Post the worst player-characters you can come up with

[Altrunchen]

Post descriptions of what you feel would be the absolute most annoying, most lore-breaking, most mary-sueish,or most inconvienient to build and/or to maintain characters here. We can make a forum game out of it. Like, you post what character the player presents you with and then some over-the-top reaction you'd love to do but probably wouldn't in real life.

EDIT: In other words, make up deliberately terrible characters so we can all have a good laugh.

I'll go first:

Player Brings:
A multi-class level 1 Psion (I already hate this character), level 1 fighter, level 1 bard, level 1 rogue, level 1 ranger, and level 1 tantrist, with plans to go into a prestige class from an obscure supplement later on. This character is a homebrew race between half-dragon (black) and tiefling. It has put almost every rank into diplomacy so that it can manipulate others. And it has a tragic-backstory of being rejected for being different and being kind to innocents but having an uncontrollable rage when betrayed that destroys everything around it. It gave up on love and happiness a long time ago because its significant other dumped it after tearing its heart out, eating it, sacrificing the character's fiends and family, corrupting their homeroom teacher, and making their pet hamster die. The character's only character fault is its own power, they also have long black hair that is constantly flowing. For their weapons they took the ambidexterity and monkey grip feats and dual-wield scythes made out of their own hatred and pain.

My Reaction:

Spoiler: MFW

Show

[neonchameleon]

A kender thief.

[Killer Angel]

A kender thief.

Just one post, and we already have a Winner...

[Altrunchen]

A kender thief.

Guard: "Stop right there criminal scum! Did you steal that amulet?"

Kender Thief: "You bet I did mister! :D"

[mikeejimbo]

Just any kender.

[Altrunchen]

Just any kender.

When I saw the dude's post, I didn't know what a Kender was. So I looked it up and, yeah, I can see how they'd be annoying in general. They're like munchkins or something. I'm so glad I haven't run into these things in my actual games.

[Lord Torath]

A kender thief.

Um, that's a character, not a Player. And a well-played kender thief is a boon to any party, just like a well-played character of any other class. And a kender thief in the hands of a jerk player is a detriment to any game, just as any other character in the hands of a jerk player.

Hate the player, not the race/class. Oops. I somehow mistook this for the Worst Players thread.

[mikeejimbo]

Kender shouldn't be that bad in theory, but I swear 98% of the time they are.

[KillianHawkeye]

This isn't the worst character I can think of, but I seriously had a player for a D&D 3.5 game make a TWF Ranger with a level or two of Fighter who stubbornly wore medium armor and wielded a battleax in two hands, didn't have any ranged weapons worth mentioning, and never bothered taking an animal companion. I don't quite remember their exact skill allocation, but I'm pretty sure they were garbage at tracking.

[IZ42]

Wait wait wait guys... I got dis.


Pun-Pun

[the_david]

After going through a number of options with a less experienced player she decided to go for a Human Ranger wielding a reach weapon two-handed. (Pathfinder, so it wouldn't be a terrible carreer choice.) I helped her optimize her feats and traits a bit and then she decided when she reached level 2 that dualwielding longswords was so much better (She had already taken Power Attack and Combat Reflexes at level 1) I used math to show her the error of her ways. She is now convinced a greatsword would do her more good than a lucerne hammer. She still hasn't made that much use of her Combat reflexes though.
(She once also decided her level 5 sorcerer needed the Intensified Spell metamagic feat.)

The Human Summoner in the same game has a constitution of 8. (25 point buy) He is not a Synthesist.

The Gnome Sorcerer's (Infernal bloodline) favorite spell is Chaotic Vitality from Deep Magic. We are playing Way of the Wicked, an adventurepath where you are not allowed to be chaotic or good... He chose the Gifted Adept trait and used it on Magic Missile. He also has the highest bluff score, but his player is not very adept at bluffing, preferring to blurt out the things we'd rather keep secret instead.

[Altrunchen]

Um, that's a character, not a Player. And a well-played kender thief is a boon to any party, just like a well-played character of any other class. And a kender thief in the hands of a jerk player is a detriment to any game, just as any other character in the hands of a jerk player.

Hate the player, not the race/class. Oops. I somehow mistook this for the Worst Players thread.

No worries, this is supposed to be more of a forum game where we purposefully make up terrible character ideas for laughs.

Kender shouldn't be that bad in theory, but I swear 98% of the time they are.

Well like Lord Torath was about to say, a good player with just about any kind of character is a boon to the party, whereas a bad player is always a detriment.

This isn't the worst character I can think of, but I seriously had a player for a D&D 3.5 game make a TWF Ranger with a level or two of Fighter who stubbornly wore medium armor and wielded a battleax in two hands, didn't have any ranged weapons worth mentioning, and never bothered taking an animal companion. I don't quite remember their exact skill allocation, but I'm pretty sure they were garbage at tracking.

Well, did they at least have fun? I mean that's kind of the ultimate goal of the game regardless of one's approach to it imho.

Wait wait wait guys... I got dis.


Pun-Pun

What do you mean?

After going through a number of options with a less experienced player she decided to go for a Human Ranger wielding a reach weapon two-handed. (Pathfinder, so it wouldn't be a terrible carreer choice.) I helped her optimize her feats and traits a bit and then she decided when she reached level 2 that dualwielding longswords was so much better (She had already taken Power Attack and Combat Reflexes at level 1) I used math to show her the error of her ways. She is now convinced a greatsword would do her more good than a lucerne hammer. She still hasn't made that much use of her Combat reflexes though.
(She once also decided her level 5 sorcerer needed the Intensified Spell metamagic feat.)

The Human Summoner in the same game has a constitution of 8. (25 point buy) He is not a Synthesist.

