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    Default The Flesh Alchemist's Convention: Monster Homebrew Competition Chat Thread

    The Flesh Alchemist's Convention: Monster Homebrew Competition Chat Thread

    This is the dedicated chat thread for the new Monster Homebrew Competition. Please post any questions, concerns, comments, PEACH requests, and miscellaneous discussion about the contest in this thread!

    Current Contest: And Now For Something (not) Completely Different!

    Past Winners:
    Zaydos' Mimonkey - Making a Mockery contest
    Last edited by ezkajii; 2015-05-18 at 10:58 AM.
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    Default Re: The Flesh Alchemist's Convention: Monster Homebrew Competition Chat Thread

    Are we allowed to use the contest's picture for our entry? I have a wonderful idea for a monster, but I want to use that picture...
    Amazing Abjuration Avatar made by Serpentine.
    Quote Originally Posted by Gramarie IRC
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    <Fako> You laugh because it's true :P
    <~sirpercival> yes. yes i do.
    Skinshred Swarm (CR 9) / Reaper Wolf (CR 5) / Demonecris (CR 18)
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    Default Re: The Flesh Alchemist's Convention: Monster Homebrew Competition Chat Thread

    I can't see why not!
    Behold! The Monster Compendium

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    78% of DM's started their first campaign in a tavern. If you're one of the 22% that didn't, copy and paste this into your signature.
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    Default Re: The Flesh Alchemist's Convention: Monster Homebrew Competition Chat Thread

    Hey man, good luck! I brought back the monster competition a long time ago, but I couldn't keep up. I hope that the same doesn't happen to you.

    I may add an entry because I keep meaning to get back into homebrewing, this may just be the perfect opportunity
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    Default Re: The Flesh Alchemist's Convention: Monster Homebrew Competition Chat Thread

    Thanks! I haven't run a competition before but I've got a good feeling about it.
    Behold! The Monster Compendium

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    Default Re: The Flesh Alchemist's Convention: Monster Homebrew Competition Chat Thread

    Well, have a seventh of the first part of a three-part boss fight.

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    Default Re: The Flesh Alchemist's Convention: Monster Homebrew Competition Chat Thread

    I've got an idea, just got to make the time to make it. Which won't be for a few days at least. And make it where the PCs don't find a way to abuse it for twinned spells.
    Peanut Half-Dragon Necromancer by Kurien.

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    Default Re: The Flesh Alchemist's Convention: Monster Homebrew Competition Chat Thread

    To keep things fair, I'll gladly PEACH any entries.

    Note: Envy has too many feats (please designate bonus feats with (B) or B. Looks like some abilities are missing designation (probably Ex abilities). Where are the saves? Hit points should still round down; not a fan of changing the rules without a good reason. There should be game mechanics associated with Special Abilities.

    Devils normally do not have Unarmed Strikes. This creature should have levels of Monk.
    P.E.A.C.H. Please Evaluate And Critique Honestly. Being nicer and kinder doesn't hurt either. Note I generally only critique 3.5 and Pathfinder material.
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    Default Re: The Flesh Alchemist's Convention: Monster Homebrew Competition Chat Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Debihuman View Post
    To keep things fair, I'll gladly PEACH any entries.

    Note: Envy has too many feats (please designate bonus feats with (B) or B. Looks like some abilities are missing designation (probably Ex abilities). Where are the saves? Hit points should still round down; not a fan of changing the rules without a good reason. There should be game mechanics associated with Special Abilities.

    Devils normally do not have Unarmed Strikes. This creature should have levels of Monk.
    If you look carefully, it becomes more obvious that those are monk levels, not outsider hit dice. I've changed it to designate bonus feats, Deadly Sin and Shrug Off should indeed be (Ex) - no trying to lock them down in an AMF or whatever. The saves are where the saves are (Between SQ and abilities), and the monk special abilities are monk special abilities.

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    Default Re: The Flesh Alchemist's Convention: Monster Homebrew Competition Chat Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Jormengand View Post
    If you look carefully, it becomes more obvious that those are monk levels, not outsider hit dice.
    if that is the case then the creature designation is wrong. It should say:
    Medium Outsider (Devil), 10th level monk.

    The save mechanics of the creature's special abilities are missing. Let me explain.

