A Monster for Every Season: Summer 2
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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Orc in the Playground
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    amused 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    1. Split the Party
    2. Roll a Paladin in a party consisted of 1/2 or more evil characters
    3. Prestidigitation
    4. Roll a Chaotic Evil Necromancer if you have a Paladin in the group
    5. http://www.marph.org/D&D/D&D%203.5%2...20Demigods.pdf
    6. Kill the main quest-giver
    7. Kill the local King
    8. Buy an army (You can find prices in the handbooks so its possible), and declare yourself king.
    9. Kill level 20 shop keepers in their sleep. Easy leveling.
    10. Kill your entire party.

    The forums is filled with a bunch of twisted, sick minded and insane people! If you are one of them, and even if you aren't please post your ideas!

    EDIT:
    THE GOAL HAS NOW BEEN REACHED!!!
    Last edited by Xalos; 2015-09-10 at 07:08 PM.
    "Meddle not in the affairs of dragons, for thou art crunchy and taste good with ketchup" - Wisest Wizard Ever

    I am the OP of the (now completed) thread 1001+ Ways to screw with your DM/Party

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    DwarfClericGuy

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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    11. Locate City bomb the place.

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    Buy a scroll with the necessary caster properties to produce the Locate City nuke at low levels - easily affordable by around fourth level or so, and if you have a cleric accomplice, you can use Guidance of the Avatar to ace the UMD check. Bonus points if you can also pop a Sphere of Invulnerability on yourself.

    I actually did this once, when my regular DM was out and the group's Special Star-bearer (to put it politely; nobody likes him) had gotten the DM to let him handle an RPing/housekeeping session for him. The Party Idiot hasn't DMed again; it's usually fallen to me. Mission accomplished.

  3. - Top - End - #3
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Umbranar's Avatar

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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    12. Play an Apostle of Peace - NO FIGHTING!

  4. - Top - End - #4
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    GreenSorcererElf

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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    13. carry all money in copper, sell all your valuable items, such as gems, paintings, etc. then exchange all your gold for copper, better if you have a bag of holding just to carry all your copper

    14. set everything on fire. everything

    15. whenever you meet a quest-giving NPC, kill them, then speak with dead, you get exp, loot, and a quest hook
    elemental avatar by kaariane

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  5. - Top - End - #5
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    WolfInSheepsClothing

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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    16.Send your LG party on a "traditional" quest. Keep perfect notes. Then read them their quest in novel form, showing what murder-hobos they really were. Tell them their souls are now owned by devils/demons/other.

  6. - Top - End - #6
    Pixie in the Playground
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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    17. Get a deck of many things.

  7. - Top - End - #7
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    BlackDragon

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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    18. Ask "Are you sure you want to do that?" randomly after decisions the party has made, whether or not they have any negative consequences.
    Quote Originally Posted by Grifter, character in game I'm GMing
    I was fine in Kingsfort until I met you guys. This looking for immortality thing is gonna get me killed!

  8. - Top - End - #8
    Orc in the Playground
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    amused Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    19. Befriend the final boss and join his legion
    20. Read the magic runes placed on your formerly kidnapped party member (I'm still mad at you for that Mordi)
    21. Did I hear someone say awaken elemental lords inside the capital?
    "Meddle not in the affairs of dragons, for thou art crunchy and taste good with ketchup" - Wisest Wizard Ever

    I am the OP of the (now completed) thread 1001+ Ways to screw with your DM/Party

  9. - Top - End - #9
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    GreenSorcererElf

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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    22. seven words: "guess what spell i prepared this morning"
    elemental avatar by kaariane

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  10. - Top - End - #10
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    ClericGuy

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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    23. Homebrew something they can't deal with. Yes, those are explosive proximity runes (claymore mines).

  11. - Top - End - #11
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    NecromancerGuy

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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    24. Fell Drain Fimbulwinter to give Negative Levels to everything within the Spell's diameter (2 miles/Caster Level, minimum 8th Level Spell) . . . . for 4 - 48 weeks.
    Last edited by Amphetryon; 2014-05-20 at 07:56 AM. Reason: math is hard
    Iron Chef in the Playground veteran since Round IV. Play as me!


