Let's Play "Twist My Wish!"

[Fax Celestis]

Okay, here's the premise: Using the standard Wish rules, a PC asks for something. The DM determines an evil way to twist the wish into a negative for the player.

Example:

"I Wish For Immortality!"

"Okay. Everyone knows your name. You are written in the history books as a murderer of Good King Blahdeblah. Everyone hates you, but your name will be remembered forever."

Get it?

So, twist my wish:

I wish for the spellcasting abilities of a mighty wizard to be my own.

[Matthew]

A mighty Wizard receives your Character Levels and loses his own. You become a Commoner 1. [i.e. the Spell Casting powers of a mighty Wizard have become your own.]

[Fax Celestis]

Good!

I wish to never die.

[Ashes]

You don't die. You just age at an accelerated pace. Soon, you won't be able to move.

(Dull, I know, but I wanna see more)

[Bryn]

Your Wish Granted With A Twist XXX in the SMBG section - um, this might be better off there...

[Saph]

You are erased from existence. You were never born and thus can never die.

Permanent unbreakable imprisonment is an option, too.

- Saph

[Fax Celestis]

I wish for the Hand of Vecna.

[Jack Mann]

You never die. You are directly transformed into a being of pure spirit, and dragged into the abyss by horrible demons.

Shouldn't this be in Silly Message Board Games?

[broderickdruce]

A Large Lich's hand comes out of the sky and crushes you. (You didn't specify WHICH hand)

[Saph]

I wish for the Hand of Vecna.

It appears in front of you, attached to its current owner.

- Saph

[BCOVertigo]

Good!

I wish to never die.

Wish granted!

I go back in time and kick your mother in the stomach, you gain the Stillborn Template!

[Bears With Lasers]

The Hand of Vecna appears.

It pimp-slaps you and tells you to give it its money, honey.

[Fax Celestis]

I wish for the ability to heal all wounds at will.

[Leadfeathermcc]

Good!

I wish to never die.

Your body ages, you live. When you turn 132 you are caught in a fire and burned badly, you live never fully healing. An accident at age 230 causes you to lose the four fingers on your left hand, you live. Down through the ages you lose various parts of you body. Eventually you lose your memory, you live. Your immortal body exists as no more than a shell of what you once were, but you live.


I wish that I knew the answer to every question

[Saph]

I wish for the ability to heal all wounds at will.

You get the ability, but you take all wounds thus healed on yourself, turning you into the world's biggest damage sponge.

- Saph

[Roethke]

Good!

I wish to never die.

Ooh. That one's easy.

We've got the aging forever = Not much fun problem, so just grant it.

Or, for those with slightly more dramatic flair, *Boom* You're undead.

Or, for the spiteful DM. *Poof* You're a demi-god. Hand me your character sheet.

I think I read somewhere that there are several single-celled organisms that can live indefinitely, given a food supply.

Here's one (without too much thought put into it)

I wish for the wealth equivalent of 1000 kings to be created in my vault

[Fax Celestis]

I wish that I knew the answer to every question

You learn the dark hidden secrets of the universe, which cause you to go insane at their ramifications.

[Wippit Guud]

I wish for the ability to heal all wounds at will.

You are instantly transported to the Temple of Will, a small wooden shack on top of the highest mountain on the continent. While at Will, you can heal all wounds.

[Fax Celestis]

I wish for the wealth equivalent of 1000 kings to be created in my vault

Every dragon in the world has just been robbed, and notes left saying where their loot is.

[broderickdruce]

You get the ability, but you take all wounds (Two Fold) thus healed on yourself, turning you into the world's biggest damage sponge.

- Saph

Bold parenthesis mine.

[Jack Mann]

I wish that I knew the answer to every question

You know the answers. Too bad you no longer know the questions.

[Captain van der Decken]

I wish for the ability to heal all wounds at will.

Granted. Nothing changes, because you can do that already - just rest long enough.

[BCOVertigo]

I wish for the wealth equivalent of 1000 kings to be created in my vault

Your vault is filled with traps whose total construction value is equal to the wealth of 1000 kings. Happy birthday.

[Fax Celestis]

I wish to be more powerful than the gods.

[Wippit Guud]

I wish for the wealth equivalent of 1000 kings to be created in my vault

Very well. You now have 250 decks of playing cards.

[Ashes]

You learn the dark hidden secrets of the universe, which cause you to go insane at their ramifications.

Ooooooh! Cthulhu!

I wish for the wealth equivalent of 1000 kings to be created in my vault

You get whatever 1000 kings in a vault what give you. I don't know what the going rate of a person is in D&D. The PHB doesn't mention it under adventuring equipment.

I wish to be more powerful than the gods.

You become like Azathoth. A gibbering, drooling, dumb-as-a-rock chunk of power.

[Fax Celestis]

Very well. You now have 250 decks of playing cards.

Nice. Very nice.

[Roethke]

Your vault is filled with traps whose total construction value is equal to the wealth of 1000 kings. Happy birthday.

Awesome. This one I didn't see coming at all.

[broderickdruce]

I wish for the wealth equivalent of 1000 kings to be created in my vault

Your vault is transported so that it encompases part of Tiamats horde, she's not too happy about that and good luck getting to it.

[Leadfeathermcc]

I wish to be more powerful than the gods.

All the gods become 1st level commoners. The devils and demons, fearing your power hunt you down and kill you before you can to the same to them.

I wish for the ability to post faster than everyone else