The Ikea Tarrasque, Version 2.0

[Rei_Jin]

I promised this, and now I deliver to you, my latest creation!

This, is the new and improved Ikea Tarrasque Version 2.0, adapted so that anyone at home can have their very own Ikea Tarrasque.

Unfortunately, due to the good people at WoTC removing some of the brokenness that was inherant in 3.0, I can no longer make a creature that is immune to all damage.

I did make something damn close though. ;D


This is a template combination that can be added to any Animal, Beast, Giant, Humanoid Creature, Magical Beast, or Monstrous Humanoid that makes it immune to weapons of all types, and nearly all spells.

Lernean Multi-Headed Half Clay Golem.

Cost? +7 Challenge Rating, or +7 Level Adjustment and 2 Racial Hitdie.


The Base Creature gains the Construct Subtype

Add 2 hitdie to the original total,

Gain an extra head

+2 to Listen, Search and Spot

Gain Improved Initiative and Combat Reflexes as bonus feats.

Stats are adjusted as follows: Str +8, Dex -2, Con (removed), Int -6, Wis +0, Cha -6.

It automatically Berserks in battle, adding +4 to Strength, and -2 to AC.

All damage it deals is wounding damage that can only be healed with a healing spell of level 6 or higher.

After being in combat for 1 round, it may Haste for 3 rounds. This is only useable once per day.

It is Immune to any affect that targets its body thanks to the Lernaean subtype, and the only vulnerable part of it is its heads.

There are a few ways to kill this beast, but it is difficult.

Firstly, a successful Death effect or a Disintegrate effect will kill it outright.

Secondly, removing one of it's head with a slashing weapon, and then applying 5 points of either fire or acid damage to the stump before it regrows will kill it once all it's head are gone.

Thirdly, an unsuccessful Death effect or Disintegrate effect that deals enough damage to it will remove one of it's heads, at which point you need to deal 5 points of either fire or acid damage.

But you will have a few problems doing so.

Firstly, thanks to the Half-Clay Golem template it is Immune to slashing and piercing damage. This means that the only way to even hurt it is with a Death effect or a Disintegrate effect.

Secondly, also thanks to the Half-Clay Golem template, it is also has the following abilities.

Immunity to any spell or spell-like ability that allows spell resistance.

Acid now Heals it 1 point of damage for every 3 points of damage it would have done, instead of harming it.

Immunity to all mind effects.

Immunity to poison, sleep effects, paralysis, stunning, disease, death effects, and necromancy effects.

A Disintegrate spell slows it for 1d6 rounds and deals 1d12 points of damage.

A Move Earth spell drives it back 120 feet and deals 3d12 points of damage to it.

An Earthquake spell cast directly at it stops it from moving on it's next turn, and deals 5d10 points of damage.


So, in order to stop it, you need to deal hitpoint damage either with multiple Disintegrate spells, Move Earth spells, or Earthquake spells.

Unfortunately, even Wish doesn't work against this beast, as Wish allows Spell Resistance.

In any case dealing damage equal to half the original hitpoint total, then deal 5 points of fire damage to the stump within 1d4 rounds, or two heads grow from the stump, each with the original hitpoint total.

I say good luck to you. This is difficult, but not impossible.

There are two things I would like to see here.

Firstly, can anyone prove to me that this template stacking doesn't work, or that it won't work the way I am suggesting?

Secondly, I would like to see what beasts other people can come up with using this template.

EDIT: Just changed the size restrictions. There are none, but the larger the creature, the more heads it CAN have, and hence the higher level adjustment and challenge rating. If you leave it with only 1 head though, that doesn't change.

More heads equals more Racial Hitdie.

For each extra head, add +2 Racial Hitdie, and +2 to Listen, Search and Spot.

Restrictions on extra heads(From base creature)

Medium Size or Smaller: Up to 1 extra head
Large Size: Up to 3 extra heads
Huge Size: Up to 11 extra heads
Gargantuan Size: Up to 19 extra heads
Colossal Size: Up to 29 extra heads.

CR/LA Adjustments for extra heads

1 Head: As above
2-4 Heads: +1
5-7 Heads: +2
8-10 Heads: +3
11-15 Heads: +4
16-20 Heads: +5
21-25 Heads: +6
26-29 Heads: +7

[PhoeKun]

To start, I cannot find anything to indicate that these templates do not stack. One problem down.

Now, why does it have to be Medium or smaller? Granted, this lets you make damn near unkillable creatures at CRs as low as 8 (Just imgaine the look on the party's faces when the see a Lernean Half Clay Golem Wolf...), which is actually an unstoppable encounter for an "appropriately" leveled party, but why can't you add this to, say, a Fire Giant? CR 17, and immune to the only remaining form of damage that can stop it from sprouting more heads.

