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  1. - Top - End - #1
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    inuyasha's Avatar

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    Default Those who make men make monsters, those who make dragons make mistakes, Monster PEACH

    False Dragon
    Size/Type: Large Aberration
    Hit Dice: 12d8+36 (90 hp)
    Initiative: 2
    Speed: 30 ft (6 squares), fly 60ft(Poor)
    Armor Class: 15 (-1 size,-2 dex, +8 Natural), touch 7, flat-footed 15
    Base Attack/Grapple: +9/+20
    Attack: bite +15 melee (1d8+7 plus 1d4 fire)
    Full Attack: 4 claws +11 melee (1d4+3 plus 1 fire) and bite +15 melee (1d8+7 plus 1d4 fire)
    Space/Reach: 10ft/5ft
    Special Attacks: Incendiary ooze, Ooze drenched
    Special Qualities: Darkvision 60ft, Immunity to fire, Agonizing existance, Dragonflesh
    Saves: Fort +9, Ref +2, Will +11
    Abilities: Str 24, Dex 6, Con 17, Int 7, Wis 12, Cha 6
    Skills: Listen +16
    Feats: Weapon focus (claws), Improved initiative, Power attack, Great fortitude, Iron will
    Environment: Any non aquatic
    Organization: Solitary
    Challenge Rating: 7
    Treasure: Standard
    Alignment: Usually Chaotic Evil
    Advancement: 13-18 HD (large) 19-24 HD (huge)
    Level Adjustment: -
    Before you is a discombobulated mess of what seems to be dragon parts, tails, claws, a head, scraps of bone, and two mismatched wings. They writhe and throb with unnatural prowess, but the eyes that you see shudder with agony. The pale orange skin seeps with a black, thin ooze, dripping over every bit of its form.
    The False Dragon is some poor wizards attempt at making a dragon using parts available to him, unfortunately the beast bred true, and can breed with other dragons, causing more False Dragons to arise. The methods of their original creation were burned by the first false dragon.


    Agonizing existence (Ex)
    Due to the hellish pain the creature is wracked with for eternity, a false dragon must make a fortitude save every other round in combat, or every fifteen minutes outside of combat, or be affected by a confusion spell as cast by a bard of a level equal to the False Dragon's hit dice divided by two, and ignoring any level caps on the duration of the spell. This is because those False Dragons that live to become ancient only have worse more agony than the rest. The False Dragon does not have to make fortitude saves while confused, though the practice resumes as the effect ends.

    Incendiary Ooze (Ex)
    The ooze that covers a false dragon is highly flammable, and may be breathed as 20ft. long cone. Everyone within this cone must make a reflex save (DC 19, con based) or be coated with the black ooze. Those covered ignite on the next round, taking 4d6 (1/3 the dragons hit die) fire damage, and lighting on fire. This fire may not be put out until either five rounds have elapsed, or they are put out through some sort of magic. Incendiary ooze may be used once every 1d6+1 rounds.

    Ooze Drenched (Ex)
    The false dragon is covered with a hyper concentrated version of the goo that they breathe, this causes the dragons natural attacks to do fire damage as shown in the stat block. This goo does not however ignite upon the flesh of the false dragon who made it, only teeth and claws (or other hard/bony parts as the DM may wish) are affected.

    Dragonflesh (Ex)
    For determining whether or not a False Dragon is effected by a spell or attack, treat it as a true dragon. It may also count itself as a true dragon whenever doing so would be beneficial to it.

    A False Dragon's Ooze Gland...
    If the gland that creates the ooze is harvested from a false dragon properly (DC 15 survival, taxidermy, or other appropriate check at the DMs whim) the ooze contained within (1d3+1 doses) may be used to make a chemical to be mixed with alchemists fire (DC 5 alchemy check). This modified alchemists fire adds 5 to the reflex save DC to put out its fire and does 1 more die of damage (total of 2d6 in the normal cases, though this could change, epic alchemy effects it in the same way)
    Last edited by inuyasha; 2015-04-30 at 09:21 AM.
    Come post a magic item to show that not all unique items are immensely powerful tools of the gods!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xuldarinar View Post
    ..What have I done..? What have you done? That poor lantern archon..

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  2. - Top - End - #2
    Pixie in the Playground
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    Default Re: Those who make men make monsters, those who make dragons make mistakes, Monster P

    Incendiary Goo definitely needs to have a cooldown period. As written, it can do that every round, which is 20d6 fire damage to up to 16 creatures effected over the course of the next five rounds, with no listed way to put it out. Very powerful, especially for a CR7 creature.

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    Default Re: Those who make men make monsters, those who make dragons make mistakes, Monster P

    Quote Originally Posted by Demonic Kitten View Post
    Incendiary Goo definitely needs to have a cooldown period. As written, it can do that every round, which is 20d6 fire damage to up to 16 creatures effected over the course of the next five rounds, with no listed way to put it out. Very powerful, especially for a CR7 creature.
    Oh crap I forgot to add that! Thanks.