    Since curse of green eyes is a supernatural effect, the target should have a chance to save against it. DC is 18 (10 +1/2 creature's HD + Cha modifier). This is what I mean by game mechanics. Also, how many times a day can Envy use this ability? This is exceedingly powerful as an At Will effect for a creature with only 10 HD. I recommend that the curse only last 1d4+1 rounds rather than be a permanent effect as that would be overpowered.

    The mechanics of Shrug Off aren't detailed enough. Rather than using current hit points, it should be based on the creature's total hit points. Again, this prevents it from being math intensive for the DM. I removed the first sentence as it isn't necessary and does not pertain to the special ability.


    These would be my recommendations; feel free to copy and paste:

    Curse of Green Eyes (Su): At will as a standard action, Envy can attempt to curse any target within a 60-foot radius with its green eyes. Any target that fails its Reflex save (DC 18) swaps its ability scores, base attack bonus, base save bonuses and armor class (including flat-footed and touch armor class) with those of Envy. The curse lasts for 1d4+1 rounds unless Envy chooses to lay a curse on a new target (including the existing target) or chooses to end the curse early. Targets keep their own hit points. The save DC is Charisma-based.

    While the curse is in effect, both Envy and the target's AC values are locked until the curse ends. Neither removing existing armor nor donning new armor has any effect until the curse ends. However, other effects that would change the AC value, such as a morale effect and spells such bull's strength work normally. Envy can only have one curse active at a time.

    Shrug Off (Ex): A creature with a Shrug Off ability can negate the effect of any spell or ability that would affect it or negate an adverse condition without requiring an action for it, even if it is not on its turn. However, the creature must pay 20% percentage of its total hit points to do so. These hit points are only temporarily lost and can be regained normally. If a creature has fewer than the number of hit points needed, it cannot use this ability. Envy can spend 9 hit points to shrug off a spell effect or avoid being the target of an adverse condition. If using the ability would take a creature to 0 or fewer hit points, the ability simply fails and no hit points are lost.

    Debby
    Last edited by Debihuman; 2015-03-16 at 05:20 AM.
    P.E.A.C.H. Please Evaluate And Critique Honestly. Being nicer and kinder doesn't hurt either. Note I generally only critique 3.5 and Pathfinder material.
    Please, please, please when using non-core material, cite to the books. There are too many books to wade through to find the one with the feat, special ability or spell you use.
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    Default Re: The Flesh Alchemist's Convention: Monster Homebrew Competition Chat Thread

    Trouble is, CoGE'ing something and then running up and monking something in the face is all envy can really... do. A save that a 16th-level character (even with low reflex) should not be able to fail kinda takes the kick out of that.

    In fact, being a monk makes the ability a lot worse, with Envy's high saves and medium BAB. A 16th-level wizard should still be able to take Envy even with the full-strength curse on the party's barbarian. Barbarians aren't known for their great reflex saves, so a halfway-competent blaster should be able to shoot him down. Yes, you're surrounded by the other sins, but you have the rest of your party.

    Shrug Off I guess could use total hit points, but that would make it way too easy to take the squadron of so-powerful-that-normal-cr-isn't-good-enough sins. I mean, at the lower power level, this is what happens:

    - Whoever wins initiative wins initiative.
    - Envy is a monk, so the party focuses on, say, pride if they win initiative.
    - Envy uses Curse of Green Eyes and the opponent passes a reflex save.
    - Envy gets killed by pretty much whatever. Like, say, empowered fireball?
    - GG.

    Otherwise,
    - Whoever wins initiative wins initiative.
    - Envy is a monk, so the party focuses on, say, pride if they win initiative.
    - Envy uses Curse of Green Eyes to get better stats.
    - Barbarian rages to get better stats.
    - Envy does a bit of damage to barbarian, but ultimately dies because the barbarian is still a barbarian and the monk is still a monk.

    I mean, it's the mantra of nearly every brewer that more numbers don't help. And all Envy's doing is swapping his mediocre numbers for your good numbers.