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  12. - Top - End - #12
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    GreenSorcererElf

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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    25. create a single wight. in the middle of a large city
    elemental avatar by kaariane

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  13. - Top - End - #13
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    John Longarrow's Avatar

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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    26. Maximize your diplomacy.
    27. Give out girdles of masculinity/femininity as treasure.
    28. DON'T change any pregenerated module to make party appropriate encounters.

  14. - Top - End - #14
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    SamuraiGuy

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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    29. Play old-school chaotic neutral, where you decide EVERYTHING by rolling dice
    30. Play a character dedicated to getting laid 7x24, at a table where there are no teen-aged boys to be amused
    31. Thief. Steal from the other PCs. When they catch you, kill them by UMD something you bought with their loot. Insist you are "role-playing"
    32. Forget your dice. Borrow from others. Don't return them after the session. Lose their dice.
    This ... is my signature finishing move!

    "It's never good when you make a fiend cringe" - MadGrady

    According to some online quiz, I'm a 6th level TN Wizard. They didn't give me full XP for all the monsters I've defeated while daydreaming.
    http://easydamus.com/character.html

    I am a Ranger Archetype: Gleaming Warden (thx to Ninja Prawn)

  15. - Top - End - #15
    Orc in the Playground
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    amused Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    33. Befriend a dragon.
    34. Fire, plane and simple
    35. Seduce the princess
    "Meddle not in the affairs of dragons, for thou art crunchy and taste good with ketchup" - Wisest Wizard Ever

    I am the OP of the (now completed) thread 1001+ Ways to screw with your DM/Party

  16. - Top - End - #16
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    NecromancerGuy

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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    36. Cast Love's Pain on the main antagonist.
    37. Get a wand of Shivering Touch and announce you're going dragon-hunting; turn the expected WBL into a joke.
    38. Salty cows.
    Iron Chef in the Playground veteran since Round IV. Play as me!


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  17. - Top - End - #17
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Necroticplague's Avatar

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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    3.5. Be a shapechanger. Never mention when you change forms until everyone has a differen mental image of the character and is confused.
    Avatar by TinyMushroom.

  18. - Top - End - #18
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Inevitability's Avatar

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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    Quote Originally Posted by Amphetryon View Post
    36. Cast Love's Pain on the main antagonist.
    C'mon, we can do better.

    40. Cast Love's Pain on everyone you come across.

    CE for the win.
    Have you had enough of unreasonably high LA's and unplayable monsters in 3.5? Then check out the LA-assignment thread! Don't hesitate to give feedback!

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  19. - Top - End - #19
    Orc in the Playground
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    amused Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    Quote Originally Posted by Dire_Stirge View Post
    C'mon, we can do better.

    40. Cast Love's Pain on everyone you come across.

    CE for the win.
    Is that the best you can do?

    41. Cast Love's Pain on everything you come across.... monsters, NPCs, PCs, enemies, etc....
    Last edited by Xalos; 2014-05-20 at 10:19 AM.
    "Meddle not in the affairs of dragons, for thou art crunchy and taste good with ketchup" - Wisest Wizard Ever

    I am the OP of the (now completed) thread 1001+ Ways to screw with your DM/Party

  20. - Top - End - #20
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Inevitability's Avatar

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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    That's what I meant to say. Sorry, my English isn't perfect.
    Have you had enough of unreasonably high LA's and unplayable monsters in 3.5? Then check out the LA-assignment thread! Don't hesitate to give feedback!

    Extended signature!

  21. - Top - End - #21
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Flumph

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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    42.a. Spike the punch with philters of love.
    42.b. Alternatively, replace healing potions with philters of love.
    Quote Originally Posted by doko239 View Post
    Or be a Bard Lich and tell people you're Keith Richards
    If I'm a monk using lettuce as an Improvised Thrown Weapon, does that make me a salad-tosser ???
    Les Goblins Toxiques : A geek blog (in French) where I write about RPG, M:TG and such. Also has a podcast / radio show. RIP 2012 We had a great run but RL caught up with us!

