So I left my group

[oxybe]

Up until "recently" (as in the beginning of last month) I hadn't actually played the final version of 5th ed. I was at the local convenience store buying some cookies or something and talking to the cashier, who I've come to know after years of "this store is a block from my house and actually convenient".

Dude was seeing about starting up a 5th ed adventurer's league and was asking around if I wanted to join. I said "Sure, last time I played was in the beta so why not?" I wasn't really sold on the beta but I'm a strong believer in giving a final product a good test before making up my mind.

I drop in and see that someone from my regular group was wrangled into GMing at the last minute. And by last minute I mean "I came an hour early and he's in the middle of printing off and reading the WotC materials at the FLGS".

Convenience store guy comes in with a group of people, having picked them up in his car, we do the "Hi, my name is X and I'm playing a Y".

It doesn't take long for the poop to hit the fan.

One particular player is playing a pushy draconic sorcerer nobleman and seems to have made it his mission to butt heads with me at every turn. My druid want to help people, he complains that I'm wasting my (downtime) heals on the populace. I disagree with his course of action, voting prudence over pushing onwards, he starts calling me a coward (and gets his face immediately punched in by a spiritual weapon's crit. That was karma. I did heal him though).

Every time I try to get a word in, the guy shoots me down. The other players are pretty passive, not actively agreeing with him but going along because he seems to already be doing something regardless of what we choose or are in the process of deliberating.

I change character going "alright, if being a nice guy isn't going to work i might as well play a character who won't care. It might just be a conflict of character interests." Roll up a bardlock.

Didn't help. I gave Guy a second chance and he still kept ragging on me, and on Thursday, after half the party bailed (him being the first one, natch) when my character was grappled (the only ones who actually tried to save me were the two passive ones mentioned before), I was basically left for dead, the paladin being out of lay on hands and still hurting from the last fight and the rogue being semi conscious and unable to get a sneak attack to save my life.

I went home that night and after spending a few evenings deliberating, I told the GM that I won't be playing again with that group. We then played Dicemasters and laughed at funny videos on the internet.

So yeah, after about 4-5 sessions I left a group. Moral of the story folks: don't play with abusive gamers. It's far better to play other games or watch funny videos of cats or looking at stuff spinning on their axis in microgravity and actually having fun with people who's company you do like then wasting hours with bad company.

No idea what my convenience store buddy and the rest of the group are going to do. Not my problem anymore though.

[Maglubiyet]

*Morally-supportive high five!*

Did anyone else recognize/acknowledge that he was abusive? The GM could've saved this by not inviting him back. Unless he was somebody's brother or something?

[oxybe]

*Morally-supportive high five!*

Did anyone else recognize/acknowledge that he was abusive? The GM could've saved this by not inviting him back. Unless he was somebody's brother or something?

Always up for a high-five, morally-supportive or otherwise!

*high-fives right back!*

I think the GM was just in a "wait and see" mode like I was for the most part. We're good friends out of game, having known him for the better part of a decade, and neither of us have gamed with these guys before, so I'm fairly certain he was likely doing the same thing I was: testing the water and getting a feel for them, especially since there were two rather passive players.

GM did mention slight dissatisfaction to me out of game at the tone the group was taking as a whole, which is generally evil. Not that we particularly mind evil games: I ran one with the GM as a player and we had a great time, it's just not something he's used to running. He didn't mention any particular restrictions on characters upon campaign creation as it was very much a pickup game with players coming in characters already created, so the "save the people in trouble" tone of the WotC stuff simply wouldn't have worked with this group unless there was a big pile of money or magic items involved.

Which is one reason why my initial druid left the group, there was simply a conflict of in-character interest on how to proceed with things. The warning signs came to me the session before last when I introduced the warlock and his overall behavior didn't stop (less overall butting heads, but that was because I generally let him do what he wanted), last session became the last because I had enough of his attitude.

Also note this happened over the course of 5ish sessions, where people who haven't gamed together before are still trying to get a feel for one another.

I haven't really spoken to convenience store guy since I made my decision yesterday, but he did mention to me on Friday night when I picked up some bread that Jerkguy was kind of being a jerk, so it seems like the behavior was noted by others then me and GM. I'll probably see conveni-guy tonight when I pickup some juice or something.