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    Default Re: The Flesh Alchemist's Convention: Monster Homebrew Competition Chat Thread

    So Envy basically takes your better abilities and gives you is worse ones in exchange and it can spend its hit point to avoid things but otherwise looks like a fairly standard monk. Unfortunately this means it's not all that interesting either. Not listing a CR is a bad idea. It should be geared to a specific level and if you aren't sure, then use Vorpal Tribble's CR Estimator. It's pretty good. Right now it doesn't have enough oomph to challenge a party (CR 10 for monk levels and really it should have some defining devil traits and racial hit dice. Without its monk levels, it's basically a 1 HD devil. It should probably NOT substitute it's first racial HD for monk level. It would be a little better with the extra racial HD.

    Flurry of blows damage is missing (it's a melee attack that does 1d10+ str modifier damage). It needs to take the -2 penalty too. So it should be +7 not +9. See monk chart and text. You should copy all the pertinent monk abilities it should have (that is all open content).

    I'm not sure why it's listed as as having the devil subtype since it seems to be lacking those traits. Devil traits are in the SRD under Devil and were not repeated under Subtype.

    Devil Traits
    Most devils possesses the following traits (unless otherwise noted in a creature’s entry).
    • Immunity to fire and poison.
    • Resistance to acid 10 and cold 10.
    • See in Darkness (Su): Some devils can see perfectly in darkness of any kind, even that created by a deeper darkness spell.
    • Summon (Sp): Some devils share the ability to summon others of their kind (the success chance and type of devils summoned are noted in each monster description).
    • Telepathy.


    Also it is missing a feat.

    Debby
    Last edited by Debihuman; 2015-03-16 at 05:23 PM.
    P.E.A.C.H. Please Evaluate And Critique Honestly. Being nicer and kinder doesn't hurt either. Note I generally only critique 3.5 and Pathfinder material.
    Please, please, please when using non-core material, cite to the books. There are too many books to wade through to find the one with the feat, special ability or spell you use.
    my creations in homebrew signature thread

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    Default Re: The Flesh Alchemist's Convention: Monster Homebrew Competition Chat Thread

    Made a mimic monkey inspired/influenced by Jester of Doom's Mime and Sun Wukong.

    Mountain dwelling monk monkeys who copy your magic and hit you back with it.
    Peanut Half-Dragon Necromancer by Kurien.

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    Default Re: The Flesh Alchemist's Convention: Monster Homebrew Competition Chat Thread

    Just a reminder to everyone, there's just under a week left to get your entries in and/or finished, as appropriate. While a direct one-on-one battle between giants is great for story tension, I'd love to see a few more entries in here!
    Last edited by ezkajii; 2015-04-09 at 06:06 PM.
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    Default Re: The Flesh Alchemist's Convention: Monster Homebrew Competition Chat Thread

    Just a quick note, Minmonkey's full attack line is missing the words "flurry of blows" for the 2nd attack.

    Full Attack: Unarmed Strike +8 melee (1d6+2) or flurry of blows +6/+6 melee (1d6+2)

    Organization -- how many are in a troop? A standard monkey troop is 10-40.

    Voice Imitation has an awkward sentence in it. I recommend changing it to: A mimonkey can imitate any sound within the range that can be produced by a human voice. Also, there are no game mechanics associated with this ability. Just because it can sound like someone doesn't mean it uses the same vocabulary. These aren't very bright, so anyone listening for a minute or longer should be able to figure out that the person being imitated suddenly sounds a lot dumber than normal (provided the original speaker had Int 7 or higher). I would say it takes a successful DC 15 Listen check for someone to suspect that the voice isn't coming from the original speaker. I'm giving the mimonkey a +2 racial bonus for the check since it has perfect mimicry skills.

    Skills: creatures "have" racial bonuses, they don't "gain" them unless they are gained through another source.

    For example: a blahblahblahmonster is hyper-vigilant and has a +2 racial bonus to Perception checks, or a blahblahblah monster is hyper-vigilant and gains +2 Circumstance to bonus to Perception checks for 2 hours after it has drunk a cup of coffee. In the first case, the bonus is part of the racial make up of the creature [a true racial bonus]. In the second case, the bonus is gained only when the coffee is drunk and is dependent on that action occurring [a circumstance bonus]

