I want a PC with a Short Skirt and a LOOONG Jacket.

[Terror_Incognito]

I was driving home this afternoon and this song came on the radio.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5KmB8Laemg

For some reason the lyrics made me think of DnD.

So I want to see what sort of character all you clever people can create using those lyrics for inspiration.

[Soarel]

Let's analyze the lyrics shall we?

I want a girl with a mind like a diamond

Clearly she has a high Int stat.

I want a girl who knows what's best

High Wis.

I want a girl with shoes that cut

Exotic weapon proficiency…

And eyes that burn like cigarettes

Darkvision, of course.

I want a girl with the right allocations

High Cha.

Who's fast and thorough

High Dex.

And sharp as a tack

High Int.

She's playing with her jewelery

Quite rich..

She's putting up her hair

Clearly a combat class.

She's touring the facility

High search skill.

And picking up slack

Fast movement speed.

I want a girl with a short skirt and a looooooooong jacket

Clearly she wears light armor…

I want a girl who gets up early

Some sort of tempered bodily features.

I want a girl who stays up late

Meditating maybe?

I want a girl with uninterrupted prosperity

Again, rich.

Who uses a machete to cut through red tape

Ah, so we know she has proficiency with a machete.

With fingernails that shine like justice

Seems like a LG aligned character to me.

And a voice that is dark like tinted glass

Clearly experienced and worldly.

She is fast and thorough

High Dex.

And sharp as a tack

High Int.

She's touring the facility

High search skill.

And picking up slack

Fast movement speed.

I want a girl with a short skirt and a looooooooong jacket

Clearly she wears light armor…

So…Lawful Good Monk, high Dex, Int, and Wis. Rich character backstory. Wears light armor and has exotic weapon proficiency with the machete. Glowing eyes indicate a race with Darkvision, possibly a dwarf.

There you go.

/thread

[The Grue]

I just wanted to say, well done.

[Terror_Incognito]

Sounds good Soarel.

My personal interpretation:

I want a girl with a mind like a diamond

I was thinking Psionics or Martial Manoeuvre (I don't have ToB but I think I've seen one called something like Diamond Mind)

I want a girl who knows what's best

Psionic Divination(?) or manoeuvres that give extra actions

I want a girl with shoes that cut

Not sure about this one

And eyes that burn like cigarettes

Gaze Attack

I want a girl with the right allocations

Made me think of feats/skills.

Who's fast and thorough

I agree with the high Dex,

And sharp as a tack

And the Int.

She's playing with her jewelery

Either RP'd as anxious or she has a Necklace of Fireballs

She's putting up her hair

Not sure

She's touring the facility

Agree with the high search

And picking up slack

Rather than speed, I thought high Strength or Con

I want a girl with a short skirt and a looooooooong jacket

Light armour.

I want a girl who gets up early
I want a girl who stays up late

Elf Trance maybe

I want a girl with uninterrupted prosperity

Rather than rich, talented or famous?

Who uses a machete to cut through red tape

Yes to Machete Proficiency.

With fingernails that shine like justice

This made me think of a Paladin. However I might be mixing Psionics and ToB already so I should avoid another class. Possibly Crusader?

And a voice that is dark like tinted glass

Dark made me think of evil. So a troubled Lawful Good half fiend elf?

She is fast and thorough
And sharp as a tack
She's touring the facility
And picking up slack
I want a girl with a short skirt and a looooooooong jacket

As above

So I got a LG Half-fiend Elf Crusader. Feats allocated towards improving Machete. Some sort of Gaze attack from template. She is a renowned hero, anxious about her dark heritage turning her into a monster.

[Broken Crown]

Let's analyze the lyrics shall we?

I want a girl with a mind like a diamond

...

So…Lawful Good Monk, high Dex, Int, and Wis. Rich character backstory. Wears light armor and has exotic weapon proficiency with the machete. Glowing eyes indicate a race with Darkvision, possibly a dwarf.

If she's got Diamond Mind, shouldn't she be a Swordsage rather than a Monk?

[Aedilred]

Using a machete to cut through red tape suggests a severe impatience with bureaucracy and procedure. So probably more likely NG/CG than Lawful.

[Fouredged Sword]

CG elven factotum // swordsage with machetes and boot blades as weapons.

[Knaight]

So…Lawful Good Monk, high Dex, Int, and Wis. Rich character backstory. Wears light armor and has exotic weapon proficiency with the machete. Glowing eyes indicate a race with Darkvision, possibly a dwarf.

Assuming D&D/Pathfinder:

The eyes could also be toned down to just imply sharper vision - low light would work. Meanwhile, elves trance instead of sleeping, and only half as much, allowing for waking up early and staying up late. I'm going elf here.

Outside of that, I could see some sort of noir character working really nicely. A very intelligent person employed deep in a bureaucracy with a side job of helping private eyes deal with them fits.

[CombatOwl]

Let's analyze the lyrics shall we?

I want a girl with a mind like a diamond

Clearly she has a high Int stat.

I want a girl who knows what's best

High Wis.

I want a girl with shoes that cut

Exotic weapon proficiency…

And eyes that burn like cigarettes

Darkvision, of course.

I want a girl with the right allocations

High Cha.

Who's fast and thorough

High Dex.

And sharp as a tack

High Int.

She's playing with her jewelery

Quite rich..

She's putting up her hair

Clearly a combat class.

She's touring the facility

High search skill.

And picking up slack

Fast movement speed.

I want a girl with a short skirt and a looooooooong jacket

Clearly she wears light armor…

I want a girl who gets up early

Some sort of tempered bodily features.

I want a girl who stays up late

Meditating maybe?

I want a girl with uninterrupted prosperity

Again, rich.

Who uses a machete to cut through red tape

Ah, so we know she has proficiency with a machete.

With fingernails that shine like justice

Seems like a LG aligned character to me.

And a voice that is dark like tinted glass

Clearly experienced and worldly.

She is fast and thorough

High Dex.

And sharp as a tack

High Int.

She's touring the facility

High search skill.

And picking up slack

Fast movement speed.

I want a girl with a short skirt and a looooooooong jacket

Clearly she wears light armor…

So…Lawful Good Monk, high Dex, Int, and Wis. Rich character backstory. Wears light armor and has exotic weapon proficiency with the machete. Glowing eyes indicate a race with Darkvision, possibly a dwarf.

There you go.

/thread

Or Swashbuckler/Duelist or Magus if Pathfinder.

[John Longarrow]

High Int/Dex, sees in the dark,
Stylish,

I think we've got a Drow on our hands. Probably a Sword Sage mixed with Beguiler.
Not lawful either.

[Metahuman1]

I'm gonna go LG here, darkvision or low light vision.

I'm thinking a Machete is just a short sword for our purposes, and the shoes thing is that boot blade weapon form complete scoundrel.

Class: Swordsage, race, Grey elf (or elf in pathfinder.).

Cutting through red tape: She's obviously prone to going after LE or problematic LN types within the system. Or it's literal and she knows the mountain hammer maneuver on top of her diamond mind maneuvers.

Diamond Mind also has a couple of tricks for high movement speed, though if she's rich she might also have a continuous item of haste.

Further, Swordsage offers light armor proficiency and bonuses while wearing it.

Obviously she's sporting high int and cha, and high wis and dex. Probably has weapons Finesse, Shadow Blade Strike, and maybe a dip into Shiba Protector and an apprentice feat to get her search as a class skill to max.

Maybe has the hidden talent feat to give her a Psionic Power or two for some form of divination.

[Synar]

CG elven factotum // swordsage with machetes and boot blades as weapons.

Seconded.

Even if I had never heard that song.