The Gnome Sorcerer's (Infernal bloodline) favorite spell is Chaotic Vitality from Deep Magic. We are playing Way of the Wicked, an adventurepath where you are not allowed to be chaotic or good... He chose the Gifted Adept trait and used it on Magic Missile. He also has the highest bluff score, but his player is not very adept at bluffing, preferring to blurt out the things we'd rather keep secret instead.

Hmm, sounds like this person was given more options than they knew what to do with. Generally when I run a campaign with some noobs in it, I highly suggest that they do the tried-and-true human fighter. Because it has a simple role that it fills very well and it's not difficult to understand like some other classes are. They just get feats over time. Bland, I know, but I recommend it for total noobs to D&D so they can watch the others play and learn by doing instead of being overwhelmed with all the options out there. Say what you will about player choice, sometimes they just don't know what they want. But that's just me.

[runeghost]

A kender thief.

Kender thieves aren't that bad - any sensible party will murder it beyond hope of resurrection the moment it enters play, and volia! Problem solved.

[runeghost]

N
What do you mean?

Pun Pun is a rules-exlpoiting kobold who can bootstrap himself to godhood.

http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/Pun-Pun...acter_Build%29

http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Pun-Pun

[LooseCannoneer]

Kender Monk wearing Chainmail, with negative DEX and WIS modifiers.

[cougon]

I played a Kender Thief once that everyone enjoyed. He managed to become a god during the second play session, but he was fun while he lasted.

[Mastikator]

Um, that's a character, not a Player. And a well-played kender thief is a boon to any party, just like a well-played character of any other class. And a kender thief in the hands of a jerk player is a detriment to any game, just as any other character in the hands of a jerk player.

Hate the player, not the race/class. Oops. I somehow mistook this for the Worst Players thread.

The worst player would be whoever willingly makes a Kender thief character ;)

[Lord Raziere]

A kender thief.

I can do one better.

kender batman wizard.

[YossarianLives]

I'm a little bit confused. What, exactly is the problem with kender?

[Flickerdart]

I have just the comic:

[Corsair]

They're an entire race of allegedly adorable kleptomaniac halflings from Dragonlance who the setting bends over backwards to portray as just sho shweet.

[IZ42]

My brother tells me how much of a [bad person] I am when I just say the 'Kender'. For example (my brother's building a homebrew universe for context):

Me: So, have you built a world of Kender yet?
Brother: Have I ever told you how much of a [bad person] you are?

[Flickerdart]

My brother tells me how much of a [bad person] I am when I just say the 'Kender'. For example (my brother's building a homebrew universe for context):

Me: So, have you built a world of Kender yet?
Brother: Have I ever told you how much of a [bad person] you are?

Eh, Kender don't work too badly when they're isolated. A kender-only society would have very high rates of information and wealth exchange, and the lack of emphasis on material wealth (since kender get bored with it very quickly) would result in a fairly egalitarian society. This works better when they come on the tail of another civilization, though, since infrastructure work takes patience they wouldn't have.

[neonchameleon]

I'm a little bit confused. What, exactly is the problem with kender?

Kender were basically written as a race that gave jerk players full license to go wild, and are portrayed utterly inconsistently. Stealing from the party and provoking the monsters because "I'm bored" are written into the race description. And more to the point they aren't just written in, they are written in inconsistently. So other races find Kender shenanigans charming (i.e. Kender should go wild). And Kender "have no concept of personal property" except they always steal, never give - and they will lie about what they stole rather than just shrug. Someone annotated the 3e writeup of Kender to say what they actually thought.

[supergoji18]

A Gnomish Barbarian...

[Altrunchen]

Um...could we maybe, idk, stay on topic here? This was supposed to just be a fun game about making up silly and dumb characters, but it seems like it's becoming just a discussion about one race e_e;;; .

A Gnomish Barbarian...

Ah, there we go. :D

Believe it or not, I had that in one of my campaigns once. He wanted to play a Spore-Totem (Homebrewed from this forum) and he did alright. Even if he got his ass whooped by the half-orc fighter regularly XD.

[M Placeholder]

Kender shouldn't be that bad in theory, but I swear 98% of the time they are.

In the Planescape setting, a kender that is a member of the Xaositects.

As for others off the top of my head, a thri-kreen swashbuckler on a ship with elven crewmates, and a half-ogre rogue. I also one time played a necromancer sorcerer elf whose ambition was to conquer Kyonin with an undead army. he had a wisdom score of 7.

[Corsair]

Fourth Edition, a Vryloka with the Vampire class who took the Vampiric Heritage feat.

Or for a different breed of obnoxious,

Hey guys my characters a half-werewolf (her mom was a werewolf at full moon when she was born so she has some traits like little claws and ears like a nekojin, so kawaii) Samurai and on her first adventure she ran into a beautiful vampire who she fell in love with and he bit her and made her a vampire too, but then he ran away and so she's searching for him but shes special so she doesn't burn in sunlight or have to drink blood unless she wants to and her names Sakura Rayvnne.

[Flickerdart]

Hey guys my characters a half-werewolf (her mom was a werewolf at full moon when she was born so she has some traits like little claws and ears like a nekojin, so kawaii) Samurai and on her first adventure she ran into a beautiful vampire who she fell in love with and he bit her and made her a vampire too, but then he ran away and so she's searching for him but shes special so she doesn't burn in sunlight or have to drink blood unless she wants to and her names Sakura Rayvnne.

Don't forget how she's 100 years old but looks 16, and fights with a legendary katana only she can wield.

[Corsair]

Naturally. Her name properly is Sakura Kalu'thira* Amber Destiny Ravynne.



*Means Twilight Star