    Debby

    P.S for anyone else who wants to enter the contest, there isn't much time and I cannot guarantee that I'll have time to review your entry.
    Last edited by Debihuman; 2015-04-10 at 08:06 AM.
    P.E.A.C.H. Please Evaluate And Critique Honestly. Being nicer and kinder doesn't hurt either. Note I generally only critique 3.5 and Pathfinder material.
    Please, please, please when using non-core material, cite to the books. There are too many books to wade through to find the one with the feat, special ability or spell you use.
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    Default Re: The Flesh Alchemist's Convention: Monster Homebrew Competition Chat Thread

    Added a Will save to Voice Imitation since that was used for a various Sound Imitation abilities that it is a more limited version of. Made Troops have 4d6 members for aid in random generation and because I see them as having smaller population than monkeys since they are magically modified creatures and therefore rarer, and also because they are bigger and need a smaller population density to function as hunter/gatherers (farming can expand this).
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    Default Re: The Flesh Alchemist's Convention: Monster Homebrew Competition Chat Thread

    The contest and the voting have finished, and Zaydos has acquired victory!


    The next question, then: Should I make a second contest? We had a pretty poor turnout to this one and I don't want to run it if there's not any interest in it.
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    Default Re: The Flesh Alchemist's Convention: Monster Homebrew Competition Chat Thread

    I think that you should definitely make a next one! Even though this had a poor turnout, I probably would have participated if I could have thought of anything.

    If you make a new one I'll try my hardest to think of something cool!
    Come post a magic item to show that not all unique items are immensely powerful tools of the gods!
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    Default Re: The Flesh Alchemist's Convention: Monster Homebrew Competition Chat Thread

    I really liked this theme. I just didn't really have the time to participate. I'd like to see more.
    Homebrew
    Please feel free to PM me any thoughts on my homebrew (or comment in the thread if it's not too old).

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    Default Re: The Flesh Alchemist's Convention: Monster Homebrew Competition Chat Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by inuyasha View Post
    I think that you should definitely make a next one! Even though this had a poor turnout, I probably would have participated if I could have thought of anything.

    If you make a new one I'll try my hardest to think of something cool!
    Quote Originally Posted by Temotei View Post
    I really liked this theme. I just didn't really have the time to participate. I'd like to see more.
    Encouraging! Excellent; does anyone have any ideas for the next theme?
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    Default Re: The Flesh Alchemist's Convention: Monster Homebrew Competition Chat Thread

    I've always thought more goblin variation could be nice.

    Could Grand & Gross Goblinoids be the next one?

    Just a thought.
    Come post a magic item to show that not all unique items are immensely powerful tools of the gods!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xuldarinar View Post
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    Default Re: The Flesh Alchemist's Convention: Monster Homebrew Competition Chat Thread

    In keeping with previous contests, I peach all entries (as long as I have time). This makes it easier for others who aren't as proficient with the rules or the English language to be in a level playing field. So even if you don't think you are good at this, it doesn't matter. These contests are for fun.

    If I make a suggestion, don't think you HAVE to take it either. We can all use a second pair of eyes (goodness knows I have seen errors in my own stat blocks when I write and I was a professional proofreader!). That said, I try to be respectful (and you should call me out if you think I'm being too harsh as that is not ever my intent.). I also try to keep to YOUR vision of the critter. Again, i can get off track so if I miss something or don't understand it, let me know because if I can't figure out what you mean, chances are the voters will be confused too.

    Feel free to ask me anything about monster creation, I've been doing this a long time.

    Also, I would like to suggest everyone use Vorpal Tribble's CR Estimater to judge the CR. As long as you aren't changing rules around (and house rules do make it harder to judge these). It's not perfect by any means but it gives a pretty general idea of the CR.

    VT's CR ESTIMATOR
    Spoiler
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    #1. Divide creature's average HP by 4.5 to 6.5.
    4.5 for 5 HD or lower, 5 for 6-10 HD, 5.5 for 11-15 HD, 6 for 16-20 HD., 6.5 for 20-25 HD.

    #2. Add 1 for each five points above 10 its AC is, subtracting 1 for every 5 below.

    #3. Add 1 for each special attack (+2 to +5 or more if it has a decent number of spells in its spell-like abilities).

    #4. Add 1 for each quality unless you deem it worthy of more. Add 1 for each resistance and 10 points of DR it has, and 2 for each immunity. Subtract 1 for each vulnerability.

    #5. Add 1 for every two bonus feats it has.

