a truly ruthless streak."
    ~ The Succubus

  15. - Top - End - #15
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Mercenary Pen's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    The Battlefield
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Things I'm Not Allowed To Do In An RPG II: Why No One GMs For Me Any More

    Quote Originally Posted by Castaras View Post
    3278. I am no longer allowed fire.
    3278a. I am not allowed to be given fire.
    3278b. How the hell did she get fire?
    3278c. Oh god everything is on fire.


    3278. Castaras is not allowed anything dangerous and must be kept in a straitjacket at all times.
    3278a (revised): Looking at other players in a funny way whilst wearing a straitjacket at the gaming table is forbidden.

    3279: There are no psionic thought police. Any attempts to prove otherwise will result in epic level amnesia.
    Part of YugiohITP
    Avatar by Smuchmuch

    Warning: This post may contain traces of nuts, madness and/or sarcasm, you have been warned.

  16. - Top - End - #16
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    BlueKnightGuy

    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Location
    Dixie
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Things I'm Not Allowed To Do In An RPG II: Why No One GMs For Me Any More

    3280: I am allowed to plant a bug on an agent of a government shadow organization, but the GM is not responsible for the consequences.
    I'm playing Ironsworn, an RPG that you can run solo - and I'm putting the campaign up on GitP!

    Most recent update: Chapter 6: Devastation

    -----

    A worldbuilding project, still work in progress: Reign of the Corven

    Most recent update: another look at magic traditions!

  17. - Top - End - #17
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    ElfWarriorGuy

    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Things I'm Not Allowed To Do In An RPG II: Why No One GMs For Me Any More

    3281: While I am allowed to PLAY as a Clown Barbarian, I am NOT allowed to ROLEPLAY said character.
    Edit: 3281b: "OH GOD NO NOT A MIME NO PLEASE NO NOT A FREAKING MIME." Paraphrased quote from the DM. I am no longer allowed to describe their non-combat actions.

    Edit: 3281: I am no longer allowed to play as any kind of clown full stop no more clowns please.
    Last edited by Eternis; 2014-07-17 at 03:28 AM.
    Xykon's not Evil. He just get bored really easily. And he doesn't have constructive hobbies.
    Spoiler: Gen/Degen
    Show
    Generation 4
    The first time you see this in a signature, put it in your signature and add one.
    Degeneration 92
    The first time you see this, copy it into your signature and subtract one.
    Spoiler: Super Secret Awesome Point Counter
    Show

    Iceseer - 3



    HUGS FOR ALL!
    Spoiler: I be an awesome pokemon
    Show


    Spoiler: Le Quotes on le topic of Me
    Show

    Quote Originally Posted by Socksy View Post
    You're a perfect person.
    Isn't Socksy adorabibbles?

  18. - Top - End - #18
    Orc in the Playground
     
    GnomePirate

    Join Date
    Jul 2014

    Default Re: Things I'm Not Allowed To Do In An RPG II: Why No One GMs For Me Any More

    I am not allowed to get every aboleth graft ever.

  19. - Top - End - #19
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    GuesssWho's Avatar

    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Far Realm
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Things I'm Not Allowed To Do In An RPG II: Why No One GMs For Me Any More

    Quote Originally Posted by ... View Post
    I am not allowed to get every aboleth graft ever.
    3282b: Or every sithilar graft.
    3282c: Or any other sort of graft, for that matter.
    Cthulhu fhtagn R'lyeh!
    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd-o-rama View Post
    There were other programs that were deleted, but they either go quietly or spend the rest of their existence sitting around babbling about causality. Smith's different. He gets deleted and he's like "Hell no, I'm staying. And I'll steal your kernel privileges and spam copies of myself onto every last thing on the hard disk. How d'you like that?"
    Degeneration 91
    Homebrew:
    Anglermaids

    Wendigo Race
    -Complicated Wendigo Race
    False Hydra (Goblin Punch)

  20. - Top - End - #20
    Orc in the Playground
     
    GnomePirate

    Join Date
    Jul 2014

    Default Re: Things I'm Not Allowed To Do In An RPG II: Why No One GMs For Me Any More

    I am also not allowed to be a druid who is hated by animals. Where did I get that idea from, anyways?

