Sexual tension in two-man adventuring parties: is it really a big problem?

[Super Evil User]

I have been reliably informed that adventuring parties consisting of two members are prone to having problems with sexual tension. Can anyone confirm this? Any specific experiences? If I was a member of one such party, what should I prepare myself for?

[AMFV]

I have been reliably informed that adventuring parties consisting of two members are prone to having problems with sexual tension. Can anyone confirm this? Any specific experiences? If I was a member of one such party, what should I prepare myself for?

If you were informed of this by the other member of the party you should probably prepare your character to deliver a swift knee to a sensitive area.

[BrokenChord]

If you were informed of this by the other member of the party you should probably prepare your character to deliver a swift knee to a sensitive area.

That's remarkably inefficient. I mean, unless you're a monk or something, unarmed strikes only do 1d2 + Str damage. Instead, invest in a kukri for all your sensitive-part-deflecting needs.

[DeadMech]

After much thought... I don't understand the question.

Unwanted romantic attention is... unwanted. Sometimes romantic attention isn't unwanted. Any time you put two people in the same room as long as one of them is reasonably attractive and of the other person's preference, eventually the thought crosses the mind. Sometimes that thought is acted upon.

So in a two person adventuring party this is about as much of a problem as it is going to be just about anywhere. Mind you I'm not sure if this is in character or out of character. Does it matter? I don't know.

I'm sure some terribly boring person will say something entirely too reasonable like suggest that you talk to the other person and talk about your boundaries if you think the situation will arise.

[Jermz]

Between PCs or between players?

[Jeff the Green]

This only happens to people with two-person parties? Damn, I wish i had their problems. I was DMing a 5 person group that included my cousin and his roommate who played an elf and a human, both male amoral thieves, who ended up keeping the rest of the party up all night, if ya know what I mean.

Anyway, if you're uncomfortable with it say so and ask them to knock it off/avoid it in the future. If you're not and both players are okay with it, then it's not really a problem.

[BWR]

I can't say I've experienced any problems with this, but I suppose it depends on whether you think that sexual tension is unenjoyable at the game table.

Mostly we play with more than two players, though. Sometimes PCs get into romantic and/or sexual relationships with eachother (mostly with NPCs) but I haven't noticed things being tense in any sense other than IC. If things are tense IC, you're probably doing a good job of roleplaying. If things are tense OOC, something is probably going wrong and you should fix it.

If the question is about players, I still haven't experienced it. Almost all our players are in relationships already so there's no tension between players (that I've noticed, at least), and the only one on one games I play are with my gf so there isn't really anything to worry about.

[aberratio ictus]

You should talk to the other person and tell them about your boundaries if you think the situation will arise.

...

Yes, I am a terribly boring person.

[Super Evil User]

Between PCs or between players?

PCs. My group is all-male and all of us are demonstrably heterosexual.

[Altair_the_Vexed]

What do you (the OP) think "secual tension" means? I think knowing that will help people advise you / discuss the topic better.

[Super Evil User]

What do you (the OP) think "secual tension" means? I think knowing that will help people advise you / discuss the topic better.

Something like this.

[Tengu_temp]

I really don't see how this is a two-man party thing. Sexual tension between characters mostly depends on who plays these characters, and who these characters are; if it forms when they're the only party members, it would also probably form if they were just a part of a much bigger group.

Also, sexual tension is fun if both people are okay with it. If they're not, then it gets creepy.

[golentan]

PCs. My group is all-male and all of us are demonstrably heterosexual.

What's this gotta do with the price of eggs in china? Your characters aren't you. Either your characters will have sparks or they won't. If you feel uncomfortable with sexuality being introduced to your game, then err on the side of "won't," but some harmless flirting can add some fun to group dynamics. It's not like you're expected to stab someone IRL if interparty conflict happens, and a good scrap between PCs can occasionally be a good thing as long as it doesn't derail the campaign or kick a character from the roster. Why is a little flirting different, and why does your sexuality matter in the slightest to that?

[Super Evil User]

Whoa there, partner. I was answering his question.

[Ettina]

Hasn't really happened to my group, and since we only have three consistent D&D players, all our parties are two-man.

The one my brother is DMing has a female Tibbit and a male Fenris. Absolutely no hint of sexuality in that campaign. They work together because their goals align, but they don't like each other much. Not the cat vs dog thing, more that the Tibbit is a bit prone to giving orders and the Fenris is fiercely independent.

The one I'm DMing has a sireine girl and a homebrew race guy (some sort of guy resurrected by an evil god from another dimension). The homebrew race guy is only involved in the campaign because he has a crush on the sireine, but it causes no real tension, because the sireine is quite happy to string him along and he's happy to be strung.

[Sith_Happens]

Something like this.

...Is this thread really just a thinly-veiled shipping joke?

[KillianHawkeye]

From Wipedia:

Sexual tension is a social phenomenon that occurs when two individuals interact and one or both feel sexual desire, but the consummation is postponed or never happens. A common scenario is where the two individuals function in close proximity, such as co-workers or in a group of friends but do not have sex, in order to avoid awkwardness. Another common scenario is when two people's attraction is limited to physical, with there being no emotional attraction.

Sexual tension can also occur when two individuals have previously had sexual relations and still feel an attraction towards each other, but do not wish to have sex again for fear of its effect on their current social situation (such as maintaining a relationship with a different partner). It can also be felt in situations when two individuals have a relation devoid of physical contact, as in a long distance relationship.

Sexual tension often occurs between friends when the relationship is close and often flirtatious, yet the two people involved adamantly deny their feelings for each other to themselves, and to others. Meanwhile, it can be extremely obvious to other friends/co-workers that such tension is present between the two individuals. It can be said that often when people give in to sexual tension, the relationship can become complicated and awkward if no new relationship level is established, as the relationship that existed before the sex is, in a way, no longer valid.

It is a common feature of plot and characterization in works of fiction. This longing is often suggested by incidents of intimacy; for instance, when two people or characters are alone and in close proximity (or actually touching), yet desire is never explicitly expressed. Another common theme is for characters to develop an interest in one another over the course of the plot, and if this is expertly done the audience can become aware of the growing attraction.

So based on this description, which I find to be generally accurate, I fail to see what sort of "problems" this actually causes.

What sort of problems, specifically, were you warned about? Is it a problem because both of the characters are men? If so, that's not a problem with sexual tension, it's a problem with close-mindedness and/or personal boundaries. Are you worried about unwanted flirtation or sexual harassment? That is a whole different thing; as noted above, sexual tension usually describes a situation where people would like to hook up but don't do it because reasons, and it's that denial (or postponement) of their carnal urges which causes tension in their relationship. Even when it is a one-way street, it just as often leads to awkwardness and embarrassment for the one craving the attention as anything else. Or maybe you're just not comfortable with sexual content in your roleplaying games at all? That's totally fine, but if that's the case I still fail to see how sexual tension is somehow an inevitability whenever any two characters are alone together.

[The Insanity]

I play solo games instead of in a group with my girlfriend and part of the reason is sexual tension.

[Daishain]

Depends on the circumstances. The kind of danger that PCs face and overcome together often has two effects on people

The first is an increasing sense of kinship to those they fight with. The second is a form of tension that builds up, it can often manifest itself sexually.

However, barring unusually prolonged and isolated circumstances, the second factor is only likely to be an issue between two adventurers if at least one had some attraction to the other in the first place. In other words, its likely to make an adventurer think about a partner they are at least somewhat interested in more, and more likely to act on that interest, but it doesn't tend to create such an attraction in the first place.

Even in the unusual circumstances mentioned before, it wouldn't tend to lead to any kind of relationship, is just a result of the tension having no other outlet for too long, and will disappear basically as soon as another outlet is found.

Of course, on the other hand, if you send two people that are at least somewhat attracted to each other out on a 3 month long danger fraught adventure, unless they have a compelling reason to stay apart, chances are they'll be boning each other by the time they return, or at the very least, having to awkwardly come up with excuses not to.

[LibraryOgre]

Never been a thing. I've had in-game romances with other PCs before, but sexual tension just because two people are adventuring together? It sounds like they're cribbing from action movies and rom coms.

[Mastikator]

Once upon a time one player in an ex-group of mine flirted with a girl he was attracted to. It stopped when his girlfriend joined the party. But never anything between PCs, and rarely anything between PCs and NPCs.

I would not describe it as "prone to happen", more like "rare, forced, weird always unappreciated by everyone else and inappropriate".

I'm not saying PC to PC romance can't happen in a game, but it is something everyone should be OK with in advance.

[Slipperychicken]

First thing to do is talk to people about it.

As far as my personal preference, I'd say it depends on how it's being roleplayed. If by "sexual tension", you mean "hurr hurr I stick it on his pooper while he's sleeping", I just wouldn't even go there. That's just too creepy and disgusting for me.

If it's more of a very subtle "deep male friendship" thing (like in many works of fiction where you have pairs of heterosexual male protagonists who nonetheless enjoy a deep personal bond), which does not ever result in players describing anal at the table, I could see that working.

[Jay R]

The question is too vague. If you could tell us more specifically what you mean, we'd be better able to help you.

If you are worried that the other player will force sexual attentions on yours, tell the player that you don't want to role-play that.

If you are worried that the DM will force sexual attraction on both players, tell the DM that you aren't willing to play that kind of adventure.

If you are asking if there is a rule that makes this happen based on a die roll, the answer is that there is no such rule.

What, exactly, are you asking?

[JusticeZero]

If they weren't interested, they will remain uninterested. This isn't a problem. If they were interested, they won't stay tense long and will likely hook up after the first CL-appropriate encounters. This is also not a problem, since they're downright boring at that point.

[Red Fel]

As a rule, I discuss the possibility of any sexual tension between my PC and another's before it comes up, if and only if it looks like a possibility. If it doesn't look like a possibility, it's not even worthy of mention; if it is, possible romantic entanglements constitute an IC issue that I'd rather discuss OOC before implementing. And if either I or the other player express any discomfort over the idea, it stops before it starts.

You are in control of your PC. You are under no obligation to say, "Well, darn, we've been captured by the town guard, I guess we have to engage in innuendo and suggestive banter while escaping under cover of night." Doesn't have to happen if you don't want it to.

Now, sexual tension between the players is an entirely different problem, and one which I avoid like the plague. But since you say that's not a problem, then it boils entirely down to what lines you are willing to draw with regard to your characters, who I repeat are under your control.

[Raphite1]

I just don't understand how this becomes a thing in RPGs at all. RPing my character having romantic interactions with an NPC, with the DM playing the NPC, would make me feel really creepy. Sure, maybe it makes sense in-story for my character to develop a romance, but the RPing of it with another real person is just WTF to me.

Having my character make romantic advances toward another PC, played by someone with whom I have no RL romantic relationship, would be absolutely taboo-level creepy to me. Like, feels-like-this-would-be-sexual-harassment-and-should-be-kicked-out-of-the-group-for-this creepy.

Yes, I've played with people who love having romantic relationships with NPCs. I just don't get it.

[LibraryOgre]

I just don't understand how this becomes a thing in RPGs at all. RPing my character having romantic interactions with an NPC, with the DM playing the NPC, would make me feel really creepy. Sure, maybe it makes sense in-story for my character to develop a romance, but the RPing of it with another real person is just WTF to me.

So, amusing story. The wife of a buddy of mine used to get really jealous. Like, unreasonably so. At one point, she was running L5R and he was playing a very social character who was, of course, flirting. She started getting mad at him and we finally had to stop the game and say "[Name], you're getting mad at him because his character is flirting with an NPC... who is played by you."

[CarpeGuitarrem]

I've played in and ran plenty of these. No tension of any kind, romantic or sexual, to be found anywhere. Turns out that two adventurers can, in fact, bond and be pals without romantic drama.

[Jay R]

You are in control of your PC. You are under no obligation to say, "Well, darn, we've been captured by the town guard, I guess we have to engage in innuendo and suggestive banter while escaping under cover of night." Doesn't have to happen if you don't want it to.

We don't? But then ... then the movies lied. They lied to us!

[CarpeGuitarrem]

We don't? But then ... then the movies lied. They lied to us!

Kid, I've got some bad news for ya...