Help with parody lyrics

[Rofltrollcopter]

I'm a DM for a live tabletop group, and I'm looking to make a parody of 'A modern major general' by Gilbert and Sullivan as performed in the Pirates of Penzance, called 'A modern-day adventurer'.

Link to the original song:

Spoiler

Show

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSGWoXDFM64

lyrics:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Major-General%27s_Song

I was wondering if anyone had suggestions for lyrics, this is what I have so far:

"I am the very model of a modern-day adventurer"
"I've delved the Tomb Horrors and fought many an evildoer"

"In sort in social, exploration and combat encounters"
"I am the very model of a modern-day adventurer"

"Though I'm only caught up to the third and a half edition"
"You cannot find in Khorvaire a more apt tactician!"

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

I'm not sure whether this is the right board for this, if this is not please tell me and I will move this.

[GoblinGilmartin]

I'm a DM for a live tabletop group, and I'm looking to make a parody of 'A modern major general' by Gilbert and Sullivan as performed in the Pirates of Penzance, called 'A modern-day adventurer'.

Link to the original song:

Spoiler

Show

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSGWoXDFM64

lyrics:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Major-General%27s_Song

I was wondering if anyone had suggestions for lyrics, this is what I have so far:

"I am the very model of a modern-day adventurer"
"I've delved the Tomb Horrors and fought many an evildoer"

"In sort in social, exploration and combat encounters"
"I am the very model of a modern-day adventurer"

"Though I'm only caught up to the third and a half edition"
"You cannot find in Khorvaire a more apt tactician!"

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

I'm not sure whether this is the right board for this, if this is not please tell me and I will move this.

Great start, but I think you're a little short on syllables.

[spineyrequiem]

I am the very model of a modern-day adventurer!
I've had encounters with the social, most strange lands and combaters
I know the players handbook and I quote adventures modular
From Border's Keep to Horror's Tomb we went through them quite squadular
I'm very well-acquainted too with matters expositional
I understand descriptions, both the published and original!
About our past adventures I am teeming with a lot of news
With many cheerful facts about the bits the DM couldn't use!

I'm very good at adding up and rolling lots of D20s
I know the stats of kobolds, whites and other creatures such as these
In short, when facing socialites and most strange lands and combaters
I am the very model of a modern-day adventurer!

That's as much as I can be bothered to do for the moment. I'll do more after dinner.

[nedz]

Here's a start perhaps

I am the very model of a modern-day adventurer,
I've powers spell-like, extraordinary, and supernatural,
I know the items magical and I quote the items compendial.
From Armour to Artefacts, in order categorical;
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters metamagical,
I understand illusions, but the patterns and the phantasmagorical,
From schools, I dump the enchantment and the evocational,
With many cheerful facts about the shadow conjurational.

[Trevortni]

I prefer to rip what I can straight out of the original, where possible:

Spoiler

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I am the very model of a modern-day adventurer;
I've information typical, both in- and out-of-character:
With knowledge kings and nobles and also fights historical,
From Tomb of Horrors, onward, that in order categorical.
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters much more practical:
I understand the dungeons, both exploring and fights tactical,
About Religion, Planes, Arcane, I'm teeming with a lot of facts: (bothered for a rhyme)
With many cheerful bits about the stats of ancient artifacts.

I'm very good with creatures borne of nature and religious myth,
I know the scientific names of beings come from planar rifts:
In short, in matters typical, both in- and out-of-character,
I am the very model of a modern-day adventurer.

Whew! That was actually kinda exhausting! I think I'd better take a breather before I press on....

[Trevortni]

I prefer to rip what I can straight out of the original, where possible:

Spoiler

Show

I am the very model of a modern-day adventurer;
I've information typical, both in- and out-of-character:
With knowledge kings and nobles and also fights historical,
From Tomb of Horrors, onward, that in order categorical.
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters much more practical:
I understand the dungeons, both exploring and fights tactical,
About Religion, Planes, Arcane, I'm teeming with a lot of facts: (bothered for a rhyme)
With many cheerful bits about the stats of ancient artifacts.

I'm very good with creatures borne of nature and religious myth,
I know the scientific names of beings come from planar rifts:
In short, in matters typical, both in- and out-of-character,
I am the very model of a modern-day adventurer.

Whew! That was actually kinda exhausting! I think I'd better take a breather before I press on....

Pressing onward - I'm going to try to get away from knowledges and into other skills now:

Spoiler

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I know a dozen languages, Draconic and Celestial;
I answer expert riddles, I get pretty lit at festivals,
I quote in Elf and Giant all the spells inside the PHB,
In my bag I can hold all of the loot I got but not XP;
I can forge undoubted documents of which the king would not dispute,
And sing a bardic chorus with accompaniment on the lute!
Then with a Sleight of Hand of which you've seen the skill check not before, (bothered for a rhyme)
I'll steal your gold and jewels and leave your pants falling upon the floor.

Then I will hide right in plain sight and make you think that I'm a tree;
I multi-classed and that is what makes it much easier to flee:
In short, in matters typical, both in- and out-of-character,
I am the very model of a modern-day adventurer.

Hmmm, not as good as my first verse, though I seem to have wound up with Bardic and Thieving skills represented; maybe the third one should be about fighting.