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  1. - Top - End - #91
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    BlackDragon

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    Quote Originally Posted by Angsty Anubite View Post
    *rises from the underworld*

    *gets new spleen torn up*

    ... This is not a good day for me.

    Sorry, I don't accept tea from ninjas. But I will take some asprin, if you have some.

    *leaps and takes my anger out on TPBM via slashy slash*
    This black dragon sorcerer does not approve of your methods, neither does reverse gravity.\

    I cast "pinned to the sky" on TPBM, then laugh
    Last edited by Sorrcerousflux; 2014-09-13 at 05:27 PM.
    Sry, for any delays; its not my intarnet... its probobly thr fact I spend several minuts spell checing miself.

    also, trilobites are awesome, no questions asked.

    Sorcerer in the playground, horror to bandits and wizards alike.

  2. - Top - End - #92
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Dudeons's Avatar

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    I whistle (yes, whistling in space, that is a thing) and my D20-shaped starship flies over and beams me into it.

    Now that I'm inside, I drop my d20 super-nuke down on TPBM below me, which is enough to destroy them and the planet they are on five times over.
    Last edited by Dudeons; 2014-09-13 at 07:10 PM.
    Humanized version of my first avatar made linklele.

    Declared God of Chance and Creativity as well as Equestria's Master of the d20.

    Quote Originally Posted by backwaterj View Post
    Love for the d12! Dudeons wins the game!

  3. - Top - End - #93
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Zaydos's Avatar

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    I fudge the dice to make sure the planet rolls a nat 20 on its Reflex save, and because for some strange reason I give all my planets Evasion it and everything on it takes no damage.

    Unfortunately TPBM was sent hurling out of the atmosphere by DM fiat mere moments earlier and is still within the area of the nuke.
    Peanut Half-Dragon Necromancer by Kurien.

    Current Projects:

    Group: The Harrowing Halloween Harvest of Horror Part 2

    Personal Silliness: Vote what Soulknife "Fix"/Inspired Class Should I make??? Past Work Expansion Caricatures.

    Old: My homebrew (updated 9/9)

  4. - Top - End - #94
    Orc in the Playground
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    I was sent hurtling downward out of the atmosphere, landing harmlessly on the ground thanks to my hastily-donned Boots of Flying.

    I flip between TPBM's legs and land a resounding blow on the back of his/her skull.
    "In reality perfection isn't really what we want, so we just throw words at the page and we call it a masterpiece if any part of it fits." -Schmidt

    Monstrous law. Human slaves. Feuding dragons. And the evil elven empire. Freeholders, coming soonTM.

    Hey look, a thing!

  5. - Top - End - #95
    Dwarf in the Playground
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    I feel a faint tap and abruptly wake up from a wonderful dream featuring something on fire. Maybe a falling rock? It couldn't possibly be one of those meddling adventurer types... could it? Well, better safe than sorry. Taking a deep breath, I bellow, "WHO DARES DISTURB MY SLUMBER!" Pause for effect. The cavern floor trembles. I think to myself, how unoriginal, I really need to work on getting better lines. It's embarrassing, really. Although I did just wake up, sheesh, cut me some slack. Just then, my echoing roar causes the cavern ceiling to collapse, dropping countless tons of sharp, pointy rocks on TPBM.
    Last edited by Orm-Embar; 2014-09-15 at 05:25 PM.
    Staring into the dragon's jaw, one quickly learns wisdom. - Steven Brust, Jhereg

    Nexus Character

  6. - Top - End - #96
    Orc in the Playground
     
    RedWizardGuy

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    I dig my way out like the dog I am.

    I pop up under TPBM and bite at something vital-looking!

  7. - Top - End - #97
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    BlackDragon

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    Quote Originally Posted by Angsty Anubite View Post
    I dig my way out like the dog I am.

    I pop up under TPBM and bite at something vital-looking!
    Having dirt in one's eyes and on one's face does not aid said person in discerning anatomy, this holds true for you as you viciously attack my heel, and a thrown out of the cave in which I was having a pleasant distinction with some human tribute bearers.

