What should I do about this player?

[MonkeySage]

I know that as a gm I've made a lot of mistakes, and I've tried my best to correctthem when I learn of them, but I am mot sure how to act with this player. his behavior both in and out of game is iritating. when he feels like he cannot contribute, instead of trying anyway he sits back and tries to sleep(irl) and acts like he doesnt wanna be there. he only ever makes characters who are helpful in combat, but who exist purely for comic relief. occasional comic relief is refreshing, 24/7 is annoying(at least the way he does it.) back when he was playing his bard, I introduced a female npc, and all he cared about was her breast size. his new characer is supposed to be somewhat of a loon, but he's playing her as a cartoon character. he's constantly distracting me when I'm trying to narrate a scene. I've been very tolerant of his behavior up till now(we've been gaming for a year), but I am not a saint. I've tried talking to him about this but I do not believe he respects me enough to listen.

[Squark]

Hmm... Well, how did you talk to him, for starters? How you say it is important.

Edit: Also, is this bothering the rest of the group? I mean, this your game too and that's reason enough to address the issue, but if you can honestly say the rest of the group is frustrated, you'll have a lot more credibility with him.

[MonkeySage]

Mainly spoke to him about trying to sleep through the games, participating minimally only when he feels he can contribute. I asked him why he keeps doing it, he never really explained it. He just keeps asserting "I can't do anything, so what's the point."

[Tengu_temp]

Tell him to stop acting the way he does because it's distracting and makes the game less fun for you. And if he doesn't listen, or responds in a disrespectful way... Kick him from the group.

[EvilAnagram]

Kill him and all his children, take all of his livestock, distribute his possessions to your men, and sacrifice a young bull to Odin.

[Jay R]

Talk to the rest of the players, and find out how much they agree with you. If they do, have an intervention in which every participant makes clear that if he doesn't start playing the game seriously, he won't be playing the game at all.

This is not a DM-specific issue. It's an all-participants issue. Share the decision. (And the blame.)

[Mr Beer]

Kill him and all his children, take all of his livestock, distribute his possessions to your men, and sacrifice a young bull to Odin.

This is over the top. Times are tough, Odin will make do with a couple of chickens these days.

[Mr Beer]

Talk to the rest of the players, and find out how much they agree with you. If they do, have an intervention in which every participant makes clear that if he doesn't start playing the game seriously, he won't be playing the game at all.

This is not a DM-specific issue. It's an all-participants issue. Share the decision. (And the blame.)

Agree with this, my limited experience of problem players is that the other players want you to sort it out without them really having to get involved though. But finding out what they think about the situation is a good idea, if nothing else you do want to know that you are not going to get a full scale walkout if you kick this guy out.

[Storm_Of_Snow]

Mainly spoke to him about trying to sleep through the games, participating minimally only when he feels he can contribute. I asked him why he keeps doing it, he never really explained it. He just keeps asserting "I can't do anything, so what's the point."

Okay...

Why does he think he can't do anything?

Sometimes the player is the problem, sometimes they're only a symptom of the problem - assuming he's not always been like that (you've put up with him for a year, so I'm guessing he contributed at the start and has migrated into his current behaviour, otherwise you'd likely have booted him then), it sounds to me like someone else is hogging the limelight, so he's bored, frustrated and at least partly sulking, as well as being passive-aggressive.

Rather than asking why he's trying to sleep (which is essentially you saying "you're doing something I don't like, stop it"), ask him to tell you honestly what he thinks is wrong with the game.

I bet you get a very different answer.

Alternatively, next time you play, try and take a step back - try and keep a mental note of who's taking charge, and how they're doing it (maybe even record the game and listen to it back a couple of days later when you'll be able to get a true appreciation of what's going on). And if there's someone close to you playing in the group (say your significant other), keep an eye on how much attention and leeway you give them compared to everyone else.

[Mastikator]

Is this player by any chance a child? If not then tell him to stop acting like one.

[Mr.Moron]

You've already been more than patient. Time to let him know he is no longer welcome at the table. Life is too short to spend with wastes of time like him.

[Lord Torath]

You might try bringing something like this to your next session, have everyone read and sign it, and get everyone on the same page. I also like the idea of asking him what he wants out of the game, and discuss what can be done to get him more involved. It may be there's nothing to be done but part ways, but maybe you can come to a compromise. Talking to the other players is a good idea too. (See number 2)

[Thrawn4]

Seconding the suggestions to talk to the other players and asking the problem player why he thinks he can't do anything out of combat.

-This is a group game, so the group should have fun. Getting a general impression of what the group wants helps a lot. Then you can act accordingly. Or even better, let the group act.
-But you should note that playing a combat focussed character is not wrong. On the other hand, even those can contribute a lot. Maybe he thinks that he cannot do anything because that requires skill points. Show him that he can still achieve a lot that is not related to combat: Interaction with other characters, paying attention to the surroundings, convincing NSCs with arguments rather than mere skill points and breathing life into his character.
-Explain to him that his behaviour is distrupting to you and ask him to tone it down a bit.

[Sartharina]

-Explain to him that his behaviour is distrupting to you and ask him to tone it down a bit.

Dude... you can't get behavior any more 'toned down' than "Falling asleep"

[Jaycemonde]

Dude... you can't get behavior any more 'toned down' than "Falling asleep"

Well, you could get it down to "Spontaneousy falls into a coma upon end of combat."


In all seriousness, I agree with the thing everyone's saying about getting his side of how the game is going and looking for a compromise, but make sure he understands that focusing solely on cup size is gross.

[nedz]

I suspect that this is a play-style issue: He wants a silly game, but you run some other kind of game.

This is really down to the group: OK, as DM you have a natural leadership type role, but everyone at the table has a stake; so ask them what they think ? They may want some other, third, type of game ?

[Dewani90]

well, le'see...

first you need opinions of all your players, even the problem one, what do they thing of your campaign... i mean, if you get a lot of "meh, it's fine", then maybe it isn't interesting enough for everyone and most of them are just playing to finish the thing, then, you need to know why some of them feel like they are not contributing enough... as in "can't do anything, tell me when it's over zzzzzzz", even the most useless character can do stuff... like, most of the party is full of warriors, clerics, mages, and a hobo, who makes them laugh and does magic tricks at times, what does the hobo do for the party?, well, for starters he is the best distraction and information gatherer of the bunch, can distract guards by telling them drunk stories while someone sneaks from behind... or can be in some street sitting on the floor, or following someone who looked suspicious, and they will talk with their contacts, in front of him, because "he is just a hobo", everyone can contribute, you must tell him/her that even the most funny-based character can contribute while still being the class clown if they like, still, tone it down a bit, not everyone can laugh that much, and most people get bored of the jokes after a while, also, players shouldn't shift all the responsibility on you, they should say what they think, when they are all together, without making it feel like they are teaming up against the problem player, just say, what he/she can do to make things better and still participate with all his/her friends (he/she is your friend am i right?, that's the best reason to have someone around for more than a year)