  21. - Top - End - #21
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Kobold

    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Location
    The cookie jar
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Things I'm Not Allowed To Do In An RPG II: Why No One GMs For Me Any More

    3283: I am not allowed to sneak past light-sensitive creatures while carrying a lit lantern
    3284: I am not allowed to use gnomes as improvised throwing weapons
    3285: I am not allowed to use dispel magic to dispel a beholders anti-magic cone.
    3286: I can not cast fireball on every merchant I see and take their stuff
    3287: I can not actually accept the villains offer for ultimate power at the cost of my parties lives.
    3288: I can not become a vampiric werebear-wererat
    3289: I can not crawl into the dragons throat and make it drown in my piss (what can I say? I was desperate!)
    3290: I can not lodge the petrified body of my cleric in a purple worms throat
    3291: I can not be a halfling fighter with strength as my dump stat
    3292: I can not be a paladin who burns down houses for fun
    3293: I can not throw my fellow party members into a pit of acid and still loot the corpses
    PbP games:
    Spoiler
    Show
    The Seven Adventurers of Chamar: Running

    WW games:
    Spoiler
    Show
    Careless Investigation: Running/Recruiting

    Titles earned:
    Spoiler
    Show
    Follower of Lolth
    Cataloger of Silly Games
    Lolthdisciple
    The One Who Took The Cookies From The Cookie Jar

  22. - Top - End - #22
    Orc in the Playground
     
    GnomePirate

    Join Date
    Jul 2014

    Default Re: Things I'm Not Allowed To Do In An RPG II: Why No One GMs For Me Any More

    3294. I cannot walk down the other road when all the other party members are walking down the first one.

  23. - Top - End - #23
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    BlackDragon

    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Location
    Spooky Haunted House
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Things I'm Not Allowed To Do In An RPG II: Why No One GMs For Me Any More

    3294. im not allowed to be good because I suck at it.

    3295. no backstories involving amnesia, its to over-done.
    Sry, for any delays; its not my intarnet... its probobly thr fact I spend several minuts spell checing miself.

    also, trilobites are awesome, no questions asked.

    Sorcerer in the playground, horror to bandits and wizards alike.

  24. - Top - End - #24
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    PurityIcekiller's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Where I want to be
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Things I'm Not Allowed To Do In An RPG II: Why No One GMs For Me Any More

    3297: If I'm the only person who can successfully roleplay a non-chaotic character, I probably shouldn't be the party rogue.
    3298: My animal companion may not be a miniature giant space hamster.
    When in doubt, use cute little dragons.

    Game and roleplaying stuff.

    The data is 1's and 0's. Life is the jazz. (Previous avatars)

  25. - Top - End - #25
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Chd's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2014

    Default Re: Things I'm Not Allowed To Do In An RPG II: Why No One GMs For Me Any More

    Here's a few from our group's games based around my cleric's attempt to raise funds to finance an expedition after a the DMPC rogue got wasted and blew the party's coffers on courtesans and magic beans that turned out to be worthless.

    3299: I cannot use "Bless Water" on my bladder so I can piss 'Holy Urine'. I must relieve myself into a chamber-pot or bottle first.
    3300: I cannot sell bottles of Holy Urine as a 'Undead/Outsider-bane™" to Commoners, especially if
    3301: The Cleric's 'Undead/Outsider-bane™" cannot be used as a poison coating for weapons against the undead.
    3302: The Cleric, despite being a cleric of Vengence and Sun, cannot execute the DMPC, thereby ****ing up the whole campaign.
    3303: The Cleric cannot convert the Courtesans to their god, and then allow them to deliver vengeance against the DMPC sadists.
    3304: The Cleric cannot execute the Bean-seller, even if the bean seller knew the money was 'hot'.
    3305: The Cleric cannot convert the Courtesans to their god, and allow them to deliver vengeance against the Bean-seller, even if the bean seller knew the money was 'hot'.
    3306: "My Bladder" is not a suitable vessel for 'Create Water'.