    Those tribute bearers take up arms to pillage more stuff for my hoard! Unfortunately TPBM is caught in the crossfire.
    Sry, for any delays; its not my intarnet... its probobly thr fact I spend several minuts spell checing miself.

    also, trilobites are awesome, no questions asked.

    Sorcerer in the playground, horror to bandits and wizards alike.

  8. - Top - End - #98
    Orc in the Playground
     
    BarbarianGuy

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    The crossfire of peasants does not concern a mighty barbarian as slaughters both forces and loots all of the bodies.

    I buy a shiny new +5 great axe with the spoils and use it to disembowel TPBM
    The first rule of gaming, before you have even chosen the game is and always should be

    HAVE FUN

    (FUN being defined as it is in dwarf fortress)

  9. - Top - End - #99
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Dudeons's Avatar

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    Dice-cane, Improved Disarm, natural 20 on initiative. I don't think so.

    I disarm the ax so hard that it cuts down a gigantic tree. As it falls on the unaware PBM, I shoot a ball of fire at the tree for extra effect.
    Humanized version of my first avatar made linklele.

    Declared God of Chance and Creativity as well as Equestria's Master of the d20.

    Quote Originally Posted by backwaterj View Post
    Love for the d12! Dudeons wins the game!

  10. - Top - End - #100
    Orc in the Playground
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    Unfortunately, the fireball has the unforeseen effect of . . . well, burning the tree. Splinters of firewood fall harmlessly around me. (The faithful of Tymora: membership has its privileges.)

    I *flips coin* engage TPBM in a spirited discussion about the methods of modern alchemy.
    "In reality perfection isn't really what we want, so we just throw words at the page and we call it a masterpiece if any part of it fits." -Schmidt

    Monstrous law. Human slaves. Feuding dragons. And the evil elven empire. Freeholders, coming soonTM.

    Hey look, a thing!

  11. - Top - End - #101
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Zaydos's Avatar

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    "Alchemy you say? Shall we discuss the new formulae by Teslatorodiussorinlannius Mendarwinstonsteinlobiquitzheinlienkirk Dirklingtonwellingsworthfideliuslupuscanisfelisgen seliacarboniferous? Or perhaps..."

    *32 hours pass*

    "-and that is why modern synthesis equipment is superior to cauldrons. It's not that... hey wake up... falling asleep in the middle of a discussion is rude."

    I finish eating the halfling above me and then pour out all the experimental concoctions I was going to use as the final proof of my argument. I hope you enjoy freezing cold electric fire acid that melts reality itself.
    Last edited by Zaydos; 2014-09-16 at 04:11 PM.
    Peanut Half-Dragon Necromancer by Kurien.

    Current Projects:

    Group: The Harrowing Halloween Harvest of Horror Part 2

    Personal Silliness: Vote what Soulknife "Fix"/Inspired Class Should I make??? Past Work Expansion Caricatures.

    Old: My homebrew (updated 9/9)

  12. - Top - End - #102
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    BlackDragon

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zaydos View Post
    "Alchemy you say? Shall we discuss the new formulae by Teslatorodiussorinlannius Mendarwinstonsteinlobiquitzheinlienkirk Dirklingtonwellingsworthfideliuslupuscanisfelisgen seliacarboniferous? Or perhaps..."

    *32 hours pass*

    "-and that is why modern synthesis equipment is superior to cauldrons. It's not that... hey wake up... falling asleep in the middle of a discussion is rude."

    I finish eating the halfling above me and then pour out all the experimental concoctions I was going to use as the final proof of my argument. I hope you enjoy freezing cold electric fire acid that melts reality itself.
    Being quite the alchemist myself I test out my experimental Uber-legit-Anti-catalyst, which metaphorically neuters your mixture, transforming it into mere water.