    #6. Divide total by 3. This should be its rough CR.


    I was thinking a Flora and Fauna theme for May as Spring in the US is upon us (and still many areas aren't feeling it yet).

    Debby
    Last edited by Debihuman; 2015-05-02 at 07:39 AM.
    P.E.A.C.H. Please Evaluate And Critique Honestly. Being nicer and kinder doesn't hurt either. Note I generally only critique 3.5 and Pathfinder material.
    Please, please, please when using non-core material, cite to the books. There are too many books to wade through to find the one with the feat, special ability or spell you use.
    my creations in homebrew signature thread

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    Default Re: The Flesh Alchemist's Convention: Monster Homebrew Competition Chat Thread

    Darn, I'm trying to come up with a way to fuse a goblin theme with a flora&fauna theme to please everyone but I'm drawing a blank. Any other suggestions, or votes for either?
    Behold! The Monster Compendium

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    Mine started with the intrepid heroes whisked away to a battle gauntlet in the sky by a mystery deity! It was meant to be strictly a playtest but quickly devolved.

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    Default Re: The Flesh Alchemist's Convention: Monster Homebrew Competition Chat Thread

    What about a specific contest for taking an existing monster (orc, goblin, bugbears, gargoyles etc.)
    and then "merging" them with a more fey-like theme.

    This could also be done with the elves and gnomes to make them "closer to their roots"


    Just a thought ezkajii

    What do you think?

    P.S. I'll still totally participate.
    Come post a magic item to show that not all unique items are immensely powerful tools of the gods!
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    ..What have I done..? What have you done? That poor lantern archon..

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    Default Re: The Flesh Alchemist's Convention: Monster Homebrew Competition Chat Thread

    I think I prefer Flora (& Fauna) to Goblinoids.

    Edit: Illithid stuff could be fun too, all fear the mindsquids!
    Last edited by Zaydos; 2015-05-01 at 03:41 PM.
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    Default Re: The Flesh Alchemist's Convention: Monster Homebrew Competition Chat Thread

    Not a fan of illithids. Plus, they're not open content. However if we just call em "mindsquids" that's okay. Though I think they've kind of limited.

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    Last edited by Debihuman; 2015-05-02 at 07:19 AM.
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    Default Re: The Flesh Alchemist's Convention: Monster Homebrew Competition Chat Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Debihuman View Post
    Not a fan of illithids. Plus, they're not open content. However if we just call em "mindsquids" that's okay. Though I think they've kind of limited.

    Debby
    Ooh Illithids! I think that a lot of fun could be had with them. If they're limited then this is your chance to make them less so.

    Think of your standard mind flayer, 4 tentacled, psionic, cthulhoid, spooky.

    Now, think of the existing variants that exist, most are 4 tentacles, psionic, cthulhoid, and spooky

    But then...think of the really weird variants that people don't bring up enough:

    The Urophion, roper mind flayer, strange, bizarre as hell, different
    and the Neothelid, feral, huge, complete lack of subtlety, but still a powerful psionicist.

    And yes, there is the Uchuulon and the Half Illithid template, but the two above are classics, so they are the only ones that got mentioned.

    My point though, is I think we can work to make these cool beasties different.
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    Default Re: The Flesh Alchemist's Convention: Monster Homebrew Competition Chat Thread

    Hmm... What about something along the lines of one or more variants of your favorite creature? Special rule, up to 3 creature variants, or you could make a new creature kind of based on it, either mechanically similar or whose fluff says it was derived from existing creatures. A) Does that make sense? and B) Does that sound interesting?
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    Default Re: The Flesh Alchemist's Convention: Monster Homebrew Competition Chat Thread

    That could be cool. I'd get behind that, though we'd likely have to be careful about variants with non-OGL content.
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    PirateGirl

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    Default Re: The Flesh Alchemist's Convention: Monster Homebrew Competition Chat Thread

    Nothing with illithids is open content. It's all IP. They're not even in the SRD.
    P.E.A.C.H. Please Evaluate And Critique Honestly. Being nicer and kinder doesn't hurt either. Note I generally only critique 3.5 and Pathfinder material.
    Please, please, please when using non-core material, cite to the books. There are too many books to wade through to find the one with the feat, special ability or spell you use.
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