    I'm also adding a thing in the description of goo drenched as well, to make it so the dragon isn't on fire all the time

    A description for having the Goo Gland as treasure is included as well.
    Last edited by inuyasha; 2015-04-29 at 08:35 AM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xuldarinar View Post
    ..What have I done..? What have you done? That poor lantern archon..

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  4. - Top - End - #4
    Pixie in the Playground
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    Default Re: Those who make men make monsters, those who make dragons make mistakes, Monster P

    Lovely. I enjoy alchemical items a lot, so the goo gland is nice. But seriously: just give the alchemist's fire an extra damage die. It's ridiculous that they can't do 2d6 fire damage until 21st level.

    You may want to clean up the wording on Dragonflesh a bit, too, as right now it's a bit confusing. Maybe something along the lines of: "For determining whether or not a False Dragon is effected by a spell or attack, treat it as a true dragon. It may also count itself as a true dragon whenever doing so would be beneficial to it."

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    Default Re: Those who make men make monsters, those who make dragons make mistakes, Monster P

    Regarding Agonizing Existence: as written, you need to specify the caster level of the effect to determine the number of rounds the effect lasts. I would recommend changing it to emulate lesser confusion, which has a duration of only one round, or simply say that if it fails, it is confused for that round (a condition itself defined in the DMG).
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    Default Re: Those who make men make monsters, those who make dragons make mistakes, Monster P

    Changes have been made and suggestions have been taken. Anything else?

    This is fun
    Last edited by inuyasha; 2015-04-29 at 06:51 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xuldarinar View Post
    ..What have I done..? What have you done? That poor lantern archon..

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    The photo got removed, but I'm a silver trophy winner of Pathfinder Grab Bag XII: of Dungeons and Dragons

  7. - Top - End - #7
    Pixie in the Playground
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    Default Re: Those who make men make monsters, those who make dragons make mistakes, Monster P

    Quote Originally Posted by inuyasha View Post
    Anything else?
    An order of fries, and can you supersize that?

    May I ask what inspired this little monstrosity? It's a great idea, I'm just curious.

    Also, you could totally refluff this to an oil dragon with a little work. Y'know, just because. (My mind is strange, don't judge me >.> )

  8. - Top - End - #8
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    Default Re: Those who make men make monsters, those who make dragons make mistakes, Monster P

    Quote Originally Posted by Demonic Kitten View Post
    An order of fries, and can you supersize that?

    May I ask what inspired this little monstrosity? It's a great idea, I'm just curious.

    Also, you could totally refluff this to an oil dragon with a little work. Y'know, just because. (My mind is strange, don't judge me >.> )
    I really don't know what inspired it, I was just thinking about homebrewing a monster (I'm trying to get back into homebrewing) and I thought of a writhing mass of dragon parts badly sutured together with black ooze. Expanding on that with the dragons affinity to fire I thought the ooze could be more fun if it were like napalm instead of something toxic (we've got enough of those). It was pretty random and strange. I also didn't realize until now that "False dragon" could be a joke about "True dragon", this wasn't my original intent though.

    As for the refluffing, I do that all the time with little things, why not do it with something big. I won't judge . As you can see by the above paragraph, my brain's a little strange too .
    Come post a magic item to show that not all unique items are immensely powerful tools of the gods!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xuldarinar View Post
    ..What have I done..? What have you done? That poor lantern archon..

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    The photo got removed, but I'm a silver trophy winner of Pathfinder Grab Bag XII: of Dungeons and Dragons

  9. - Top - End - #9
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    PirateGirl

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    Default Re: Those who make men make monsters, those who make dragons make mistakes, Monster P

    My goodness, a snot-covered dragon! [Okay not exactly but now I want to stat up the Flu Dragon that makes you sick when it uses its breath weapon...] Forgive me, I'm not right in the head today.

    Where was I? Oh yes, a peach...

    Goo Drenched isn't needed as a special ability. You don't have to explain why the false dragon's attacks cause fire there, as that should be in the creature's description. Note there is no game mechanic that is part of this ability so it's all description. Also, since the dragon is immune to fire the last sentence seems to contradict that. How are the claws and teeth affected?

    How does a false dragon attack with 4 claws? Does it have extra limbs compared to a normal dragon? Normally a Large dragon makes a primary bite attack with its secondary attacks being 2 claw attacks. 2 wing buffets, and a tail slap. See here: http://www.d20srd.org/srd/monsters/dragonTrue.htm A true dragon also has an extra 5-foot reach with its bite. The false dragon's description suggests it has mismatched parts but doesn't say those parts are in different places on the dragon (and how are other dragons not grossed out by this if that is the case?). I can go with weird biology, but even weird biology shouldn't break my suspension of disbelief. I think you meant the full attack line to show the false dragon's bite as its primary attack since it is at +15, so it should come first in the stat block.

    While this may have mismatched parts, I would assume its parts are all in the appropriate places. BTW, if it's made from dragon parts how is this a living creature? It's got a Frankenstein's monster vibe to it. By rights, this should be an Undead not an Aberration. I think this leaves me wanting to know more about its creation (a good thing).


    Edit: One more thing, Aberrations have darkvision 60 feet as part of their Features.