    I do however still have some anti catalyst left, and I use it on the TPBM, transmogrifying their body into a puddle of non-reactive goo.
    Last edited by Sorrcerousflux; 2014-09-16 at 06:33 PM.
    Sry, for any delays; its not my intarnet... its probobly thr fact I spend several minuts spell checing miself.

    also, trilobites are awesome, no questions asked.

    Sorcerer in the playground, horror to bandits and wizards alike.

  13. - Top - End - #103
    Orc in the Playground
     
    RedWizardGuy

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    I pray to Anubis for strength, and he enchants my sickles into holy weapons made from a divine material transcending this reality.

    I then combine toonforce with writer's block superhuman speed and concentration to divert the acid away from my person in a whirlwind of slashes resembling a wind turbine, flinging the dangerous substance into the face of TPBM.


    A ninja dragon! I am caught off guard and melted instantly.

    However, my guardian spirit retains power on this plane, and I use it to shuffle my burning remains below the feet of TPBM.
    Last edited by Angsty Anubite; 2014-09-16 at 06:41 PM.

  14. - Top - End - #104
    Dwarf in the Playground
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    Innate fire resistance. However, your remains shall be buried with full honors. Now all I need is about five million tons of rock.

    Meanwhile!

    I assume humanoid form long enough to nock a specially prepared "Arrow of TPBM Slaying" on my +5 longbow, and send it (the arrow, not the bow) whistling[1] through the air towards, you guessed it, TPBM.

    [1] The tune it whistles is called "Save or Die." It's catchy.
    Last edited by Orm-Embar; 2014-09-16 at 06:48 PM.
    Staring into the dragon's jaw, one quickly learns wisdom. - Steven Brust, Jhereg

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  15. - Top - End - #105
    Orc in the Playground
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    Meanwhile, in Zaydos' gullet (since this seems to constitute the entire draconic digestive tract):

    I find myself surrounded with an extremely rare and useful alchemical reagent, namely blue dragon gullet acid. Since Zaydos' alignment differs from my own, I spend every third round or so punching the gullet lining (for nonlethal damage; I'm nothing if not a polite house guest) to heal myself of the crushing and acid damage. Since by RAW I can breathe just fine while immersed in digestive juices I use the remainder of my time to carry out my work with the new reagent, perfecting Ever-Expanding Foam, the Tanglecolon Bag, and a version of Alchemist's Fire that functions equally well immersed in fluid.

    Suddenly with a twang a single arrow bursts through Zaydos' formidable hide, piercing just enough to cut a conveniently halfling-sized hole in the gullet. I climb out and mutter a polite thanks to Zaydos for cleaning my gear and giving me the opportunity to experiment.

    Don't worry, Zaydos, muscular action closes the hole, and all your other meals must cut their own way out (dragon physiology is weird!!).

    Free of my makeshift laboratory, I thank TPAM for the assist and run off cackling about how I've proven Zaydos wrong, inadvertently knocking a 40 HD Colossal GM Screen onto TPBM on the way out.

    @V: Love for the d12! Dudeons wins the game!
    Last edited by backwaterj; 2014-09-17 at 12:49 PM.
    "In reality perfection isn't really what we want, so we just throw words at the page and we call it a masterpiece if any part of it fits." -Schmidt

    Monstrous law. Human slaves. Feuding dragons. And the evil elven empire. Freeholders, coming soonTM.

    Hey look, a thing!

  16. - Top - End - #106
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Dudeons's Avatar

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    With a tap of my dice-cane, I produce a mansion-sized d12. The GM screen falls and is intercepted by the d12, sliding off harmlessly (it's still just paper).

    Unfortunately, the GM screen slides directly into the midsection of TPBM, bisecting them with the world's biggest papercut.
    Humanized version of my first avatar made linklele.

    Declared God of Chance and Creativity as well as Equestria's Master of the d20.

    Quote Originally Posted by backwaterj View Post
    Love for the d12! Dudeons wins the game!