  22. - Top - End - #22
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Alex12's Avatar

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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    43: Be a Dread Necromancer, and play it exactly like the stereotypical Bard in social situations. Flirt with and try and seduce everything you encounter.
    Quote Originally Posted by Time Blossom View Post
    And then you wrote about it on your livejournal, dyed your hair black and started taking warlock levels.

  23. - Top - End - #23
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    DwarfBarbarianGuy

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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    44: play fighter, pick up improved sunder, sunder the party wizard's spellbook in every single encounter. roleplay it like it was an accident.

  24. - Top - End - #24
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    WolfInSheepsClothing

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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    45. Use critical failure rules complete with self-damage and party-killing.
    46. Neglect to tell the players which UA variants you'll be using until they've already got their characters drawn up.
    47. Complain that you have to look up every spell you use before you use it.
    48. Grab hold of a game mechanic you don't understand and use it wrong, then blame the DM when it doesn't work the way you thought it would and stomp out of the game.

    [10+ years of DMing, a lot of it with 3.5e. I have some of these alright O.o;]

  25. - Top - End - #25
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    TrueJordan's Avatar

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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    49. Become a Diplomancer. Raise an army
    50. Planar Shepherd/Incantatrix
    51. Polymorph any Object shenanigans

    Trees: The greatest weapon in 3.5
    Avatar by the amazingly talented and generous Smuchmuch

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    Sun Tzu never had tier problems. If he had to deal with D&D, the art of war would read "Full casters or GTFO".

  26. - Top - End - #26
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Grod_The_Giant's Avatar

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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    Quote Originally Posted by Alex12 View Post
    43: Be a Dread Necromancer, and play it exactly like the stereotypical Bard in social situations. Flirt with and try and seduce everything you encounter.
    I was in a game where someone did that. Bloody charisma casters...
    Hill Giant Games
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    STaRS: A non-narrativeist, generic rules-light system.
    Grod's Guide to Greatness, 2e: A big book of player options for 5e.
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  27. - Top - End - #27
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    sideswipe's Avatar

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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    52. in a 6 month espionage campaign wait until 5 months and 3 weeks then as you are about to unleash a perfect plan and win the campaign by killing the BBEG get bored and say "i break cover and start cleaving through people looking at all your fellow party members and breaking their cover too and saying with me! we can do this!"

    (this actually happened). bye bye 6 months of investigation and planning....
    Last edited by sideswipe; 2014-05-20 at 11:48 AM.

  28. - Top - End - #28
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Alex12's Avatar

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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    Quote Originally Posted by Grod_The_Giant View Post
    I was in a game where someone did that. Bloody charisma casters...
    That's awesome, and I wish to hear more.
    Quote Originally Posted by Time Blossom View Post
    And then you wrote about it on your livejournal, dyed your hair black and started taking warlock levels.

  29. - Top - End - #29
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    SamuraiGuy

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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    53. As DM, reveal PC secrets casually, e.g., "Since you have become a werewolf ..." to shocked & amazed table
    54. Spill paint on other people's minis
    55. Forget to bring any cash, eat pizza anyway
    This ... is my signature finishing move!

    "It's never good when you make a fiend cringe" - MadGrady

    According to some online quiz, I'm a 6th level TN Wizard. They didn't give me full XP for all the monsters I've defeated while daydreaming.
    http://easydamus.com/character.html

    I am a Ranger Archetype: Gleaming Warden (thx to Ninja Prawn)

  30. - Top - End - #30
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    GnomeWizardGuy

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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    56. You and a friend create two kenku bards named Beaks by Dr. K and 2 beaks. Buy a sailing ship. Put wheels on the sailing ship. Buy horses. You now have a sailing ship carriage. Buy royal robes, colors that complement each others robes. You rap for your performances. You both carry a hand crossbow coated in gold. Always shoot with it turned sideways. Get Leadership. Have a running brothel with many attractive ladies. Use those ladies as chairs. You can also buy bodyguards, because you're awful in combat. Boost that perform all the way up, and put everything into charisma. Take 20 on all perform checks. You know have extraplanar creatures loving your performances.

    That's it, that's all folks.

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