I'll fiddle around/look at this more later. Someday, when I have players more apt at munchkinry, I will have need of his dread powers...

[Rei_Jin]

Ok, edited the first post to reflect the actual nature in regards to size and number of heads.

[Goumindong]

Earthquate and Move earth arent problems if SLASHING damage is required to remove a head, so you can safely rules those out.

What you are looking at now is being killed outright by multipule (or single) disentegrates. Since the golem is using special rules for disentegrate, each hit counts(in my mind) as a "successfull disentegrate" that (probably) doesnt reduce it to zero hit points.

So you just need something or some creature that doesnt have to worry about ray effects and you are golden.

Edit: Such as something with enough ECL in order to have a 36,000 GP shield (reflecting).

Anything that increases touch AC by a significant amount.

Rings of spell turning as well.

Rods of absorbtion will protect this beast for between 7 or 8 disentegrates

Another thing to be wary about is slashing damage wielders with scarabs of golembane.

Blink Dogs would make especialy nasty base creatures.

[Orion-the-G]

Got to be a 'reflective' template out there somewhere :D

[PhoeKun]

Are we still allowed to make this guy a Monster of Legend? I think the spell turning ability they can have would do the trick...

anyway, for the sheer fun of it, let's take a Wolf, and apply the template as written right now.

So that's one wolf, with 2d8+4 hit points. Adding the two templates, we have a two-headed wolf-construct with 4d8 hit dice (16 hp). The only way to kill it is to cause it to fail its save against a disintegrate spell which causes at least 8 hp of damage (unlikely since it does 1d12), and then another 5 hp of fire damage inside 1d4 rounds. The nasty thing here is that the wolf is CR 1, plus 7 CR for the added templates, making it a grand total of CR 8.

Do you know any level 8 parties with access to disintegrate? I don't. Cerberus' got nothing on this puppy.

Another idea: a Lernean Half-Clay Golem Wyrmling Red Dragon. CR 11... and I think it might just be invincible. Any holes I'm missing?

[Goumindong]

Cant be dragons...

However that doesnt matter, because i have solved the "killable" problem for disentegrate.

Bat or Rat Swarm.

CR 2, Tiny Animal.

Spells or effects that only affect one target cannot affect swarms. (By by disgentegrate, by by cauterizing a head, by by attacking the head only)


So, now you just have to worry about your invincible CR 9 swarm not doing enough damage to kill your opponents with its automatic damage.

For the higher CR(and something that can kill any living creature given some time), try a hellwasp swarm (unfortounatly, much higher CR, at 8 base for a total of 15), a magical beast, which, with the added ability of being able to inhabit a body and turn it into a zombie (and deal 2d4 con dmg per hour, no save to a living host) and take actions for the body, means you can turn any creature with anatomy into an unkillable beast. Heal and Remove Disease will force them out of the body, except not because they are immune (both require spell resistance), and it doesnt really matter anyway, because you cant kill them.

edit: So unless those templates say that they cant be applied to swarms, the ikea tarrasque is complete at CR 9, and able to kill nearly any opposition at CR 15.

[AtomicKitKat]

Swarms are considered Vermin. Not listed in the above thing.

Iron Golem would solve the disintegrate problem, although then you get the Rusting Grasp problem. :-/

[Wih]

The only problem I can see with it is that the Half-Golem templates are a 3.0 template, and thus only have a CR increase - no LA increase, and so you can't use it for a PC.

[The_Pyre]

Cant be dragons...

Azers? ;D

+1 CR, same HP, immunity to fire, but slightly lower speed.

[PhoeKun]

The only problem I can see with it is that the Half-Golem templates are a 3.0 template, and thus only have a CR increase - no LA increase, and so you can't use it for a PC.

The true spirit of the Ikea Tarrasque is an anti-munchkin weapon. Its the DM telling his rules-exploiting, game breaking players "I can do it too. No wait, I can do it better. Now knock it off, and play nice."

Azers? ;D

+1 CR, same HP, immunity to fire, but slightly lower speed.

No outsiders, either. So far, the only fire-immune creature I can get those pesky golem arms to stick to is a Fire Giant. I'm still looking for a lower CR creature.

[Rigeld2]

Wheres the Lernean template from? Crystalkeep doesnt have it and im not at home.

[Overlord]

However, if the swarm template itself stacks with the rest of Rei Jin's templates, then I believe there is one monster that will work: The Needletooth Swarm (From the MM3). The Needletooth swarm is an animal, so the Ikea Tarrasque templates should stack with it. And the swarm template description in the Monster Manual (not sure about the SRD) even mentions swarms as being immune to Disintegrate. So the end result monster should have more than eleven hit dice and a CR of 13.

So, if the templates stack, the only thing that can kill one of these things is Move Earth and Earthquake. ;D Not quite sure how you'd explain a swarm of Lernean Half-Golem Dinosaurs though.

