Anybody know wherre I can get some .wav files?

[No brains]

I have need for some totally wacky sound effects, but I don't want to download them at random because it seems like a pretty good way to get a virus. Are there any good sources for .wav files out there? Are there any other pieces of advice anyone has for me in regards to this subject?

[Mauve Shirt]

freesound.org has a wide variety of stock noises! There also might be some useful bits on soundcloud (which you may have to attribute), and sometimes you'll find good things on the internet archive. They should all be downloadable as .wav from these sites.
Hope this helps!

[Cyber Punk]

Do you need some custom-made? I *might* be able to help.