    Debby
    Last edited by Debihuman; 2015-04-29 at 08:06 PM.
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  10. - Top - End - #10
    Ogre in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Those who make men make monsters, those who make dragons make mistakes, Monster P

    Hah thanks Debi, I always like your PEACHes
    So the problems shall be adressed in the following order
    1. Goo Drenched: I included this as a special ability in the sense that it provides an explanation (the claws and teeth are on fire, the rest of the body is not, so it will not affect grappling in any way) and that it may be semi important for it to be seperate, this could be changed though
    2. I was imagining it attacking with extra "limbs" that are really just oddly flexible (perhaps double jointed...or no jointed) and have spikes at the end (resembling claws)
    3. I was also thinking aberration because I like the idea that it's a living creature, has a mind and feelings resembling such (as tortured as they may be) and this makes the insanity seem a little more ghastly. I also wanted them to be able to reproduce, as the clutch of them was the only one created through an outside force (I like to think the mage originally made 5 through a strange ritual, four of them each reproduced, while one was kept separate so the mage could witness one in isolation, but this is background fluff)
    4. Thanks for the darkvision thing!
    Come post a magic item to show that not all unique items are immensely powerful tools of the gods!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xuldarinar View Post
    ..What have I done..? What have you done? That poor lantern archon..

    trophies
    The photo got removed, but I'm a silver trophy winner of Pathfinder Grab Bag XII: of Dungeons and Dragons

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    Default Re: Those who make men make monsters, those who make dragons make mistakes, Monster P

    The constant use of the word "Goo" kind of spoiled the horribleness for me. It makes the whole thing sound less like a cime against nature, or more like something out of a mid-90s Nickelodeon game show.

    Have you considered using a more... menacing word?

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    Ogre in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Those who make men make monsters, those who make dragons make mistakes, Monster P

    Writing this last night I was very tired and not creative, editing it throughout the day I have realized the same thing. Let me think of a fix for this

    Edit 1: Ichor?
    Last edited by inuyasha; 2015-04-29 at 08:52 PM.
    Come post a magic item to show that not all unique items are immensely powerful tools of the gods!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xuldarinar View Post
    ..What have I done..? What have you done? That poor lantern archon..

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    The photo got removed, but I'm a silver trophy winner of Pathfinder Grab Bag XII: of Dungeons and Dragons

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    Pixie in the Playground
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    Default Re: Those who make men make monsters, those who make dragons make mistakes, Monster P

    I think ichor is worse than goo. It's too close to "ick" imho.

    To the Googles!

    My personal preferences from thesaurus.com for "goo": quagmire, alluvium, sludge, muck, and mire.

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    Default Re: Those who make men make monsters, those who make dragons make mistakes, Monster P

    Eh, just to make things nice and simple I just changed it to ooze. That seems to be better.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xuldarinar View Post
    ..What have I done..? What have you done? That poor lantern archon..

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    The photo got removed, but I'm a silver trophy winner of Pathfinder Grab Bag XII: of Dungeons and Dragons

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    Default Re: Those who make men make monsters, those who make dragons make mistakes, Monster P

    The false dragon needs to make a Fortitude save for its Agonizing Existence but you left off the DC of that save. Probably should be 10 + 1/2 the dragon's HD and its Constitution modifier. The save DC would then be DC 19. It's really convoluted.

    Here is my recommendation, removing unnecessary text and removing the information regarding level cap of the confusion spell because there is no level cap on a confusion spell.

    Agonizing Existence (Ex): Because of its hellish pain, a false dragon must succeed on Fortitude save every other round in combat, or every fifteen minutes outside of combat. The DC is 10 +1/2 the false dragon's HD + its Constitution modifier (DC 19 for the sample false dragon). If it fails its save, the false dragon is affected by a confusion spell as cast by a bard of a level equal to half the false dragon's hit dice. A false dragon does not have to make Fortitude saves while confused, though the practice resumes as the effect ends.

    I hate to break it to you, but describing the ooze on the outside of the dragon that can be used as a breath weapon makes no logical sense unless the dragon has spent a full round action licking itself first (yuck). Keep it simple. Don't make up weird mechanics for things already in place. This is just a breath weapon.

    Breath Weapon (Ex): Once every 1d6+1 rounds as a standard action, a false dragon may breathe a 20-foot cone of flammable ooze. Everyone within range must succeed on Reflex save (DC 19) or become coated with the black ooze. Anyone coated with the ooze catches on fire the next round, taking 1d6 points of fire damage for every 3 hit dice the false dragon has. (4d6 fire damage for the sample false dragon). This fire burns for 5 rounds and cannot be extinguished by non-magical means. The save is Constitution-based.

    Note: I would also randomize the duration of the fire in the breath weapon to 1d4+1 rounds.
    Debby
    Last edited by Debihuman; 2015-04-30 at 05:15 PM.
    P.E.A.C.H. Please Evaluate And Critique Honestly. Being nicer and kinder doesn't hurt either. Note I generally only critique 3.5 and Pathfinder material.
    Please, please, please when using non-core material, cite to the books. There are too many books to wade through to find the one with the feat, special ability or spell you use.
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