  17. - Top - End - #107
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    BlackDragon

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dudeons View Post
    With a tap of my dice-cane, I produce a mansion-sized d12. The GM screen falls and is intercepted by the d12, sliding off harmlessly (it's still just paper).

    Unfortunately, the GM screen slides directly into the midsection of TPBM, bisecting them with the world's biggest papercut.
    Fortunately I had already bribed the GM with food! He spares me with a Dues ex Machina, and then gives me another artifact for my horde.

    Said artifact is the head of vecna, seeing it TPBM cuts of his head in a futile attempt to gain it's power.

    Spoiler
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    Vecna stil gets your soul, and I take your stuff.


    .
    Sry, for any delays; its not my intarnet... its probobly thr fact I spend several minuts spell checing miself.

    also, trilobites are awesome, no questions asked.

    Sorcerer in the playground, horror to bandits and wizards alike.

  18. - Top - End - #108
    Orc in the Playground
     
    RedWizardGuy

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    Thankfully I am still in spirit form, so I swivel around in the air desperately trying to slice my own head off, to no avail.

    After a moment of sobbing, I attempt to possess the body of TPBM, because Anubis is starting to get pissed about how frequently I'm dying.

  19. - Top - End - #109
    Orc in the Playground
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    Luck rerolls. Eventually I make that save.

    I wrap my chain around TPBM's foot, tripping him/her into a pit full of electroleechopines*.

    *genetically-engineered carnivores that are half leech, half electric eel, and half porcupine. Assuming normal doubling rules this works out to precisely one whole.
    "In reality perfection isn't really what we want, so we just throw words at the page and we call it a masterpiece if any part of it fits." -Schmidt

    Monstrous law. Human slaves. Feuding dragons. And the evil elven empire. Freeholders, coming soonTM.

    Hey look, a thing!

  20. - Top - End - #110
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins's Avatar

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    Well, your abominations are two-thirds comprised of entirely aquatic creatures. The pit will by necessity be filled with water. I can shoot freeze rays out of my gauntlets.

    Now then. Who wants to play 'dodge the orbital laser'?
    The above post sponsored by Fullbladder Manufacturing.
    And so begins the Age of Extinction! The Year of the Dinosaurs! And the Reign of the Predacons!
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    Avatar Credit: Kalirush, Lord Herman, Stoneburr, Simius Dr. Bath, Abardam, Fayt, Keris Rain, The Extinguisher, Qwernt, Kwarkpudding, Tiffanie Lirle, Djinn in Tonic, Coplantor, Crown of Thorns, and many more
    Quote Originally Posted by Uncle Festy View Post
    Fullbladder's awesome.

  21. - Top - End - #111
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Zaydos's Avatar

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    I play dodge the orbital laser to win. And sitting in the control chair I feel like I just won... I guess this makes me 'It'.

    I fire Fullbladder's orbital laser at TPBM.
    Peanut Half-Dragon Necromancer by Kurien.

    Current Projects:

    Group: The Harrowing Halloween Harvest of Horror Part 2

    Personal Silliness: Vote what Soulknife "Fix"/Inspired Class Should I make??? Past Work Expansion Caricatures.

    Old: My homebrew (updated 9/9)

  22. - Top - End - #112
    Dwarf in the Playground
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    Should've charged the batteries before pushing the big red button.

    I fall on TPBM from a great height, claws first.
    Staring into the dragon's jaw, one quickly learns wisdom. - Steven Brust, Jhereg

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  23. - Top - End - #113
    Orc in the Playground
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    I shake my head to clear the Postal Service song out of my head (probably what jinxed me).

    Assuming it's a fall and not a controlled dive, claws first is not a stable position and so you likely flip back-first midair, but be that as it may . . . I move. It's not like I don't have time.

    After making small talk for about three minutes while the dragon is falling something-first toward the ground, I convince TPBM that standing right in that growing shadow is a really good idea.
    "In reality perfection isn't really what we want, so we just throw words at the page and we call it a masterpiece if any part of it fits." -Schmidt

    Monstrous law. Human slaves. Feuding dragons. And the evil elven empire. Freeholders, coming soonTM.