So...Will this work?

[Shhalahr Windrider]

Swarms are considered Vermin. Not listed in the above thing.

Vermin?

Uh...
Bat swarm == "Diminutive Animal"
Rat swarm == "Tiny Animal"

I see nothing about these creatures even being considered vermin for a few special effects in the Swarm subtype description.

[AtomicKitKat]

Ok, I missed the mammalian swarms, but honestly, can you say "Lernean Multi-Headed Half-Clay Golem Rat Swarm" with a straight face? :P

Edit: Are we sure Half-Flesh Golem isn't a better template? Immune to all spells except fire/cold which slows it down, and electricity, which heals it. Immunity to Slashing/Piercing could probably be achieved with other things.

[Jothki]

To get rid of earthquake, can you just make the thing(s) fly?

[Shhalahr Windrider]

Ok, I missed the mammalian swarms, but honestly, can you say "Lernean Multi-Headed Half-Clay Golem Rat Swarm" with a straight face? :P

No. ;D

[Rigeld2]

Ok, I missed the mammalian swarms, but honestly, can you say "Lernean Multi-Headed Half-Clay Golem Rat Swarm" with a straight face? :P

Edit: Are we sure Half-Flesh Golem isn't a better template? Immune to all spells except fire/cold which slows it down, and electricity, which heals it. Immunity to Slashing/Piercing could probably be achieved with other things.

Immune to all spells that offer spell resistance. Theres a pretty big differerence... And theres an awful lot of spells that dont offer spell resistance.

[AtomicKitKat]

Immune to all spells that offer spell resistance. Theres a pretty big differerence... And theres an awful lot of spells that dont offer spell resistance.

Disintegrate offers spell resistance. And since unlike the clay golem, it's not specifically mentioned as being vulnerable to Disintegrate... ;D

[Behold_the_Void]

Is it possible to apply two half-golem traits? As I recall the half-golem template comes from a failed attachment for a golem prosthetic, so that would in theory permit multiple half-golem traits, if needed.

[Rigeld2]

iirc no half golem can be applied to a construct, and half golems give you the construct subtype.

[Rigeld2]

Disintegrate offers spell resistance. And since unlike the clay golem, it's not specifically mentioned as being vulnerable to Disintegrate... ;D

So its immune to disintegrate.. its not immune to Acid Arrow, for example. Nor any of the orbs from Complete Arcane? I think it is. Or you could just Black Tentacle it :p

http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/acidArrow.htm

[WampaX]

So its immune to disintegrate.. its not immune to Acid Arrow, for example. Nor any of the orbs from Complete Arcane? I think it is. Or you could just Black Tentacle it :p

http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/acidArrow.htm

But Acid heals it 1 for 3 thanks to the 1/2 Clay.

[AtomicKitKat]

Actually, WampaX, he was replying to my suggestion about the 1/2 Flesh Golem.

[WampaX]

Actually, WampaX, he was replying to my suggestion about the 1/2 Flesh Golem.

Bah. Saw "golem" and ran with it without looking closer. :-[

[Rigeld2]

Bah. Saw "golem" and ran with it without looking closer. :-[

No biggie. And you dont have to use Acid - theres an Orb spell for every damage type (Electric, Sonic, etc.)

[storybookknight]

I'm not entirely sure that 3.0 and 3.5 should be mixed that way...

That said, the Harssaf is immune to fire, being a CR 5 monstrous humanoid.

Is the Lernaen template 3.0 or 3.5? I seem to recall Lernaen hydras being phased out in 3.5, with enormous amounts of fast healing instead of actual immunity.

[Shhalahr Windrider]

I'm not entirely sure that 3.0 and 3.5 should be mixed that way...

I believe that half-golems are from MM II (Am I right? I don't have that book).

As such, a download for updating it to 3.5 is available at the WotC website. As the point of Ikea Tarrasque 2.0 was to update the Ikea concept to 3.5, I am certain that Rei Jin took that into account.

Oh, yeah, I don't think I said it earlier, so I'll say it now:
Way to go, O Master of Stilton Bearded Cheese!

[Goumindong]

So...Will this work?

As i said earlier, move earth and earthquake wont work because both spells do not do slashing damage, which means that you cant remove one of the heads, which means you cant kill it. Added to the fact that they are immune anyway, because swarms are immune to all spells that have single targets, and in the half-clay golem description, it says that the move earth and earthquake must be targeted directly on top of itself.

Bat and Rat Swarms do it earlier, and Hellwasp swarms do it stronger.

[Sacrath]

I can see the crazed wizard now...

Golem making wizard, surrounded by hundreds of tiny bat wings: "Haha! Grafting these bats with tiny clay arms was a great idea! Only 400 more to do and I will have an unstobable creature!"