But yeah, I'm holding no grudges or made any blood bad: I've tipped my had, put on my coat and quietly left the table. I see no reasons to burn bridges. I like the GM, the convenience store guy is still a guy I like talking with and the two passive players were the ones to help me while I was grabbed by the monster (convenience store player was off scouting the tunnels at the time so he couldn't help). The group, minus jerk, was perfectly fine.

It's just that I see no reason to spend my Thursday nights entertaining that one bad apple. I'll either stay home and play Team Fortress 2, Heroes and Generals, Minecraft or go play Dicemasters at another table that night.

[Keltest]

If Guy were to leave or be booted from the group, would you be open to rejoining them? Or was the general feel even beyond Guy's antagonism not encouraging?

[oxybe]

If Guy were to leave or be booted from the group, would you be open to rejoining them? Or was the general feel even beyond Guy's antagonism not encouraging?

If Guy was gone? I'd likely have stayed.

The rest of the group was fine, I'm just not a fan of his attitude... the one spoilt apple in an otherwise fine batch. If they were to go "He's gone now, do you want to come back?", I'd probably say yes... with a new character, for obvious reasons. Like I said: GM is a longtime friend, ConveniGuy is a cool dude and the two mostly passive players seem to be nice fellows, they're just happy not hogging the spotlight.

[RandomNPC]

I've got similar thoughts about a game I'm in. Dudes wife usually hosts us, and he's usually at work, but when he's there it's basically a lesson in domestic verbal abuse. I've never heard him not have a sarcastic tone in his voice, and the last time he gamed with us his druid ran from an octopus. After he left for a surprise call from work someone else took his character and saved the day in two rounds by spamming summon natures ally.

So I feel for ya, and if this guy gets home more often, we'll be in the same boat.

[Mr Beer]

I think I would have told him to back the eff up myself, out of game and at a personal level. Some people feel free to behave like jerksif they are allowed to get away with it but if you call them on it and make it clear you are not going to put up with their BS, they suddenly go all shuffly.

[Geddy2112]

Some players seem to think they need the ring of contrariness- a magical item that causes them to go against the party or 1-2 players just because they can. In a game that is focused on group and teamwork, these people are toxic. Not to say there are not campaigns and game systems(paranoia) that thrive on this, but playing like this when the rest of the group is not is just as bad as trying to be the heroic stalwart in a den of criminals.

I probably would have said something out loud, albeit politely, about how you don't want to play in this type of game before you left. Also, if you are going to PvP, you kill them. Criting and then healing shows the player that there are no actions for their consequences. If you are going to engage in such, it should be to the death...not that a player of this maturity level is going to handle this very well.

+1 for leaving though. No gaming is better than bad gaming.

[d13]

Beautiful reason to fire up some PvP you missed there, though

[oxybe]

Sorry if it wasn't clear, but the crit wasn't from me, but an enemy who was hiding and kinda panicked when Jerk rushed and opened the door. Jerk got bonk'd on the noggin' with a crit, so we dragged him away and I healed him. It was a nice bit of karma for his constant rashness after I kept pushing for a more cautious approach. Plus the character I was playing at the time wouldn't just up and murder someone for a slight... he fought for self defense more then anything. It's the reason he left the party after having enough instead of trying to murder them.

Also note I only made the decision to leave the group on Saturday, whereas the session was Thursday. I was still debating after the session if I really wanted to stay or not as I would like to hang out with GM and ConveniGuy.

I did speak to Jerk Sunday night though, when I stopped by the convenience store and he came in and started chatting me and ConveniGuy about making new characters. I told him I wasn't going to attend the next session as his overall attitude towards me/my characters was kinda jerkish. He then reinforced my decision with "I was just playing my character". I thanked him for validating my choice of leaving the group as he just admitted to bringing a character he knew was going to be a jerk proceeded to be a jerk and we left it at that... nothing more to say, really. He bought his stuff and left, I kept chatting to ConveniGuy about other stuff, we watched some late-night TV and I went home with my stuff.

I also dislike PVP for the most part. I'm here to play TTRPGs with people, not against them, doubly so since TTRPGs are generally downright horrible mediums for PVP. If I want to beat up on people, I have various Fighting games or shooters that handle that style of play infinitely better and infinitely x2 faster.

[goto124]

Come to think of it, computers are much better because the players are physically separated while still providing an easy-to-use medium. Not so much for tabletops.