    Hey look, a thing!

  24. - Top - End - #114
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    CrimsonKnight's Avatar

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    I shrug and easily catch the falling dragon. Being a 40 meter tall giant robot does make some problems trivially easy to deal with.

    I raise my size 40 foot and stomp TPBM.

  25. - Top - End - #115
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Zaydos's Avatar

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    Being over 40 meters long myself, I just roll over into you until we all fall in a tangled mass that destroys half the city.

    TPBM is in the first building we fall into.
    Peanut Half-Dragon Necromancer by Kurien.

    Current Projects:

    Group: The Harrowing Halloween Harvest of Horror Part 2

    Personal Silliness: Vote what Soulknife "Fix"/Inspired Class Should I make??? Past Work Expansion Caricatures.

    Old: My homebrew (updated 9/9)

  26. - Top - End - #116
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    BlackDragon

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zaydos View Post
    Being over 40 meters long myself, I just roll over into you until we all fall in a tangled mass that destroys half the city.

    TPBM is in the first building we fall into.
    No! I was in my life sized replica building of myself, I can survive (magic items are great for that) But all will pay! I squish TPBM with a large chunk of my statue.

    Then laugh.
    Sry, for any delays; its not my intarnet... its probobly thr fact I spend several minuts spell checing miself.

    also, trilobites are awesome, no questions asked.

    Sorcerer in the playground, horror to bandits and wizards alike.

  27. - Top - End - #117
    Orc in the Playground
     
    RedWizardGuy

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    I drive a red Ferrari 458 Spider through the destruction and chaos 2012 style, launching my car across an angled patch of pavement that acts as the perfect ramp for me to zoom over your fallen statue and leave some tire marks right below your stone-cold nose.

    I leap out of the car and roll to safety just before it crashes into TPBM.

  28. - Top - End - #118
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Dudeons's Avatar

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    With a zap from my dice-cane, I invert the cars airbags so they come out the headlights. The car hits me like a pillow and rolls away harmlessly.

    I then disassemble the car, rebuild it as a tripod-mounted proton cannon, and open fire on TPBM.
    Humanized version of my first avatar made linklele.

    Declared God of Chance and Creativity as well as Equestria's Master of the d20.

    Quote Originally Posted by backwaterj View Post
    Love for the d12! Dudeons wins the game!

  29. - Top - End - #119
    Orc in the Playground
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    As tripod-mounted protons are in short supply, the cannon doesn't do much other than look cool. But then, you hardly need a cannon for that, do you?

    I challenge TPBM to a riddle contest. First prize: the keys to Anubite's Ferrari!
    "In reality perfection isn't really what we want, so we just throw words at the page and we call it a masterpiece if any part of it fits." -Schmidt

    Monstrous law. Human slaves. Feuding dragons. And the evil elven empire. Freeholders, coming soonTM.

    Hey look, a thing!

  30. - Top - End - #120
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins's Avatar

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    Too late, man. I just finished hotwiring that proton cannon. I gots plenty of tripod-mounted protons. I answer your riddles with ridiculously superior firepower.

    I don't know. I guess I'll do my best to bludgeon TPBM with my bare power-gauntlet'd hands. Heh. A pity you Persons Below Me die so easily, or I might actually take some satisfaction in this. [/decepticon]
    The above post sponsored by Fullbladder Manufacturing.
    And so begins the Age of Extinction! The Year of the Dinosaurs! And the Reign of the Predacons!
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    Avatar Credit: Kalirush, Lord Herman, Stoneburr, Simius Dr. Bath, Abardam, Fayt, Keris Rain, The Extinguisher, Qwernt, Kwarkpudding, Tiffanie Lirle, Djinn in Tonic, Coplantor, Crown of Thorns, and many more
    Quote Originally Posted by Uncle Festy View Post
    Fullbladder's awesome.

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