  26. - Top - End - #26
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Devil

    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Location
    Location, Location

    Default Re: Things I'm Not Allowed To Do In An RPG II: Why No One GMs For Me Any More

    Quote Originally Posted by PurityIcekiller View Post
    3298: My animal companion may not be a miniature giant space hamster.
    Go for the eyes, Boo! Go for the eyes!
    A fundamental truth about existence: All is to be laughed at.

    Lawful Evil with Chaotic Good tendencies. Have fun figuring that out.

    How to deal with Slowbro in Gen 1:
    1. Mewtwo
    2. there is no #2.

    Quote Originally Posted by Man_Over_Game View Post
    Well, that makes you Dr. Robotnik. So...yeah?

  27. - Top - End - #27
    Bugbear in the Playground
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Quarantine
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Things I'm Not Allowed To Do In An RPG II: Why No One GMs For Me Any More

    3307. I cannot craft a magical sap with the 'Merciful' and 'Flaming' qualities.
    My Homebrew (Free to use, don't even bother asking. PM me if you do, though; I'd love to hear stories).

    Avatar done by me (It's Durkon redrawn as Salvador from Borderlands 2).



    Nod, get treat.

  28. - Top - End - #28
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    OldWizardGuy

    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Location
    Chicago
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Things I'm Not Allowed To Do In An RPG II: Why No One GMs For Me Any More

    3308: As a paladin, I am not allowed to take an apple off an oak tree, eat it, take a dump, and grow my own apple tree while my allies die from dire weasels.
    3309: I cannot use Mighty Cold Snap while in an underwater ship to create a giant floaty ice castle, then carve out passage ways in the castle by summoning fire elementals.

  29. - Top - End - #29
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Chd's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2014

    Default Re: Things I'm Not Allowed To Do In An RPG II: Why No One GMs For Me Any More

    3310: I'm not allowed to play a Half-Orc Bard named "Led Hendrix"...
    3311: I cannot use the 'Summon Instrument' Spell to summon a Great-Axe/Magic Guitar Combo weapon/instrument...
    3312: A pet rock is not an acceptable companion, nor does it have a unique 'stoned' debuff.
    3313: '2 for the height of 1' is not an acceptable reason to reduce the charges for Murdering Gnomes or Halflings.
    3314: A Changeling transforming into a noblewoman to infiltrate a Ball is fine; Proceeding to **** every noble in the ball is frowned upon...
    3315: A half-Elf bard is not 'asking for it' by wearing a midriff and cleavage exposing outfit... Even to the repressive culture of Orcs...
    3316: NEVER ask the Half-Elf Bard about 'Bard Camp' and her flute.
    3317: The performance of bard-songs based on Justin Bieber's hits are evil actions; The Paladin is permitted obligated to smite you for trying to perform these songs.
    3318: "Wish" and "Miracle" Spells are a privilege, not a right. As such, the DM vetoing any wish or miracle making Man-Bear-Pig the Monotheistic god stands.
    Need an Custom Order of the Stick Avatar? How about a Custom Standee for Offline Play? Feel free to hit me up, and we can see how we do.

  30. - Top - End - #30
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Prince Zahn's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    my fireball can reach you
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Things I'm Not Allowed To Do In An RPG II: Why No One GMs For Me Any More

    3319: I may not leave the dungeon in the middle of the bossfight to use the loo.
    3320: no amount of square feet of canvas is considered "contemporary art" just because I "painted it" with goblinoid entrails.
    3321: I may no longer make soup out of kuo-toa meat.
    3321a: I may NOT collectively refer to enemies in any aquatic campaign as "sushi", either.
    3322: I may not play a microscopic wizard.
    3323: If I play a system that supports Trinkets, Oddities, or similar eccentric objects, I am not allowed to use any of them to evangelize NPCs for my cause.
    Quote Originally Posted by The_Jette View Post
    If you write gibberish in common, even comprehend languages won't turn it into a sonnet.
    P.Z. - gamer; friend; royalty. 'Tis a pleasure.
    <<Cynthia the Witch by me. she's a nice gal, I promise!

    My player Resume, for potential DMs to read over.


    My Extended Signature

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •