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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    NecromancerGuy

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    Default Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    Welcome, one and all to the seventh episode of this illustrious thread series on exactly how best to make your DM cry. As usual, we are always willing to lend a kind ear to your frustrations on things that have been banned, vetoed or just plain killed off at your table. Previous threads are listed below:

    [Any] Things I may no longer do while playing.
    Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
    Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
    Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
    Things I May No Longer Do While Playing V: Pun & Pun, Rules-Attorneys at Law
    Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VI: This Isn't A Checklist We Swear!

    Note: if you're going to use numbers, please keep the numbering in order. This means:
    1) don't add sub-rules to previous numbers--people will think that number is the current one
    2) look to make sure that the last post isn't a sub-rule to a previous number

    I suggest using asterisks, though, as the first thread did.
    Last edited by Adrastos42; 2014-09-08 at 08:42 PM.

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    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    NecromancerGirl

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    * when building a 5e character, I will not intentionally pick backgrounds and character classes that simply do not work together - no matter how funny the noble or sage barbarian, or the charlatan paladin is.
    ** My charlatanadin cannot then go on and sell himself as a paladin of a different god in a scam to displace that god in the current towns eyes and then return later on to convince them to worship his god
    *** well he can, but he can't call converting worshipers a scam. no matter how much he wants to
    "This aint no game, Time to make history, yeah"

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    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Ryu_Bonkosi's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    *As a DM if my climatic battle can be described as "Army of Darkness, but campier" it is vetoed.
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    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Zombie

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    * Even if I provide a requisition request with the appropriate NATO stock number, still can't have a Challenger II
    * Can't do anything I saw on Skippy's List either.
    * Even if the Americans have plenty to go around, they still don't look kindly on me 'borrowing' their tanks.
    * If we haven't been issued with an LMG, can't just weld a couple of fans to an assault rifle fitted with a drum mag and bipod (even if it would totally have worked to keep it cool)

    * If we can't open a chest, not allowed to just pick it up and carry it with us for the rest of the dungeon crawl
    ** Especially not allowed to do this with multiple chests
    *** Can't use Fly and the impregnable chests for an impromptu aerial bombardment.

    * We don't need to check that everyone's named all their clothes before going on a dungeon crawl
    ** Nor do we need signed permission from our parents

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    ElfPirate

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    *I may no longer make jokes about falling moons or creepy masks whenever someone says it's the start of the third day.
    Edit: (Of travel, of investigating a town, etc.)
    Last edited by Psykenthrope; 2014-09-08 at 06:15 PM.

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    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    * When a player decides to play as Zoey from Left 4 Dead, complete with shotguns, in a standard fantasy setting, I shouldn't complain
    ** Especially when I had previously tried to play a Lolth-touched Centaur War Hulk/Hulking Hurler when said player was DM'ing
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    Quote Originally Posted by Welknair View Post
    *Proceeds to google "Bride of the Portable Hole", jokingly wondering if it might exist*

    *It does.*

    What.

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    unseenmage's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    * No longer allowed to "show interest" in a fledgling PbP game to the point of killing said game.
    ** Regardless of how useful the info would be, no longer allowed to ask enough questions of newbie DMs to scare them away.
    *** Absolutely not allowed to DM & play said games by myself just because I stubbornly refuse to let the game die.

  8. - Top - End - #8
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    NecromancerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    * I should refrain from hiring an order of elite assassins, fabled for their 100% success rate, to kill the party "to help keep us on our toes".
    ** No, the fact that I included myself in the kill order does not make it any better.
    *** As it turns out, revealing that I appropriated party funds to hire the assassins will not get me hailed as a paragon of worthy usage of shared resources.
    **** It may however cause the party to pool their remaining resources to hire more assassins to kill just me.
    ***** Cannot then spin this as "helping the party work together in a time of strife" and claim the whole thing was a success.

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    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    *No longer allowed to man a cannon.
    **No longer allowed to man the canon.
    ***No, not even then.
    Quote Originally Posted by Dienekes View Post
    The Joker is supposed to be a nightmarish figure, the culmination of all things despicable and horrible about mankind. Of course he's a hipster.

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    WolfInSheepsClothing

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    Quote Originally Posted by GPuzzle View Post
    *No longer allowed to man a cannon.
    **No longer allowed to man the canon.
    ***No, not even then.
    *** No longer allowed to fire the canon man out of a manned cannon
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    I mean, you're a bard. If it doesn't end with everyone getting married boning indiscriminately, it's a tragedy.

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    * If I plan on tanking in the battle, the appropriate declaration is "I use my Draw Fire talent", not "I ENDURE, BITCH".
    ** "Immortality" and "murder" are not force traditions I can specialize in.
    *** My character is not to be refered as Darth Tankred.
    I'm looking for a DM for a skype Star Wars Saga Edition game. If you are interested, please write me in skype (taumaturgist).

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    Sith_Happens's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    * If the character whose concept is "generic anime action hero" is the straight-man of the party, something has gone horribly wrong.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cirrylius View Post
    That's how wizards beta test their new animals. If it survives Australia, it's a go. Which in hindsight explains a LOT about Australia.

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    Hyena's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    ** If a sith whose catchphrase is "Murder." is the most sane member of the party, something has gone seriously wrong.

    Spoiler
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    The other party members are bat**** insane twi'lek with affinity for explosions, nudist pilot, who wants to create life FOR SCIENCE, and a catman, who literally takes 200kg of guns and ammo everywhere he walks.
    I'm looking for a DM for a skype Star Wars Saga Edition game. If you are interested, please write me in skype (taumaturgist).

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  14. - Top - End - #14
    Troll in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    *Just because i can choose DnD (5th Ed) as a tool/gameset proficiency doesnt mean i should
    **Even if i am a Wizard with the Hermit background
    ***Expecially if my revelation of the cosmos is that we live in a universe being played in DnD
    ****Not to preach the end of the world as a result of a natural 1
    *****Not to Recurse the game into playing the game we are currently playing.
    ******not to narrate over the DM's narration.

    Quote Originally Posted by Hyena View Post
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    and a catman, who literally takes 200kg of guns and ammo everywhere he walks.
    Hes not insane, hes just prepared
    Last edited by toapat; 2014-09-09 at 02:59 AM.
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    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    * If I take ranks in Profession (Seamstress), I'd better have a needle.
    ** This applies doubly if the DM reads Terry Pratchett's books
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    Quote Originally Posted by Draconium View Post
    All things considered, the guy whose character attacked a gazebo may have actually had a point...
    Quote Originally Posted by Anlashok View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by sideswipe View Post
    ban the problem spells and the problem classes. not the whole book.
    So.. Keep the bard?
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    Ionbound's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    ***From now on, I must play Needlewomen. Not seamstresses.
    ****Masseuses and 'Bakers that specialize in the tuppenny upright' are right out.

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    Spamalot in the Playground
     
    DigoDragon's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    * I am no longer allowed to successfully convince the GM that his die roll was photoshopped.
    ** Especially when we're playing together at the table.
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    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    ElfRogueGirl

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    3.5
    *I better have a good reason for having any of the following: Perform, Profession (masseuse), or Craft (Poison) if I am the Paladin.

    *The INT 10 Paladin better not be the only one with ranks in Knowledge Skills, Craft, or Linguistics.
    **The INT 8 Were-crocodile does not count if the party size is above 2.
    ***If a Wizard or Bard is present, someone will be hit with a book.
    ****If APL is 10 and party size is 8, your first encounter is a Terrasque.

    4e
    *If the Fighter is making magic items and the Artificer is not, something is fundamentally wrong.

    PF
    *No you may not qualify for Chevalier at level 2
    **Even if you meet the requirements
    Last edited by PrincessCupcake; 2014-09-10 at 10:53 AM.
    Spoiler: Questions the DM Never Expected to Need an Answer For
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    "What if I cut off my legs, attached my arms to the stumps, and then got ANOTHER pair of arms to attach to my shoulder sockets?"

    "What is the cost and weight of a mirror big enough to fit a human inside?"

    "Can I summon blink dog corgis?"

    "Can I cast Feather Fall on a crashing airship?"

    "Is there a place in the city we could open a brothel?"

  19. - Top - End - #19
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    *"Two of everything in the armoury" is not a valid answer for the question "How is [your character] armed?"
    **This goes double if the game is DnD and the armoury referenced is from Dark Heresy
    ***Or Deathwatch
    ****Or ANYTHING Warhammer 40k-related. You do in fact not have two earthshaker cannons.
    **Put away the lightsaber.
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  20. - Top - End - #20
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    Flumph

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    * When witnessing a werewolf in transformation, no flash photography, please.

    (Especially when the entire party is attempting to hide and this gives away your position.)

  21. - Top - End - #21
    Orc in the Playground
     
    GnomeWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    *not aloud to play a summoner with a bubble edolon.
    **not aloud to play a kender, their ridiculous homebrew.
    ***not aloud to obsessively: steal, collect, lie, or acquire power.
    ****not aloud to obsessively do anything.
    *****not aloud to have plans to do anything.
    ******when the player famed for always coming up with some ridiculous and obstructive character design decides to play a strait druid the dm has the right to be suspicious.

  22. - Top - End - #22
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    Anonymouswizard's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    *When a player says they want to play an elf, the correct response is not "well, someone needs to die first."
    **They also do not have to roll to resist the urge to steal babies.

    *There is no prestige class called "GM's girlfriend"
    **I am to check the GM's orientation before I attempt to qualify.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zelphas View Post
    So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

  23. - Top - End - #23
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    NecromancerGirl

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymouswizard View Post
    **They also do not have to roll to resist the urge to steal babies..
    of course not, that's the faries
    "This aint no game, Time to make history, yeah"

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    Anonymouswizard's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    Quote Originally Posted by Beige View Post
    of course not, that's the faries
    At least in D&D elves have enough fairy characteristics that you can run them as sidhe instead of älfar (I think that's spelt correctly), which I tend to do.

    Also:
    *I am no longer allowed to argue about the qualities of the seelie and unseelie. (Specifically, if seelie are good)
    *If I have to explain the myth my character is based upon, it is vetoed.
    **The description cannot start "he's sort of the Irish Heracles, but not as strong, and far better with women"
    *If I have invited the girl I have a crush on to the campaign I should check the cover of my hitchhiker's guide.
    **If I am the GM I may ignore the advice it provides.
    ***The correct response is not "also invite the boy I have a crush on".
    Snazzy avatar (now back! ) by Honest Tiefling.

    RIP Laser-Snail, may you live on in our hearts forever.

    Spoiler: playground quotes
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zelphas View Post
    So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

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    Rater202's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    *When my Character is a Scion of Iris, Greek Goddess of Rainbows, and I've got a lot of purview ranks in sky and psychopomp, as well as maxed out dex and epic dex, and I'm trying to come up with a 3-die stunt on a flying check, the Sonic Rainboom should have been my first choice, not the one an other forum poster suggested.
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    Quote Originally Posted by zimmerwald1915 View Post
    Meteor
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    Way down the air
    To the floor
    Where my other
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    Spamalot in the Playground
     
    DigoDragon's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    * I am no longer allowed to play as a Postman.
    ** My job is not to deliver the mail.
    *** The mail is not slang for dealing damage.
    **** Damage is not a tangible thing you can mail.
    ***** Nor can I return it to sender in mid-attack for improper postage.
    ****** I am banned from watching Kevin Costner movies before playing Fallout Equestria.
    Last edited by DigoDragon; 2014-09-09 at 07:40 PM.
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    Ionbound's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    *Not allowed to have an 800 HD Undead minion at level 8.
    **Or...Ever, for that matter.

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    Sartharina's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    Quote Originally Posted by Hyena View Post
    ** If a sith whose catchphrase is "Murder." is the most sane member of the party, something has gone seriously wrong.

    Spoiler
    Show
    The other party members are bat**** insane twi'lek with affinity for explosions, nudist pilot, who wants to create life FOR SCIENCE, and a catman, who literally takes 200kg of guns and ammo everywhere he walks.
    Okay. I like your group already.

  29. - Top - End - #29
    Orc in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    * My ranger may have favored enemy (lagomorphs).
    ** My ranger with favored enemy (lagomorphs) may not have rhotacism.
    *** My rhotic ranger with favored enemy (lagomorphs) must have a full head of hair.
    **** My bald, rhotic ranger with favored enemy (lagomorphs) may not, under any circumstances, utter the sentence “be vewwy, vewwy, quiet, I’m hunting wabbit”.
    ***** If I do, and the party has to deal with bugs bunny, I should expect to get blamed for it.
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    Halfling in the Playground
     
    MindFlayer

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    All from a single pathfinder game or discussions about it. I probably missed some stuff though

    Giving away other party members to an angry barbarian tribe is not "a solid negotiation tactic"
    *especially if my character's a paladin
    **Even if she was the one to get them angry int the first place

    No matter how consensual my paladin can now only use his manacles on prisoners

    Even after I glammered my armor male stripper is not an appropriate clothing choice

    I can't taunt the rogue player with a list of classes better suited for his role

    I can't brag to the ninja about how he spent years training for his class while my paladin gets all his abilities from an hour on his knees

    I can no longer describe prayer as an hour on my knees

    Other players saying geas is not a good use of a spell slot doesn't mean I take it as a challenge.
    Last edited by calam; 2014-09-09 at 10:51 PM.

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